#HOW MANY OF YOU THOUGHT JOHN CENA WAS THE ROCK?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writers-worst-nightmare · 3 years

Text

Kittens (Keith x reader)

Song you are singing

Warning(s): A TON OF CUSSING, reckless driving, got lazy at the end, Keith loosing one of his lives

THIS IS A REAL LIFE AU WHERE THERE IS NO SPACE OR ANYTHING AND THEY ARE ON EARTH

Fandom: Voltron

Word Count: 1,510

Pairing(s): Keith x reader

Genera: chaotic fluff

A/N: this is basically a Voltron version of “no braincells“ but I added a twist to make things more interesting

Request are always open!

Keith stared at the tiny kittens surrounding him, he froze in place and looked up to you as a plea of help witch was rudely declines when you started snickering before bursting out into laughter. Soon the whole crew joined in on laughing at Keith with a bunch of kittens. Pidge was snapping pictures and uploading it to their Instagram, Lance was recording a tiktok, Shiro was trying to get the cats off of Keith, Hunk was laughing, and you where adding more cats to the pile on his lap. “Y/N DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM!” Shiro scolded. You rolled your eyes before grabbing a small black and white kitten and placing it on Keith’s lap. The crew had decided to meet up after band practice and stay at your house. Little did they all know that you fostered animals, you had a couple of dogs and Birds but you mainly fostered cats cause they look so fucking cute.

“But it fuuunnnn!” You wine, only making Hunk laugh even harder until he was literally on the ground laughing so hard.

“They are kind of cute…” Keith muttered as he stared at the cats and back at you and then back at the cats.

“Why don’t Keith and I go to get some cat stuff at the mall, you three can make yourselves at home by the way!” You called as you dragged Keith into your car and hopped in the drivers side.

“Oh no…” Keith muttered as he stared wide eyed at you starting the car.

“What?”

”Please don’t tell me—“

”Oh, yeah I am driving!”

“LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!”

You locked the car doors and started to drive on there highway. Keith relaxed a bit as he thought that you where going to be normal

Big mistake

As soon as you saw all the muscles sink into the car seat you smirked and pulled up a radio station. Since Keith hasn’t been with you in the car before (for a good reason since everyone that has let you drive a car was gotten sick) he didn’t know that you LOVES music. Probably even more then you loved anime (which was saying something).

The fuck? Hold on Bitches got beef but don't wanna fight me Quit all that barkin', ho, bite me Bitch Hold on

”What the fuck is this?” Keith asked as he started to lean forward before the song started and you higher Ed the volume all the way up

Bitch, you fat, need a tummy tuck (Yep) You dropping diss songs, man, bitch, get your money up (For sure, then)

”It is called ‘go best friend’ and it is awesome” You answered as you rolled down your window and started singing along to the beat of the song and speeding slightly.

If you 'bout it, then run it up Used to be cool with this bitch, but she mad that I'm coming up

Keith hesitated softly before pulling up the lyrics on his phone and starting to sing along slowly. Afraid of what would happen next. You turned right and got on the off-road. Keith stiffened as he has heard one to many times what happens when you go off road and onto the dirt paths that you have most likely made yourself.

You a thot, you gon' suck it up I got a white bitch in the club, wanna pump it up (Woo, woo)

You started speeding even faster the before and Keith was prepared for the worst. Looking for a pencil and a piece of paper before settling on a anime journal that you had and a pen

Fuck a speech, I'ma sum it up $hy on the track and you already know she gonna fuck it up (Ayy, yeah) Bitch need to worry 'bout a bag I'm rocking these shows, and that's why she mad (Aha)

”I am going to give Lance my fuck you energy, Shiro my Hot Topic shirts, Pidge my suicidal thought, Hunk my fuck boy energy, and y/n my outmost hatred.” Keith started to say as he wrote out his will.

“Oh come on I am not that bad of a driver!” You pouted, looking away from the road and staring at Keith. Keith widened his eyes and grabbed the steering wheel so he could drive.

After this diss, you goin' out sad Bitch, you not bougie, you don't got no class (Bitch) Turnt in the booth and I'm piped off that gas Spin on yo' block, then we hitting the dash (Shoot, shoot)

”The last time you said that Pidge ended up in a flicking tree!” Keith argued, holding back the urge to choke you out, you rolled your eyes and elbowed the emo boy out of the way to take control of driving

It's still love for you, though But, bitch, I'm 'bout to get on your ass (Haha)

You started screaming the lyrics and Keith’s heart seemed to be going backwards as he grabbed his phone and gripped it tightly in his hands before button the record button.

$hy gotta potty mouth You wanna talk shit? Bitch, let's talk 'bout your body count You stink, throw your body out Tryna hang wit' the kid, I'm the life of the party now (Yeah)

He stopped the video and sent it to the “why do we still exist?” Group chat that consist of the gang

-character development Sasuke sent a video-

Non-binary owl: WORK IT Y/N YEAAAH

Sapnap but better: oh no…

Panda dude from beastars: have you written your will yet?

-character development Sasuke sent a picture-

Character development Sasuke: already got it written out

Won’t shut up about how bisexual this man is: I GET FUCK YOU ENERGY?!

Sapnap but better: I GET FUCK BOY ENERGY

Non-binary owl: can we all collectively agree to play/sing WAP at Keith’s funeral

Your lil' sister look up to me (Yeah) Bitch, you can't rap and you really not touching me (No) Just like a virgin, lil' bitch, cannot fuck wit' me And I never been pussy, bitch, you know what's up with me (For sure, then)

Won’t shut up about how bisexual this man is: As long as I get to do the dance

Panda dude from beastars: NO ONE IS PLAYING WAP AT ANYONES FUNERAL

Panda dude from beastars: Look Keith you are going to be fine

Why this bitch wanna pop shit? We was just cool, now this bitch wanna act like a opp bitch (The fuck?)

“What happens if I go off the edge…?” You wonder out loud, Keith looks up at you with a panicked expression.

Oh, she mad she can't stop shit Said that my breath stink 'cause I'm spittin' that hot shit (Hot, hot)

“NO Y/N DON’T GO OFF THE EDGE! THIS IS NOT FUCKING MINECRAFT!!” Keith lectured as he tried to roll down the window but silently cried to himself as he realized that you had child’s lock on.

Quit all that barkin', lil' bitch, and come bite me Bitches got beef, but they don't wanna fight me (Wait, wait)

You ignored Keith and smiled up yourself as you almost ran over some ducks

Turnt to my music, but swear they don't like me You got my number, ho, FaceTime, Skype me These hoes wanna be me I'm on your radio, soon I'ma be on your TV John Cena, bitches can't see me (Nope) I'm goin' up, and it's hella fans wanna meet me (Hey, haha)

“WHY DID YOU ALMOST RUN OVER DUCKS?!” Keith screamed as he plastered himself against the window.

Bitches don't get me Bitch, why you hatin? You could've been goin up with me (For sure, then) Spear on the bitch like she Britney You could dissed any bitch, but instead, you gon' pick me (Okay, the fuck?)

You did a wide turn and Keith practically flew in the air, he got up off the floor and cursing the seatbelt for failing to protect him against your ruthless grasp.

Make a bitch wanna hit me (Ayy, ayy) Bitches be cap on my name, the shoe did not fit me (No, it didn't) Show these bitches no pity (Yeah) These bitches wanna be friends, admit it, you miss me (Go)

Keith peered over the dashboard thanks to him now being on the floor and distantly saw the mall “YESSS WE ARE ALMOST THERE!!!!” Keith exclaimed as he got exited ready to leave this hell hole that mortals calls a car

Wrap up the beat like a doobie I don't give a fuck 'bout opinions, you know I'ma do me (Hey, hold on) Bitch, you a gnat, you a groupie Told that lil' bitch it's some snacks, and we pulled up with Scoobies

you lowered the volume to one as you pulled up in the parking lot and slowed down the car before parking somewhere close to the mall. You didn’t even look bothered to the fact of your reckless driving while Keith was looking like a whole tumbleweed fell over and hit him in the rib cage.

#voltron #keith kogane #voltron keith #voltron x reader #keith x reader #🦭 full fic

115 notes · View notes

dazaiscrimes · 3 years

Text

it’s all shits and giggles until it gets serious

I wrote this for all Taurus’ out there but especially @megumifushi

warnings: tooth-rooting fluff, crack, maybe a little ooc of Megumi but I really wanted this to be about him

wc: 1.1k

You would describe your relationship with Megumi to others who asked as an easy-going friendship. Hell, probably the most stable friendship you have ever had. You might even laugh and call it destiny. Megumi and his older sister, Tsumiki, moved into your complex when you were six and he has been a constant in your life ever since. Your mom would always invite them over for dinner, worrying over their lack of a constant adult figure in their lives. Dinners would turn into play dates, then into sleepovers, then into long weekend trips out of town with the family. You had always been closer to Megumi due to the age difference and soon you were best friends. You attended the same grade school and even followed him into middle school.

You were a real two peas in a pod.

Things started to change when you both got to high school, him deciding to go to what he called a religious private school (you would later find out it was Jujutsu High and what he was doing there) and you a school across town. But you never truly lost touch. Sure, it was harder to spend time together consistently, but he made sure that he would come by your family home at least every month to have dinner with you and your family. After Tsumiki was cursed, he broke down and told you everything, about curses, about the Zen’in family, about his technique. You took it all in stride, not once interrupting him and giving him the support he needed. He knew he could come to you after particularly rough battles, and you would patch him up to the best of your ability. You decided to go to university nearby and continued to be the support he would rely on. A few years later, he attends your graduation with your family, buys you a huge bouquet of red roses, embarrasses you in front of all your friends (you even became friends with the whole Jujutsu High crew), and treats you to dinner afterwards.

You find yourself giggling hard as he carries you home, struggling to find a cab at such a later hour, on graduation day no less. Megumi tries his best, carrying your bridal style as you were too stubborn to take off the (decidedly bad decision) 6-inch heels.

“Megumiiiii, I wanna hang out! I beat I can convince Yuji and Maki to arm wrestle again!” you giggled, hot breath tickling his ear. He slight shivers at your how close your mouth is, and you pull away thinking he was uncomfortable with the situation.

“It is 3am, Y/N. We all know Yuji is a baby and he is already in bed. Another time, I promise,” he replies tiredly. The pout you make at his statement honestly gives his heart a little *dabump*. Stop these thoughts immediately, he tries to calm himself.

Eventually, you make it back to your apartment and he suplex’s you onto the bed with a big sigh. “And his name is John Cena, *cue meme music*” you struggle through the laughter. He simply rolls his eyes at you and plops next to you. A few quiet minutes pass and you think he must have passed out until he asks you a question out of the blue.

“You’re a Taurus, right?” he questions you timidly.

You lazily turn your whole body around, facing him. “Mhmm, why?”

“Nothing,” You watch him turn his face away quickly, but not before you notice the faint blush dusting his cheeks.

Throughout your time knowing Megumi, he had always asked some strange questions like this. Your favorite flowers, movies, anime, you name it. He would always surprise you with his knowledge about you, but honestly, you kept the same tabs on him as well. You knew he hated red bell peppers and sweet side dishes, that he tamed his demon dogs at age 6, and that his favorite book genre was nonfiction. If you were to think deeper about it, you would know you loved him. But you pushed those feelings aside, knowing that something between you could never happen. He just was not into you the same way, only seeing you as his “good friend,” which is how he introduced you to all his friends.

You decide to let the question pass, not really thinking that it was out of the ordinary. Another 10 minutes passed by when you feel the bed shift and suddenly, you’re staring into the deep ocean color of his eyes. You can feel his body heat rolling off him in waves, giving you a comfort about also, a tug of the heart. He was untouchable to you. The words that come out of his mouth are not at all what you were expecting.

“Did you know that Taurus and Capricorn’s are highly compatible?” He spits out quickly. “Apparently, they are always on the same wavelength, and find it very easy to understand each other. You know, I really understand you. You are like a rock, uh, solid, unmovable. You are always there for me, loyal. Look, what I am trying to say, is that I think we would be compatible??”

You are stunned by this sudden outburst. Never, and you mean never, has he said so many words so quickly with uncertainty. For all the years you’ve known him, he has been a constant, stoic man, never letting his emotions go unchecked. You feel your jaw drop open, mouth just opening and closing, trying to form a sentence but failing miserably. You feel his stare and he starts to babble more.

“Nobara gave me a crash course on zodiac compatibility and honestly, I didn’t believe in this stuff before but after learning how similar it sounded…” his sentence was suddenly cut off by your lips. His lips were warm, soft, and tasted slightly of ginger. As soon as he processes what was happening, he responds immediately. He gently grabs your face and pulls in closer. His tongue swipes across your lower lip, asking for permission. You gladly accept him further and you feel like bliss.

Eventually, you both must come up for air and end up staring into each other’s eyes for a few moments. You never thought in your wildest dreams that this would be a possibly, that he would reject you all along. But what if he had those same thoughts? Is that why he has waited so long to tell you? His eyes conveyed all the emotion he was not able to say out loud.

I love you.

It had been years since that moment, and it changed everything. You glance down at the wedding band on your finger for a second, reminiscing about the old times. You feel Megumi come up behind you, wrapping his arms securely around your waist.

“What are you thinking about, my love?”

“That time Nobara tricked you into believing zodiac compatibility,” you hear him snort behind you. “I’m glad it worked.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“By the way, how did she convince of this?” You raise your eyebrows at him, daring him to tell a lie.

“She snuck a whole pamphlet into my book and wouldn’t leave me alone until I read it. She even recruited Yuji and Gojo to pester me about it. I hate dealing with people, so I finally gave in,” he sighs. “I hate them, but also, thanks I guess.”

#megumi fushiguro #megumi fanfic #megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro x reader #jjk #jjk fluff #jjk crack #jujutsu kaisen x reader #Jujutsu Kaisen #john cena #reader insert #x reader

97 notes · View notes

praphit · 3 years

Text

F9: What does Absurdity even mean anymore?

Due to COVID, I thought that my last movie theater experience was going to be "Bad Boys For Life". I'm happy to say that if I died today, I would be telling souls in Heaven that "F9" was the last movie I saw on the big screen (I'm sure that films are big talking points in the after life).

There weren't too many people there:

There was a woman coughing in the corner; I barely looked at her. I imagined that COVID was mugging her, and I didn't want to be a witness, and so have COVID come after me next. I'm vaxxed, but still I was thinking of ways to distract COVID, so I could enjoy the film. There was an old couple sitting up front (like REALLY OLD... sitting UP FRONT... Ha! that's awesome). Awesome or not, I was going to point them out if COVID came after me. There were two obese kids sitting a few rows behind me that I could also point out, as well as my friend that I was sitting next to... what?? Look, they would ALL want me to escape, so I could bring my "F9" review to the people!

WHAT??!

Let's not talk about my survival skills, let's talk some Vin & the Fam - that's why we're here!

It took a while for me to remember what was going on:

Dom (Vin), Letty (M. Rod), and their... kid? Oh, right, they have a kid, and they moved on to start a new life together.

Didn't the real mom die or something?? Idk. You've got the British lady from "GOT" still hanging out with Luda and Tyrese.

(they so crazy)

"Hobbs and Shaw" are still gone

(making their own money, cuz bleep family!).

Brian (Paul Walker's character - rip) is apparently, now everyone's babysitter. So, if anyone in this gang, who could die on any of these missions, ever have kids, they can just send them off to Nanny Brian's.

There's a dude named Mr. Nobody who sometimes sends the gang on secret spy missions.

Oh, and people in the gang keep coming back from the dead. Boom! We're caught up with this absurdity. That's actually what I asked for when I got to the movies

"Give me one ticket for Absurdity please."

In this batch of the absurd, we find out that Dom has a brother, and he's John Cena (Jakob).

Charlize Theron is back! That must have been the worst bet that she has ever lost. I consider her to be one of the most underrated and underappreciated actors we've got, but movies like these ain't helping that case.

And who's idea was it to give her that haircut? - part of the bet she lost, I suppose.

It was reported that the gang goes into space (at least two of them do).

Annnnd the X-Men Jet is back!

(it really does look like that - Wolverine included)

Seriously, after the X-Men's last two movies (which were turrrible), I was expecting them to crossover for a fresh start. Why not?? They're a spy team now, that goes to space! - nothing should be off the table.

They're looking for two halves of some... war sphere?? If put back together with some key... idk... John Cena rules the world.

Remember when Vin and the gang were all about street racing, money, survival, and brown booty? - those were simpler times!

But, why discuss the plot? Seriously, why? None of it makes any sense. From Dom and Letty living like Amish people (which is an ending worse than death for action heroes)

to their convoluted explanation for bringing the latest person back from the dead (which reminds me of a married couple, when the husband or wife get caught watching porn, and try to explain that it was just a pop-up that came out of nowhere. The other spouse gulps their glass of wine and plows forward - that was me with this - gulping my soda (with a lil Henny) saying "whatever guys, let's please just move on".

and what's going on with the two brother's is a thin thread at best. AND the villain's motivation...

But, it's foolish to get into that., and take points off. I LOVE THESE MOVIES, but it ain't for the story. Let's grade "F9" by its own standards:

Racing, Action, and Family (they graduated from booty to family):

Racing

They've done the racing in a small city thing before, but this time it's with magnets! - SUPER MAGNETS!

YES!

I loved this! Cars are getting sucked into magnets. They're using them to make people fly away and explode. Which btw, they did my man Francis Ngannou wrong (an mma fighter). There's a fight scene with a giant white dude on top of a speeding vehicle. That giant white dude could have and should have been the role for Francis, instead he's just here to say high, and then blow up. As much as I loved these scenes, they were too quick in some areas. I think if they had slowed some of the magnet stuff down a bit, we could appreciate more what's happening.

Action

M.Rod is legit.

She needs her own franchise. The only action star I enjoyed more than her was Vin, and that's really due to the absurdity of one scene. Do y'all remember the "Civil War" scene when Captain America has one hand on a building and another pulling back a helicopter??

It's the same level of strength needed for what Vin does in some underground chambers. You can see a bit of it in the trailer. He pulls the whole place down, and then, just like in "Civil War", he ends up in the water (but unconscious). Oh, and he does this after beating up like 50 people at once. Ha! I love it! Then, how he is rescued (cuz c'mon, he can't die) is splendidly preposterous, and I mean that is a complimentary way. That scene is perfection.

The only action that bothers me comes from Dom's sister (mia).

She just doesn't sell being a fighter, but whatever. No disrespect... she’s beautiful, but... her hair might weigh more than the rest of her body.

Apparently, the highest trained fighters (agents) in the world (who have GUNS) never trained for a unskilled, unprepared, 110 lb woman in her 40's with a frying pan.

Family & Corona

Tyrese and Luda are always funny, but their act is growing a bit thin. It actually felt like an act this time around. I think it's time to add another black man in the mix; perhaps one who's older than they are... TRACY MORGAN?

Throw an OG in there and it'll freshen things up again. I do like though how Tyrese is starting to suspect that they might be immortals. I think they should test that theory out in the next movie; maybe have Tyrese break the fourth wall, kinda like Deadpool, as he realizes this is just a dumbass movie.

Dom and Letty's kid... terrible. I'm sorry! This is a bias of mine, but kids normally suck at acting. This one is no exception. Just get an older actor to play the young kid. I'm thinking Ryan Reynolds would have been a good choice.

You may be saying "that's absurd!" - I'm glad that y'all can still tell what that word means, cuz I can't.

The rest of the chemistry family magic is great!

Oh, and Cardi is here, but... barely (for like 30 seconds, if that).

No rapping, no wapping, no cursing... kind of a waste of Cardi B, if you ask me.

John Cena aka Jakob with a K!

Meh. JC def has charisma, just not in this movie. He doesn't stand out at all. You know?? - The Rock, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, etc all have a presence about them in this franchise. Cena?! what happened, buddy?

There are certain music artists whom you'd think would have a great personality based off their music and how they dress. But, then you meet them, and you realize that they're just normal bozos like you and I (only rich and famous). And normal bozos like you and I, AT TIMES can be boring. You gotta have some flair if you're not going to have personality. Give my man some pink glittery highlights, a face tat, some vampire teeth, and maybe a chainsaw for his left arm or something.

Grade: Good action. The absurdities were funny. I was entertained! Production was great! BUT it's getting tired, my friends. It's the same formula that I've mentioned and then, like always, they're grilling and drinking Corona's in the sun. After nine movies (with at least two more on the way)... I never thought I'd say this, but it's actually not absurd enough. Wait... I seriously can't believe I just said that.

I need to say that again to know it's real.

This movie wasn't absurd.. enough? ENOUGH. IT WASN'T! They're going to need to step it up for the next two.

They were in space, but not for long. They raced for the most part in regular cars (regular for them). . You only brought ONE person back from the dead??! C'mon! We can do better.

I'm giving it an entertaining C+

I like that we saw different younger Dom's (during flashbacks) through time. I think that the next type of vehicle they bust out should be a DeLorean.

Y'all feel me?? TIME TRAVEL, baby!

Vin and the gang race through time! They can have Tracy Morgan. They'll each have a younger version (or older) of themselves join the group. Cardi B will actually do something this time - maybe turn into a car!

And maybe Cable shows up as they tie it to Marvel.

Think bigger, Vin!

#f9 #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #action movies #movie reviews #marvel #praphit #vin diesel #michelle rodriguez #racing #fast and furious #cardi b

9 notes · View notes

rawiswhore · 3 years

Text

Raven x Fem Reader- "Like A Virgin"

I posted this fanfic in May because of the phrase "May flowers": "if April showers bring May flowers...", there was even an iconic ship known as the Mayflower.

Flowers are considered pure and innocent, and when someone loses their virginity, they become "deflowered".

_____________________________________________________________

Despite that ECW was a wrestling company that featured technical wrestling by the likes of Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero as well as luchador wrestling by Rey Mysterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera, ECW is a wrestling company that mostly will always be remembered for being a hardcore wrestling company where wrestlers bled profusely and got thrown through tables, or in some extreme cases, getting stabbed.

Then again, ECW did stand for Extreme Championship Wrestling.

And one of those wrestlers that used to bleed quite a bit in ECW was Raven, who would play and become the character he'll always be remembered for: a depressed, nihilistic and even sociopathic grunge kid with a troubled childhood.

There've been times where Raven has bladed (which, in wrestling lingo, means to bleed excessively) so much in ECW, he looked like Carrie in that iconic scene where she gets drenched in pig blood when she's awarded prom queen.

You discovered ECW during the mid 1990's and developed a crush on Raven, who was arguably the sexiest man in that company back in 1995.

No, I'm not saying that as a joke, I do think Raven was hot AF during the 90's and even some of the 2000's.

Rob Van Dam didn't join ECW until the year after 1995, Stevie Richards had that tacky mullet that didn't look good on him, and most of the male roster in ECW weren't much to look at.

You remember how when you were in high school and even junior high, your friends telling you how they lost their virginity, and many of them bled when their boyfriend penetrated their cocks in their pussies.

You also just so happen to still be a virgin, despite that you did have a few relationships in junior high, high school and college, but you never quite went all the way.

Most of the guys you had crushes on in school already had girlfriends and weren't interested in you.

Plus, it's a good thing you saved your virginity until college because you wouldn't have gotten pregnant in high school or junior high.

Seeing Raven's handsome face drenched in blood, the fact that you have a crush on him, and you're still a virgin, what if you lost your virginity to him?

You did think long and hard about wanting to lose your virginity to him, a famous professional wrestler.

When you lose your virginity, you can't have it back.

You talked with your friends about it, and they said go for it.

Even they think Raven's pretty cute.

You attended an ECW show during the 90's, sometime after you had seen so many matches where Raven's face is soaked in blood and when Raven was still in that company, though you could've hooked up with him during his time in WCW.

One evening after an ECW show you attended, you were a ringrat that Raven had invited to his hotel room.

Raven luckily didn't have any blood drenched on his face and his hair was dry and thick, just the way you like him.

When you and Raven were in that hotel room together, before he and you could get to fucking, you asked him whether to do it in the bed or shower.

Raven suggested to go wherever you want, but you were worried that if he fucks you in bed and you start bleeding from him jamming his dick in your twat, you'll stain the bed with blood.

Then again, the silky comforters on top of the bed sheets are quite dark colored.

"Raven" you said to him. "Can I confess something to you?"

"Go ahead" he said.

You took a deep breath before confessing something to him about yourself, rolling your eyes to the top of your head, about to confess what you've planned on doing with him.

"I'm a virgin" you admitted after huffing a deep breath, looking at him in the eyes and saying that sternly. "That's why I asked if we should do it in bed or in the shower"

"So you won't get blood on the bed?" he filled in your sentence.

"Mmmmhmmm" you answered, nodding your head.

"Are you underage?" he asked, his face looking puzzled and confused.

"No!" you replied.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm not underage!" you protested. "I've got my ID right here!"

You opened your purse slung on your hip and looked deep inside your purse, pulling out your wallet and opening it up, looking down inside your wallet and pulling out your ID that revealed your birthday, showing off your ID right in front of him.

"That's not a fake ID, is it?" Raven asked.

"It's not" you admitted. "I promise"

"Well, you don't look underage" Raven said.

"I'm not underage" you said to him. "Many people are still virgins when they're adults"

"You've got a good point" he said, nodding his head.

You slid your ID back in your wallet and shut your wallet, putting it back in your purse.

"I've had friends in school tell me about how they lost their virginity" you admitted "And they said how their vaginas bleed when they lost their virginity, and seeing you with your face drenched in blood, plus I have a crush on you"

"You wanted to lose your virginity to me?" he asked.

You nodded your head.

"Have you ever taken any woman's virginity away?" you asked.

"Yep" he admitted, nodding his head.

What if you were a ringrat who was on your period and role played losing your virginity to him?

"Before we...get to fucking" you began "Should we do it with condoms or unprotected?"

"Well, you don't want me to die from AIDS, do you?" he asked. "Or yourself?"

"No" you said. "But many of my friends have told me condoms don't feel good"

"I agree with that" Raven admitted. "They don't feel good for me either"

"Really?" you asked.

He nodded his head.

"Do you have any STD's on you?" you asked.

"Not that I can think of, no" he admitted. "I always get checked. Do you have any?"

"I'm a virgin!" you argued.

You could be lying about how you're a virgin, you could also not be lying.

They say everything has a consequence.

If you have sex unprotected, you'll get pregnant, or worse, an STD.

Some STD's are curable, others are not and can kill you.

But condoms don't feel good.

Though, some religions and people protest and believe that sex should only be for procreation uses, to only make babies, not for pleasure.

Speaking of blood, HIV and AIDS can be contacted through blood, and if you have condomless sex with him while you lose your virginity and blood leaks out of your pussy from him thrusting his dick in your twat, will he or you get AIDS or HIV?

You should've asked a doctor about that before having sex with him.

"I promise, I am a virgin!" you swear, saying it like you meant it.

We'll see about that...

"Can 2 people who don't have STD's still catch AIDS if they have sex together unprotected?" you asked.

"Do I look like a doctor?" he asked, his fingers and hands pointing to himself.

This is something you should ask your doctor, not yourself.

You just really, really hope that you don't catch an STD or worse, AIDS, when you lose your virginity to Raven without a condom on.

"And before we get to doing it" you said. "Birth control or no birth control?"

"Well, do you want to have my baby?" he asked.

Actually, you'd love to have his baby, but he's a wrestler and you're not in a relationship with him.

"I wouldn't mind it" you admitted, grinning naughtily "But I'm not in a relationship with you"

"Then take a birth control pill" he said.

"But what if I get pregnant and have an abortion?" you asked.

"That's your decision" he suggested.

To be honest, you'd love it if you got pregnant with him, but being pregnant isn't all that fun, plus, you're not ready to have a baby with him.

You don't know him and you're not in a relationship with him, so you may as well abort his baby.

However, you made your mind up.

"Hold on" you said, "I'll be in the bathroom"

You got off of the bed and walked to the bathroom, where you grabbed one of the plastic cups and put it under the sink.

Your other hand turned the knob of the sink on until water poured out of the faucet and into that little plastic cup you were holding.

Your eyes were glued to the plastic cup you were holding, watching how much water will fill up that cup.

When you felt like there was enough water in the cup, your other hand turned the knob until the faucet stopped pouring water.

You walked out of the bathroom holding a plastic cup and walked back to the bed, placing that plastic cup filled with water on the nightstand in between the 2 beds in the room.

Your head looked inside your purse again and pulled out a little packet of birth control pills, where you carefully took out one of the pills and stuck your tongue out.

You placed that birth control pill on top of your tongue and managed to balance that pill on your tongue.

Your tongue crawled back in your mouth, still holding onto that pill, and you grabbed the cup of water sitting on the nightstand.

You placed that cup of water to your lips and started gulping that water down, washing away the pill that you had swallowed and gulped down, taking some swigs of water.

When that pill was now traveling down your throat, you placed the cup back on the nightstand.

You placed the packet of birth control pills back into your purse, where you closed your purse and wrapped your fingers around one of the straps, lifting that purse over your head and body and placing that purse next to the bed you and Raven were sitting on.

"So, are you ready?" he asked.

This is the moment.

You're about to lose your virginity.

Not just your virginity, but your virginity to someone famous.

A pretty famous professional wrestler.

While Raven was never the wrestling pop culture icon that Hulk Hogan, the Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin and even John Cena were, he still is somewhat of a wrestling legend and icon.

At least he's not a completely obscure wrestler.

When you lose your virginity, you can never have it back.

You thought about that after Raven asked if you're ready.

"I am" you admitted, nodding your head.

You were really nervous, butterflies flying around in your stomach and your fingers clutching onto his fingers.

"Alright then" Raven said. "I'll be gentle, I promise"

He placed one of his hands on the side of your head, where he pulled you into his face for a kiss.

Your eyes had shut while you leaned your face into his face, your lips locking and slightly puckering in between his lips.

You can't believe it.

You're making out with a pretty famous professional wrestler that eventually would be in the big 5 of wrestling companies in the 90's and 2000's.

You never thought you would ever do something like this, but you are.

Pinch me, I must be dreaming, you thought.

You've been kissed before, and you used to practice making out with your pillows as a teenager, so this isn't something completely new for you.

Raven's eyes had shut when your lips locked in between his.

His lips were soft and smooth, luckily not chapped and cracked.

Thank God you didn't wear any lipstick or even lip gloss, which might've made you look prettier, but you'll end up getting lipstick on his lips when you kiss him.

While you and Raven had your lips attached to each other, his fingers on the side of your face had played and stroked through your hair.

Shouldn't you be the one playing with his hair, not vice versa, since he has such thick, curly hair?

You'll play with his hair later.

Your mouth as well as his mouth opened and closed onto one another, pressing your lips on his.

Since Raven's fingers were behind your head stroking your hair, you raised one of your hands and placed it behind Raven's hair, your hand and fingers burying through his thick, coarse curls.

Your fingers ran through his thick dirty blond hair despite that his hair is rather rough.

Your lips fumbled up to his top lip, where now his upper lip was in between your mouth, you sucked on that lip as well as kissed it.

Raven began to gently put his weight on you, leaning his body onto yours, though he wasn't trying to crush you.

As you lay on the bed, your feet slipped out of your high heels and lifted off of the carpeted floor, your legs now laying on top of the silky comforters and Raven laid on top of you in between your legs.

Though, you prefer it if you lay on top of him, you weigh less than he does.

You can feel his erection protruding through his denim shorts and onto your lap, his cock is growing harder and harder under his shorts.

His denim shorts are feeling tighter on his thighs thanks to his erection.

Sometimes when Raven kissed you, he sunk his teeth into your bottom lip and gently pulled on it, and you didn't mind it.

His mouth sometimes had your bottom or top lip in between his lips, where he sucked on your lip.

Your lips sucked onto his kiss hard, your lips attached to his mouth and sucking in that kiss.

Blood is rushing to and swelling your clitoris, you're getting hornier and hornier while making out with him.

He slipped his tongue into your mouth, his tongue caressing and elevating up the middle of your tongue, luckily he didn't have a tongue ring in.

His tongue was moist, though your mouth and tongue was moist as well, and your tongue proceeded to stroke and caress up his tongue as well.

While you and Raven are making out with each other, one of your hands snuck under his shirt, where your hand felt his torso.

He didn't have a lot of muscle under his torso, but whatever, you're still touching him.

That hand under his shirt began to caress and stroke his torso.

Sometimes, when your hand reached where one of his nipples is, your index finger drew circles on his areola.

Men have sensitive nipples too, and Raven groaned and moaned in between kisses.

Your hand on his chest eventually would roam behind his back, traveling all over his back and feeling his flesh.

He lifted his hand on the side of your face off and snuck his hands under your shirt, behind your back, until his hands and fingers found the clasps of your bra.

His hands grabbed onto the clasps of your bra, where he carefully unattached and separated your bra, your breasts no longer feeling tight from your brassiere.

"Does that feel good?" he murmured close to you, feeling his breath on your face.

"Yeah" you confessed.

Your tits must be aching from being under your bra.

Don't worry, Raven's got the cure for that, not just unhooking your bra.

His hands swerved from your back to your torso, where he slipped his hands under your bra cups, his hands squeezing and fondling your breasts.

His hands were giving your breasts a bit of a massage, playing with them.

You used to rub your nipples sometimes and it feels so good, you want Raven to do more of this to you.

You moaned in his mouth while he squeezed and fondled your tits, thankfully you didn't have PMS and your breasts weren't hard.

"More!" you pleaded in a breathy whisper. "I want more!"

Raven's spent a bit too much time making out with you, so he lifted his head off of your face and buried his face into your neck, where he started kissing you on various parts of your neck.

He smothered his lips on several sides of your neck, your skin in between his lips and mouth.

Sometimes, his teeth would bite a tiny bit of your skin, where he'd suck on your skin, giving you a bright pink hickey that might fade away.

His teeth were like a tiny pinch of your skin, he basically was pinching your neck with your teeth, but it was a bit sharp and he didn't try to hurt you.

Your fingers grabbed a handful of his thick curls, your fingers buried through his hair, although you weren't trying to hurt him when you grabbed onto his hair.

Your eyes were shut and the back of your neck was sunken almost into the pillow you were reclining on, the back of your body attached to the mattress.

You really hope that people next door won't hear you and Raven eventually fucking on this bed.

Raven let a part of your skin on your neck go and made his teeth bite into many different parts of your neck, sucking on your neck.

He's breathing quite heavily while he's biting your neck, you're breathing heavily a bit too.

He didn't bite too hard, but he did bite quite a bit.

You released some breathy moans while Raven nibbled on your skin and sucked it, sometimes letting his breath out while he sucked your neck.

His hands, meanwhile, have switched from fondling your breasts to pinching your nipples, your nipples now in between his fingers.

His fingers tweaked and turned your sensitive nipples, and it felt so good when he did this.

"Ohhhh Raven!" you moaned breathily. "Mmmmmmm!!"

You bit onto your bottom lip, holding back your moans.

"Don't stop!" you whined as he tweaked your nipples. "This feels soooo good!".

Your pussy's getting moist while he tweaks and turns your nipples.

Raven regrets that he didn't caress his hands over your silky bra covered breasts, since that also feels really good too.

When Raven was finished biting into many parts of your neck and making hickeys, he let go of your neck and lifted himself up.

His hands quickly assembled under your bra cups and out of your shirt, only for his hands to grab the bottom of your shirt and lift it all the way above your breasts.

His hands then grasped your bra cups and lifted them up, exposing your erect nipples underneath.

Raven started at your pointy nipples, grinning and licking his top lip.

He dived his head down to your chest until one of your nipples was in his mouth, where he began to suck on that nipple, his hands still holding onto your bra cups.

As he sucked your breast, his lips pressed down on your nipple, eventually his teeth would slightly sink into your nip and gently pull and tug it, stretching it out.

The tip of his tongue also licked vertically up and down your nipple as he sucked it, sometimes he licked it horizontally.

He eventually made the tip of his tongue lick circles on your areola over and over again.

You pulled his head down into your breast with your hand, though you luckily didn't suffocate him when you held his head against your tit.

Chills have been running down your spine while he's doing this to you, you're moaning for him to keep sucking your tits and how good it feels.

He might not be tweaking your nipples, but he's doing something just as good.

He wishes he could caress your body while sucking on one of your breasts.

Raven's hands let go of your bra cups and his hands grasped on your hips, where he began to caress horizontally up and down your hips.

His hands were being gentle while he stroked your body, and one of his hands turned behind your back.

You keep moaning for Raven while he caresses you, and he's murmuring and asking you how good it feels.

He eventually got tired from sucking one of your breasts, so he moved his head over to your other tit, where he sucked that other nipple.

He sucked and licked that nipple like he sucked and licked the previous one, licking horizontally and vertically as well as licking in circles on your areola while he sucked your nipple.

His hand behind your back was cradling and lifting you up from the mattress slightly.

His other hand continued to caress your body, though his hand eventually traveled to your denim shorts and slipped under your shorts.

His fingers could feel your panties under those shorts, so he raised his hand a few inches until his fingers slipped under your panties as well.

His fingers slid down until he felt and touched your vulva, his fingers could feel over your pubic hair.

When the tips of his fingers touched your clit, he began to rub vertically up and down your clitoris, furiously rubbing it, stimulating and tickling it.

You've rubbed your clitoris a few times growing up after discovering masturbation, and Raven's driving you crazy when he rubs your clit.

His mouth is moist, wetting your nipple with his saliva, and sometimes he's gently biting your nipple, tugging and stretching your nipple out.

"Raven!" you gasped and cried out.

His fingers can feel how moist your pussy is, his fingers aren't getting out of place and balance rubbing your clit.

"Don't stop now!" you pleaded, referring to him rubbing your clitoris.

Despite that he's rubbing your clit so much, he's about to do something else to your pussy in general, and not just fucking.

Raven shifted his head away from your breast, where he placed his lips in between your chest and began to slide and brush his lips down the middle of your torso, all the way down to your shorts.

You arched your head back while Raven's lips caressed down your body, your flesh could feel tingles when his lips glided down your torso.

When he reached your shorts, he lifted his hand out of your panties and shorts and pulled his hand off of your back, where he undid your shorts, sliding the button out of the hole and sliding the zipper down.

His fingers grabbed onto the sides of your shorts as well as your panties underneath and pulled them all the way down to your ankles, you could feel the fabric of your denim shorts sliding down your legs.

Once your shorts and panties were down to your ankles, he slid and pulled them across your feet and tossed them both away to the floor.

He could lean his head in between your thighs and eat your pussy out (as well as do what you've planned on doing with him), but your legs won't really be all that spread apart if you have your shorts and panties at your ankles.

He placed his hands on your thighs and spread your thighs apart, where he saw your pure, virginal twat hiding away in there that will be defloured in a few minutes.

His eyes were glued to your vagina, the tip of his tongue licked across his top lip over how ravenous he is over your twat.

He then leaned his face into your pussy and buried his face and head in between your thighs, where his tongue was carefully caressing and stroking up your twat.

His tongue felt the texture of your pussy flaps, his moist tongue helped lubricate your cunt.

So this is what it feels like to have your pussy eaten out, you thought.

His tongue can taste how salty and moist your pussy is, tasting your pussy juices.

His tongue is preparing you for what you came here for, wetting your twat, though you're already getting wet from him having foreplay with you.

His tongue elevated to your clitoris, where the tip of his tongue licked your clit in many different ways.

Sometimes, his tongue licked horizontally across, other times it licked vertically.

He even sometimes let his entire tongue, not just his tip, lick your clitoris.

You keep moaning for him to eat your pussy out, your eyes rolling to the top of your head, your moans breathy and quiet.

As Raven's eating you out in between your legs, his hands are untying the flannel tied around his waist and tossing it away.

After he did that, he unbuttoned his denim shorts and pulled the zipper down, preparing for what comes next.

His hands then grabbed onto the sides of his shorts and pulled them down until his genitals were exposed, his rock hard erection eagerly awaiting to destroy your pussy.

He then pulled himself up from your crotch, where he gently tapped your thigh.

You opened your eyes and looked at him, where his fingers pointed down to his genitals.

Your eyes shifted to his crotch, seeing his hard erection.

Your eyes lit up seeing his cock, you could nearly smile from ear to ear seeing his dick.

He's also circumcised (fun fact: he's Jewish), and you didn't know he had a cut penis.

His hands grabbed onto his shirt and lifted it up his torso and over his head, where he tossed his shirt away.

He then wrapped his fingers around his shaft, his mouth smirking at you.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

You had butterflies in your stomach and your anxiety was increasing.

This is it.

You're about to lose your virginity.

Something you can never have back.

And you're losing your virginity to Raven, a famous professional wrestler.

You took a deep breath and a hard gulp, your hands moving from Raven to grabbing onto the silky comforter.

"Mmmmhmmm" you decided, nodding your head.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah" you confessed.

"I'll be gentle" he promised, saying that calmly like he meant it.

He led his cock towards your pussy hole, where the tip of his penis began to penetrate and enter into your twat.

Your pussy was tight, and soon, his entire erection slid into your pussy hole, stretching your tight walls out.

The pain is so hurtful, your face is clenching and scrunching up and your eyes are tightening, your fingers grabbing onto the silky comforter on top of the bed.

You're trying your best to tolerate the pain, and Raven can see by the look on your face that you're in pain.

You're trying not to wail out while his cock is stretching your pussy walls out.

Man, you're tight, he thought, she really might be a virgin.

His fingers unraveled around his shaft as more and more of his penis entered in your twat.

When his penis was completely inside your pussy, he began to pound your twat with his cock back and forth, his cock stabbing the inside of your pussy.

Blood started spattering on his shaft inside, he's basically murdering your vagina.

Tears could nearly well into your eyes over how much pain you're in with him losing your virginity.

Since Raven as well as you didn't want to get blood on the comforter, his hands grabbed your hips and he rolled and turned you over, until you were sitting and straddling his lap and he was the one lying on the bed this time.

You began riding on Raven's dick this time, he held onto your hips while you rode him.

Despite that he's getting really into fucking your tight little pussy, his eyes can see that your face looks like it's in a lot of pain.

You're wailing and moaning while riding his dick, your wails sound like you're in pain instead of enjoying it.

But, you're trying to savor this discomfort.

His cock is getting bloody from destroying your pussy.

Your shirt and bra are falling down your torso, covering your tits, and you're getting hot under your clothes.

Your hands grabbed onto your top, lifted it over your torso and head and tossed it away, only for your fingers to wrap around your bra straps and furiously pull them down your arms and hands until you toss your bra away.

Now Raven can see your tits bouncing up and down while you ride him.

Raven was giving you such an orgasm when you were having foreplay with him over how good it felt when he sucked, licked and tweaked your nipples and stroked your body, now that orgasm is turning to pain.

Since you took your top and bra off, he could hear you taking your clothes off, so he opened your eyes to see your tits bouncing up and down while you ride him.

His mouth grinned looking at your breasts bouncing, this might make him cum pretty soon.

The bed is squeaking and creaking while you ride him, though it was creaking a bit when he thrust himself as you lay down on the bed.

Raven just wants to cum pretty soon so you won't have to be in so much pain and discomfort, though men do cum before women do.

You've worn tampons before, that have really hurt when you tried putting them up your pussy before you lost your virginity, so you shouldn't be too upset over this.

Although, you have a hard, thick cock stretching your pussy walls out and breaking your hymen, popping your cherry.

Man, what it wouldn't give to have Raven drenched in your virginal blood.

Raven also did his part in fucking you, where sometimes he lifted his lap and pelvis up from the mattress and thrust himself into your pussy.

His cock is getting drenched in your blood, and not your menstrual blood, mind you.

Eventually, Raven jizzed inside your twat, his eyes shutting tight when he had came and he groaned a gravelly, throaty groan as he came.

His seed was filling up the inside of your pussy, but you won't get pregnant, hopefully.

Despite that he came, you haven't orgasmed yet.

Though, should you?

Hmmmm...

"Hey" Raven said a few minutes after he came. "Y'still wanna fuck?"

He raised his voice so you can hear him.

"I'd rather not" you confessed.

Really, it hurts. A lot.

He then lifted and pulled you off of his lap, where his cock slid out of your twat, his cock now a gooey mixture of cum and blood.

Your pussy hole was oozing a mixture of jizz and blood, and you grabbed your purse quickly and looked inside, digging around until your eyes found a tampon.

You brought that tampon with you after he took your virginity away, since your pussy is leaking blood.

You lifted that tampon out of your purse and took it out of the plastic case, where, with your legs spread wide open, you inserted and slid that tampon into your twat hole, until it was all the way inside your pussy hole except for a little string hanging out.

Besides having a tampon up your pussy, your eyes were looking around the hotel room for your panties, until you caught them, where you rushed over to where your panties were and picked them up, where you spread your panties down on the other bed until your pantyline exposed.

You grabbed your purse again and pulled out a maxi pad, where you furiously unwrapped the plastic wrap and attached the pad to your pantyline until it stuck, unwrapping the wings of the pad and wrapping around the corner of your pantyline.

"Why are you doing that?" Raven asked.

"I'm afraid if I wear a tampon after I lost my virginity, it might fall out" you confessed. "So I brought a spare pad with me"

Raven nodded his head, smiling and grinning at you.

You weren't really on your period when he fucked you, considering his tongue was eating out your twat and he didn't taste any blood, plus, he didn't get any blood on his fingers when he rubbed your clit, so you really did lose your virginity to him.

You'd love to suck on Raven's cock, but it's drenched in blood now, which he can wash off, but whatever.

And now you're a changed woman.

You're no longer a virgin.

And you lost your virginity to a pretty famous professional wrestler.

A few days after you lost your virginity to him, you told your friends how you finally lost your virginity, and not only that, but to Raven, a famous pro wrestler.

They couldn't believe you and thought you were lying, but you showed them your ECW ticket for proof.

Eventually, you became a ringrat for Raven, and not just him, but Rob Van Dam, Brian Pillman, Stevie Ricahrds, Nova, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, and anyone else in ECW you thought was sexy.

When Raven crossed over to WCW, you were a ringrat for him as well as other pro wrestlers from that company, and you even did it with a few WWF wrestlers as well.

Not only has Raven been in the big 5 of wrestling companies in the 90's and 2000's (the WWF/E, WCW, ECW, TNA and Ring of Honor), you've slept with wrestlers in the big 5 of those wrestling companies.

_____________________________________________________________

Dean Ambrose used to bleed profusely when he was in CZW (though he still bleeds quite a bit over in AEW).

If this fanfic was set during Dean/Jon's CZW days where the fem reader lost her virginity to him because he bled so much, I'm sure this fanfic would get a lot of likes and reblogs.

#raven #ecw #90s #fanfiction

15 notes · View notes

glapplebloom · 3 years

Photo

As you can tell, this will mostly focus on my side.

Let’s start off with a clarification: No, I did research Reverse Flash. Liam Swan did. I don’t know why I got credited for it (probably because I did Iron Man and they forgot to change the researcher). But no, I did not look into Reverse Flash.

So let’s get two things out of the way first: Why did I not scale Macho Man to the Undertaker. Well, for televised matches the Macho Man never defeated the Undertaker. Opponents that the Undertaker defeated like Yokozuna Macho Man only beaten once. And while I was comfortable of scaling him to Hogan, he doesn’t come close to the opponents the Undertaker has fought. Undertaker has beaten Hogan more than Hogan did and let us not forget what Brock Lesnar did to Hogan. Sadly, Taker is like Darkseid in Wrestling. He’s the top dog that only a few can say scale.

So how did I researched this? Well, using my knowledge of wrestling as well as a website that tracks statistics, I researched key events of wrestling, funny moments from all over the place in the wrestling world, and of course looked at many of the Slim Jim Commercials. I also looked at many of the roles Macho Man had as an actor. After all, no matter the role he’s playing Macho Man.

I thought a good number of feats would come from the Rock N’ Wrestling cartoon. After all, its a cartoon so they can do so many cartoony things. To my surprise they didn’t really do much. The most impressive feat I’ve seen is Captain Lou throwing Mean Gene to the top of the Statue of Liberty while they were somewhere in the city. And FYI, the live action segments were more entertaining than the cartoons.

Speaking of cartoons, I’ve saw the Hanna Barbera Crossovers, including seeing the Flintstones one for the first time. My favorites of the Bunch of are the Scooby Doo ones. And they also happen to contain the Miz in them. Coincidence? Probably not.

Rasslor was basically Macho Man from space, so I used him in my scaling process as well. Which means I can use the fact he beaten up every Justice Friends and Monkey to my advantage. Sadly, since Monkey had difficulty fighting Barbequor and had to use a spoon from the Silver Spooner to make him throw up, I got at least planetary destruction.

Did you know there was a He-Man/WWE crossover? He was Man at Arms, so he didn’t get a whole lot out of it other than armor and weapons.

I also looked into the WWE Cartoons made for the network (before moving to the Peacock). My favorite of the bunch was from WWE Storytime, where the people at Lowbrow Studios animated various wrestling stories. My favorite episode came from Season 3 Episode 4. Paul Hayman tells a story about when he was managing Ric Rude. I think that was the best story.

AEW didn’t have much going for feats. Its great for wrestling but not for wanting wacky stuff. But I did mention the ring explosion. I also was sure to mention many highlights from Chikara. I also found out he was on Family Feud to represent the Forces of Good against the Alliance of Evil. They lost 2 to 3.

So should wrestlers come back to WWE? I would like to think so. With the Rock, Hulk Hogan and John Cena you could put them in using roles from their movies. The Undertaker has a ton of stuff from the Chaos Comics that would make him a totally different beast than what you saw here. And of course, Cactus Jack (Mick Foley) Vs Negan from Walking Dead is one I am pushing because Negan got his gimmick from him. The next time you’ll see me with this, it will be with Akuma an his opponent.

AFTER THE RELEASE

Why no Brawlhalla mention? - To me, that was more of a skin. And I wanted to bring something that had the soul of Macho Man, not just the body. And if anything with just the look of Macho counted, I would have to look at that certain South Park Episode.

Why weren’t any Commentator Feats included? - Commentary tends to say a lot of things during commentary. Like how Heel Commentators tend to overplay the Heel as a good guy, Face Commentators tend to oversell what a Face can do despite evidence otherwise. And as Botchmania showed, the commentators are fallible. So I use feats with video evidence.

I want to get into Wrestling, what would you recommend? - Honestly, just watch any wrestling you have access too. WWE is on Monday, Tuesday and Friday Nights. AEW is usually on Wednesdays and Fridays. There are numerous streaming sites containing numerous wrestling matches. The WWE Network is included with Peacock. Other wrestling shows on other nights. Today is the best generation to just jump into anything and watch.

But if you have to show a match? - Stonecold Vs Bret Hart at Wrestlemania 13. Its a brutal match that shows the drama and storytelling you can find in wrestling. This also includes a double turn.

#other

1 note · View note

emblem-333 · 4 years

Text

What-If The Rock Never Came Back?

The WWE after the unfortunate retirement of superstar, and champion Edge, was a baron wasteland shallow on talent. Arguably, a worse roster than the first couple of years post-Hulk Hogan in the mid-1990’s. Where at least then creative was willing to take risks and search for new guys to be that top Babyface, WWE didn’t feel the need to do that and instead relied heavily on John Cena and Randy Orton, and called in favors whenever they felt it necessary.

Chris Jericho, Kevin Nash, Triple H, The Undertaker dragged out of retirement with mixed results. Though Jericho was successful, the company pushed their chips in the middle of the table for the pasty Irishmen Shaemus. A wrestler who makes Roman Reigns look awesome in comparison. To put it bluntly, Shaemus was disgusting.

This era seemed all too hapless. Alberto Del Rio, a decent heel, talented wrestler won the Royal Rumble and faced the champion Edge in the third match on the WrestleMania card. Before 2006, winning the rumble meant you would main event WrestleMania. But, like all things, corporate meddling ruins a perfectly good thing for no good reason. If Vince McMahon doesn’t believe Del Rio to be main event material, then put somebody else over at the event. Nobody overthinks and under-thinks likes the WWE.

If there’s one thing WWE did right it was how they told the three-year story of John Cena and his feud with returning superstar The Rock. Starting off at WrestleMania 27, Cena gunning for The Miz’ WWE Championship. Though creative did allow Rock to bury both Miz and Cena, it is an otherwise small blemish on a well told, large scale story.

Miz deserves credit for getting himself over. His name is stupid. He has a very punchable face. His brash, egotistical demeanor built him up to status of champion. His fame from the Reality TV show MTV’s The Real World: Back to New York shotgunned him to stardom. He started appearing on Jimmy Fallon’s show and for the first time in a while WWE had an organic star. Cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase on Randy Orton on a November 22nd episode of Raw after Orton defended against Wade Barrett.

Heading into ‘Mania, Miz was 133 days into what’ll end up as a 160 day title reign. Rock overseeing the festivities foreshadowed the larger tale in its beginning stages. The Miz retained twice that night. Once on a count-out, the other when Rock intervened and Rock Bottomed Cena from behind. The Miz left still the champion. But with Rock standing above his lifeless body after taking a devastating Spinebuster, followed by a People’s Elbow, the Miz’ push was effectively over as we transitioned wholly into the Rock-Cena feud.

Outside of The Miz, WWE didn’t really bulldoze anyone while building to their “Once in a lifetime” fantasy match. In fact, someone else rose to prominence during all of this. C.M Punk. The C.M stands for many things. Chick Magnet. Chicago Made. Punk dallied around in the second tier of WWE contending for the World Heavyweight Championship strap. Gaining wins over the likes of The Undertaker, Jeff and Matt Hardy, and Batista.

His intel gimmick was promoting his “Straight Edge” persona. Normally an Atheist, Punk portrayed himself as a cult leader absolving troublemakers of their sins. Wrapped around his fists is tape with big X’s on each hand. This is what club bouncers would do to underaged club attendants to notify bartenders not to drink. On his knuckles “Drug” and “Free” are tattooed. Punk lived this gimmick and cranked it up to 11.

Eventually, Punk’s gimmick ran out of steam and he was forced to go back to the drawing board. With his contract set to expire after 2011’s Money in the Bank, Punk was set to square up against champion Cena. In effort to juxtapose himself with the usually straight laced Cena, Punk decided to incorporate his real-life frustrations with WWE’s creative into a promo one night on Raw. Promising to take the belt with him out of the WWE showing no intentions of re-signing. Punk mentioned that Hulk Hogan, Rock, and Cena was good for was kissing Vince McMahon’s ass. He derided the fans for their superficiality. Harangued the McMahon Family for their stupidity. Punk wasn’t just an average run of the mill heel to be beaten. Punk portrayed himself as someone with a purpose.

How this was all packaged felt so unnatural fans actually believed Punk was leaving the WWE whether he won or lost. That even if he did win, he’d just leave as champion. With special guest referee Triple H watching, Punk defeated Cena (though Cena clearly had his foot on the ropes rendering the pin nullified, HHH didn’t see it) and absconded with the belt never to return...

He’d be back in eight days.

The new champion was fan favorite Rey Mysterio. A 5-foot, 6 inch Mexican luchador. His only main title was his brief reign as World Heavyweight Champion years ago. Just as fast Rey rose to the top he found himself in the mid card. Still, after defeating a lukewarm The Miz in a meh match the crowd become unglued. Their masked hero was given the push he deserved. Though it wasn’t on the grandest of stages it didn’t matter.

In less than an hour Cena would take the belt back from Rey.

One word: Bastards.

Why act like you’re giving the fans something they desperately wanted only to take it away so fast? Having Rey as champion meant nothing. He didn’t even hold it for a week.

Anyways, Cena is champion only to again fall to Punk at a match for Summerslam. Within minutes, Money in the Bank winner Del Rio would cash-in his briefcase and win the belt for himself. Del Rio was in the tournament Mysterio won for Punk’s vacant belt. He lost to Kofi Kingston in the first round. I understand why you can’t have a heel vs heel match for the championship, but of all the people to get one over on the conniving Punk why does it have to be the uninspiring Del Rio?

This was basically done to get Cena out of the title picture so he could let Rock go over at ‘Mania. Why does Rock need to win at ‘Mania you ask? Because we need a reason to do this again the next year. Why do we need to this same match again next year? Because fuck you.

Punk entered WrestleMania the champ, winning the strap back from Del Rio at Survivor Series. Punk would go on to hold the belt for 442. A returning Chris Jericho came in second in the Royal Rumble and earned himself a title shot, losing by submission. This was the highest profile win for Punk during his long reign.

Punk’s title reign came to an end at the hands of The Rock at the Royal Rumble to set up a rematch with Cena. While the first Cena-Rock match did gangbusters at the box office was well received critically, the second incarnation fell flat. We can’t really blame WWE for chasing the cash. That’s their prerogative as a corporation.

But say we lived in a perfect world? What-if Rock simply never came back?

Well, WrestleMania 27 goes down as perhaps the biggest disaster in the companies history since WrestleMania 9. That card was severely lacking in star power which is exactly why The Rock was needed to host. The top heel going into the event was a mysterious G.M who only made their presence known via email from a laptop next to the announce table.

WrestleMania 28, Cena likely goes into the PPV the challenger to face the champion Punk. Royal Rumble winner Shaemus (yuck) sadly beats World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds.

The biggest loser is Jericho. Given absolutely nothing to do, despite being incredibly talented and superior to Shaemus. In our timeline, Jericho earned his title shot by winning a Ten Man Battle Royal on Raw. That definitely doesn’t happen. WWE was pushing Shaemus HARD. In my perfect world, Jericho and Bryan have a show higher up on the card with the young heel Bryan going over.

But, as we’ve previously established. The WWE run by a bunch of talentless, thoughtless bastards who wage constant war with the people they are supposed to try and get money from.

For my preferred scenario, Bryan going over even with the secondary belt probably placates his rapid fans for at least a few more years.

Cena likely goes over Punk clean as a whistle after losing (via shenanigans) twice before.

From simply making The Rock disappear we’ve cost the WWE millions, elevated Bryan, and destroyed Punk’s illustrious lengthy title reign.

The second year of this scenario, instead of a “Worst Year of Cena’s Life” shtick, perhaps we’re treated to his best year. He main events every PPV, successfully defends his title beating back various heels. Cena’s title reign is unspectacular outside of the walls of WWE.

Okay, on second thought... Punk retains. He retains versus Cena, Jericho, Kane, Ryback, Orton, simply runs through the roster. At the Royal Rumble with no Rock to push Punk down a peg he retains heading into WrestleMania 29. The only hurdle he hasn’t overcome is The Undertaker and his WrestleMania Streak of 20-0.

Does Punk end The Streak? Should he? Oh, hell no! Punk probably had one foot out the door by then for a multitude of understandable reasons. Regardless, the money in this universe is pitting Streak vs Streak.

Our good friend Daniel, his reign eventually ends, but he isn’t shuffled so far down the card so his epic, long-standing push culminating in his crowning achievement in WrestleMania 30 is pushed back a year or two. Maybe in WrestleMania 31 it’s Bryan in Seth Rollins place cashing in his MITB briefcase mid-match to steal the World Heavyweight Championship from under Brock Lesnar and Roman Reign’s noses.

0 notes

postpunkpontypandyphantomthief · 5 years

Text

10th Comedy Monologue

(Note: this monologue is in a slightly different style than the others it’s more deadpan and about breaking the fourth wall than it is about pop culture references)

So, How are you all finding World War Tea?

If you don’t know what I mean, basically the beauty community on Youtube has exploded and

Hang on that’s a bit too niche for my audience...I mean I don’t know what you're into

You could be a critic looking to see what the new performers are offering in the world of comedy

You could just be someone interested in the genre wondering what jokes I’m going to conjure

I mean what features are there that I could poke fun at,

Before I got interested in doing this as a hobby, people would say

“I wouldn’t be able to handle it”

but I’m used to people laughing at me

Despite this, I never really got my family’s sense of humour

I might like the old greats like Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy and the Pythons

But my sense of humour is very different than that of my family.

Mine is a lot darker

I laugh at some public information films and jokes about some of the ugly aspects of life

They laugh at...Mrs Browns Boys, Michael McIntyre and other things that I don’t find funny

What’s the point in these references, are they genuine questions and opinions or just observations for the audience?

I’m a 2000s kid so I must have material about my days as a One Direction fan but back then I wasn’t even open about being one, I could joke about my anime days but they were mildly problematic and cringy, I could joke about my childhood but half the time I sound whingy

I watched a lot of 80s cartoons as a kid but I already referenced them before so I did

I’ve been through almost every phase imaginable.

I read Jacqueline Wilson and Horrid Henry books, I played with teenage mutant ninja turtle toys and Bratz dolls, I like Video games, Drag Queens, Japanese animation, Films, Musicals, Pokemon, Youtube videos, Emo Music, The Sims, Sherlock and many other things

I was not a popular kid who went to clubs or pubs but I wasn’t always a complete loner either

I was in between, sometimes I want to be energetic and loud and other times I’m chill and I barely make a sound

Despite being at times a total clown

I never really thought of myself as a class clown, half the time even if I was happy I’d just have a neutral frown

Right, ok I know I’m a poet, but I need to cut the rhyming, I’m not Bob Dylan or Pete Doherty

I do love performing, but I only do that part-time, I used to do a course for it but not anymore

Although there are the odd few good memories and the friends I have from there whom I adore

There were some fun times, we’d do improv games, we’d reference memes, it was a blast

This was around the time I was getting more into British Comedy, watching shows like Peep Show, The Young Ones and the Two Ronnies.

While It took time for me to break free from my shy shell, I did enjoy spending time with my fellow performers and getting to know them well

Sometimes my jokes worked other times they didn’t….but there was one time

Now, I’m usually not one for double entendres even if I at times have the habit of making them unintentionally

Me and one of my mates were joking around, as usual, he was making a joke about being a knob, so I said……….”Bet you like it hard then”

Then there was just complete silence….I thought I had done something wrong, I hadn’t it’s just usually with his jokes he would always know how to respond but with this one there was no response just…… Radio static

Wow, …...but I’m not the only one, one time when my mum was talking about McDonald's

Guess what she said instead….Dicky Me’s

Ok!,

You Know sometimes it’s like

I'm a mouse

I'm short

I have small hands

And I like cheese

Speaking of famous cheeses, did you know that John Cleese’s dad, Reginald, his surname was originally cheese but he changed it because it was too embarrassing

And we all know to air out your dirty laundry is quite embarrassing too

This bad joke is sticking out, like a dead parrot

You, know when you think about it there’s a lot of famous Johns aren’t there?

With all the showbiz icons

Whether they be legends or morons

All have the name, John

There’s Lil Jon

John Lennon,

Lydon, Legend

John Deacon

Green, Cena,

Travolta, McCain,

Mulaney

the Dead Kennedys

Majors, Candy

Goodman,

Wayne, Williams

Take Me Home Country Roads~

Rhys Meyers playing copycat bowie

And Jonathan Van Ness

Don’t you forget it, Henny

(stops singing)

(attempts impersonation)

My Name is Michael Caine

And I like to complain

Now I've never really understood the point of using "snowflake" as an insult because doesn't each snowflake look different?

What about Film?

There’s Elton John’s biopic, live-action Aladdin and Pikachu being voiced by Deadpool

Interesting choices,

I recently watched a film called Velvet Goldmine

It’s a pseudo-David bowie biopic because they don’t use their real names

Instead of Bowie and Iggy Pop

It’s Brian Slade and Curt Wild

It’s a lovely tribute to the glam rock culture of the 70s

Even if Bowie attempted to sue the producers because of how accurate the main character was

It’s made me realise

That glam rock subculture needs a revival

We still have Goth, Punk, Alternative and Ska

But not rock and roll with lipstick on

Well that’s what John Lennon called it

I want to wear big coats, scarves and big boots and listen to 70s/80s music

and wear colourful wigs and paint my nails and reenact music videos and host parties

The era of Bryan Ferry and Marc Bolan isn’t as bright as it used to be

I’m just a 21st Century Boy~

#comedy monologue #original monologue

5 notes · View notes

briangroth27 · 5 years

Text

Bumblebee Review

Bumblebee is a genuinely fun, kind-hearted family film and it’s very likely the best of the Transformers franchise. I still enjoy the first Transformers, didn’t like the second or third, and never bothered seeing the fourth or fifth, so I can’t be a true judge, but based on what I’ve read about the latter two I’m not planning on catching up. I also wasn’t expecting much from this film given how the franchise has gone, but I came away pleasantly surprised! Bumblebee tells a refreshingly focused and simple story about the friendship forged between the titular Autobot and Charlie Watson (Hailee Steinfeld).

Full Spoilers…

The movie starts off with a bombastic and frantic escape staged by the Autobot rebellion back on Cybertron, and while the action here (and throughout the movie) is cleanly and clearly shot—as I’ve seen noted elsewhere online, a nice change of pace from the other films in the franchise—I can’t say that I’m invested in the Autobot/Decepticon war at all. I’m all for a good ol’ “overthrow the fascist, freedom-oppressing evil empire” story, but this particular conflict just doesn’t hit the right notes for me for some reason. I don’t really know how the movies can fix that at this point (maybe more focus on showing, not telling?). Likewise, the movies haven’t made me a fan of any of the Transformer characters besides Bumblebee (Dylan O’Brien). Maybe that’s because of a lack of nostalgic recognition on my part—I’ve seen a handful of the original series episodes and the animated movie—but my main (and favorite) Transformers point of reference is the Beast Wars CGI cartoon from the 90s (Transformers Prime was also good, but didn’t stick with me in the way Beast Wars has). I think my lack of connection with most of the Transformers is also definitely due to the fact that Bee is the one who gets to bond with the humans most in the films, so I’m much more attached to him than Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) or the others. I know a lot of fans have argued that the humans take up too much focus in these films, but Charlie and Bee (and Sam and Bee in the first one) bonding goes a long way towards humanizing and endearing these aliens. Besides, even in the vast majority of the cartoons, humans played a role.

In Bumblebee, I wish Bee got a chance to show more personality before he lost his voice. B-127 is certainly noble and heroic, but that seemed to be all there was to him at first. The more sheepish, injured version of Bee displays many more volumes of character (maybe because that’s when he gets to interact with Charlie?). I don’t believe for a second that trauma or tragedy makes characters inherently deeper or more interesting/engaging than happy/heroic ones , but because of what little we see of Bee before his voice box is (horrifically) ripped out, the temporary removal of his heroic veneer does a lot to expose other aspects of his character. In any case, Bee’s arc back to his ability to communicate and to reclaim his heroic mantle is solid and his recovery story was very well-told (pairing nicely with Charlie’s own recovery from loss). I also like that this film franchise, if nothing else, has never fallen for the idea that the most popular character (Bumblebee) needs to also be the leader of the Transformers. Not only is that a unique position, but in a way it puts him on the level of the kids he most closely bonds with. They aren’t the “leaders” in their lives either (that would be their parents/authority figures).

Charlie Watson was very likable and Steinfeld did a great job carrying the human side of the movie, perfectly balancing Charlie’s urge to get out and live her life vs. her resistance to change in her family and the dark cloud hanging over her. Her being a mechanic played well with a robot alien and also formed a strong connection to her dad (Tim Martin Gleason), whose loss is the source of her turmoil. That gave her and Bee a stronger bond than Bee playing wingman to Sam in the first film. I also liked that Charlie becoming Bee’s protector, healer, and disciplinarian made for a cool twist on losing her father, instead of Bee becoming her new father figure. While there’s a certain cliché connotation to making a girl into a mother figure in media (especially when there’s only one girl), while I think their relationship forces Charlie to grow up and accept more responsibility I don’t think it goes as far as saying that being a mother is her only destiny. Knowing Bee also gets Charlie to take more chances and move forward with her life, which had come to a stop in terms of fixing her dad’s car and getting back into diving, and I thought that worked pretty well. The car metaphor (Charlie needs to literally work on and repair her feelings about her dad’s heart attack via the Corvette they were working on together) is perfect, but the diving stuff is introduced a little awkwardly. It seemed like the school bully/popular jock Tripp (Ricardo Hoyos) existed almost solely to goad Charlie into jumping off a rock at a beach day hangout. That’s fine—he was barely a presence in the movie, so he truly does solely exist to challenge/further Charlie’s journey—but that scene also being the first big instance of her reluctance to take up diving again made things feel a little off or sudden/slightly random in some way. Still, the loss of her ability to dive is a neat connection to Bee’s loss of his voice; I just wish what it meant to her was a little more fleshed-out. Tripp’s girlfriend Tina (Grace Dzienny) being a mean girl made Charlie an outsider among her peers, which was a pretty good connection to Bumblebee among the humans. I’m glad that Charlie and her neighbor Memo (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.) didn’t end up together (even if she said “not yet”). The chemistry between Charlie and Bee was much stronger than between her and Memo (even though both relationships were platonic), and she never seemed to have a glimmer of romantic interest in him. And that’s totally fine! Healthy, platonic friendships between girls and guys are something we should see more of in movies and TV. Along these same lines, it was refreshing that they didn’t film Charlie with a male gaze. Charlie’s problems with her family (Pamela Adlon, Jason Drucker) moving on with her mom’s new boyfriend (Stephen Schneider) were well-developed and fit with her inability to move on from her dad’s death, but I wish that they’d been given a bigger moment where that family coalesced into a new family unit. The moment where it happens (in the middle of a car chase) is certainly dramatic, but it also felt too quick.

The villains, both human and Decepticon, were used well. Burns (John Cena) made for a good soldier stuck in a bad situation with orders he disagreed with (he’s the only one to point out their name is a big red flag), even if he still mostly follows his orders until the end. I was very happy that the “comedy” of Section 7 from the original Transformers films was largely dropped here, as that was always one of the weaker parts of those films to me. The Decepticons (Angela Bassett, Justin Theroux, David Sobolov) were suitably evil and imposing, if one-dimensional. I don’t need all villains to have a relatable motivation (sometimes evil is just evil), but the fascistic element of the Decepticons could’ve been played up in their dialogue and interactions with Bumblebee.

The effects were well done and I liked the use of the 80s here. The Decepticons gifting the humans the internet (to use it for their own nefarious purposes) was a nice tie back to the first movie’s comment that so much of our technology was reverse-engineered from studying the All Spark and Megatron. The songs they chose were still popular and recognizable, but not necessarily the songs that almost always accompany a trip to the 80s, which was nice. There’s one cliché and overdone bashing of “Never Gonna Give You Up,” but otherwise this was a refreshing change of pace music-wise.

I really wish we could get more adventures with Charlie and Bumblebee teaming up, but they go their separate ways at the end. It feels a little like the filmmakers felt they had to wrap everything up here instead of hoping they’d get a sequel (which is not at all a bad thing!), but closed the loop to the first film a little too tightly. Maybe there’s still a way for Bee and Charlie to meet up again in the future. Either way, this was a very enjoyable flick in the “80s kids meet an alien” vein and I definitely recommend it!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

#bumblebee #transformers #charlie watson #autobots #decepticons #haliee steinfeld

13 notes · View notes

grootiez · 5 years

Text

Tell Me What You’re Searching For- Chapter 2: Self Awareness

Later that night, Peter was making his rounds throughout the house, checking on each member of the Guardians. He was just walking up the hallway that led to Groot’s nursery when he heard music coming from the baby’s room in the form of Groot’s ukulele that Gamora gave him for his 2 week birthday.

Peter opens the door by the tiniest crack, making sure not to let the door make the smallest creak, which would surely wake up Groot.

As he got a better view of Groot’s nursery, Peter saw something most peculiar. Rocket was sitting on Groot’s rocking chair, cradling the baby Flora Colossus, who was quietly crying in his pot while the raccoon was holding him in his arms, while at the same time playing Groot’s ukulele gently and singing to his son softly.

Peter strained to hear what Rocket was singing, but when he was able to discern what the raccoon was singing, the humie smiled.

“Tell me something, Groot.

Are you happy with these assholes?

Or do you need more?

Is there somethin’ else that you’re searchin’ for?”

It was sweet that Rocket was singing to Groot. Even though the baby wasn’t officially the raccoon’s adopted child, Rocket was protective of the tiny Flora Colossus and would do anything for Groot’s safety and well-being as the seedling mindlessly strummed gently on the ukulele strings.

“I’m falling.

In all the good times I find myself...

Longin’ for change.

�� And in the bad times, I fear myself-.”

Just then, Peter clumsily stumbles while leaning against the doorway as he listened to Rocket’s sweet dulcet voice singing to Groot. Rocket’s ears didn’t even twitch at the sudden disturbance in the otherwise quiet room as the raccoon put down Groot’s ukulele by the baby’s crib. Unfortunately, Rocket’s enhanced hearing picked up on every single nuance of sound, no matter how soft.

“I heard you, Star-Munch.” Rocket said as he cradled Groot in his arms and carried him over to the changing table so that he could place a cloth bag over Groot’s pot so that no dirt would fall out when he laid Groot down for bedtime.

“Well, I... um...” Peter struggled to find the words as Rocket walked over to Groot’s crib, undid the latch and swung the side of the crib open. “I thought that Groot could use some soup. Kraglin made some soup just for him.”

“Groot hates soup.” Rocket deadpanned to Peter as he tucked Groot in for the night with the baby’s favorite blanket. “Plus, he’s been throwing up all night and unless you want to wear Groot Puke on your pajamas tonight, I would advise not giving him anything to eat.”

“Okay...” Peter was still wondering what influenced Rocket’s sudden change in music taste. “You have a lovely singing voice though.”

Rocket grabbed one of his blasters that was laying on Groot’s nightstand and aimed it towards the humie.

“Yo, yo, Rocket, chill out!” Peter begs for his life as Rocket regains his composure and puts the blaster in his holster. “What’s wrong, dude? Tell me.”

Groot stirs in his crib. Rocket’s ears pick up the subtle coos coming from Groot as he whispers to Peter. “Fine. But let’s talk outside. Groot needs to get some sleep.” Rocket conceded as he and Peter walked out of the nursery and closed the door behind him.

“What’s gotten into you?” Peter questioned.

“It’s nothing.” Rocket replied.

“C’mon, Rocket, it has to be something. Tell me.” Peter encourages as he placed a caring hand on Rocket’s shoulder. “Just you and me.”

Rocket took a deep breath in “Fine. I-.”

“Hey, Cap’n?” Kraglin barged in to the conversation at hand. “Do we have anymore soup?”

“No, Kraglin.” Peter answered as Kraglin looked depressed at the response. “Now, I’m talking to Rocket about something private. Oh, guys!” He exasperated as all the other Guardians, except Groot, came crowding into the narrow hallway. “GUYS!” The humie shouted over everyone else as they became silent. “There’s a baby sleeping on the other side of this door and if anyone wakes him up, Rocket is gonna have your head.”

As soon as Peter said that, Groot’s crying could be heard from the other side of the door. Rocket excused himself to soothe the tiny Flora Colossus.

Moments later, Rocket re-emerged from the nursery, carrying Groot in his arms. “Groot’s still not feeling good.” He said as he gently rocked Groot back and forth in his arms. “Go ahead, Quill. Whatever you wanna ask me, you can ask in front of Groot too.” Rocket then looked at the other Guardians. “And everyone else here too.”

“Alright, Rocket.” Peter was careful in choosing the next words he would say to the raccoon. “I, um, all I want to know is what happened to your sudden change in music choice. I mean, we’re not used to hearing this sorta song whenever you have control of the Zune. So, what’s up with that?”

“Alright, Quill.” Rocket took a deep breath and sighed. “The other night, Groot couldn’t get to sleep, so we watched a little bit of TV until he nodded off. Well...”

“Well, what?” Peter was genuinely curious.

“I took five minutes to sleep myself. What? Bob Ross puts me to sleep sometimes.” Rocket replied as Groot gasped in horror. “Sorry, Groot, but you know that I don’t like him as much as you do.”

“Get back to the story, Rocket...” Gamora rolled her eyes as she too didn’t like Rocket’s lengthy explanations for everything.

“Okay!” Rocket exclaims. “Anyways, when I woke back up, Bob Ross was off the air and a movie was coming on.”

“What movie?” Mantis asked.

Rocket took a deep breath. Surely the other Guardians would be in shock at his answer. “A Star is Born.”

Peter was indeed perplexed, as well as the other Guardians. “A Star is Born? Isn’t that movie like 80-some years old?”

“No, Star-Munch.” Rocket answered. “Not the one that’s as old as your grandma’s panties.” He snidely remarked as the humie fumed. “I’m talking about the one that they remade last year with Bradley Cooper starring and directing.”

“Who’s Bradley Cooper, Rocket?” Gamora questions Rocket as he holds a picture frame in his right paw.

“Um... No one...” Rocket shyly replies as he tries, but fails to hide said picture frame behind his back while holding Groot in his other paw as Gamora snatches the item from him.

“Is this him?” Gamora questions Rocket as he nods reluctantly.

“You sleep with his picture every night?” Peter was shocked by this revelation as his eyes widened. Rocket handed Groot and the picture frame over to Drax.

Rocket’s tail puffed up as he stood upright in Peter’s face. “NO!” He exclaims as he pointed a finger at the Terran. “I put that picture over by Groot’s nightstand at night so that he has someone else to look up to than that stupid Bob Ross guy!”

“I am Groo!” A tiny voice chirped.

“Shut up! Vin Diesel is just as bad as-.” It takes Rocket a minute to notice who that tiny voice was coming from. He then runs over to Gamora and picks Groot up from his pot. “Groot! You said your first word!” Rocket congratulates the twig as he hugs him.

“Well, you clearly haven’t watched anything that Chris Pratt has been in.” Peter stated. “Best Terran actor ever.”

“Yeah, if ya take into account that his name sounds like you’re saying ‘Crisp Rat’, Star-Munch!” Rocket couldn’t help but fall over in laughter at his statement as the other Guardians, except Peter, joined in on the laughter, Drax having the most boisterous cackle.

“Shut up! Just shut up you jerks!” Peter was not pleased at the other Guardians’ reactions towards his favorite actor. “Drax, how about you? What actor do you like the most?”

“I don’t watch many movies in my free time, Quill.” Drax replied calmly. “But when I do watch Terran TV, I love to watch wrestling. Dave Bautista is a particular favorite of mine and the way he turns invisible after he says ‘You can’t see me’ inspires me to do the same.”

“Drax, I think that’s John Cena...” Peter explains quietly as the Destroyer glared at him. “But, you do you, man.” Drax then backs off as Peter looks at Gamora. “Gammy? How about you?”

“Thanos never allowed me to watch TV when I was under his parentage.” Gamora admitted. “But once, when I was a teenager, I snuck out to the movie theater and watched this film called ‘Avatar’. It was so beautiful and thought-provoking.”

“Ego never allowed me that luxury either.” Mantis revealed. “So, I just made up stories in my imagination.”

“Alright.” Peter then turns to Kraglin. “Kraglin! My man! I’m sure that you and Yondu have watched many movies over the years. Tell us which actor is your favorite.”

“Well, I don’t have a favorite actor, per say, but I do have favorite and least favorite directors, Quill.” Kraglin answered as he took a sip of his soup.

“Okay, how about you tell us then.” Peter invited the Xandarian as he sat down to listen to Kraglin.

“Well, for one thing, I used to love all these movies that these Russo Brothers made.” Kraglin began. “But then their egos got too big and they thought that it would be ‘cute’ and ‘funny’ if they killed off all the fan favorite characters in one movie and in the next one they bring back all the fan favorites characters that they just killed off only to stab ya in the heart by killing some of the oldest and most beloved characters in the most tear-jerking way while letting the other characters ride off in the sunset.”

Everyone stared at Kraglin in disbelief. They couldn’t understand what he was talking about or where he got this disdain for these so-called “Russo Brothers”.

“Um, are there any directors that you do like, Kraglin?” Peter asked inquisitively.

“Yeah, this James Gunn guy is really talented.” Kraglin replied. “He’s so talented that so far he has made TWO MOVIES that perfectly retells some of our most important adventures and how we formed our family.” The Xandarian added as he handed Quill two DVD cases containing the movies in question. “If y’all want, we can watch ‘em right now.”

“No.” Rocket answered as he cradled Groot in his pot. “It’s way past Groot’s bedtime and if you guys want an angry, stubborn Groot in the morning, then be my guest and let him stay up all night long.” He then turned around as he retreated to his and Groot’s room for the night with the baby.

“Yeah, I think that we should all go to bed too.” Peter declared. “We’ll talk more about this later.” He added as the Guardians went to their separate rooms and he and Gamora retreated to the master suite.——————————————————————————————————

Read on Ao3.——————————————————————————————————

@trashpandaorigins @madness-on-the-milano @mattchewystuff @i-sudoku @rocket-roquill-raccoon @butterflyinthewell @canuckscot @thejollymilano @janetgenea @netbug009 @pineapple-crow @rocket-ringtail-raccoon @rr4901 @sesshouki @skarabrae-stone @vic394 @whoop-whoop-grocket @woozletania

1 note · View note

geek-gem · 5 years

Text

My Thoughts on the Bumblebee 2018 movie

Well got tags done beware a long post, no spoilers, this is me talking about the film, and my experience with the franchise. All copied from my latest DeviantArt journal.

I think the best thing to just straight up say this is the best Transformers movie ever made like so many other folks have said. Unless we get another film that beats them. It's truly one of the best ranking above the 2007 live action film, and the 1986 animated film.

Especially I have quite a bit to say but no spoilers. How I saw this my brother seriously invited me along with his two friends who live in our neighborhood. Basically their my friends too but mostly my brothers. It was like one of those early showings but not midnight but yeah it was a 5:15 pm showing.

But yeah being invited kind of came out of the blue. Yet I'm grateful I've seen it because their seriously other films a lot or it seems like more I wanna see. So Bumblebee gets checked off.

Let me tell you this I literally looked on Wikipedia before this because theirs a some what mid credits scene or gonna spoil the surprise it's before the credits fully start or whatever. Because I was worried I missed anything. But seriously quite some stuff to talk about. Especially on Wikipedia I really wanted to know if this was honestly a reboot. Because my brother even called this out of how it's so different.

Sorry to ramble I'm gonna get into the movie first, then some personal feelings.

Really because it wasn't in my plans it was out of the blue. But I really did enjoy it a whole lot. I really liked the simple story especially the interactions between Bumblebee and Charlie played by Hailee Steinfeld. Also seriously all the characters are very nice some are just jerks or whatever. A lot of the characters are enjoyable.

Especially Charlie Watson as a main human protagonist is wonderful better then the likes or Sam and Cade from the other previous films. Including Hailee Steinfeld is honestly adorable. But just some personal thoughts. Especially John Cena as Agent Burns is another nice character and really I don't mind John Cena as a actor or a person and yeah I liked him another good part of this movie.

But okay the Autobots and Decepticons let me say Bumblebee isn't my favorite Transformers character but he's great in this. Especially our Decepticon antagonists.

The action was great as while like one of the better or as of now best action in the live action film series. It's not shot like how Michael Bay did it.

Including it was honestly quite humorous like generally funny. Especially emotional in parts because your invested in these characters. Along with the fact of how it feels like the lightest in the live action film series. But it's still very serious especially with our Decepticon antagonists when they show up, and even other stuff.

Also love those references just all that 80's stuff especially those Transformers references like G1. Including that entire beginning.

Let me talk about Blitzwing and that whole shit that happened with everyone thought he was Starscream but it wasn't Starscream it was Blitzwing.

I don't wanna spoil anything but he not in the movie very long. While I enjoyed his appearance his role is well....short but he is quite a threat.

Other then that I really enjoyed the film. It's just it's amazing I wasn't so emotional over it because it wasn't in my plans today. But I'm glad my brother invited me to see it with his friends.

Especially another thing I wanna talk about is me as a fan or ex fan of this franchise. Including on DeviantArt was where I talked more about it and Tumblr not so much.

I'll be honest the first live action film was the reason I became a fan. I saw that film four times especially with the Imax rerelease that was the fourth time. That film kind of I don't wanna say changed my life. But it was something amazing. Because of that film I became a fan of the franchise.

Over the years trying to stay a fan of the films despite the reception. It wasn't until the fourth film and I watched Nostalgia Critic's thoughts on that film where he basically took over Bum Reviews. I saw the fourth film twice just like the 2nd and 3rd. I was following Ragin Nation on the news of the film.

I tried to ignore Nostalgia Critic's video but that video changed me. So over time I became less of a fan or just I hated the Bayformers franchise basically the live action films. To a point and it still stands I took down all of my Transformers collections.

Including extreme stuff like I would disown people if they prefer the fourth film over the first three films. Because I even said Age Of Extinction broke me or something like that. I was weirdly depressed until I saw Guardians Of The Galaxy which I was surprised by and the MCU is a whole other story. But also Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks made me happy.

I didn't see the 5th film The Last Knight. It felt weird of not seeing it and still haven't watched it. Despite I've heard and read stuff of folks saying stuff like Ragin Nation, Shartimus Prime, Jeremy Jahns, and others. I felt grateful I didn't see the 5th film and more people didn't see it. Including the fact the 5th I don't know if I'm very sure but it's the lowest grossing of the live action films. I felt that gave Paramount and Hasbro the message the fact they stalled on the 6th film was because of that.

Especially why I say this feels like a reboot and I weirdly want it to be that. Because it's set so apart from the Bayformers despite some easter eggs and other stuff it wouldn't make sense in the Bayformers timeline like previous films in the series. Including what I've heard or whatever The Last Knight seems or looks like the true final film of that version of Transformers.

Including I feel and the attitude towards the films back in the day of how certain folks just accepted it and just we're in different times now. We deserve better and that might sound hypocritical of me.

But I'm just glad this Bumblebee movie exists and I'm really excited of what happens next.

Or something because I'm gonna be honest....can we see Charlie and Burns again? Might sound weird as hell just.....I wouldn't mind a sequel to this film which sounds stupid as hell. But also wouldn't mind if we get a older version of Charlie and Burns too probably.

Because seriously I enjoyed this film a lot. It's in the right direction. I recommend to any Transformers fan but also people wanting to see a good film but also giving this film franchise a chance now.

Really interested in that Cybertron movie even more now by the Ant Man writers or something.

#transformers #bumblebee movie #bumblebee 2018

13 notes · View notes

elmomachete · 5 years

Text

Wrestlemania XXXV Predictions.

Yeah, yeah, they don’t use the Roman numerals anymore. They don’t even use regular numerals. Humor me, it’s out of habit. I actually watched most of NXT Takeover last night, mostly live. I’m still not entirely sold on Blackochet or Matt Riddle, but the War Raiders and Velveteen Dream are the tittyballs and so were both matches. I fell asleep during the UK Championship match and intended to finish the show this morning, but then the results were spoiled for me by Cageside Seats in article headlines. Weak sauce, gentlemen. The weakest of sauces. Oh well, I’ll finish the show eventually. Anyway, with a 42 match card, the pre-show is liable to start any minute now so I better get these predictions up before all the poor souls in New Jersey (I’m sorry, I meant “New York”) start freezing their asses off. Let’s get prognosticating, shall we? Fabulous Moolah Memorial Women’s Battle Royale Totally not promoting human trafficking since 2018. Who won last year, Naomi? It’ll be tough to live up to those standards. I’ll go with Lacey Evans as the winner, because I’m sure that makes sense as a payoff to her coming out, doing nothing, turning around and walking to the back in Crazy Uncle Vinny’s mind. It’d be nice to give Asuka something after her seemingly random dethroning, but Lacey seems more predictably random. Cruiserweight Championship: Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy (c.) 205 Dead Crowd. I watched the Cruiserweight match from the Rumble pre-show the other day, and Buddy Murphy seems like a pretty good wrestleperson. Let’s say he retains, because he’s marrying Alexa Bliss and the company still loves her even though she’ll probably never wrestle again. Andre Roussimoff Memorial Battle Royale (ARMBaR) Just look what it did for Mojo Rawley! How can they make up for having Braun Strowman win the tag titles with a ten year old last year? Have him feud with two schmucks from Saturday Night Live so WWE can end up on a legitimate sports program the next morning! So either he wins, or after he eliminates the aforementioned schmucks he eliminates himself and chases them to the back leaving it open for (randomly points at list of entrants with eyes closed) Curtis Axel to win. Side thought: I think next year they should bring back Nicholas and rehire Matt Striker, putting them against the Bar, the Usos and the New Day. Striker can tutor the kid on the road, and putting them over the entire division will really solidify Nicholas’ legacy as an undefeated two-time tag team champion. Raw Tag Team Championships: Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins vs. the Revival (c.) The Battle of the WWE Random Name Generator Recipients! ...good lord, they’re actually giving the Edgeheads a Mania match? For the titles? I know the belts don’t matter and that maybe a dozen people give a rat’s ass about both teams combined, but still - Ryder and Hawkins’ whole shtick is that they never win. That ALWAYS gets over. So obviously they have to win here to get their “Wrestlemania Moment,” in their “home state” of “New York.” Smackdown Tag Team Championships: Nakamusev vs. the Bar vs. Blackochet vs. the Usos (c.) Aren’t I so witty with my portmanteau tag team names? I’m glad Wikipedia exists to not only tell me all 107 matches, but to remind me that yes, the Usos are tag champs again. What with them losing in Brooklyn, I expect Black and Ricochet to win the titles to start off their big show (no, not that one) debut with a bang and to finally tie them to Smackdown instead of Raw. they’ll have better matches on that show anyway. Or the Usos retain because they’re related to the Rock, who cares. Shane McMahon vs. the Miz Because Super Shane needs to get his annual hyperventilating stunt show in. God bless the Miz, he may be the best company man since John Cena for doing whatever stupid shit they come up with for him. Case in point: this fucking match. Does anyone besides Shane or Vince give two shits about this? Logic says the Miz wins because he’s (somehow) the babyface, so I’ll say Shane wins and the Miz’s dad hugs him afterwards because even though his son main evented Wrestlemania and defeated John Cena (there he is again) and got married to a smokin’ hot model and had a kid, NOW he’s finally proud of him because he put up a valiant effort against the 50 year old son of the owner of the company. Women’s Tag Team Championships: the IIconics vs. Nia Jax and Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix and Natalya vs. the Boss n’ Hug Connection (c.) Who’s got the worse name, the Australians or the champions? I guess Trish and Lita said no, so they dusted Beth Phoenix off and pretend she’s important enough to justify her Hall of Fame induction. Nia and Tamina suck, Billie and Peyton don’t matter, Beth won’t be around the next day and I can’t see them changing the titles so soon after creating them. Bayley and Sasha retain. Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin John Cena Oh, shut up. You know it’s going to happen. Cena beats up Corbin on the way to the ring, spouts some jargon about hustling respect loyally, he drags Angle through three minutes of suck hoping he doesn’t accidentally kill him, somebody wins and they both go away. (Flips a coin) Cena wins, LOL. AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton Fighting because reasons! Um... let’s say AJ wins, because Orton is a made man and they wanna thank AJ for not leaving for All Elite Wrestling (what a terrible name). Christ, how many pointless matches could they trim to make this a show of reasonable length? Not everybody needs a Wrestlemania payday... do those even exist anymore with the Network? United States Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe (c.) I’ve got nothing sarcastic to say about this match, I’m actually looking forward to it somewhat. Rey Mysterio can still go, and although people say Joe has lost a step since coming to WWE I’m actually a bigger fan of him now than ever. I think he’s benefited a lot from having to tone it down and only do two or three big spots in matches as opposed to a billion, although whether that’s due to the restrictions of the “WWE Style” or age/injuries is up for debate (I felt the same about Cesaro slowing it down going from Ring of Honor to WWE). Rey can survive a loss here and I think they wanna get as much out of Joe while they still can, so he retains. WWE Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. the New Daniel Bryan (c.) Remember when the “World” title wasn’t likely to be in the middle of the show? As much as I’d hate to see the Hempyweight Championship belt go (and no matter what it’ll eventually have to), I think the crowd would riot if Kofi didn’t win. So I reckon Kofi wins, then Big E. and Xavier turn on him right afterwards to piss the crowd off right after throwing them a bone. Y’know what? I think it would be interesting to see a riot at a wrestling show. Fans have threatened it with signs ever since Cena vs. Van Dam, but we’ve never actually seen one. It’d certainly be a “Wrestlemania Moment.” Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre Yay, Roman’s back! And he’s not in the main event again! Yet! I’m as glad as anyone that Reigns seems to have beaten leukemia, but the entire feud with Drew seems like something they threw together at the last minute because they didn’t expect him to come back so soon. I can never tell if they’re behind Drew or not, they seem to change their minds every other week. Roman wins, obviously, then probably goes right back into the Universal title picture. Triple H vs. Batista The epic final battle between Drax the Destroyer and whatever Triple H’s character was called in Blade 3. I’m interested in this match due to sheer sideshow curiosity. Big Dave hasn’t wrestled in however long, and last time Hunter wrestled he ripped a titty off his chest in the beginning of the match. I have enough faith that’ll it be something watchable at least, Triple H’s match with Angle and Rousey was good last year. Batista wins and rides off into the sunset, and Trips “retires” for about a year. Let’s give it a year and a half if we’re being generous. Universal Championship: Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar (c.) Prediction for number of German suplexes: 11. Now this one is a sticky wicket. On the one hand, it’d be nice to have the Rumble winner, y’know, win, and have someone with the belt who’ll be around every week. On the other hand, I’m sure Vince is already salivating over the thought of Roman conquering the unstoppable once every four months onslaught of Brock Lesnar. On the THIRD hand, they did make a t-shirt for Rollins that says “Beastslayer” which would be completely pointless to peddle at shows if he lost. I’ll go out on a limb and pick Lesnar, but whoever wins is getting Roman as a challenger Intercontinental Championship: Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley (c.) Can we get this show over with already? I’m already bored just writing about it. The Demon wins back the title that he just lost for no reason a few weeks ago, Lio Rush probably gets beat up and the crowd continues to go mild for Bobby Lashley. Next. Women’s Championship, winner takes all: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair (c., Smackdown) vs. Ronda Rousey (c., Raw) Becky. Becky, Becky, Becky. Wait, I have to say something other than that about the match? The build for this has been all over the place. Becky taps to Asuka at the Rumble, then takes Lana’s spot to win the Rumble match itself. Becky’s suspended, but she’s on every show anyway. Then she’s not suspended, she and Ronda break the fourth wall on Twitter, Charlotte replaces Becky, then she wins the Smackdown belt from Asuka and it’s a triple threat, and my God I think I’ve gone cross eyed. Who wins will really depend on where they place this match on the card. I know they’ve said it’ll be the “main event,” and if it truly goes on last then they’d be insane not to give it to Becky. I’ve been trying to reasonably predict the order in which the matches will take place. BUT... we all know WWE has been saying double main event, triple main event, whatever for years. If it DOESN’T go on last, it’s probably gonna be Charlotte. She’s already beaten Trish’s record for number of Women’s title reigns, and lord knows WWE wants to make her seem like the best at everything due to her name. I’ll (perhaps foolishly) put all my chips on Becky, but won’t be surprised in the least if it’s Charlotte. Oh yeah, Ronda’s in the match too. How ‘bout that. *whew* So yeah, sixteen matches on what’s liable to be a seven hour show. I’m likely to watch it in spurts, because A) my TV is always at the risk of being hijacked by a six year old, and 2) I’m going to fall asleep if I try to watch it all in one shot. I won’t be drinking, because I’d rather fall asleep due to boredom rather than alcohol consumption this year. I almost don’t want the women’s match to go last, because the crowd will be fucking exhausted by then. Of the sixteen matches, I’m confident about half will be good. So there’s that. We’ll have a couple overblown entrances, some forced “Wrestlemania Moments,” the possibility for an entertaining car wreck or two, maybe an Undertaker appearance. This is the first year though where I’m sort of dreading the Grandest Stage of the Showcase of the Immortally Ultimate Thrill Ride in twenty years of fandom, and that’s pretty disheartening. That Takeover sure was something though, wasn’t it?

#wwe #wrestlemania #wrestlemania 35 #nxt takeover #cenawinslol

1 note · View note

closetofanxiety · 6 years

Text

NXT to the Main Roster: A Haphazard Examination, Part 2 (2016)

More wrestlers went from NXT to the main roster(s) in 2016 than in any other year, so I want to examine it separately in my ongoing question to determine whether getting a coveted spot on Raw or Smackdown (or a less coveted spot on 205 Live) likely means stagnation and disappointment. Again, the grades here are for the way these wrestlers have been presented to the WWE audience, not for the wrestlers themselves. Except, I guess, for the F handed out to Big Cass.

Sami Zayn

Call-up date: January 24. The perfect underdog babyface at the top of the card in NXT (a role they’re currently trying to give Johnny Gargano), Zayn has had a respectable but mostly unspectacular run on the big shows. While they were never going to build main event storylines around him the way NXT did, after his initial feud with eternal lifemate Kevin Owens, he kind of drifted around the middle of the pack without a clear character or motivation. Hampered by injuries, his heel turn was initially masterfully handled: by saving Kevin Owens from Shane McMahon, Zayn was, in the immediate aftermath, allowed to seem conflicted, uncertain, and anxious about what he’d done. It looked like there was going to be real character development, and then, in a few months, he was challenging Bobby Lashley to obstacle course races.

Grade: C

Eva Marie

Call-up date: March 28. WE DIDN’T DESERVE HER. She could have been a sensational, crowd-baiting heel, as she was LOATHED by the super nerds in the WWE audience, who hated that she couldn’t wrestle and was only getting pushed for her looks. I mean, the same was true of Lex Luger ZING. Anyway, it wasn’t too be, and we’re left to wonder what could have been.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Baron Corbin

Call-up date: April 3. Big Banter has grown into the role that is probably the top-dollar best he can hope for in the WWE: a sneering heel near the top of the midcard who can talk well and wrestle well. He’s a plug-and-play guy for babyfaces who are being kept on the stove while the main event picture sorts itself out, and he does great at it. I saw Baron Corbin wrestle Tommy Dreamer at an NXT show in Albany once and thought, “This guy suxxxx.” But he has proved me wrong! Good for Big Breakfast Constable Corbin.

Grade: B+

Enzo Amore

Call-up date: April 4. I’ll go on record as saying he was used well as the shitty heel champion in 205 Live. Everyone hated him, and that was his role. That was probably his ceiling: top hate figure on the ‘C’ show, but we’ll never know.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Big Cass

Call-up date: April 4. His attitude and behavior must have really been something for Vince McMahon, The Big Man Liker, to so quickly part with a big man who could talk and was at least more adept in the ring than, say, the Great Khali. After the split with Enzo, they didn’t really seem to know what they were doing with him, so I’m not entirely sure we missed out on a legendary career or anything.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Apollo Crews

Call-up date: April 4. This decision remains a head scratcher. Crews made his NXT TV debut on August 22, 2015, and in less than eight months, was debuting on Raw. Although he’s an incredibly talented wrestler, I don’t know that his NXT stint was quite the rocket to the top that would justify this. Since his debut, he’s been totally lost in the shuffle and without a discernible character. His most significant match to date was a losing bid for the Intercontinental championship against The Miz on an episode of Smackdown. The Titus Worldwide stuff has helped, but not much.

Grade: C-/D+

Aiden English

Call-up date: April 7. Rusev DAAAAYYYEH. If it weren’t for his alliance with Big Matchka, English would be staring down the barrel of a D+. Initially arrived on the main roster as a tag team with Simon Gotch, the two had an undistinguished run that included Smackdown tag title tournament losses to the Hype Bros and Breezango. Now that he’s the guy who stiffly raps before Rusev comes out, English is basking in his Mizdow Moment. When it ends, though, what will become of the Operatic Superstar?

Grade: C-

Simon Gotch

Call-up date: April 7. His gimmick had a lot of potential: the super old-timey wrestler in a postmodern, post-kayfabe world. It never really got off the ground, though, and while his team with Aiden English worked at Full Sail, Vince’s dim view of tag teams generally, plus the material they were given, meant it didn’t have much of a shot on the big stage. WWE let the trademark on his name expire, which tells you a lot.

Grade: F

Dana Brooke

Call-up date: May 9. After kind of a hot start that I’ve largely forgotten - she was heel Charlotte’s protege, remember? - she quickly settled into the rut of main roster women’s booking, which tends to consist of two women fighting over the title and then everyone else forming an amorphous backdrop, occasionally emerging for random six-person tags involving the main eventers. Dana did eliminate Kairi Sane at the first-ever Women’s Royal Rumble, so that’s something, I guess. Since November, she’s been one of the few people in the company with a manager role, as an Alexandra York figure in Titus Worldwide.

Grade: C-

Mojo Rawley

Call-up date: July 24. Did you know Zack Ryder’s been in the WWE system since 2006? He’s incredible. He’s like one of those NBA guys who you see playing five minutes in a playoff game, years after you assumed they had retired. Anyway, Mojo Rawley. He’s done as well as he’s ever likely to do, destroying Ryder after a heel turn, feuding with No Way Jose, and no longer being hyped. His main roster run hasn’t been disappointing, largely because his NXT run was about the same thing, minus the heel turn.

Grade: C

Nia Jax

Call-up date: July 25. Rock’s cousin or no, she’s managed to remain above the midcard scrum in the women’s division by having a unique look, as the only credible monster in the locker room. She has the problem that all monsters have sooner or later, which is: what do they do after getting beaten? In her case, it was a clumsy face turn in a bullying-themed angle with Alexa Bliss that didn’t do much for either woman. Still, because of her size and ability, she’s always somewhere near the top of the card, something that’s unlikely to change.

Grade: B

Finn Bálor

Call-up date: July 25. To my mind, he’s one of the few wrestlers who’s been better served on the main roster than he was in NXT. He’s the longest-reigning NXT champion so far, but his tenure there seems largely forgettable apart from his Beast in the East match against Kevin Owens and the bloodbath against Samoa Joe at Takeover: Dallas. On the main roster, he’s regularly near the top of the card, with his painted demon character receiving the holy-shit treatment, as we saw at SummerSlam. He’s become one of their most recognizable stars and the company clearly loves him.

Grade: A

Alexa Bliss

Call-up date: July 26. One of the best examples I can think of that demonstrates how a turn can elevate a wrestler, she went from boring, sparkly cheerleader to the top woman in NXT by becoming a heel. Initially the manager of the lookalike midcard tag team of Make and Blurphy, it was clear from the start she was bound for greater things. She’s been the signal success story of the WWE System in developing stars, as opposed to repackaging stars from the indies, Japan, and Mexico: Bliss is, if not quite a mainstream star, one of the most recognizable women in the company, constantly on top of the women’s roster, and winning raves for her incredible microphone work. Nerds who complain she isn’t good at wrestling probably wouldn’t have understood Abdullah the Butcher either.

Grade: A+

Carmella

Call-up date: July 26. OH THE IRONY! When she managed Enzo and Big Cass in NXT, she was despised by the Full Sail nerds, who would chant “you can’t wrestle” at her. Two years later, and here we are: Real1 is making unlistenable hip hop tracks for his Instagram stories, Big Cazz is set to make his indie debut for Big Time Wrestling in Spartanburg, S.C., and Carmella is coming off a 131-day run as Smackdown Women’s Champion, having beaten Asuka in matches on pay-per-view and free TV. She’s not at Alexa’s level as a heel - not many people are - but she’s done a great job of establishing herself in a women’s roster that suffers from way too many bland characters and storylines.

Grade: B+/A-

Jason Jordan

Call-up date: August 2. Listen, Vince hates tag teams. American Alpha was a red-hot team in NXT, where they got over thanks to their phenomenal work inside the ring. But even there, they were kind of bland as individuals. On the main roster, where tag teams rarely last, this spelled trouble. Jordan has been hampered by injuries, but even without that he’s a man adrift, the highlight of his tenure so far being the kayfabe revelation that he’s Kurt Angle’s son, which has mostly been treated as an afterthought.

Grade: D

Chad Gable

Call-up date: August 2. Second verse, same as the first. They tried to spark some of that American Alpha magic after disbanding American Alpha by pairing Gable with Shelton Benjamin, with predictable results. I don’t think Gable’s been on television since May, and he’s not injured. He apparently feuded with Mike Kanellis on Main Event back in June, to give you some idea. He taped a thing for WWE’s social media channels with amateur wrestling god Dan Gable, which I liked, so there’s that.

Grade: D

Bayley

Call-up date: August 22. I will admit here that I did not “get” her gimmick in NXT. It just always seemed vaguely unsettling, and now we know that it led to the Cult of Izzy. That aside, she had an undeniable connection with the audience, largely thanks to her palpable enthusiasm and tremendous in-ring skill. I never really bought the commonplace line that she could become the female John Cena, mostly because I think that underestimates how much of Cena’s appeal comes from the fact that half the audience hates him. But she’s a true-blue babyface in a company that doesn’t really know what to do with true-blue babyfaces, and so her main roster stint has been something of a disappointment. It’s weirdly fitting that she’s locked into this seemingly endless frenemies storyline with Sasha Banks, another woman who was adored in NXT and who hasn’t really found her footing on the main roster.

Grade: C

Rich Swann

Call-up date: September 19. He had his moments in 205 Live, but it was clear his off-kilter personality and presentation were not what they had in mind as the Face of the Division. They were trying to mold him into what they have with Mustafa Ali or Cedric Alexander, when they would have been better off trying to make Swann the Dean Ambrose of the cruiserweights. Instead, well, we know what happened instead.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Austin Aries

Call-up date: December 18. I have a theory that Vince McMahon thought Austin Aries was Bobby Roode, and that when they hired the real Bobby Roode, Vince immediately said, “Well, then who the fuck is this guy?”

Grade: F

#NXT #official rankings #WWE

1 note · View note

aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

The Suicide Squad Character Guide, Easter Eggs, and DCEU References

https://ift.tt/3ywaJGW

This article contains major spoilers for The Suicide Squad. We have a spoiler free review here.

The DCEU is alive and well and dividing its time between Corto Maltese and Belle Reve prison. James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad gives us the most DC characters in live action in any one movie ever assembled!

OK, fine, the vast majority of them die. And a fair portion of them most folks have never even heard of. But it still counts!

And yes, there are DC Comics Easter eggs in the movie, but perhaps not as many as you might expect. So we’ve decided to split the difference. We’re gonna give you the lowdown on all the characters, especially the obscure ones, and talk about what their existence in this movie means (or could mean) for the wider DCEU. And we’ll still give you all the DC Easter eggs we were able to spot. A real bargain, even though this article didn’t cost you anything!

Let’s take it from the top (cue the Jim Carroll Band’s “People Who Died”)

HARLEY QUINN

What else can be said about Harley Quinn that we haven’t already said a thousand times? You know who she is, you know where she’s from, and you know all about Margot Robbie’s iconic, for-the-ages performance.

And while the DCEU is pretty loosely connected these days, this is definitely the same Harley from the 2016 movie, although somewhat less male gaze-y in her attire, and one who has definitely moved on from her relationship with the Joker (who doesn’t even get mentioned in this film!). Harley already knowing Rick Flag, Captain Boomerang, and Amanda Waller is all the proof you need that this is a sequel to that film, however loose it may be.

Harley’s relationship status and attitude means that the events of 2020’s Birds of Prey movie also definitely happened, and they’re even referenced (albeit in passing). Hell, you could even say that Harley’s grand escape and the “Harley-vision” that accompanies it comes right out of some of the weirder moments of Birds of Prey. But that’s basically it. We’d like more of Robbie as Harley on our screens, though.

Movies

The Suicide Squad: Margot Robbie On the Enduring Appeal of Harley Quinn

By Kayti Burt

Movies

Margot Robbie Wants Poison Ivy to Join Harley Quinn in the DCEU

By Kayti Burt

What does Harley Quinn mean for the DCEU? Harley’s intro in 2016’s Suicide Squad helped establish that of all the characters kicking around the DCEU, Batman was the most experienced, as she, Joker, and Bats shared a history dating back several years. At this point, Harley is practically the linchpin of old DCEU continuity, and one of the last remaining cinematic ties to Ben Affleck’s portrayal of the Dark Knight.

BLOODSPORT

The version of Bloodsport we meet in this film bears very little resemblance to his comic book incarnation. The comics version of Bloodsport first appeared in 1987’s Superman #4 by John Byrne, and while elements of the comics character made it to the film, the guy Idris Elba is playing is quite different from his comics counterpart. Let’s start with the similarities…

The name, both the codename and his real name of Robert Du Bois? Check. The thing about him shooting Superman with a Kryptonite bullet? Also check. The rest? Ummm…it’s a loose interpretation.

Movies

The Suicide Squad: How Idris Elba Brings Bloodsport to Life

By Stephanie Williams

Movies

How The Suicide Squad is Different from Guardians of the Galaxy

By Mike Cecchini

Here, Bloodsport has a seemingly never ending arsenal of high tech weapons, which fold and collapse out of each other, meaning he’s seemingly always got the exact tool for the job. But in the comics, Bloodsport was equipped with a tiny teleporter (thanks Lex Luthor!) which allowed him to seemingly “materialize” whatever weapon he needed at any given moment. The comics version of Bloodsport was much less of a “purely competent badass” and much more of a tragic, traumatized, and deluded figure…and a mass shooter, to boot.

This isn’t quite a comics thing, but when Bloodsport throws his earpiece in disgust near the end of the film after having enough of taking orders from Waller and company, it’s vaguely reminiscent of the final shot in the first (and by far the best) Dirty Harry movie, when Clint Eastwood’s Harry Callahan, disillusioned with the constraints of the system, flings his badge and walks away.

What does Bloodsport mean for the DCEU? It’s a little frustrating to know that Henry Cavill’s DCEU Superman is still out there having adventures that we’ll probably never get to see. Cavill deserves another chance in the cape, damn it! Alas, Warner Bros. seems to have different (and very cool) plans for Superman on the big screen these days.

PEACEMAKER

Peacemaker is a weird character, folks. The character first appeared back in 1966, and wasn’t a DC character…he was published by the now defunct Charlton Comics, whose characters like the Question, Blue Beetle, and Captain Atom were later acquired by DC and folded into their own continuity. And you know what else those characters have in common? They became the inspirations for the main characters in Watchmen, with Watchmen’s Comedian functioning as a kind of adaptation of Peacemaker.

Comics Peacemaker is pretty different (except in looks) to the guy we meet in this film, though. Initially a pacifist using non-lethal weapons, he was reinvented by DC in the ‘80s as a bloodthirsty character with some serious mental issues. Namely, he believed that the souls of the people he killed were then trapped in his distinctive helmet and talking to him. Uhhhh…

Movies

The Suicide Squad: John Cena and the Secrets of Peacemaker

By Nick Harley

Movies

The Suicide Squad: Inside James Gunn’s DCEU Supervillain War Movie

By Mike Cecchini

He’s popped up a handful of times in DC continuity over the last 35 years, but there’s no version of the character you could safely consider definitive. He’s appearing in the current (and very good) run of DC’s Suicide Squad comics, as well. Like Bloodsport, the origin explained for him onscreen here has nothing to do with his comics counterpart.

What does Peacemaker mean for the DCEU? Well, he’s still alive (as we see in that post-credits scene) for starters. He’s also getting his own HBO Max series, which James Gunn is showrunning, writing, and directing quite a bit of. And since he’s still loyal to Amanda Waller, it would seem that any future Suicide Squad sequels will rest firmly on John Cena’s broad shoulders.

RICK FLAG

Ah, Rick Flag, we hardly knew ye. Joel Kinnnaman gives Flag a much more likeable makeover in this film, and the character is even rocking a yellow t-shirt in honor of the John Ostrander-written Suicide Squad comics of the 1980s that influenced so much of this film.

In the comics, Rick was a career military man, like his father before him (we assume this is also Rick Flag, Jr. just like in the comics). Screen Rick’s sense of duty and honor would seem to indicate that’s the case here, too.

What does Rick Flag mean for the DCEU? Well…unfortunately, he’s dead, so not much. Unless it turns out that Task Force X has been cloning Rick Flags for use on Suicide Squad missions for years or something, we don’t expect to see him again. In any case, that sure was an epic way for him to go out!

KING SHARK

Whoever thought that a ‘90s Superboy villain would become one of the most beloved characters of the blockbuster season? The Suicide Squad isn’t King Shark’s first foray into live action (that would be The Flash TV series) but this is easily his biggest stage yet.

Since his first appearance in 1994, King Shark has been a Superboy baddie, an Aquaman villain, has fought for the bad guys in assorted Crises, a kinda ally to a different version of Aquaman, and our personal favorite, a member of the Squad-adjacent team of antiheroes and mercenaries known as the Secret Six, where writer Gail Simone delivered some of the character’s most memorable and delightful moments.

Movies

The Suicide Squad: How King Shark and Starro Were Brought to Life

By Don Kaye

Oh, and when we first meet him he’s trying to read William James’ The Varieties of Religious Experience. But it’s upside down.

What does King Shark mean for the DCEU? Well…we would very much like to see him show up in Aquaman 2, known as Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. It would be a tremendous missed opportunity if not, even if it’s just for a cameo. Don’t those weird/adorable/scary Clyrax just look like they were designed for James Wan’s Aquaman world?

And c’mon, James Gunn’s next DC movie should absolutely be Secret Six, where King Shark is really most at home!

AMANDA WALLER

Viola Davis is a national treasure, and her Amanda Waller performance makes the character perhaps the most malevolent of all these kind of not-quite-good guys. Sure, we’ve had other live action Amanda Waller performances, but nobody captures the no-nonsense, morally gray Waller like Davis has here.

What does Amanda Waller mean for the DCEU? At the end of the first Suicide Squad movie, we had that little tease of Amanda dealing with Bruce Wayne and General Wade Eiling. While the DCEU as a whole isn’t terribly connected these days, it would be great if we could see more of Davis’ Waller lurking in the shadows, pulling the strings, and maybe even putting events in motion that ultimately lead to the formation of that aforementioned Secret Six team…

That being said, we’re not holding our breath for it, either. Then again, it’s quite easy to imagine a world where Waller is taking a pronounced interest in someone like Black Adam coming out of hiding.

STARRO

The villain of The Suicide Squad actually began life as…a Justice League villain! And not just any Justice League villain, the FIRST Justice League villain! Yes, Starro has been kicking around DC Comics since 1960 and the very first appearance of the JLA.

While kaiju-sized from the start, Starro’s very creepy ability to spawn spores that are essentially facehuggers didn’t come around until a post-Alien world. This suddenly made Starro a much cooler, and more in-demand threat, and despite there being 17 years between their first and second appearance, since then, Starro has become a regular pain-in-the-face for the entire DC Universe.

Thinker naming the creature “Starro the Conqueror” as a derisive nickname is a reference to how the character is referred to in the comics…and it was literally the text on the cover of its first appearance.

We get lots of imagery of group shots of “Starro zombies,” folks wearing the ol’ Starro facehugger. That’s a recurring image in the comics, and one that comes to mind is the cover of Justice League Europe #26.

Oh, and that’s Taika Waititi voicing Starro, in his second role in the film! (more on the other one in a moment)

What does Starro mean for the DCEU? Well, aside from the fact that we’ve been robbed of a Justice League vs. Starro movie now, there’s no reason to believe that we couldn’t potentially have Starro back. A spore could have escaped. Starro themself could be a giant spore of its own hivemind.

And while it’s unlikely that we’ll get Starro as a primary antagonist ever again in a DCEU film, it would be pretty cool to see the creature or the species referenced in something like the upcoming HBO Max Green Lantern Corps TV series.

CAPTAIN BOOMERANG

One of the few returning characters from the first film, Jai Courtney’s Captain Boomerang…dies pretty early in the movie. He’s even more gleefully over the top here than he was in 2016, which is pretty appropriate. Boomer was a founding member of the comic book version of the Squad (reluctantly of course) where he was always portrayed as the most dislikeable and abrasive of all the characters.

What does Captain Boomerang mean for the DCEU? His death here is a genuine surprise, though. Captain Boomerang has always been a pretty high profile Flash villain. And yes, we had that little cameo of him and Ezra Miller’s Flash in the theatrical version of Justice League, Courtney seemed destined to appear one day in at least a small role in some version of The Flash movie for WB. Alas, that now appears to be off the table. Ah, well…

THE THINKER

There have been so many different versions of Thinker in DC Comics history and…Peter Capaldi is playing none of them. Not a one.

This is a brand-new (sorta) version of the character named Gaius Greeves. He looks like an unnamed version of Thinker who appeared in DC’s post-New 52 continuity in 2014, though, and that character definitely had a Squad connection.

What does Thinker mean for the DCEU? Historically, Thinker in various incarnations has been a Flash villain. Hell, a version of the character was the primary baddie on an entire season of The Flash! But like our pal Captain Boomerang, any hope of seeing Thinker match wits with the DCEU Flash are now over.

Although wouldn’t it be kinda cool if the DCEU gets around to introducing Jay Garrick and we learn that ol’ Gaius once had a beef with him? OK, fine, we’re not counting on it, either.

POLKA-DOT MAN

Poor Abner Krill couldn’t be more different than his comic book version…despite his remarkably accurate costume. Polka-Dot Man is a Batman villain dating all the way back to 1962, except there, he wasn’t the unfortunate recipient of an alien virus with grotesque polka-dot mutations and vomiting and…oh you get the picture.

Comics Abner Krill just had a costume full of trick, high-tech polka-dots. He um…he was not a major villain.

What does Polka-Dot Man mean for the DCEU? Other than the STAR Labs connection, and we believe this is the first mention of STAR Labs since the “Snyderverse” collapsed, not a hell of a lot. Abner is dead, and he ain’t coming back. Although it’d be pretty awesome if it turns out that it was Batman who put Abner away, since we know that in DCEU continuity Bats has been punching bad guys longer than anyone else.

RATCATCHER

Daniela Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2 is a brand new character created for this movie. We think she rules. However, if you’re looking for a comic book connection, we need to go back to her “dad” played in that cool Taika Waititi cameo.

Ratcatcher first appeared in a 1988 issue of Detective Comics, where he was a disgruntled former murderer who was kidnapping everyone responsible for putting him in prison, and holding them prisoner in the sewers. Oh, and he controlled rats. He was far less sweet and charming than either of our DCEU Ratcatchers. Oh, and that story has a panel where Batman vomits sewage because he nearly drowns in it. Good times.

But even that pretty malevolent comics Ratcatcher probably isn’t quite the Ratcatcher of the DCEU. After all, Ratcatcher 2 is named Cleo Cazo, and comics Ratcatcher was Otis Flanagan, and Otis didn’t seem nearly as sympathetic as Taika’s performance here.

What does Ratcatcher mean for the DCEU? Other than the possibility that this was someone else Batman put in Belle Reve? Not a lot. Although since Ratcatcher 2 lives on, we’d love to see her in another Suicide Squad movie, or make her a cornerstone of a live action Secret Six or something.

SAVANT

In the comics, as in this film, there isn’t a heckuva lot to say about Savant. What’s interesting is that he was a key player in one of Gail Simone’s earliest Birds of Prey storylines. Michael Rooker looks remarkably like his DC Comics counterpart in that wig, though.

What does Savant mean for the DCEU? Going forward? He’s dead, so not much. But in the past? Is it possible he ran afoul of Birds of Prey’s Huntress or Black Canary and that’s how he ended up in the Squad? We’d like to think so.

Also, one interesting bit about ol’ Savant. He started off as a guy who thought he could be a costumed vigilante. Of course, he was in it for all the wrong reasons and got a stern talking to from Batman and that set him on his life of crime. We’d like to imagine Ben Affleck’s Batman telling Michael Rooker’s Savant “you’re not morally equipped for this job,” just like he did in the comics!

TDK

“The Detachable Kid” is actually a riff on an obscure Legion of Super-Heroes and Legion of Substitute Heroes character named…Arm-Fall-Off Boy. I couldn’t make that one up if I tried, folks. His powers are identical, although his comics look is pretty different.

What does TDK mean for the DCEU? OK, so bear with me for a moment…what if TDK is actually from the 31st Century and ended up back here somehow before he found himself stuck with the Squad? Until they say otherwise, this is my headcanon. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go write up a headline called “How The Suicide Squad Confirms the Legion of Super-Heroes in the DCEU” which will get me hate mail for the rest of the summer.

BLACKGUARD

Blackguard is a pretty minor DC villain, mostly notable for being the baddie in the very first Booster Gold comic! He’s a much beefier, more heavily armored character than the guy we get on screen here, but honestly…not much more interesting. And yes, his name really is Dick Hertz.

What does Blackguard mean for the DCEU? Look, if Blackguard exists, Booster Gold exists. I’ve been waiting for a Booster Gold movie forever now, and it’s long overdue. It’s time. Come to think of it, this would also be perfect for James Gunn to direct.

WEASEL

Weasel was a Firestorm villain from the 1980s who…was actually a dude in a weasel suit. A disgruntled college loser who took revenge on people later in years for uh, calling him a weasel back in their younger days. The character was later revamped as a more kind of, well, traditionally animalistic/weaselly figure, but the version we meet in this film has more in common with Bloom County’s Bill the Cat than any of his DC Comics incarnations.

What does Weasel mean for the rest of the DCEU? He’s still alive! Count your children! Bring on Firestorm! OK, but in all seriousness, Firestorm would look pretty cool on a big screen budget.

JAVELIN

Javelin was a Green Lantern villain, believe it or not. See, back in the day, Green Lantern was powerless against the color yellow, hence this guy’s color scheme. Flula Borg has a remarkably accurate translation of Javelin’s comics costume in this film, and the character is pretty much exactly as he was portrayed in his early comics appearances, cool accent and all.

Amazingly, this is the second Watchmen connection of this piece (wait, what?). You see, Javelin was created by Len Wein (editor of Watchmen) and Dave Gibbons (co-creator and artist of Watchmen). So, not quite as direct a connection as Peacemaker, but a connection nonetheless.

What does Javelin mean for the DCEU? As far as I’m concerned, this is proof that Earth has a Green Lantern, despite the fact that we haven’t seen a modern day, human Green Lantern Corps member in official DCEU continuity yet. But someone had to put him in Belle Reve, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s Hal Jordan.

MONGAL

Mongal is a member of a warlike, and immensely powerful alien race. She’s also the daughter of Mongul, the ruler of Warworld and the villain of one of the greatest Superman stories ever told, “For the Man Who Has Everything” by the Watchmen creative team of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Mongal um…didn’t live long in the comics, either.

What does Mongal mean for the DCEU? If Mongal exists, then this is proof that Mongul and Warworld exists. And once again, I am annoyed that Henry Cavill isn’t getting another shot as Superman. An adaptation of “For the Man Who Has Everything” would actually be a brilliant move for the DCEU, albeit a weird one.

If Warner Bros. wanted to do something more traditional with the character, the Superman “Exile” story would also make for great big screen fodder, taking Superman offworld and into Mongul’s gladiatorial contests. Anyway…there’s two more DCEU Superman movies that should have happened for ya!

CALENDAR MAN

That’s Sean Gunn in a cameo as Calendar Man (yep) shouting “You fucking pussy” in Belle Reve.

What does Calendar Man mean for the DCEU? Hey, maybe we’ll get a live action adaptation of Batman: The Long Halloween one day! On second thought, maybe that’s not such a great idea.

DOUBLE DOWN

And right behind him? That would be Double Down, a playing card themed villain perhaps “best” known as a minor Flash villain.

What does Double Down mean for the DCEU? Pretty much exactly what you’d expect. Feel free to imagine he was locked up by Ezra Miller’s Flash, though.

JOTUNHEIM

The fortress known as Jotunheim here does indeed have a comics connection. It was the site of the comic book Squad’s very first mission in 1987’s Suicide Squad #1. That being said, the nature of the mission itself and even the location couldn’t have been more different than what we got in the movie, but it’s a nice little callback.

It isn’t the only reference to that famed first issue, either! The yellow shirt Rick Flag wears throughout this movie (minus the logo) was also pioneered in that comic, and there’s also…

JOHN ECONOMOS

Steve Agee’s non-King Shark motion capture performance is as John Economos, one of Waller’s flunkys. In the comics, Economos is the warden of Belle Reve, and he also first appeared in Suicide Squad #1 which was written by…

JOHN OSTRANDER

Wait, John Ostrander isn’t a DC character! No, but he IS the person most responsible for the Suicide Squad as we know them. He has a cameo in the film as “Dr. Fitzgibbon.” This isn’t a DC Comics character, but it IS the second time Gunn has snuck a “Dr. Fitzgibbon” into his films…the other was in the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie when a Dr. Fitzgibbon was treating Meredith Quill as she was dying.

SENATOR CRAY

A throwaway line in the film refers to “Senator Cray,” and this is no accident either. Senator Joseph Cray was indeed a minor Suicide Squad character, who only appeared in three stories. He was corrupt, so the idea that anyone is playing golf with him in the DCEU doesn’t say great things about them.

CORTO MALTESE

DC fans will recognize the fictional nation of Corto Maltese from its central role in Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley’s incredible The Dark Knight Returns. From there, you’ll know it from its mentions in Tim Burton’s Batman movie and various namedrops on assorted Arrowverse TV shows. The Suicide Squad marks the first time we’ve spent significant time there on the big screen.

But the Corto Maltese name goes back further than The Dark Knight Returns. Miller named the fictional country after Hugo Pratt’s beloved comic book series featuring a sailor of the same name.

It doesn’t appear that Silvio Luna, Matteo Suarez, or the Herrera family depicted in the movie have any additional comics connections, though.

What does Corto Maltese mean for the DCEU? Well, if we ever get that live action Dark Knight Returns adaptation with Ben Affleck, this place will be a movie hotspot once again!

GBS

It’s always a nice touch when we see a TV broadcast coming from a GBS network. GBS is the Galaxy Broadcasting System, one of the biggest fictional news conglomerates in the DC Universe. It’s owned by Morgan Edge, who depending on what version of the character you’re looking at has connections to Darkseid and Apokolips (paging fans of Zack Snyder’s Justice League) or Krypton (hello Superman & Lois!).

What does GBS mean for the DCEU? Not much, but it’s popped up in several movies now, and it’s one of the few pieces of worldbuilding connective tissue still holding the DCEU together.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Spot anything we missed? Let us know in the comments!

The post The Suicide Squad Character Guide, Easter Eggs, and DCEU References appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3jwCJEM

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

2 notes · View notes

rawiswhore · 3 years

Text

Billy Gunn x Fem Reader- “69 Boyz”

1999 is almost coming to a close.

Not only is 1999 almost over, but so is the 1990's decade in general, and even the 20th Century in general is almost over.

The 20th Century, a tumultuous century filled with good and bad, is almost over with.

That's not all, we're entering a new millennium in general.

However, some people are debating when the new millennium truly starts, in 2000 or 2001.

There's several people panicking because they're afraid the world will truly end on January 1st, 2000, and they're stocking up on paper towels and food.

You don't believe the world will end.

And in 1999, the WWF has beat WCW in ratings during the Monday Night Wars.

A few years ago, the WWF almost went out of business and had 1 million people watching it.

Now, the viewership is up to 6 million people watching.

The WWF's "Monday Night Raw" and "WCW Nitro" are the highest rated shows on television in 1999.

Pro wrestling is more popular than ever before.

And the most popular wrestling faction of the late 90's and early 2000's Attitude era is arguably D Generation X.

D Generation X were the WWF's answer to the N.W.O. over in WCW.

D Generation X are one of the reasons why the WWF is now called WWF Attitude.

When pro wrestlers become immensely popular, there's bound to be a lot of merchandise made of them, especially T-shirts.

Some wrestlers wear shirts that have replicas worn by fans, just look at Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, the Rock, and even John Cena.

And yep, D Generation X's shirts they've worn have been worn by fans all throughout America.

One of DX's shirts they've worn is a black football-style jersey that reads either "degenerate" or their "suck it" catchphrase on the back, whichever shirt they wear or sell, and the number "69" written on the back.

Yep, that's DX in a nutshell.

You've worn that jersey many times before, have been pictured wearing it and even have slept in it, and when the "basketball jersey dress" trend in the 2000's happened, you turned a DX football jersey into a dress.

When Britney Spears turned football jerseys into cute short tops/shirts in the early 2000's, you turned a DX football jersey into a cute short top.

By the end of 1999, DX, especially X Pac, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn, are wearing those football jersey's with "69" on the back.

X Pac and Road Dogg do nothing for you looks wise, and Triple H is losing his looks a bit by getting bigger and growing facial hair, but there is a DX member who luckily hasn't cut his hair yet and has it long and flowing.

That member is Billy Gunn!

Seeing Billy Gunn in that DX football jersey with a sex related number on the back gave you an idea for his birthday.

When it was his birthday, you told him an idea you had for him, and he loved your idea.

The perfect birthday present.

On his birthday in 1999, you and Billy were both dressed in that aforementioned DX football jersey and nothing else underneath.

You were busy sucking on Billy's cock, your head bobbing up and down his shaft while you sucked his penis, Billy was licking and tonguing your pussy.

Thankfully, you don't have any shit caked and smeared on your ass cheeks and around your asshole, your ass is completely clean, and you don't have any pubic hair around your vagina or up your ass crack.

Hopefully you don't fart in Billy's face when you're 69'ing him.

Your ass was trying not to smother his face, he was trying not to bury his face in between your ass crack considering your ass crack leads to your asshole.

Your lips were circulating around his shaft, whereas Billy's tongue was traveling up your pussy, tasting the salty, creamy substance coming from your twat.

You're not gonna let Billy Gunn lick and eat your ass despite his nickname being Mr. Ass and his entrance music describing how he's an ass man, why?

Because not only is eating ass disgusting, in the future, what if you or someone else wants to kiss Billy and his mouth/tongue has tasted your asshole, even if he's cleansed his mouth out with mouth wash and scrubbed his tongue with toothpaste afterwards?

You won't even let him lick your ass cheeks.

Then again, you've let him and other wrestlers eat your pussy, and many men have been inside your twat.

You're also sucking his cock despite it being up your asshole a few times, of course he's washed and cleansed his dick after it's been up your anus.

Billy's tongue is sliding up one of your pussy flaps, only to shift across to your clitoris, though it's hard for his tongue to reach your clit.

So instead, he's licking what's in the middle of your twat.

As he's eating your cunt out, precum is trickling out of the slit of his penishead, but your mouth is there to suck it up and swallow it once it's in your mouth.

Billy's missing the opportunity to do DX's "suck it!" taunt and crotch chop at the same time as you're sucking his dick.

Your tongue is also licking anywhere around his shaft where his precum might be dripping down, licking it up to make sure it doesn't fall down his shaft.

Billy's licking up and down the middle of your pussy like it's a Popsicle, moving his tongue up and down your twat, licking that wonderful salty area in between your pussy flaps.

You'd love it if Billy made you cum so he can eat and clean your twat up after you've came, or for you to cum in his mouth.

When you're sucking his shaft, your head is going up his shaft while you suck his penis.

Sometimes you've let your head and mouth go further down his shaft, almost all the way down to the bottom.

Billy is trying to make the tip of his tongue touch your clit, though it is a little difficult.

Maybe it's okay if he doesn't make you cum.

His tongue isn't just licking up and down the middle of your twat, but also up and down both of your pussy flaps, sometimes even across them.

Since his nickname is Mr. Ass, wonder if he should give both of your ass cheeks a squeeze and maybe even a spank?

Billy loves the feel of you sucking his cock, his eyes are rolling in the back of his head and he's trying to concentrate on licking your twat.

Since his face is so close to your pussy, you can feel his breath on your pussy, his breath is warm and it feels good, though his breath isn't on your clit, the most sensitive part of your pussy.

Billy is tempted to exclaim DX's "suck it" catchphrase and make his hands form a crotch chop, he may as well ask it despite you're busy.

"Hey y/n!" Billy called.

Your eyes looked at him.

"Can I shout 'suck it' and crotch chop at you?" he asked.

You nodded your head, your hand forming a "thumb's up" motion.

Billy smiled hearing your response, and he has such an infectious, warm smile.

Your mouth slightly grinned when he smiled at you.

He moved his hands over his genitals, where he crossed his hands at the wrist and made them form an "x" shape.

He raised those crossed hands up a few inches only to quickly drop them down.

"Suck it!" he exclaimed, but not too loud since he's in a hotel room.

You were trying not to giggle and laugh while you sucked his cock.

He then slid his hands apart from the wrists and made his hands form a "v" shape at what's known as his "cum gutters".

His fingers were attached to one another when his hands were across from each other on opposite cum gutters, raising his hands up from them, only to quickly drop them down.

"Suck it!" he quietly exclaimed.

DX's "suck it" should be a compliment, not an insult.

He could crotch chop and say "suck it" all night.

He, too, was trying to keep a straight face and not burst out into laughter.

You proceeded to suck his cock until after he cums.

But before he came, one thing he thought of doing to you is rubbing the tip of his finger on your clit to help you cum.

"Hey y/n" he said again, which made your eyes shift and look at him.

"Can I rub your clit?" he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders.

Either way, it's up to him.

He can do it, he can't.

"Is that a 'yes' or a 'no'?" he asked.

"Either way is fine" you suggested, your mouth no longer wrapped around his shaft.

He nodded his head.

"Thanks" he rewarded.

"You're welcome!" you answered, smiling at him.

Your head leaned back into his erection, his cock entering your open mouth and lips wrapped around his shaft again, proceeding to suck his cock again.

His index finger slid in between your pussy flaps, but not up your twathole.

When his index finger reached where your clitoris is, he proceeded to rub up and down that clit with the tip of his index finger.

He knows where the clitoris is thanks to reading sex education books growing up, as well as from all of the ringrats and groupies he's had sex with, including you.

The clitoris is one of the most sensitive parts of a woman's body, and he knows that.

He also pressed your clit a few times with the pad of his index finger.

He knows how sensitive your clit is and how you enjoy it when anyone presses their finger on your clit.

He's driving you crazy by rubbing your clit.

"Mmmmmm" you mumbled and muttered while he rubbed your clit.

You want to say something, but you're busy sucking his cock!

Speaking of cocks, you've sucked his dick for quite a long time.

Such a long time, that eventually, Billy released such a throaty groan out of his mouth, his eyes shutting tight like he stubbed his toe and his slit released his cum out into your mouth.

That isn't a problem for you, you gulped and swallowed his cum down, as well as licked up and down his shaft, licking up any precum or cum that dripped down his shaft.

Billy was contemplating to finger your twat or not, as in slid his finger inside your pussy hole.

"Hey y/n!" he said to you, which made your eyes turn and look at him.

"Can I put my finger up your pussy hole?" he asked.

Hmmmm, good question.

While putting his finger up your cunt is fine, but you do want him to do other things to you besides finger your twat, and you've thought of him rubbing you until you cum.

You'd like for him to eat up that cum you might release with his tongue.

"I've thought of letting you rub my clit until I cum" you confessed "And you'll get cum on your finger if you put your finger up my pussy"

He nodded his head.

"But the center of your pussy will still be salty and gooey in cum!" he argued.

"Yeah, but I'll probably make your entire index finger drenched in cum!" you fought back. "What if it was my entire pussy instead?"

"What's wrong with my finger covered in your cum?" he asked.

Nothing, really, but you prefer him if he ate your twat out.

"Nothing, really" you admitted "But I prefer you tonguing my pussy"

"What if I finger your pussy a few seconds before you cum?" he suggested.

"Ehhhh, maybe" you suggested, shrugging your shoulders.

Later on that evening, Billy brushed his tongue up your twat, up the middle of it and your pussy flaps, sometimes the tip of his tongue tried to reach out to touch your clit.

At the beginning of 1999, when Triple H wore that DX jersey that had the number 69 on the back of it, you and Triple H 69'ed each other while wearing those DX jerseys.

______________________________________________________________

I actually did think of typing a fanfic where the fem reader is having sex with Billy Gunn during his RockaBilly era circa April 1997, or at the end of 1996 when he was still with the Smoking Gunns while doing it with him "reverse cowgirl" as it's called (since his gimmick during the majority of the 90's was a cowboy, and in 1997 his gimmick was a rockabilly/country singer), though I've already written a fanfic like that but with Shawn Michaels.

I also thought of writing a fanfic where the fem reader has a threesome with Billy Gunn and his former tagteam partner Bart Gunn, though I've written so many threesome fanfics.

#billy gunn #1999 #90s #wwf #birthday #happy birthday #fanfiction #attitude era #wwf attitude #dx #d generation x

2 notes · View notes