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#I APPRECIATE Y'ALL HAVING MY BACK AND ALL

11cupid-tarot11 · 3 days

Text

A letter from your future self.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

1 -> 3

DM me for private readings

$5.55 per question!

C@sh app and PayPal payments only!

Tips appreciated

Cash tag- $minnieplant3

Love y'all!

- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Pile 1- The star, Two of wands, The devil.

"I think it's time you and I have a talk, I know you know who I'm talking to, yeah I'm talking to myself, but it's not just you and me here, what about little us? Past us? The most important form of ourselves? You haven't been listening to all of us, why? Why do you ignore the child in you who screams to be listened to, to be understood, who just wants to heal like the rest of you. I promise you it's not silly at all to be in tuned with your inner child, I promise you no one's going to hurt you or make you want to hide away again, they can't control your emotions. They only want you to feel so powerless against them, like you're helplessly chained to them, but you have the power to break the chain and run free again, wild. You deserve to follow your dreams, do whatever you want, whatever it is that's been bugging you like a fly in your ear, a project that's always on the back of your mind, the one that just wouldn't go away since you were a child, you can do it, I know you can because I'm already here as proof, but I can't spoil too much. Be creative, shine brightly and never let anyone dim that light. I love you with all my might! ;)

- Me"

Don't forget the poll below!

⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Pile 2- The devil in reverse, Three of wands, Justice.

"Hi buttercup! I hope all is well these days, I've been thinking about you so much these days, well let me explain, I've been thinking about how hard we've worked, how far we've come and what we had to do to be here. I know, it's a lot. I'll often look back a lot and think about how unfair things were, how many people were never on your side, how many battles you've had to win on your own and how many you've had to lose. I'll never forget the day we decided we had had enough of our problems, our addictions, the toxicity and just did something about it, we cut that toxic person off, quit that stupid job or finally changed that damn schedule of yours and did something better for your health. Whatever it was we did it <3 and it paid off so much, I'm so happy we did because it led us to better days, so much abundance, everything we've always deserved. We got the justice we've always been searching for in such a cruel world and I'm so proud of us for doing that baby girl! We never gave up, no matter how much we wanted to, how much we wanted to go back to that same place because it was comfortable and we just got so blind sided we never knew we could do so much more if we just put our mind to it! Go us! Go me! Go you!

Love- The version of yourself you were always meant to be 🩷"

Don't forget the poll below! Love you!

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖.

Pile 3- Six of coins, Ace of wands in reverse, Two of coins in reverse.

"Psst! Remember that project you weren't so sure about? You know the one, well I have a message for you! If you get started with it now I bet you a million bucks you could never guess where you'll be ten years from now. You remember that big house you've always wanted? All of the wealth you've always wanted to share and give back to others? We finally can! We did it! It was always important to give back to the ones we love, to be able to support and live comfortably and we finally did it. Just try not to get too big headed, okay? Remember who you are, where you come from and why you started this in the first place. Don't forget about your loved ones, the ones who supported you through thick and thin. I know your schedule might be busier, just don't forget to find that balance. We're at a very important time in our lives right now, I understand this, but remember to take a break from that damn schedule of yours. Take time for us, okay? I want you to call off as soon as you see a single sign of distress and go to the spa, I promise you're going to need it! ;) "

-Big boss lady (this pile was channeling feminine energy, someone who's in charge of their own business and gives orders to others. Very important business woman vibes here.)

Don't forget to do the poll at the bottom! Love you!

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

#18+ tarot #pac love reading #pac tarot #pick a card #spirituality #tarot cards #tarot #tarot reading #tarot love reading #tarot messages

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yourplasticlittlespastic · 23 hours

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E̴N̴T̴W̴I̴N̴E̴D̴ - Series - Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x f/reader

Warnings: Solid context, fluff but very much self-pleasure session with Benny bby +18, not raw but is going there

Notes: IT'S ALMOST TIMEEEEE Y'ALL, hours away really. Thank you again for reading and liking this story <3 it makes me feel so appreciated :')

WC: 6.4K I got carried away hehe

You didn't know how to stare at Lord Coxingworth at this very moment. He was so graceful in his movements, with his words and his pose and everything pointed in the right direction. Correction. To the proper direction.

With a glint of desperation, you saw how he started to confess, how his speech started and you felt so... frustrated. He will ask why you will say no to his proposal and what could you say? Benedict Bridgerton has searched all over me for his inspiration and still is not finished.

You blinked away and saw Lord Coxingworth with impatience. When can he be done? So you can flee and go three houses up and meet Benedict and finish whatever happened last night.

***

"Benedict" you whimpered at the force of the kiss

"Say it again, sweetheart" he mumbled seeing you with passion "Say you want the same"

You could not feel your body, your legs failed you and his grip on your waist was the only thing holding you up "I want the same"

"You do?" he purred and his nose brushed yours "You do?"

"Yes"

His eyes sparkled "No need to convince you"

"What are you calling this then?" you pointed at your extremely warm and suffocating embrace "hmmm?"

"I call it, finally" he smiled, and he kissed you, and you felt yourself sink.

The next time you opened your eyes, Benedict's hand was in the small of your back, and your body was flush against his, the thin fabric of your sleeping gown was the only thing separating you from his skin.

"How I've dreamed of this" he muttered against your lips "how many nights did I wish you were beside me"

"You are so silly, Ben" you cupped his cheek "So, so silly"

"Why is that?"

"You are here" you smiled "And I am here. Dreams do not often come alive and still, I am here"

"hmmm" he was an avalanche at your words as his head buried on your neck smelling the sweet scent of you. His teeth grazed your sensitive spot making you moan, his tongue traced every kind of form and shape and it made you agonizingly hot and needy.

He sucked the spot where your shoulder met your neck and he gripped you, pinned you against the wall. You have never met so much desire before, the way his body felt against yours was not enough.

"Ben, I can't take it anymore" you cried in a whisper and your hand cupped his cheek

"Tell me what you need" he breathed so harshly as he broke the safe heaven of your neck and he saw the pause in your beautiful framed eyes and it struck him.

He can take you right now, here in his studio. He has it so easy, that you already took your robe out of your delicate body so he could, in a swift motion, remove your sleeping gown. He can spread your legs and admire your womanhood, he can lock his mouth in your nipples and oh so kiss your ribcage while playing with you and, and, and...

But you stared at him with a flinch of hesitation. He is not stupid, he knows this is the first page you have opened in the book of lust and sex. Taking you here, getting your innocence on a night like this is far from what he wants. He knows that you can respond to his question and tell him what you need but is it really what you need? Hell, he is again thinking for you but no, this is a matter far more important to think.

"I know what you need and I know what you want" he whispered caressing her cheek "That is all I needed to hear"

Your eyes landed on your twisted neckline as your right shoulder remained visible "But-"

"I know" he chuckled and placed a tender kiss on your cheek, your chin, the tip of your nose, your forehead and his lips hovered at your ear "And it is going to be everything you dreamed of and more, my love. But perhaps tonight is not the night"

"You mean, after marriage?" you asked shyly

Benedict was fighting with the idea, his groin was fighting with the idea "If that is what you want... I-"

"No, I meant if you believe it is for the best"

"Of whom?" he felt the sweat on his nape

You shrugged "of us?"

"Is that a question or an answer?"

"I don't know" you huffed

"I know what you mean" he nodded, his honour and yours were hanging from a thread so so thin like your gown and then it hit him again if your innocence will be taken in some near future then he can do other things to you that do not require you losing it "and I know what we can do"

"What?" you begged in your soft voice

"Have fun before our nuptials"

***

"Miss Ashbourne?"

You blinked at Lord Coxingwworth and his waiting smile "My Lord?"

"As I was saying" he turned around to stare at your mother who was there and you didn't realize until now "I know a diamond when I see one and you shine so bright it was hardly a discovery" he kneeled and took your hand "Miss Ashbourne, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Your mother stood there and her expression was unreadable. She looked at Lord Coxingworth and then at you, her face was calm, no tears, no happiness and no excitement, it was what it should happen.

"My Lord" you stumbled upon the words "I... I..."

"I understand this is a surprise but" he turned to stare at your mother "I do believe Miss Ashbourne can give me an answer right now, can she not?"

"Of course, Lord Coxingworth," said your mother with a hint of disappointment and a hint of frustration aimed at you "This is such an honour, a blessing really and we are honoured, my dear are we not?"

You swallowed your pride and smiled "It is, indeed" and you khow he was going to take what you said as a yes so you launched forward that he almost lost his balance "But I am in such a complex situation that I must come clean to you, my Lord"

"Y/N-"

"You see" you interrupted your Mama "I am engaged" The words dribbled from your lips so fast that they were not even formed correctly

"Engaged?!"

"I know, I should have told you beforehand but it was a rather sudden engagement and-"

"Miss Ashbourne" Lord Coxingworth was standing at his feet once again and he looked... he looked embarrassed in all his splendour "Miss A-"

"I hoped to see you today to bring the news but your speech caught me off guard I couldn't stop you between such devoted words"

Your mother looked beyond furious but her modals did not falter

"I... to..." he stuttered "To who are you engaged? I thought you were not seeing someone else"

"As I said it was rather fast, yes" you inhaled "Mr. Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton"

"Dear Gentle Reader,

My oh my, this author has nothing more to say but ouch. A commotion happened just outside Ashbourne's residence at Old Burlington Street. The loud voices clearly woke everyone who was still dreaming and what a thing. Yours truly was not there -or if I was you will never know- but the story has not been dissimilar from person to person contrary to other gossips. This one stays the same.

Lord Coxingworth walked outside the residence and it was not with a new wife but with a rather sad irate face. He avoided his transportation only to knock, insistently, at Benedict Bridgerton's residence but he found no one apart from a poor housemaid who was shocked to her core at his insistent manner of talking with the second son.

This author is clear on something. He proposed and Miss Ashbourne has said no, that or another thing transpired. But let me be clear, this proposal started with the left foot and ended clearly with Miss Ashbourne dizzily stepping on his foot -again-.

***

You stared at Violet's eyes as she kindly scanned your face "I must say I can't imagine what your mother told you after this" She left Lady Whistledown and sighed "was she harsh, dear?"

"She hasn't spoken to me yet" you admitted with a slight pinch inside and you took your tea and saw the roaming body of Eloise in the back "Eloise you are making me dizzy"

"You are going to step on my foot too?"

"Eloise!" Violet reprimanded "Your dear friend is going through a hard time, can you be more sensible?"

You looked around at Hyacinth and Gregory who were curious about your situation but not meddling that much. You felt so uneased at the fact that you have left the Bridgertons -except one- in the shadows. They don't know that you are going to marry Benedict, they only know you said no to Lord Coxingworth.

"Was he untoward to you?" Violet asked

You shook your head, trust is strong with her as you considered her an exceptionally maternal woman "No, thank God. He was always proper and I only have good things to say about him"

"Then?" Eloise confusedly scrunched her nose "Why the negative?"

"I am sure she has her reasons" Francesca came back with an embroidery set "Don't you?"

"I do" you muttered but the truth had to come with Benedict in the room "Bu-"

"When you are ready, dear" Violet softly curved her lips "Now drink your tea it will calm you down"

It was no more than minutes when you heard some noise downstairs, you straightened on your chair and waited. The butler by the entrance to the room you six were stepped back. You frowned and your face contorted at the sight of Benedict, sweat around his temples, flushed, tired, his attire looked convoluted, his hand nested a bruise on the knuckles.

"Oh my!" Violet stood up and walked to him "Benedict what happened?"

Everyone except you interrogated him. Your logic made sure to merge the happenings.

"Bring water, and bandages" Violet commanded, tears in her eyes "My boy, what...?"

"Mother" he said and took Eloise as support, she guided him to the divan by the end of the room "I assure you I am fine, fatigued that is all"

"Have you quarrelled with someone?" Gregory asked

"Gregory, Hyacinth please go to your governess"

"B-"

"I am pleading you two" Violet was on the verge of tears "Please"

The children walked outside with the biggest of pouts and they both threw glances at Benedict but he didn't return any apart from seeing you there. He sneered a bit when Eloise touched his shoulder.

"What happened?" Violet demanded

"A quarrel indeed, mother"

"Of what sort?"

"I assure you, I am on my five senses, mother. Quite spirited actually" he said smiling, directed at you of course but you looked down “I am just bruised, you should have seen him”

Violet could not pop her eyes more “who?!”

Eloise sighed and walked to sit next to her brother who was clearly trying to control the pain of his wound "Lord Coxingworth..."

"Coxingworth?!" Violet was going to have a heart attack

"Mother, I know I have a lot to explain, and I promise I will. But can we save it for later?"

"Benedict! We certainly cannot”

“Or won’t?” He tried to smile but flinched as a maid tried to heal the wound “There is no need for that now, thank you” The maid bowed her head and left “Mother-“

Violet sat down and looked at you “I am so sorry Y/N… I was not expecting this at all” she heaved as she breathed “, especially with Lord Coxingworth in the middle of this” She stopped and looked at Benedict “Why Lord Coxingworth?” She questioned

“Yes, why him?” Eloise asked

Benedict looked at you and nodded and you nodded back, this was it.

You took a deep breath and stood up. Violet might have thought you were excusing yourself but her eyes turned to see how you walked forward at their private questioning circle.

“Mother” he tried to draw one of those pursed adorable smiles he knows his mother adores “I am going to marry, Miss Ashbourne”

Eloise Bridgerton not so subtly snorted with such a noise that drew everyone’s eyes towards the wall where Francesca stood straight, she giggled at her sister’s reaction. She stood so quiet all this time that everyone looked surprised at her presence.

“I’m sorry?” Eloise smiled in the only way she knew how to do, confused, perplexed and waiting for someone to say they were pulling her hair

Violet opened her mouth more than she could that her hands did not conceal the shock. Francesca walked closer and her embroidery set still hanging from her hands was long forgotten.

Eloise cleared her throat, a nervous trait she has and nodded with a smile on her face "So that is why we are here?"

You felt like your legs were going to fail you and sat down beside Benedict who shifted in his languid posture to give you space to do so “I know this must be a surprise, it is to us too”

You turned to look at him and he held your hand, the bruised hand, the one you knew had collided with Lord Coxingworth’s cheek, stomach?

“My dear…” Violet touched her chin, the shock not leaving her features for one moment and then she laughed and looked at Francesca who was now standing next to Eloise, looking at the floor with her hands behind her back, her eyes not meeting anyone, especially you “that is why you turned his proposal”

“To accept his” Francesca pointed with her gentle eyes at her brother “My…”

“God!” Eloise exclaimed and sneered and scrunched her face “You and you?!”

Violet chuckled and stood up, she walked to you took your hand and squeezed it, she kissed your forehead and then she kissed Benedict's.

"How?" Eloise's voice was loud "how?!”

“Eloise please” Violet pleaded “Is this not the thing we wanted?”

“But she’s… she is like a sister”

“Eloise!” Francesca caused alarm with her voice “That is not the appropriate way of treating your sister-in-law. Do you want to offend them in such a manner? Or are you just being insensitive again”

Violet waved. Her hands at the sisters “All alright there, let’s see” she turned around “Was Lord Coxingworth the one who started the quarrel?”

“Definitely,” Benedict said and grunted trying to sit straighter

“Good and who else was there?”

“Mostly every other nobleman from this ton”

“So this happened at the club?” She asked and knew the answer was yes “Well if I know something is that those husbands will return home and tell their wives”

“Or mistresses” Eloise finally spoke

“Then…” Violet continued “we shall keep our heads up”

“It is not a scandal” Francesca shrugged “She merely denied a proposal because she was already engaged, right?”

“Yes, very much engaged” Benedict nodded and squeezed your hand

You felt like the most fortunate girl in the world with the support of the Bridgertons, maybe Eloise’s falling quite behind but either way, you knew the rest of the clan would understand that whatever gossip flees from mouth to mouth has a good reason behind.

“My dear” Violet said “you must regain yourself, heal that hand of yours, go to your former bedroom and-“

“Refresh me, I know” Benedict stood up, gracefully placing a hand on your back “I must be back in a while”

His tender voice made you feel all kinds of things and you looked at him as he walked away leaving you again in the company of the women you considered family. Family. They will be real family now.

“There is so much to unfold here” Eloise said sitting down in front of you “Is it not?” She asked the others

“Well” Violet kindly said sitting next to her daughter “if I must say so myself I find this… not surprising at all yet surprising at a degree”

“That doesn’t make sense, mother”

Violet shrugged at Eloise and looked at you “I hope this day does not make you weary, Y/N. This is not the best way for you to start your engaged phase”

“I think I brought it upon myself”

Francesca arched a row “Why?”

You bit your cheek and realized you let yourself talk after so much silence “Well, it was quite confusing at first”

“I bet” Eloise nodded

“Let her talk”

“With Lord Coxingworth being extremely forward and Benedict and I…”

Kissing each other at the devil’s hour.

“Having so much time knowing each other” you continued “I don’t know how it happened but” you giggled “he said we started seeing each other in other colours”

Violet smiled and placed a hand over her heart, the way you saw her do a lot of times, but this was the first time it was directed at you.

Eloise nodded, she looked serious. “Hmmm”

“And true he was” you admitted “However with Lord Coxingworth things were accelerating”

“Why not put a stop and spare his feelings?”

Francesca seemed to growl at Eloise’s lack of understanding.

You bit the inside of your cheeks and shook your head “Benedict wanted time to think as well”

“I would understand that logic” Violet nodded “It is not a simple decision”

Francesca hummed and nodded with her usual quietness

Eloise sighed and rolled her eyes but the look in her eyes was a happy one and then she giggled and nodded a couple of times. “I can’t believe you like my brother”

“Do not speak ill of him” Violet reprimanded

“He is divine, a piece of heaven in earth” she blinked

“Funny” Francesca turned to you “I can’t believe you are my future sister in law"

“I can’t believe this is happening like so” you snorted

“Come here, dear” Violet stood up. She approached you and hugged you, not a tight hug, a comforting one. “All will be well, especially with a wedding coming. That is what must fill your mind and soul.”

***

Was it fear? You did not want to return to your place, alone and ready to be questioned by your mother but with a pinch of hostility. You took every second the Bridgertons offered you that day and when sunset came you prepared yourself for facing your parents.

You said farewell with Benedict by your side. The look on Violet’s face as she experienced for the first time you and Benedict together not as friends but as a couple, made you blush.

Nonetheless when you were ready to walk further to your street he changed the path to-

“Wait”

“Is there something bad?” He felt your resistance

“It is your house” you commented

“Yours too”

It melted you the ease with which he was already sharing things “but, that should be-“

He did not allow you to continue, he simply put a finger over your lips and smiled, he guided you further and opened the door to his house. The sunset painted its walls differently than during the night.

“This time we can pass the evening in…” he hummed “The tea room?”

“Is there going to be tea?”

He smirked and leaned to kiss your lips, the tip of his nose touched yours and he said.

"Maybe something stronger"

His fingers touched your jaw, your cheeks, the tip of your nose and when he reached your chin he tilted it up and kissed you once and pulled apart.

“Come on… fiancé”

The word made your heart beat so hard you were certain the whole London would hear it. He pulled the chair back for you to sit, he poured the amber liquid and handed you the glass. He did the same for himself, a few more drops to his, and sat in front of you.

“Good day?”

You laughed at the mockery “Yes splendid. Best day of my life”

“Leave that for the wedding night” he savoured the rim of the glass with brandy and sighed “All in all, are you alright?”

You smiled and nodded, the warmth in your chest was not because of the drink, nor the day. It was him.

He was smiling, he was not hiding his face, he was not ashamed of your situation and his hands were not shaking.

“I am tranquil now. The situation will die shortly I know”

“Exactly” he smiled “I knew you would come to that”

“Well, you do say you know me well, so who am I to say otherwise?”

He smiled and nodded “Would you like to rest here before you head to your place?”

“Can I just sleep here?” You heard your voice but didn’t remember how is that you articulated it. You listened to your childish complaint and looked up at Benedict’s face.

He leaned his head to the side and smirked “You’re making this harder every day”

“No I’m not”

“Yes you are”

“And?”

“You want me to explode”

“I do not want such a thing”

“You want me to have the most forbidden thoughts about you and because I still can’t act upon them you like the torturing”

“Are you saying I’m a wicked person? Me? After today and yesterday and the days before, are you accusing me of such a thing?

He snorted and looked down as he shook his head.

You stood up and walked to him, his eyes were still low but you were sure his eyes followed you as he saw your figure above.

“Then I am wicked” you naturally said “I won’t go to my house just yet an-“

“Don’t say anything else”

Your body was jolted with strength that the staircase almost felt like air. You tripped, yes, but you almost flew. Where? You saw his bedroom, decorated with the same wooden panels and furniture. The smell of sandalwood and books, his sketches spread in front of the bed that looks extremely plush.

"I know you say you are tranquil," he said taking the knob and closing the door, he turned to you "I still think you are somehow troubled"

You saw he walked to the windows, the greenery from afar quickly was blocked by the thick curtains making the room ten times darker than twilight time.

"Just a tad" you murmured

"I do not enjoy that," he said and started kicking his boots "One thing you should know about me is th-"

"I know everything about you" you tried to smile and he adorably returned it

"No, you don't"

You took the bait plain and simple. You kicked your shoes not caring if the force of the pulling would rip the ribbons around your ankles "Lies" you said coming forward and he sighed against the headboard "I do know you"

He smiled again and made a gesture with his fingers "Just a few things you are missing, Y/N"

You huffed as you sat down by the end of the bed, your dress was not ample enough to sit crisis cross so you opted for your legs by the side, a bit uncomfortable "Like?"

He inhaled "Like for example, I am utterly protective"

"As everyone man should be"

He rolled his eyes "I am not every man, I am Benedict and when I say I am protective is because I am" he scratched his temple "If you are unwell, so Am I. If you are the happiest so will I be... if you are troubled, well I do not like it"

"What happened with Lord Coxingworth?"

Benedict looked down at his already bandaged knuckles, you saw him sigh and look away. "It is not important, not now"

"Did he hit you too?"

He snorted and closed his eyes as he laughed, his head went back to the pillow and you heard him inhale deeply. "Yes of course, it was a quarrel"

"He left my house quite fast... I know he knocked her and..." you stopped

"And he went to the Club and found me. Tried to make me drop the proposal!"

"What?"

"Yes" he looked bewildered "The bullocks of that man" he snorted "he tried so hard to make me say he can have you" he waved his hand "He is a Lord, he can marry tomorrow without a problem but having you was not something I was going to allow him to have"

You opened your mouth "I-"

"And I am not referring to you as an object, I am saying that your soul, as much as it is yours, I want just a pinch of it too"

"You have more than a pinch, Benedict"

He smirked at your comment, his foot playfully tapping your forearm trying to pull you closer. You obeyed and slid closer but not that much.

"So... he was not pleased and he insulted you, me, and well, our families"

"But we are not even married yet!"

"Yes, I know" he looked at his hand "I tried to be diplomatic but-"

"I am sorry," you said "What a sore loser"

Benedict leaned forward and sat upright "I do not blame him, my dear. I would be the most horrible maniac sore loser this world will see, worse than Napoleon if I lose you"

You looked down and your eyes met his hand on top of the duvet and you took it "Thank you for fighting for my honour"

"I am telling you, I am protective" he touched the side of your head "There is another side of me you haven't seen and I am not being naughty"

You laughed "Try to say that again without sounding naughty"

"What I mean" he hummed and laughed "You have never seen a Benedict a la romance... and now that I have you as my.... pffff!" he smiled "My fiancé... that grows even stronger"

"And what do I do with such knowledge?"

"Just know, when things happen, I will be there"

"For?"

"Everything" he whispered and leaned closer and his lips were touching yours. "Everything you need, everything you desire you will have it"

"It is enough with having you" you confessed smelling his warm breath

"Let me give you the world" he purred and kissed you

Was he intending to do that? Because the world seemed to fit in his lips and he was, as he professed, giving it to you. You felt the capturing soft lips as they opened, the tip of his tongue touched yours and the moan he released made you shiver. His arms were strong as they enveloped you, the scent of sandalwood and a touch of brandy filled your nostrils and your heart.

You felt your world leaning and indeed you were. He went to lay on his back as you kept yourself so damned uncomfortable with your straight dress but alas you could at least move your lips. You enclosed his lips and he yours, he licked your lower lip and gently bit it, his hands moved down to your waist, his fingers pressing against the material.

You pulled apart and gasped for air, his chest rising and falling with the same rhythm, his lips wet and swollen, his eyes almost black.

"What is the matter?" he whispered

You huffed and sighed as your hands grasped the lower sides of your dress and pul-

"What are you doing?" he looked panicked...?

"Nothing of that sort, I cannot move with this" You pulled it just above your knees and felt free as you could now flex on the bed

"That..." his blue eyes wandered so deep, so deep he got lost. Your thighs showed your white stockings tightened with feminine ribbon-like garnets and the visible skin was the most tempting thing he had ever seen. "Come here" he turned around and brought you to the mattress, the view oh the view of you against his linen and duvet "Do you have any idea how many times I dreamed of you in my bed?"

"Many I imagine" You tried to joke and he laughed.

"Yes many and none compared to the reality" his fingertips caressed the side of your calf, the sensation tickled you and your feet wiggled as he kept going upwards.

"What are you doing?"

"Touching you, feeling you... memorizing every inch of your body"

Your breathing increased with his touches, his hand moved to your knee and gently passed to your thigh where he could graze ever so lightly your skin, soft "So soft" he muttered

"You're softer"

"I am not" he said, his lips brushing your nose "You are the softest one in here" His hand was now on the inner side of your thigh and you bit the inside of your lips "This is a first" he murmured and leaned closer and his lips were touching the base of your neck, the sensitive part where your collarbone begins and the kisses were making your skin turn red. Benedict frowns at the barrier under your dress skirt "What is this...?"

You so innocently tried to lift your head as he funnily stretched the skirt to look under it "what?"

"You wear pantaloons"

"Pantalettes!" You giggled "Men wear pantaloons, I happen to wear pantalettes"

"Why?" he snorted putting the skirt down as he stood between your legs

"Because..." you laughed "I like them and..." you saw the look he gave you "I know many don't wear a thing"

"Many? Most!"

"And I am not most" Your hands pulled the skirt higher so you could see the soft cream fabric covering your lower part, they are shorter than pantaloons usually reaching below the knee, these you wear reach inches down your womanhood "Is it a sin?"

"For me it is" he snorted "Once married you must not wear them"

"Bene-"

"Let yourself free, my love"

"Ben-"

"Let the air flow" he giggles and you hit his side with your leg "Ouch"

"See me as a Christmastide present"

His ears perked at that "Say what?"

"You unwrap it, don't you? You do so with excitement. You wonder what can it b-"

But Benedict grasped your waist and moved again above you, the movement pulled the rest of the skirt up all the way to the waistband of your goddamned pantalettes

"Now you are the best gift. I agree"

"I was not finished"

"Uhummm" he kissed your neck, his lips and tongue tasted the soft skin and he bit the juncture between the base and the collarbone. His hands were on your hips, his thumb gently pressing your belly and moving slowly up.

"Benedict" you called out to him

"What is the matter, darling?"

"Are you going to remove them?"

He pondered the question for a while "Shou-"

"I feel weird" you confessed and saw how he tried to stop touching your hips "No, not bad... I... feel clammy"

"Clammy?"

You shrugged "Muggy?" you certainly couldn't describe the feeling down there "Perhaps if you take this off and... and..."

"Do you touch yourself?"

What kind of question was that? You frowned "Eh?"

"I mean when I'm not there and you need a relief, do you touch yourself?"

Your cheeks felt hot and he saw them turn a shade of pink that was almost too adorable. "No...?"

"Is that a ques-"

"No, why would I?" You simply asked

Benedict's shoulder dropped, he saw your face and wondered why were you so left behind in that type of passion, especially when is private... well, not now anymore.

"To live" he stated, "To live, my love..." he grunted and turned around to land on your side and he propped his head on his hand "I'll guide you"

You nodded "alright"

"Alright" he sighed "Come closer"

You did it so your shoulder was touching his chest "Done"

"Now... take those bloody gloves away"

You giggled and saw the short white gloves hiding your palms, you did so and playfully threw them away.

Benedict pursed his lips with a soft smile "This was supposed to be the part I took a peak at you doing it but with those..." he mocked your voice "Pantalettes... you must do it underneath"

"Do what?"

"Just..." he held your right hand and placed it on your belly, the ruffled sound of the pulled skirt making the only noise inside his room "So this hand... goes under that"

"Is your hand coming with me?"

Benedict was cursing inside he was feeling the real pain of not being able to do more now. He swears he could feel some wetness on his member and the look you gave was not helping him more.

"You can do it by yourself, can't you?"

"Of course I can"

"Well then, show me" he whispered. His lips brushed your earlobe and he nipped the shell of your ear. "Let your hand explore under there, go on"

You took a breath and allowed your hand under the cotton. It is not the first time you have explored there you remember. It was a year or perhaps two but the curiosity was definitely covered by fear of touching something that might cause an issue. This time you were curious and your fingers moved slowly, the skin was smooth, and the particular wetness made you frown - a thing Benedict caught completely-

"That is you" he kissed your temple "And all that has the ability to give pleasure"

You kept tracing around and looked to your side catching Benedict close "I thought it was for breeding"

"Don't use that word" he ordered "It does serve to procreate but, there is something you will find down there, it is small, round, and feels like a button, do you feel it?" he saw the bulge of your hand underneath the pantalette

"Feels strange, it does feel round"

"Sometimes very well hidden if you ask me" he bit his tongue, his expertise in the female body should not be trailed by that tone "Touch it, do not push. Graze"

"Hmmm" You were sure you were failing; the sensation was not coming at all "mmm-"

"Remember that day" he said with a deep exhale "when you went with my family to see the spring coming to a bloom?"

"This season?"

"No, last"

"Yes, I remember"

"And you grabbed a rose so desperately and grazed the petal with your finger?"

"I wanted to catch its pigment"

"Graze the same way"

"Graze the same way" you repeated and tried, you really tried, his lips were on your temple, his breath was hot and the warmth was coming to the pit of your stomach. You finally did it and gasped at the sensation.

"There it is" he cooed staring deeply at your dazed eyes.

"Hmmm"

"Keep on going, love" he murmured

You could feel it now, the heat threatening to really make you explode. The thoughts, oh the thoughts were too much. How can your mind split into two? One part is here feeling Benedict's presence and smelling his masculine cologne. And another part is imagining what else is in store for you two with his hands gripping, with his kissing and nibbling. Nibbling.

"Oh" you softly moaned

"That's it" he encouraged you

The heat was there, it was about to come. The tension was rising and the knot was tightening. Your fingers kept their pace, the grazing was not enough anymore, it was becoming a pressured rub and you felt your chest rise with the intake of air and your eyes felt heavy. Rubbing became circling and that was it.

You squirmed and tightened yourself at the explosion of... of... sensations. The sounds from your mouth, the growl from your throat were so unladylike and you loved it. You felt your mind coming and going back to you. Your body was in control now as your chest rose and fell, your back arched and your legs stretched until the muscles ached.

"Oh" you finished the instant with a sudden chest heave and drowsiness owned you for a while that you blinked away seeing Benedict right there with a smile you know he only draws when success is in his mind "what was that?"

"An orgasm" he answered and kissed your cheek "Congratulations"

You laughed and quickly felt the wetness all over you, you previously said it felt clammy but this... this was flooded.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that" he shrugged "Maybe now, yes... but when I come into the picture I'll clean you up good"

"Why should I worry about it now?" you gulped and sat upright "If I can grab a towel and-"

"I was certainly not talking about using a towel" he outright smirked

"Benedict!"

"Yes, dear?"

"No!"

"What?"

"Don't you dare!"

He frowned, "Don't I dare what?" he adorably sat upright and rubbed his face "The things you do to me, woman"

"So..." you took your discarded gloves but didn't put them on "For you is the same? the orgasm?"

"More or less"

"And do you think about me when you do it?"

He stared at the ceiling and sighed "All the bloody time"

"All the bloody time?"

"Every minute, every second, every time"

"How many times a day?"

Benedict looked perplexed at the curiosity "None of your business, Miss Ashbourne"

"It is my business" you winced as you hopped to the floor "If I'm the centre of the illusion... do you rub too?"

"No, I stroke"

You grinned fiercely, the grin of someone who is not up to any good. You looked at your hand and innocently hummed "You know, Mr. Bridgerton..." you licked your palm and heard his gasp

"What are you-"

"Just a taste, just a small one"

Benedict was about to protest but the view was not allowing him to say anything. Why was he going to protest? No, he got a little devil in front of him.

"Can I get a hold?"

"Of what?"

"Of you!"

"N-no...!"

"Why?"

"Because we have plenty of time to do so" he said and watched your expression change "What is the matter?"

"Nothing" you shrugged "Let this stay in history as the day you decided to pleasure yourself one more day while thinking of me"

"Not fair"

"While I offered to make it true"

Benedict rubbed his face again with the thought of wanting you to mix your honey with his member and come undone in front of you but for the sake of the day, you have had a fairly lot of stress that he doesn't want to push you any further than he already did.

"You" he pointed, his arm straight to your playfully all-so-bratty expression "Will pay enormously"

"When?" you eagerly said

"I won't send you an invitation, just be ready because my love... I'll come"

Yes, literally and figuratively.

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chemical-processes · 2 months

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I wish I could say I was eloquent or gracious about receiving nice comments on my writing but unfortunately I do scream like a fainting goat every time

#haha got two rlly sweet comments on vrykolakas back to back and now im out of commission #sorry not to have a big head about it but #they like??? my writing???#amazing #could not be happier with the state of affairs #this is all to say thanks #i appreciate all y'all so much

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dewitty1 · 3 months

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Saturday Six (Stuff)

I'd been feeling severely anxious and depressed about my business being dead, and the thought of having to talk to my parents and ask for help again, but luckily my whinging (an Ad) on Facebook seems to have worked, and I got a nice little customer job. Plus some stuff from my BFF and her family (possibly).( ´͈ ॢꇴ `͈ॢ)･*♡

Plus I'm getting weird customer messages. Always a good time.(⑅ ‘﹃’ )

Leeloo is a cute kitten, but she is seriously a little bit of a terrorist. When I say she gets into everything I mean it. (^・ω・^ )

I do not like having this sinus crud that's going around.(*｀へ´*)

I know both options for the USA presidency are terrible. But one (CHUMP) is more terrible. I'm tired of the argument. I'm gonna stick with the slightly better Grandpa Joe. Not because I love him, because I don't. But because he's the one that'll get us closer to where we need to go. We may take three steps forward and two steps back, but at least we're going in the right direction. Whereas the other guy has no idea where he's going. Maybe towards Vladimir. More likely than you think.( •̀ω•́ )σ

I can't believe I'm going to be five and a half decades old in a little over a month. Jfc. I don't feel that old. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

#Saturday Six #February 24 2024 #About me #Personal #Please do not rebloggle #Carey rambles about life and stuff and things and being really effing depressed and not even kidding about that #And yeah maybe I should go back to therapy but my therapist said I was cured!!?#So annoying #Anyway I'm considering it #But yeah life has been shite these past few months and I've just been sitting here in it #But I'm glad I made the post asking for help on Fb and people stepped up and shared so that was cool #And it seemed to help because I got one project so that helps #Anyway thank you all for reading my nonsensical rambles whenever I post them #I appreciate y'all so much #I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are #Hugsss from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now because I know I need hugsss too٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤💜💙💚💛❤️💗💕💖#Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

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thedeadthree · 1 year

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— TAG GAME.

TAGGED BY the dear @marivenah and @leviiackrman to answer a few questions! ty ty so much love!

TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @jendoe, @kingsroad, @chuckhansen, @risingsh0t, @queennymeria, @denerims, @phillipsgraves, @jillvlntine, @morvaris, @aartyom, @minaharkers, @unholymilf, @leviiackrman, @jacobseed, @arklay, @corvosattano, @jackiesarch, @malefiicarum, @pearlcscent, @shellibisshe, @weisshaupts, @shadowglens, @leondaltons, @adelaidedrubman, @florbelles, @belorage, @confidentandgood, @girlbosselrond, @thee-morrigan, @rosebarsoap, @fragilestorm, @lacunafiction, @noonfaerie and you!

THREE SHIPS: inspired by mari <3!

THREE CANON SHIPS: geralt x yennefer, corlys velaryon x rhaenys targaryen, and arianne martell x daemon sand!

THREE OC SHIPS: iovanna dayne x daemon targaryen, edelgard vanderweyden x reese verner, maekar targaryen x aeryal arvel (carolines dear!)

THREE MUTUALS SHIPS: mo @kingsroad's alyse x aegon (they mean the world to me!), ash @unholymilf's iconic varya x roman (forever the moment!), airika @chuckhansen's nina x adam (the loveliest! they're dear to me!)

FIRST SHIP: oo ok ok i want to say my first ship was I think? rajaion and ena from fire emblem path of radiance? that or? selina kyle/catwoman and bruce wayne!

CURRENTLY CONSUMING: an iced coffee ajanjnsk bc i am a responsible adult <3.

CURRENTLY WATCHING: my 3829838th rewatch of house of the dragon <3 am i surprised? nay nay! its not at all for oc lore! (leg says like a liar jnjanj <3)

LAST MOVIE: the batman! <3 and one i recently adored seeing was bullet train as well! (ty ty orion and ash for introducing me bc of ur ocs u dears u!)

LAST SONG: its been stuck in my head all week! the fruits by paris paloma <3

CURRENTLY READING: rereading fernweh saga by the dear aelsa! and fire and blood by george rr martin <3 (leg once again says its bc they want know more of what’s in store for the characters and not for oc lore at all like a liar <3)

CURRENTLY CRAVING: my mom is making sauce so i have pasta on the brain <3

#only if you want to! 🤍🕊#ahh this was so cute! and lovely to get me back into the swing of things <3 #t: about leg #i would also like to say that all of the ships of my mutuals with their dears are my favorite <3 THEYRE ALL SO GOOD #IYKYK on the fe ship the way ten year old me watching the cutscenes for that game on yt and that scene had me SOBBING #i fully blame my appreciation of tragic/doomed dynamics on them AHH #AND OF COURSEE the one and only duo <3 can cite my brand! my appreciation for enemies/rivals dynamics on them!#(bruce can have two hands for sel and polly bc i said so <3)#AELSA I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO SINCE I READ IT ON RELEASE DAY NEED TO SHRIEK ABOUT FERNWEH I MUST AHH #if y'all haven't yet YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD i mean it was the loveliest read floored and blown AWAY absolutely STUNNED it was so good!#(but im never not floored by ur talent and its a HIGH honor truly to know u and be mutuals AND GET TO SUPPORT AHH)#my friend wrote an if an it was PUBLISHEDD and u all should read it <3 #AND I SAWWW THE DENIAL ROUTE AND THE PIANO CHOICE I DID I DID AND WHEN I TELLU I SHRIEKED AND WAS SOBBING??#ill be sure to be sobbing for eternity! R VERNER U MEAN THE WORLD TO ME and j I need to make a dear for them I HAVE TO #I mean????? just their dynamic with the mc I was on the FLOOR u know? and the nightmare scenes!!!!!! my god! the bestest!#ok ok also like...... new song with PEAK una energy that has been living in the psyche rent free that I found in my rec songs <3 FLOORED #''angel' he calls me does he know that im falling from a precipice that I tripped off long ago?' ->#''your so pure' he says does he know im forsaken? the original sinner but soon you'll know for if im going down I guess ill take you w/ me?#LIKE I COULD RECITE ALL OF IT FOR HER BUT UHHH im fine im fine totally really not at all shrieking about una at all from this <3 #two of the top ships that live in my head rent free that are canon being asoiaf ships <3 AAAND THE OC SHIPS they won this year already <3 #AND I MEAN ALWAYS IN MY HEART ALWAYS ON MY MIND Eddie and reese <3 #ok ok im suuper thinking vanna and daemy may be the first piece? this week ive done a lot of thinking of them and..... they <3 #leg.txt #leg.tagged #MO I CANT WAIT TO CATCH UP ON ITR+R GODD THE WAY THEYRE JUST <3 they mean the world to me!#can't wait to yell about them and be floored by ur writing!!!! VARYA ALWAYS IN MY MIND AND NINA AND ADAM ALWAYS ON MY HEART <3 #listen i read the t*wow preview and? ari x daemy? SO GOOD. (and very excited for caro's dears lilyana x daemy he deserves it! he's lovely!)

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theshadowrealmitself · 1 year

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You chose "with your crew who's eating and talking"

(Read before answering the poll)

You decide to go to your crew that's trying to engage with the Vulcan crewmates while still eating, hoping to act as a social buffer. A couple of them see you approach and start to make room. Within moments you are sitting 5 members of your crew and 3 members of Captain Lek's crew. You look at them and mentally catalogue who's who.

Starting from your left you recognize Yosuke Bosque. A shorter, plump woman who's worked among the stars longer than you've even dreamed of them. Yosuke used to work in those big 'Fleet ships, but a family tragedy brought her to your crew, now more reserved than you heard she used to be but still full of life. She works down in engineering.

David Denzel is the young man on her left, another member of engineering, and also on the shorter side, but he's still a couple inches taller than you. Your ship is his first ship job, and he's proven himself a dedicated worker so far. Only problem you have with him is that he tends to play practical jokes during work hours. You know he'd been disowned, but that's all you or anyone knows, as everyone knows better than to pry.

Across from you is the intimidating figure of Ragnarr Marconi. Normally Ragnarr works on base, but with so many rush orders lately, they've taken up temporary shop on your ship as a much-needed delivery person. Ragnarr stands tall at 6 feet with a murderous looking face, but has the personality of a large dog that doesn't understand it can't fit on laps. You regret not knowing them better as every interaction you've had with them so far has been pleasant.

On Ragnarr's right is Sisay Dema Hathaway a nonbinary nurse with he/they pronouns that has the unfortunate habit of giving everyone their health information as dramatically as possible. Which you would not have guessed from his appearance as everything about him is as average as can be, however, everything and anything is a production with this one. Something you found out the first day you met them as, in the process of telling you your blood sugar was low, they had you convinced you were dying.

And finally, on Ragnar's left, is Lockie Devereaux. Newest permanent worker down in engineering as well, a thin tall person with she/he pronouns, and, you suspect, David's new partner in crime. You don't know Lockie's personality yet, but everywhere David is, there's Lockie.

Every member of your crew has some kind of trauma or backstory for why they've joined your crew, which is the only thing that would drive a person to join, is if they had nothing to go home to. The missions can be long and with little to no excitement to them, and whether you work on the ship or on base, it's years before you see Earth again. It's not the work you do if there's someone at home for you, eagerly awaiting your return. Everyone knows that, but no one pries. If they ever talk about why they're here, it's on their own terms. Hell, even you, their captain, haven't shared your reason with anyone except your First Officer.

You look over at the 3 Vulcan crewmates who you obviously don't know. They're all quietly eating and don't look as though they want to be engaged in conversation. You think you've heard before that on Vulcan it's customary to not converse while eating. If that's true, then they probably aren't appreciating your crew's attempts to be friendly.

Best you can do for them right now is get your crew talking to you so they aren't talking to them while they're still eating. You decide to start with Ragnarr, being that they're right across from you, and with their personality, you're sure the others will hop right in.

"So, Ragnarr..."

#polls #sorry this one is a cop out T^T I wasn't expecting this option to win so my outline was for a different option and wasn't much help T^T #I didn't vote so that I didn't skew the results so I wasn't prepared for the outcome #still hopefully y'all still enjoy this addition #feedback is appreciated!!#It's absolutely fun to get options I'm not expecting #I just. should've kept track of the poll better so that I was more prepared #it's really really funny tho because all options ARE important #but some options are quicker for certain plot points #so it's like watching everyone taking the long way around #which is actually kinda funner #more fun?#I have so much of the mystery stuff set up #all options lead back to the mystery stuff #I'm just not too sure how to get to romance so far #hmmm #thinking once we get a little farther in I'll hold a poll on who to romance just to make sure people actually want romance with the #character I'm thinking of #anyways #star trek #vulcans #humans #choose your own adventure #oh btw got all names from a random name generator so I hope they're okay names

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lookitseddie · 2 years

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as promised, here’s a collection of head canons/just random thoughts that have been chewing away at my brain ever since @sofiaaaaaaaa03 made an innocent little post about their scribe of the gods series and we went completely off the rails about it in the notes

this ended up being much longer than I had expected and is still not as organised as I would have wanted, but it is what it is

anyways, enjoy me rambling about y/n and their antics <3

they hate basically any ancient painting that (for whatever reason) they happen to be in, because the artists never get (insert specific facial feature) right

sometimes looking at their own reflection makes them uncomfortable (’why do I look like that? I don't feel like it. I'm older.’) so they have curtains hung up on every mirror at their place, just in case

but its not like they don't age, its just a slower process. so whenever they notice random physical changes that weren’t there a couple years ago they get all giddy <3

there are certain food items/recipes that are no longer popular or even being made and they used to love them but can't ever taste them again :(

it takes everything they have in them not to correct people who believe a popularly accepted but historically inaccurate fact because answering the “,,,how do you know that?” question get a big awkward

on the other hand, they sometimes straight up refuse to indulge certain knowledge they have of old mysteries/conspiracies so they can be entertained by people’s (mostly steven’s) frustration

either that or they just say wildly incorrect things in a matter-of-fact way, again, leaving people (yes, mostly steven) really fucking confused

“oh yeah, einstien’s moustache was like completely fake, he used to put it on before every public appearance”

“,,,what-”

they for sure say shit like “hey, is that any way to talk to your elders now. hm?” whenever marc makes an even slightly rude remark

“well back in my day-” (referring to the 18th century)

oh you think remembering humiliating things you did 2 months ago is bad? try cringing over things you did in 1907, so much worse

they tell the boys about embarrassing and wacky things khonshu has done over the centuries so the system can use it against him

speaking of which, them judging marc for letting khonshu manipulate him is so much funnier with this context. because not only are they on the same boat, but they’ve been going through it for decades- which is comparatively so much worse- (true clown behaviour on their part)

and because of how much time they’ve spent merely existing, perceiving time is a constant struggle to them

steven: you’ve been working for a while now, mate. how about a break?

y/n: it’s been like 30 minutes, steven. i'm fine.

steven: 6 hours, actually. its been 6 hours

and it doesn’t go as small as just hours or minutes, sometimes they lose track of days. which is what caused the habit of always checking the date first thing in the morning to remind themselves that time is indeed moving at its normal pace; an anxiety that was amplified by spending time in the archives. they’ve lost way more time in there compared to canon

and this time around when they lost 5 years to that goddamned place again, the initial dread didn't last as long, instead replaced by a sense of unfortunate acceptance as they got ready to mold themselves according to the changed world once again

and because of the amount of times they’ve had to break apart and piece themselves together again to fit in, keeping a stable identity is important to them. just to reassure themselves that they are still them, even with how much everything else has changed

maybe they take those online personality quizzes over and over again, making sure to remember themselves and how they act, what they like etc. sure its a bit silly but whatever helps, right?

maybe they even tried joining those ‘post-snap counselling groups’ pretending that they had been snapped so they could talk about how they lost 5 years too, only slightly differently (idk how long that would last though)

on another note, I'd like to think that they’ve been a sort of mentor figure to every avatar that has come and gone. they’re always the one that a new avatar would go to if they needed advice or just general direction, knowing that because of how long y/n has done this, they would most likely have some advice

they also use this to their advantage sometimes when the avatar’s get into a bit of an argument at a meeting. using dialogues such as “you seem to forget I've had 10 times your experience, kid. I think I know better” isn’t something they really enjoy, but it gets the job done and djehuty seems quite entertained when they do it so oh well

SPEAKING OF DJEHUTY

I think the fact that djehuty has kind of been the only constant companion they’ve had throughout the years definitely causes mixed feelings for them, even before they found out they’re being manipulated. just his ever-lasting presence is a form of comfort, though he can be condescending and test y/n’s patience on a regular basis

he has seen his avatar get overwhelmed and breakdown numerous times over their long life, and its not that he doesn't want to help, its that he doesn't know how.

so he’ll sometimes come over and drop a piece of dark chocolate on their head to distract them

y/n: ,,,, the fuck was that??

djehuty: you looked sad

because sure he’s an asshole, but he’s as asshole who tries. I am the leader of the djehuty apologist group, can you tell?

y/n definitely has random flashbacks at time, accompanied by moments of dissociation because their head is filled with way too many memories and wait? has this exact same scenario happened before? was that memory? a dream? just deja vu?? what even is real??

losing their powers in the realm of the duat hit them like a truck. they’ve been able to carry things 5 times their own weight for so long that not being able to easily over power people (or hippos) sent them into instant fight or flight

also the fact that this time around when they died it would be such a cathartic moment??? because they were starting to believe that they would never get to feel the calming sensation of death wash over them (as morbid as that is) and how it must have felt to finally have that?? only to have to go back and choose hundreds of years of servitude once again

but also coming back with a soul this time, their soul, and experiencing what they could only describe as pure fucking euphoria (I still have multiple thoughts on that but that’s for another day)

in conclusion: they’re a mess, but they’re good at being one :)

#I wanted to get this out before my exams consumed me next week so sure this is a bit rushed #don't judge me #anyways kjsahda scribe of the gods makes me feel unknown emotions and this was my way of showing appreciation towards it #hope y'all enjoy #also I will most definitely have more thoughts on this but I doubt they will be coherent enough to post #thats all #gonna go upload a -give y/n a hug- campaign now #they need it #additional thoughts:#I really like how the losing track of time and having moments of severe dissociation helps them relate to the system even more #they're best buds your honour :D #and them having so many mixed feeling about whether or not to go back to djehuty because yeah fuck him. he hurt them #but he's all they've ever had. they have no life without him (or so they feel)

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dewitty1 · 4 months

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Saturday Six (Stuff)

Have not done this in a few weeks, so Happy New Year, y'all. Xmas was OK - only minimal political discussion til mom put the kibosh on that! My New Year's eve and day were also fine.♡*(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡⋆*ೃ:.✧

My Dude (@super-ultra-mega-kami-guru-blog) is back from Colorado, and they had a decent trip, with only slight hiccups, at airports and what not.♡(•ི̛ᴗ•̛)ྀ

Work is effectively dead right now, though I've had a few calls about things. I'm just working on accounting junk, and this week is inventory week. Always a joy.（’-’*)

Winter here is really not acting like winter. We've not had much snow, and it's not really been too cold. That's supposed to change by the end of the week, but who knows.(.﹒︣︿﹒︣.)

Leeloo the menace kitten has caused me to have to unplug my printer, because she's messed up the settings so many times by walking all over it. It doesn't matter really because I don't use it that often. It's just another thing that we've had to do to kitten proof the house.o(^・x・^)o

My disgusting neighbor has caused there to be mice under the house. I'm not happy. I've told my landlord several times about his gross habits that attract mice, other stray cats and dogs, but she never gets serious with him. I'm really fed up. Ugh. ٩(๑`ȏ´๑)۶

#Saturday Six #January six twenty - twenty four #About me #Personal #Please do not rebloggle #Carey rambles about life and stuff and things and ya know it's just trucking along like usual #Finding a mouse on Christmas was very upsetting #But I've dealt with it on my side for now...#Anyway I hope y'all are doing well #Hugsss from mom or just a friend if that's what you need right now - heck knows I need all the hugs I can get! ٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤#I appreciate y'all reading my nonsensical rambles whenever I post them!#Have a great day or night wherever you are!#Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

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totalshockwaves · 1 year

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As ryan ross fan in their mid20s gatekeeper ryan ross seems so funny because I feel us older fans are doing the opposite like we are ryan ross propaganda we will not let his legacy be forgotten

lol yeah the difference between these teen/really young and older fans is funny like older fans really have been out here like fucking ryro's witnesses; missionaries keeping his art alive lol (doing more promo for ryan than anyone else except maybe z lol)

tbf some of these people are "joking" but like..."many a true word is spoken in jest" and you can 100% tell when someone does like 20 posts in a row about having to gatekeep lol. it's pretty typical of teens to be pretentious and gatekeep-y lol (like teen ryan himself was towards pre-mainstream fob lol), so I can't be mad at them, but...dude was the lyricist and guitarist of one of the most popular bands of 2005 to 2009, and arguably one of, if not the most beloved member(s) lol sooooo...

#shut up allie (tag)#legit hilarious the differences lol #as weird as it is seeing 'emo' come back (my teen years getting popular with teens today)#personally im living for the ryrenaissance i love seeing people appreciate ryan ross again and people realizing how talented he was/is #like my love for him was there but was casual for years until the stars aligned to bring back my panic/ryan ross phase lol #and I'm betting with b finally giving up on beating the dead horse so many others are having their dried out love being rehydrated lol #and thats gonna bring new people too! and possibly the demand will cause ry and jon to try and rerelease tyv stuff or even the c&c demos!#personally im also hoping for some east coast show cameos or new music bc ive been in that live music hype recently lol #lol also plz dont think i mean all teen/very young fans so many of y'all are great

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