redacted headcanons if they were filipino 🇵🇭

please bear w me and my scattered thoughts😭 also credits to @pandoraroid for the vincent hc it's so real

- when the shaw pack gets together they do the family gathering thing of making the kids have a dance competition for money

- angel doesn't know how to commute (public transportation) and david would have to come along with them on a jeep to help them learn

"davey ikaw pumara para sakin please nahihiya ako" "kaya mo yan, dali lalagpas na tayo oh"

("davey can you make the jeep stop please i'm too shy" "you can do it, cmon we're gonna miss our stop")

- at a jollibee birthday party david would always help the shaw kids win the "bring me game" . that shit is SERIOUS for him i would bet

- milo would overdress all the time  . kahit anong ganap he will be layering IN SPITE of the heat. he'd also be called "estetik" and he HATES IT  .

(estetik: from aesthetic, used to make fun of people who dress up)

*(kahit anong ganap: whatever event there is)

- also, milo and sweetheart ukay-ukay dates perhaps. . . . but i think they'd both get carried away because they'd be blessed by the ukay gods and forget they were ever on a date

(ukay-ukay: secondhand shops in the ph!! mainly clothes)

vincent and lovely  . aircon humor x kanal humor CMAWWNN. the vampire houses alone r so extra and fancy vincent would for sure have the conyo/filipino rich ppl accent too like. 

(vin telling lovely abt his first summit): vin: "ok so inisip ko like, paano ako gaganti kay william during the summit, right? so i decided i was going to show up looking like as the, pinaka-antithesis of what he wants me to look like."

lovely, absorbing nothing of what he just said: "HUY antithesis???????"

(vin: "ok so i thought, how am i gonna get back at william during the summit, right?; ...looking like the (most)antithesis of what he wants me to look like.")

(aircon humor: humor associated with wealthy people, priv school kids, "out of touch" humor

kanal humor: "public school humor" , vulgar and relatable

conyo: someone who speaks filo+english in a pretentious way, mostly due to being raised wealthy . idk they always have that rich ppl accent)

- i can't imagine guy being filipino no matter what i do. however, i think honey is for sure filo (projecting) and they wld have a complete filo friend group  . honey wld still have that gruff exterior but their walls r down, and their friends would joke that honey and guy r the "nonchalant x oa" pairing and guy wld have NO clue what they're all talkin abt.

(oa: over acting, usually used negatively to call someone dramatic, but with the "nonchalant x oa" it's kinda similar to the introvert x extrovert trope)

- when honey brings guy along to hang out w/ their filo friends, he just looks at them mesmerized 90% of the time they're all talking . afterwards, when they ask abt it, guy says that honey is way more expressive when they speak in filipino and he thinks its rlly cute (IDK. I FEEL THIS ONE IN MY BONES .)

- i also have a hc that honey likes to draw so . stem strand/course to art course pipeline baby (many filipinos can relate🔥🔥🔥)

general idea / kinda just a joke but honestly it'd be so hard to allude to being a vamp in the philippines . 

"pag natamaan yung balat ko ng araw, nasusunog ako" "beh nasa pinas ka, lahat tayo nasusunog"

("when the sunlight hits my skin, i start to burn" "beh you're in the philippines, we're all burning")

jake kuya and size kink with like filo conyo dirtytalk 🫣

"tangina ang sikip mo," jake mutters when he slips his fingers in you. you're at his house, visiting under the guise of hanging out with his sister, but really, all you had in mind was finally having jake's cock buried in you.

"k-kuya," you whine, clenching down hard when you feel him curl his fingers against your insides.

"lamon na lamon daliri ko, o. pano pa kaya if it was my cock na, hm? edi nawarak na puke mo."

"please, kuya, i want it," you'd answer, not caring how needy you sound.

"ah, so gusto mo nga? so pathetic, putang-puta ka na ba para sakin?" jake taunts, even adding a third finger in.

"wag ka mag-alala, mamanyakin kita, if that's what you want."

QSMP LANGUAGE DAY‼️ HAVE SOME FILIPINO* TRANSLATIONS NOW THAT OUR LANGUAGE HAS BEEN ADDED :D

*Note: This will be one dialect, which is the most common dialect, Tagalog. People tend to say Tagalog = Filipino, but it's just really the most used dialect

Hi/Hello = Magandang Araw/Umaga/Gabi

We have no informal way of greetings other than just saying Hi or Hello, so we say Good day/Morning/Evening

Until next time = Hanggang sa susunod

No informal or formal way of saying bye other than just saying Bye

The Federation = Ang Federasyon

No direct translation of Federation, we change spellings sometimes of English words to fit

Eggs = Mga Itlog ▪︎ Egg = Itlog

Plural words tend to have "mga" before the noun, we don't usually add s or es at the end

The Code = Ang Kode

Same as above, change of spelling. We don't have c's or some letters in our alphabet so it's ABKD (Ah-Ba-Ka-Da) <- ABCs

Mom = Nanay ▪︎ Dad = Tatay

Child = Anak ▪︎ Grandchild = Apo ▪︎ Sibling = Kapatid ▪︎ Niece/Nephew = Pamangkin

Our language doesn't usually gender words, so daughter or son would just boil down to "anak"

Eldest [Child] = Panganay ▪︎ Youngest [Child] = Bunso

Usually people will address others or kids as "bunso" which is youngest. If we finally get Filo streamers and they call their eggs or other eggs "panganay" or "bunso", there you go!

He/She/They (singular) = Siya ▪︎ They (plural) = Sila

Sure = Sige ▪︎ Yes = Oo ▪︎ No = Hindi ▪︎ Not allowed = Bawal

*Bawal is like saying "you're not allowed". "Bawal kumain" is "You're not allowed to eat"

Gossip = Chika/Chismis

Motherfucker = Putang Ina

Some informal spelling would have it together as "putangina" or slang as "tangina"

Shit/Fuck = Puta

Idiot = Bobo ▪︎ Stupid = Gago ▪︎ Dumb = Tanga

These are slang terms or more rather, insults, for being an idiot. Do this what you will with Foolish's name

Girlfriend/Boyfriend = Kasintahan

Love = Mahal

This can also mean expensive

Duck = Bibe ▪︎ Rabbit = Kuneho

Money = Pera

If you were to say the currency of money, we use Pesos (peh-sos) <- instead of pay-sos

The Island = Ang Isla

We hope you enjoy the Island = Umaasa kami na masiyahan ka sa Isla

For informal use, say "Sana na masiyahan ka sa Isla".

Some Slang:

Sana all = [If] only all

Used when others have something that you want. "Sana all may girlfriend :-(" = "If only [everyone] had a girlfriend :-("

Mamser/s = Ma'am + Sir/s

Slang for addressing all, like ladies and gentleman but in slang

Bading = Gay

Not actual slang translation, but feel free to use this LOL + also a lot of queer filos (me) like to just say bading a lot LMFAO

KKB (Kanyang Kanyang Bayad) = "Pay with your own money"

Used when you're going out with friends and don't treat each other to paid meals. Pay on your own!

Aq = Ako = I

I personally tend to abbreviate ako as "aq" as the pronounciation is sort of the same where the q sounds like "ku" so it sounds like "aku" or ako in an informal setting

Huy/Hoy = Hey

Said usually outside as Huyyyyy or Uy. Huy is like "Heyyyyyy" while Hoy is like "HEY!" (think of it as OI!)

Shet = Shit ▪︎ Pak = Fuck ▪︎ Pakyu = Fuck you

Kyut = Cute

Pa kyut = To be cute, not to be confused with Pak-yu

This is all I could come up with for now, feel free to add more! Hanggang sa susunod! Mwah mwah kis kis

Huyyyyy ang pogi ni Mikkoukun!!!!! 💜💜💜

Gusto ko na mag resign 🥲 kailangan ko lang ng sign! Charizzzzz

Kakapagod na 'tong life na 'to huyyyyy

Hi Jem! Saw your name sa MTLE results. Congrats! 💉

HUYYYYY PANO MO NALAMAN APELYIDO KO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THANK YOU SO MUCH AND YES RMT NA AKO!!!!!

🙈👅

Huyyyyy 😅🤭

Huyyyyy

HUYYYYY ARTU ANLAKE 😩🍑

huyyyyy gusto ko nalang maging pusa pls

kami na 😳🥺💓 huyyyyy ansayaaaaa !!!! i can finally say it she's mineeeeee !!

ok anyway alam mo ba

okay, two-three weeks ago nag start na classes ulit. no problem right? sa school nmin may listahan ng mga students and sections— wala si rizal :( so naisip ko "ah okay, di sya nagenroll dito. baka pumasa sya sa school na gusto nya." which good for him ok i'm happy for him 👍

so then, sa second week (of school di christmas HAHAHAHAHA) alam mo nangyare? pauwi ako dba? pauwi, dinadaanan ko school ni rizal. kasama ko ate ko and two of our friends (of which alam nila crush ko 🥴), nung dumaan ako sa school gate nya, may nakita ako na lalaki..

naisip ko, "hala, parang kilala ko yon?" – tapos nag eye contact kmi. then na realize ko. SYA PALA YON. diko na sya tiningan tapos sinabi ko sa mga kasama ko pauwi 😭😭 nahiya si ate girl

anyway 🥰🥰 kala ko last time kami magkikita sa graduation. aba ha HAHAHHSSHHSHS -rizal lover anon

HUYYYYY KINIKILIG AKO 😭😭 NAGMEET TALAGA KAU AFTER GRADUATION

siguro ano,, ingat na lang at magkaibang school na kau (from experience wahaha)

loe, this is selos anon speaking. thanks for the advice KSVAJGSJSG IM ACTUALLY TALKING TO HER RN ABOUT IT :D its going well ???

HUYYYYY WE CHEERED⁉️⁉️ IPA LECHON NA YAAANN

Huyyyyy saktong 1000 days ako sa Genshin todayyy sksksksk

Carla Bruni x Trauma Therapy

A PL for the soul bleeding in scarlet sins is therapeutic for trauma. 

Last Sunday, dad and I went biking with Vici, my OG boss; my first born, my therapy dog. Dad didn’t like getting up early because he’s in his Netflix deluge era. Since it’s Mother’s Day, I made sure we steer clear of very likely spaces where moms are too many; because Mother’s Day is a trigger for me; and I can vividly see my dad’s sedated self shaken. He dragged his lazy ass off at around 6 am and I stopped him from his Facebook trash content curation routine. Dad has very specific routine and that means giving him about 2 hours to go about his rituals.  While driving to a sedated spot in the South, he asked me to play Moon River. His best version is that of Frank Sinatra. I told him that it’s Louis Armstrong for me on usual days and nights. Of course, we had another bashing session why Frank is better than Louis. We didn’t budge, as always. HOWEVER, since I watched Something In The Rain as recommended by a number of single lady friends, I gave in. Naging laughable song na for me ‘yung Stand By Your Man kasi ano ‘yun? Ako na naman maga-adjust? LOL. So, bigyan ko na ba chance mga XY and XX na sobrang bata para maiba naman? Basta, ‘wag ko lang i-compare sa mga mas advanced sa career and life na mga beings and doings? Anyhow, I really like Carla Bruni because she has a certain style that swims across the usual.  It’s the first time dad heard Carla’s version of Moon River. Sabi niya grabe naman daw version sabay wipe ng pabagsak ng luha while driving. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I told him that Carla is a Venn Diagram of Sitti x KZ  Tandingan x Moira. LELS. Sabi niya, tigil-tigil daw ako. ‘Di raw siya client or stakeholder na kailangan kong kumbinsihin. LOL. Pero, he told me to play it again and then told me to stop the song na kasi mapanakit.  Marketing is part of daily grind. LOL. Trauma Marketing slanted on Trama Therapy to be exact. I shared previously that I ate my shit words when I chose to forgive my dad without him saying sorry out loud when he abandoned me when mother dragon expired. Losing a mom, as dad shared is something he didn’t realize he is NOT prepared for. LOL. Sabi ko is tumigil siya kasi ako, mom expired a year before she turned 60. Ina expired at a really curious age of 88. Doble 8 ‘yan. :D Eternity x 2.  Trauma marketing is more than pain point probing. It’s a mix of nostalgia and core memories dressed to appeal to the aspirations and hidden wishes and fetish of your audience of one. Truth be told, apart from the two universal common grounds, taxes and death, marketing is the material and immaterial ground where your audience of one is slithering in as they try their best to manage their each and every mischief without the Maurader’s Map, The Philosopher’s Stone, The Elder Wand and the most coveted Cloak of Invisibility.  Ever wonder why Pixar’s earlier films like Up, Toy Story, Cars, WALL-E and Inside Out make you tear up while the kids who are watching usually have their mouths wide open and their eye glued? Trauma marketing. Trauma therapy. :D HUY.  LOL. Mag-keynote na ba ako sunod? PAK. Buo na first 100++ words pa lang. CHOZ. Feeling ko! Hahahahahaha. Sige, sa brown bag session season ko na lang para makapag-practice ako. Baka sabihin, masyado naman akong appealing to ad misericordiam pero ganun talaga ang marketing. Wala tayong maggagawa kung ‘di to bump up the numbers using irrefutable truths and let people consume in the name of battling their harshest and sadly, inescapable realities. HUYYYYY. ANO ‘YAN? Ang aga-aga, mhie. ‘Wag gigil. 

I keep going back to my first mentor and his first pasavogue in class, DAY ZERO. Marketing is the moment you wake up until the moment you die. POTA. Siya na talaga magaling. Ateneo x UA&P Dragon’s Lair (eme) x all-boys kasing alpha male na mahilig sa beautiful beings and doings dahil malimit niyang nasi-slip na tumatawid sila sa Maryknoll noong kabataan niya. Gwapong-gwapo sa sarili e.  LOL. HAHAHAHAHAHA. LOL. HAHAHAHAHA. Kaya kung ‘di lang din mas pasavogue sa unang buga niya, bye. CHZ. Ang layo pa nung first 100 words ko. Need to prune para pak. Namiss ko tuloy first mentor ko. Thinking since 2022 H2 na to reach out to her daughter to ask how he is bilang he rarely checks his email, and almost wala siyang digital footprint pero siya ‘yung nag-egg sa akin mag-adver and eventually, mag-digital. Sana this H2 2023, mapush ko na sarili to check on him and his whereabouts.  I realized that ang deep, dark and delicious ng slant ni OG marketing dad ko. Hahahahaha. Ngayon lang din while I am typing this thought fart. Very first world but anchored on the Asian vibe as a Fil-Chi si OG marketing tatay. Also, sobrang swerte ko lang na napansin niya ako sa lahat ng kinanginang case studies and papers ko na siniguro kong A+ or A na walang minus para magkaroon ng runway na maging mentor ko siya bilang wala naman akong connection sa mundo ng elite marketeres noon hanggang ngayon. HAHAHAHAHA. Side Note 1: Mag-Shakey’s nga ako work on weekend para ma-imbibe ko ang kapangyarihan at bertud ni OG marketing tatay. ‘Yung mga pagtatawa niya sa ... pati na sa propenents of PH business management and marketing tulad nina... ayoko na lang mag-name drop kasi baka ma-SS ako. Hahahaha. We don’t do that literal shit gaming. Mag-Google ka if you’re not catching my drift. :D Pero, approve sa kanya si Minyong Ordonez at si Mon Jimenez. HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Side Note 2: Back in practicum days, tawang-tawa ako kay Mon J. Pababa ako ng Pacific Star noon tapos nakasabay ko siya. Syempre, fan girl. Hahahahaha. Kaya todo kaba ko pero RBF. I just smiled a small smile. Then nahulog ‘yung twenty peso-bill niya. Pinulot niya pero ‘di abot kasi mala-Snorlax tummy niya. Tumingin siya sa akin tapos tumawa. Sabi OOPS. Then nag-bend over siya ng slight then naabot na niya. Ganun ang leader. Ganun ang management style. Mhie, owner na ‘yun ng isa sa mga profit-based ad sa Pinas for a good number of years, kaya mhie, ‘wag tayong magmaganda kung wala below minimum ang ganaps mo. HAHAHAHA. Part din ng onboarding nina Mon J noon ‘yung pagkwento ng humble beginnings nila where they actually make calls para sa billings nila tapos todo stress levels kasi nga ‘di biro lalo ‘pag ang mga kalaban mo sa billings are the high and mighty multinational agencies.  Sa kanya ko rin natutunan na it’s okay to make mistakes, to cry like there’s no tomorrow and to fucking fail forward sa bawat Shakey’s with draft beer session namin sa South. Siya rin dahilan why I am unbothered na akala sa akin sugar baby ako kasi narealize ko rin na kahit lagi kaming may specific safe distance bilang tatay-anak nga ang aming connection, wala. Maraming gago at tarantadong akala mo maka-judge, wagas. Kinangina. At kikinang ang inang ito kasi lagot ako kay mother dragon ‘pag hindi. Saka mother dragon-approved si OG Gemini marketing dad as a tadong Taurus na sobrang maka-judge pero napapagpaliwanagan naman at dalisay makaintindi ‘pag kinausap mo na parang pre-school consistently in about a month or so. LOL.  ________ Carla Bruni’s version of Moon River is cutting so deeply that even when I’m not spiraling like crazy, ansakit, bhe. Ansakit talaga. In fact, her melancholic style is really, really breathtaking.  As we went biking that Sunday, wala ang mga bikers. Either iwas sa COVID trap na naman or natakot kasi parang ang lakas ng babagsak na ulan. Actually, dad refused to ride kasi baka nga raw umulan and crazy daw ako. Sabi ko naman, tigil siya kasi puwede namang sumilong. LOL. And ako bahala kay Vici if ever abutin kami ng ulan.  JICYMI or want to indulge in trauma therapy, here’s the link to Carla’s Moon River cover. Also, grabe ‘yung version niya ng The Winner Takes It All. HUY. As a Mamma Mia fan and ABBA (another favorite ng nanay ko) na ‘di nakapanood ng musical at hinintay ang encore ng Mamma Mia sa Manila, mhieeee, ang tinde. :D 

https://open.spotify.com/track/3sICyTPASesVzpfGc1nM2t PS: Searched my OG marketing tatay and nag-message na ako. LOL. Malamang, nakalimutan na naman neto PW neto sa personal email niya and malamang, nagpalit na ‘to ng 0917 OG number niya kaya, tignan natin if he still remembers me. Permission marketing x Shakey’s sa South. Tanong ko next if he is biking tapos padyakikak sesh kami. Ako naman manlibre sa kanya ng draft beer para maiba rin; pero for sure, as a gentleman, hindi na naman siya papayag mag-insist ako. :D Good dayyyyyyy! Let’s friggin’ slay the pests of the blue green ocean because this bitch is off to Juno szn. And will need to keep up because wala e, ‘di tayo good job, ever. LOLOLOLLOLL.  PS2: Lagay ko lang din dito ‘yung isang email exchange namin bilan super busy AF person siya. Minsan, kwento niya sorry daw ‘di siya nakareply kasi nag-meeting siya and immersion sa isang cooperative somewhere. Nagzi-zipline pa ‘to with his wife na sobrang chixxx at her mature age. HIHIHIHIHIHIHI. Loveeet. Ganyan kaming mag-ama. LOL. Amfeee ko na naman. Makapang-asar sa isa’t isa, wagas. Far and few convos pero tagos na tagos. Shet. Naluluha ako. Servant leadership... ‘yan ang core ni OG marketing tatay and hopefully, I can emulate and apply it in my next chapter with NA’s HOW CAN I HELP vibe. :D Sakto, lapit na birthday neto. Humanda siya. :D Humanda siya talaga sa muli naming pagkikita. ‘Wag niya lang idadarang na naman sa social entrep kasi makakatikim siya sa akin ng monologue about 2024 and beyond. ;) Paka-arte talaga netong poised gentleman na gagi rin at his core, always. ‘Pag ‘di niya pa kilala si Brene Brown, bilhan ko siya ng book nun for his character arc development na rin. CHZ.  Malamang matinde rin ang galawan ng SRA booklets niya kasi, mhie, ang galing niya magsulat kahit sobrang tanda na niya. HUHUHUHUHU. Sana all... not. Char.  This reply was long time coming. I was caught up in quite a number of things and I didn't want to bounce off a reply without at least putting some thought to it.  Nakakahiya naman - I was reading a literary gem.   When you get to a certain age, birthdays are something you want to remember less of all celebrate.  Thanks for the kind word ... I could not even remember if I did all of those things.  I just do what I feel should be done - because I feel that it is part of sharing what I little I have.  I'm glad you picked up a few things although I'm not quite sure if I'm exactly the model figure you should emulate.  I have made so many mistakes in my life although a number of them have forged me to be a better and humbler person. It has taught me that the more you want to be in control, the less you are in control.  Faith in the unseen gives you a sense of direction and a firm purpose in life even if you don't have a full grasp of it. That's the irony - by learning to live your life for others, you fulfill and find yourself.  It's a bitter lesson learn - hopefully, in your case not too late in life. Thanks for reminding me I'm getting older, that there's still a few years that can be lived longer and for reminding me that the work is not finish in sharing what little life's riches one has. ! Belated happy birthday - di ka man lang nagpainom.  Ha!ha!  Hope you're getting younger in outlook and zest but mature in term's of taking the punches life throws at you. I'm freer now after last week's winding of my commitments; let's find time with the gang to toast to you year of inching to maturity. Eto naman part nung aking birthday message sa kanya kasi, mhie, ‘wag na. LOL.  As I set foot in the real world, things start to toughen up; but I am confident that, as I fail, I'd be able to make it in time, for I carry a chunk of you in me. To live life with a passion of a kid To find a job I'll enjoy, and worry not about the money To commit mistakes early on To be mature enough to do the things I may not like, but are needed to be done Love, light and shadows in black and white,  B