#FIRING SO MANY OF THEM AND RUNNING ON A SKELETON CREW
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aldkjfalsd
paying more than mortgage costs for an airbnb house that
was not even remotely cleaned upon arrival (MULTIPLE sticky handprints on every surface in the kitchen, dirt IN THE REFRIGERATOR, muddy footprints, carpets & rugs so filthy that we HAVE to wear our slippers & give up on mopping the floors because they get dirty IMMEDIATELY, hair [human and pet, head and pube] on all the sheets and in every corner that has never seen a broom or vacuum, unidentifiable liquids and stains on every door [bedroom and bathroom] and the sheets & comforters)
was clearly not built to code bc it's worse than a 40s house but was built in the 70s (the stairs are definitely not to code and walking through the house quickly is like walking on the deck of a boat out at sea)
was advertised w central air but that was a lie and it only has tiny wall heaters in most rooms and 1 space air conditioner in 1 room
has a window that is so poorly fitted that the worlds largest creatures can come through it and give me a panic attack and nightmares for a week or more, and we had to physically tape it up ourselves
has a fridge that needs a water filter
has multiple smoke & CO alarms that are malfunctioning and/or need batteries
advertised lots of closet space but upon hanging 7 shirts on the ramshackle, not to code, pathetically cobbled together "hanger" in the only closet that won't leave the clothes dragging on the floor, collapsed completely and was unusable (unsurprisingly given the WOOD ITSELF WAS WARPED FROM THE WEIGHT OF *PILLOWS*)
has an UNBEARABLE mold and mildew stench IN THE MAIN BEDROOM ON THE FIRST FLOOR and what looks like a MOLD STAIN ON THE CEILING which is BENEATH THE UPSTAIRS SHOWER
has no batteries, lightbulbs, screwdrivers, garbage bags, or anything else remotely useful in the house for us to use (the vacuum is old as fuck, dusty, busted, and has hair EVERYWHERE, and the broom is literally duct taped together)
the upstairs bathroom toilet is like an escape room or physical/gymnastics challenge to get in and out of
one of the single-room wall heaters is literally BROKEN--turning it all the way down means it cranks and stays on forever, turning it all the way up temporarily turns it off, and it only stays off consistently if set at some middle temperature, but even then it'll still turn on unbidden--and there is no on/off switch
the furniture is nigh unsittable bc it is so cobbled together and uncomfortable
the chairs are basically unusable from how small and uncomfortable they are
the mattress are MISERABLE bc they have the world's FIRMEST MEMORY FOAM on ALL of them
THERE ARE NO CURTAINS ON ANY OF THE FUCKING WINDOWS AND ONLY THREE OF THE WINDOWS HAVE BLINDS. ONLY THREE!!!! THERE ARE ELEVEN OTHER WINDOWS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!
everything outside is overgrown and in need of maintenance and care and is therefore unusable (there are just random dogtoys in places--inside AND outside)
there's just a used candle. sitting behind the tv.
the tv is TRASH and the volume is the WORST i've ever heard. we've trying fixing it REPEATEDLY. it ALSO is impossible to consistently get HDMI to connect to it/my laptop. i have to unplug and replug it multiple times.
the laundry room REEKS OF MOLD/MILDEW. it's also more of a closet. we have to have the fan on 24/7.
you cannot open the blinds on the 3 windows that have them. they removed the pulleys that allowed you to do that because "it was a pain/difficult to lower them back down" so they just REMOVED THAT OPTION.
the "guide book" for the home is CLEARLY outdated because it HAS THE WRONG INFORMATION FOR HOW TO GET IN THE HOUSE AND UNLOCK/LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR.
and we've only been here since last weds.
i'm wearing an n95 mask sitting in this bedroom because with my HEPA filter going, the room's wall heater turned off (bc that shit looks rank), and febreze odor eliminator sprayed REPEATEDLY in here after dousing the room in lysol upon arrival, the smell of mold is hurting my fucking lungs.
i literally want to strangle the ppl who think this home is in ANY WAY remotely fucking livable--and also, REMOTELY WORTH THE HELLISH AMOUNT OF MONEY WE HAD TO SPEND ON IT.
#and before ANYONE gets on my ass for this shit--WE HAVE NOWHERE TO LIVE#WE SOLD OUR HOUSE & CAN'T MOVE INTO OUR NEW ONE FOR 2 MONTHS#WE ARE NOT GOING TO LIVE IN A FUCKING HOTEL THAT LONG#we had to do that for 2 weeks last summer and that hotel was WORSE than this house that we have to ourselves#literally just i'm so fucking tired of EVERY HOTEL & AIRBNB being horrible#literally there is nothing clean or as-advertised anymore and i'm fucking sick of it#it sounds like such a bougie whiny complaint BUT IT'S NOT!#I REMEMBER A TIME IN MY OWN FUCKING SHORTASS LIFETIME WHEN HOTELS WERE CLEAN!!!!#INCLUDING SHITTY CHEAP ONES AND MOTELS! we just knew to not touch the duvet or the carpet! it was otherwise CLEAN!#and i don't mean Fuck The Housekeepers i mean FUCK THE CEOS FOR SHORTING THE HOUSEKEEPERS' SALARIES#FIRING SO MANY OF THEM AND RUNNING ON A SKELETON CREW#AND THEN DOCKING THEIR PAY IF THEY ACTUALLY USE *CLEAN MOP WATER* AND *CLEAN RAGS*#AND TAKE ~TOO LONG~ TO CLEAN A ROOM#and FUCK ppl who have an airbnb and don't actually do ANY upkeep of the fucking place#you're disgusting and horrendous and i hope you never know a day of fucking peace#for charging through the nose for what you KNOW is subpar GARBAGE#that goes for landlords ESPECIALLY
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Maybe this is it?
(Read on AO3)
It starts with standing just a little bit closer on calls. Their arms bump as they walk. Then the touches start to linger. A hand on an arm for a moment longer than necessary. A brush of fingers that becomes a bit more than that. Soon it’s their knees pressing against each other on a definitely big enough couch as they drink beer and watch a movie. All of it is a perfectly natural escalation of their friendship. They’re just that close. They’re partners.
The first time Buck brushes Eddie’s hair back it’s because his hands are busy coiling the hoses after a particularly gruelling job. He can hear the little huffs of breath as Eddie tries to blow the strands tickling at his eyes out of the way but it’s clearly futile. They’ve talked a lot about how they’re both long overdue haircuts but B shift is running a skeleton crew right now after an incident at a five-alarm fire and so everyone’s been pulling double shifts for weeks. There’s just no time.
So Buck does the only natural thing a friend would do in those circumstances and reaches out to brush Eddie’s hair back, out of his face. The contented sigh that Eddie releases creates a burst of warmth in Buck that sits with him all day. After that, it becomes natural to reach out and tuck the longer locks back for Eddie and see that warm smile that fills him with joy.
Even after they finally get their hair cuts, the gentle touches remain. Buck realises that after tough calls – particularly those involving kids – Eddie likes his hair being stroked. It soothes him. All it takes is a couple of seconds before the tension practically bleeds out of Eddie. His shoulders melt from hunched-up knots to gentle slopes as Buck rakes his fingers through his best friend’s hair.
No one ever questions it or really comments. The 118 is good like that. They’re progressive. They understand that male friendship doesn’t have to be toxic bullshit, it can be gentle and affirming. Buck feels his own personal growth deep in his soul. He knows how far he’s come from his 1.0 days and if he wasn’t proud enough of himself, the looks he sometimes catches Bobby giving, when he thinks Buck can’t see, would reassure him that he’s found his place in this world.
The memories of the lightning strike eventually fade. Doctor Copeland helps a lot. Buck works through the trauma and the confusion of the alternate reality he experienced while in his coma. And over time, those memories fade. He still occasionally wakes up in a cold sweat and has to text Bobby just to reassure himself that his Captain is still there, and is still alive. But those occasions become more and more infrequent.
What he’s not been able to shake is the empty memory of knowing Eddie didn’t exist in that universe. Sure, Buck barely existed – not in the life they’ve built together, at least – but Eddie? Pure and good Eddie. A man who tried his damned hardest, who loved unconditionally? He was nowhere to be seen. There’d been Hen and Chim, Maddie (ignoring the horrifying presence of Doug)... So many people Buck loved. But no Eddie.
Buck has come close to facing that reality on more occasions than he cares to count. Their jobs are dangerous and he knows every day there is a chance that one of them might not make it back from some of the worst calls. But that’s a hypothetical here. In this reality, Eddie will always make it back because Buck will always have his back. Buck will always put Eddie’s life before his own. No matter what Eddie says to the contrary. No amount of ‘Because, Evan’s will change that.
And so maybe they get even closer. Sitting in each other’s personal space is no longer enough, no matter how much of Eddie’s warmth Buck can feel as they press side by side. Instead, movie nights become Buck curled into Eddie’s side. His head against Eddie’s chest and the reassuring thump of Eddie’s heart beating in his ear. This way he knows Eddie is real. This way he knows he’s alive.
He thinks Eddie feels it too. The way Eddie’s hand curls protectively against his neck. His fingers pressed just delicately against Buck’s pulse point. It would not be noticeable if it was anyone but Buck. But Buck knows Eddie intrinsically. He’s familiar with every plane of his body. With every micro-expression. With every press of his fingers. He knows that gentle touch against his carotid is Eddie’s way of reassuring himself that Buck came back to him.
It’s that feeling of being so overly protected that makes Buck twist his head slightly and press his lips over Eddie’s heart where it beats steadily under his ribcage. A silent thanks and an almost prayer that it never-ever stops beating. That it’s reassuring thump continues to keep rhythm. To keep Eddie. Eddie’s hand at his neck presses firmer, just for a moment. It’s imperceptible really but Buck senses it – he knows Eddie understands. They don’t ever talk about ‘it’... About the trauma. They both process in their own ways. But they both move ever closer.
Buck’s shaking. His entire body is coiled tight with anxiety and every muscle spasming involuntarily. He hates calls going wrong. But particularly the ones where he’s right there. Where he could have done something. Ran a little bit quicker. Reached a little bit further. Been standing slightly to the left. Anything. Anything that would have saved that mom’s life. As it was, her two kids were going to grow up never knowing her. And it was Buck’s fault. He knew it was. If he’d just been enough. If he’d just been better.
He goes home on autopilot. He stands under the shower until the scalding water turns icy; until his flesh feels like it might peel away from his bones. It’s not enough. It can’t wash away the feeling of smoke cloying at his skin. Or the knowledge that he just wasn’t good enough. That he hadn’t tried hard enough.
He makes himself a sandwich because he knows he should eat, even if the food tastes like ash in his mouth. He knows he needs his strength if he’s to try again tomorrow. To seek atonement, or redemption or whatever. To make it right and resettle the balance by saving the next person. By being enough next time.
There’s a scrape of a key in the lock but Buck doesn’t look up. He can’t lift his head or turn to the door. It doesn’t matter. Only one person has a key anyway. And he’ll understand. There won’t be any expectations from his partner. Because Eddie will know how empty and cold Buck feels. He was there to see every moment of Buck’s failure. To watch as the woman, as Carol, slipped right through Buck’s grasp. And Eddie won’t judge him. He won’t love him any less. But he’ll understand that Buck wasn’t enough for Carol. But he’s there to tell Buck that he is still worthy.
A warm hand presses against his neck, fingers fluttering over his pulse point and thumb rubbing gently at the ridges of Buck’s vertebra. Buck knows he doesn’t deserve to be cared for like this, not when he’s let so many people down, but he feels himself relax into the touch. He feels his blood pump that little bit stronger through his veins. His extremities warming by just a few degrees but enough to make him feel a little bit less like a ghost.
Eddie doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t move closer but he doesn’t move away. He just stands with his hand a grounding weight against Buck’s neck until Buck is ready to lean back into the touch to press his back against Eddie’s torso and to feel the support of his partner holding him up.
And if Eddie presses a soft kiss to Buck’s hairline? And if Buck’s heart leaps into his throat at the press of lips to his still too-cold skin? And if he feels the blood rush to his face, chasing the high of Eddie’s lips? What of it? It’s just another evolution in their ever-shifting friendship. Another redefining of their boundaries.
Buck’s stopped dating. So has Eddie. Neither of them really have the time. Between work, and Christopher, and each other. They never really talk about it. It’s barely a conscious choice. They just choose to be content with each other. With that being enough. And on days when Buck feels so touch starved he’s not even sure if he’s actually a real, living human, there’s always Eddie there to hold him until he comes back to his body again with whispered reassurances and the delicate press of fingers to pulse points and lips to cheeks.
No one else will ever get it, is the problem. No one understands the need to do good in the world, the drive to help people and the adrenaline that comes with putting your life on the line for another human being. And the feeling of abject devastation when it all goes wrong. No one except another first responder. So Buck learns to rely solely on Eddie, and Eddie on Buck.
The rest of the 118 have families to go home to. Chim has Jee and Maddie to remind him of all the good in the world. Hen has Karen and an ever-growing brood of found family that they’re growing together. Bobby has Athena. And Buck? Buck has Christopher and Eddie. They’re an almost inseparable trio at this point. Buck can’t remember the last meal he ate alone. The last evening that wasn’t punctuated by some form of ‘But, Daaaaad’ pleas – be it about homework or bedtime… And so his life feels complete in a way no relationship has ever made him feel. Even on the bleakest days, he knows he’ll find at least a small sliver of sunshine. Be it in Eddie’s touch or Christopher’s wide grins.
Maybe this is it? Maybe this is all he needs. His partner and his partner’s kid fill that hole in his heart and make everything feel real again. That bone-deep sense of contentment and peace that he finds nowhere else. That ability to finally switch his brain off and slow down. This is what he’s been unknowingly searching for his whole life. This is what it’s supposed to feel like. To feel unconditionally loved, and needed, and wanted, and protected, and necessary. To feel like there’s always somewhere there, no matter what. The highs. The lows. The everythings in between.
This is it, right?!
#911#911 abc#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#my writing#purely vibes and feelings#please no one perceive me
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.::. I AM THAT I AM .::. ikarus ito
Citizen Profile Loading. . .
profile loaded.
ERROR CODE 1F1N1T3FUN: Some Data Expunged.
.::. A SICKNESS UNDEFINED .::. basics.
NAME: IKARUS CAELUM ITO
ALIASES: IK, IKKA, THE FOX OF EIGHT EYES, 1NF1N1T3FUN
AGE: THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD. [JANUARY 17TH]
GENDER/PRONOUNS: CIS MAN HE/HIM
SEXUALITY: PANSEXUAL // DEMIROMANTIC
HUMAN // HOST: HUMAN
OCCUPATION: DATA EXPUNGED - - - as far as you need to know, I am a friend. A netrunner and a braintrip cutter of the...shady variety.
AFFILIATIONS: NANO ZILLA. And any gang, corp, or solo with the balls to think they can run with me.
.::. IT'S MY KINGDOM COME .::. going deeper.
PERSONALITY: CHARMING TO A FAULT, IKARUS DESIRES ONLY TO CORRECT WHAT HE PERCIEVES AS 'SOCIETAL WRONGS.' WHILE HIS BANNER SEEMS AT FIRST SOMETHING WORTH WORKING BENEATH HIS METHODS ARE MANIPULATIVE MUCH LIKE THE MAN HIMSELF. A HEDON WITHOUT CARE FOR THE 'WAY THINGS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN' HE IS A GLUTTON FOR ATTENTION, POWER, SEX, DRUGS- ANYTHING THAT MAY FIRE THE SYNAPSE REQUIRED FOR PLEASURE- AND RIPS THROUGH THE THINGS THAT PLEASE OR ANGER HIM LIKE A MALICIOUS VIRUS WITHOUT DIFFERENTIATING WHICH IS WHICH. SELF-ASSURED TO THE POINT OF BEING COCKY TO THE EYES OF SOME, IKARUS' SKILLS ARE RARELY CALLED INTO QUESTION, AND HE PREFERS IT THAT WAY, HE WILL ONLY STAND FOR THE BEST IN HIS RANKS, SOURCING NEW MEMBERS THROUGH REGULAR 'TESTS' DEPLOYED ON THE NET BY 'THE FOX OF EIGHT EYES' AND REJECTING ANY WHO FALL SHORT OF STANDARD. DESPITE THIS, HE IS LOYAL TO THOSE WHO EARN IT, A DOGGED, STRONG-WILLED FRIEND TO HAVE IN ONE'S CORNER, DESPITE BEING A RATHER SLIPPERY ASSOCIATE IN ANYTHING TO DO WITH POWER.
AESTHETIC: WIRES COILING AND BLACK, BOUND LIKE CHAINS TO THE NET; ALIVE IN CODE || A FOX WITH TOO MANY EYES AND BROKEN, SPIDERING LIMBS. IT BECKONS TO YOU IN THE DARKNESS. || STATIC SOAKED SCREENS FROM YEARS PAST WATCHING WITH INTENT; THE GHOSTS OF WHAT WE WERE. || A REFINED BLACK SUIT SLICKED WITH BLOOD- UNBOTHERED YOU LIGHT UP A CIGARETTE- JUST ANOTHER NIGHT IN THE CITY.
KNOWN CYBERWARE: NEURAL UPLINK PORT STANDARD IN NETRUNNERS. HEADWARE RIG USED FOR ON-THE-FLY HACKING. SINGULAR PROSTHETIC ARM, MATTE BLACK CARBON AND RED LIGHTING ARRAY. IMPLANTED WEAPONRY LIKELY CONTAINI- DATA CORRUPTED. ERROR CODE: 2NOSY;)
HISTORY: CORRUPTED DATA RESTORED. BACKUP DRIVE CREATED. File Attached: FoxOfEightEyes.txt [TRIGGER WARNINGS: CHILD ABUSE, ANIMAL DEATH] [Mobile version of bio available in a google doc HERE] [hint: use the forcecode to skip the puzzle.]
.::. FROTHING AT THE MAW .::. connections.
CAT TO MOUSE; FOX IN YOUR HENHOUSE: The eponymous 'predator and prey' relationship- but who's who when the chips fall? Be you a Corpo burned by Nano Zilla, a gang member too foolish to determine you were being swindled before it happened, or even a Cowboy with your eyes on a pricy take- 1NF1N1T3FUN welcomes your attempts on his life- and recommends you come prepared.
FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT: An understudy/mentor relationship- a recently welcomed netrunner into the embrace of Nano Zilla and their base made in Dreamland, you followed the Fox of Eight Eyes and found its den to rest in the retrofitted depths of a once-bustling theme park; the skeleton of whimsy and fun now inhabited by the kind of people who treat the net as their playground. Ikarus only welcomes the best into his family, those willing to shirk the existing rules and demands of corporations and the government to seek building something greater- through technological subterfuge- he'll take you under wax wings, teach you to wind among the wires with the best of them- just make sure you know exactly what that means, when the time comes.
BITTERLOVER.EXE: The ever-present exes connection. Ikarus is a different man, in love. Dedicated to ideals and the ever-elusive 'better' his goals seem lofty- but oh, he always seemed to have time for you, and a carbon-steel fist that drives his crew so firmly was always soft in the quiet of a tiny apartment- but that was then. It's hard to recognize him now- you can't imagine you want to, because when push came to shove- Ikarus chose power over you. This is a connection for an ex who dated Ikarus recently, while he's headed and operated with Nano Zilla as an active anarchist/insurrectionist.
ISANYONEUP.MP4: You need help sourcing an illegal or otherwise damaging to your reputation braintrip and with some digging- you've found the editor who spun it. Sure, he wasn't the gunman that left your loved one dead in the dirt- wasn't the bastard who filmed the two of you having sex and sold it off after- but he knows who was, picking around in the BT with his editing software- he's said he'll help you, for a price- are you brave enough to take that offer?
ADDITIONAL CONNECTIONS
Childhood friends
Exes (younger than 19 years old/schoolkid ages)
Former coworkers (Ex Gestalt Bureau Corpo, abandoned his position at 23.)
Fellow Nano Zilla netrunners who work for/under him
corpos/ceos/high ranking officials he's got existing dirt on
Braintrip recorders/sellers who use his services as an editor
regular hookups
literally anything I'll take it all babyyyyyy
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JOLLY ROGER CREW: Open Skeletons Bios
BILL JUKES — Bill Jukes came to Neverland with a crew of privateers and a loopy explorer who was paid by the Royal Navy to go on an expedition in search of the fabled fountain of youth. Sick of working under the Royal Navy and missing his earlier years of true piracy, he jumped crews and joined the Jolly Roger.
VICTOR BRAXTON — Coming to the island seemed like a blessing at first, but Victor lives in constant fear because of how unpredictable the magic of the island can be. He’s witnessed others suddenly age decades at a time and crumble into so much dust. Victor is terrified that might happen to him or that, perhaps even worse, he’ll age as normal and the consumption will return. He’d rather be run through with a sword than die slowly, heaving out his lungs.
CANARY ROBB — Canary Robb was brought to the island as a Lost Boy recruit and they had loved every moment of it. Unfortunately, their love of Neverland wasn’t enough to keep them from aging. So as had been the case for so many Lost Boys before them who Peter Pan had deemed too grown for to be a Lost Boy any longer: Canary Robb was exiled. Now, they’re quite happy as a pirate.
ISADORA BOOTH — Pan had brought Isadora to the island in hopes that she would fill the void Wendy’s departure had created. Isadora was so wild and full of fire. Pan had been sure she would love the freedom the island gave her, understand the wild savagery of it and rejoice. But Pan was arrogant and presumptuous. Isadora held no romantic feelings for him or the way of the Lost Boys. She knew a cage when she saw one.
#nrpginspo#skeleton rp#horror rp#mature rp#period rp#fantasy rp#peter pan rp#click the names to be taken to their bio!
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TWITTER 🐦
*my opinion, take it or leave it*
•••
Oh Billionaire Boy ran head first into the iceberg. The ship is sinking and everyone is heading for the life boats.
Watching all this go down, I can see three outcome
It goes up in a ball of fire, more employees get fire/leaves, leaving not enough to keep the site running
It somehow survives, either through is skeleton crew of employees or the user base staying on just long enough, and has it's own Renaissance period
It survives but it becomes a Alt-Right hellscape
Honestly I hope it's the first one. Hear me out!
I think other employees and the Twitter users should band together against Elon.
75-85%, that's how many employees Elon came in and let go without warning or made environment so toxic others left.
Now with new leadership coming in there's always layoff, but not like this. Employees/Teams that were vital to the company were fired. Employees that called out or try to bring up awareness of issues of a decision also fired.
I don't think Twitter should survive.
I want Elon to loose.
I want to see former employees find work either with better companies, or making their own passion project.
I want the users to support the employees. Band together to remind Elon that his site can't run without the people.
•••
But it's not all bad.
Other sites are seeing a user base boom.
Tumblr is heading into a Renaissance.
Pillowfort has open their site free to new users, making it more accessible.
Instagram might see enough artist come back and might force them away from E-commerce and influencers.
Ko-Fi, a site made for artist, is getting a lot of big name artist heading that way.
The amount of Artist I have followed to other sites. My feeds are going to be giving for weeks.
NFT's and Crypto seems to have a hard time surviving on other social platforms outside of Twitter, Twitter did cater to them, so we might see those die as well. (Probably not but one can hope)
•••
Either way Twitter dying might be good for the internet.
A warning. A lesson.
To the the employees and users, I hope you find success on other sites or in personal projects.
To Elon I hope you loose everything, you money hoarding man child.
To the internet, learn from this.
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Week 12 Transcript
Intro
Extra extra, read all about it! Welcome to the Empire’s Recap, and today we will be going over the chaos and drama of our (somewhat) respected rulers!
This week, news from the Recap Crew has come in saying even though this episode is short - sorry, Joel - due to the number of uploads, we did our best to make this week very pog. And I am contractually obligated to say that. Let’s get to the madness!
Joey
[JOEY] Today I want to possibly expand on
this area, maybe move my cows that are a little overinfested - sorry guys, these living conditions are just not ideal for you, you’re literally in a pit. Yeah, please do not call PETA on me guys, I swear I will get them in a better situation.
[NARRATOR] Sorry cows, but pirates always have priorities, and the crew comes first!
Joey finally remembers the map he found in the Skull Fort, with directions to another of his missing crewmates, and sets to sea
for a rescue mission.
He runs into an unusually talkative “skeleton” in the middle of a typhoon, and a few shots set that “skeleton’s” boat a-sinking. Shame Joey forgot to grill him for directions to the crewmate first, but there was just something weird about that guy.
In a cage floating just atop the water, Gator the Armorsmith has never been happier to see his captain. Pirate Joe paddles them home, speeding up as they pass Sanctuary. Stupid Sausage and his stupidly beautiful builds.
[JOEY] Don’t go over there, yeah, keep looking this way because… you will be, uh, disappointed when you see the forgotten cove if you keep looking that way, so, good job Gator you know what's good for you!
[NARRATOR] With Sir Piggles “out on a very important journey”, Joey puts Gator in the fish shop until he can gather all the materials
to build him a proper home - a lighthouse to keep the ships in Forgotten Cove safe. The lanterns to light it come from Pirate
Parrot Pete himself, after Pirate Joe gives him a good dressing down for drinking on duty. He’s not fond of shirkers.
Inside the lighthouse, Joey takes advantage of the lack of fire tick to make a lava-fueled forge for Gator to work with, once he can finally get him to stay inside. Moving villagers is the same as ever, even if they’re pirates.
Joey terraforms the path leading and around the lighthouse, connecting it to his storage room and finally freeing the cows from the pit. He lures a few of them back into a fenced area near his sheep, but the rest of the herd is allowed to graze on the hill for aesthetic. De-cow-ration, if you will.
[EDITOR, DEADPAN] Boo. Bad joke, get off the stage.
[NARRATOR] A quick check-in on paper production
shows that Joey has built a second wing of the sugar cane farm, for once pages - and rockets - start flying off the shelves.
Now if only Jimmy could get his act together, so they can get in business!
Jimmy
The Sheriff isn’t very happy with deputy fWhip this week, for several reasons! Before the America trip, fWhip and many other server members came by on stream and ended up locking Jimmy in his own jail and spawn killing him - now, it wasn’t canon, but it WAS disrespectful! And now, there’s a warden in his base!
Looks like the deputy is getting fired!
Discovery of The Claw is next, and the Sheriff is tired of the disrespect! He needs some people who will support him, and what better way to do that then to bring in some residents for Tumble Town.
With the villager operations underway, Jimmy returns to the heart of Tumble Town and findsa “totally legit business” selling terracotta!
He arrives at the coordinates listed and finds the workings of some Tumble Town bandits hidden in a cave. There’s only one solution for this!
[JIMMY] Bon voyage Tumble Town bandits!
[JIMMY, FRUSTRATED] …Come on!
Take 3, double the explosion, bon voyage Tumble
Town bandits. Go.
[JIMMY] --blowing up everything! This ought to do it! Bye bandits!
[NARRATOR] Bon voyage Tumble Town bandits, take 4. The area is pretty nice though, and their idea for a terracotta business is a good one…
There isn’t any Boss in Tumble Town except the Sheriff. He takes down the signs and declares he has taken over the business. He’ll have to redesign the balloon though, it doesn’t agree with the style of Tumble Town - it needs to pop with colour!
Shelby
Great witch Shelby is working on her magical protections for this week - she works on creating a pond full of amethyst shards and tropical fish to hopefully keep away ghosts while looking very pretty!
Although we don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, it is suspicious that when she gets back from collecting some more amethyst that her pond is entirely done, with no sign of the perpetrator!
[SHELBY] Cave pickles are not to be used for dye due to threat of war…
gasp
a goat screeches
[NARRATOR] She overpays for some pickles from the Gobland pickle cart and explores deeper into the fog behind her house where apparently a forest spirit resides!
She hasn’t explored deep enough to know if forest spirits are a common occurrence in the Evermoore, but she certainly doesn’t
like the implication that it is staring at her house, no matter the intentions!
The underground of the Evermoore is just as scary as the above ground, and Shelby doesn’t want to traverse it alone. Sausage agrees to accompany her and she shows him her new scythe to reap monsters in undiscovered caves and mangrove trees. They find a lush cave where Shelby picks up an axolotl, some spore blossoms, and an affinity for lying.
[SHELBY] sighs dreamily Yeah, her muscles inspire me…
[SHELBY] Maybe one day she'll let me watch her work out.
[SAUSAGE] -yeah, yeah, Joey’s like, in love with Katherine, mhm!
[SHELBY] gasp But--
[SAUSAGE] He says they’re gonna get married! You better put a stop to that!
[SHELBY] splutters wh-what does she think about that?
[SAUSAGE] I dunno, I think at first she was like ‘eww’ and a little bit of puke came out whenever he mentioned it-
[SHELBY] phew
[SAUSAGE] But you never know! Maybe over time one thing leads to another and she's like ‘You know what, nobody else is coming after these muscles, maybe, y’know!
[NARRATOR] She seems a little flustered over
Cursed Princess Katherine Elizabeth, and I can’t wait to see her battle Joey for the hand of the princess.
[SHELBY] I have to make a plan. I have to make a plan
[SAUSAGE] –before it’s too late, she’ll be a married woman, y’know.
[SHELBY] I’m stronger than Joey!
[SHELBY] Maybe I have to duel him for her heart.
[SAUSAGE] Oh yeah be careful he has a gun. Well I have a wand!
[NARRATOR] Sausage has quite the accurate Joey impression. She’s pleased with her adventure and her new scythe - you’ve got to have good defenses with witches and the law on your tail.
One idea is to pretend to have been bested by the dangers of the Evermoore. They put her there, it would be convenient if she “mysteriously disappeared” if they visit.
Although… Her grandma would think she disappeared too. Shelby’s not sure how to contact her just yet without the academy finding out. Or what the end goal is with this hiding business.
[SHELBY] Everything’s going to be fine, right?
Joel
[NARRATOR] Doing Lore is Joel’s specialty, being the god of it and all - this week Joel returns from his trip to fWhip’s wedding and finds Joey has left him the Stratosphere gold. Naturally, it blows up - you can never trust a pirate!
You can never trust a fWhip, either, seeing as he left a warden in the Stratosphere bridge for Joel to fight. He digs inside and gets into a bowfight with the warden, though he's the only one with a bow. Fortunately, he only dies once to the warden in the bridge because he is big and tall and strong... etcetera.
[JOEL] –and some deep (x10) Lore! Which I promise you I’m definitely not making up as I go along.
[NARRATOR] The material gathering montage this week includes wedding highlights and pictures of fWhip’s dogs.
He is building a temple off the Stratosphere bridge with some warmer colors than the usual palette for Stratos. The lore is: Joel wasn't the only god, not that he can remember who the other gods were but anyway. The other gods are dead, and Joel and his humor remain in Stratos alone.
According to ‘Canon Deep Lore’, God Joel has a bit of a bad memory, but can remember the exact height of this farming god and not their name? Curious.
Hermes is back in Stratos with a gift from Sausage! This week’s gift is a custom designed axe, so Joel can think of him when chopping wood. In return, Joel brings Hermes back to Sanctuary with a mini stratosphere to remind him of Joel.
Sausage
Sanctuary was made to help everyone who came across their lands, including the warden in the present box right outside Sausage’s
storage room. He made sure to rescue the spider axolotls before working to build the warden a new home with them in Sanctuary - he enlists the magic of Sanctuary to help him make a pretty cave for his new warden friend to stay in.
For the safety of the warden, Sausage brings Bubbles into the banner shop - she is fond of eating wardens whole, so she’ll be a good protector of banner boy in case the warden escapes - ironic that, a warden escaping.
The magic came through and made a beautiful mix of Sanctuary and the Deep Dark to help the warden feel at home. Now all that needs to happen is to get the warden into the cave.
Phase 1 is to make a couple noise machines to bring the warden to the correct area, but it goes wrong before he even breaks the first
block as a creeper blows him up and then the warden shoots him. Twice.
The warden gets distracted by the first noise machine - Lucky, too, as Sausage has to fight a barrage of pillagers right next door.
He gets the warden trapped in the cave with the noise machines, and it’s distracted enough that the risk of being sonic boomed is considerably lower!
Now, Shelby needs some help on an adventure, and who better to help then the man who just transported a warden!
[SAUSAGE] --put stuff away, uh, before I, uh, strip anything else. I'm gonna start a stripper business soon!
[SHELBY] ...I'm sorry what?
[SAUSAGE] A strip- a stripper business! I strip wood for people!
[SHELBY] Right. Strip- strip-er. Strip- stripping wood.
[SAUSAGE] Stripper, yeah, a stripper of wood business.
[SHELBY] You strip wood which makes you- you're the stripper.
[SAUSAGE] Yeah!
[SHELBY] A wood stripper.
[SAUSAGE] Yeah, a wood stripper, that's the, y'know, job title, y'know, whatever.
[SHELBY] You are the wood guy.
[SAUSAGE] Yeah, I'm the wood guy, the stripper... of wood! Of wood!
[SHELBY] And the stripper! Of wood.
[SAUSAGE] Of wood. I'm gonna-
[SHELBY] Stripper with an asterisk, which means of wood.
[SAUSAGE] Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna let everyone know about this, I'm gonna hand out flyers of my stripping business, it's gonna be fantastic.
[NARRATOR] He arrives at Shelby's house in enough time for her to present her new magical weapons to him before the caving adventure begins! He keeps mentally hearing warden sounds, and they talk about Bubbles and traveling inter-dimensionally - Sausage makes sure to mention that technically that potion he drank last time let him travel into the past. It's not inter-dimensional, but time travel is pretty cool!
Sausagey the wingman comes out in full force at the end of their trip - Nature Wives, anyone? - but Shelby better be careful, Joey is going to fight for Katherine's affection!
Back in Sanctuary, Sausage celebrates having no visions today - oh no, wait, no he’s jinxed it. He goes to sleep and appears in a strange summoning circle. Voices speak inaudible words. You might recognize this place … dot dot dot…
Outro
And with that join us next week for more chaos and shenanigans! Thank you for watching, liking, and subscribing, and thanks to everyone helping with the project, check them all out below!
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Fresh wind on a hot day (1/9)
He really should have listened to his instincts and stay the fuck home.
Jim Street woke up with probably the most unsettling feeling he's ever experienced, the one that screamed bad things will happen. To him, surely. So like a semi-reasonable adult he was, the fearless SWAT officer decided to ignore that sensation of upcoming doom and went to his extremely dangerous job, feeling as if it could well enough be his last day on this planet. And maybe he was lucky enough not to die, but in the end, perhaps death would have been better than the humiliation he suffered.
The second their shift started, the 20-David got dispatched to multiple shots fired in an office complex under construction. The building turned out to be a twelve-story concrete skeleton in early stages of development, thus the team split up in search for potential suspects. Climbing the stairs up to the entrance of the eleventh floor, Jim clashed with a hostile trying to escape via the staircase. He swiftly ducked the few clumsy shots, quickly radioed his crew for backup and began the chase. Which was not easy, the floor on that level was clearly unfinished, the limited path was cluttered with materials, equipment and cables. Simultaneously focused on keeping tabs on the running man and not stepping right into one of many holes, he failed to notice when the looped cable caught onto his shoe. Few meters of sprint later, the cable couldn't stretch no more. The harsh, unexpected pull made Street lose the balance and fall down through the nearby opening. "Luckily" for him, the line was strong enough, instead of falling all the way to the ground below, the officer violently flew to the side, painfully hitting a support column he somehow managed to grab to stabilize himself. It minimized the swinging, but didn't change the fact that he was now dangling from the ceiling like a fucking chandelier.
For roughly ten minutes he hanged there, waiting for the team to finish the job, hand over the shooters and come to his rescue. Another five it took them to stop laughing hysterically before examining the situation their teammate found himself in and agreeing external resources were needed to safely get him down.
-This is the funniest shit I've ever seen. -chuckled Chris, wiping away the tears, having a hard time keeping composure when her best friend slowly spun in circles like a shish kebab, frowning furiously and cursing his luck once in a while.
-Chris, shut up and focus on recording. -ordered Hondo, poorly hiding a wide smile behind his hand. -No one's gonna believe without a proof.
-I see it with my own eyes and still cannot believe it. -hummed Luca, cautiously observing the younger man. What happened to him might have been funny, although the cable could snap at any moment. Jim wasn't hanging that high, but could still break his neck upon impact. -Send me those pictures later, Chris, so I can print one and hang it in my locker.
-Do you think this cable will hold him long? -wondered Tan taking some pictures himself.
-He's not that heavy, I bet he could hang up there a whole day. -responded nonchalantly Deacon, looking outside at the pulling up firetruck. Shortly, six people emerged out of it, grabbed some equipment and quickly headed inside.
-Should I cancel the firefighters? -snorted Chris, waving at Street when his face was in direct view.
-This! Is! Not! A circus show! -he screamed. -Take me the fuck down!
-We told you there is no way! -she shouted back. -Gotta wait for the fire guys!
-How long?! -Jim whined. -Not to complain, but this position is rather uncomfortable, and I think I can't feel my leg anymore!
-You think?! -exclaimed worryingly Luca. The relaxed atmosphere suddenly tensed. Street losing feeling in his leg was no joke. He needed to get down, now. -Where the fuck is that backup?!
-Right here! -called out a calm, male voice coming from the staircase direction. An older firefighter emerged from the entrance, followed by five more. Hondo quickly approached the man to let himself known as the leader of this Doom Squad. He briefly introduced himself as Captain Nash and proceeded to assess the situation. -We will have your guy back down in no time.
Two younger firefighters, Eddie and Buck, were sent upstairs while the rest debated if the air cushion they have on them would fit in the limited space. It wouldn't. The second-best option was to simply pull the stranded officer up.
-Can't pull him up Cap, rough edges could tear the cable. -reported the blonde man upon returning from the higher floor, making Street sigh very loudly. He didn't need any more bad news, he needed solutions. Luckily, the firefighter had one: -I say I lower myself from up there, grab him, then we cut the cable and go down.
Captain Nash frowned furiously before nodding eagerly:
-Okay, let's do it. Take Ravi with you.
The three guys quickly moved back up with necessary equipment. At that point, Jim couldn't give any more fucks. He was not feeling well. It's been around twenty minutes since he fell. His head was pounding, eyes tired out, the tied ankle was getting numb, in contrast to the bruised arm that began to burn. The officer was dozing off slightly when some small concrete pieces bounced off his uniform and flew down. He looked up to see one of the firefighters standing at the edge of the opening, cheerfully talking to the others working upstairs before beginning to carefully lower himself on the line he was attached to.
-Hey Jim, I am Buck, you okay up here? -asked the man, assessing the situation from closer perspective. He didn't like how tight the cable was on the leg. It had to come off soon.
-Do I look okay?! -barked Street as the sleepiness got abruptly replaced by deep frustration. He absolutely hated needing help. -I am dangling like a fucking piñata!
The rescue guy snorted so hard the officer was officially ready to die from embarrassment. After apologizing profoundly, Buck explained vaguely the process of getting them back on the solid ground. The firefighter would put a harness on Jim, identical to the one he was wearing. He would then hold him still while his teammate cuts the cable. After that's done, he would rotate him upwards, and they would be lowered down. Easy-peasy, the firefighter said.
It was, in fact, not easy-peasy at all. At least not for Street, who almost vomited upon returning to "normal" body position, feeling the blood and contents of the stomach move around to the correct places. His eyes went so blurry for a few seconds, he didn't even notice reaching the floor until the injured ankle flared with pain under the pressure of his weight.
-Shit! -he cursed, tightly grabbing onto the firefighter's shoulder to regain balance. The man instinctively shifted and wrapped his arm around Street's waist. -Fucking hell. -whispered the officer, glancing at the throbbing leg. The leather shoe was terribly mangled, but still intact, hopefully saved the flesh from severe damage.
-How about we sit you down? -suggested Buck, with a compassionate smile, slowly guided Jim towards a stack of wooden panels where he quickly got surrounded by his relieved team and tended to by a female paramedic. Hen was her name. She gently took off the shoe and pulled the sock, revealing a prominent mixture of dark colors painted on the burning skin. Luca reassuringly rubbed the tense back of Street's neck when a quiet fuck escaped his mouth. He prayed it to only looked that bad. Being benched for a long time was out of question, not when he was still pretty new at SWAT. If he lost the spot...there would be nothing left.
-Huh, seems like the shoe and the length of the cable saved the day. -she hummed, slightly rotating the ankle, making Jim's eye twitch in discomfort. Seeing that, Chris moved closer to squeeze his shoulder. Maybe it was a rather hilarious situation at first, but in the end, her best friend getting hurt was no fun. -Some swelling, bruising, broken vessels, and a few pulled muscles for sure, nothing more than that I believe. -informed the paramedic as she requested an elastic bandage she then began to tie around the injury to prevent from straining further. -Rest and ice should do the job, but you may want to have it looked at to confirm. -Hen concluded, supportive smile flashed on her face. -Done. Are there any other injuries?
-No, I am good, thanks. -Street lied, not keen on bothering anyone anymore, he wanted to leave already and forget about this horrible day. The arm didn't even hurt that much, he could always go to see a doctor later.
-Want a ride to the hospital to see a surgeon? -Hen asked standing up, but Jim denied.
-I will go if I must, I happen to know one and their girlfriend owes me a big favour for being an ass today. -he smirked, pinching Chris's hand, who laughed mockingly in response and roughly ruffled his hair.
-Well enough to joke around, I see. -observed Hondo, putting a stop to the immature shenanigans. -Let's roll, shall we?
As it might have been suspected, helping a rather heavy man with one unusable leg get down ten flights of stairs was not easy. Both Luca and the firefighter politely offered to carry him, which ended in Jim saying he may be injured, but is fully capable of committing murder if anyone dares to throw him over their shoulder. So, the overly proud SWAT officer for ten minutes, possibly more, hopped on his one leg all the way outside, minimally supported by Chris holding him firmly. Once out of the building, Luca, bless his thoughtful heart, offered to move Betty closer. Street, leaning on the wall next to the entrance, was unwillingly watching the video of himself when the fire crew passed by, packed up and ready to leave. When the tall one emerged, Jim realized something. He hasn't even thanked him.
-Hey, you over there! Buck?! -he shouted. The firefighter stopped abruptly and turned around with a puzzled look.
-Thanks a lot man!
The warm smile that appeared on his, quite handsome actually, face before he nodded and disappeared behind the firetruck, made Street's chest feel weirdly tight. An emotional response he instantly recognized.
The Omega side of his was clearly attracted to that fine, Alpha guy.
---
Somehow, after being sent home and later forced to see a doctor, benched for a whole week Jim ended up in a bar, having early evening drinks with Chris and her partner Amelia, whom Street absolutely adored. His two favourite girls met, not surprisingly, in a hospital, roughly half a year ago. That time, it was Luca who required medical assistance after getting hit by a perp with a metal baseball bat so hard, everyone around could hear his humerus crack. The second the tall, confident surgeon with a fierce sea of long red curls and radiant, blue eyes entered the room, Chris was gone, visibly unable to form any coherent thoughts all the time the beautiful Alpha spoke. Before the doc left, she glanced briefly at the absent-minded officer in a very specific way, giving Street an opportunity to act. He knew well enough his best friend was hopeless at initiating relations with people she was attracted to, thus he ran after the lady and gave her Chris's number. The rest was history.
-Next time, listen to your instincts. -suggested Amelia upon hearing how Jim vaguely knew in advance some misfortune was overdue to strike him. -Doctor's orders.
-No need to tell me Ams, one questionable feeling, and I am not even leaving the bed. -sighted the cop, twirling the half-empty beer bottle on the coaster. He was still a little shaken up, the pain in his side now muted by painkillers kept reminding he could've easily died today.
-Hey, Street, isn't that the firefighter that rescued you? -asked suddenly his teammate pointing with her head at a man chatting with a bartender, bringing her friend back from the depressing thoughts.
-...yeah, it is. -Jim hummed, focusing his attention on what was his name? Buck. Damn, he looked real good in the uniform, although in the casual setting was not lacking at all, defined muscles nicely hugged by a pinkish t-shirt on a side of too tight, round ass clearly outlined by dark blue jeans. Simple, but effective.
-Which one? -demanded Amelia, absolutely passionate about any type of drama. She followed Chris's gesture and instantly whistled. -Woah, he's fine. You should totally go for him. -implied, making Jim avert his gaze.
-You guys think? -he frowned. -I mean, he is pretty hot. -added, once again turning back to glance at the handsome firefighter. Was he even if that man's league? It would feel horrible to get humiliated in front of the same person twice in a single day.
-When was the last time you got some D? -asked Chris, knowing well enough she's never heard him talk about any recent intimate encounters. And he, by all means, wasn't shy. Just not getting laid.
-Oh Lord, no clue. -he chuckled. Trying to get into SWAT and then working extremely hard to keep the prestigious slot was his sole focus lately, there was no time to bother with hookups, let alone dating.
-Exactly! -she exclaimed, supported by Amelia's eager nods. -Go! Maybe you will finally stop third wheeling us.
Seeing the firefighter disappear in the bathroom, he made the decision - fuck it. There was not much to lose, only some dignity and self-confidence.
-Wish me luck. -Jim laughed, encouraged by the girls, quickly gathered his stuff, carefully got up, and slowly limped after the man.
Buck was washing his hands when Street quietly entered the room and leaned on the heavy door, arms crossed over his chest.
-Hey. -he said eventually, making the Alpha twitch in surprise, definitely not expecting anyone to talk to him.
-I know you. -observed intelligently the firefighter as he turned around, initial confusion in the blue eyes swiftly turned into joyful gleam. -Hi there, officer. -he smiled, drying his hands with a paper towel. -How's the leg?
-Fixable. -Jim answered shortly, starting to overheat, feeling as it was a big mistake to attempt flirting with such an attractive person. He had no idea what to say. Or how to escape.
-That's good to hear. -Buck nodded, throwing the paper away. -Is there anything else I could help you with? -he asked, taking a few steps closer, gazing at the cop in a way the older man couldn't exactly place. Like he wanted something but wasn't going to say what, rather waited for Jim to give it to him. And for the love of God, Street hoped he is not wrong about it because he was about to risk it all.
-I'm not sure. -murmured the officer, not breaking the intense eye contact. -Depends if you are willing to assist me once again. -he added, suddenly pushing himself away from the door and not at all purposefully losing balance on the injured ankle to have the firefighter instinctively stabilize him. The large hands holding the waist burned terribly on Jim's sensitive to touch skin, as his own, greedy palms attached themselves to Buck's hard chest.
He couldn't believe this silly stunt actually worked.
-My duty is to serve the ones in need. -smirked the blonde man, lowering his face to capture Street's lips in a long, sweet kiss. -Hmm, that's unexpected. -he whispered once they parted, nuzzling the soft cheek as he inhaled the surprising, very pleasant scent. -Would you like us to move somewhere more...suitable to continue? -wondered, wrapping his strong arms around the other man in a tight, possessive embrace.
-Yes, please.
---
The second they entered Buck's apartment and the firefighter pinned him against the door, Jim's mind went completely blank.
Their starved lips instantly crashed, tongues intertwined, exploring the depths of wet mouths as the desperate hands roamed the muscular bodies, sneaked under the shirts in search for skin-to-skin contact. Street's lungs struggled to breathe, filled with that amazing smell of an aroused Alpha, who growled when their hips crashed, pressing together the obvious erections. Upon hearing the dominant sound, the officer barely kept his composure, not keen on the Omega side taking charge. Trying to stay in control, he groped Buck's ass with one hand while the other travelled up to the bright, silky strands, entangled itself in them and pushed the head down to deepen the heated kiss.
-Where is your fucking bed? -he demanded, backing away far enough to roughly pull the younger man's hair towards the back to get better access to that beautiful, fragrant neck. He sucked onto the sensitive flesh, leaving a trail of red marks accompanied by a series of very loud moans, Buck's trembling in pleasure body went all limp in his lover's arms. It was so fucking hot.
-Upstairs. -the firefighter managed to say, his previously sharp gaze now glossy, head still tilted up as he pointed at the staircase. There was no way in hell Jim was climbing it with this injury. He completely let go of Buck, confusing him horribly, but before he asked what's wrong, Street rolled his eyes, threw his arms around the marked neck and whispered:
-I'll let you carry me this one time.
And oh, Buck didn't need to hear no more. Swiftly grabbed the muscular thighs and effortlessly pulled the cop up, which was quite impressive considering how heavy Jim was. He quickly moved them to the bedroom, further turned on by the Omega's hard cock pressed to his stomach, and gently lowered him onto the mattress. Not wasting any time, he started unbuckling Street's strained pants while he got rid of his shirt, hoping his developing bruising gets left unnoticed in the weak light.
The firefighter slid his palm under Jim's ass to lift the hips in order to pull the jeans down, making him gasp in relief when the pressure on his penis lessened. The soaked underwear quickly followed, leaving him completely naked, while Buck was yet to undress.
-Enjoying the show? -he barked, biting off moans as calloused fingers tenderly grazed his abs, trailing down towards the flushed head, but not touching it, just lingering around the prominent erection, teasing.
-I do. -snorted the Alpha, taking off his own shirt, revealing a breathtaking, athletic body covered in odd tattoos. At this point Jim wasn't sure if he's going to survive seeing what's under those pants that soon joined the rest of clothing on the floor. His heart briefly stopped.
It was fucking huge.
Street has seen dick before, although only in Betas and never so big. He swallowed heavily, wondering how this monster is going to fit inside without tearing him apart. Buck, oblivious to his lover's worries, leaned over the cop and kissed him while his hand got to work down there, one finger easily slipping into the leaking hole, promptly joined by another. Their horny dicks rubbed each-other as he stretched the entrance, trying to prepare it to easily accommodate his width. Jim was melting, his mind going in wrong directions, Alpha-pleasing noises started involuntarily escaping his throat as the firefighter penetrated him skillfully. A long, low-tone groan escaped Buck's lips when he abruptly pulled away, reached for something on the nightstand and, slightly shifting to better fit between Street's spread legs, suggestively ripped the small package with his teeth.
-I need you to tell me if it's too much. -he ordered, pulling the Omega's ass onto his bent knees, lining himself up as he waited for a verbal response. Jim struggled for a second to collect any coherent thoughts, too overwhelmed by an incredible sensation of being touched and cared for by a strong, respectful Alpha.
-I will, but I kinda want you to make me scream. -grinned the officer, through foggy eyes watching Buck's pupils go insanely wide before he inhaled sharply and with zero warning, in one, smooth move fully buried himself inside.
Street was done for. He choked on air, shocked by the unfamiliar sensation of being filled with such large penis, which actually didn't move at first, the firefighter politely waited for his lover to adjust, even though raw desire burned his flesh alive. Pressing impossibly deeper, he nearly glued himself to Jim's chest, crushing his neglected erection between them, leaving feather-light kisses on his trembling jaw. When it stopped, he started slowly thrusting into those incredibly wet insides, picking up the pace as the cop began to respond more adequately once the tense muscles finally relaxed. The Omega weakly threw his arms around Buck's back, nose pressed to the warm shoulder, basking in the lovely scent while the younger man fucked him senseless, grazing the prostate over and over again with the fat shaft.
-More. -Street whined, causing the firefighter's spine to violently shiver and his vocal cords to purr like a fucking wild cat, his moves now at brutal speed, powerful enough to make Jim's eyes roll to the back of his head as he got flooded with pure ecstasy. -Oh God, Buck, just like that. -he cried out, clawing onto his lover's sweaty back, feeling the orgasm approach fast. -I'm close. -blurted, his back arching, stranded dick pleasantly sliding between hard abdomens. The Alpha's low groans mixed with the Omega's louder moans filled the whole apartment as the thrusts turned erratic, signalising Buck's not going to last long either.
-Me too. -he agreed, pressing his forehead to the nook of the officer's flushed neck. -Come with me, Jim. -whispered before biting into that painfully sensitive flesh as his hips bottomed down for the very last time, completely breaking Street's mind. His entire body spasmed, insides contracted on the heavily spilling penis when the orgasm hit them both at once, blinding their eyes, shaking them to the core. He could somehow taste blood in his mouth, but had no recollection of where it came from. And felt too good to give a fuck. Buck, still twitching from the insane force of his release, although more coherent now, shifted to lay a tender kiss on Jim's parted lips.
-Please, stay. -muttered the Alpha under his breath, shyness clear in the quiet voice. Street only smiled in response, pulled the other man closer and started to reassuringly stroke his warm neck, an intimate gesture that spoke clearer than any words could.
He wasn't planning on leaving just yet.
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Febuwhump Day 17
Title: this smoke in the air reminds me of you
Fandom/Pairing: 911 Lone Star/Tarlos
Prompt: natural disaster (alt.)
There’s no escaping the smoke no matter where Carlos goes. It’s in the air outside forcing school children in and thinning the streets until the once thriving city feels more like a ghost town. There’s not even a reprieve when he gets home after his shift, the scent clinging to his hair and uniform even after multiple washes. A permanent ashy reminder in his mouth and nose of where his boyfriend is.
The wildfires mean that TK hasn’t been able to come home in weeks, camping out with the rest of the firefighters in makeshift tents wherever they can find safety for a couple of hours. He’s barely heard from his boyfriend in that time either, a few brief phone calls barely long enough to find out how the other is, and mostly just a text at the end of each day to let Carlos know that he's still alive out there, still battling on. Carlos doesn’t let it show how much he clings to those nightly texts, how his eyes trace over the words until they blur together and he can recite them from memory anyway.
These shifts Carlos works while TK is away are maybe the hardest of his career, and certainly the worst since those early days where Carlos had felt like his heart would beat right out of his chest every minute of his shift. These weeks while the wildfires have waged are different, a different kind of fear, a lesson in organised chaos. The Austin FD having sent so many of their crews to help in neighbouring San Angelo have left little more than a skeleton staff to deal with the run of the mill fires in Austin while the police are called in to try and fill the gaps as best they can. Not running into the fires themselves of course, but more and more they’re called to assist with medical calls, to lend a hand with crowd control, whatever that can do to help out. Carlos is almost grateful for the long, hard shifts that leave him exhausted by the time he collapses into the bed at the end of each one.
Almost.
Almost, because it doesn’t seem to matter how busy or how hard a shift is, his mind inevitably turns to TK, wondering where he is, how he is. With that smoke hanging in the air as the fires rage and rage it’s impossible to keep his thoughts from his boyfriend for long. It’s especially hard at night, in the bed that feels too big and too empty without TK there to fill it, and it seems that no matter how tired Carlos is, he doesn’t sleep any better, not with TK gone.
It’s during one of his shifts, weeks into the wildfires, while he and Mitchell are driving around in their patrol car, her behind the wheel, while Carlos watches a news report on the fires on his phone, when they get a call out from dispatch. It’s outside of their usual beat, right on the border where their jurisdiction bleeds into the San Angelo PD’s, but it’s a report of looting and given how stretched everyone’s resources are at the moment, Carlos and Mitchell both agree to take it.
The looters are long gone by the time they pull up at the address, leaving the caller, the homeowner, kicking at some blackened remains of her house. Carlos shudders as he steps out of the patrol car, unable to keep his eyes from raking over the destroyed house, which had clearly once been surrounded by dense scrub, but which is now as flattened as the house itself. Fear tears at him as he imagines the kind of fire that can raze houses and scrubland like this, then imagines his boyfriend facing down that kind of fire.
“Are you alright, Ma’am,” Mitchell calls as they approach, and the woman scoffs something like a laugh.
Carlos can’t say he blames her for the reaction. He doesn’t think his reaction would be any better if this was all that remained of his home, his memories.
“There’s barely anything left, and they still-” she breaks off with a shake of her head and kicks another piece of debris. “Bastards.”
“I’m sorry,” Carlos offers her, the only thing he can in this moment, and she nods, although he’s not sure his words are any real help.
“My wife’s a captain with the San Angelo FD,” the woman says, and Carlos isn’t sure how to help but to listen. “She was out fighting these fires while our house burned. She knows it’s gone but she hasn’t seen it yet… it’s going to kill her.”
“I’m sorry,” Carlos says again. Then, “My boyfriend’s with the 126 in the Austin FD.”
He doesn’t need to say that TK’s out there as well, because when he meets the gaze of the woman he’s sure the fear reflecting out of his eyes is the exact same as that in the woman’s face. She nods slowly, and there’s understanding in that nod, a shared pain, a shared fear, both worrying about the people they love.
Mitchell clears her throat and offers to take a description of the looters, which the woman gives half-heartedly. They all know the likelihood they find the people that had kicked the woman when she was already down, but it feels the least they can do.
They leave the woman with a brief touch on her shoulder, but haven’t made it to the patrol car when her sharp cry has them whirling back around. But while she looks unhurt, the woman does have tears streaming down her face, one hand over her mouth, as she gazes down at her phone.
Her voice is little more than a whisper and yet it carries all the way to them. “It’s contained, they’re saying they finally have the fire contained.”
Relief so intense that it nearly buckles his knees sweeps through Carlos, even as he pulls his phone out to find a text from TK already waiting for him, telling him that he’s okay and he’ll be home that night. Carlos is grateful for Mitchell’s hand that’s suddenly on his shoulder because he feels on the verge of sinking to the ground right there amongst the blackened grass. He and the woman both look up from their phone, meeting each other’s gaze, and that same relief is reflecting back at him, both of them knowing that they’ll be okay no matter what else has happened.
Carlos is exhausted by the time his shift comes to an end but he’s too keyed up to sleep, instead pacing around the bottom floor of his loft until he hears the quiet sound of a key turning in the lock. TK clearly hadn’t even stopped at the station long enough to do more than drop his gear because he’s absolutely filthy, still wearing a soot-stained uniform, and face covered in ash. But Carlos doesn’t care, and TK must not either, because he takes a few steps into the loft and slams into Carlos, both of them wrapping their arms around one another.
“Hey baby,” TK murmurs into his neck, and he sounds tired, so bone-wearily tired that Carlos holds him a little tighter, taking his weight.
“Hey,” he says in return, then says it again, dragging a hand up and down TK’s back in a reminder that he’s here now, that he’s safe.
Later he’ll coax TK upstairs and into the shower, later he and TK will curl up in their bed warm and together, but for now they just hold one another.
#mywriting#febuwhump#febuwhump2022#febuwhumpday17#febuwhump day 17#febuwhumpdayseventeen#febuwhump day seventeen#911 lone star#tarlos#tk strand#carlos reyes
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Love is Blind - Part 3
We’re back to MC’s perspective with this one, and prepare for feels!
Fun fact, as someone who rarely writes xreader stuff, the sheer amount of times I write you or your is driving me crazy because I legit cannot replace them with some other descriptor like I would in third person to break things up XD
As always, mind the tags, you never know what I get up to when I’m writing angst :)
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Blinding pain was all you could recall as your mind drifted towards consciousness, hazy memories mingling with your dreams. You could hear Nightmare calling to you, his voice raw with so many emotions that it was almost overwhelming. The others could be heard too, though most of their voices had a somber note to them. Yet as you tried to recall what you could see, the only thing that came to you was the colour red.
With no means of making sense of the fragmented memories, your mind let them go only to be replaced with new sensations as you truly started to wake. Every little shift brought pain, your face feeling like it was still being burned by Ink. Your limbs felt stiff, like there was something restraining them, though at least your surroundings were soft. It felt like your bed, the same soft sheets and blankets that Nightmare had gotten for you. But as you thought of the dark god, you were made acutely aware of just how dark it was right now.
Nothing you did could alleviate the darkness; it was the same whether your eyes were open or closed. Considering how even your eyes ached and burned, it felt better to keep them closed for now since nothing could fix the crushing darkness. As panic set in, your movements became more erratic. Even if you knew you were safe within your room in the castle, that fear still gripped your soul with relentless strength. Blankets were nearly ripped off in your efforts to escape, and as you sat up in bed you hoped that your negativity would be a beacon to Nightmare.
The feeling of cool, slippery bones sliding against your cheek served to snap you out of your hysteria, your hopes answered in the familiarity of Nightmare’s presence. With his touch, you felt him steal away the negativity within you, leaving you calm if feeling a bit empty. He only absorbed your emotions whenever they were clearly out of control, so you were never too mad at him for doing so since they would come back after a while. And it served this time to calm you down from the panic that had consumed you, allowing you to relax as you leaned into the hand still resting against your cheek.
“There we go, little moon, you’re alright,” Nightmare cooed, his thumb rubbing against your face while his tentacles all moved to ensure you remained calm. While you couldn’t see them, they remained close enough that you could feel them crawling along, finding different places to rub against in a petting motion. “Just relax for me, okay?”
“A-Alright,” you stuttered out, melting under his precise touches. A sigh left your mouth as the previous tension within you let go, leaving you feeling truly relaxed. As much as you wanted to simply stay in the peaceful moment though, a thought kept nagging at you as you turned your head in the direction of his voice. “Night… why can’t I see you? E-Even if I open my eyes, it’s… just black. T-There’s nothing.”
The appendages currently touching you froze for just a second, and even as they continued their comforting motions, there was a stiffness to them that wasn’t present before. Silence filled the room for quite a time, all the while you waited with growing dread. Eventually, your partner spoke up, but his words weren’t what you were expecting. “What do you remember happening on our little outing to Outertale?”
“Outertale?” You echoed, thinking back on what you could recall. The two of you had been watching the stars, enjoying a moment of peace away from the crew. But that peace was shattered by the Star Sanses ambushing you, attacking Nightmare while he had nobody to fight alongside. You could recall Ink pursuing you despite Nightmare’s efforts to keep the Stars focused solely on him, and you remembered the joint attack that you saw coming from Dream and Ink. That attack would’ve crippled Nightmare if it didn’t kill him, and you clearly remembered your last-minute decision to save him despite the risk. Beyond that though, everything was a blur. “I… I remember the fight, and… I remember how the Stars were teaming up to take you down. I know I tried to save you, but… I don’t remember what happened after that…”
You trailed off, frowning at the gap in your memory that stopped you from answering any questions you may have had. The frown was quickly swept away though as you felt a gentle ‘kiss’ placed against the back of your hand, Nightmare’s teeth mimicking the affectionate gesture as they pressed against your skin. “Yes, you saved me, little moon. You saw right through my brother’s trickery, and you risked your own life to save mine. Part of me wishes to berate your foolishness for rushing into such danger, but… I’m more angry at myself for being unable to save you in turn.” The hand rubbing against your cheek shifted up to your temple, gently brushing against the underside of your eye. Yet you couldn’t feel his bones directly, merely the pressure indicating the presence.
Something was in the way, preventing him from touching you directly at that spot. Before his tentacles could stop you, your free hand reached up only to freeze at the far too familiar feeling. “B-Bandages? Night, w-why are my eyes covered in bandages?”
Your trembling hand was gently coaxed away from your face, a soft tentacle wrapping around the limb and pulling it back down. While you now knew why the world was dark for you, it only brought up so many more questions, and from the sound of Nightmare’s sigh, he didn’t want to tell you. “MC, you… Dream- ugh, this is harder to say delicately than I expected.”
“Then spit it out!” You almost growled, panic and desperation clawing at your soul. Until you had an answer, the feeling wouldn’t go away, even if your partner tried to force apathy upon you.
Thankfully, the dark god hadn’t resorted to attempting such, a groan of displeasure leaving him. You tightened your grip on his hand, silently begging him to simply be blunt if stepping around the issue was too difficult. Any answer would be better than nothing at this point… at least that’s what you thought.
Your opinion on the matter very quickly changed as Nightmare spoke up. “When Dream fired his arrow, you pushed me out of the way of his strike. Your actions spared me, but… his arrow damaged your eyes. That alone wouldn’t have been so difficult to deal with, however Ink, that chaotic little devil… his paint hit both of us. It did little to hurt me since my brother’s attack missed, but…” The dark skeleton trailed off, and you could’ve sworn that you heard him sniffle a bit. Such a “weak” display of emotion was uncharacteristic of him, even in front of you. “I’m so sorry little moon, but his paint got into your eyes. It burned them, and… we couldn’t undo the damage. You… I’m afraid you’re blind.”
“W-What?” Your voice was barely more than a whisper as you processed his words, finding yourself riddled with disbelief. There’s no way you could be blind, there’s no way the guys failed to heal you. Cross and Pyre had both taken care of your injuries in the past, and you knew that Nightmare’s preferential treatment of you made them too scared to fail for fear of his wrath. “You… you have to be wrong… t-there’s no way I’m suddenly blind!”
“MC, please calm down. You’re still recovering from your injuries, you could hurt yourself-”
“I’m already hurt, Nightmare! You told me I’m fucking blind!” You screamed, your eyes stinging as if they were trying to produce tears. Yet you couldn’t feel anything, not even the damn bandages growing damp. Growing furious, your hand shot up to rip them away, your arm pulling out of the tentacle’s lax grip with ease. The bandages had to be the reason you couldn’t see, it wasn’t that you were blinded!
Just as your hand managed to touch the soft fabric, the tentacle returned to grappling your limb with renewed vigor. “MC, stop this foolishness! You’ll only hurt yourself further!” Nightmare snapped, the tentacle continuing to wind its way around your arm and pull with increasing strength. Gritting your teeth, you dug your fingers into the bandages, determined to pull them away, and simply stopped fighting against the tentacle.
Your arm was yanked from your head, tearing bandages and damaging the still-healing flesh beneath. But despite the pain, you opened your now uncovered eye only for despair to hit you. “I… I-I’m blind,” you mumbled, feeling a sob build in the back of your throat even as your eyes refused to let you cry. They only continued to burn, the sensation growing worse the longer you held your eye open for. “I-I’m blind… I’m blind... I-”
Several tentacles wrapped tightly around you, bringing you closer to Nightmare as he hugged you to his chest. It managed to stop your spiralling thoughts, your hands digging into his jacket as you tried to come to terms with reality. Nightmare wasn’t lying; you really had been blinded by the Stars.
Some of your negativity was siphoned off, but most of it remained so that you could process your emotions and not simply run from them. Part of you wished to ask for the same emotionless bliss that Killer enjoyed, even if temporary, but you knew that your partner wouldn’t oblige. Still, he at least made the swirling negativity within you easier to handle, allowing you to have your moment with the god’s silent support.
It was only when the maelstrom within you calmed that he pulled away, his fingers brushing against the tender, burnt skin on your face. You couldn’t help the flinch, now keenly aware of the pain that your actions caused. The skeleton said nothing as he shifted, rustling being heard from what you assumed was the nightstand. It wasn’t much longer before the rest of the ripped bandages were stripped away, the air stinging your face until they were replaced with fresh ones that hid your injuries from the world once again.
“There, I’ll have to apply a cream to your facial burns a bit later, it seems you managed to rip open some of the blisters so I’ll wait until Cross can heal them.” More rustling could be heard from around the nightstand again, and you so desperately wished that you could simply see what was going on rather than trying to guess. “In the meantime, you should eat something now that you’re awake.”
One thing you were at least acutely aware of was Nightmare’s presence; the air around him was always a degree or two cooler, and there was a faint aura of dread that emanated from him. In your time together, you’d grown so used to his aura that it no longer bothered you. What did bother you was when you felt that aura pull away, your panic surging at the thought of being left alone. Without thought, you blindly reached out for him, managing to grab one of his slippery tentacles despite his movements. “P-Please! Don’t go! I... I-I don’t want to be alone…”
“MC, I’m just going to the kitchen to have Pyre prepare you something to eat,” he argued. Despite the fact that your eyes were hidden by bandages, you immediately tried to put on your best puppy-dog eyes, the one look that you knew he couldn’t resist. If it was from an actual puppy, Nightmare might’ve kicked the thing away out of annoyance, but you’d worn him down to where he caved to your begging almost every time.
This time was no exception, the god of negativity sighing as his tentacle wrapped around your arm and his presence returned to your side. “Alright, I’ll remain here for now. When one of the others comes to check in, I’ll send them to get your meal. Will that appease you?”
“Mhm,” you simply hummed, following the tentacle back to Nightmare’s chest where you proceeded to snuggle into it. He might’ve been seen as cold and cruel to everyone else, but he was nothing but a source of comfort for you. It would take quite a bit of adjustment and probably a few more meltdowns before you properly came to terms with your newfound blindness, but for now you felt surprisingly calm as you simply enjoyed the moment of rare peace in the castle.
“Hey Night, do they know we’re a couple yet?”
Just as your partner went to answer, the door to your room slammed open, causing you to jolt and pull back.
“Woah, not what I was expecting to walk into!” Killer’s voice echoed throughout the room, your face heating up despite your best efforts. “Didn’t know that you were into cuddles, boss! Guess it takes a certain special someone to make ya all soft~”
A groan left Nightmare’s mouth, and you could practically envision him pinching the bridge of nose at Killer’s words. “If they didn’t before, then they definitely know now.”
The two of you didn’t hear the end of it from Killer until Nightmare slammed the door in his face, though he could be heard loudly blabbing about what he’d seen to everyone in the castle. Yelling would be a more apt word. Still, it at least brought some of the others to check on you now that you were awake. Cross tended to your burns with some healing magic, dulling the pain and taking care of the blisters that you broke open in your earlier hysteria. Pyre rambled off something about cooking from the great Papyrus before darting off as quick as he came, returning with a bowl of soup that honestly smelled delicious right around the time Cross left. Nightmare never left your side the entire time, treating your wounds alongside Cross while one of his tentacles almost never broke contact with you. It was more reassuring than you would’ve thought it would be, allowing you to physically feel that he was staying with you just as he said he would.
It was strange having everyone fuss over you so much, though you guessed that might’ve been the fact that your relationship with Nightmare was now out in the open. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be though, as everyone except for Killer was respectful. Killer… well, there was only so much you could expect from someone who insulted others for the fun of it, so it wasn’t too surprising nor hard to deal with. It was almost… easier now that you didn’t have to hide your feelings for the lord of the castle, and it might’ve been your imagination but the others almost seemed to be treating you better than before. Pyre was always kind to you, and Cross was never difficult, but they seemed to be treating you a bit more carefully now than before. It was likely all in your head though, merely some of the castle’s nicer residents showing compassion to you in one of your times of weakness. Killer certainly wasn’t acting any differently. Regardless, the biggest source of comfort was your boyfriend sitting next to you, never leaving your side even as the warm meal, healing magic, and sheer emotional drain left you nodding off and relaxing back into the covers of your bed.
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#mc#x reader#nightmare sans#killer sans#cross sans#horror papyrus#pyre#established relationship#tw blindness#tw burns#tw depressing stuff#mc will be depressed fairly soon#but right now it's more shock than anything#nightmare being emotional#then trying to pretend he isn't when the boys show up#he's not as good as he thinks but most of them humor him#it's either that or get strangled by a tentacle#nightmare is soft for his human#saurex works#it's not a drabble anymore
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Your safari au. Please. I need it. Water my crops with tigers and hyenas and witchers. Grabby hands and pleading faces in abundance here.
You are after my heart, Nonnie. And considering I've only talked about the Safari AU on Novigrad, I will happily assume you're lurking on there and I love you for it. Tweaked a little to add in a hyena just for you.
Lions and Tigers and Bears
Taking over a park was no easy feat, especially not when it came with a reputation like Nilfgaard had. Eskel scratched his head as he poured over the various financial reports, wondering just how much of it could be trusted. The problem was Nilfgaard had been a shining beacon in the animal conservation world, exceptional facilities, high enrichment for the animals and a successful rehabilitation rate. If there was ever an animal in need of a place, Nilfgaard had been first choice for years. All that came tumbling down in light of the revelation that Nilfgaard had been trading illegally, their animals sold to private owners as exotic pets or, even worse, hunters who wanted a guaranteed, easy kill. The place had been shut down immediately, a skeleton crew kept on to tend to the animals but nothing more. Management was on trial and Kaer Morhen had won the bid to take over. Though small and mostly unknown, nobody else had wanted to touch the remnants of Nilfgaard so they were quite uncontested in their bid. What had seemed like a good idea at the time, an noble because it was in the interest of the animals, now was an absolute headache.
Between the three of them, Geralt, Eskel and Lambert could split most of the urgent work. They had Jaskier working on rebranding, Yennefer managing the board and Vesemir as the head. It left them free to run the day to day of the park, learning the animals as well as the people who they had kept on. But they were going to need more people to actually help the place flourish and regain its standing in the community. Which meant asking the heads of departments for who should be kept on and what roles to recruit for from scratch. The easy ones were things like hospitality, Zoltan had a firm grip on the needs of the park and its visitors, knew all the catering firms and how to run a tight ship. So it was one less headache for them. Eredin had stepped up as Head of Security readily once it was proven he had no knowledge of the animal smuggling. Again, his familiarity with the park was a boon, as were his connections, putting together a security team that could be trusted. Much more messy was the animal welfare section. Fringilla, much like Eredin, had stepped up to become interim Head Zookeeper and was doing her best. While they were understaffed, Geralt, Eskel and Lambert helped out where they could but much of their time was spent getting to know the routine of the park and its many animals.
"We need to know who we can trust," Lambert grumbled, leaning over the table where they had personnel files open. "It's impossible to know who was in on things and who wasn't."
Though, in all likelihood, none of the lower level workers knew that when they helped usher one of their beloved animals into a crate, they weren't sending them off to another facility or a happily ever after. But it was something they just couldn't risk.
"May I?" Fringilla asked, eyes roving over all the files. At Geralt's gesture, she began pulling some of them out. "You'll want Triss, she was a vet here, promote her to senior or chief or whatever you call it. She's solid. And Sabrina, she's great, works well with Triss. Retain Istredd, Mousesack, Calanthe and Eist too. oh, and Letho for the reptile house." As she spoke, she kept looking with a small frown.
"Missing someone?" Eskel asked. Nodding, Fringilla frowned. Without much care for manners, she walked to the cupboards and began pulling out files until she hit the folder of resignations and terminations. From there, she pulled out one last file.
"You'll want him."
The folder was taken from her and the three peered at it with varying levels of frowns.
"You want us to hire someone who was terminated for gross misconduct? Whose notes suggest he abused animals and has blacklisted from working with animals?"
"No. I want you to meet the whistle-blower. Cahir's the one who found out about the trafficking and reported it. Nilfgaard didn't take kindly to it and retaliated."
Not sold on the idea, Lambert crossed his arms over his chest. "His file doesn't look exceptional. Personally, if he applied for a job, I'm not sure he shines enough to even be called in for an interview."
It was a sentiment echoed by the other two and Fringilla had to fight to hold back a sneer. "Invite him in and judge for yourselves. Just because his record doesn't have a quantifiable or gradable measure of commitment doesn't mean he won't be fantastic. If we ever have a new animal in that doesn't need to stay hospitalised, I wouldn't want anyone but Cahir to help settle it in. Especially the younger ones and babies."
Against their better judgement, the three decided to follow Fringilla's advice and e-mailed Cahir an interview offer. The reply was terse but assured them that he would be there at the agreed time.
First impressions were, to put gently, not great. Cahir looked rumpled, bags under his eyes and his attitude was rather sullen. It didn't bode well as they sat in the office, Cahir an odd mix of defiant and subservient. At least Fringilla had the grace to push the interview forward as much as she could until even she sighed and leaned back.
"Why don't we walk through some of the enclosures? Make sure you still remember what's where."
As they walked, Eskel ended up next to Cahir, who seemed content to not talk. That didn't stop Eskel from trying to initiate conversation.
"So, what have you been doing in the three months since you left here?"
"Tried to survive."
The blunt answer had Eskel blinking, there were many things he expected but not that. "Oh?"
For the first time Cahir actually looked at him, sadness bleeding through his half glare. "I used to live on site, worked for Nilfgaard from the age of 15, took a full time post at 18 and moved into the small cottage in the southern corner of the land. They fired me, I lost everything."
An uncomfortable silence settled between them as Eskel tried to figure out just how much of Cahir's so story was an exaggeration. "Have you been living with friends then?"
"For a few weeks, yeah." Cahir actually scoffed. "I've been trying to get a job and living in a hostel off savings. Turns out, only having in-house qualifications does not bode well for prospects in the world at large."
Fringilla led them into an enclosure where the grass was high. From the looks and smells, Eskel would have guessed it was a tiger's habitat but he wasn't familiar enough with the park yet to know. He would have hesitated going in, especially in a group like they were but Eskel had to trust Fringilla as she came to a stop and they stood in a loose circle.
The house Cahir had mentioned was one Eskel was familiar with. They had often wondered why it was empty yet well kept. It had felt like a life interrupted when they had a look round, nothing personal there yet it didn't have the empty, unlived-in feel of a show home. In a way, Eskel was regretting just how poorly Cahir's interview was going because he could easily see them offering his house back as part of a contract.
"So why are we here?" Lambert's words broke Eskel's reverie. "I thought we wanted to go on a walk."
It was by pure chance that Eskel caught Fringilla's smirk at Cahir and the slightest softening of that stern expression in return. Clicking his tongue, Cahir shot Lambert a look. "Tell me, have you ever been stalked by a tiger before?"
"No."
"You sure about that?" Cahir clicked his tongue twice and the world burst into motion. From the long grass a tiger pounced and Eskel was not ashamed to admit he let out a surprised yell. He wasn't the only one though, Lambert gasping, hand at his mouth and shoulders up as the tiger took Cahir out. They went tumbling and only Geralt looked like he might lurch into action, taking half a step towards the animal and Cahir. It would have been hopeless though, the two were wrestling on the ground until Cahir was on his back, tiger hunched above him.
The first thing Eskel noticed was how Cahir's face was creased into a happy grin. He looked younger, relaxed and happy ever as the tiger licked a large stripe from jaw, up his chin to his hairline. All Cahir did was laugh.
"Yes, yes, I missed you too, Princess," he said. fingers loosened from the fur in the tiger's neck and petted along her nose with the ease of familiarity.
"What the actual fuck?!" Lambert all but screeched. "What the fuckity fucking fuck?"
Eskel had the sense to look to Fringilla for answers, even if he wanted to watch Cahir with the tiger. The change in the man wasn't something he could have predicted. Gone was the sullen, defensive and standoffish air, replaced by an easy smile and a look of serene happiness as Cahir looked at the tiger, checking her over out of habit, muttering about dirty ears and mucky paws as he went.
"That is what you won't ever learn from a CV and qualifications," Fringilla said. She was absolutely looking smug. "Princess came to us at 9 months old, from a circus. Had terrible separation anxiety and a host of other issues too. She wasn't doing well despite our best efforts. At least, not until Cahir took her home and cared for her during the nights rather than leave her in a hospital cage. He introduced her to independence, slept out in the open with her for a few weeks when she was ready to transition to outdoors." Much more quietly, she added, "She's not the only animal he'd done that for. To find out some of his beloved children have been sold hit him hard. I don't think I'd ever seen him cry before then."
Turning back, Eskel watched as Cahir was sat on the ground, tiger with her back to him. The slightly strained "oh no you don't" from Cahir was lost as the tiger pushed up onto her hind legs and flopped backwards. Had she been smaller, Cahir would have probably caught her like a baby. As it was, he grunted as the weight crashed across his legs and he had a happily chuffing tiger's belly to tickle.
"I assume you'd vouch for him?" Geralt asked.
"In a heartbeat." Fringilla grinned at Cahir but it was lost on him, so focused on Princess as he was. The others might as well have stopped existing. That was the moment Eskel knew his heart was in danger. It didn't get easier as time went on. Hiring Cahir was proving to be a good decision. He just got on with the work, never finding anything distasteful or below him to do. If it needed doing, he got it done.
Over time he opened up too, Eskel found himself wandering down to the southern corner of the park to the little house that was now full of life. He got used to Cahir usually having a baby or two in his care. Sometimes he babysat for Letho's hatchlings, content to have baby snakes trying to look around his arms as they learned how to cope with being handled. The friendship between the two was one Eskel couldn't claim to understand but they seemed to make it work.
"Knock knock," he announced himself by the open back door.
"Come on in," Cahir called as he wandered out of the kitchen. "I'm just finishing making dinner, care to join me?"
That was new too, Cahir was inviting Eskel into his life more and more. It made Eskel feel even better about what he was planning to ask at Fringilla's instructions.
"I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow. There's a new arrival that we think will need your assistance."
Cahir cocked an eyebrow and held up an empty plate in question again. At Eskel's nod he began loading. "Anything you can tell me about it?"
"Not much. Private collector got raided, had a few animals in his less than tender care."
"So they'll be part socialised, part traumatised. I can work with that."
Somehow, Eskel had no doubts about that. But he was holding back some information because Fringilla had told him to keep it a surprise. The next morning the transport van rolled in, a small group of them ready to handle the newest arrivals. There were a couple of pythons for Letho to bring into his fold, a parrot for Guxart to train into swearing. Last was a large crate. As interesting as it was, Eskel's eyes were on Cahir, the way his nostrils flared as he caught scent of the hyena. The box opened and the animal cautiously peered out.
"Dave!" Cahir exclaimed, all semblance of quiet professionalism gone as he hopped off the top of the crate he'd helped open.
If his reaction had been exuberant, it was nothing compared to the hyena's. They collided next to the box, all over each other.
"I missed you buddy." There were tears running down Cahir's cheeks as Dave alternated between butting into him and running tight, excited circles around him before settling down and trying to bodily press into him. Glancing up, Cahir gave Fringilla a wobbly smile. "How did you find her?"
Her? Last Eskel checked, Dave was a male name. Still, he wasn't going to interrupt the tender reunion with such a dumb question.
"She was part of a collector's hoard. Didn't have the right permits so he was made to give her up to those who could offer her proper care."
A broken "thank you" was whispered in her direction before Cahir buried his face in the hyena's neck. Eskel watched with so many questions. Thankfully Fringilla didn't miss that fact.
"She was born in captivity, originally assumed to be a boy, needed to be hand reared after mum rejected her. She never understood that she wasn't human and as a result has spent most of her life living with Cahir. We've tried so often to introduce her to a pack but she never took to them, content to stay with them for a day, two at a push before she starts pining. When Nilfgaard sold her, that's when Cahir got suspicious, did some digging and realised she hadn't gone to another park. So Dave is a catalyst for this whole fiasco if you will."
Watching them, Eskel nodded. He had a hyena to befriend if he wanted to keep Cahir in his life it would seem.
#pre-Cahir/Eskel#fringilla vigo#cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach#eskel#lambert#geralt#safari au#tldr: nilfgaard is a disgraced safari the kaer morhen idiots take over
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i’m just. man. i always knew they didn’t give a rats ass about their employees, but to see them so blatantly shoot themselves in the foot to have an excuse to fire a bunch of us is just baffling. every store in the district is running on a skeleton crew. my location as eight employees TOTAL. nobody who applies takes the job because everyone wants to work with the animals, nobody wants to cashier, and we desperately need cashiers. if they terminate people (which, if they go through with this policy, they WILL TERMINATE SO MANY PEOPLE. our store will likely be gutted so badly they’ll have to close us down. and we aren’t the only one. there’s one store in the district that’s so understaffed all they have are managers, no other floor employees, just the bare minimum to open and close the store every day. this will absolutely ruin people.) they’re gonna do nothing but fuck themselves and everyone who works for the company. there isn’t a single store in my district that’s capable of keeping up with the insane amounts of mandatory quotas they keep introducing for rewards member sign-ups, yearly subscription premium service sign-ups, credit card sign-ups, and now they want to add ANOTHER useless program that we have to awkwardly push on everyone we meet??? it’s going to be a nightmare. i can only hope that, when they see nobody meeting this bullshit number, they’ll take it as a sign they need to lower the number as opposed to firing everyone who can’t keep up with it, because NOBODY is applying to any stores rn and they won’t be able to replace anyone
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A Treasure Worthy of a King - Pirate AU - 3k words
Nicolo has been the terror of the seas for a solid decade. He’s plundered many ships, evaded many privateers. He’s feared by his crew and the world alike, an image he’s cultivated with carefully selected targets, few words, and several well-timed glares.
Only a handful of his most trusted know the truth. That Nicolo hesitates to take a life. That when he chooses their targets, he specifically picks the King’s vessels with fat payloads, not small merchant ships. That his portion of the earnings is regularly delivered to an orphanage in a small, seaside village.
His trusted few help him pick the targets most deserving of plunder.
So when Nicolo raids a King’s vessel he heard carries wealth only to find a foreign dignitary, a prince no less, with a handful of guards and a skeleton crew, Nicolo is confused. Moreso, when the prince does not look at him with fear, but with a type wide-eyed adoration, like Nicolo is his salvation and not an agent of death.
“We should take him for ransom,” says Nicolo’s first mate Keane, a man Nicolo doesn’t trust or like much, but who has been around long enough to know the job.
“Yes, yes,” says the prince, gold and jewels glittering, though none as bright as his eyes. “That sounds a good plan.”
Nicolo is rendered momentarily speechless by the beauty of this man – for he has much, from the ocean of tight curls on his head to his well-groomed beard to his wide shoulders poorly concealed with silk robes.
“You...” Nicolo pauses.
The prince points at himself. “Yusuf.”
Nicolo shakes his head. That’s not what he’s asking. “You wish to be kidnapped?”
Keane gives Nicolo a strange look. “What are you asking him for?”
Nicolo has never been questioned before. He glares at Keane until he lowers his head.
Yusuf, meanwhile, only brightens, even when Nicolo turns the same glower on him.
“I’m very impressed,” Yusuf says, smiling. “Very... afraid? Is that what you’re after? Please, let’s hurry this along. I would like not to be prematurely rescued.” Finally, Yusuf’s brightness begins to dim, and Nicolo is struck with a rush of regret so sudden that he’s startled.
“To the ship, then,” he says, when he’s recovered enough.
The crew starts for Yusuf, but Nicolo is there first, taking him under the arm and tugging him forward. He wants to be gentle, but forces some roughness for show. Even so, he is much kinder than any of the crew would have been.
“This man is our ransom,” Nicolo tells them. “Any harm that comes to him will be returned tenfold.”
The crew murmur their agreement. Those closest eye Yusuf’s many jewels.
“You will turn over any valuables,” Nicolo says. He is softer than he means to be, in front of his crew.
“A small price to pay.” Yusuf removes them. Keane is the first to take them from his hands.
Nicolo escorts Yusuf to his ship, staring down any who look too long. No one dares question him now.
He starts for the brig, but changes his mind after a single step. He cannot see a man like Yusuf behind bars. Until he is returned to where he should be, Yusuf will remain in the best comfort Nicolo can offer. So he takes him to the captain’s quarters instead.
With the door closed behind them, Nicolo lightens his touch. He guides Yusuf a few steps further, then pulls away entirely.
“Have I hurt you?” he asks.
“No.” Yusuf stretches out his arm. “I expected manhandling.” He’s smiling again. “Your touch is not so unpleasant.”
Nicolo’s mind is caught in a storm. It takes some time for it to clear. “You... ‘expected?’”
“Oh? Of course.” Yusuf turns toward the room, walks the short distance from the map table to the foot of the bed. “Andromache explained everything.”
“Andromache.”
“Yes.” Yusuf leans forward and tests the strength of the bed. The storm in Nicolo’s brain becomes a hurricane. “Though she did not mention how terribly handsome my rescuer would be.”
“Rescuer.”
Yusuf stands fully upright again, and glances over his shoulder to Nicolo. “Are you well, Captain? Your face is turning very red.”
Nicolo feels underwater, like he’s moving and thinking in slow-motion. “This is a pirate ship, your highness.”
Yusuf waves his hand. “Call me Yusuf.” He must not understand the dire nature of his present circumstances, to be so flippant.
“We are pirates,” Nicolo says slowly, so that even if Yusuf struggles with the language - which does not appear to be the case - he will understand. “I am a pirate. And you are being held for ransom.”
“Yes.” Yusuf claps his hands together. “It’s wonderful.” Before Nicolo can even begin to try again, to somehow explain that if Yusuf is not overly careful, he could very well be killed, Yusuf steps away from the bed. “Here I was in a dark hour of need. I pleaded with Andromache for help. She was not terribly eager at first, but when I explained...” He sidesteps the map table, and does not stop walking until he is very near Nicolo.
Nicolo stands still as a statue.
“I know you will not ransom me, Captain. Andromache made that clear.”
“It seems,” Nicolo licks his lips, watching with wonder as Yusuf tracks the movement, “that Andromache has revealed much.”
Yusuf blinks and looks again into Nicolo’s eyes.
“She did not tell you,” Yusuf says. He leans back and Nicolo exhales, unsure if in relief or disappointment.
Nicolo forces out, “No.”
“You are my savior, Captain, from a life of misery.” He steps back, stretches his arms out. “A life I have no desire of returning to.”
“You are a prince,” Nicolo says. Why would Yusuf risk his life to give up such luxury?
“Betrothed,” Yusuf says. He pauses. “To a very beautiful woman.” He drops his arms.
Nicolo still doesn’t understand. Yusuf must see it in his face, because he comes forward again, back into Nicolo’s space, stealing his breath away.
Yusuf says, a whisper, “It is not a woman I want.”
Oh. Oh.
Nicolo’s whole body ignites in fire. He’s suppressed it for so long, resigning himself to the sea and his duty to the crew and the orphanage. He cannot remember the last time he has allowed himself to consider carnal pleasures.
He has never before been so sorely tempted.
“Do you understand now, Captain?” Yusuf’s voice is a sultry promise.
Nicolo’s every nerve itches to reach out, to touch, to – no.
Regardless of intent, Yusuf is his captive. Until Nicolo can free him, he will not –
He won’t –
Yusuf tilts his head slightly, moving a hair closer.
Nicolo jerks backwards, knocking into the closed door.
“Captain?”
“Nicolo. My name is Nicolo.” He’s proud his voice only shakes a little. “You... You must stay here, until I can find some way to help you escape.”
Yusuf, watching him, begins to frown. “Escape?”
“I will find a way,” Nicolo promises and flees.
*
“We must make port,” Nicolo tells the crew. He lies, “So that we can send word of our ransom.”
He gives them the heading to a pirate-friendly port town where he knows Andromache will be.
She pulled him into this mess. She can help him out of it.
*
At dinnertime, Nicolo takes a full portion to the door of the Captain’s quarters. With his crew watching, he shouldn’t knock, though he desperately wants to. Instead, he fumbles with the door handle, giving Yusuf inside fair warning of his entering.
Yusuf does not get the warning.
He is asleep on the bed, but it is not restful. He thrashes out against the blankets, whimpering.
Nicolo drops the plate on the table and hurries toward his side. He catches a sleepy punch thrown his way, and eases Yusuf’s arm back to the bedding. Yusuf leans into him, curling toward where he’s placed his knees on the bed.
Not knowing what to do but wishing to comfort him, Nicolo reaches a hand and places his palm to Yusuf’s cheek.
Yusuf’s whimpers ease into softer hums. A moment’s calm, and then Yusuf’s eyes flutter open.
“Nicolo.”
Nicolo has not heard his name aloud since the last time he sat with Andromache in a run-down tavern, when she told him of a ship carrying gold that carried Yusuf instead. He has not heard his name aloud, like this, spoken with reverence, in as long a time as he can recall.
“You were having a nightmare,” Nicolo says.
“It was, yes,” Yusuf whispers. “But then you arrived.” He smiles and puts the sun to shame. “I dreamed you.” His blinks are slow. His eyelids heavy. Nicolo keeps his hand to his face and watches as sleep again pulls him under.
Nicolo stays, longer than he needs to, longer than he should, touching Yusuf’s cheek, then his shoulder, then his hand, guarding him from nightmares, both waking and asleep.
When he falls asleep himself, it is on the floor, his hand on the edge of the bed waiting, in case he is needed once more.
*
Though Nicolo had demanded that Yusuf stay in the Captain’s quarters for his own safety, he is not surprised to find him escaped and out among the crew. What does surprise him is both how the crew indulges him – although that smile of his is disarming – and the way he is dressed.
Gone are the silk robes. In their place, Yusuf has stolen a pair of Nicolo’s breeches and one of his loose linen shirts.
Nicolo’s mouth goes dry. When had he picked those out? Had he gone through all of Nicolo’s clothing until he found what he liked? How had he decided?
And what kind of prince had any right to muscles like those, now clearly defined beneath the near-transparent linen?
Nicolo thought all royalty pretty and useless, locked behind their walls, their cares tended to by others.
The crewman shows Yusuf how to tie a sailor’s knot, and Yusuf easily replicates it. He is a fast learner, and eager. So unlike Nicolo’s idea of a royal.
“We’ll be at port in two days’ time,” Keane says from the helm.
Nicolo, realizing he has been staring at Yusuf, looks towards his first mate instead. “Yes.” He hasn’t been listening, really.
Keane seems to notice, because he repeats, “Port. Two days.”
“Right.” Nicolo dares another glance at Yusuf, and finds him staring back.
When their eyes catch, Yusuf waves.
Nicolo only just stops himself from waving back.
He hopes Keane didn’t notice, though with Keane’s hawk eyes, he worries.
The worries come to a head the next night, while Nicolo is standing on the deck, peering up at the stars from near the railing, when he suddenly, inexplicably, finds himself being shoved over it.
He reaches out and grabs the banister at the last moment, but his feet are dangling. The banister’s wet. It’s too dark to find him if he topples over.
Bathed in moonlight, Keane is there. He does not reach out a hand to help. Instead, he pulls out a knife.
“Why don’t you call for help, Captain?” Keane says. “Let the crew see the coward you are.” He crouches, bringing his face closer to Nicolo, though on the safe side of the railing. “I have watched you these years. You are weak.”
“If this is a mutiny,” Nicolo says through gritted teeth. His hands are slipping. He holds on with his fingernails. “Where are the rest of the crew? Why are you alone?”
Keane’s face twists with anger.
Pride swells in Nicolo, for his loyal crew. “They would not join you. They would not even listen to you. They believe as I do, that you are coward.”
Keane brings his knife closer. It flashes dangerously in the moonlight. “Big words from a man about to die.”
Nicolo thinks that he has always known it would eventually come to this. He knew Keane doubted not just his leadership but all that he stood for. Yet even knowing it, he has kept Keane on.
A pirate lived and died by the sea. And maybe, Nicolo has been too willing to test it.
Keane lifts up the knife, readying an attack.
A figure knocks into the side of him. Keane falls. The knife flies, skittering across the wooden planks of the deck. The figure, Nicolo’s savior, rights himself, and it’s Yusuf.
“Nicolo!”
Yusuf hurries to the railing, reaches over it. He begins to lift Nicolo, enough that he can get a better grip on the banister, but then Keane is there, yanking him back.
Yusuf twists in Keane’s hold and punches him. Keane stumbles back, but not for long, not long enough for Yusuf to do anything other than prepare for the next attack.
They grapple, equally matched.
With his new hold, Nicolo has leverage he didn’t before. He exerts all his strength and swings up his legs, finding footing on the edge of the deck. With it, he easily pulls himself up the banister to the top of the railing and over it to safety.
He steadies himself. His arms ache and his fingers burn, but he will help Yusuf no matter – oh.
Yusuf, Nicolo’s protector, his savior, and his captive, does not need help.
Keane is dead at his feet, neck broken.
And Yusuf stares down at the body in pity. “He was your first mate.” He’s out of breath, chest heaving. Nicolo moves to his side, as close as he can without touching.
“Yes.”
“He tried to kill you.”
“Yes.”
Yusuf leans into Nicolo, brushing their shoulders together. “When I came looking for you, and I saw...” He breathes deeply. “I feared the worst.”
“It’s not yet my time,” Nicolo says quietly. He thinks on Yusuf’s words. “You came looking for me?”
Yusuf is slow to answer. “I cannot sleep without you.”
Nicolo frowns. “I sleep on the floor.”
“Your presence is soothing.” Yusuf runs a hand down his face. He stares down at the body. “Should we leave it for the others to find? Some kind of warning?”
“No. This was a mutiny of one. I’d rather send him to the sea and be done with it.”
Together they lift the body and cast it over the side. A moment, then a splash, and Keane is forever gone.
Yusuf and Nicolo stand at the railing. Though Nicolo could stay longer, Yusuf tugs on the back of his coat.
“I would like to see you away from the ledge for the rest of the night, if you don’t mind.”
Nicolo obliges him.
*
Later, in the captain’s quarters, Yusuf washes the blood from Nicolo’s hands and tends them.
“I haven’t thanked you yet,” Nicolo says. “I owe you my life.”
Yusuf waves the words away like he saves lives every day. Perhaps he does.
“You can sleep in the bed tonight,” Yusuf says instead, when he’s finished wrapping Nicolo’s raw hands.
“The floor is comfortable enough.”
“I will convince you.”
“Not in this,” Nicolo says, a whisper. “Not tonight.”
“Not tonight?” Yusuf watches him, a spark in his eye. “Does that imply perhaps a someday?”
Nicolo gives him a small smile, but that is all he can give for now. “Ask me again when I have helped you escape.”
Confusion spreads over Yusuf’s face. “Nicolo, I do not think you understand that –”
“Yusuf, I am tired.” Too tired to argue. Too tired to think of reasons he shouldn’t lie with this man. Too tired to voice them.
Yusuf’s face holds no smile now, all dire lines and darkness. “You are trembling.”
“I am so tired.”
“Lie down,” Yusuf says. “Let me hold you. Nothing untoward, I swear to you.”
Nicolo is a miserable wretch. “You will not hate me?”
Yusuf cups Nicolo’s face with both hands. He leans forward and places a soft kiss to each of Nicolo’s eyelids. “I could never, my heart.”
Nicolo lies down on the bed, as does Yusuf behind him. Yusuf wraps him in his arms, swallows him in warmth. In comfort.
Nicolo has belonged nowhere for so long. Now he feels as if he has returned to a home he didn’t know he had.
He closes his eyes, and sleep finds him easier than it ever has before.
In the dark, as the sea rocks them like babies in a cradle, Yusuf whispers into the back of Nicolo’s neck, “Andromache told me of a lonely man, heart as big as an ocean, who stole from kings to give to children.” He presses his smile to Nicolo’s skin. “I loved you before I met you. And meeting you, I love you more.”
Nicolo hears the words, but believes them to be a dream.
*
The morning comes too quickly, and the day brings them to port.
No one mentions Keane. His duties are quietly filled by others. Only one crewman is brave enough, and mutters, “Good riddance,” to the empty bunk.
As the crew disembarks at the port, Nicolo lingers, watching. Yusuf stands at his side. He’s still wearing Nicolo’s clothes, even though Nicolo had set out his silk robes earlier across the back of a chair.
The day grows long. Most of the crew has left. Nicolo and Yusuf linger.
Nicolo doesn’t want to say goodbye.
For Yusuf, though, he must.
“Andromache is here,” Nicolo says. “We will go to her, and... I’m certain she will find you safe passage wherever you wish to go.”
Yusuf laughs.
Nicolo, startled, looks to him.
His smile is the north star. “I think you purposefully misunderstand.”
Nicolo straightens. “What do you mean?”
“Nicolo.” Yusuf turns to him. He takes one of Nicolo’s hands in both of his. “Do you truly not know?”
Maybe he does. Or at least, suspects. But. But. “You cannot want this life, Yusuf.”
“I wanted freedom,” Yusuf says, “And I found it in your eyes.”
Those pretty words muddy Nicolo’s thoughts, and he has to think clearly. He removes his hand from Yusuf’s and backs away. “You have been on the ship a handful of days. That is not enough time to know if it suits you.”
“I came here wanting this, Nicolo. The freedom of the sea and the wind at my back.” Yusuf, following Nicolo, steps forward. “I asked Andromache to help me become a pirate. She brought me you.” Another step, closer still – dangerously close. “I thank you for trying to protect me, but I do not need protecting. Not from this ship. Not from this life. And not from you.”
“Yusuf.”
“I am more pirate than I ever was prince.” Yusuf places both hands on Nicolo’s chest. Nicolo’s heart thunders beneath them. “And if you will have me, I would also be yours.”
Nicolo swallows. “This is a terrible idea.” He’s not pulling away. Not anymore. Instead, he leans forward, brushing noses with Yusuf.
“All of the best ideas are, my heart,” Yusuf says and kisses him.
*
Nicolo sits at a table across from Andromache. Not far off, at the bar, Yusuf laughs with Quynh and Lykon, who apparently he’s met once before and already befriended. Nicolo isn’t the least surprised. He knows now, to expect the unexpected with Yusuf.
“I see you found your prize,” Andromache says, grinning into her mug.
“You said, and I’m quoting, ‘A treasure worthy of a king.’” Nicolo tries to sound accusatory but he cannot keep the smile from curling his lips. It’s so easy to smile, when he can hear Yusuf laughing. When Nicolo glances over and finds him watching.
“Was I lying?” Andromache asks.
And Nicolo knows, “He’s more.”
#i wrote something nickyjoe#nicky x joe#joe x nicky#joenicky#nickyjoe#kaysonova#the old guard bingo#pirate au#give me a hot minute and i'll get it up on ao3 also i know longfic here is sometimes a mess#keane cw he's a badguy#pirate captain!nicky#pirate!nicky#prince!joe#ransom cw#canon typical violence#blatant disregard of historical accuracy cw#i really apologize lol#long post jic you regret clicking the read more sorry#kidnapping cw
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klance x pirates of the caribbean
bc apparently when i'm upset i listen to newsies live and think up weird klance aus
in my head this could go one of two ways:
keith and lance as will and elizabeth
keith and lance as jack and will (i'll explain later)
a lot more under the cut bc i got a bit carried away...
if it follows the canon love story i picture lance as will and keith as elizabeth. (i could see it the other way around bc keith could be the orphan pirate boy but i’ve written too much to go back now).
when they were young, keith was on a ship with his father and he spots lance on a piece of driftwood. they save him ofc and keith spots a jewel necklace around lance's neck. he takes it and later has it fused in the hilt of his mother's knife that is now his.
keith hates being the governor's son with a passion. he hates the formality of it and how restrictive it is. lance is the weaponsmaster's apprentice (that's how he gets good with a gun) and he is always under appreciated! give this guy some recignition!
anyway, he has been silently pining for keith for ages. little does he know, keith kind of likes him too. a lot of mutual pining has been going on for longer than either can recall.
anyhoo, pirates invade the town and kidnap keith. he puts up a fight but in the end he's outnumbered and taken aboard the ship as leverage. he says his surname is mcclain bc it's on his mind. wink wonk. captain of the evil pirates is zarkon and when the pirates who kidnapped keith hand him the knife he realises it is the jewel that can break their spell. since keith uses lance's surname, he also thinks it is keith's blood they need to finish the ritual since lance's family are the one's who sent the jewel away with lance. but it's not. obvs.
lance, after saving a baby, watches keith get taken in horror and tries to call out but is knocked out before he can act. once he's awake he hears that there's a pirate who was caught in the dungeon. that's allura. yes, eccentric captain allura is a choice i am making.
lance manages to break her out of jail, thinking she is one of the evil pirates and he can persuade her to help him. she is not but decides to help him anyway in an attempt to retrieve her ship 'the voltron' from zarkon. the two of them go off on a quest to save keith.
meanwhile, hunk and pidge are guarding keith. they are new recruits to zarkon's crew after their other crew threw pidge out when they discovered she was a girl (silly pirate superstitions). hunk went with her. they are easily persuaded to help keith bc zarkon's a meanie and promise that they'll help him out when they make it to land.
lance and allura arrive on an island and find coran who is allura's closest friend and ally. shiro is also there. he has a peg arm (is that a thing? idk it's a weird mechanism but it does the trick). coran explains that the ship keith is on is cursed and they will be going to the mysterious isle of daibazaal to break the curse.
they get there and watch zarkon attempt to break the curse using the jewel (which he pried out of the blade) and keith's blood. nah, it don't work. they still turn into creepy looking skeletons in the moonlight. damn. he threatens keith and then all hell breaks loose bc lance shoots him. it would have definitely killed zarkon but he can't die bc... the whole undead thing, and in doing so all lance does is reveal their position. they fight a bit, as you do. keith gets hold of a sword and kills three evil pirates in about five seconds. lance falls a little bit in love with him.
in the midst of the battle, lance makes a deal with zarkon that he will stay if keith and the others can go (this now includes hunk and pidge bc they helped keith get free). lance is stripped of visible weapons and zarkon agrees to break the curse immediately. lance cuts his hand and drops the jewel into the chest.
then he grabs keith's jewel-less knife from where it lies beside the chest. zarkon, distracted, doesn't notice until the blade is buried in his gut. he dies. keith and the rest act immediately and kill any other pirates who don't surrender. keith kills an evil pirate about to shoot lance.
they return keith in exchange for allura, coran, shiro, pidge, hunk and lance's pardon. keith expresses his wish not to be governor in the future and allura invites them on 'the voltron' ship with her since she reclaimed it from zarkon. keith and lance then have a moment where they thank each other for saving each other's life. keith thanks lance for coming after him and lance confesses. it's all very sappy and they kiss for ages.
OR
lance is still will. i stand by everything i said about him in the previous version. his parents caused the curse to endure and sent him off. but instead of keith finding him, it's allura. she's the governor's (in this case, alfor's) daughter. she takes the jewel and keeps it as a necklace. lance and allura are more like besties but they're not really allowed to see each other because of their differing classes.
keith arrives and escapes the navy. hides in weaponsmaster’s shop. lance tries to fight him but he’s not as good with a sword as he is with a gun. lots of sassy banter where lance is tryna be noble and keith doesn’t care for it.
anyway, we sort of know what happens. allura gets kidnapped and uses lance's surname bc they had a conversation beforehand. lance stresses, hears about a pirate they captured, assumes it's one of the evil ones he can persuade to help him.
but instead he gets keith who he met earlier. in the time they’ve been apart he’s got himself landed in the dungeon. and he’s notoriously one of the most stubborn, grumy pirate captains in all the seven seas.
he's overall unimpressed with lance as a person and with his plan, only agreeing when he realises he might be able to get his ship, this time called 'the red lion', back. lance decides he's going to prove himself to keith. he doesn't know why he's so offended by a pirate's opinion but he just is. hmmm...
they pick up shiro and coran, pidge and hunk promise to help allura out yada yada yada and they start making their way towards the island.
they run into lotor and his crew (acxa, ezor, zethrid etc) who are unrelated to zarkon and that whole... thing but they're your typical pirates and they want their stuff. which is annoying af bc allura is missing and they have somewhere to be thank you very much.
they put up a good fight. lance has plenty of opportunities to impress keith with his pistol skills. consider keith very impressed and mildly enamoured. but he doesn't do feelings so he stuffs them down inside him as you do. they win and move on. afterwards keith asks lance where he learned those moves and lance tells him stories of his time in the weaponsmaster's workshop. they bond.
they get to the island and find allura. they fight and keith and lance save each other's backs too many times to count. lance has a revelation (inconveniently mid battle) that he actually really likes this. this is fun. this is exciting.
then keith fucks up. he says that he'll hand lance over if zarkon gives him his ship back. lance is fucking fuming and feeling very betrayed and hurt bc he actually felt like he was getting somewhere with keith. keith gets what he deserves though bc zarkon dumps him and allura on an island and takes lance away.
while they're on the island allura knocks some sense into him regarding his life generally and lance specifically. she tells him loads of cute lance-as-a-teenager stories and keith feels awful. he helps her light a signal fire using some rum he has on his person.
they spot the ship alfor sent to find allura. they persuade them to go to where lance and the rest of the crew is. keith tries to act like he's on zarkon's side when they get back to the cave and then he takes one of the cursed jewels so he's now immortal. aha! while this is happening allura has infiltrated zarkon's ship, 'the red lion', so shiro, coran, pidge and hunk can be freed.
allura then frees lance from where they were keeping him in the hull. lance runs to where keith is. they share a look. keith cuts his hand and throws the jewel to lance who does the same and drops it into the water. the curse is broken. keith goes to grab zarkon's sword so he can kill him but zarkon grabs him by the throat. lance shoots zarkon in the side before keith can pass out. he runs to keith who has collapsed. keith apologises and thanks him and promises not to betray him again. lance laughs, says he better not and helps him up.
they return allura safely in exchange for their pardon. keith asks lance to join the crew of 'the red lion' and gives him loads of reasons that are really just disguised compliments. safe to say lance kisses him senseless and they run away together, sailing off into the sunset. bc. klance. there's got to be a sunset somewhere.
hope you liked my what-were-meant-to-be-headcanons-but-just-became-plot-summaries!! i promise i’ll post some general pirate voltron headcanons unrelated to this au at some point. i wrote a pirate au piece for klance au month on my ao3 so some might be related to that?
if you want to send asks or whatever that would be cool - even if they're just random ideas for the au or changes/additions to the plot. i also might write little snippets for this at some point (i’ll tag them under ‘kl potc au’ like this post) bc i'm suddenly crazy invested so if you have any scenes from this you want (from version 1 or 2 or any scene in the plethora of potc movies) send a message and i'll probably get around to it :))
#klance#pirate klance#klance headcanons#klance au#pirates of the caribbean au#my posts#keith kogane#lance mcclain#takashi shirogane#allura#vld#voltron#pirate au#pirates of the caribbean#curse of the black pearl#kl potc au#coran coran the gorgeous man#pidge holt#hunk garrett#pirates#red lion
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list of reasons i find Brook ridiculous
for brook’s birthday, ive decided to follow up my other two posts of this genre by dragging yet another idiot swordsman. i have everybrook open on my phone next to me. here we go
- first and foremost his most ridiculous crime is existing. as he’s already so ridiculous as a character, im going to talk only about things hes done
- i want to know, did Brook make a conscious effort to change his laugh to sound like his favorite song? how long did it take? what was the in between period like? what did his crew have to say about this? the rumbar pirates were big on playful teasing, did they let Brook live this down?
- ALTERNATIVELY: was brook’s laugh already like that? is that why bink’s sake is his favorite song? is that why it was York’s favorite-- oh we only made it two bullet points before i made myself sad
- relatedly i cannot make fun of anything Brook did in his backstory it will make me too sad. hes spared for now
- i DO want to say from a writing standpoint its so fucking ridiculous to me that he mentions twice being a convoy captain in the past and it never comes up again. oda?? why even bother to include something that cool if you weren't even going to do anything with it?? you could have said hes just always been a pirate but no. oda?? oda
- there was that bit where a bunch of people thought Brook was satan and addressed him as such (i think Satan-sama in the original, and the translation i read was like... Lord Satan or Lord Demon or something). not only did Brook never correct them, but he also ran with it and later used this case of mistaken identity as a reason to threaten to eat a man’s heart
- also both men and women were showing him their underwear in that bit. bi rights
- those satanists let Brook get kidnapped while saying they would try to summon him back. do you think they're still at it
- Brook is older than... basically every old man in the series. Garp, Whitebeard, Rayleigh... all of them. something about that is so weird to me and i cannot place why
- Brook has seen and can prove the existence of an afterlife in One Piece canon and its then never addressed again
- Brook missed so many huge events while being dead. im looking at a timeline rn and these include the obvious, like, roger’s execution and subsequent effect on in-world culture and society and whatever. but also things like the destruction of ohara (which was in his home sea), the founding of the world power known as the revolutionary army (which was about 20yrs ago), and the births of every other member of his crew. wack
- he seems to know about stuff related to the pirate king post time skip, and i wonder if thats because someone told him or he’s just playing along now. maybe he just thinks Luffy made up the term pirate king cuz it sounds cool and he wants to support his captain’s interests
- if he DID ask though, like, who did he ask? his managers? did he pull aside some fan asking for an autograph at a concert like “hey, you look like a knowledgable young lad, mind helping me out?”
- i would love to be there when someone takes the time to explain roger, the pirate king, raffle, the One Piece.... and Brook asks them “what is the One Piece?”.... and someone has to look him in the eye (...or not) and tell him “i don't know”
- Brook has technically died of fright (his soul left his body), like... at least once? it was luffy’s fault
- Brook was an urban legend on the florian triangle and i doubt he even knows that about himself
- when they're heading to fishmen island Brook gets all scared when they encounter a possible ghost ship and Usopp slaps him
- when captured by big mom he sleeps so godamn soundly and securely that he is harder to wake up than she is and this fact nearly gets a bunch of his crew killed
- Brook is the only character i can think of who has ever broken the fourth wall. he only did it once. maybe seeing the afterlife means he now knows hes in a manga. or maybe being isolated for 50 years just made his head be not screwed on right
- speaking of, there’s a bit in WCI at the wedding where Brook is decapitated. i don't know how it goes in the anime, but in the manga like... no one is shown to have decapitated him. his head just pops off. maybe he was just having fun
- also the bit where he rips the fake face off in wci. when someone calls him gross he cries
- there’s a bit in fishmen island where Brook is trying to ask Nami if he can see her panties (disgusting bastard) and he inadvertently protects her from being dehydrated by some guy they were fighting. except the panel setup reminds me a lot of / mimics ace protecting Luffy from Akainu, and it haunts me
- speaking of bits from fishmen island that haunt me, there's a page where it’s strongly implied Brook fucked a mermaid (maybe two). i will of course include the page here
- yeah. sorry.
- when Brook first meets the strawhats he invites himself inside because “it’s cold out!” but he later admits in punk hazard that he cant feel cold. he was just lying
- no one introduces himself to Brook except Luffy for the entirety of thriller bark
- half related, Franky cradles Brook in his arms / carries Brook around for like a full scene in thriller bark
- there's a link two second bit in film gold where the crew is just relaxing while they're planning for how they're going to get Zoro back and they're all shown eating burgers from pirate mcdonalds or whatever. and Brook is eating a burger and hes so messy that hes got burger on his forehead, and Franky is next to him just looking at him
- Brook also wears fake skin in that movie
- Brook has a running gag where he gets upset when things refuse to eat him and i was going to make a joke about it but im wondering if maybe hes just afraid of being left behind........ made myself sad again
- he cries when a dragon won't eat him tho
- Brook admits to reading monster hentai when talking to Sanji and Kin’emon and if i have to be burdened with knowing that so do you
- when hes trying to figure out the weakness of the zombies on thriller bark he overhears one ate a salted fish and lost its shadow and immediately assumes “oh, must have been the fish!” idiot man
- where does his sword cane go when hes not using it. it just appears. where does he store it
- there's a bit where the strawhats all use a combo attack at thriller bark and the first step is firing an electrically charged Brook in a slingshot through oars/oz. he ends up in a wall and no one ever pulls him out. i don't even think the manga shows how he got down
- enemies post time skip regularly assume Brook is dead when they manage to knock the crew out and it makes me wonder how popular of a rock star Brook actually was
- Brook goes on a mini rant to no one while they're descending to fisherman island where he wonders aloud how he sees without eyes and it makes me lose it
- this isn't Brook technically but Nekomamushi is based on a song Brook’s voice actor wrote about his cat.
- Brook literally doesn't have a brain. like i know we all know that but its so fucking funny. we make jokes about other strawhats only having one braincell or whatever but Brook straight up 100% just has a seashell where his brain is supposed to be
- why does he have rubber glove looking hands when hes haunting the castle at wano i fucking hate them
- relatedly, there’s a bit where Brook mentions he’s been, at kinemon’s interaction, sitting in a well for like... possibly days? is he okay
- honestly i love everything about Brook’s actions as a ghost in wano bc its so fucking funny but my FAVORITE fact is that Brook is in the wikipedia article about starving skeletons
im leaving you with that. appreciate ur local skeleton today
#brook#soul king brook#One Piece#my posts#ridiculous lists#zaria dont look#long post#this is like a condensed version of what its like to follow me pn twitter i think#i could probs add more but i wont
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A Ship’s Crew
Victor Farley x Mainland!Reader
Genre: Adventure
Warnings: Mentions of death, and bones.
Summary: The reader has chosen to join Captain Victor Farley, and the crew of the Omen. An introduction to the main members of The Omen.
Words: 2.6K
Notes: Wow! Recently reached 200 followers! I am beyond amazed! Thank you all so, so much for showing interest in my work! It means so much to me! :D
My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist! Original character list - please request for these too!
Thank you to the amazing @rey-is-not-a-skywalker for allowing me to use their wonderful characters, Stubbs and Destiny! Truly, it would not be a story without that pair.
This is for you, bor.
Not my gif
“Well, now you know just a little bit more about the world around you, and what we as a crew stand for.” Victor spoke again. “You of course have a day or so to think on it, but… Would you care to join us?” He extends a hand to you.
Do you take it?
You consider the Captain’s offer for a moment, running your current and available options through your mind, before extending your hand to meet his, shaking it with a firm grip. He gave you a charming and hearty grin, starting to laugh happily. “Oh, splendid, splendid!” He exclaimed, moving his other hand so that they both clasped yours. “We’ll make you feel right at home here, I assure you... We’ll get you your own equipment when we get to Galleon’s Grave- for now, though, let’s get you introduced properly to the crew, shall we?” He grinned, walking around the table, and putting an arm over your shoulder. “Ah, wait, hold on.” He chuckled, slipping away from you again and grabbing his heavy coat from where he had left it over the back of the chair. He slipped his arms through the green and grey sleeves, doing up the middle two buttons. Victor looked to you, gesturing with his head towards the cabin door. “Well, let’s get moving then, whilst there’s still some daylight to be utilised.” He held the heavy door for you, and you step out on to the deck again.
The crew were still rushing this way and that- though they seemed to have calmed down considerably since you last saw them. They were moving much slower now, more of a meander than anything. Victor payed them no or little mind, beckoning for you to follow him up some steps, towards the helm. You take the steps carefully as the keel of the ship rode and broke through a particularly rough wave. Farley cleared his throat to capture your attention, and you turn to look towards him, rather than the expansive open waves that covered the horizon. “This man here,” He placed his gloved hands on the shoulders of the man stood at the helm- his bright red and yellow coat a stark contrast to the dull and dark colours of the ship’s deck. “Is Stubbs. He’s my first mate; and the finest merchant I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting on these seas.” The man he was essentially showering with compliments gave a quiet chuckle.
“Thank you, Captain.” Stubbs replied, a wide smile on his face.
“Of course, my good man. You know I only speak the truth.” Farley gave him a fond smile as he spoke. “We’ve known each other since the day I arrived on these seas,many years ago, and hopefully we’ll know each other for many more to come.” Stubbs nodded happily in agreement with this. It was quite clear from the way they were acting around each other that they were close. They were so relaxed, and so obviously happy, it brought a smile to your own face.
“So, sir,” You start, and Victor turned his gaze onto you. “How long have you been here?” You asked him, and his brows furrowed slightly as he started to think. He ran one hand over his mustache and down his beard. “I’m not quite sure... I had just turned nineteen when I decided to stay here on the Sea of Thieves...” He looked to Stubbs, “How many years have we known each other, Stubbs?” He asked, quietly, as if he didn’t want you to hear him. Stubbs shook his head with a gentle laugh, “Too many, and not enough, sir.” Was the first mate’s happy reply. Victor playfully rolled his eyes at this answer, laughing softly at his friend.
“Good enough, thank you,” He started to move away from the helm, beckoning for you to follow behind him.
“Before you go, sir- we’ve about an hour till we arrive at Galleon’s Grave.” Stubbs pointed to the horizon as he spoke- and you could see a rather pointed island off in the distance, and you presumed it to be the outpost that Victor had spoken about prior.
“Ah, brilliant. Keep her steady for me for the time being. I’ll bring her in to port shortly.” He assured Stubbs, which seemed to relief the merchant a little bit. Truth be told, it was risky business letting anyone besides Captain Farley sail The Omen into port, either at an outpost or an island, for the ship did not seem to respond as well to anyone else.
You get guided down the steps back onto the main deck. Victor leads you towards the central mast, on which leant a young woman- topless bar a few deep blue bandages around her chest, shorts with a belt that seemed to only serve the purpose of holding a cutlass every now and then. Her chest was smothered in tattoos, similar to how Victor’s arms had been. These were very different in hue though; where Victor’s had been a rather faded black ink, this woman’s was a stark and rather vibrant red. They looked almost... Sore.
“This is Destiny.” Victor’s voice roused you from your thoughts, as your eyes locked with the cerulean haired woman, who gave you a little bit of a smirk. “Our resident Reaper representative.”
“Try saying that three times fast, eh, sir?” Destiny chuckled, as she pushed herself away from the mast. Victor rolled his eyes at her joke, folding his arms over his chest and using one hand to prompt her to introduce herself through her own words. Destiny turned her gaze back to you, “As Captain Farley said- I’m the Reaper’s Bones representative here on The Omen. I do what I have to to get a job done, you follow?” She paused, and you gave her a little bit of a vague look. “Okay, okay; I do risky things some people think are stupid.” She simplified her explanation quickly.
“They are stupid.” Victor mumbled as he looked over to the right, and Destiny sighed in exasperation.
“No, they’re not. Name one thing I’ve done recently that was stupid, Captain.” She challenged.
“Would you like the alphabetical list, or the chronological one? I’m fairly certain that Stubbs has both in his possession.” Farley replied, deadpan. Destiny didn’t look impressed, to say the least.
“Off the top of your head, sir.” She clarified.
“Alright.” Victor adjusted his stance slightly, prepping himself for his example. “Last Monday- we were doing our usual route around Crescent Isle and Sailor’s Bounty, and you launched yourself off of the ship, and straight into a gunpowder skelly, merely because you claimed to see what we were searching for.” You didn’t understand much of what Victor was saying, but from the mention of gunpowder you gathered it was none too pleasant.
“I did see it! I saw the loot, I swear!” She exclaimed. “The skeleton just... Got in the way! It wasn’t there when I fired myself out of the canon!” Victor ran his hand over his face as Destiny kept on talking.
“You may be one of my most trusted friends, my girl, but.. Sometimes I do wish you’d think things like that through, rather than being so... Recklessly impulsive.” He turned on the heel of his boot to walk away, but it seemed that Destiny had one last thing to add.
“I got us the gold, though, didn’t I?” You didn’t need to look at Destiny to know she had a rather smug smirk on her face- you could hear it in her tone. Victor looked over his shoulder, and gave a simple nod.
“Yes, Destiny, you got us the gold.” He replied, simply, before facing ahead again and heading up towards the held once more. Destiny gave you a two fingered salute as she took up her normal space leaning against the central mast- where you had found here earlier.
“Catch you later, rookie.” She grinned at you, before turning her attention back to the crew who were now rushing around about her.
You jog to catch up with Victor, nearly slipping on the sea-soaked wood beneath your feet. The Captain grabbed your forearm, laughing softly. “Careful there.” He pulled you back up so you could steady yourself again. “Don’t worry, you’ll be getting used to things like that...” He told you as he started up the steps towards Stubbs and the helm. “You know what? I’ll buy you a good pair of boots- you’ll be needing them I think.” He glanced down at your shoes as he spoke. You smile appreciatively at his offer, and nod heartily in agreement. “You never know,” The Captain continued, “You night be able to get a coat like mine.” He mused. Stubbs was within earshot of the pair of you now, and merely laughed at Victor’s comment.
“Who on all these seas would want a coat as heavy or as dull as yours, Sir?” The merchant joked with a wide grin, to which Victor replied with a playful slap. At this, instead of retaliating, Stubbs relinquished the wheel- and it was here you managed to catch a glimpse of what the wheel was fashioned out of. Instead of wood, as one may have expected, the spokes were made out of... Bones. Human bones. You give a quiet, almost horrified gasp as you take an instinctive step back, and Stubbs quickly moves to catch you should you fall. “I know how bad it may seem to you,” The Aussie blurted, “But truthfully it’s not as bad as it may seem- they’re skeleton bones!” He exclaimed, before realising what might be wrong with that explanation. “That is to say, they were essentially dead when we got to them...” He explained, and you calmed down ever so slightly.
“You remember what I said about the Order of Souls?” Victor asked you, calling over his shoulder as he navigated the sea vessel around a rock protruding from the ocean waves, “Well, this is one of the rewards they may try to give you when you bash enough skeletons back into the sand. The capstan, and canons are the same- see?” He pointed briefly forward, down to the deck. At a glance, you didn’t see anything as unusual as the wheel had been. Then you saw them- first the skull, seated in the middle of the capstan, surrounded by femurs; and then the canons, adorned with the ribcages of long dead skeletons. Truly, if you were an enemy of the Order of Souls, The Omen would be one hell of an adversary to get through.
“Raise middle and back sails!” Victor bellowed, making sure his voice reached all the crew on deck. The crew immediately set about following the orders they had been given, shouting to one another to communicate which way to pull the ropes, all working together as one to do as they had been told. Victor was quickly turning the wheel, and now you could in part understand why his arms had been so toned when he rolled up his sleeves back in the captain’s cabin. “Raise the front sail!” His voice boomed again, as the ship drew closer to the wooden dock.
“Should we anchor, sir?” Stubbs asked, and Victor shook his head in reply.
“When do we ever anchor, Stubbs?” He retorted with a faint chuckle. “It makes us sitting ducks- we’ve been through this before.”
“I know, Captain,” Stubbs sighed, sounding a little exasperated. He shook his head as Victor patted his shoulder with a laugh.
“Now, now, don’t go sulking off. I know that look.” Victor grinned at the man he was speaking with. “I was hoping you could help Ver and Jade deliver some of our cargo to the merchants whilst I take our new crew member down to the tavern and the other facilities available.” Stubbs looked over his shoulder with a smile.
“Alright... I can never refuse something like that from my Captain.” The merchant mused, before heading down the stairs onto the main deck, talking with two other crew members dressed in similar clothes to him- they must have been Jade and Ver.
“Right, now this way,” Victor caught your attention, leading you to the side of the ship on deck, where a gang plank had been lowered onto the dock. The sound of Victor’s boots on the surface of the wood sounded almost like a horse, and you followed swiftly after, glancing up and down the dock.
You had disembarked near a small market stall-like structure built into the dock- covered in crates, cages and other goods to be transported across the seas. Stubbs, Ver and Jade moved towards the small area, arms full of crates of silks and tea. They were very clearly the merchants, and welcomed the three pirates graciously.
You walk further, and the wooden planks of the dock transition into soft sand. You walk up a little slope, catching up with Victor and walking beside him as he reaches the door of the local tavern. There was a woman leaning against a support beam, and eating a mango.
“Ah, Captain Farely. It’s good to see you again, how long has it been?” She asked him with a smile.
“A long time, Larina.” Victor replied with a chuckle, “But I can’t stop now- new crewmate to become acquainted with,” He nodded to you as he held the heavy tavern door open, gesturing for you to enter the dimly lit establishment first. “I’ll be seeing you.” He nodded to Larina, ducking inside as she waved her goodbye with a low chuckle.
The tavern was rather small- it would just barely be able to fit the crew of the Omen in there, and not all of them would be able to sit down. “You go and find a seat, I’ll get us some drinks.” He told you, and you nodded in reply. He approached the bar, smiling in greeting at the barmaid. You see them exchange a few words as you take a seat at a round, rough table. The wood threatened to stab a splinter into you hand or finger, so you try to keep your skin away from the surface. Victor soon returned to you, placing a large, metallic tankard in front of you; to which you give him a quizzical look. “Is this..?”
“All yours, yes.” Victor chuckled. “It’s alright, I was just as concerned when my captain put my first tankard in front of me.” He told you, taking a slow sip of the frothy grog in his own tankard. “Take it slowly- it’s strong stuff. You’ll get used to it eventually, but for now just take it one mouthful at a time,” He suggested with a warm and friendly smile. He then raised his tankard ever so slightly, extending it to you. “Well- to the newest member of the family on The Omen!” He proclaimed. “May your seas be blue and calm, you gold and glory bountiful in equal measure!” He chuckled, as you gently knocked your tankard against his with a small, almost invisible sheepish smile. You take a cautious sip of the alcohol, and almost choke on the liquid.
“Oh my god,” You sputtered. “That’s revolting!” You slam the tankard down onto the table, causing it to shake, and Victor chuckles lightly.
“Yes...” He agreed quietly, looking down into the barrel of his drink. “It is less than savoury... But honestly, after a while, you don’t really notice it.” He leant a little bit closer to you so he could whisper. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to finish it all.” He assured you, before leaning back and getting comfortable again. “Anyway. After this, we’ll get you some proper gear- you can pick out whatever you like, I’ll splash out on you this once. But you lose or damage any of it- you’re on your own for that.” He grinned playfully.
“Alright, thank you, Victor.”
“My pleasure,” Farley nodded, raising his tankard again before taking another sip.
#sea of thieves#sea of thieves x reader#sea of thieves oneshot#pirate oc#pirate oc x reader#pirate#pirates#pirate x reader
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Fundy 28 APR 21
Delayed Liveblog Vault Hunters Part 1/1
Our favorite fox is damp. And apparently can’t get his hair to sit right.
He’s already having to raise the redemption price. It’s been 5 seconds.
I don’t even quite get Vault Hunters I know Hbomb did it last season and that it.
Charm. Lovely.
Is the bottom right a confetti cannon?
Oh no we have to fight? We can’t be trusted.
We are the sort of people to purposefully lose the fight.
Don’t get me wrong. We love Fundy and will cry on command. But also we are rather mean to him.
Mystic Tomato. I don’t know what it is but I love it.
I was saving up Chanel points for water and ads. But now I gotta save for those and the little fun reward pack things.
Oh no. Did we hit 100 subs already? That’s what it says over his name?
Confetti canon?
5up! Hooray!
HBomb humoring Fundy with the emotes.
Fight fight fight!
So close. We tried out best to fight the giant.
Alright chat. We need another arena. Everyone get him.
Everyone in chat yelling about Phil doing stuff in OSMP. Wrong server y’all. We can deal with that later.
Ooo are we doing VC?
Everything is so chaotic already.
Tubbo and Fundy trying to figure everything out.
You know things are confusing when the original people are like “the what?”
There was a how to play meeting? And somehow these boys are still confused.
Tubbo at least has an excuse to be confused.
I love skill trees in games. They just look so pretty.
“I see a melon!” -Fundy
5up our beloved.
My streamer is being beat up with a boomerang.
Fundy doesn’t know what’s happening, but he’s rich so it works.
Tubbo is just saying every name in hopes he says the right one.
Pizza!
We attack!
WE WIN!
We did it! We’re a good chat!
Is 5ups skin still cog champ themed? Maybe not. Maybe my brain is being goofy.
Is Fundy complaining about his hair? I’m not actually paying attention. What is chat on about.
That’s one thing that can be said about all the chats. They like it when their streamers have fluffy hair.
Chat really is just crying aren’t they. Fundy’s chat has a skill of crying at everything.
Hooray 5up is active! Fundy go say hi for us!
Hooray friends!
Super good item! I don’t get it, but super good item!
ITS THE BEING!
Arena arena. We’re almost to the arena!
Aww. I missed the bets.
ARENA TIME!
Beat em up chat!
Oh no. He’s hitting hard.
WE DIDS IT!
ARENA TIME!
Oh were getting hit hard.
But we did it!
Good Job Wolf! Awesome Millionaire!
No arena box for winning. Rude.
Chat can’t even remember how many fights we’ve won.
Stupid full inventory.
Temporary base on the hill.
Pretty chest!
All the gifted subs. Such a popular streamer.
That looks so cool! I missed what it did but it looks cool!
Ooo all sorts of cool things.
Look at chat go
SHULKER SHELLS!
Look at everyone giving Fundy things.
It’s neato that they use peoples skins. That you can see the people who donated.
Shulker crates! Nice! That’ll be good for transporting things.
We’re so fancy.
Ooo sorting. The most complicated thing.
Chats over here spoiling our streamer.
Wool?
ARENA TIME!
We got this!
Beat em up subs!
WE WON!
Looting 2 noice.
Mods bribing chat to stop barking with Scooby snacks. I love them so much.
Wolf my dear you have done nothing wrong.
Oh cloud9 has a fox skin!
Ooo create mod. We know about that.
A lovely little base.
Cake is being stolen all over the place.
Stab stab the dragon.
Hooray follow goal! Music time!
Oh... that was it. Alrighty we’ll take what we can get.
Time to win an arena subs. We want music.
Our boy is confused.
Fundy just read the chat. They are telling you.
I got to get this time! The subs will destroy everyone!
Happy Halloween?
Gasp! Mega gift!
Pretty skin!
We love the Fundy mods dearly. They are so chill and nice.
The water well has run dry.
The streamer has escaped. It’s just us, the mods, and the chair.
Oh a Schlatt plush! Neato!
Schlushy I agree with that name.
“Not the hat the other one.” LOL.
Chat go Glatt
Went to get water the. Forgot to drink it.
Subs can modify emotes left and right.
Viper good job! Good book!
Fundy doing his game at middle of the night o’clock.
Streamer... please sleep. Please eat meals.
We’re almost at the Arena!
Sleep 8 hours... just at the wrong time.
Chat fully admitting to thinking our streamer is dumb enough to fall in lava.
We have learned to balance our expectations Fundy.
Oh this is going to be a long stream. A really long stream. I’ll probably need to take a break and do some work.
Arena Time! Beat em up subs!
Good job subs!! You did it!
Let’s see what we get for the arena.
So many Wolf!
Diamond!!!
Putting the winners on their boxes. Nice.
I have so much work to do, but I just want to watch the funky Fox.
Villagers? We love villagers.
PIANO!
Oh we’re switching screens it’s serious piano.
So lovely. I love listening to music people do their things.
I love the fact the subs keep shouting FundyJam!
I swear improv music should not sound this lovely
Spooky sounding tune. Sounds like a boss fight in a haunted castle.
Awesome piano!
Poor boy so annoyed by his hair. Bless his heart.
For anyone who doesn’t touch Twitter. The Fundy Updates Twitter is fabulous and amazing. They are just always so upbeat over everything.
Trying to nether portal. You go fox friend.
Wow Just portal to the center do a lava lake. Under soul sand.
You go 5up! You get that bastion.
Rip 5up.
Poor Fundy doing his best.
How’s the VC crew doing?
MENDING GOLD PANTS!!!
The drip is back!
Also I voted no in the will he burn pole. I have faith in my streamers.
We’re calling Fundy emo now. And he’s trying to deny having an emo phase, and failing.
I don’t know what’s happening half the time in this chat.
Fire Fox!
We’re still calling Fundy emo. Chat spoils the streamer and chat bullies the streamer.
Oh are we trending emo Fundy? Nice. I’m conveniently scrolling on Twitter.
Look at us bully our streamer.
The two people in chat. Those saying emo Fundy. Those going “his hair is nice stfu”. The duality of chat.
Sounds of suffering coming from the nether.
Fundy has taken responsibility for enderpearls.
We cursed Fundy? I look away for 10 seconds.
Pixel has turned on Fundy.
Fight that ghast.
Fundy’s going to get all the endermen.
Piglin goes smack.
We’re wearing the drip. Nice.
Everyone gets rich so fast here.
Well. We’ll just leave the corpse there.
Sizzle.
The people who bet on him dying are so rich in channel points now.
*sad fox noises*
Surely not. Fundy we have lost all hope in you.
Pixel doing everything they can to do anti emo Fundy.
Aww. I missed the prediction. I bet he won’t die. I believe in him.
Fundy being scared by his own body. Cant wait to see that clip everywhere on YouTube.
Back to attacking the endermen.
Tubbo is such a villain. He’s so willing to kill HBomb.
Fundy just getting back to work.
I’m sorry corpses become skeletons. That’s horrid.
Off to get the dragon. The dragon the dragon.
Tubbo was smote.
HBomb and Fundy fully ready to be that person that steals the temple.
Hbomb shaped chest. That is great.
Everyone bullying HBomb.
Almost Arena time.
Betting yes on the arena. The subs are strong and they’ve got this.
My twitch app is being stupid. This might be my signal to take a break and do my school work.
8k boosters and the chat goes nuts.
Chat from where I am is just a bunch of booster packs. I think I need to close and reopen the app.
There we go. There is the lovely chat.
Arena time!
Aww. My bet disappeared when I moved the app.
No! He’s cheating! The subs are doing their best!
Good job subs!
I mean it’s a diamond sword. It’s not diamonds but it’ll do.
I heard a du du du du?
I’ve got to go. Time to be productive with my life and time.
Let me know if I miss anything especially stupid or funny.
Alright it’s been 2 and a half hours but I’m back.
Looks like I missed a lot, and the boy has been going 5 hours.
Still on Vault Hunters? How is he not tired of this yet good gracious.
We’re enchantin’
I don’t know what’s happening but I’m watching.
Who stole all the luck from the boy?
Good that he’s drinking plenty of water
Good that he’s taking a break for foods.
What is with the lightening sounds? I don’t like it.
Spare the soup pet.
Sadness. No 3rd cow.
Yes! One more arena!
Lure da cows.
No that’s the Fundy Cow!
Nooooo. That’s worse than killing it!
Did we win our other arenas? I only say the first 5 or so.
Lightening Cow. Lovely.
Noooo the cowwww!
For once Fundy isn’t the one thriving.
He tunneled the cow out. Wow.
Bye 5up! Good luck!
Hi Crumb. The cow was snatched.
Noooo. Quit stealing our cows!
What he jumps like Superman and steals our cows.
Cow bunker.
These cows will get snatched. I just know it.
No. No taking da cows.
Our cows must be protected.
Enchanting is not on our fox’s side
Oh so they did beat the enderdragon. Good for them.
All sorts of neato elytra.
I must go again. I am called to dinner.
Good job getting you diamond sir.
30 minutes later I am back and we are chatting with HBomb.
Sharp boomerang.
Saw a bit of cat maid peaking out there.
5up judging Fundy for just sitting and mining.
Oh the facecam is off. I’m just noticing.
I guess it probably goofed up and froze.
Everyone in chat talking about how much to make the magic packs. I like the people saying 6.9k just for the funnies.
I’m voting 6.9k in the pole just for the funny.
I know it won’t win but I’m doing my part.
Goblins? What the squeak did I miss?
What. We stab the goblins. And they give us emeralds?
This mans has been going for 6 hours and a while. I hope he doesn’t forget to look after himself. He was talking about eating an hour ago.
I love all the product minions. All the donators just chilling on their chests.
Why are all the minions black and white? I missed that one?
Oh they run out. They ran out of stuff and out of color.
Wealth in the chest, since we don’t have a mouth.
Angel or Fairy? Is that even a question? (Chat chose fairy)
Fairy Fox. I want to draw that but have negative amounts of art skills.
We’re killing time until we hit 7 hours.
We’re meeting up with 5up! Nice!
Oh HBomb left and thought Fundy hadn’t done anything in 20 minutes but jump around his castle. LOL.
We hit 7 hours and dipped.
7 hours and almost a thousand subs. Look at us go.
Hello Puffy Raiders! You’re a bit late but hello!
Oh no. He’s panicking and not ending.
Please someone who feels like being annoying remind the mans to eat.
Raffle? Oh donators! They go through a raffle thingy! Nice!
Hooray OSMP but also Fundy please sleep and such.
Not even raffling. Just opening and closing.
Nice spin noises.
WOLF! Wolf earned to win the raffle.
Wait wait wait? Fundy go get some food and go to bed!
Hey look there is our streamer!
This is the max post size lol. 5up raid let’s go! Hello 5up! We are here! But now I’m going to bed. Oh nevermind. I hear the fox. Ah that’s smart 5up. Anyway. I’m gone now.
#vault hunters#Fundy#fundylive#our poor streamer was so confused the entire time#the chat loved spoiling him during this#delayed liveblogging
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