My horse’s special skill is making instant trail buddies. 

THE MATRIX released 25 years ago today

I love overhearing conversations had by boys that are just not it and giving them the 'look'. Like guys, cop on.

me crying because I don’t feel like I deserve life or anything at all that was given to me and I genuinely want to die, and instead of choosing to acknowledge my mental health issues, i instead say “No time for this, Zolar needs me” and start singing space age bachelor man

Friend: *mocking a girly voice*

Me: “you have a gay voice”

Friend: “you have a gay personality”

Me: “I am gay”

Friend: “…”

Friend: “Wait really?”

i will act as if I'm the epitome of grace and elegance and then trip over something and laugh at myself

Okay so I think Overwatch (junkrat) is rotting my brain a bit but I hear me out!

Rise headcanon: okay, so if Leo looses his arm in the krasnh fight, it’s cause the arm was too fucked up to keep post fight, right? Okay we’ll hear me out! So Leo is the main medic type character of the family? Right? He knows the most about this stuff, right? Okay well hes out, coma, brian damage, just too messed up tk think straight, whatever it doesnt matter! the point is hes out of the picture for medical advice! so his arm is innured but its minor and everyone writes ot off and does their best to takw care of if, but they dont know, they just dont know enough about this stuff, so the injury gets infected, but no one knows, theh dont know what early infection looks likw, or what all rhey need to do, or anything! and the infection gets worse adn worse and worse, until they cant do anything, theyve got to chop it off! Leo tells them they havs fo chop it off!

so now evedyone is sad cauae they thibk its their faukt hws missing an arm and leo is already all self blamey and sad so it evens out!!!

is it just me or do other people pretend they’re making a fit check while walking somewhere too? like today i was walking and my head went like

“oh i thrifted these pants for 2€. oh my shirt? hmm, oh yeah, that’s thrifted too. my shoes are vans and i don’t even remember where i got them haha”

and then i imagined the video of it being uploaded on instagram and going viral and people being angry at me for thrifting clothes because lets be real instagram comments are not it and people saying stuff like “THEY SAID THEY BORROWED THEIR SOCKS FROM THEIR MOM WHAT A LOSER 😡😡” or “why thrift clothes when I can get them from shein for the same price lol”

then i realised it was all just in my head and nothing like that will ever happen and i kept walking. yeah that’s life guys

me when a boy threw himself at my feet today and shouted “i’ve fallen for you”

Me: I don’t REALLY have ADHD… I’m a fake, a fraud, an imposter. I’m actually just suffering from unrealistic cultural expectations on adult women to “do it all” and the demands of late stage capitalism.

Also Me: I just found my credit card after losing it for 7 months. It was in the trunk of my car. Oop, I just lost it again… I’m sure it’s here somewhere…

Teacher showing a classic movie to the class :

Me, already making gay ships for no reason :

the fun thing about getting a comment full of praise on an older fic is that it always makes me want to reread it too and then be like: did little ol’ me really write this???? 🥹

Oh to have the confidence of the woman who ripped ass in the dead silence of an American Sign Language class

Do you guys ever just feel so proud of your friends? Like you look at them, or think of them, or just see them walking around and you’re like:

“see them? That’s my friend. They’re so smart. They’re so funny. They dress great. My friends would kick the shit out of your friends.”