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#GUESS WHAT IM GOING TO EAT SOMETHING
rapidhighway · 4 months
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ouough i know it varies person to person but i personally end up overeating on various snacks throughout the day, than not eating anything at all. I guess it's harder to make a funny haha adhd meme about food when you're basically letting people know you eat a lot and you may be overweight or even obese. That can endanger your online space. So I'm not that surprised you don't really see many posts about that.
And as I said previously it's more socially acceptable to talk about how your disorder makes you starve than how it makes you eat to much. A lot of people in the ed community also consider starving something worthy of praise so it's easy to fall into reblogging posts and memes like this. Idk what im saying i forgot again goodbye fdsbg
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lunarharp · 3 months
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
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they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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bitegore · 3 months
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god i really forgot that every business management professor specifically is the most unpleasant human being alive for no good reason. i have two business classes with like econ and accounting professors respectively and those look fine and then oh my god if i have to go back to this class with this professor i think i might actually kill myself
#red rambles#she's not. *mean*. she is. um. fucking. i think condescendiing is the word#she made us do a kahoot in class on questions we didn't know explicitly because she knew we didn't know them. i hate kahoots#she went through the syllabus like we were children which. fine whatever every professor does that it's why i hate the first class#but she also kept going off topic to give us life advice. never give me life advice ill fucking kill you#im really not sure what else was my fucking problem but i genuinely felt like i was being psychologically tortured#also i have done one of the several assignments for the class already and they're babyshit but its going to be one of my most#busywork heavy classes and she wants us doing discussion questions every fucking week#and i have to download yet another fucking app for her class#and i need it for my degree plan but oh my GOD. i need to get the fuck out of it#im gonna try and find a different session of the class taught by a different professor and switch in#do you know how much i have to hate a class if im willing to eat two entire finished homework assignments to get out of it#eta. i take it with this professor or i take it with a different professor i know and already know i cant stand#who is also going to work us like dogs unlike this prof who is going to apparently treat us like we are 14 years old#i guess its not college if i'm not being forced to experience psychological torment for an hour and a half every couple days lol#ill just have to like eat something before that class and do my best to fortify myself before i go in and turn evil
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ukulelegodparent · 1 year
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It's so weird growing up how fast you get disinterested in eating sweet food. Like I've gone from 'I can eat a bag of Gummi Bears and drink a liter of coke and have a big bar of chocolate in one evening' to 'i'll have sweet things sometimes but I get so sick of like eg Gummi Bears so quickly. A handful is really on the verge of too much sometimes' in so little time.
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lesbianaelwen · 2 years
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listening to the welcome to mountport recording again and just. how did they make themes and motifs in an IMPROV MUSICAL???
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arcadequeerz · 11 months
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I just do not give a single shit about lg-bt-q disc-ourse anymore.
#Cade.Txts#sorry i jsut do not care.#i dont give a fuck about what flag someone does or doesn't use#i dont care about what people call themselves. stop trying to decide shit for othrr people#shut up and fuck off n leave people alone. u dont havr to 'understand' to be respectful#Idc if people use the blue 'gay' flag who cares. use whatever flag u want.#shut the fuck up about mspec gay people we're doing nothing wrong n if i have someone try n start#some shit w me about how i personally identify i will maul them through the god damn internet. shut up.#eat shit. i dont owe a explanation to u about why i'm abro ply gay n if u demand me to explain#im going to tell you to fuck off.#who the fuck cares what people call themselves. u might not like being called queer or whatever n thats cool#but some people do and thats nit a fucking slight aganst u.#and i say 'you' as just in general i guess. this isn't pointed at a specific person.#i dread pride month every year because people r going to throw some shitfit about something snd i jsut#i dont care. can we care about shit that fucking matters instead.#if u legimately call urself a exclusionist in 2023 your a shitstain and do nothing for the community.#grow the fuck up or get the fuck off the internet.#sorry i saw shit n i got mad lol. i'm so tired of peoples bullshit. worry about shit tht matters n not#how someone else identifies or what someone calls themselves- or what flag someone uses.#i'm just going to be unabashedly full of rage now.#i'm queer n trans n im pissed the end.
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nnugatoryextravagance · 2 months
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attenjtion freaks
its me
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zenithpng · 19 days
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‼️‼️ tw for suicidal ideation + vent in tags
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Whenever this gets brought up my mom always says "aw I know how you feel I have body dysmorphia too :(" bro I don't have body dysmorphia I know I'm skinny and most of the time I like how I look that's not even the problem so literally just stop brining it up constantly
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crushpunchh · 2 months
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nothing serious just thoughts about a DR au that i got embarrassed about putting up here <3
#thinking about my DR au#sorta a swap au in the sense that people are in different roles but like its not a 1:1 swap situation#also theres some insanely detailed subplot with spamton who isnt even very important. might make the roles less defined because its actuall#absurd.#anyway. what im thinking about is specifically the snowgrave equivalent#and how Absolutely Hilarious it would be if after a genocide chapter 1 ralsei just called up lancer like IF I TELL YOU TO DO ANYTHING WEIRD#TOMORROW. DONT LISTEN TO ME. PLEASE?#and then in ch2 lancer basically went LOL no. im not doing that. and theres just no snowgrave because ralsei thought Oh God Oh Fuck#What If Other People Get Involved In This Too.#lancer voice ohhhhh ! nope :>#Only way to do snowgrave is if you did pacifist ch1. Otherwise Lancer will simply go ? no. and then tell susie ralsei might need to go to#the vet when they run into her because he is a little bit more bloodthirsty than usual.#crush.zip#crush.txt#love this au dearly. ralsei is hysterically funny in how he reacts to the possession situation#hes like okay i guess this was divinely ordained ! um ! please dont involve my friends in it though !#Literally i think if you play ch1 pacifist all he does after taking the soul out is make something to eat because he hasnt eaten all day LO#neutral/genocide ch1 though. like anything that in canon wouldve had the revolution not work.#then he calls up lancer like HI I THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME. IF I SAY ANYTHING WEIRD TMRW DONT LISTEN TO ME PLEASE ? PLEASE?#PASS ON THE MESSAGE TO SUSIE. THANK YOU. NOW I HAVENT EATEN ALL DAY SO IM GOING TO GO MAKE SOMETHING. SORRY FOR WAKING YOU UP. GOODNIGHT.#figure maybe in a hypothetical game situation youd be able to check his phone and see he called lancer at like 3 in the morning#no further context unless you try snowgrave.#im not settled on whether lancer WOULD actually just straight up go 'no lol' if you played ch1 like that#like i think the first few snowgrave specific scenes hed be way less down for but maybe it would still be possible? harder but stillpossibl#idk. i do think it would be very funny if you just straight up couldnt do snowgrave without playing ch1 pacifist though.#none of that 'worst possible genocide route' shit you HAVE to play ch1 pacifist or lancer will go Yeah no not happening ! :>#it would be funny but probably not actually good like from a gameplay perspective.#so no maybe.#I think definitely if ch1 was neutral/genocide there would be a lot more chances to back out though.
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wutheringmights · 2 months
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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
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mainfaggot · 4 months
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in conclusion, I have no choice but to try to recover again. or else another two years will pass me by and I'll be so fucking tired
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transbee · 7 months
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having did and being online in any capacity is so fucking exhausting because you literally can't go anywhere without seeing the most heinous takes about your existence or validity it's like. can we be normal. can we please be normal and Chill for like two seconds.
#HEADS UP: this accidentally turned into a huge rant/vent feel free to get the hell out el oh el#i try reallly hard not to talk about it too much here because you can. offhandedly mention the mere concept of did or osdd or any#dissociative disorder and its like. people will not shut up about how its not real or how its people being delusional or kids being cringe#like. can we go. two seconds without treating people with mental disorders like a spectacle. please. you dont have to have a ''take'' on it#idk and i also avoid online did communities bc theyre the most exhausting spaces you can ever be in and theres constant fighting about#literally anything and everything. like. maybe i would like to find a space to meet other people with similar experiences to my own.#and we dont get that!! we literally cannot get that. and this goes for a lot of mental health related stuff but like my god#and im very lucky to have other people i know in real life who also have did so i can in some amount have that support system (hah.)#but it is EXHAUSTINGG that people cannot go literally a day without saying something stupid about systems#or i can be following someone for years and unprompted they will saysomething heinous thing about did and hide it behind something like#get a load of how weird and cringey kids are getting online these days.#and CHRISTT thats a whole OTHER issue i REALLY dont wanna talk about because it has its own whole set of nuances but like jeeeesus#is it really so hard for people to grasp that brains when exposed to traumas at a young age will be affected by it in weird ways.#idk man ive been seeing a lot of offhanded disregard for systems recently and it's so normalized and it's starting to get to me i guess#i wish people could just go well this is something i dont understand and dont need to have an opinion on and move on with their lives.#what the hell ever this is all to say having did has impacted my life in a lot of complicated and intricate and hard to explain ways and it#sometimes painful and awful but other times is an incredible experience and ALSO. most IMPORTANTLY !#i should be able to make jokes about BEING FRIENDS with SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!! in REAL LIFE!!!#and not have to deal with SUICIDE BAIT IN MY INBOXX BECAUSE OF IT!!!#WHATEVERRR !!! RANT OVARRR I HAVE NOODLES TO MAKE AND EAT#.... WITH my friend SHADOW!!!#.txt#and btw this isnt about anyone ik here so dont worry im not upset with any mutuals etc etc and all that.#in fact i love getting the chance to chat about it n it can be fun to teach stuff to people who know how to like...be normal about it LOL#<3
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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years
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hearing my professor say "sex workers" in class after and while literally and explicitely talking about nonwestern victims of sex trafficking using those terms like. im gonna eat my own tongue. im gonna scream so loudly and so silently it will burst my lungs. im going to become a black hole.
in general i find that term to be so fucking offensive bc it can only maybe apply to a very very small minority of well off economically privileged women who "choose" to do "sex work" (and even many of them talk abt feeling exploited - almost like prostitution is inherently expolitative wow) but. you know sometimes those "sex workers" are the only ones ppl rly picture, they dont picture street prostitution, hitckhiker hookers, sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, that the averege age of entering prostitution is 14, drug addiction, pimps, constant violence, etc
but. dear lord help me. in the context of literally taking explicitely about victims of "sex" trafficking in relation to poverty. to still have this postmodern god forsaken fucking nightmare so dug into your hear you say SeX WoRkErs;;; I ;;; I. Honestly im so offended. Its so fucking offensive. Like i almost wanna fucking cry. And she aint even white lmao shes indian like maam as a fellow immigrant please stop parroting the western bullshit i beg you. its so god damn fucking offensive and this bullshit is passed off as progressive and right and parroted by professors and taught as a given and preached and taught uncritically and then parroted by students and then. someone posts it online and some idiot reads it tells it to another idiot who tells it to another idiot. And then this insanity affects the whole westenrn "FeMinIsM" movement. And then, not only do I personally have to deal with a bunch of fucking idiots who have the gull to tell ME how the fuck I cant or can speak and how I should fucking feel when they dont got a single damn clue, BUT ALSO. this sort of cultural fucking idiocracy leads to real life impacts. Ala, western european states legalizing prostitution, thus the horrid rise of sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, child pornography, etc, of mainly balkan, roma, refugee, immigrant, poor, etc etc women. Ala, there was this article written by a Romanian prostitute in spain. She was complaining about how because of this sex work narrative now even more men come to prostitutes bc theyve bought this bullshit narrative of the "happy sex worker" so. now, they have to put all this extra fucking emotional effort into pretending like theyre enjoying what these men are doing to them and like they want it and all this shit. Which, let me tell you, its a whole lot easier to just dissociate when you get used to being regularly raped than it is to have to pretend like you fucking want it and enjoy it too. Something along the lines, these men want your soul not just your body, and this much worse...... And how, because of this, they also have to invest more in makeup and shit to look "well" which fuether just sinks them into the whole cycle which is quite hard to get out of. So. So.
As far as Im concerned. All the god forsaken postmodern nonsense that is propagated in western social sciences academica - has real life fucking effects. It has. The things written, the things discussed, the things professors say. Ive said before, that maybe postmodernism has some academic value (though we didnt need french people to be like, yo dude did you know multiple perspectives on life exist? inssne!). But. It doesnt fucking stay in academica. None of this bullshit stays in academica. And apart from this sort of bullshit not even being "feminism" and being inherently detrimental to the unity needed for social movements, inherently complacent, inherently antirevolutionary, inherently fucking REEKING of western individualism and selfishness up the fucking ass,,,,,,,,,it has real life fucking affects.
Westerners whove never fucking been through any of this shit sit in universities coming up with all these fucking theories but who pays the price. Who pays the god damn fucking price? Who? For their thought experiments? For these societal experiemnts? For these bullshit western ideas of freedom and progress and feminism? We do. My people do. We do. God fucking damn it
#Im gonna eat glass#Im not going to stay in academia but if i was. I think theyd kick me out of the anthropology department#before i got my phd#fuck this shit#Someone needs to fucking do something about it. Someone needs to fucking critique it form the inside#which i can actually say i did lmao because i <3 showed up at office hours <3 and uhh#said my peace.#which im sure she wasnt expecting but. im also genuinely glad she listened. i guess#its a big harder to just cancle someone or tell them to shut up#when they tell you frankly tat they were sex trafficked as a child and come from one of the sex trafficking#capitals of the world#like. <3 sorry lol i have more a right to speak then you! lovely! great!#i didnt direct it at her in particular lmao i went a roundabout way of critiquing what i called privileged western bullshit#but im sure she also got that I was biting back against the sex work thing while speaking abt fucking victims of sex trafficking#AND lmaoo i did go on a very short but well put together quip abt postmodernism being inherently individualistic#and detrimental to movements and literally funded by the CIA in class lmao SOmEONE NEEDS TO SAY SOMETHING#just enough to get people looking and curious and wanting answers and QUESTIONING THIS SHIT#i came back to this country after being back home having none of this shit dkdkd#............. how you can even be from india and admit you've seen the horrors of street prostitution and still propagate the sex work shit#in the same breath is beyond me#it really is#and how you can propagate these western narratives of individualistic ChOiCe#while also teaching abt nonwestern concepts which view equality and freedom in nonindivualistic terms#...... maaam...... how is the cognitive dissonance not hitting#...... this was some weeks ago but like. idk thinking back on it its like#again lmao. its so fucking offensive. its........ how fucking deep do you have to be to explicitely speak about sex trafficking victims#stricke by poverty and call them sex workers#.....................#...#like maam. maybe youve been in this country too long. maybe youve been in westenrn academica too long. its time to wake up a bit
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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Why are there always new symptoms showing up?? I just want a fucking break ;-;
#hello and on todays episode of wtf is wrong with resident hypochondriac opossum#i think maybe im extremely dehydrated and cant absorb fluids properly from drinking them (i think this for a variety of reasons)#and its starting to become very concerning and i think i need iv fluids like asap but i have no insurance#and also if i did theyd think i was crazy and not treat me condescend me and possible even admit me to inpatient msntal health#also having severe pain in my throat spreading to my skull that feels like someone jabbing me from the inside#which could be a sign of a compressed nerve so that fun /s#jesus christ im so tired i need a break i need this to stop#the pain alone is making me dizzy#and making me sweat which is dehydrating me more#ive tried everything i can think of and nothings working#i drink plenty ive cut out caffiene before i drink electrolyte drinks i make sure i eat enough salt etc etc#and its NEVER enough#oh yeah cant forget the compression socks and two different meds i tried to help me not pass put#guess what they didnt work either#and now im worried that my dehydration might be causing my hallucinations because they arent typical for psychosis#and maybe even my seizures which is really really bad#like i could go into a coma and die if i continue this way bad#but like that cant possibly be whats going on right? surely im just exaggerating because of anxiety#theres no way itd be that bad#my gf is basically a doctor and she would've done something by now if it was that bad#but hhh#why do i feel like this#why else do my hallucinations get worse whenever i sweat or exercise#why else do i have an extremely fast heart rate and fainting and im thirsty all the time but the second i drink i have to go pee already
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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Oh yeah also to be exact for stream purposes, average playtime from all 60 reviews is 10-12 hours, but total range is 8-15, double for a 100% playthrough. You do have to progress in the side content to progress in the main story (complete x missions/get x points/get to x rank type of deal), and you'll probably want to progress in the side content to level up since it's money-based and that's the fastest way to make money. I'm pretty sure the variance comes from getting sucked into the side content (probably not likely for your playstyle) or having trouble with the bosses at a lower level (they're apparently pretty hard this time).
It also looks like the Infinite Wealth demo is split into two (an adventure mode with the extra cutscenes and another one that's basically the demo we've seen around). Adventure mode Allegedly doesn't have proper saves at the time of writing (this was an annoyance for one reviewer so I assume it's long enough to warrant that), so it's worth taking that into account too. Anyway that's about it lol don't quote me on any of this because my brain just shut off after a certain point <3
OK BET TYSM CHAMP YOURE A LIFESAVER soooooo doing Quick Maths in my brain i might divide the stream up in two if i start playing at 4:30PM and i plan to marathon it.
ill take a break 3:45 - 5:45 saturday morning since that's a part of my regular routine and ill feel weird if i dip on it. I Dont Need Sleep but god forbid i skip out on all That apparently. plus it's a good break period to get exercise in and move around LMAO
going from 4:30PM -> 3:45AM's like.....10~11 hours... so that's about halfway through the game if i get entranced by side content... if we do somehow finish it all in one shot then we can just do the IW stuff after my routine.. epic.. it prob wont be any longer than an hour if that so stream- AUSPICIOUSLY THINKING- should wrap up around 7~9AM saturday.
#snap chats#and then when its all done ill take the longest nap of my life afterwards LMAOOOOO#jk. ill prob sleep for like. a minute. imagine if i did art stream later LMAOOO NONONO maybe sunday.. if im really ill bout it..#some are wondering Snap Are You Physically Capable Of Doing Thaat and to that i say Yes. Yes I Am.#i didnt grind out buzzsaw mill raids on gaiaonline over night for nothing.. im a Gamer in my soul... a bad one but a gamer nonetheless..#i did it for ishin i can def do it for gaiden- esp if theres an audience and i have people to chat with#also the Break Time will be a great cut off point for recording so people who can't/don't want to show up for the stream can watch it#see it's all going according to plan..... it's all going swimmingly.....#i like how generous im being with my gaiden time. girl we know im gonna suck and take longer LMAOOO WE AINT DOIN IT IN 8 HOURS#maybe ill 100% gaiden off stream or somn if the side stuff really ropes me in#also im late as balls answering this OOPS my friends came by the dining hall and we all chatted. and apparently im going to aldis tomorrow#DONT KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED but i needed something from the store#just one thing thats it.... i thought of buying snacks and the sort for gaiden but i aint gon subject people t me eating on stream#ill just go with my wack meal prep idea from before LMAO#anyway SIXTY REVIEWS THATS HEINOUS godspeed brother... thank you for your hard word ill do my best to make your work not go in vain#idk HOW but. i'll try not to be lame and low energy during stream I GUESS THATS ALL I CAN DO#boo about Money Aspect returning BUT ILL BE OPTIMISTIC. i wont let that sour me until i see it#i wonder how long the IW demo will be- what it'll HAVE if people are upset about the lack of saves#again i dont think it'll be terrible long- an hour is my min so id be surprised if it reaches two hours#it'd be epic if i could do all of gaiden before my routine since then i can cleanly divide the stream but we'll see
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