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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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The One Who Got Away

Summary: While out with friends one night, the reader bumps into her old high school best friend, Jensen. They always had a will they, won’t they relationship but the reader finds things with Jensen don’t seem to be going as well she thinks they are...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 7,700ish

Warnings: language, angst, family drama

A/N: For the purposes of this fic, Jensen’s wife and kids are fictitious...

____

“Oh my God,” said Carla. She nudged you and nodded over towards the other end of the bar. “Look at the guy going up to do the karaoke.”

“He’s hot,” said Nora, sipping on her beer. You spun around in your seat, catching the back of the man, his friends he was with obviously egging him on. You tilted your head, wide eyed when the guy spun around up there.

“Holy shit,” you said as he started to sing.

“I know. Plus he can sing,” said Carla.

“No. I mean...I know him,” you said.

“Yeah, he does look familiar. Is he an actor or something?” asked Carla.

“Yeah! Wasn’t he on that superman show? Oh that other guy was hot too,” said Nora.

“No. I mean, well yes, he was. He had his...own show for a while,” you said.

“You like a fan?” asked Carla.

“Go get his autograph when he’s done!” said Nora. “I’ll go with you if you’re nervous.”

“Guys-”

“I want his autograph,” said Carla.

“You’re married to Nolan,” she said. “I know he’s revolting but still.”

“Oh, Nolan is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I can still look,” said Carla. “Speaking of which, Miss I’m engaged.”

“I’d have to fight Dan off over that guy,” said Nora. “And I’m trying to be a supportive friend over here before Y/N fangirls too hard.”

“Guys-”

“I triple dog dare you to ask him as your date to Nora’s wedding,” said Carla.

“That’s evil,” said Nora. “I want in though. I’ll pay for your drinks tonight if you do it.”

“He was my best friend in high school,” you said, both of them going quiet.

“Oh,” said Carla after a moment. “Sorry. We’ll shut up.”

“Yeah. Sorry, Y/N. We were only teasing,” said Nora. “My brother totally wants to go with you anyways.”

“I...I’m gonna go say hey,” you said, standing up when he finished singing. He got a few slaps on the back from his friends and took a seat, doing a shot as you slowly walked over. You froze for a moment.

You hadn’t seen him since you were eighteen. It was more than likely he wouldn’t recognize you in the dim bar anyways. You shook your head and went to turn away.

“Kid?” you heard, gaze going back to his table. His friends were all staring at you but you only saw Jensen looking at you with a big smile. “Y/N?”

“Hey, Jens,” you said. He shot up out of his seat and immediately gave you a hug, pulling back with a goofy grin. “Been awhile.”

“Yeah it has,” he said, looking you up and down. “You look great.”

“You too. You finally grew into your body,” you said with a laugh.

“Took me long enough. You never had that problem,” he said, biting his bottom lip.

“Who’s your friend, Ackles?” asked one of his friends, a smirk on his face.

“Oh. Guys this is Y/N. She was my best friend in school,” he said.

“You mean the Y/N you had a super huge crush on?” said someone else. Jensen looked like a deer in the headlights, his other buddies wearing shit-eating grins.

“Remind me to kill you later,” mumbled Jensen.

“It’s cool, Jay, really. It was a long time ago. I just wanted to say hi,” you said. “I’ll uh...see ya.”

You immediately left, heading back to your table with a sigh.

“Y/N,” said Carla, shoving her credit card back in her wallet.

“Mhm?” you hummed, tugging your jacket on.

“You got a visitor,” said Nora. You turned on your stool, Jensen giving you a smile as he walked up. “Hi.”

“Hi,” said Carla.

“Hi,” said Jensen to them both before landing his gaze back on you. “Sorry about them. Guys are...shit heads.”

“It’s fine, Jensen, really. Like I said, it was a long time ago,” you said.

“It was,” he said. “Do you ladies mind if I steal Y/N for a minute?”

“Oh, steal her for all the minutes,” said Nora.

“You and Dan are my ride home,” you said.

“Maybe you get a ride home somewhere else?” she said with a shrug.

“Oh my…” you sighed, hopping off your seat and following Jensen outside and into the cool night air. “Sorry. My friends would get along great with yours.”

“You were never much of one with being friends with other girls,” he said with a smirk.

“Cause I was a tomboy,” you said. “I wasn’t exactly girly in school, Jensen.”

“So?” he asked, nodding down to your band tee. “I always liked your style.”

“I do wear skirts and dresses now, Jay,” you teased.

“I’m just saying, you be you. I always liked that version of you,” he said.

“What’d you want to talk to me about?” you asked.

“I have kids,” he said. “And I just went through a very quiet divorce about a year ago.”

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Remember how you always said I’d marry the first girl I wasn’t shy with? Well, you were right,” he said. “I never loved her the way I knew it was supposed to be. She was safe and I was scared.”

“Jensen. Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I’m sorry for being a horrible teenage boy when I was eighteen and ruining our friendship. I had a crush on you from the first day of kindergarten and I never said a word. Tonight...I feel like a five year old all over again,” he said.

“You said-”

“I know what I said. I remember,” he said.

“I said some pretty awful things too,” you said, kicking the ground. “I told you that you’d fail if you went out to LA, that you weren’t any good.”

“I deserved it. I’m pretty sure I called you a bitch,” he said.

“You were pretty angry,” you said. “All because I went to prom with Dylan Anderson.”

“Dylan Anderson was a scumbag who bragged about who he had sex with in the locker room. He had this list of girls he wanted to try and get with just so he could be their first and you were on it. He was always asking me how to get in your pants,” he said.

“I never had sex with Dylan Anderson. You would have known that if you hadn’t stopped talking to me but oh wait, Jackie Morlan didn’t like you talking to me,” you said.

“Like I said, I fucked up. The one time I picked popularity over you and...I ruined thirteen years of friendship and the end of our senior year and none of our friends talked to you anymore. I know I fucked it up,” he said.

“What is your point?”

“My point is, I should have asked you to homecoming and prom and I should have had the guts to ask you out. We both wanted it. I was too shy and I treated you like one of the boys too much. I took you for granted,” he said.

“You can’t change that, Jensen,” you said.

“No, I can’t. I have two amazing kids and I wouldn’t change a thing when it comes to having them in my life. But if I could have done it with you, I would have,” he said.

“Jensen. I had the world’s biggest crush on you back then. I kept waiting and waiting for you and maybe I regret not saying something first but you know how little confidence I had back then. I’m a big girl now, Jens. I don’t just say yes to the pretty boy because he asked,” you said.

“I just wanted to apologize,” he said with a nod. “You grew up very beautiful, Y/N.”

He turned and headed down the sidewalk, your own eyes shutting.

“Wait,” you said, Jensen’s footsteps stilling. “What did you say to Dylan Anderson? I know you said something because he didn’t even try to make a move on me at prom.”

“I told him if he hurt you, I’d hurt him,” said Jensen. “He could have easily kicked my ass but I sounded pretty scary when I said it.”

“So we stopped talking and you still had my back?”

“That’s what best friends do,” he said with a shrug, turning to face you.

“Why’d you really get a divorce?” you asked.

“She stopped loving me in that way,” he said with a sad smile.

“Jensen.”

“She cheated on me and I pretended it wasn’t going on because I thought I deserved it for not being around so much,” he said.

“You’re an idiot,” you said. “You don’t deserve that, Jay.”

“I know,” he said. “Listen, I’m sorry for bothering you tonight. I should have just kept my mouth shut.”

“Hey. Red light green light,” you said, Jensen tilting his head.

“That was...that was your thing,” he said.

“It was our thing and just because we never did it with you doesn’t mean we shouldn’t start,” you said.

“That’s not-”

“I said red light green light. You remember the rules,” you said. “You came up with them.”

“Green light,” he said.

“You’re lying,” you said. He sighed and shook his head as he crossed his arms.

“Fine. Red light,” he said. “What’s the point?”

“Red light means let’s go find someplace that still has ice cream this time of night and we talk until you feel better,” you said.

“We aren’t teenagers anymore,” he said.

“No. We’re not. But red light green light really helped me on some bad nights and I think it’ll help you too,” you said.

“I gotta head home. The kids are getting dropped off in like twenty minutes,” he said.

“Jensen.”

“Go tell your friend you’re riding with me then. And hurry. I don’t want to be late.”

“The one time she’s early,” grumbled Jensen as he pulled into his driveway. You slid out of the car and saw the driver’s side on the the other one open. “Hallie.”

“Jensen,” she said, glancing at you. “Moving on finally?”

“She’s my friend,” he said, opening her backdoor. “Where are the kids?”

“In the house watching cartoons,” she said.

“You left them in the house alone? They’re four and three,” he said.

“They’ve been in there fifteen minutes, they’re fine,” she said. “I’ll be out of town with Wes the next three weeks so you’ll have them 24/7.”

“Starting…”

“Tonight,” she said. “I have to head home and finish packing if you don’t mind.”

Jensen waved her to leave, rolling his eyes after she backed out.

“That’s your ex-wife?” you asked.

“Yup.”

“No offense but she kind of seems like a bitch.”

“She is,” he sighed. “She suckered me. Jokes on her though. Glad I listened to my parents and got a pre-nup.”

“Way to go Ackles,” you said, Jensen smiling.

“She only has the kids one day a week anyways. It’s very hard explaining to a small child why their mom doesn’t want to see them,” he said.

“She purposefully doesn’t have the kids more?” you asked, following him in through the front door.

“She was never overly affectionate with them. She’s been slowing leaving their lives for the past year. I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked I have full custody within a few months,” he said.

“How on earth did you wind up with someone like that?” you asked.

“Because she acted like someone I wanted. But like I said, pre-nup. She’s got a pretty stupid rich out his ass boyfriend now so she’s happy,” he said, kicking off his shoes as you followed him inside. You looked over and spotted a little girl and boy sitting on the couch watching cartoons. “Hey guys. It is so past your bedtime.”

“Mommy said we could watch,” said the girl, a little bit bigger and taller than the boy nearly passed out next to her.

“Well it’s past your bedtimes,” he said, flipping the screen off and picking up the girl. “How was mommy’s today, Harper?”

“We watched cartoons,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Is that all you did?” he asked.

“Yeah. Wes came over. I don’t think he likes me and Taylor,” she said. Jensen seemed to ignore the comment but he pursed his lips, looking at the boy half-asleep.

“You want me to get him?” you asked. He smiled and you picked Taylor up, the boy tilting his head at you with green eyes. “Wow. You look so much like your daddy.”

“You smell pretty,” he said, wrapping his arms around your neck.

“He’s so cute,” you said.

“Wait until it’s five am and he’s peeling open your eyelids,” said Jensen with a smirk. “Alright. Let’s get you two squared away.”

Ten minutes later you headed back downstairs with Jensen, Jensen sighing as he went to the freezer and pulled out two pints of ice cream.

“I forgot how much easier that is when two people do it,” he said.

“Your kids are adorable,” you said.

“They’re worth dealing with she who shall not be named,” he said, giving you a smile and handing you a spoon.

“Your house is beautiful too,” you said, taking a seat at his kitchen counter. He hopped on top of it, starting to dig into his ice cream. “So what’s got you feeling red light?”

“Do we have to do this?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah. That’s the rule. If you feel like shit, we eat ice cream and talk until you don’t feel like shit,” you said.

“This used to be easier when it was you feeling crappy, no offense.”

“We don’t have to fix it all tonight, just talk,” you said.

“I’m an asshole and you still want to make me feel better,” he said.

“Best friends have each other’s back from what I hear,” you said. He chuckled, nodding his head. “So what’s up?”

“Nothing. Same crap I’ve been dealing with for awhile,” he said.

“You seemed okay until we were outside the bar.”

“Because sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if we hadn’t had that stupid fight,” he said.

“I could have said something too, Jensen.”

“No you couldn’t have,” he said with a sad smile. “I knew your weak spots and I hit them. Jackie was stuck up and I never should have started hanging out with her.”

“She was the prettiest girl in school,” you said.

“No she wasn’t.”

“Jens-”

“No she wasn’t. She had to put on a mountain of makeup and a push up bra and wear tight little shirts. There was someone else far prettier around,” he said. “And I was scared of ruining us so I kept it down and then when Jackie started pulling me away, I called you a prude and told you to act more like a girl and you totally should have kicked my ass for that.”

“I spent my first year of college being a girly girl you know,” you said. “Make up every morning, hair, preppy clothes. Frat parties, joined a sorority, hooked up with a guy on a bet. I spent my first two years of college like that.”

“Why?”

“Because boys started paying attention to me. People started to talk to me,” you said with a shrug. “My dad thought something was wrong, like I was having some kind of reverse breakdown or something.”

“What about the second two years?”

“A frat boy tried to spike my drink,” you said.

“Really.”

“Yup. I knocked out three of his teeth,” you said with a smile.

“That’s my girl. You thought it was silly when I taught you how to throw a punch too,” he said.

“Well after that whole incident, I quit my sorority and started fresh. I met Carla and Nora in a study group. Those were real friends. We sat around and ate pizza and cookies and looked like shit and we had a blast. We would dress up and go out sometimes but it was different. It felt like I found a balance. It was nice having girl friends for once,” you said. “They’re the ones that reminded me that acting like a girl means not taking anyone’s shit.”

“I like your friends,” he said.

“So we had a fight in high school. You obviously regret it and I regret it and...maybe something would have happened, who knows. But like you said earlier, you got two great kids upstairs and I’d never take that away from you,” you said.

“Can we start over?” he asked. “From before our fight?”

“In that case, you owe me a dollar for lunch money,” you said, Jensen breaking out into a laugh. “I’m serious. With inflation that’s like five bucks.”

“I can take you to lunch tomorrow to make up for it,” he said.

“I thought we were starting over,” you said. Jensen nodded and hopped off the counter, walking around to you.

“Oh, we are,” he said. You stared at him as he leaned down and kissed you, cupping your cheek gently.

Oh shit he was better than any teenage dream you’d had could have been. He was soft and sweet and he tasted like bourbon and vanilla. There was a spark in your stomach that raced through your veins, quietly vanishing as he pulled back. You breathed and looked up at him, Jensen licking his lips.

“I already told you. I fucked it up the first time. I’m not doing it this time around,” he said. “What do you say?”

“You’re blushing,” you said, touching his cheek, feeling the heat in it. You reached your hand around to the back of his neck, Jensen letting you pull him into another kiss.

“Can I take that as a yes?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said. “It’s a yes.”

“For my own edification, back then, if I wasn’t so scared…”

“It would have been a yes,” you said.

“That’s what I was scared of,” he said with a swallow.

“Jens. Stop being scared,” you said. “Please?”

“Alright,” he said with a nod.

“Red light green light?”

“Green light,” he said. “I feel better now. Promise.”

“Good. Now what fancy rich neighborhood do you live in cause I need to get an uber home.”

“Hey, Y/N?” asked Jensen when you answered your phone as you were heading out for your lunch date the next day. “I got a slight problem.”

“Yes…”

“My last minute babysitter had to cancel last minute,” he said.

“Bring the kids with,” you said. “I don’t mind.”

“Really?” he said, his voice light and happy like he was a kid himself.

“Yeah. Let me get to know the whole family,” you said. “If you’re okay with that.”

“Yeah, totally. We’ll meet you there.”

“Hello Ackles,” you said, spotting them in a booth at the restaurant.

“Hi!” said Taylor from the other side of the table, tucked between the wall and his father.

“Hi Taylor,” you said, sliding into the empty spot next to Harper. “Hi Harper.”

“Hi,” she said, a bit more quiet than she was the night before.

“Guys, this is Y/N. She was my best friend in school,” said Jensen. “She’s hopefully going to be hanging out with us more lately.”

“Do you play pretend too?” asked Harper.

“No. Your daddy was very good in all of our school plays though. He even got me to do it one year,” you said.

“You hated that,” he said.

“Yes, I did,” you laughed. “I’m a sound engineer.”

“Really? I thought you were going to be a marine biologist,” said Jensen.

“Well, one required way less schooling,” you said. “So you know how singer’s record in a studio? Well I’m one of those people that helps turn what people sing into an album.”

“Do you know Taylor Swift?” asked Harper.

“No, no. Sometimes I work on commercials too. I do a lot of different stuff. It’s really fun,” you said.

“Can you sing like daddy?” asked Taylor.

“Nope,” you said. “What about you guys? You good singers?”

“I’m amazing,” said Taylor.

“Mhm,” laughed Jensen. “So, Y/N-”

“Harper’s having a pool party tomorrow for her birthday. Are you gonna come?” asked Taylor. You stared at Jensen, Harper scowling at her little brother.

“I didn’t know there was a party,” you said.

“I don’t want a party anymore,” said Harper. “Mommy won’t be there.”

“Sweetie, all your friends from pre-school will be there. Don’t you want your birthday party?” asked Jensen. Harper shook her head, Jensen staring blankly for a moment. “We’re having your party, Harper.”

“I don’t want it,” she said.

“How old are you turning, Harper?” you asked.

“Five,” she grumbled.

“My mom wasn’t at my fifth birthday either,” you said. Jensen gave you a smile, Harper looking up at you. “Can I come to your party, Harper?”

“Okay,” she said. “Can I go to the bathroom?”

“I can take her,” you said.

“Thank you,” said Jensen as you slid out, following Harper back to the bathroom. You waited inside with her, helping her get up to the sink and dry off her hands. By the time you were back out, a plate of french fries was in the middle of the table. “All good?”

“Yeah. Can I have a hotdog?” she asked.

“Sure. You wanted mac and cheese, buddy?” asked Jensen, Taylor nodding. “Y/N, order whatever you want. It’s on me.”

“I’ll just get a cheeseburger,” you said. “Harper, I like your braid. It’s very pretty.”

“Daddy did it,” she said. “He’s really good at playing dress up.”

“I bet he is,” you teased. He rolled his eyes and ordered when the waiter came over, making small talk for the most part with you and the kids.

“Hey guys,” said Jensen as he put down some money to pay. “You want to hang out at Uncle Jared’s tonight for a few hours?”

They both nodded excitedly as Jensen looked at you.

“Dinner?” he asked. You smiled and he looked relieved. It wasn’t until you were outside and he packed up the kids in the car that he brought it up again. “Sorry. This has been a total disaster of a first date.”

“No it wasn’t,” you said. “They sort of come with the package.”

“Thanks for earlier with Harper. She really wanted me to cancel her birthday party this morning,” he said.

“Speaking of which, what does she like? I got to run to the store and grab her a present,” you said.

“She’s got toys out her ass,” he said. “Some money in a card is fine. I’ll put it in her savings.”

“Would she like a blanket?” you asked, a silly smirk crossing his face. “Blankets always made you feel better when you felt crappy.”

“She likes pink,” he said.

“Alright. I’ll find her something,” you said. “Where do you want to meet tonight?”

“I can pick you up at your place at seven?” he asked.

“Alright, that sounds good,” you said.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“I know it doesn’t seem like it but you just gave those two more attention in an hour than their own mother’s given them in six months,” he said. “I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me for talking to your kids, Jensen. You don’t have to thank me for that,” you said.

“I’ll text you later,” he said. “And thank you.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later, Jens.”

“Hi,” said Jensen when you slid into his car that night, Jensen looking you up and down. “You look gorgeous.”

“You look very pretty too,” you teased. “Where are we going?”

“BBQ?”

“That’s my boy,” you said. He was quiet as he drove, asking you more about your work as you parked and ordered your food. It wasn’t until he was halfway through a pulled pork sandwich that he started to blush. “What is it Jensen?”

“I’m doing it aren’t I. I won’t shut up,” he said.

“We’re catching up is all,” you said. “I don’t recall you ever being a singer in high school.”

“Well, it’s not exactly something you brag about,” he said. “I’m not any good anyways.”

“You sounded pretty good at karaoke,” you said. “You could make an album for fun. Plenty of people do. Those are actually my favorite projects to work on.”

“Maybe. I’m busy enough with the kids and brewery. I got a movie I’m supposed to film in a few months. Only like four weeks but I’m gonna fucking hate being away from the kids that long. My parents are going to have to watch them,” he said. “Signed on before we got a divorce and everything.”

“Can’t she take the kids?” you asked.

“Honestly, I don’t trust her. About two years ago, Taylor was still a baby, she really started to show her true colors. The nanny was the one raising the kids. I mean, I’m not claiming to be world’s best dad or anything but at least I change a diaper and give ‘em a bath when I’m home. Now they’re getting older and they’re starting to think mommy doesn’t like them. Unfortunately, I think that’s true,” he said.

“You weren’t joking earlier about thinking she wants to ditch them, were you.”

“No. In the long run, it’ll be the best thing for them. But it’s gonna suck. I hope they’re small enough to not let it get to them,” he said.

“I barely remember my mom,” you said. “Shit, your mom was the one that got me through my first period.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was over your house and went to the bathroom and it happened and she was so nice about explaining everything to me. I think my dad was a bit relieved we didn’t have to have that talk,” you said.

“My parents ask about you every once in a while,” he said. “Ask if we ever made up.”

“I assume they’ll be at the party tomorrow?” you asked, Jensen nodding. “Well, you can tell them we have now.”

“Harper’s not gonna have a mom pretty soon,” said Jensen.

“Do I have to tell you how a period works?” you asked, Jensen chuckling.

“No. No. It’s just hard to be dad and mom sometimes. I know it’s going to happen too,” he said.

“Well, when it does, I want you to remember that your kids are better off with just you,” you said.

“I’ll try,” he said. “How’s the brisket?”

“Crap, crap, crap,” you heard a guy say as you got out of your car at Jensen’s the next day. You rushed over and helped him catch a bag that was falling. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” you said, giving him a smile.

“I haven’t seen you around before. I’m Jared,” he said.

“Y/N,” you said, Jared raising an eyebrow.

“Wow. Like the Y/N Jensen was puppy dog in love with?” he asked.

“My reputation precedes me with Jensen’s friends apparently,” you said. “We met up a few days ago again. Talked through some stuff. We’re...trying it out.”

“I don’t even know you and I already like you better than the bitch,” said Jared. “Sorry. That’d be-”

“I know who you’re talking about,” you said, glancing at the bag. “Looks like Harper’s making out pretty good.”

“I’m the godfather. I’ve got to spoil her rotten,” he said. “I used to work with Jensen.”

“Yeah, you looked familiar. Your hair’s much shorter now, right?” you said.

“Yeah. Jensen was so excited,” Jared laughed. “I’ve been thinking of growing it out again. Well, I’m glad you made it.”

“Glad Harper invited me,” you said, following him down the driveway and around to the backyard, spotting a few kids and adults around.

“Hey, loser,” said Jensen with smile.

“You’re the loser,” you said, looking to Jared when you heard him echo the sentiment back.

“Well now I really like her,” said Jared, setting his bag down near the pile of presents. “Speaking of which, where’s the birthday girl?”

“Last I saw, Gen and my sister were keeping an eye on them in the shallow end,” said Jensen.

“Well I better go say hey,” he said, taking off as Jensen gave you a smile.

“Thanks for coming,” he said as you sat down a small bag on the table. “So what’d you get her?”

“Eh, it’s nothing,” you said with a shrug. He hummed and crossed his arms. “I got her Harry Potter and a soccer ball.”

“That’s actually kind of perfect. She starts soccer in the fall and she’s ahead of her age group reading wise. She’s actually really ahead,” he said.

“You were always a good reader. Plus kids love Harry Potter,” you said.

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” he said, your lips turning up when you caught sight of his older brother coming over. “Hey, Josh. You remember-”

“Little shrimp. Hard to forget Y/N Y/L/N,” he said with a laugh. “Did you let him sucker you into being his friend again?”

“We’re kind of dating,” said Jensen quietly.

“No shit. You do have a pair on you after all,” he said, slapping Jensen’s back. “Hey Mac!”

“What!” she shouted from across the yard.

“It took them more than ten years to get together! You lost!” he shouted.

“Mow your own lawn loser!” she shouted back.

“No way! A bet’s a bet!” said Josh as he headed off, not without turning around. “I always told Jenny-”

“Joshua. Leave before I drown you at my daughter’s pool party,” said Jensen, closing his eyes.

“Fine, fine,” he said, waving Jensen off. “You know I’m pretty sure you gave him his first boner and-”

“Josh!” said Jensen, his brother cracking up as he left. “That’s not true…”

“We’re not at that stage yet so let’s just go with the old standard,” you said.

“Josh is a dick?”

“Josh is a dick,” you laughed.

“I can agree to that,” said Jensen. “So bathroom is right through there. If you want to change out of your swimsuit, just find a place in the house that’s free. We got presents and cake in like an hour but other than that, it should be pretty laid back.”

“Cool. I’m gonna go say hey to the birthday girl myself and I’ll swing back around later.”

“Thanks for helping pick up,” said Jensen, tossing a streamer in the garbage bag that evening.

“It’s no problem,” you said, looking around the yard. “I think that’s the last of it.”

“Yeah. Hey you want to hang out? We were gonna do a little backyard bonfire. If you want to,” he said.

“Sure. I do want to change out of these wet clothes first though,” you said. He hummed and you walked back out to your car, grabbing your bag as Jensen showed you down to the guest room.

“Shit,” he said, the door already closed. “Forgot, my brother’s family is crashing in there tonight...and my parents are in the other guest room and my sister’s family is taking over the family room.”

“Don’t you have a bedroom?” you joked.

“True. I don’t want you getting the wrong idea though. I mean...you know what I mean,” he said.

“Just point me towards a shower and I’m good, Jens,” you said. He showed you towards his room and told you to take your time. Your jaw practically dropped when you were alone. His house was gorgeous but the bathroom was anyone’s dream come true. “Shit Jens. Somebody did well for themselves.”

You set your bag down on the empty vanity and pulled out your new clothes before hopping in the shower. You were pretty sure you would marry it if you could have but you didn’t want to waste all the water on Jensen and quickly were out and changing into some sweats and a tee shirt.

“I’m all set,” you said, giving Jensen a smile as he padded around in his bedroom.

“You got a hoodie?” he asked. You shook your head, Jensen walking into his closet and out a few seconds later, tossing one at you. “Take it.”

“Thanks,” you said. You gave him his privacy, catching his parents watching the kids in the family room. “Hi.”

“You owe me five bucks,” said his dad to his mom. “Told you those two would wind up together.”

“I was the one that said that!” she said, rolling her eyes.

“She’s delusional as always,” he said, standing up and giving you a hug. “How you doing kiddo? You got all grown up.”

“Yeah, been a few years,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck.

“Jensen said he ran into you a few nights ago. I’m so glad you two made up,” said his mom. “He could really use a good friend right now.”

“Grandpa, Daddy says he used to be best friends with Y/N,” said Harper, already face first into her Harry Potter book.

“We’ve known Y/N since she was your age, Harper. She practically lived at our house,” he said.

“She lived at your house?” she asked.

“It’s just an expression. I went over your daddy’s house a lot to play,” you said with a smile. “So, Jensen said fire in the backyard? Am I to assume the famous Ackles smores will be served?”

“You help pack up the kids for outside and we’ll get this thing going.”

“Hey, shrimp,” asked Josh a few hours later, the kids all up in bed in the house aside from Harper who was passed out on Jensen’s chest.

“Yes, Joshua,” you said, sipping on your beer.

“How’re Drake and Devin doing?” he asked. “We sort of fell out of touch when they moved up to New York.”

“Those guys are good. Off being lawyers. Shockingly enough they didn’t get in the NBA like they planned,” you said with a laugh.

“Wasn’t that the boys plan?” teased Mac. “Your older brothers were like super hot though.”

“Your older brothers were super hot,” you said.

“Josh was not hot,” said Jensen.

“When I was 14 and you got an older brother, he was pretty hot at the time, Jensen,” you laughed.

“I always knew shrimpy had a crush on me,” he said.

“Uh, no. That was reserved for someone else,” you said.

“I wonder who that could be,” said Jensen, pulling a yawn and stretch, putting his arm over your shoulders.

“How’s your dad doing, Y/N?” asked their dad. “He retired yet?”

“No. No. He’s still got a few years left he says. My brothers and I keep trying to get him to quit but we think he doesn’t want to sit in an empty house by himself,” you said.

“He never found anyone, did he,” said Jensen.

“No. After my mom got sick, he focused on us and on work. I think that’s part of the reason me and my brothers were always over your guy’s house so often. Dad was always working two shifts. You guys fed us dinner most nights of the week,” you said, pursing your lips, catching the look on his parents faces. “You knew that, didn’t you.”

“It was always obvious that you and Jensen had a special friendship,” said his dad. “You two were attached at the hip from day one. When you started coming over to play, we started noticing a few things. We had a conversation with your dad one night before he picked you up. We offered to help. He was reluctant but we found out what happened with your mom and he let us help eventually. That was around the time your brothers and Josh started playing together too.”

“I know,” you said, staring at the fire, feeling Jensen rub your shoulder. “The Ackles were always nice to the Y/L/N’s.”

“I’m gonna put Harper up to bed,” said Jensen, nodding for you to follow. “We’ll be back in a minute.”

He picked her up easily and brought her into the house, returning down to the kitchen with a smile after a moment.

“My sister in law is conked out but I think they’re fine,” he said, heading back for the back door. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just remembering...when we fought, I sort of lost your family too,” you said.

“I know they’ve only tried to embarrass me about fifty times today but my family did always love you too, Y/N.”

“You love me?” you asked.

“I did. A friend love for sure. We still have to figure out the rest of this. I’m not ready to say it. I may never be,” he said.

“I enjoy just hanging out again,” you said. “Even if your family apparently made a lot of bets on us getting together.”

“You haven’t even heard half of them,” he chuckled. “Come on. I bet there’s still some smores left out there.”

Two Days Later

“Hi guys,” you said, spotting Harper and Taylor playing with some chalk in the driveway. “Where’s your dad?”

“He got a big letter in the mail. He went under the front porch,” said Harper, pointing down towards the front door, Jensen sitting at an outdoor table with his back to you.

“Alright. Well, your dad invited me over for dinner so I’m gonna go say hey and then I’ll be right back,” you said. You made sure they were okay on their own before you wandered down and poked Jensen on the shoulder, Jensen nearly jumping out of his seat. “Sorry.”

“Y/N, no, it’s fine. You’re early,” he said, looking at his watch. “Or not. Shit. Shit, I was supposed to have the food in the oven and those two need to get out of the sun.”

“Alright. You take a minute to yourself and I’ll get them inside and washed up, okay?” you said. Jensen nodded and you rubbed his arm as you walked past. You gathered up the kids, letting them show you where they kept their chalk in the garage, leading you inside and showing you around a little before you got them both washed up at the kitchen sink.

Jensen made his way inside by the time you were in the family room playing with them. He forced a smile on his face as he worked in the kitchen a moment, closing his eyes once he had the oven door shut.

You left the kids and wandered over, Jensen sighing as he shoved some papers back in a manila envelope.

“Jay...what happened?”

“She’s giving up custody. She filed the paperwork. All I have to do is sign apparently,” he said, running his hand over his face. “How the hell did I end up with a person like that?”

“Are they better off with or without her?” you asked.

“Without for sure,” he said.

“Then remember that. You love ‘em and that’s all they need right now,” you said. He nodded, letting a half-smile cross his face. “I’ll watch dinner and the kids. Go get your head on straight.”

“No, Y/N. I’m really okay,” he said.

“You’re really not. Go before I force your wimpy ass,” you said.

“Alright,” he said, gathering up the papers and taking a step out of the kitchen. “Y/N, I don’t know how you came back into my life at this exact moment but I’m glad you’re here.”

“Go on, Jens. I got everything covered.”

“Thanks for tonight,” said Jensen, the kids passed out in bed as you sat on his back porch.

“Just because you knew it was coming doesn’t make it easier,” you said.

“You knew your mom was sick when you were little, didn’t you,” he said.

“Yeah. My parents told us. I didn’t understand really, not until after she was gone,” you said. “You’ll be okay, Jay.”

“I know. I don’t know how to tell them,” he said.

“Tell them their mom isn’t able to be a mom anymore and leave it at that,” you said.

“Harper’s the one that’s old enough to ask questions,” he said.

“Don’t say anything until it’s final. Maybe when she’s back from her vacation, she’ll say something to them, alright? Try not to stress too much and just enjoy the few weeks without her.”

Two Months Later

“Ackles,” you said, ruffling Taylor’s hair as you walked into Jensen’s house after work. “Where’s daddy?”

“Harper’s room,” he said with a frown.

“Something happen?” you asked.

“She thinks daddy’s getting rid of us too,” he said.

“Oh, Taylor,” you said, picking him up. “Your daddy’s never getting rid of you. He loves you so much.”

“Mommy did,” he said.

“Come on, let’s go find those two,” you said, carrying him on your hip up to Harper’s room, Jensen scowling at her closed closet door. “I see it’s going well.”

“Harper. Y/N’s here,” said Jensen. The door flung open and she ran over to you, grabbing onto your leg.

“Make daddy stay,” she said.

“Stay where, sweetie?” you asked.

“Harper, I have to travel for work. It’s just a little while and I will be home every weekend,” he said.

“I hate you,” she said, letting go of you and storming down the hall.

“I got her,” you said, setting Taylor down and going down the stairs after her. She moved pretty fast for a five year old and you barely caught up to her before she could rush outside. “Hey, you know you’re not supposed to be outside without a grown up, Harper.”

“Can we live with you? Daddy’s going away too,” she said.

“Harper,” you said, picking her up and carrying out to the backyard, settling her in your lap on the oversized swing back there. “Daddy isn’t going anywhere. He has to travel for work. He won’t be gone too long and he’s going to call you every single day. I promise. He’s not going anywhere.”

“Are you?”

“No. No, I’m not going anywhere either,” you said.

“Are you still gonna come over every day?” she asked.

“Of course. You and me are gonna bake cookies and go swimming and ride bikes. We’re going to do all the stuff we do now. Your grandparents will be here during the day is all,” you said.

“Promise?” she asked.

“I promise, sweetie.”

One Week Later

“Alright,” you said, Jensen tossing his backpack on his shoulders. “You got everything you need?”

“Well, I can’t bring the other things I want,” he said with a smirk. “There’s a couple of short people around here I’d like to accompany me but otherwise, I’m good.”

“Text me when you land,” you said.

“Will do, sweetheart,” he said, pecking a kiss on your lips. “Y/N. You really don’t have to come over every day just to hang out with the kids.”

“I know I don’t have to, Jensen,” you said with a smile. “We’ll try not to destroy the house too badly.”

“Thanks,” he laughed. “I’ll talk to you in a few hours then.”

“Talk to you soon, babe.”

_____

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #au #rpf #spn fanfic #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfiction

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sunriseseance · 4 years

Note

HECK YEAH alrighty here we go then! 1. Broadly: what do you predict we'll see from Klaus in s3? I know you've mentioned him snapping a bit- what're your thoughts on what that might entail? (1/?)

I think that Klaus is experiencing his first full moment of independence, especially power independence, at the same time he is experiencing extreme emotional turmoil. They’ve told us that alcohol (at east) does jack shit to prevent his powers. I think that he has spent a long, long time with people who (IMO) do care about him, but don’t think about him all that often. “Klaus is still Klau” as a modus operandi for the entire family, at least at default. Now he no longer has a Powerful or Moral (although I have my problems with this interpretation) Ben to lean on, I think we’re gonna see a Klaus who is coming into his own, who is hurting deeply in ways the sibling do not (and possibly cannot, Klaus lies and masks A LOT) know, and who feels that the turmoil inside of him belongs outside.

2. Do you expect to see Klaus’ powers expanded on in s3, and if so, how do you think they’ll go about that? I think levitation and telekinesis would be amazing but seeing as they’ve already given those away to his siblings, I don’t think it’s all that likely. I love your clairvoyance theory (more on that shortly), and I've been playing with the idea of a telepath or empath Klaus, something akin to his "channeling" powers from the comics. (2/?)

I think that probably the primary thing in store for Klaus is commanding ghosts and being possessed. These play together interestingly and are both extremely powerful. He can command an army without a second thought, and they listen to him, but also if he slips up they can jump in his body, he’s gone and they’re in charge. It’s an interesting and fruitful dichotomy and power structure. Also I think he can make ghosts possess other people. They made a big point of showing that Klaus was conscious before Ben entered Vanya’s mind. If he can command spirits, and spirits can possess other people that is a great deal of power. (Also, like, Klaus is able to make Ben not possess him. Neither of them may know it, but he DOES command spirits. He does.)

As to his comic powers, I think we may very well get them!! They’ve teased levitation multiple times in s2 alone, and I think this idea that a show about shitty superheroes would care if their powers were redundant does not quite vibe with me. Like, what’s the point of Luther if Vanya can stop bullets and lift a tank with sound waves. Klaus’s version of TK could EASILY have its own niche (no need for a trajectory or sound waves). I don’t want to promise that it’s coming because, like, focusing on his psychic related powers is more cohesive, but I don’t think that the option is in any way off the board.

3. If they go ahead and give him clairvoyance, how would you like to see that play out? 4. Similarly, do you think his possession powers will be explored further in s3? (3/?)

I think that giving him clairvoyance would be a very handy plot device on top of being interesting for the character. Klaus’s powers have pushed him to the extremes of apathy. Imagine what that would look like if he has the capacity to know everything? He is a person who deals with the hurt of others by denying everything. He has had too much asked of his empathy and compassion. Giving him clairvoyance gives him access to all the hurt in the world. I would love to see that. I would love to see his brain forcing him to care about people because in this particular regard he CAN 100% help.

Yes absolutely I think his possession powers will be explored further. I know this is a controversial subject, but I think the show took care to make it clear that is is awful and terrifying for him (however it was for Ben) and that it plays interestingly with his ability to summon and command spirits. It serves as a way to even the playing field, almost. He command them, they can take him over. That’s scary for everyone. I don’t think this is one and done at all.

4. I would LOVE to hear more about your thoughts on Hotel Oblivion's influence on TUA s3- disclaimer, I haven't read the comics (yet). (4/?)

YES OKAY. Based on my own personal desires and my knowledge of the comics (Sparrows locked up) and also the Sparrow crest, I think s3 is going to include at least some of Team Zero locked in the hotel. It could EASILY be all of them, but I could see Reg deciding to keep Five, and even Vanya. This would be interesting because it allows Five to age, allows Five to rest, allows Vanya to see the horrors of actually BEING on a super hero team, and requires 1-4 to save themselves, and in my IDEAL world, save Five from Reg, as well. It would be so fun to watch 1-4 escape the hotel and rescue Five. IMO the hotel is going to be the best if it is treated as a piece of horror. Not something they can understand, something simultaneously enticing and hostile, and something that they have to fight their individual Bullshits to escape. Whoever is in it. I think that would be beautiful.

5. How would you like to see Klaus' character develop this season? Seeing as s2 has left him unprecedentedly broken, I think this will lead to an AMAZING pay off in s3, esp when it comes to him being without Ben. His powers have so much potential (even w/o the comic book expansion pack) but they have all have come back to Ben's help. This is true of his choices too- Ben is constantly supporting/criticizing him. I'm so excited to see him alone and newly independent. (5/?)

YES SO MUCH. We watch Klaus shatter and regress completely in s2. I know a lot of people feel he wasn’t treated with respect by the narrative, and I respect that, but my general thinking is that this is a part of the whole, and everything we saw of him is in line with a) intense hurt b) the act he puts on. I think that Klaus shattered in s2. He killed the love of his life, he relapsed, and he did his best to make sure nobody cares about him. Ben turned into more of a harmful figure in his life than ever before, and now he’s lost him completely, left with only guilt, resentment, and complicated feelings.

I think Klaus is going to actually have to DEAL with himself. He’s been able to deflect or hide or bury his hurt and his power and everything else. Like you said, he relied on Ben for a lot, and now it is only him. I think he is going to externalize the chaos he feels inside (and so does Sheehan), and I think he is going to have to confront who Klaus REALLY is, whatever that means. I think he will admit he is powerful, he is hurt, and he is angry. Ultimately, I think this will lead to him with more balance, and he will have a better understanding of himself. But I think he MUST snap a bit first. Nobody takes him seriously, not even himself. He has to change that before he can move on.

6. How would you like to see Klaus' relationships with his siblings grow this season? I am wondering how him mourning Ben will be received by his siblings. I am also thinking a lot about whether him hitting rock bottom & truly alone for the first time will push him to be more vulnerable and open with his siblings OR if it'll be his breaking point where he shutters out everything he can, emotions and more OR a mix of both. (6/?)

This is a really good question. I’m not at all sure I have a definitive answer, but here I am typing anyway. I think the obvious setup of the first 2 seasons is that everyone thinks Klaus is fine, and that he can Manage, whatever that looks like. This includes Klaus. So my Most Fruitful Idea is to show that he isn’t fine, in a way he cannot hide. I feel like possession could be a good start to this, but so could him diminishing in his ability to respect ghosts, or many other things. Basically, I want the siblings to see through Klaus’s act. None of them, fucking none of them, ever have. He’s done his best to make that the case. I want the act to spread thin in s3, which I think is supported by how the act looks in s2, and I want the sibs to see through it finally, and I want it to be almost too late because he’s lost and angry and goddamn POWERFUL and he knows them in ways they have never known him.

Also, I like the idea of Klaus and Allison snapping together. They are the two who lack hope, the two who accept as a blanket the end of the world, the two who enable each other, and also the two who bonded with Vanya. Seeing them go down a dark path, and seeing Vanya recognize it and help them stray away from it? Amazing.

7. Any songs you would love to see in s3? (7/7) Sorry for the IMMENSE amount of questions, comments, and concerns, I have been pondering these things for weeks and since I always adore your tua content, I would love to hear your thoughts and any input from others!!

YES SO SO SO MUCH

I would love “Be True To Your School” by the Beach Boys because of the 60s and the irony factor. Any Bob Dylan song would send me to an early grave due to joy, but I’m gonna say especially “A Hard Rain’s A Gonna Fall” which is an incredible song about futility and trying and hurt. I also love the idea of ANY Masseduction by St. Vincent song, but I would especially nominate Masseduction, Young Lover, and Happy Birthday Johnny.

ALSO NO NO NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE AT ALL THIS WAS SOOOOOOOOOO FUN OH MY GOD do this any time (or come off anon and into my DMs I promise I’m friendly). Thank you so so much!!!

#The Umbrella Academy #Tua spoilers #klaus hargreeves #allison hargreeves #answered #FUCK

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bobbystompy · 3 years

Text

My Top 88 Songs Of 2020

Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.

88) Katy Perry - “Smile”

Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.

87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”

Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?

86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”

I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:

1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?

2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”

Favorite stretch:

Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough" You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"

85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”

Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.

84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”

Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).

83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.

(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)

82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”

Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.

81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight”

He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.

80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”

Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.

79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”

This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.

78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”

Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it’s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.

77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”

The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.

76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”

Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.

75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”

Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.

74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”

For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.

73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids”

On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.

72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”

Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.

71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”

This band name will never match what the music sounds like.

70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”

The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.

69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”

An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.

68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”

The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).

67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”

This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:

I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.

Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.

66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”

Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.

65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”

Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.

64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”

A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.

63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”

Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.

62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”

Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:

This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement. It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long. If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time. I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place. Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.

So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.

61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”

Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.

60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”

This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.

59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”

Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.

58) PUP - “Rot”

Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.

57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”

This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.

Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).

56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”

Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.

55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”

An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.

She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.

That beat, too.

54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”

If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.

(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)

53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”

The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.

52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”

Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.

51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”

Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.

50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”

Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).

49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”

Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.

48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”

Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.

47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”

I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).

46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”

Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.

45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”

My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.

44) Charli XCX - “claws”

Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.

43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”

This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.

42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”

This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.

41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”

Purifying pop.

40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”

Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.

Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.

39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”

This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.

(* - though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)

38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”

Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.

37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”

Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.

36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”

This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.

35) BTS - “Dynamite”

Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.

34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”

Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?

(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)

33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”

Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal

Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.

32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:

Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.

/scans lyrics

/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line

Me: Ahh.

Sax solo, take us out.

31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”

A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.

30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”

Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”

This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.

29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”

Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?

Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.

28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”

This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:

- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”

- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”

- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”

And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!

Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.

27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”

This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.

(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)

26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”

A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.

25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”

100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.

(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)

24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”

Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.

23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”

Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.

22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”

Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.

21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”

Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.

The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.

20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”

This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.

19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”

The first time I met you, we were on the last bus You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us

Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.

18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”

Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.

“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.

17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”

Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).

But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:

I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.

16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”

NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.

15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”

“I can’t breathe”

On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.

14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”

The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?

13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”

Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.

12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”

The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.

Dressed to kill for oblivion

11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”

Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end).

10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”

My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).

9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”

The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.

One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.

I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.

Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.

8) Mac Miller - “Good News”

Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...

Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.

7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”

I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit

We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.

6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”

Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.

And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.

5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”

It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.

SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.

Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.

4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”

This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.

3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”

There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.

Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”

Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”

2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″

The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:

Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop The whole world saw the video and watched Now justice is long overdue Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue

I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.

All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.

1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”

Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).

In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren’t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.

Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.

The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.

(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)

MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.

It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).

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bobdylanrevisited · 3 years

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Blonde On Blonde

Released: 20 June 1966

Rating: 10/10

The finale of the electric trilogy, another masterpiece that pushes the boundaries of Dylan’s singing and penmanship. He described this album as the closest he’s ever gotten to the noises in his head, a thin mercury sound, metallic and bright gold. It was also the first double sided rock album, and his first without an acoustic track, with Dylan continuing to blaze a trail in popular music. Although this album may not be as ‘deep’ as its predecessors, it’s still a thrilling musical adventure that again makes you forget his folk origins, and embrace his role as the leader of a new style of ‘pop’ song.

1) Rainy Day Women No. 12 & 35 - The look on people’s faces when the album opened with this must have been one to behold, it sounds nothing like the Bob we know and love. It’s more like a Mardi Gras parade, with trumpets blaring and the band’s joyous screams, all revolving around a pun on the word ‘stoned’. It’s a brilliant opener, both upbeat, funny, and unlike anything that came before it. Whether the song refers to weed, hedonism, his pious status, or the ancient punishment, it’s hard to argue that ‘everybody must get stoned’.

2) Pledging My Time - A severe change of gear for this track, a much slower blues number, which reworks a number of older blues lyrics, to describe the promise to a lover in the hopes that they will reciprocate the feeling. It’s a fine song, though it does get somewhat lost on the album due to the longevity many of the other tracks have endured.

3) Visions Of Johanna - Generally agreed to be one of the finest songs ever written, it’s no wonder this has remained one of Dylan’s favourites ever since. It’s a colossal piece, proving that no matter what instruments are on the track, the writing is still the soul of what Dylan is doing. Not only are the vocals among the best he’s ever recorded, the song weaves a vivid picture of his strive for perfection. Much like the previous two albums, Bob uses metaphor and surreal imagery to express personal emotion and you can’t help but hang on his every word. You are transported into a dreamlike state, also searching for Johanna and your own personal idea of flawlessness, though for me that may very well just be this song.

4) One Of Us Must Know (Sooner Or Later) - A song about the ending of a relationship, which should be a bleak affair, but I can’t help but singalong and grin as I listen to this brilliant tune. Although it dissects and defends bad behaviours that caused the couple to sour, the instrumentation and the rousing chorus are a joy to hear, and it’s easily one of my favourite tracks on the album.

5) I Want You - At odds with the previous track, this a sweet love song, once again populated my characters and imagery that only Dylan could conjure up. Much like the rest of the album, the tune and melody of this song are remarkably beautiful, and this is certainly Dylan’s most musically ambitious, yet accessible album so far, with this track being another highlight. The song has also been reworked a lot live, and sounds just as beautiful as a ballad, which Dylan played a lot in the late 80s/early 90s.��

6) Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again - I think this may be my favourite song on the album, with apologies to Johanna. Whilst it’s simply just another surreal story with a mad cast of people, I absolutely adore it. Again, the tune is catchy and fun, the singing is perfect, and the whole thing comes together to be a track that fills me with indescribable happiness. The live Hard Rain 1976 version is also phenomenal, it’s impossible for this song to sound anything other than amazing.

7) Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat - A satire on fashion, and a lover continuing to wear her new hat in increasingly compromising situations, this is another blues song with a great guitar arrangement and sounded brilliant on the 1966 Live tour. It’s not one of my favourites on the album, but it’s a good song that talks of jealousy and materialism, with the bluesy sound being the main attraction.

8) Just Like A Woman - Potentially written about Edie Sedgwick, this sounds like one of Dylan’s tenderest songs, but the lyrics are actually full of vulnerability and regret. One of Bob’s most popular songs, possibly due to the gentle tune and the grounded imagery, I’ve personally always found it a tiny bit overrated in comparison with the rest of the album, though I understand it is an easy introduction to Dylan for the average listener. However, I will admit that the song is spellbinding when performed live, particularly on the 1966 tour.

9) Most Likely You Go Your Way And I’ll Go Mine - A very literal tale of a breakup, this is again another song that feels joyous despite the content. The guitars and drums add a very fun layer to the tune, and it’s another track that hasn’t got a deep message, but is just a brilliantly sung rock song that helps make this album the most musically enjoyable yet.

10) Temporary Like Achilles - Another blues number about a breakup and a new lover. There’s not much to write about this one, other than it’s again a fun tune, this time revolving around a double entendre: ‘honey, why are you so hard?’

11) Absolutely Sweet Marie - This is another catchy tune, and whilst it’s still influenced by the blues, it is more upbeat. Much like the previous track it’s full of innuendo, but it sounds like a ‘pop’ song that you may hear on the radio, with a more restrained style of singing from Bob. It’s another fine song which would be considered more a filler track, if not for the line ‘to live outside the law you must be honest’, which is one of his most quoted lyrics. It shows that even when he’s not telling a mad story or protesting injustice, he’s still the world’s best songwriter and can toss legendary lines into a largely throwaway song.

12) Fourth Time Around - Written as a response to The Beatles ‘Norwegian Wood’, Dylan uses this dark tale of a lover’s fight to take aim at John Lennon’s ‘new’ style of writing, that sounded an awful lot like it had been stolen from Bob. Musically, it is the same as ‘Norwegian Wood’, with the last line warning ‘I never asked for your crutch, now don’t ask for mine’. Basically, Bob’s telling John not to take his style, whilst also perfectly showing the world that he’s still the best at storytelling and his brand of unique phrasing. This song would haunt John Lennon for some time, as he was paranoid about Dylan’s feelings towards him, but in the end Lennon went in a new direction and Bob remained friends with The Beatles, so any beef seem to be short lived.

13) Obviously Five Believers - Much like previous tracks, another bluesy tune with lyrics about a relationship and wild backing musicians, this is a good little song to dance and singalong with. Robbie Robertson’s guitar playing is particularly impressive on this track, and his playing throughout the whole album is one of the highlights.

14) Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands - Bob had married Sara Lownds three months earlier, and this 11 minute poem of love, beauty, strength, and heavenly romance is an incredible tribute to her. Though much of the album is filled with sombre lyrics about relationships ending and striving for a perfect woman, the closing track is all about how Bob has found what he has been searching for. It’s a gorgeous song that is not only some of his most heartfelt writing, it’s a uncompromising wedding vow that is full of genuine emotion and is brimming with positivity, something Dylan doesn’t often write about. It’s an incredible conclusion to the album, and to this period of his career.

Verdict: Once again, my hyperbolic words can’t do this album or career period justice, for a 25 year old to release three culture changing masterpieces in the space of 15 months is unfathomable. Whilst it could seem somewhat ‘sell out’ with the more radio friendly songs, the whole album is just a thrillingly perfect journey through Dylan’s emotions and experiences, relationships ending, searching for meaning, and finally finding happiness. This album once again includes some of the best songs and singing of his entire career, and the overall sound throughout the record is much more mature and composed. Even the tracks that seem a little more filler are still brilliantly written songs that eclipsed the popular music that was being released at the time. The album is my (joint) second favourite thing he’s ever released, and sadly it would be the last of this particular ‘Bob Dylan’, as he was once again about to cocoon and re-emerge a new man. Following a motorcycle accident in 1966, and his settling down with his new wife and children, the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle was about to be abandoned for a more mellow, more relaxed, and more ‘country’ sound.

#bob dylan #blonde on blonde

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joshslater · 4 years

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Keeping Up Appearences

A slightly tweaked ending from the original. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

“I’m ready to switch back whenever you are,” I said, looking up from my spot on the couch. My scrawny body had just come back from class, and I could only assume that Dylan was ready to get out of it. “I passed your Physics Midterm with flying colors, and as an added bonus, you had a pop quiz in Trigonometry that I aced for you”, I added.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Peter, once again, I’m in your debt. This is, what, the fifth test you’ve passed for me? Anyway, let’s switch back.”

He gestured over to the now-familiar body swap device in the closet. We both slipped on the device’s headbands, and I closed my eyes as Dylan started up the machine. It had a tendency to swap without warning, and the sudden change in vision was very jarring. I stood there, waiting, listening to the various clicks and thumps of the machine. Nothing. Then several thumping sounds. I cautiously opened one eye, only to see my body angrily pounding the device.

“It’s not working!” Dylan yelled. “Why isn’t it working?” He spun around on his heels, staring me down before I could even react. “You! What did you do to the machine? You’re trying to steal my body, aren’t you?”

I felt myself panicking, despite being in the taller and stronger body. “Dylan, I swear, whatever is happening, I didn’t do it. I swear! If I was gonna steal your body, I would have done it ages ago! This is… some sort of malfunction or something!”

“I… shit, you’re right…” he paused, stroking his chin. “I just… I have no idea what’s wrong with this damn thing. And now we’re stuck like this.”

“It’s… it’s fine,” I said, as if it was up to me to decide. This was Dylan’s body, not mine. Sure, he had mine, but that was hardly a prize. “We can… we can just stay home this weekend. Until we fix the machine.”

“Yeah, I… shit, no you can’t! I finally got invited to one of the football team’s keggers! Do you know how unheard of that is for a second string? I can’t not be there! I… you’re gonna have to go to that party for me, Peter.”

I could’t believe my luck, but then immediately realized what I needed to do. “Dylan, are you serious? I can’t… Dylan, those parties are swarming with sorority girls! What happens if someone wants to have sex with me?”

He paused, reached into his sock drawer, and tossed me several condoms. “No glove, no love,” he said.

“Are you serious!? I… Dylan, you want me to get laid? In your body?”

He sat down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Look, I know this is weird as hell. But… I have a reputation to maintain. If someone wants to have sex with the D-man, I’ve got to be a stud. Besides, I… trust you, okay? You’ve been in my body so many times, and you haven’t betrayed my trust at all. I know this is asking a lot, and I know we need to study really hard together to pull it off... but... but I’ve seen you on game night when you and your band of role playing geeks come together. You, if anyone, can pull this off.”

I felt weirdly proud hearing him praising me, for my role playing abilities of all things.

“Man, it’s not gonna be easy... You need to be able to hold a reasonable conversation about football, charm girls that approach you and get your rocks off with her wanting more. Let me start you off by queuing up some videos for you. You need to get comfortable enough to do this drunk and horny... and perhaps even have a good time while at it.”

Dylan closed the bathroom door and exhaled a sigh of relief. It had all gone off without a hitch. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, with Peters face looking back at him. He wasn’t bad looking, Peter, but he was a shy, introverted, nerdy twig. Dylan honestly didn’t mind being stuck in his body, which was why he hadn’t been afraid to break the machine, but being stuck forever wasn’t the plan. Once this is all over Peter would be neither shy nor a twig.

As he had expected Peter felt duty bound to play him as accurate as possible. He hadn’t lied when he told him he couldn’t think of anyone better to research and perform as him. Making the swap so close to the party forced the issue of sex and talking to girls. Once past that everything would get easier. Next week the plan was to get into more of a steady pace, teaching him how to eat and work out, to maintain his body. They would need to do football practice also, just the two of them, so he could quickly at least come off as an injured version of Dylan. They could make a cover story that Dylan was working out with his room mate Peter while he was recovering.

But Dylan’s plan wasn’t just to teach Peter how to maintain his body. He would do everything right for the next 2-3 months, or however long it took. Find and stick to the right macros. No cheat days. Metabolic conditioning. Workout like clockwork. Get enough rest and sleep. When he eventually decides to reverse back the diode in the machine Peter will not only have mastered to swoon and successfully dick down any girl with confidence, but do it in a befitting body. And he would know how to keep in shape.

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kurtty-drabbles · 3 years

Text

Postwoman au (part 10)

N/A: The aftermath of the discovery and bonding moment. I guess

@dannybagpipesarecalling @tieflingteeth @muninandhugin

Meggan Puceanu is a succubus, a fact no one is stupid to ignore, however, Succubus are more than- as the media love to portray them- "attractive people who like sex" because their powers are never speculated throughout the media.

Meggan is hovering through the flooring-bare foot as her hair is growing and glowing- with a mug safely hold in her hand. "Good morning, Captain Crunch" waving with a free hand to Brian who looks drowsy as his only open eye glare at Meggan, and some words are exchanged.

"Funny" Brian states and rests his head on the table again.

Meggan studies his form. His sleeping sounds are cute, in a way. "Did I overdue?"

Brian makes a negative sound, only a British could pull this off. "No, I´m always this lazy on Sundays, don´t worry"

Meggan accepts this response only after Brian lifts his head to show his face. Healthy but still very much drowsed. The man yawns 2 times and slowly lowers his head and rest.

"This is a fine morning, you can´t be that lazy!" she jokes and offers a nice cup of coffee.

"It´s our free day. It´s our right to be lazy" Brian pipes in looking at the aforementioned coffee with some disdain and curiosity. "Your hair is glowing, does it means something magic is going on?"

Meggan´s lips are thin line. Her eyes wandering to the small kitchen to make sure no goblins are listening. Once her eyes scan all the interior, no signal of goblins listening for now. "Remember when that fellow arrived here to help us with vampires?"

Brian lifts his lips as his blue eyes are confused. "Uhm, we dealt with vampires all the time. Blade even help us one time, care to be more specific"

"Oh, right. I forget...we really dealt with an infestation of vampires lately. I´m talking about Nightcrawler, do you remember him?" Meggan explains as she stops hovering the flooring.

"Oh, that blue man...can I say blue man?" Brian is not sure if the blue man is a slur or not. "Yeah, I vaguely remember him...I forget his name. Why?" Brian can feel his sleepiness leaving his body as Meggan is holding the mug with her two hands.

"He´s an old God. A God of destruction and punishment..." Brian´s eyes widen and Meggan giggles at that. Brian can make cute reactions even if is not related to her feeding. "I think is funny because it´s sort similar to our relationship...I´m a succubus, I´m dangerous. And he seems to be fond of a mortal woman"

Brian blinks again. "Ok, you´re talking about that petite woman who hogged all the coffee while she was here?" Brian remembers Kitty Pryde, if not for her love for coffees, then it was her dedication and efficiency in the mission. "Kitty Pryde, right? Why bring her and Nightcrawler on this lazy Sunday morning?"

"He´s an old god with a soft spot for her...Brian, soon enough, they´ll be our next case"

"Oh...what we do with a god of destruction and punishment wanting to be with a mortal?"

"I´m thinking more if she´ll have his children...it happened before" she almost giggles at his expression. "Not with me, silly, but he slept with a mortal in the 50´s and it results in a demigod"

Brian hummed in agreement.

"If they stay together..."

"Meggan, honey, it´s a lazy Sunday, let´s not think about demigods."

"Fine, but I call dibs if she ended up preggo"

"Uhm, not sure if it works like that"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Kitty Pryde took a license for a few days. Technically speaking, Kitty has the right to take a few days offs, however, no one is faulting for wanting to extend those days thanks to her latest mission-which everyone is notified of such happenstance involving Kitty and the boss- so, now, Kitty Pryde is watching the pouring rain hitting the window of her apartment.

Doug Ramsey materialized in the apartment donning with Latveria´s robes. Holding an award signal by King Doom. "Hey, Kitty, how are you?"

Kitty looks up at him. Forlon eyes stare at hopeful blue eyes. No response was given.

"Right, uhm, a bad day at the job can cause you emotional scars" Doug takes some cards and starts to speak. "You´re sensational, don´t forget that, kiddo"

Kitty brow frowned as Doug continues to read motivational lines. "Doug, what are you doing?"

"Reading things to cheer you, up"

"Doug, what the fuck?"

"Hey, you did the same thing when Dylan broke up with me...we´re both socially awkward"

And Kitty laughs at this admission and tears follow from her eyes. Once her breathing normalizes, the woman speaks. "Oh My God, that´s so true"

"Yep, we´re such turtles"

"No, you´re a turtle...and I´m not even sure what this means"

"Feeling better?"

"A little"

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt Wagner was presenting his case, well, rehearsal his last case, when the portal opens to reveal one Kitty Pryde shyly stepping in. "Can we talk?" she notices the papers. "unless you have something else to do...the harpy trials was last month...right?"

Kurt looks at the papers and nods without care. "It´s not important...if you want to talk, we can talk" Kurt delegate his papers to the desk without minding where it lands.

"Look, I..." she takes a deep breath to dive into such troublesome conversation and thoughts. "I saw what you did in the past, those things haunted me...and I want to know why are you here? Working as Krampus is atonement or it´s something else?"

Kurt didn´t blink. His yellow eyes are too glowing. "It was a long and complex story, the rundown version is that...my followers forsake me, time and beliefs morphed into something I couldn´t give" he explains scratches his neck bemused.

"So...there´re people who enjoyed seeing that" Kitty chuckles humorlessly. " Ok, I can see that...and it was awful"

"I turned into Krampus to adapt the modern times. I turned into Krampus to compensate for what I did"

"And...?"

"And...I never shy away from my past. I know what I´m...and I should have told you, but, I´m ancient ...thought my past is not relevant"

"You should have told me...I was there, you know"

Kurt looks away. Kitty comes closer to meet him half-way. "it was an emergency"

"NO!" Kitty points her fingers at Kurt. "It was laziness or fear on your part. You had time to braid my hair, could have spare some time to tell me WHAT I could find and WHO would be there"

Kitty closes her eyes. She must continue. "I saw a side of you...I wasn´t prepared to see and what hurts the most is that...you didn´t want to tell me...no, maybe what hurts the most is that I thought you should tell me..."

Kurt opens and closes his mouth a few times, until, he finds the words. "I was selfish...I thought I could keep you ignorant about my past even when is impossible, can you forgive me?"

She looks up at him. She looks down and up. Until she finally speaks. "I can´t forgive you quickly...is a healing process...it helps if you tell me more about you, the person I´m seeing now...not the vengeful God I saw in the past"

"I like ice cream and love dogs" Kurt summarize his two favorite things. "Also, I´m a great acrobat"

"Really?"

"Really!"

#Postwoman au #kitty pryde #kurt wagner #Kurt is an old god #kurt is also Krampus #Doug and Kitty are socially awakard #Conversation #Meggan Puceanu #Brian Braddock

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darriness · 4 years

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Ranking Professionally Record Darren Songs!

Absolutely no one asked me to do this but I felt compelled to do a personal ranking of all the songs Darren has professionally recorded and released. For the sake of my sanity I left out any song that is ‘in character’ so there are no Blaine songs and there are no songs from any of the Starkid shows (Not Alone is there but it doesn’t REALLY count as a Starkid song anymore in my opinion). I also left out the Christmas song he did with Lea because...it’s not Christmas and he was more backup for her than anything else.

To qualify for this list the song had to be professionally recorded (not live), sung at least in part by Darren, and not been a song performed as a character.

Some songs I added a favourite line for but only if I felt compelled to do so (I didn’t make up what line was my favourite just to have one for each song) and I didn’t include a favourite line if the song was a cover.

Did I forget some songs? PROBABLY. But it was fun either way. So now, without further ado: my completely unprofessional, personal rankings of Darren’s professionally recorded music from worst to best.

21. Sami

Human EP (2010)

Sorry for those of you who like this song but it is by far my least favourite Darren song. It BORES me. Also, who is this Sami? I feel like after all this time I should know why he wrote this song…wait, this was the song he wrote for AVPM and he changed it from Ginny to Sam,i wasn’t it? Why Sami though? Because it rhymed with Ginny? Did he know a Sami? I feel like there needs to be more of a story to that one that I don’t know but yeah…this song just bores the crap out of me. I don’t even have a favourite line lol.

20. I Dreamed A Dream

Independent Elsie Fest Release (2017)

Homework EP (2017)

This one is…fine. I think I liked it a lot more before he ‘cheated us’ out of a new song on his Homework EP and just added another recording of this song which he had already released a recorded version of. This song is fine, he does a fine job of it, and I like the fact that he said when this song comes on the radio it’s a good day for his mom and Mia. But I just can’t really get behind it.

19. The Joker/Sweater Song

Scary Pockets (2018)

He looks drop dead gorgeous in this video but I just don’t…get this song. I usually skip past this one when it comes on my shuffle. I probably wouldn’t be so fast to skip past it if I could watch the video every time lol.

18. New Morning

Chimes of Freedom (2012)

I like that he did this one with Chuck. I like the video. I’m just sort of meh about the song itself. I have never been a Bob Dylan fan so that could be why.

17. Wonderwall

Scary Pockets (2017)

I’m actually surprised how low this song is on the list. I actually love this song but when compared to the ones I put above it, it’s just a song. He sang it well, the original song is a classic, the arrangement is pretty good, and he looked adorkably hot in the video but it doesn’t really stick with me as an amazing song when compared to some of the others on the list.

16. The Day That The Dance Is Over

Homework EP (2017)

I WANT to like this song more than I do. I think maybe I’m missing something but it just never…lands with me as well as I want it to. It’s good, well written, and he sings it well it’s just not one I go out of my way to listen to (I usually skip past it actually). I do love the live version from the Teragram show where he forgets the beginning and has to ask Chuck though (also the very very beginning of that version is one of my two favourite ‘fan’ moments where a girl sighs ‘I can’t’ all emotionally lol). Much like Sami, I don’t really have a favourite line in this song.

15. We Like It

Lost Boys Life (2017)

Meh. It’s not fast enough to be a dance song but it’s not slow enough to be a ballad. It’s a weird in-between kind of song that always confuses me a little bit and then makes me angry because songs shouldn’t confuse people so much for those reasons lol. It’s okay, I don’t HATE it, I just don’t really LIKE it either. No favourite line here!

14. I Still Think..

Little White Lie (2009)

So I know I wasn’t going to put in any character or show songs but I feel like this one has become enough of a ‘Darren’ song for me that it counts. I really like this song and it’s got a nonsensical quality to the lyrics that is pleasing to the brain but it’s not as complicated or as well done as some of the song higher on my list in my opinion.

Favourite Line: “It’s okay though, the jokes on the television make me laugh.” (only because when he sings it live he usually goes ‘HA!’ after this line lol)

13. Lost Boys Life

Lost Boys Life (2017)

I struggled with where to put this one, because while I feel like it’s a better song than We Like It, I still don’t think it’s a great song. Turns out I don’t have the greatest love for Computer Games music (this is news to me! lol). Nothing really more to say about this song except no favourite line here!

12. Human

Human EP (2010)

I love this song and while it’s admirable that he wrote it when he was like 15, it’s too… simple to be higher up on the list. It’s cute and well written and nostalgic but it doesn’t really have any WOW factor.

Favourite Line: “I feel like an artist whose lost his touch” (because I love how he plays that line live)

11. Dress and Tie

Dress and Tie (2011)

This song is my jam when it comes on my shuffle but it’s also one I forget about CONSTANTLY. When it comes on my shuffle I am always surprised it’s a thing. That’s mostly why it’s as low as it is on the list. Because otherwise I really like the lyrics, the video (the SMILE?!), and it’s got a good groove to it. I just…forget about it all the time.

Favourite Line: “No, I haven’t known you for a lifetime but somehow I’ve never been more sure that you’re for me. Baby, please, don’t, don’t leave just come and dance with me tonight.”

10. Don’t You

Human EP (2010)

We’re in the top ten! I feel like this song is a simpler version of I Don’t Mind. Maybe because they both have ‘don’t’ in the title? I don’t know lol But either way, this song is cute and makes me smile. It doesn’t have a really big impact or leave you feeling any large emotions but it does make me smile every time I hear it. Side note: It’s not my favourite line but every time I sing along and get to ‘Sure…I’ll admit that I’m…’ I ALWAYS sing ‘a whore’ at the end even though the actual line is ‘the same’. With the way he says ‘sure’ it just feel like ‘whore’ should be the end of the line *shrug*

Favourite Line : “The sun. Telling me the night is done. Well I refuse to let it stop our fun. Close your eyes, we’ll make it dark again.”

9. Every Single Night

Lost Boys Life (2017)

It’s fun, it’s danceable, it’s a bop! I like that there is a ‘dance’ for the chorus and I think the video is fun and adorable. This song makes me happy, makes me smile, but it’s not the most impressive song I’ve ever heard in my life. It serves a purpose but that purpose is really just to allow me to bop my head, do that stupid dance at the chorus, and picture Darren in those colourful turtlenecks lol. I also think it’s funny that while shooting this video he had to leave and get tested for what duct tape would be best to wrap around his head for ACS. No favourite line here!

8. Going Nowhere

Homework EP (2017)

This song is…soothing. That's the best word I can think to describe it. It calms me down to listen to it. It doesn’t wow me or demand I listen to it, but it’s pleasant and sweet and relaxing to listen to. It’s…nice.

Favourite Line: “Another October, I’m sorry I know you’re, expecting a less than sober call” (It just…rolls off the tongue even though it’s not a happy line)

7. Crash Into Me

Crash Into Me (2019)

I really really like this version of this song. I love the drop and the danceability. I spend a lot of time listening to this song jumping around. This song suffers for me in the live performance of it. Darren’s never really been able to sing it live and while I love him…he’s not really an EDM type in my brain so he always seems out of place. But the recorded version is awesome.

6. Dancing In The Dark

Scary Pockets (2019)

I’m pretty sure I love this version more than the original. It’s got such a good groove to it and I love his deep voice and the WOO he does in the middle and then at the end? LOVE. I know he didn’t write it and probably had very little to nothing to do with arranging it, but I love his vocals on this and I adore this version of this song. I also thought the video was fun.

5. Jealousy

Human EP (2010)

This is my favourite song off his Human EP (besides Not Alone but I feel like that is in a different category now). I love the lyrics and it’s just…pleasing to listen to. There are a lot of ‘ee’ sounding rhymes and I appreciate that lol I don’t really have much to say about this one except I love when he does it live and you get to play the ‘will he go up for the ‘the bitch just keeps telling me no’ line or not?’ game.

Favourite Line: “Now let’s be real I feel just like a child, man, someone could be takin’ all my toys. So call me dumb, call me wild, see that’s the thing with little boys.”

4. One Fine Day

Independent Elsie Fest Release (2018)

So his version of this song is better than the original. I will fight anyone who disagrees lol It’s got such a good vibe, the video is so fucking hot (he’s just standing their playing his guitar…WHY IS IT SO HOT?!) and the guitar solo is just…yeah *chef’s kiss* I also ADORE that he doesn’t change the gender in the song (a fact that still confuses and doesn’t sit right with my mother no matter how many times she listens to it). This version is definitely a winner.

3. Not Alone

Human EP (2010)

Not Alone (2015)

Classic Darren. This song will always hold a special place in my heart because it’s the song I sing to my oldest nephew whenever I get to put him to bed. It’s got a great message and received the star treatment to become a fully realized recorded version (though I do love the original Human EP version as well). It gets this spot on my list because it’s just around ALL THE TIME lol It’s a go to for him, kinda like Teenage Dream, and while it’s good to lean into what works, I gave higher spots to the ones I love that aren’t so overdone.

Favourite Line: “And nothing’s ever gonna bring us down cause nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it’s true.”

2. Foolish Thing

Homework EP (2017)

I MUCH prefer this song live so it suffers a little because it’s recorded version lets me down. When this EP came out I was SO excited for this song but then it got a little clunky (with the random clang of ‘pots and pans’ at one point) and strange (with the children singing backup). That being said, I am SUCH a fan of the lyrics in this song. They’re nonsensical in a way that really works for me (like I Still Think but better!) Also you can never go wrong with horns I feel!

Favourite Line: “But a prince in distress needs a damsel to test what he always feared”

1. I Don’t Mind

Homework Ep (2017)

This song just makes me so fucking happy. I love how jaunty the guitar is with the picking, I love the swell of the string instruments (string instruments in songs are ALWAYS awesome), I love the video (short hair for the win! And I love that he shot it in their house at the time), I love the lyrics, I love the message. There is nothing about this song I don’t love.

Favourite Line: “Babe it ain’t no thing, that viper venom sting. Cause even if it got your goat well I’d kiss you with the antidote.”

So there you have it! Do you agree with my choices? Let me know :)

#my love #darren criss #this was fun #and also took me a long time so maybe read and comment? lol

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ribcagecarnival · 3 years

Audio

ADMIT ONE • VIOLET SKIES

I first heard Violet’s music while coping with heartbreak in January 2019. Her song “Cry For Me” is peak crying on the dance floor music, which is, frankly, the only genre that matters. A year later, she caught a set of mine at a house show, and we immediately linked up to write. Turns out we have great musical chemistry and we get along very well just as people, too. Her music often calls MUNA and Robyn to mind for me, but her love for folk titans like Joni Mitchell is also apparent. Check out this playlist of songs that move the wonderful Violet Skies (plus her reasons behind each selection). Her ticket to the Carnival is good for a lifetime.

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell The song I wished I’d written. The song I try to write. The lyrics, the melody - HOLY WTF. Unimaginable genius that she is, and the most simultaneously clear and vague expression of love’s totality. 14 year old me heard this through my Dad, who said Joni Mitchell was a true artist and made sure I listened to every single one of her albums. I will NEVER be over this song. Even the title is just insanely beautiful in its duality of meaning.

Zero to Hero - Hercules Hercules was my first true introduction as a child to gospel music (I grew up in Wales don’t judge me) and honestly the vocals on this film, insane. The runs, harmonies, energy - as a child it was nothing like I’d heard before and I learnt this song back to front and still to this day I think it’s insanely good songwriting, musicality is just *chef’s kiss* and the women on this song MAKE that entire film.

Can’t Help Loving That Man of Mine - Showboat Original Recording I sang this 3 times for my ‘show song’ portion of my singing grades. Everyone else usually chose something like Phantom of the Opera or something more classical, because it was a classical singing grade. So I’d sing like a few arias, something in German and then three years in a row I sang this because I thought it was (aged 12) the most wonderful song ever. Lyrically, it’s rather toxic for a 12 year old girl, honestly, but I was a hopeless romantic and having never kissed a boy at 12, the VIBES on this song were just so dramatic and I loved it. Also Showboat had me and my sister in tears the first time we watched it aged 6, I don’t think my Mam realised how traumatic it was when she put it on for us to watch.

Goodnight My Angel - Billy Joel Billy Joel, songcrafter extraordinaire, writes lullaby for his daughter, I die. I aspire to this level of craftsmanship and yes, this also makes me cry. Please go and listen to this song.

Make You Feel My Love - Adele’s version Bob Dylan wasn’t someone my parents played so I didn’t know he wrote this. Adele is just TONE and WARMTH and this song again, is so dramatic and over the top and also subtle in a way that moves my very being. I sung this so many times as a teenager and it began my love for Adele. Ballads never get old, the good ones age like fine wine (I don’t actually like wine but whatever) and they continue to be relevant and timeless in their message.

Samson - Regina Spektor Only recently did I realise that this song has affected my songwriting and is 100% behind my obsession with the chromatic 1-2-3-4 chord progression that is the PERFECT pre-chorus in my opinion. This song is just GENIUS. A song about a modern day relationship with Samson, iconic in its own way (Wonderbread!), paralleled with the original Biblical tale of Samson. Melody and lyric and piano come together in a way that really separates Regina from her peers and this song will live on for decades. The song is so specific, almost unrelatable-to in content, but it makes so much sense on an emotional level and that, that, is songwriting.

Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill She wrote it. She produced it. She’s a feminist searching for equality of experience. She’s exploring gender. She’s talking to God. She’s creating iconic sounds before her time. She is Kate Bush and I will not hear a word said against her. Big Boi does a whole interview on this song and he GETS IT. Go watch that because he explains it so well.

At Last - Etta James I sung this at every talent show I ever did and every shitty pub gig in my teens. This song! Her voice! Nobody sings like Etta. She is effortless. This song shaped my voice and I credit this song and Etta James with helping me learn runs, vocal control across my chest and head voice, and how to really sing something and mean it. When people talk about how music of black origin underpins all modern music, it’s songs like this and artists like Etta they are talking about. She is a foundation, a cornerstone in the development of the modern vocal.

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap Imogen Heap is really tall in real life and even more wonderful. I heard this first through my sister who played it to me in the car and I lost my mind. THE VOCODER. The melody. I don’t ever know what she means really, completely, (like Bon Iver) but like, god i feel it. *That* moment in the song is so insane and I hear it all the time in my own music. Wild! It’s so wild how 30 seconds of a song can change the entire way you think about music and shape your own musicality.

I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know - Donny Hathaway Amy Winehouse sings in Rehab “cos there’s nothing you can’t teach me…that I can’t learn, from Mr Hathaway”. She’s talking about Donny Hathaway and she’s right. Donny Hathaway’s voice is bottled soul, a depth of feeling most normal musicians will never in their lives. He ‘taught’ Amy and it shows. This song I covered and never released, but I also practiced production for the first time when I made it. The drama of this lyric too - admitting he isn’t perfect, knowing he doesn’t express his love properly but yet this song is the ultimate expression of love.

Wannabe - Spice Girls Changed my life. First album I ever got (from the tooth fairy). The Spice Girls were the soundtrack to my very early years and there are many videos of me doing dance routines to this song. If I wanted to be a pop star, this is where it started. Also don’t tell me that ZigAZigAHHH isn’t genius!?! This song is something a modern Kpop band would release. That iconic laugh at the start?! I went to their reunion tour with my sister, she was a few month’s pregnant and we both BAWLED because the nostalgia and full circle moment was just too much.

Love Is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse Lyrical perfection. Real songwriting. Conceptually perfect. Amy Winehouse changed my life because I saw a woman with a guitar on stage singing lyrics I understood, lyrics I thought were clever and funny and vocally she just outshone everyone around her. When Amy passed away I was at a friend’s garden party, my Mam rang me and I cried in the toilets and no one could understand why I was so sad, she’s the only famous person I’ve ever really cared about like that. I felt I knew her and I owed her so much. The world owed her more and I miss her. I love to imagine what she would be like in today’s music world and what she would be writing. But the two albums were enough to keep me listening for a lifetime. This song won an Ivor Novello award and I think it is real art.

Jealous - Labrinth I’m jealous I didn’t write this song. I think this song is on most people’s I WISH lists and does it even need explaining!?!

33”GOD” - Bon Iver What do the lyrics mean? How do you pronounce Bon Iver? What does the title mean? How do you even arrive at this song when you start writing?! The production is so game changing and the Bon Iver SOUND is so unique and has affected the entire music industry, seeping in to pop and mainstream. Even Taylor knows. But this song is the one I played on repeat. I still don’t know the lyrics but I know I feel like a firecracker underwater when I listen to it and that can’t be a bad thing.

Rude Boy - Rihanna This is one of the sexiest songs ever. It changed how I thought about women and what it means to be comfortable in yourself and your own sexuality. I’m just gonna leave it at that.

Retrograde - James Blake “SUDDENLY I’M HIT” and my entire brain blows off. I played this on repeat when I moved to London and when I finally met him a year or two later I said probably nothing of consequence and likely made an arse of myself but what I should of said was “retrograde changed my life”. It shaped how I think about production, made me think about synths and the interaction between organic and synthetic sounds and the use of a songwriter’s song in a non traditional setting. James sets the bar so high for all of us and we just jump around trying to come anywhere close.

#admitone #admit one #ribcagecarnival #ribcage carnival #violet skies #playlist

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dearjohnnyflynn · 4 years

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https://thelast-magazine.com/tlm13-johnny-flynn/

JANUARY 22, 2015 ACTORCULTUREFILMMUSIC

TLM13: JOHNNY FLYNN

A resonator is a type of guitar built for a sound many generations old. It hums and shines, as if an acoustic guitar was broadcast through a tinny phone line. Rather than a wood sounding board, the heart of the guitar is a metal cone, ornately decorated, that brittles the sound and projects it even without electronic amplification. Resonators are rarer now; they’re hard to come by. But they carry a unique magic in their sound, their history, and their owners.

It was one of the first things he purchased with his record-deal money, and it has followed Flynn’s eclectic artistic path as band leader of the Sussex Wit and now as an actor, where he strums and plucks it through Song One, a film about a folk musician searching for inspiration and finding it in a woman and the New York music scene she traverses.

“I’ve learned that when a creative path dies out, another door opens, and you have to stay loose enough, present enough, and absorbent enough to figure out what path you have to walk down,” Flynn says in his soft English accent. “That sounds like a terrible cliché, but being in creative industries, for me, is a spiritual path.”

Flynn has been carving that path, guitar in tow, with a balance of wide-eyed enthusiasm and artistic curiosity. He has sought out company that emphasizes shared forms of creativity, whether onstage, on camera, or in the pubs and music nights of London’s early-Aughts folk scene.

Flynn is in London now helping produce English singer-songwriter Nick Mulvey’s album. We speak after a studio session with Flynn in a cab back to his London flat just after sunset, a small break from a schedule that has permitted him more time to his songwriting and the musical community that gave him so much of his identity. Flynn never left music, but he felt the need to slow down to give acting his full focus. “I hate having to rush a job because you need the space to say what you have to say with your fullest voice and as much confidence as possible,” Flynn says.

“Not being honest in those circumstances is my version of being sacrilegious or blasphemous. There’re lots of ways of doing something, but if you find a way that’s true, then you’re happy.

Several years ago, Flynn stopped touring in order to pursue a series of increasingly meaty acting roles, including a run at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre in the acclaimed, all-male Shakespearean troupe Propeller. Now Flynn’s about to have even less time, thanks to a breakout role in Song One, opposite Anne Hathaway, and the upcoming Olivier Assayas film, Clouds of Sils Maria, opposite Juliette Binoche, Kristen Stewart, and Chloë Grace Moretz.

In some ways, it has improved his songwriting. “I’m never going to abandon music,” Flynn says. “I was dragged back out to play shows here, and it was a good thing to be reminded that this is something I love doing.” Flynn’s friends did everything they could to “drag” him out for some gigs. It helps when your friends happen to be Mumford & Sons, who actually played one of their first performances opening for Flynn. “So many bands only get to write songs about the view from their hotel window, but I get to work with language and be inspired by that,” Flynn continues. “That seems invaluable as a song- writer. I am very grateful for that.”

To hear Flynn sing is not to see him. His solid build, tousled hair, and craggy features absolutely do not set you up for the lilting way his lyrics seem to fall and float out of him. His voice can crackle or rise sweetly into a falsetto, all while singing stories of small towns, large hopes, and even larger characters.

There seems to be a minor groundswell of British folk musicians waiting for Flynn to finish with all this acting business and get back to music full-time. But Flynn embodies a new creative state of mind, one that is not bordered by form— musician, actor, painter, poet—but one that applies considerable talents to tell better stories.

The story of Song One hews close to Flynn’s own. James Forester is a folk guitarist, resonator in hand, searching for inspiration. Forester, like Flynn, is exceedingly polite, a dewy-eyed talent capable of heart-grabbing honesty both onstage and off. “In terms of lifestyle and where his head is at, a lot of that stuff came from conversations with Kate [Barker-Froyland], the director, of what it was like to be a musician out on the road,” Flynn says. “I think he’s a character that is quite close to me, so I have to find a fine line. In real life, I’ve got a wife and a kid.”

Song One’s music went through a similar process; written for—but not by—Flynn, he used the songs as a way to find his character. “That’s what being an actor is about,” Flynn says. “You’re doing a good job if you’re serving the piece. It was quite a relief in a way to not have to worry about every aspect of the music. I think I enjoy giving up that leadership role for those situations.” The collaboration between Flynn and songwriters Jenny Flynn, Johnathan Rice, and Nate Walcott resulted in an album, which they recorded on weekends between shoots. Even though the songs are not Flynn’s, it’s hard to imagine anyone taking them from him. There is a stamp Flynn places on his projects, a vibration that is all his own.

In a way, Song One best captures the hell and catharsis of creativity. “You sometimes lose your way or you end up turning out the same stuff for a while, and before you know it you end up losing your inspiration, what put you there in the first place,” Flynn says. “And then you find it.”

What put Flynn there in the first place was an old book of hand-written folk songs and The Freewheeling Bob Dylan. Born in Johannesburg, Flynn moved with his family to Hampshire, England, when he was three. He earned a music scholarship, picking up violin and trumpet, but classes felt forced and dull.

“I learned to play the guitar using an old songbook of my mum’s that she’d handwritten, and it was full of traditional folk songs, songs that she loved,” Flynn recalls. “I got really obsessed with the Bob Dylan songs because they were really exciting to me. I was studying music as a music scholar, but I was listening to all of that stuff.”

Folk music has a tendency to take care of its own, and Flynn found himself mingling with the artists who would come to define the modern folk sound in its early London years. He and some friends established a music night, called Apocalypso, with fellow folk musicians Emmy the Great and Tom Hatred. “We played with people like Laura Marling when she was starting out, and Florence from Florence and the Machine when she was around,” Flynn says. “It was an early scene to be a part of in London at that time when I was forming my musical identity. When I was growing up, we didn’t have much money, but it was about finding something to do together.”

If Flynn found a musical family in Apocalypso, it was a mirror of his own upbringing. “My dad was writing songs in the Sixties and Seventies, and my mum sang songs and had been a folk singer in the Seventies,” Flynn says. “My older brothers are actors and keen on music. Yes, I guess, I loved hanging around backstage when my dad was doing shows. That atmosphere was what really infected me and made me want to become an actor. It seemed like this magical world of storytelling that my family was privileged to be involved in. Because I went away to boarding school, and I was studying classical music, my way of rebelling was to write my own music. I just fell in with a group of friends who liked to make music and were obsessed with studying the history as well, both American and British. Those are our heroes. It kind of took me over.

It was Emmy who initially introduced Flynn to resonator guitars. She had an old metal resonator lying around and Flynn took to it. “At one point I was crashing on her sofa and I was using her guitar a lot,” Flynn says. “I used it for a lot of bedroom recordings and things, and I fell in love with it.”

That guitar, with its odd metal heart, helped Flynn find his voice, a voice he is now rediscovering in film. “I think playing characters onstage and things like that has told me that you can take on various entities and channel your own voice through the habits of a certain character, the rhythm of someone else’s voice or using someone else’s language,” Flynn says. “But you still have to have your own heart in the middle of it.”

Song One is out January 23. Clouds of Sils Maria is out April 10.

Zachary Sniderman is the associate editor of The Last Magazine.

Styling by Celestine Cooney. Hair by Lee Machin at Caren. Grooming by Jenny Coombs at Streeters. Photographer’s assistants: Iain Anderson and Alec McLeish. Stylist’s assistant: Poppie Clinch. Digital technician: Mike Harris. Production by Lucie Mamont.

Zachary Sniderman

Photography by

Ben Weller

#johnnyflynn #johnny flynn

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starfxckersinc · 4 years

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people frequently get asked about who’s influenced them as musicians, but are there artists out there that you’ve heard and your response is like “I never ever want to sound anything like this”

There are plenty because, though I’m pretty easy to please musically, I’m not very good as a genre person and I tend to cherrypick the best artists and then throw away the rest as imitators. For example, there’s plenty of punk bands that I think are just regurgitations of better/more interesting bands, and I’m always afraid that I’ll sound like them instead of clearly being influenced by bands that I like. For example, I would never attempt to write anything that sounded like The Sex Pistols, The Dead Boys, Flipper, The Dead Kennedys(whose politics I respect but whose music isn’t anything I haven’t heard before), etc., I don’t want to write anything that sounds like three washed out chords and a slimy masculine voice complaining wanting to kill himself or hating the government- I like both of those topics as songwriting topics(huge fan of The Stooges and Nirvana obviously) but there’s a particular ineffectiveness in the way those bands deliver them that just leaves me cold, and especially in the case of the Pistols, just kind of embarrasses me. You have to have some level of charm or originality when you say the same thing over again and the problem with a genre like punk is that you can easily bend its DIY no talent necessary charm into something that excuses laziness instead of encouraging ingenuity, therefore I only actually like a handful of bands that fall under the punk umbrella as opposed to every obscure Real Punk Band™️ that ever existed. I wouldn’t have done well on the Olympia scene lmao.

Also, there are plenty of artists I look up to who do shit musically that I would never want to repeat even if I like their work. I like Nick Cave a lot but let’s be honest, his ego is 90% of his music and he’s more of a writer than he is a songwriter. I understand he’s following in the footsteps of artists like Cohen and Dylan, and I think arguably even Tom Waits, but all three of those artists could respect when they were doing page-writing and when they were writing a song. Nick doesn’t seem to have that filter....And I’m not even opposed to doing spoken word songwriting myself, but once again, I’d want to do it more in the style of Harry Partch because that’s more interesting to me than like....Moody piano. He can make his own particular style work for him obvi but when that happens it’s because his emotion overrides his naturally deadpan tone, so something like Skeleton Tree is an honest to God masterpiece that I couldn’t touch in my lifetime, while The Boatman’s Call is painful to listen to unless it’s the right day. Regarding my own music I’m working the best I can to have an actual Singing Voice, because I think it’s easier to convey emotion if you’ve got more than three notes, and when I sing something and it sounds like Nick Cave I basically never want to sing again.

Iggy also does plenty of stuff I wouldn’t want to repeat- I think he’s a very passionate, excitable person without a whole lot of musical talent, so he does his best work when he has a musical force behind him that can actually give him a platform for his natural abilities(i.e., spontaneous lyric writing). However, when he doesn’t have a musical force to bounce himself off of he seems to be sort of stuck when it comes to what he’s able to accomplish. Despite him denying it I think he’s Very aware of his own image/what’s expected of him, and I think it’s a little bit hard for him to divorce himself from that, so in terms of ‘trying new things’ it takes him three albums to break into something interesting instead of someone like Bowie, where it was two at most ever in his career. Not a single good, well respected artist from the 70’s was able to handle the 80’s(because of how nasty and wealth-oriented they were, look at what mainstream rock music turned into) and Iggy gave it his best shot and got some decent work out of it- However there was a lot of backwash from that period that I wouldn’t ever want to sound like. This remains true throughout the 90’s as well, though once again there ARE some good songs, they come from him being able to break away from who Iggy Pop is supposed to be into what he wants as an artist. I that if I manage to have a career in music I would want to A) never have a solid image or expectation from a crowd and B) I would want to have a good enough grasp on music to be able to support myself without needing somebody behind me.

Beyond all of that analytical shit, there’s also bands that I just fucking hate, which I’m sure are more along the lines of the answer you expected instead of 3 paragraphs that took me an hour altogether.

THE MOST IRREDEEMABLE BANDS IN MUSIC HISTORY

- The New York Dolls. You know who likes the New York Dolls? People who like every single Cool Obscure Punk Band, and all of the hair metal icons who also don’t have anything original to say, any musical talent, or any creative power whatsoever. The New York Dolls paved the way for straight men in the 80’s to dress up in terrible drag and continue the grand rock n roll tradition of fucking pubescent girls. They are not glam rock and they barely qualify as punk. They’re proto glitter metal. The New York Dolls are not fun because they’re trashy, they’re just kind of sickening to be around.

- Dave Matthews Band

It’s a running joke in my household that I, and my drum prodigy brother(therefore placing him on a high enough pedestal to have musical opinions), hate this fucking band so much it’s unreal.

- The Rolling Stones

I don’t actually hate the Stones I just hate that I’m supposed to like them for doing essentially Rock, the cornflakes kind. They’re a late 60’s rock band. That’s all they are. They wrote You Can’t Always Get What You Want and it began my history with depression. Thanks Mick Jagger.

- The Melvins

Obviously bitter because they’re less popular than Nirvana despite pioneering the grunge genre, I’d be way more willing to hold them up as underappreciated geniuses if A) I found their music anymore interesting than any other early/proto grunge(I don’t because I’m not a cisgendered hegerosexual man), and B) Buzz Osbourne wasn’t so insufferable. I really can’t even judge them musicially because I just don’t like Buzz that much.

- The Smashing Pumpkins

The Smashing Pumpkins can actually write tunes and I’m actually very curious/eager myself to test out their version of dream pop(Less Mazzy Star, more My Bloody Valentine), but oh my God Billy Corgan’s singing voice. I mean, Billy Corgan himself, but holy shit. I know I ragged on Iggy and Nick but they’re tolerable as artists because they’ll openly admit to not being particularly good vocally(which I think Iggy is honestly too hard on himself for but that’s a different paragraph altogether). Billy Corgan can’t admit that he’s just not that talented, and I know Courtney praised him for writing hooks when everybody else was writing noise because the rich college kids didn’t have to worry about making money, and that’s fine, but once he started Making money he could’ve afforded to experiment more(and I’ve only heard the band’s first two albums but like. Oh Mellon Collie and the infinite hit factory) but I don’t think there was ever somebody willing to divorce themselves from the norm inside Billy Corgan. And obviously I hate him for being a fuckhead. So there’s that.

- The White Stripes

Meg White is cute and cool and has anxiety issues like mine but good lord I don’t like Jack White, and worse than him I don’t like their music. I don’t like the incredibly derivative ‘pop blues’ riffs, I don’t like their senseless half-worded lyrics, I don’t like their ‘we listened to the Stooges so we can play three notes forever and that’s valid creatively’ attitude. To be fair, I think that’s all more Jack than Meg, but however the chips fall I experience their music with slightly more interest than I experience a commercial.

Thank you for this ask!

#aberdeen spoken word #THIS IS SO LONGGGG BITCH

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winchester90210 · 5 years

Text

The BH 90210 Rewrite. 1x09: The Gentle Art of Listening.

Rewrite Masterlist

Read the previous chapter here!

My work is not to be reposted and/or edited without my expressed written consent. (Reblogging is fine and encouraged!!)

Chapter Summary: Who the hell is Nina?

Warnings: Mentions of sex, jealousy, swearing.

Word count: 2,200

A/N: I did skip 1x08 due to there not being a ton to do with it, and if I did write it, it would have been reeeaally short haha. But that means there’s a bonus chapter of some kind coming soon! Next week we’re tackling 1x10: Isn’t It Romantic? which means the start of Dylan and Brenda!

Feedback is incredibly appreciated!

Crowds of people gathered around the schoolyard, hip-hop music booming and people cheering as the cheerleaders carried on their routine.

“Brandon, did you sign up for Battle of the Beverlies?” Steve taps his friend on the shoulder as he walks up, sun beaming brightly onto them both. His blonde curls were firm in their place, thanks to the substantial amount of hairspray he applied this morning.

“I would have, but since I work nights it’s difficult. What about you?” Brandon’s dirty blonde hair blew in his face, making him crinkle his nose.

“I’m in the uh, coed tug of war,” He smirks.

“Well, aren’t we all?” Dylan sneaks up behind them, in his usual white tee and leather jacket.

“Hey Dylan, I didn’t think grudge week would be your kind of thing,” Brandon greets.

“Grudge week is every guy’s thing,” Dylan chuckles as Steve snickers and puts on his sunglasses.

“What? I don’t get it,”

“Well, a lot of the girls get into the uh, the spirit of the scene and try to pick up older guys,” Steve grins, “Looks like Y/N’s enjoying this tradition herself.” He nods his head over to where you are– leaning with your back against the lockers, hip jutted out, twirling your hair as you talk up some senior jock. “Brandon, I thought you locked her down already?”

“Nah, she… we… agreed to be friends,” he explained for what must have been the umpteenth time that week. Brandon stiffened as he watched you over there with him, as the guy scribbles something down on a piece of paper and hands it to you.

“Mom, this is not funny,” Brandon gripes as his mother scrubbed at the dishes. He adjusts the cap on his head and starts chopping up a tomato.

“I didn’t say it was funny, it’s adorable!” She fawns.

“Adorable? How about psychotic?” He argues.

You roll your eyes, “Brandon, she has a crush on you! It’s cute!”

“Right! You should be flattered!” Mrs. Walsh smiles.

“Flattered that a 14-year-old follows me around all day?! And, you know, the worst part of it is, if I accidentally make eye contact with her she pretends she’s looking over the rainbow or something!” You instinctively roll your eyes for the second time. Boy, he was melodramatic sometimes.

“She’s just shy, honey, that’s all. What’s her name?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care!” He sure acted tough for a guy that was helping his mommy make dinner. And he sure was cute. Even with that dumb blue backwards hat on.

“Oh, you’re such a heartbreaker!” Cindy jokes, moving to set the table.

“It’s because he can afford to be,” you quip.

“So, d'ya hear about what Brandon got up to last night with Nina?” Steve wiggles his eyebrows as you both walk through the halls together.

“Nina?” Whatever. You’re friends. And he can talk to other girls. Nothing wrong with that. You don’t care. Nina who?

“Just this incredible older woman he met at the peach pit. They spent some time after work together. Brandon was… pleased,” okay, so you care a little bit.

“And? What’s your point?” You try to hide the eagerness in your voice.

“Get this! She gave him… a foot rub,” your hand immediately comes out and smacks him hard on the shoulder.

“Don’t scare me like that! You think I care if he’s getting massages from people?” You stare at him in disbelief and he laughs, happily.

“That might not be all he’s getting from her soon Y/N/N,”

Striding down the hall with Dylan, he begins to speak.

“Y'know, Brandon was asking my advice on making it with an older woman… I’m gonna guess that he wasn’t talking about you,” He grabs your book from you as you walk to study hall in the library. Tread lightly, Y/N. Dangerous territory. Be calm. Cool. Uninterested.

“And? What’d you say?!” Dammit.

“I told him what he wanted to know,” he shrugs.

“No! Don’t do that!” You’re doing great. Super chill.

“It’s fine, the guy has no idea what he’s doing!”

“But you still encouraged him,”

“What should I have said?”

“Anything! "No” or “Stop” or “Hey! What about Y/N?! Do her!”“

"Uh-huh,” the smile on his face was amused, with a familiar yet unknown sparkle in his eye, “And you do realize that would require actually telling him how you feel, right?” You sigh.

“I just can’t believe him, y'know? He refused to sleep with Sheryl because he wasn’t in love with her, but now he’s ready to give it up to some old lady masseuse?”

“…How’d you know she was a masseuse?”

“Steve likes to update me on all things Walsh, whether I want him to or not,” you both enter the library together, quiet chatter fills the room.

You loved talking to Dylan, whenever you talked he listened. Truly listened. He absorbed every single word that fell from your mouth– carefully, intently. It was so drastically different than talking to Steve, who loved annoying you, or Kelly, who you felt was too shallow at times to have a serious conversation with (Okay, it’s not that she’s shallow, she’s great! But she doesn’t like talking about anything more complicated than the sale at Henri Bendel’s or Donna’s impending nose job.)

And… Brenda? You loved her, but you couldn’t talk to her about the raging feelings you had for her brother. And you definitely couldn’t talk to her brother about it, either. Dylan on the other hand… you got each other. As cheesy as it sounds. He could come to you with anything, and you could come to him. And it just worked. You clicked. In like, a total friend way though.

“What about the time he spent the night with you? You weren’t complaining about his pre-marital exploits then,” His eyebrows go up as you both pull out your chairs from the wooden library table.

“Dylan, we didn’t have sex! We talked and I fell asleep in his bed. Fully clothed, platonic, unproblematic,” You sigh defeatedly, resting your chin in your hand, “I haven’t been able to get myself into the peach pit for a few weeks. Because then I’d have to see him in that stupid all-white uniform, looking all… Brandon-like and I don’t know what I’d do with myself. On one hand, I’m totally cool being his friend and on the other… I’m a wreck and I’m missing out on Nat’s apple pie because of it,”

“Well, how about this? We go to the pit around 5, and if you still feel awful after Nat’s apple pie then we can retreat back to my place and watch Animal Crackers. Deal?” You pause.

“You’re on, McKay,”

You, Kelly, and Brenda lay on Brenda’s bed, with you in the middle, watching the wooden ceiling fan swirl around and around and around.

“Where do you think we’ll be in 10 years?” Kelly’s voice is quiet under the whirr of the fan. “Like, do you think we’ll be in a good place? Happy?”

“I hope so,” you mumble.

“I’m sure you’ll be in Paris or Rome, with a fashion empire and a gorgeous husband,” Brenda smiles.

Steve and Brandon hold their ears to the bathroom door that connects the two bedrooms.

“Steve, I really don’t think this is a good idea–”

“Relax, it’s a great idea. It’s the only way to hear what actually goes on in there,” Steve scoffs, “Haven’t you spied on your sister before?”

“Yeah, when I was 12. I’m 17, dude,” He scolds him in a whisper as you and the girls chatter on the other side of the door.

“Do you think we’ll be married?” Brenda rests her hands under her head, her brown hair shiny and soft under her palm.

“Oh, totally! Or at least… close to it,” You smile.

“Bren, your husband is gonna be totally cool– like a musician or a race car driver or something. And Y/N/N, your husband’s… ” Her genuine smile morphs into a mischievous smirk “Steve.” You give her an offended gasp as you all erupt into giggles.

“No amount of money in the world, Kel,” you shake your head and sit up against Brenda’s headboard.

Brandon silently cracks up at his friend’s misfortune and perfect timing, and Steve delivers a hard hit to his shoulder.

“Actually, y'know who you’ll probably marry? Brandon,” You’re drop-dead silent. Brenda notices the look you’re giving her and she continues, “No, I’m serious! You guys are like, meant for each other. You’re basically the girl version of him– just prettier, funnier, less annoying, and…actually, majorly out of his league… but still, I think you guys would totally work.”

“There’s no way, he’s too… Brandon,” you reject, “And he’s your brother. I couldn’t do that, Bren. It’d be like Kelly dating my brother!”

“Well… is he cute?” Kelly smirks, blonde hair blowing softly under the fan. “Oh! You got that senior’s number for me, right?”

“Come on, I feel weird doing this,” Brandon protests, “If I want to know something I can just ask, I don’t have to invade her privacy.”

“It’s not like we’re watching them through a window, we’re just listening,”

“Look, you stay here and be creepy, but I have to get ready for work,” He stands up with a huff, leaving his tempestuous friend to his own devices.

“So?” Dylan folds his hands as you take your last bite of pie.

“You were right,” You concede, sliding the empty mini tin away from you, “You could say this pie was the answer to world peace and I’d believe you.”

“Want one more?”

“Ah, no I couldn’t. I should probably get going,”

“Crazy, have one more! On the house!”

“Really, I couldn’t,” you insist. Dylan holds up a finger and mouths “One more” and Nat is off into the kitchen.

“The secret is the sour cream,” Nat smiles, small pie in hand.

You look to Dylan, then to Nat. Why are they forcing pie onto you?

“Look, if it’s too much we can share it,” Dylan shrugs. You hand him a fork and leave yours on the counter.

“Brandon should be here soon if you want to stay a minute, I’m sure the kid would be happy to see you, you know… considering,”

“Considering?” You sip from your glass.

“Considering,” he winks, and in one swift motion he’s gone with your empty dish. Okay, you were sure of it. This entire town was on drugs.

Not even 5 minutes later, Brandon comes in through the back, all-white clothes adorning his figure. Heart be still.

“Oh, hey!” He smiles brightly, the scent of his cologne immediately apparent. (When did he start wearing cologne?)

“Oh, hi,” you take one last sip of your water, “I was actually just on my way out.”

“You haven’t even touched your pie yet! You love my pie!” Nat interjects.

“You sit and eat, I’ll be right back,” Dylan’s off into the bathroom and Nat’s disappeared suddenly into one of the booths.

Those bastards.

“So, what’s been going on, Y/N/N?”

“You saw me yesterday, not a ton,” you shrug and stick your fork in your pie, “Hung out with Brenda and Kelly, took a biology test, bought street drugs off some guy in a van,”

He chuckles brightly, “Productive day, huh?” He leans down, propping himself onto the brightly colored counter with his elbows.

“Oh yeah, this might be my favorite part though,” you barely nod as your eyes meet.

“Mine too,” He smiles bashfully, that twinkle in his eye going strong.

“Uh, the– the pie, obviously,”

“Oh yeah, no, the pie’s fantastic,” He grins, “do you want some ice cream with that?”

“Yeah, why not?”

The regular hustle and bustle of the hallways was a-go as Steve and Brandon trailed down them.

“Hey Brandon, whatever happened to that older chick that was coming onto you?”

“Oh, we’re just good friends,” He shrugs.

“Face it, you blew it!” Steve shakes his head as he speaks,

“Nothing was blown,” Brandon argued, “I decided against it and called it off.”

“You know what your problem is? You’re hung up on this age thing. What you need is a girl your own age! Someone spunky… annoying… hot, maybe midwestern!” Although those wouldn’t necessarily be Brandon’s choice of adjectives, he knew what his friend was getting to.

“Steve–”

“No, Brandon. I’m sick of you bitching and moaning about this girl, and I’m sick of her bitching about you. Look, I mean this in the friendliest way possible– it’s annoying and you’re both pathetic,”

Brandon’s brows furrow together, “Gee, thanks,”

“No, look, what I’m saying is… Instead of moaning apart… moan… together,” Steve’s eyebrows bounce up and down as he finishes his sentence, paired with his signature Cheshire grin. How long had he been preparing that line for?

“Y'know, that’s very insightful, but I think I’ve got it covered,” Brandon laughs, “But seriously, never give me relationship advice ever again.”

Taglist: @be-patient-be-good @mpmarypoppins @bevelyhills90210 @blueoz @harleylilo88 @princess-ghost-alien @hueycat2004

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vinylexams · 5 years

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INTERVIEW with Brian Cook of SUMAC, Russian Circles, Botch, These Arms are Snakes, and Roy

Brian Cook of the MANY gnarly bands listed above took time to answer a bunch of questions that had been burning a hole in my mind for years earlier today. Did you know that aside from playing bass in some of the heaviest bands currently in existence, Brian is also an avid record collector and he also runs a very similar page where he posts all of his records and writes up a bit of history and personal context with each one? A man after my own heart! I’ve dropped a link to his Tumblr below and you’d be a fool not to go check it out and follow his work there.

https://bubblesandgutz.tumblr.com⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I really appreciated having a chance to talk to a very talented musician who also places a LOT of importance on physical medium and the recording process. All too often I get submissions from bands who either don’t know the in’s and out’s of the vinyl format or they took a lot of shortcuts and deprive their art a chance to really shine in the ways that vinyl allows. I picked Brian’s brain about his approach to creation of physical musical media as well as his history as a collector (and even tried to convince him to get These Arms are Snakes play my big gay wedding reception!). Thanks for taking the time to tell your story to us, Brian!

You've been a member of several incredible bands over the past few decades (Botch, Sumac, Russian Circles, These Arms Are Snakes), all of which have released pretty much everything they've recorded on vinyl. How important is the vinyl medium for you as a musician and creator?

Thanks for the kind words. It's really important to me for my music to have some sort of physical format. I realize that mode of thinking might seem sort of old school or outdated, but i've always been enamored by music as a kind of historical artifact. When I was younger, that meant it was important for me to have an actual Dead Kennedys cassette as opposed to a dubbed version from my friend. It was like the difference between owning a painting versus owning a xerox of a painting. When I became a musician, it was a sign of validation. By having a record with my name on it, I had created something that would potentially outlive me. And now in the digital age we've convinced ourselves that everything lives forever on the internet, but it's not true. Myspace just lost all their music. I've written for a lot of online music outlets that have closed shop or simply deleted old posts. Meanwhile, I have a trunk full of old zines that outlived the supposed permanence of blogs. So while the digital age is great for convenience and scope, creating a physical recording is really the more reliable way to make sure something exists for more than five to ten years, or however long it takes for the newest technological fad to become obsolete. Vinyl seems to be the longest lasting format, so it's my preferred medium. But if my music exists on tape or CD, that's fine too.

Do you approach your recording and production processes with specific formats like vinyl in mind? If so, what do you do differently? Absolutely. The main concern is that we're dealing with the time constraints of vinyl. For bands like Russian Circles and SUMAC who have really long songs, it means we have to be careful how we sequence our records because we can easily exceed the 22-minutes-per-side rule. We've also been told by pressing plants that it's better to have long drones in the middle of an album side than at the beginning or end because there tends to be more surface noise at the beginning of a side and more warble at the end, and drones don't do much to mask these imperfections. But while one can complain about the limitations of vinyl, there are also issues with digital formats that can alter the way an album is put together. For example, the digital version of Empros has a longer drone at the end of "Batu" than the LP version, partially because of vinyl's limitations, but also because digital outlets like iTunes don't recognize records with long songs as full albums unless at least one track is longer than ten minutes. So we stretched it out on the digital version so that we'd be compensated appropriately for our work, but condensed it on vinyl so that we didn't compromise the sound quality.

Of all of the albums you've contributed to, which one stands out to you as the one you feel most connected to?

Probably Geneva by Russian Circles, if I had to pick one. We wrote that record over the span of several months at a house in rural Wisconsin. It was one of those ideal scenarios I'd always dreamed of---hunkering down in some isolated retreat and just immersing ourselves in the writing process. I've never walked away from an album feeling as accomplished as I did with that one. It just felt like we'd achieved something that had previously been out of my level of expertise. I think we've made better records since then, but I don't think I've ever felt as successful in making the sounds in my head translate to the recording. With regards to my other bands, I feel that way about Botch's We Are The Romans, These Arms Are Snakes' Easter, Roy's Killed John Train, and SUMAC's What One Becomes. But Geneva will always hold a special place.

How did you get into vinyl collecting and how does it play a part in your life?

I started buying vinyl around '92 because it was cheap. My first LP was Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet's Savvy Show Stoppers. I bought it for $2. Then I discovered 7"s, which was the dominant format for hardcore and punk bands at the time. Throughout high school, I mainly bought 7"s because i could buy 3 or 4 a week on my allowance. And let's be honest... most hardcore bands in the '90s had better 7"s than full albums. But vinyl was so dead at the time that you could also go to thrift stores and scoop up the entire Creedence Clearwater Revival discography for the cost of one CD. Even new vinyl was cheaper than their CD counterpart back then. So it's a bit of a drag now considering that vinyl is currently the most expensive format, but I still get a thrill from going to record stores, digging through crates, and coming home with a new LP. I can't say I buy that many 7"s anymore though.

What do you think about the relatively recent resurgence of large-scale vinyl production and collection?

It certainly has its advantages and disadvantages. I buy a lot of reissues just so I can have a clean, good-sounding copy, so I appreciate the resurgence in that regard. At the same time, the vinyl boom has made used record shopping a bit more of a drag. I don't know how many copies of Neil Young's Harvest I saw in used bins throughout the '90s and '00s, and then when I finally decided to buy a copy five years ago, it seemed like they'd all been snagged and the reissue was going for $50. When the Zeppelin discography got reissued a few years back, I mentioned wanting a new copy of Physical Graffiti to my husband. He went to our local indie record store in Brooklyn and asked the owner if they carried it and he totally balked at the question. "Why would we carry a reissue when you can buy a used copy of that in any record store for $5?" he said. My husband was like "every used Zeppelin record you carry is beat to shit and goes for at least $20... what the fuck are you even talking about?"

If you had to pare down your entire collection to no more than three albums, which would you keep?

What's the broader context? Like, are those the only three records I can listen to for the rest of my life? Or is it just a matter of only being allowed to own three records? If it's the former, I'd probably choose Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks, Miles Davis' In a Silent Way, and a Can album... either Ege Bamyasi or Soon Over Babaluma. Ask me tomorrow and I'd probably list off a different three. If it's the latter... like, if i'm merely holding onto records because the actual artifact means a lot to me but I can still listen to music in some other capacity, then I'd probably go with the His Hero Is Gone / Union of Uranus split LP, Undertow's At Both Ends, and Sticks & Stones Theme Songs For Nothing, just because those seem like a pain in the ass to replace and they're important records to me. I have records that are worth way more money, but I'm not someone who buys records because they're valuable.

Do you have a "white whale" record you still haven't found?

Not really. For ages I resisted the urge to buy used records online, but I've since relented. The record that finally broke my ordering embargo was Hack's The Rotten World Around Us. They were a band from Adelaide, South Australia in the late '80/ early '90s who sounded like a grungier version of the first couple Swans records. Super heavy and scary. I got turned onto them through a 7" on Alternative Tentacles, but the LP was never available stateside. The first few times I toured Australia i went to every record store I could find in hopes of finding a copy. No one had ever heard of Hack. The singer was in another band called Grong Grong, and members of that band had gone on to be in King Snake Roost, Lubricated Goat, and Tumor Circus (with Jello Biafra on vocals), but no one had heard of them either. In my mind there was this rich underground of Australian noise rock from that time period that was still vital and valid, but the reality is that it was largely ignored and forgotten. I eventually found a copy online and bought it for $20. A year later i found a used copy in Boise. Oh well. I'd love to find Acme's To Reduce The Choir..., or an original copy of Popol Vuh's second album, or the Neu! 7", or the Greenlandic prog band Sume's Sumut album.

Hypothetically how much money would I need to raise to get These Arms Are Snakes to reunite to play my wedding reception? My family will hate it but my partner and I will be very happy, etc.

We still talk about doing some proper "farewell shows" since we bailed on doing them back in 2009/2010. Granted, now they'd be reunion shows, but in our hearts they'd be our proper goodbye. We're putting together a vinyl release of various odds and ends for next year, so maybe that'll give us an excuse to finally book something.

#vinylexams #vinyl #vinyljunkie #onmyturntable #nowspinning #sumac #botch #thesearmsaresnakes #seattle #taas #roy #russiancircles #briancook

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theloniousbach · 5 years

Text

50 Years of Going to Shows, Pt. 2: The Grateful Dead Universe

Part one of this series extrapolated from the conceit that the 9/4/19 Hot Tuna show here at the Sheldon Concert Hall also marked the anniversary of my Fall 1969 Johnny Winter concert that was my first rock show. 50 years!! That segment was about those early concerts in KC (well, a couple of Dylan shows in St. Louis and then Chicago).

The glaring omission from that note was the Grateful Dead (11/11-12/72; 6/16/74 Des Moines; and 10/28/77). I propose correcting that with this entry that can take up 7/26-27/94 and 7/5-6/95 (shows 4 and 3 from the end) plus visits with The Other Ones, The Dead, Furthur, Dead and Company, various Phil Lesh and Friends iterations (including the Q 3 times, the Campbell/Greene band twice, another time with Campbell, and this past summer with an Allison Krauss sit in); Ratdog maybe 5 times; Weir and Wolf Bros; and Joe Russo’s Almost Dead to whom I’ve passed the torch.

This is a quite modest Deadhead roll call, but it does include 1972, a Wall of Sound, and 1977. So I’ve been around long enough to have opinions.

And I do have opinions.

1972–The 11/11 show was all we thought we were going to get. A Sunday night show after them always missing us. There was a rumor then, pure fiction it turns out, that they opened (?!?) for Iron Butterfly (#@%!) in KC before I got on the bus (1969ish?). I was transfixed—the long unfolding two sets, pauses including for a cigarette puffs), the wide range of songs, the stacks of speakers and Macintosh amps even if it wasn’t quite officially a Wall of Sound show—but that’s all I remember. Set lists say there was a Box of Rain.

The second show got added and I was going to go no matter what—two school nights in a row. And that one is better fixed in memory because of an Owsley Stanley tape that captures a sprawling Playing in the Band to close the first set. I don’t need that tape to remember the Dark Star>Morning Dew, though being able to revisit it sure is a treat. It was in fact huge though I was beside myself from the opening notes announcing that the adventure was beginning. In the moment, I just knew it was happening and that was good enough then. It is a big big one though with lots of space travel before settling into the Dew. I turned grumpy about Dew but this one was magic then and now.

1974–I couldn’t get anybody to go to Des Moines to see them that June. My dad, actually, was up for the drive and camping (him staying in camp while I and the other Deadheads went to the afternoon outdoor show. He had a draft dissertation to read which he left somehow but we got it back). The key parts of this show (another Playing with a gnarly breakdown) were released officially as part of the Road Trips series honoring the Wall of Sound. That was a sight though I thought I’d seen a version of it inside in KC. Also a sight was Garcia’s chin and upper lip as he had reduced the beard to mutton chops for a very short while. The second set was where the meat of the show was culminating in the Playing. I experienced it at the time as meandering and anxious, without the tranquil spaciness of some of their explorations, but it’s just fine and part of the oeuvre as per repeated listening AND a much broader experience with their music.

1977–When Steal Your Face and then Blues for Allah came out, my enthusiasm was waning. To this day, I’m a pre-hiatus fan with a real focus on 71-74 when Kreutzmann was the only drummer. They were more lithe, exploratory, and dynamic. Still a good friend told me I was going back to Memorial Hall for a late 1977 show, so I got part of that magical year. And what stood out was 1977 slinkiness even though there wasn’t a Dancin’ in the Streets. But Lazy Lightning>Supplication, Samson and Delilah, and Passenger all caught my ear. It was fun, but I was not on the bus much.

The taping scene pulled me back in in the late 1980s, though I’d been intrigued by Lowell George of Little Feat producing Shakedown Street. I suppose in some ways I am a secondary Touch Head, though Without a Net too was welcome.

I was on the periphery of the Brent Mydland era and actually found Bruce Hornsby’s interlude a real boost to the creativity, particularly Garcia’s. That was spent really by 1994 and 1995. I went to both nights that they were in St. Louis on those summer tours. Still I was glad to see the break outs and covers (Here Comes Sunshine, Take Me to the River), but they were going through the motions, keeping Garcia in tow. It was fun, I'm glad, I'm went, they are memorable in a general sense, but I won't go play recordings. 1995 was the third and fourth shows from the end as they headed from here to Chicago. Within 5 weeks, Garcia was dead.

It was about the party or, ahem, the cultural experience. I'm glad I got that too with the originals (and subsequent Furthur Festival/The Other Ones/The Dead/Furthur/Dead and Company shows in big venues were as much about that as the music), but an advantage of the end of the big machine is that the shows got much smaller. The party was still there, but the music was closer. Also as I have aged, I've been willing to pay for better seats (to see Phil Lesh at Willie Nelson's Outlaw Festival this summer we even paid for premium parking. Sheesh.) so that helps put the music to the fore.

So has couch touring—and that is how my concert gang and I saw the first night of Fare The Well—GD 50 from Levi Stadium in the Bay Area as well as the Friday and Sunday from Chicago. We also saw a Phil Lesh Quintet reunion. Being in real time, I count those as shows which indicates that experiencing the music live is what counts for me.

The GD Meet Up at the Movies don’t, but they do remind me that I like to be in the presence of those songs and their creators. And that has pulled me along so far to shows that have included at least Phil Lesh and/or Bob Weir. I actually am a fan of Drums/Space and stay in my seat to watch the spontaneous magic happen, so having Kreutzmann and Mickey Hart along for The Other Ones, The Dead, and Dead and Company is just fine. But those operations felt a little bloated. They have to be in large spaces to accommodate the party, so the gestures are equally grand and the rituals are observed. Furthur (Lesh and Weir’s operation) was a bit more nimble—one drummer, Joe Russo, and more flexible set lists. But I saw them in a small arena (12 K) and The Fox Theater (almost 5 K), so those were big concert experiences.

Bob Weir is an indefatigable road warrior, sometimes when he shouldn’t. St. Louis was an early stop of a Fall 2004 tour that was aborted. But we got to see him and it was awfully good, one I return to. It jammed into Jack Straw into the opening of a Terrapin that would be concluded in the second set and the rest of the suite in the encore into Dark Star (my first since 1972 and the only one of two more I saw in person, both from Ratdog) that concluded at the end of the set before back into Jack Straw. The second set had Peggy O, The Winners, and Friend of the Devil for a can’t be beat acoustic interlude before firing up The Other One and Uncle John’s Band (its reprise after Terrapin proper closed the second set. With the exception of Playin’, he rehearsed all the big tunes and was energetic and in good voice. That one was a treat.

Ratdog was always fun, a solid band and a showcase for Weir’s quirkinesses which help make the GD experience. I like many of his songs more than Garcia’s, excuse the heresy, but I confess that I probably haven’t given up being angry at him not just for being dead but for dying, for giving up which probably started in the 1980s.

Ratdog shows were chances to hear the songs and Weir’s take on them, including Garcia’s at the heart of the canon were always good to hear. He brought most things into circulation. The bands were not the all star configurations that Lesh’s were, but they were effective. St. Louis shows reflected his connection with Johnny Johnson (a 2003 The Dead Show had Johnson and Willie Nelson jam on Little Red Rooster (overplayed over the years, but the way to do a 12 bar blues) and Lovelight that was historic). After Johnson’s death, it was his horn section sitting in, usually for one of the big jam tunes. A Dark Star stands out, but there must have been a Sailor>Saint or Eyes another year.

But it is Lesh who is the curator of the part of the universe that matters to me—the invention, the opportunity that any tune can unfold into a world of possibility. That was most clear with the Q—John Molo, Warren Haynes, Jimmy Herring, and Rob Barracco whom I got to see in their prime three times. They played the big barn with Weir’s Ratdog to open in July 2001, with a Weir sit in to open set one. The feature of that one was a Viola Lee Blues sandwich that wove out of that primal jam vehicle from the GD past four times with interludes of Lovelight, Tons of Steel, and Into the Mystic. Lesh would pull out tunes that had fallen out of the rotation—Alligator and Doin’ That Rag that night, Caution with Furthur at the Fox, Cosmic Charlie with the Q that November, and Viola itself. The Q revival Couch Tour show we saw had a Mountains of the Moon which suggested a potential (not developed) for that tune as a subtle jam vehicle just as it was the last night of Fare The Well. They did Beatles tunes, Brent Tunes, Van Morrison. The second show at the Fox for some reason doesn’t leap out as magical. But the third one, also at the Fox, on what would have been Garcia’s 60th birthday was. The first hour was Bird Song>Here Comes Sunshine>Not Fade Away and had me riveted. The second set had Sunshine of Your Love and a transcendent Low Spark of High Heeled Boys with Haynes somehow capturing the piano parts on guitar.

My only quasi bit of touring was to run over to Indianapolis to see Lesh in a hybrid band of Molo and Barraco with Larry Campbell, Barry Sless on pedal steel, Greg Osby on alto, and Joan Osborne on vocals. It was a hot hot day but good adventurous stuff. The Peggy O as a story with Lesh narrating, Osborne being the fair maid, Campbell as our captain was very cool. Bertha, Viola, and Shakedown stretched things out too.

With the Molo/Larry Campbell/Jackie Greene/Steve Molitz band, I got to see the premiere of the Ritter Eyes of Horus bass. A dark stage, the fretboard LED lights on, a solo into The Other One and then Truckin' made quite an impression. It didn't have the heft/power of the Modulus instruments he used before and after (a possibly smaller one) and it was more striking then pretty, but it was a moment of GD lore that happened on my watch. Those were two good shows with Campbell showing a range I hadn't expected. He could dig into the jams whereas I thought he would be more of a Robbie Robertson fills and one chorus solos player. It was also fun to watch Greene grow. It was like he went to grad school or maybe a post doc in that band.

I have seen Greene at least 5 subsequent times (Duck Room, Old Rock House twice (band and "acoustic," Delmar Hall, and as an opener for Gov't Mule). He has tasty covers including but not exclusively GD ones and some damn good tunes. It's good to see his efforts to extend the GD universe.

But I'm putting my money on Joe Russo's Almost Dead as where the legacy will reside.

I saw them earlier in the year and they strike me as not just a Dead cover band, but a PLQ cover band--anything can be jammed out, the tunes can be played in any order in any part of the set. Russo is a dynamo of energy on drums and his alter ego Marco Benevento is an inventive player. It's cool to see the varied opportunities the music presents.

My shows this year with Weir (the Wolf Bros trio) and Lesh at Willie Nelson’s Outlaw Festival felt valedictory. Weir was an interesting disappointment in that his wonderfully idiosyncratic guitar was at the fore, but too often through a too thin toned D’Angelico Bedford guitar. He had that jangled tone in Ratdog but it went away during Fare The Well and beyond when he used Fender Stratocasters. His voice too was thinner. So, while I wanted to see him in the spare setting, I don’t need to do it again.

And, though I’m likely to succumb to peer pressure if Dead and Company comes to town, I don’t need that party.

So, I’m content to go out on the Phil and Friends set at the barn with Willie Nelson as my last time seeing an original member. There was Molo once again, Jason Crosby and Stu Allen from the Terrapin scene, and a new other guitarist Cris Jacobs. The set had Jack Straw, Brown Eyed Women, Sugaree, and a Cumberland Blues (a favorite) as the closer. Eyes was the jamming tune, but so was Help>Slip>Morning Dew. And what a Dew it was as Alison Krauss sang it as she did on To Lay Me Down. Amazing and what a rare moment in the Dead universe.

Dead music is magical and so it has been for me right to this end.

But long live JRAD too.

#Grateful Dead #Phil Lesh #Bob Weir #JRAD #Ratdog #2019

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sargenthouse · 5 years

Text

Interview with Dylan Carlson of Earth

Interview via Echoes & Dust From soundwaves to landscapes, the sonic experience conjured up by Earth is both a meditative and an immersive one. From having laid the root foundations of rock’s infamous exercise in extreme minimalism with the classic Earth 2: Special Low-Frequency Version, the Seattle-born earth-shakers have braced through the decades carrying a legacy of slow, heavy riffs and long, introspective song-structures with a strong emphasis on repetition. The band has kept their pace slow and steady whilst branching out into a multitude of directions, ranging from stoner rock on Pentastar: In the Style of Demons to the esoteric desert-rock musings on Primitive and Deadly. For the band’s first record in over five years, leading member Dylan Carlson has decided to strip things down for a back-to-basics, raw approach, working as a duo alongside drummer Adrienne Davies to harken back to Earth’s core sound. We caught up with Dylan ahead of his solo performance at Paris’ Sonic Protest Festival to ask about his upcoming record, as well as learn more about his approach to sound and music playing.

E&D: Last time you were scheduled to perform in Paris, you unfortunately had to cancel due to some serious medical emergency. How have you been, how is your health?

DC: I’m much better. It was a gallbladder infection, so I was put on a bunch of antibiotics and I did a bunch of tests to clear it up. I’m fine now.

E&D: Welcome back to France. I understand your mother speaks French, by the way. Is that right?

DC: Yeah, that’s true.

E&D: You grew up moving around many different places, including in Europe. Have you ever lived in France?

DC: No, we lived in Germany, but we visited a lot because my mum liked Paris. The first year, we lived in Ramstein, which is basically just an airbase. Then we lived in Augsburg, Bavaria for three years. It’s an hour away from Munich. I also lived another year in Wiesbaden, which is by Frankfurt. We used to travel a lot. We went to the United Kingdom a lot, too, because we had relatives in Scotland. This was in the Seventies. We came back to the States in 1980. I was in first grade, so this was between the age of six to eleven. We were in American schools though.

E&D: May 24 will mark the release date of the first Earth record in five years, Full Upon Her Burning Lips. Back in 2014, you stated that you had already had started sketching out three songs for the follow-up toPrimitive and Deadly. Have you kept these ideas for this new album or have they been used for your solo and side projects?

DC: They were kept. Generally, when I come up with stuff, it will be earmarked for whatever project it was originally meant for. We played a couple of the ones that ended up on the album a few times live. We played one of the two songs at Hellfest in 2014. Two other songs were developed from playing live and held over. We also did a live soundtrack in Gent for Belladonna of Sadness and we tweaked and kept one of the tracks we performed. The rest of the material was pretty much done a month before we went into the studio. So basically there had been three tracks that had been bouncing around for a while and the bulk of it was done really quickly right before the studio sessions. I came up with a lot of the arrangements in the studio, too.

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E&D: Since Primitive and Deadly, you’ve released three solo albums and a collaborative album with The Bug. Did you originally plan on taking this ‘hiatus’ in between Earth albums?

DC: When we did Primitive and Deadly, it was the end of our relationship with Southern Lord. We had just gotten new management with Cathy from Sargent House. I knew it would be a bit of a while before the next Earth album came about. Things had to settle down and we had to test the waters, see who was interested in us. I had this other material that I thought would be a good solo record. It also gave me a chance to work with Sargent House as a label. Cathy was our manager but we weren’t with the label up until that point. It gave us a chance to do a solo project and a chance to work with Emma Ruth Rundle. It just kind of happened, I guess. It seemed like a good time to do it.

E&D: Coming into writing and recording this record, did you have any initial ideas or a particular head-space that guided you?

DC: This album was actually a bit different, in that I’d usually have a super strong conceptual idea that precedes the record. The records started out concept-heavy, but now it seems like I write music faster than I come up with concepts! [laughs] The concepts reveal themselves in the music more than the concept guides the writing of the music. This record came really fast because we decided we were going to do it with the core of the band, which is me and Adrienne. I ended up playing bass on the record. It was time to show what Earth can do with its core elements, as we’ve had so many members and guests join us over the year. We had been doing a lot of playing and writing in our practise space, just the two of us, and when it came time to do the album I figured “Let’s just do that!”. I also felt like it was a chance for the drums to really shine on record. I think the drums have been a big part of the band live, but with all of the instrumentation and overdubs, the drums aren’t left with much space on record. The drums were typically the last in line on record. For this record, I wanted everything really upfront and present. We’ve also had records that were quite lush-sounding, but I wanted this one to be really dry and stripped.

E&D: Did going back to a two-piece formation require some time to get re-accustomed to?

DC: No, not really. We’ve been working together for so long now that we don’t really think about it. When we add people, I generally know right away whether someone is going to work or not. For the tour that we’re getting ready to do, I’ll be adding another guitarist called Tristan. We did an improv show right before I left Seattle. We interpreted some Miles Davis stuff and we just clicked right away. We met because he was my driver on my solo US tour, before I found out that he was in a band. I invited him to jam and do this join, and now he’s joined the band for the tour.

E&D: Do you approach working as a duo or trio differently from a strictly solo performance?

DC: I find playing with people more enjoyable, certainly, it’s more fun to explore with other people and see what happens. Playing solo is different in that it’s just you, there’s no real buffer. When you’re in a band it’s much easier to cover up mistakes and wing it I guess [laughs]. At the same time, it’s still enjoyable to just playing.

E&D: Part of what makes your shows with Earth so impressive is how “locked-in” you all are at these slow tempos. It’s as though the band followed its own organic pace, like synchronised “breathing”.

DC: Yeah, it’s not “tight” but it’s that weird kind of “loose but on’” thing. It’s not like a regimented prog thing [laughs]. I guess the best description for it, to me, is that it “flows”. You play and things just go right, everything just flows, you’re not getting in your way.

E&D: Is this something you work on with the musicians you add to your line-up or is it something that needs to naturally lock into place from the get-go?

DC: I pretty much know once we play together whether it’s going to work. They either “flow” or they don’t [laughs]. It either just works or it’s not happening. It’s not something you can force.

E&D: You mentioned that this record was written with a more open approach, without a conceptual backbone to guide the sound. Looking back on the end result, what do you “see” when listening to the record?

DC: I think the album titles that came out of it give a general idea. I wanted this album to be more “witchy”, so to speak, with magical plants and animals. I think that it has a very strong feminine energy involved with it. I feel like the music industry in general, and rock in particular, can be very unbalanced and hyper-masculine, and I think it’s reflected in society now, too. We’ve had this hyper-masculine society for so long now. If you hear a band like Metallica, there’s no hint of the feminine anywhere in their music, lyrically or conceptually. It’s this super-weird, “hyper-male bubble”. To me, music, in addition to being intellectual and emotional, is also sensual – especially rock and blues music. It’s from the hips as well! [laughs] I was trying to tap into that side of existence more on this record than on previous ones.

E&D: I was going to say that I did feel some hints of what you mentioned when I first heard Primitive and Deadly.

DC: Yeah, it definitely started with that record, and I feel like it’s reached fuller expression with this one.

E&D: When it came to prepping the recording sessions, what guided your decisions regarding the gear and sound you wanted for the album?

DC: I basically used what I use live. Sometimes it’s nice to have a million choices for overdubs and whatnot, but for this one I just stripped it down. It forces you to be more creative with the materials that you do choose. I just used the same gear as my live setup, which is pretty minimal. It was really exciting to get all of the variety of sounds from those, rather than looking to do overdubs with a collection of gear like on previous albums. This was how me and Randall Dunn would work. We’d have a plethora of things to choose from, whereas I wanted things to be stripped back this time. There were four or five pedals at the most, but I used them in different ways than I had previously done.

E&D: For many, myself included, your music has marked a turning point, a discovery of a new way of listening to music. Can you remember what first raised your awareness of this way of ‘processing’ music? What made you want to go down that path?

DC: I guess, musically, I would hear riffs from bands that I liked, and I’d want them to keep playing that riff. I was always wondering what would happen if you just stuck on that one riff. At the time I was heavily into metal, but I was also into King Crimson. Through the Velvet Underground, I learned about La Monte Young. It was just this idea of enjoying the repetition of stuff. I used to listen to my guitar droning and practice singing through it. I would learn how to hold a note. I had done a couple of other bands before that, and I didn’t really like them very much. As I said, it started with a conceptual thing. Drone is a technique that’s in a bunch of different music. Indian music is probably its highest form of development, but Blues has it too with open string root notes. Maybe it’s this atavistic Scottish thing about bagpipes since I have Scotch heritage, I don’t know.

E&D: Was this on your own or in a band?

DC: It was more on my own, I guess. After my second band broke up, I just went into what I call “woodshedding”, for a couple of years. I was practising and listening to a lot of music, and thinking about what I wanted to do next. That’s where the ideas coalesced, I guess.

E&D: Any overview of drone genre inevitably mentions two figurehead acts: Earth and Sunn O))). Having met the band and having worked with them in the past, have you had an opportunity to discuss your respective approaches about the genre, what “drone” means to you?

DC: Yeah, I’ve guested on their records, but other than that they’re doing their thing and I’m doing my thing. We’re both pursuing different aspects to me. From my perspective, I view myself as always serving the music. The riff needs to be worth repeating, it’s not just about repeating it. It needs to be something that grabs people. I’m constantly concerned about increasing the melodic content and the musicality of what I do. I’m also not as concerned with being the loudest or the slowest, which I feel can reduce the music. Back when I started, the bands wanted to be the fastest bands on earth. Whenever you play something ahead of the music, the music suffers. I just always consider myself a servant of the music and a servant of the song, first and foremost.

E&D: The new album features songs that are fairly short by Earth’s standards. Given that repetition plays an important part in your music, how do you determine the length of a particular song?

DC: I guess there’s a couple of things. There’s the feeling that you’ve said what you needed to say in that length of time. A lot of the time, our songs tend to grow in length live. I sometimes view shorter songs as snapshots of longer pieces. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, the physical means of reproduction limits you to a certain amount of time. People aren’t going to buy an eight-album set – you need to get it down to two LPs [laughs]. We need to consider how it’s going to fit on the vinyl.

E&D: Finishing off, can you name one of your favourite albums, movies and books?

DC: There are so many albums, it’s hard to pick just one [laughs]! I guess I’ll say Memphis Underground by Herbie Mann for the LP. Movie-wise, I’ll say Le Samouraï by Jean-Pierre Melville. Book-wise, Blood Moon by John Sedgwick.

Earth’s new album, Full Upon Her Burning Lips, is released on May 24 by Sargent House. Pre-order here…

#Earth #Dylan Carlson #Full Upon Her Burning Lips

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amylillian22 · 6 years

Text

Pretty Boy and Pretty Girl (Part 3) - Cody Christian Imagine

Requested by Anonymous: Can you do a imagine where the reader is doing an interview at the comiccon, and she's on the stage, and she's answering fans questions and Cody's among them (and she doesn't know bc he had told her before he wasn't be able to make it) and he asks her to marry him

Word Count: 2,474

Warnings: Nothing but fluff!

Author’s Note: This is the final chapter to the Pretty Boy series. Enjoy!

[My Teen Wolf Master List]

[Part 1] [Part 2]

2 Years Later

Y/N scanned the crowded room in front of her. She had been asked to attend a comic con in Nashville. She had done a couple of comic cons before and she enjoyed every minute of it. She loved meeting and interacting with her fans. She listened to every story told. She hugged every fan and even wiped the tears away for the few that cried because they were finally meeting her. She did the photo ops like a pro and didn't mind doing any poses if the fans requested one, and she made sure to personalize every single autograph.

That was her favorite part of the con. However, doing panels was a different story. She was always afraid what kind of questions fans would ask her, especially personal questions that didn't involve talking about her music career. Plus, she was always worried she would say the wrong thing or stuttered while trying to answer a question.

"Being on stage is completely different than being on this kind of stage," she answered a fan question. "When I'm on a comic con stage, I get extremely nervous," she chuckled. "But when I'm on stage to perform, I'm more at home. It's comfortable. I know what to do and I know what to expect. I have control. Here, you never know what you're going to get," she chuckled nervously. "But this is fun. I get to meet some of you guys at my booth and some of the questions you ask me are interesting," she laughed again.

"What is the weirdest question you've ever gotten from a fan?" The moderator asked.

Y/N paused for a second, trying to think of a good answer. "If I could be a sock, what kind would I be?" The crowd laughed with Y/N. "If you think about it, it's actually a good question. I mean there are so many different types of socks. Long, short, no show. Cotton. Colored. Striped. Cartoons, and the list goes on," the crowd laughed at her response.

"Alright, I think we got about 5 minutes left, which means we probably have time for one more question. Maybe, two," The moderator said as he looked at the next person standing in front of the microphone, waiting for their turn.

Backstage, Cody was watching the entire panel. He had arrived shortly after she had gotten on stage and he was going to surprise her when she got off stage. He knew she was going to be here and he told her a little white lie. He said he would wrap his movie the day after tomorrow, when actually he wrapped last night. He had planned it earlier this week when production told him he would finish a few days earlier than expected. Y/N had no clue he was waiting for her backstage with a bouquet of her favorite flowers.

"Hi," a tall girl said with a huge small. She wore a shirt of Y/N and her band members from a tour a couple of years ago. "My question is kind of personal, so it's okay if you don't want to answer it." Y/N hesitated before she nodded her head, motioning the fan to continue. "Could you tell us the story of when you first met Cody?"

Y/N smiled as her mind flashback to the moment Cody opened the door at Dylan's house. She giggled, causing all the fans to smile while waiting for her answer. What she didn't know was Cody had asked the sound guy for an extra microphone to go on stage and answer the question himself, surprising her and her fans.

"That's a very good question," she smiled. "I-"

"I think I should answer this question," Cody spoke to the microphone as he made his way up to the stage with the bouquet of flowers in one hand. The crowd went crazy, cheering, clapping, and screaming for Cody's presence.

Y/N's eyes were immediately filled with tears, touched by the sweet surprise. She got up as he stood in front of her. He gave her the flowers, which she greatly accepted before placing them on the table. They embraced each other in a tight hug. She buried her face at the crook of his neck, trying to fight the tears from falling. Cody chuckled as he ran his fingers through her hair.

She pulled back and cupped his cheeks. "What are you doing here?" She chuckled as the microphone picked up her voice and echoed through the speakers for everyone to hear. "You're supposed to be filming."

Cody chuckled. "I wrapped last night and flew in this morning to surprise you." The crowd aww-ed at their adorableness.

She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, which he happily returned. Normally they're not one to show PDA in public, but they hadn't seen each other in a month because of their busy schedules. She didn't care. She needed one simple kiss to hold her over until they got off the stage.

"Plus," Cody spoke clearly and directly to the mic in his hand. "I thought I'd tell my version of the story because my story is far less embarrassing than what actually happened," Cody chuckled.

Y/N's head rolled back as she laughed hard. She grabbed his hand and sat him in the empty chair next to hers. "I'm interested to hear your story."

"Well, our mutual friend set us up on a blind date. He knew I had a crush on her and he knew she had a crush on me. We had dinner at a five-star restaurant, where I swept her up feet and won her with my charm," Cody explained, keeping it short and straight to the point.

Once again the crowd aww-ed.

"As if!" She laughed. "Don't believe him. He's definitely making this story up to save his own ass."

"Come on, babe," Cody playfully whined. "Don't tell them the real story." She gave him her best puppy eye look that involved her bottom lip pouting. Cody groaned in defeat. "I can never say no to this face," he pointed to the crowd, who laughed. "Fine. Tell them."

Y/N cheered before she spoke. "I showed up to surprise my friend, some of you may know him, Dylan Sprayberry." The crowd went nuts when she said his name. "And when I rang the doorbell, I was expecting him to answer the door, except I got someone who was far too pretty, almost like an Abercrombie and Fitch model," she pointed at Cody, "and he just stood there with his eyes wide and his jaw to the floor. I kept talking to the guy, but he didn't hear me. He was frozen."

"I was in shock," Cody corrected her with blushing cheeks and trying to fight the shy smile on his lips, but failed miserably.

"It wasn't until I snapped my fingers in his face and called him 'Pretty Boy'. That pulled him out of his trace," she smiled as she playfully squeezed his cheeks with one hand, instantly making his lips look like a fish.

"You know this babe, I was completely mesmerized by you."

She chuckled. "I know. You had drool coming out from the corner of your mouth," she joked, earning laughs from him and the crowd.

"I think that's the perfect way to end the panel," the moderator laughed. "Thank you, Y/N for being here and thank you for surprising everyone Cody," he said as he shook their hands before the couple walked off the stage. "Guys, remember Y/N will be here the rest of the day and all day tomorrow. Be sure to stop by her booth sometime this weekend."

"I can't believe you're here!" Y/N squealed once they were backstage. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "This is definitely a nice surprise."

Cody pressed his forehead against hers. "Good, because I have one more surprise for you."

"What are you up to, Pretty Boy?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I made us dinner reservations tonight, Pretty Girl," he smiled.

"Sounds good," she smiled back at him.

"Can I get you anything else?" The waiter asked as he picked up the empty dessert plate.

"No, thank you," Y/N smiled at the waiter.

"Are you ready for the check?" He asked.

"Go ahead and charge me," Cody said as he pulled out his wallet and gave the waiter his card.

Y/N smiled at Cody. When the waiter left, she reached over for both his hands across the small table and held them. He was wearing a black button up shirt. His coat was hanging on the chair. His hair was styled with a little bit of gel, kind of giving him a sexy and slightly messy look. A look Y/N loved and one that always tempted her to run her fingers through it, but she always fought back to not ruin it.

Cody interlaced his fingers with hers and smiled at her. She wore the diamond studs he gave her for her birthday last year and around her neck was a diamond music pendent necklace he gave her last Christmas. Half of her hair was pulled back as the rest was down in beach wave curls. Her make-up was light and simple. She wore a black strapless dress that showed off all her curves. He took mental pictures of all her features. She was absolutely beautiful tonight and he wanted to remember this night for the rest of his life.

"Tonight was absolutely perfect, babe," Y/N's smile widened.

"The night is not exactly over yet," he smiled. Before she could ask what he was up to, the waiter returned with Cody's card, the receipts, and a blue pen. Cody quickly signed the receipt with a big tip for the waiter and grabbed his copy. He got up and walked around to pull out Y/N's chair. She got up and grabbed her small black clutch. She leaned up a little and kissed him. Cody had reserved the back room to themselves and there was no one around to worry about PDA.

She smiled in the middle of the kiss before pulling back. "I have no idea what you're up to or what tonight is about, but I love you, Pretty Boy."

"I love you too, Pretty Girl" he smiled as he grabbed his coat and wrapped it placed it on her shoulders. He grabbed her hand and led the way out. He gave the valet his number. They stayed in a comfortable silence as they waited for Cody's rental car.

As they drove off and made their way back to Y/N's hotel room, Simple Plan's "Perfectly Perfect" came up on the radio. A smile immediately plastered on both their faces as they remembered the first time they heard that song and danced to it in Cody's living room after he cooked her dinner. Cody lifted their linked hands and kissed the back of her hand before he sang the song to her. Y/N's heart was full. She couldn't imagine ever loving someone else, let alone as much as she loves him. She was perfectly happy with him.

The song ended the same time Cody pulled up to an empty parking lot. They made their way to the elevators and waited patiently for it to go up to her floor. Cody pulled out the spare room key from his wallet and opened the door. A trail of rose pedals started at her feet. She turned around to see Cody with a small smile and shrugged his shoulder as if he knew nothing about this. She followed the rose pedals until she reached her bedroom door in her suite. She twisted the knob and opened it. She gasped as she saw her room had been decorated. There were lit candles throughout the room and rose pedals around the bed and on the bed in the shape of a heart. A dozen of white roses stood on each nightstand by the bed.

Her heart was thundering against her chest as tears welled up in her eyes. Cody had done a lot of romantic gestures during their two-year relationship, but nothing compared to this grand. Suddenly, she knew what was about to happen. She's heard from her mom and her older sisters a girl knows when a man is going to propose to her. She had that feeling right now and that feeling was right.

She turned around to see Cody already kneeling down on one knee with a black box in his hands. He held up one of his hands, asking for hers. She chuckled as tears escaped from the corner of her eye and placed her left hand in his.

"Baby-"

"Yes!" She immediately said, earning a chuckle from Cody.

"You didn't even let me say anything," he chuckled some more as tears welled up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she chuckled as she carefully got down to her knees to meet him. She cupped his cheeks. "I'm sure you have this great speech-"

"I do," he smiled.

"And I know you have a very important question to ask me-"

"The most important one I'll ever ask-"

"But I want to tell you something first," she smiled.

"Okay," Cody chuckled.

"I love you, and I knew the second you opened Dyl's front door, I was going to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Funny," Cody chuckled again as more tears welled up in his eyes. "I was going to say the same thing."

"So, yes, Cody. Yes, since the first day I met you. Yes to every day since then. Yes today and yes to all the days ahead of us," she leaned in and kissed him.

Cody's arms snaked around her figure as he kissed her back with the same intensity and passion she had given him. There was nothing rough or heated about their kiss. It was sweet, gentle, loving, and absolutely pure bliss as they both cherished this moment that would forever change their lives. It was also a moment they would look back on several times as they spend their lives together.

They slowly pulled back, but rested their foreheads against each other's. Y/N swiped the tears from his cheeks. Cody's arms left her waist to opened the black box. Y/N gasped as she saw a beautiful princess diamond ring. He pulled the ring out of the box and grabbed her left hand. He slowly slid the ring on her wedding finger. Cody held her hand as they both admired the new jewelry on her wedding finger.

"It's absolutely beautiful," she whispered before she kissed him once more.

He pulled back and cupped her cheek. His thumb brushed her cheek as his eyes never once left hers. "I love you, Pretty Girl."

She smiled at him. "I love you, too, Pretty Boy."

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