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unclewaynemunson · 6 months

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It's a little past two AM when Wayne opens his lunchbox and finds himself unable to stop the smile that's creeping onto his face.

He's met with a note, in neat handwriting:

My dear Wayne, I hope you're having a good day/night at work. I made you some extra healthy sandwiches because of that cough you were worried about – I hope you like fresh tomato and lettuce. (Please don't get mad at me for trying to make you eat vegetables on your bread.) I also hid some clementines in your bag. I'll be thinking about you when I go to bed, and I can't wait to see you again in the morning. Love, S.

'Munson!'

He startles when he hears his own name and looks up to find his colleagues looking at him with various degrees of amusement.

'Who woulda thought?' John McMillan laughs while some of the younger guys let out wolf whistles. 'Wayne Munson got himself a lady?'

'We've been working here together for almost ten years and I don't think I ever saw you smile before,' Bernie adds. 'So she wrote you a love letter to go with your sandwiches, huh?'

Wayne rubs a hand over his beard, trying to hide his inclination to hide away from all those eyes staring at him like he's something funny. He has never liked being the center of attention.

'Don't act like y'all know somethin' you don't,' he grumbles.

'Who is she?' asks Logan. 'Can't be someone from the trailer park, you never were interested in any of 'em. Found yourself a more classy one? Someone from Loch Nora who gets the hots for a working man?'

Wayne suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at him.

'You got it all wrong, boys,' he says, hoping they'll back off soon.

'Do we, now?' With a taunting smile, John McMillan plucks the note out of Wayne's hands, and starts reading it out loud to his little audience in a high-pitched, faux dramatic voice.

Wayne isn't ashamed, and he knows the teasing is mostly meant in good fun, but he feels an overwhelming relief about the fact that Scott had been smart enough to not sign the note with his full name.

'S, look at that!' McMillan exclaims triumphantly, putting the note back into Wayne's lunchbox. 'So he got a mystery lady... Guys, who do we know with names starting with an S? Any girlfriends or wives we should get worried 'bout cheating?'

There's laughter, some guesses thrown around by people thinking they're funny, but Wayne mostly lets it glide off him, the same way he'd endure their comments about Eddie back in March. Granted, this teasing is much less mean-spirited than the so-called banter back then, but he still doesn't like to get involved. The less these men know about him, the better; that's a lesson he learned a long time ago. So he eats his bread – and even a clementine – while he lets them guess and pretends to laugh with them.

When the break is over and they get up to go back to their job, Bernie matches his pace to Wayne's.

'Look, you know we've been teasing you, but we're happy for ya, man, you know that, right?' he says.

Wayne pats him on his shoulder. Bernie is a good guy. He was one of the few men around here who actually seemed concerned about Eddie when all that shit went down. As far as Wayne knows, he never chose a side back then, never came for his nephew like those guys like Logan or John McMillan, with their big mouths and narrow minds.

'All good, Bernie, thanks,' he says.

'Does she make you happy?'

The question catches him by surprise; it prompts his lips to curve into the second unexpected smile of that day.

He thinks about the way Scott looked at him before they said goodbye this evening. He thinks about the sparkle in Scott's eyes whenever he talks about his students. He thinks about the way his hands held Wayne all through the night they spent together last weekend. He thinks about his neat mustache, his soft sweater vests, his long fingers cradled around one of Wayne's mugs. He pictures the private smile that must've surely been on Scott's face, a smile nobody saw, when he filled Wayne's lunchbox with fresh veggies and a surprise note.

'Very,' he tells Bernie, before slowing down his steps to be left alone with his thoughts about the man who will be waiting for him in bed after his shift, asleep and with his hair a mess, but waking up for a second to kiss Wayne's lips like he always does.

There is nothing that makes him happier than that one hour they get to share in bed together before Scott's alarm goes off in the morning.

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #wayne munson #scott clarke #clarkson #wayne munson x scott clarke #clarkson my beloved #fruity ficlet #gah it makes me so happy writing clarkson again #their presence is like a warm blanket to me #i missed them

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camellcat · 6 months

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I feel fucking crazy!!!!!!!!!!

(thinking about the way he convinced her he was still himself. his smile when she said his name. the way he said hello. the way he simply looked at her. how he had to act like everything was normal because he was so scared she was gonna leave him. the hurt when she asked him to change back, just exacerbating that fear even more. him trying to play it off as if he's totally fine with sending her home even though it's absolutely and utterly the last thing he'd ever want to do. his pride at finally getting her to smile, only to be immediately dashed when she snapped at him. the way he made the worst impression after that and scared the life out of her.

oh, just everything, all of it.)

#I don't think you understand how much born again changed me as a timepetals girlie #it's my favorite thing ever and I'm so upset it's not just part of the christmas invasion bc I missed it my first time around #like imagine how many people have not seen it!!!! gah!!!!!#literally think it's integral to watch born again. if u miss it then you are somehow missing so so much for them #I can't even describe why. I don't know. it's just important #y'know in the stone rose when he says hello after kissing rose. and how he says hello in born again. I think he says them in the same way #the adoration. the love. the relief. the joy of it all. fuck #maybe I'm romanticizing this special in my head to be more than it was but Idgaf!!!!!! it's so. it's soo. god help me.#timepetals #tenrose #tenth doctor #rose tyler #doctor who

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grillbyz · 2 months

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Save me undyne undertale,,, undyne undertale,,, undyne undertale save me,,,

#undyne #rye rambles #thinking ab her again and raaaghhh #the coolest ever....#raagghhhhhh #she is a big sister to me she is a comfort character and her comfort is gratious violence #ragh. i want to play ut again so i can look at all of her calls.....#thinks ab undyne and papyrus's calls a normal amount #ragh!#undyne n papyrus my beloveds.... our best friends.... i miss them........#gh. she is so so coolsies fr #<- everyone in the underground vc and They're Right #gah. i have a few wips with undyne in fic n art i need. to finish.#had a comic idea w/ undyne n gaster..... ragh........... undyne beloved #<- head so empty of thoughts but rotating epic fish lady in head #gh.note to self to ramble ab her more later bc she is one of the characters ever #the royal guard. a true hero. she carries on the hopes and dreams of all monsters. she loves her people so so much #raghhhhhh #one of the characters ever!!!!!!!!!

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10underoot2 · 19 hours

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What upsets me the most about all the bad writing is that Qot will be written off as something that started great but ended horribly. I have no hope . I don't think anything can save it now.

But this show has given us so many really good scenes. Scenes that made me cry....that made me fall in love....that made my heart ache. BaekHong really delivered and I wish, I WISH people watch it for just that cause they're an absolutely lovely character/relationship study. Some of their scenes have really been written and executed well. It's paining me to know all of that is going to be in vain.

Soooo I hope people say, Qot was poorly written but the acting, main leads and the relationship development/arc of the main couple might just be worth the watch.

#cause this show truly has nothing else at this point #im sad #remember those scene last week where KSH and KJW acted their hearts out?#remember that scene at the palace where we all swooned and ached with them #remember that scene where she forgot her memories and was still mad at him but loved him #remember when they fell out of love #remember how they were falling in love again #remember the scenes they shot in Germany #gah I hate it here #can they get scripts reviewed by a faw fans please?#like I'm sure a lot of us could've saved this show #i miss the good old first half of this show #crying brb #queen of tears #baek hyun woo #hong hae in #kim ji won #kim soo hyun #spoilers

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distance-does-not-matter · 6 months

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girl help i have brainrot for my own dnd character and an npc

#penni yeets her thoughts into the void #im just. RAGH. obsessed with her obsessed with both of them #asta #she's SOOOOOO she's everything to me #the girl who was meant to stay home striking out on adventure for her cousin #she just wants to find him. that's all. she misses being sunburned #she misses dirt under her nails and on her knees and sweat from the sun and not adrenaline and fear on the back of her neck #oh and her npc crush bought her a horse #he's so stupid sometimes <3333 #i'm. GAH. i'm literally having the time of my life #i love my dm i love my fellow players #i love dnd i love it so much #dnd

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tickle-bugs · 1 year

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BUGS YOURE ALIVE!!! Could I bother you for some McKirk? Maybe some bed sharing?? For uh...mission related reasons? Accidental cuddling?? If it's not too much trouble?? Do these emojis help?? 🛏🤣🪶💘

Anything for you beloved!!!!

Suite-Hearts

Bones thinks defecting might genuinely be better than this.

He’s not twenty anymore, the sight of his best friend shirtless doesn’t fluster him the way it used to, but it’s still…a lot, given the circumstances.

Circumstances being the honeymoon suite in one of the most notorious casinos in the galaxy, a room that couldn’t possibly be big enough for all the feelings that Bones had to fit inside of it.

The room is beautiful, granted—the entire far wall is a floor to ceiling window onto the glittering city lights below. Every inch of the place is plush in a way Bones can appreciate, even if it reminds him vaguely of a padded cell. Stocked mini bar, soundproofing--even a built in white noise stereo. The hotel had been sweet--they’d decorated the place with little hearts and champagne bottles, committed to celebrating the newly engaged couple they’d checked in as.

But again. The circumstances.

“Are you gonna glare at me over there all night?” Jim huffs and crosses his legs on the bed. He plays with his hair, still stringy from the shower.

“I hate this.” Bones clenches and unclenches his fists to stave off the urge to pace. He tears down one of the paper hearts from the ceiling and crumples it instead.

“Yes, you’ve told me. Repeatedly.” Jim sighs and leans forward, balancing his chin in his hands. “Honestly, Bones, I don’t bite. This isn’t much different than the Academy.”

“Uh-uh. We had bunks in the Academy.”

“Bunks that we rarely slept apart in, usually. What’s up with you?” Jim drifts over, pretty eyes sloped with concern. The full brunt of the hotel’s fancy pine soap hits Bones.

“Nothing.” Bones keeps his gaze on the floor.

“If you hate sharing that much, I’ll try and swing a separate room for you. We can pretend we had a fight or something. I’m sorry.” Jim squeezes his bicep. Bones’s mouth sours at the apology. Jim isn’t apologizing for the room, he’s apologizing for his presence. Bones knows that tone of his and he despises it.

“It’s fine. I’m just…not the best for these kinds of things.” Bones pinches the bridge of his nose. Guilt swirls and claws at the base of his stomach, making swipes at his throat to try and close it.

“It’s just for a few days. You’ll never have to do another espionage mission again, scout’s honor.” Jim fumbles his way through the boy scout salute.

“You were never a scout.” Bones huffs, but the promise soothes him some.

“Semantics.” Jim tries to crack his back a few times. “Want a drink?”

“Your back.” Bones furrows his brow. Jim makes a dismissive noise, scoping out the selection of whiskey and gin on the bar.

“Lay down.” Bones shoves Jim onto the bed with a eyeroll he doesn’t bother to hide. Jim squeaks as he hits the mattress and bounces higher than he expects—gravity’s just a little weird here and Bones can’t figure out how to work the in-room controls.

He climbs up after Jim and settles heavily on his thighs. Jim grunts a little and Bones affectionately swats the back of his head.

“M’fine. Really. I’ll go to the spa or something.” Jim hides his face, suspiciously shy, but Bones doesn’t press. Jim talks when he wants to.

“I’m not letting you waste money on that frilly shit. You want a free massage or not?” Bones gives his arms a fond squeeze. Jim nods, then deflates.

“Where?” Bones reaches for the massage oil. He makes a face at the gaudy and suggestive label before pouring some into his hands. He rubs his palms together to warm it, breathing in the notes of lavender, sandalwood, and something else he can’t quite place.

Jim makes a noncommittal noise into the mattress. Bones chuckles and smooths his hands up Jim’s back.

Massage therapy had been an optional Academy course but it had always been one that Bones enjoyed. It took a certain amount of trust in a stranger to allow them to know your body in that way. Bones wanted to be that stranger for people, he still does.

And with Jim, well—what isn’t better with him? That’s comically, cosmically, the problem. Bones knows nearly every atom of Jim’s being, even the ones Jim hides from himself. That’s their deal. They are bonded halves, binary stars, and they care for one another. Even when they drive each other insane.

“Pressure okay?” Bones hums, working into a stubborn knot near Jim’s shoulder. Jim moans and dissolves into the bed.

“Quiet down. You’ll make people think we’re really getting a use out of this room.” Bones’s face grows painfully warm as Jim makes another terribly distracting noise. It dissolves into a chuckle. Bones squirrels the entire thing away into a private corner of his brain.

“S’rry. Feels good,” Jim mumbles, pressing his face further into the mattress. Bones chuckles and continues his work.

“Stop squirmin’,” Bones huffs, working his way up the back of Jim’s ribs. Jim wiggles around a bit but doesn’t say anything.

“If I’m hurting you, you gotta say somethin’.” Bones leans down and murmurs, stilling his hands. Jim makes a string of noises, attempts to shake his head into the mattress, then settles on waving his hand around dismissively.

“Whatever you say.” Bones snorts and smooths his palms over Jim’s warm, soft skin. He finds his lower back and starts over, working his way back up, then down, and up again. The rhythm of it takes them both.

“Doin’ ok?” Bones hums, leveraging his elbow into Jim’s lower back.

“I’m in love with you,” Jim sighs, then groans, nothing more than a puddle of captain. Bones swallows the surge of emotion in his chest and concentrates on maintaining appropriate pressure of the elbow.

“Sorry. For the next few days, I’m a taken man.” Bones skimming his fingers slowly up Jim’s back. Jim shivers and grabs fistfuls of the blankets. He traces patterns between mottled scars and freckles, a little lost.

Jim twitches again, muffling something high-pitched into the mattress. It does, admittedly, take a minute for Bones’s brain to catch up, but once it does…

He slides his fingers ever-so-gently up Jim’s sides, over the back of his ribs, taking great care to wiggle against the ridges of his shoulderblades. Jim jumps, turning to admonish him, but Bones is back to the charade. He works his thumbs into Jim’s shoulders, then squeezes--just above the collarbone.

“Well h-he’s a lucky guy--holy shit--”

Jim shrieks, high-pitched and frantic, and totters off into a flustered flurry of giggles. Bones has never in his life heard him make such a sound, not even when drunk.

“What--”

“Bones--” Jim flips over and levels a threatening finger.

“--was that?” Bones smothers his laugh in his fist, but it bursts free when Jim’s face flushes adorably pink.

“You surprised me.” Jim crosses his arms and pulls a face. Bones raises an eyebrow.

“I surprised--c’mere.” Bones starts tickling him in earnest now, nipping fingers chasing each sensitive spot he’s come to learn over the years. Jim dissolves in his hands, giggles quickly graduating to full-on laughter.

“B-Bohohones!” Jim shoves lightly at his shoulders as he laughs, bright and bubbly. Bones uses the opportunity to slip his hands up to Jim’s collarbone again, giving another squeeze into the muscle just above. Jim flails, his knees slamming into Bones’s back--ow--and and descends promptly into a highly-entertaining octave of desperate laughter.

“How on earth are you this ticklish and alive?” Bones muses, skittering his fingers back to Jim’s stomach for something of a break. Eventually, he just pats Jim’s stomach and swings off of him.

“I’m never letting you forget about this. Every time you’re being annoying I hope you think of my hand right here,” Bones grins, resting his hand on the spot. He tries not to read too much into the clear giddiness on Jim’s face.

“Oh, you bastard,” Jim gasps, eyes positively sparkling. “I’m going to get you back for that.”

Yet, Jim does nothing but flop back against the bed. The extra high bounce shakes a few stray giggles loose.

“I’m sure you will.” Bones pats Jim’s head. Jim shakes him off, grumbling under his breath. Bones snorts, squeezes Jim’s shoulder, and trods off towards the bathroom, ignoring the indignant screech behind him.

…

Bones wakes up warm, beautifully so. Jim’s arms wind around his torso and keep him close, strong and secure. Some soft and content part of him wants to lean back into it. He’ll never get tired of waking up like this.

Bones turns slowly so he can see Jim’s face. He looks so different asleep. Younger, maybe.

Bones allows himself another thirty minutes of drifting sleep, letting Jim’s gentle snores guide them into the late morning. The room chimes a soft tone around ten or so, warning them of their impending loss of breakfast privileges. He has half a mind to ignore it, but he doesn’t really know what they eat on this planet. Jim can be picky as hell when he puts his mind to it, and they’re both useless when they’re hangry.

Bones starts breaking Jim’s hold, maneuvering him gently. The sleepy whining is par for the course, but the fingers worming into his sides? That’s certainly new.

“J-Jihim.” Bones clears his throat. “Let go, ya sleepy lug.”

Jim makes a soft noise and cuddles closer, decidedly not following instructions. Bones keeps tugging, but the more he pulls, the more Jim decides to tickle. Jim finds a spot on his stomach that makes Bones choke back a squeal, shaking both of them with unreleased laughter.

“Damn pehest. Two can play at that game.” Bones huffs. He starts poking at his ribs, still gentle, as he wiggles closer to the edge of the bed. Jim smiles and starts chuckling, his hold loosening. Bones worms his torso out of the octopus grip and starts slowly untangling their legs. He gets about halfway there before Jim grabs his leg and starts reeling him back in.

“Jim--”

Jim smirks and opens his eyes. Oh. Oh no.

“Gotcha!” Jim cackles, pinching at Bones’s thigh with reckless abandon. Bones screeches, his voice cracking hopelessly. Jim flops on top of him and starts tickling wherever he can reach, taking extra care to revisit his stomach.

“Y-You absolute—“

Thump.

Bones’s back collides with the plush carpet, along with a few throw pillows. Jim catches himself at the last minute with a yelp.

“Are you okay?” Jim laughs and peers at him over the edge of the bed. He offers a hand to help Bones up.

“I hate you.” Bones glares up at him. His lips twitch as he tries to resist the smile that’s already consumed him. He swats Jim’s offered hand away, then smacks him with a pillow for good measure. He goes to get ready for the day--someone has to be the adult here--but Jim grabs him by the waist and pulls him back into bed.

“I love you too.” Jim gazes down at him with an unbearably goofy smile. Bones rolls his eyes, but his face is warm, so embarrassingly warm. Bones goes to get up, Jim shoves his hands under Bones’s arms, and round two sufficiently costs them any hope of breakfast.

#my fics #star trek #ticklish!jim kirk #ticklish!bones #jim kirk #bones mccoy #mckirk #gah i missed them. forgot entirely how to write them but i still missed them #yeah i think they're just a little bit in love with each other and they don't fully realize how much.#also this was originally jim pov but just know. jim is squirmy bc tickles yes but also bc bones is on top of him and this is v intimate #did a whole yearning thing from his perspective and now i somewhat miss it #the collarbones thing happened to me ONCE and it was the most ticklish thing I’ve ever experienced to date omg

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rexscanonwife · 10 days

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Grrggh...good morning everypony = w = I rewatched the episode of the ppg reboot where Utonium gets a girlfriend...

#jane journals #self insert talk #🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#i woke up at 5 in the gah damn morning and MY HEADPHONES are gone so im gonna have to ride the bus w/o them >:[#hell on earth 10 dead 4 missing!!!#and i choose to do this before i go ajfjg #anyways this sucks #like im not bothered by love interests but this whole reboot is ass and the characters are badly written #but theres like....at least one or two cute moments where utonium is smooth with it >//<#it cant even get the FIRST THING RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO #in literally THE FIRST EPISODE he says that spiders creep him out and they basically just. not even ignore but contradict it entirely #for why? the purpose of this ep where the love interest studies spiders and turns into one ig #they could say that hes PRETENDING to like them because he likes her. but they didnt do that #ALSO why spider? why not werewolf? that would be hot #and the love interest is that bland brand of 'adorkable' thats so disingenuous #on the other hand i DO like spiders. and the way she talks to one and like treats it like a pet...yeah id do that ._.#and idk they always write utonium as way more harsh than he'd usually be especially with bubbles #he wouldnt tell her shes being SELFISH by not wanting to give away her last piece of popcorn to a spider #especially when she barely got any #maybe he'd remind her that its GOOD to be generous BUT NOT CALL HER SELFISH #but yeah....theres maybe a moment or two 😒#like when his love interest spoils a whole MOVIE for the girls and ofc theyre upset #but he holds her face and says 'everything i need to see is right here'...>//<#THAT was smooth #and idk they don't play with the idea of the girls wanting to break them up ENOUGH #they just write one fake email and its done. then spider reveal #it sucks maybe i shouldnt have started my day this way 😂😂😂#whatever hopefully work is good!!#and i always have og utoniom to think about 🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘

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tobasco-star · 9 months

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Thinking about thriller bark again

#one piece #strawhats #straw hat crew #monkey d. luffy #soul king brook #black leg sanji #strawhat sanji #i miss the rumbar pirates so much #i need to watch those episodes with them again GAH #calico yorki is so silly #im pondering the rumbar pirates like an orb

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bangcakes · 5 months

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#personal #i think that like... the dam's broken. for lack of a better term #or i guess the ice ???? idk man #either way. been messaging back n forth with him like crazy for the past few days #i just decided that like.... whatever. if i feel like saying something i should just say it to him !!!#and i think me being open has led to him being open....#god its so hard when both ppl only really talk when they have something to say JFJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJJD #like... i cant even make up a reason to talk to him. i cant pretend to be dumb n not understand anything. he'll know its bullshit NDJDJDJDN #n e way...... defs met my match here lmao. but really its been so nice just being able to talk to him when i want. bc waiting until being i #person was getting so !!@@@ long !!! like god. i didnt know i could miss someone so bad...... its so !!@@@@@@#gah !!!!!!!!!!!!#n e way. things are goin in the right direction #and hahaha !!!!!!@ i have a game plan to make sure we stay in touch too !!!!! me n one of my other friends promised to keep in touch with #each other and i was like oh should we invite everyone else. and she was like oh !! maybe ____ so i was like !!!!!!!!#so true !!!!!!!!!!@#gosh im so excited i really like them both so much we're all similar temperaments so ya..... ive wanted to make sure i keep them JFJFJFJD #n e way. we still havent asked him but hopefully he says yes !!!! bc he always sits behind us n im just like !!!! ik you wanna sit with us #so just sit beside us istg !!!! but ah ... i think hes shy #god hes so cute #and shes like not competition btw. like..... she has a bf. she knows i like this guy now (i spilled. i couldnt hold it in 💀💀💀). and ya !!#hopefully exciting things coming!!!

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zxal · 4 months

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I must not rewatch arc v. rewatching arc v is the mind killer

#getting the urge when ive barely even started sevens RRAAAAAGGGHHHG #its too late for me. go on without me #i just want to see celina again. and dennis. and yuri and lulu and yuya and GAH.#I just know. i KNOW i'm going to rewatch it and get mad all over again. good god #but i miss them. i miss them.....#let this be my last post of 2023 goodnight #.txt

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2aceofspades · 6 months

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SCREECHINNGGGGGGG

HIS EEEYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Oh, not that this was the first time, but this one made me tear up quite a bit. 🥲 Well done!

I hope you're starting to feel a little better, Ace. Don't push yourself to pump out pages, and keep getting your rest ❤️

Ah, yes...I was feeling well enough to draw lil Casey going through it. I'm taking breaks and all that when I draw as well. I really just got tired of drawing my sona and wanted to draw traditionally again. Gah it was very nice to draw my babies again 😌 I was starting to get quite restless..

Teehee!

#ace answers #i'm like so over being sick fr #i just wanna be done with it at this point #but!#drawing them again was a very nice distraction from all the sniffling hehe #i'm just too excited to stop now mehehe~#gah i missed this #:)

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istherewifiinhell · 2 years

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Following is an analysis of how Koisenu Futari writes it aro characters, aro narrative and what it intends to convey, and is also my own personal thoughts and feelings in regards to that. I refer to the characters by some stero- and archetypal categories because they are fictional, and how they are is a choice made by writers. I wouldn't say these things about real people, and you don't have to agree with me. Also of course its plot and character important that Takahashi and Sakuko are AroAce. But I will just be saying aro, because that's what was so revolutionary in the show for me and what I'm focusing on in this. Cool? Great, awesome. Let's go.

Koisenu Futari is a show that doesn't seem real to me. Part of my brain assumes, no they didn't actually make an aro show that actually cares about aros. A show that knows and shows aros of all kinds, all-be-it, some just briefly in the meet up group. But as I'll posit, ideologically this show has the space for loveless aros and all of us that really defy the more easier to digest notions of aro-ness.

Because, the thing that stuck me most about this show is that our point of view character Sakuko, is the newly discovered aro. She's a kind person with a sweet disposition and friendly to most. She doesn't relate to all the romance around her (including when someone is being insulting to her about the nature of her lack of relationships), but she is eager to please people, and doesn't like to make any trouble. She's younger and career focused that leaves people do assume any time she doesn't mesh with romance society is simply a matter of late blooming.

And enter Takahashi, the person who's words help her understand herself, help save herself. A person she meets and can finally feel a comfortable, understanding, connection with. Takahashi, an old aro, a bitter aro, he's someone who is knowledgeable about the societal construction and history of romance. He feels deeply the effects of, and understands structurally, amatonormativity. He has couple speeches about such things ready to go and bubbling under the surface, and given with an orator's tilt, compared to the rest of his conversations. And, he is epitome of your repulsed aro, your touch adverse aro and non neurotypical passing aro.

But of course, that's not the totality of what anybody is, and that's not all these characters are. Takahashi is a thoughtful and sentimental man, he's closeted even a bit shy. And through that we see his bravery when working against his reserved nature. He feels lonely, but not devoid of meaning or purpose because of it.

Takahashi's live does certainly seem much happier, and fulfilled. He maintains a blog, his garden, he keeps traditions the contented mundane rituals of life. And to me it brings to mind statistics about masking, being closeted, transition, and their relation to wellness. There is often an inverse relationship to the joy or peace of being yourself, and access to certain parts of society, or safety within it. Which of course, Sakuko, due to being younger and her general disposition, does pass mostly unnoticed in these spaces, but at great cost, some she didn't even realise, or really admit to herself.

Sakuko is, of the two, someone who comes across as more palatable to normative society. The kind of people and structures that might prefer to see aros in QPs specifically so they more closes resemble allo (& hetero) monogamous relationships. Kazu's plot line brings home that the expectations of a man and a women living together supersede the need for actually romance. So they aren't in romantic love, but shouldn't they still have the aesthetic patina of it. If you're a family should the woman not be a caretaker and the man a protector? And, obviously, no. Amantonormativity as a word, as a lens to view society, didn't even originate in aro subculture, and shares a lot of overlap with hetero- and cis- normativity for a reason. And the show's deftly handles how far that norm is from the reality.

Takahashi isn't, we learn, living his perfect life, for a mixture of reasons. Many that I would qualify under a flinch response. If you live your life in defiance of something, against others insistence. It makes sense to be resistant to change, headstrong and immutable. So he'll wholeheartedly commit to his own life, and respect others' choices and feelings. He doesn't talk as much as he simply acts, he wouldn't question someone even if he should. And he won't change his life if it may imply his current way of life is wrong, even if the change could be for the better.

So it is in this these two characters differences that their affect can be seen on each other. Sakuko learns to live a committed and more defiant life. She learns to do things that make her happy, to reach out and grab things by the throat, instead of settle. And from Sakuko who had to change just to keep being herself. Takahashi learns that he doesn't have to live just one way. He can change, if he isn't as happy as he could be he can take a risk, and if that doesn't work, it doesn't have to be permanent. And at no point do they have to change the immutable parts of themselves.

Obviously, there is no trick romance snuck in. But more importantly and, perhaps insightfully, what might be considered secondary character traits are equally respected. Sakuko doesn't have to endure more peoples romantic feelings for her, she doesn't have to stop being career oriented, or fun loving. And she doesn't have to be closer to her family before they can respect her. Takahashi, and this truly blew me away to realise. Doesn't ever have to welcome people touching him, or even being too close. He doesn't have change his affect or his demeanor in emotional conversations. The biggest changes our characters go through come from their increased happiness and increased desire to work towards happiness.

And if it wasn't clear enough yet, the end state of the show knocks it out of the fucking park, and directly into my, and I hope others brains. To be forever lodged in our subconsciouses. The prescribed ideals aren't what give us meaning. Straight couples aren't all perfect, sometimes romantic feelings cause you pain, and structuring your life so it seems familiar is never more important that if it brings you satisfaction and joy. Their lives, their family, their connection to each other doesn't end or stop having meaning when it no longer approximates the very things they were trying to live away from.

#some shit #koisenu futari #okay. i think. that is. readable. please let me know if there are any comprehension blocking errors. particular if u suspect #i missed a negative. im really prone to that one #i think im making some assumptions or implicate connections of a chain of actions and interpretations of them #but hopefully the jist is still made #im not necessarily gonna explain all the things i see in the characters that bring to mind how im getting to these assumptions cause i feel #like if u went thru the effort of watching this show in english you probably get the vibes.#also its just over 1000 words. so..#but yeah anyway. feels good to write. this is an essay right? and be able to do the conclusion by just coming down a register of formality #this actually had a different through line 2 edits ago. i was really just trying to say i like that the main characters come off #as different types of aros. thats cool. its good to do that.#also hopefully u all get when i say sakuko passes in certain ways im not saying she isnt those things. passing is about others conceptions #GAH OKAY. ENOUGH AUTHORS NOTE DISCLAIMERS

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