#DONT PERCEIVE ME POSTING THIS AT 1 AM LMAO
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Lament AU Masterpost (I’m using that word wrong)
FIND OUT WHY IM YAPPING ALL THE TIME IN ONE SINGLE CLICK👇👇👇 AND YOU DONT HAVE TO READ 200,000 WORDS TO FIGURE IT OUT 🙏🙏🙏 (but if you do I’d sacrifice myself for you if needed)
ALSO I MADE CHANGES TO THE STORY (nobody gaf)
ALSO I ADDED THE POST-EPILOGUE ENDING OF AJL😈😈😈 kind of. Because it’s up to you as the reader if you want the remainder of the Lament AU to be canon to the story you read in A Jester’s Lament, despite AJL being the Lament AU (nobody gaf) (I’ll explain it in the post)
THIS POST WILL INEVITABLY BE EDITED‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️I AM OFF MY MEDICATION‼️‼️‼️
What is the Lament AU and why do you post so much about it?
Idk
No really
Okay wise guy, since you’re so insistent
The Lament AU is basically another Dimentio gets redeemed story. It started off in the form of an ao3 fanfic called A Jester’s Lament (AJL) that SOMEHOW gained so much love that I am still tweaking about it to this day. No seriously I owe my life to all of you. Im not joking. Email me for business inquires (sacrificial rituals). First come first serve btw
HOWEVER. While AJL is very VERY important to me and I’ll cherish it for all of time, it is a taaaaad bit outdated. While the fanfic itself is not changing, the story I established in AJL does have some minor adjustments now. Basically, think of AJL like a first edition of the Lament AU and this tumblr post is the second edition of the Lament AU LMAO
I’ll list specific changes for those who are interested (no one), but after that, I’ll give a summary of the Lament AU for those who don’t wanna read a 41 chapter Mario fanfic.
SPOILERS AHEAD FOR A JESTER’S LAMENT!
What Changed in the Lament AU since AJL:
1. Dimentio’s Initial Betrayal/Count Bleck’s Plan
Having conspired the plan before he was integrated into Team Bleck, Dimentio planned on betraying them all so he could use the entirety of the Dark Prognosticus + Chaos Heart’s magic for himself so he could create his own perfect world with the utmost power and magic available. However, as he befriended the others, this plan would change. Dimentio decided to not only spare Mimi and O’Chunks, but create their own worlds as well and risk the grandeur of his own world (this is not some kind of heroic sacrifice, trust me). AJL states that Count Bleck had lied to the minions and was never planning on giving them their new worlds. This is no longer canon. In the current Lament AU, Count Bleck was going to give them their worlds as he had promised (although, he planned to commit suicide by letting the Void take him, something no one knew). Despite his seemingly decent relationship with Count Bleck and Nastasia, Dimentio never planned on sparing them. While this is true in AJL, his motivations are different. In AJL, he did not plan on sparing Bleck and Nastasia for he believed them to be a traitors (he was aware of Bleck’s real plan and Nastasia’s knowledge of it). This motivation is no longer canon. In the current Lament AU, Dimentio, in his cruel greed, still desired the extra magic to create his perfect new world. He knew that if he spared the Count (and ultimately Nastasia, since her ideal world was to be WITH the Count wherever he went), his original blueprint for his horrifying utopia would be ruined.
AJL also states that Dimentio decided to spare Count Bleck and Tippi because they reminded him of his parents. This is no longer canon. In the current Lament AU, Dimentio brought the pair to Dimension D to murder Bleck himself as revenge for what Dimentio perceived to be pathetic cowardice from forfeiting the plan to end all worlds (and murder Timpani as further revenge upon Bleck). Why he brought Nastasia, that is now as vague as it was in the game.
2. Jaydes’ Judgement
Jaydes commanded Dimentio to be brought back/to return to the Underwhere in order for balance to be restored to the system of Life and Death, which King Boo had disrupted when he had revived Dimentio. She gave Dimentio an ultimatum: Return now and live a neutral afterlife (the best he could get) in the Underwhere, or remain on the mortal plane, and be forever condemned to his cell in Bonechill’s Prison as a result. Dimentio would not return, and remain with the others in order to try to fix the harm he had caused. In AJL, this rule/curse was lifted after the Pure Hearts revived Dimentio after the explosion because, “She [Jaydes] claimed along the lines of the Pure Hearts never healing evil, which erased the gray line that made Dimentio undeserving of both his cell and the Overthere, and, in turn, apparently making her feel more guilty about her pronounced curse.” This is no longer canon. Not only is Dimentio never seeing the Overthere, but they never find out if Jaydes changed her mind. As far as they know, after the events of the war, Dimentio is still damned to his cell for all eternity when he dies as punishment for disobeying Jaydes, a belief that would continue for the rest of their lives.
ERMMM WHAT THE FISH!! I think that’s it for plot changes. If I think of anymore of course I’ll add it :3
NOW. Here’s what that fucking thing is all about.
Lament AU’s Story (summarized version) (SPOILERS FOR AJL) (OBVIOUSLY):
King Boo is pretty sick of Luigi’s shit. He wants this guy DEAD. One day, he hears of some gay guy that came pretty damn close to prevailing against Mario and Co., so he travels to Bonechill’s Prison and gets this gay guy to agree to join him. Using his Dead Ghost King Powers, King Boo revives Dimentio’s soul and grants him a new physical body as a result. This resurrection spell has some setbacks, though. For one, it takes many months to fully complete. Until then, the revived soul must rely on Life Magic (same shit from a Life Shroom basically) given from the reviver in order to stay alive. This means that until the spell is complete and Dimentio can survive without King Boo’s life support, any kind of spell that Dimentio casts will ultimately drain his Life Magic fuel because that is all the magic he has in his body at ALL (it is automatically taken upon entry to the Underwhere). Basically, Dimentio is more dangerous than he was in the games for he is no longer holding himself back in battle, buuuuut… sometimes he will pass out and King Boo has to perform CPR mid-fight. Ridiculousness ensues.
ANYWAYS, Dimentio’s deal with King Boo is that he kills Luigi, and King Boo will craft Dimentio his perfect new world (albeit maybe not precisely how Dimentio planned) using a hybrid spell. The rest of it is typical Luigi and Co. VS Dimentio and King Boo (oh yeah, Steward too). But Dimentio is having EMOTIONAL ISSUES. Ohhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Long story short, he is in complete denial that his new world is practically worthless without his friends. He is also forced to partner up with Luigi when the two accidentally end up in the Pit of 100 Trials. We also get some backstory (TLDR: Dimentio actually had an overall healthy and loving family growing up, but those who attempted to kill him and killed his mother sent him to wander dimensions forever, and he could not return home due to memory loss that lasted for a few thousand years. Skill issue LMAO get ratioed dumb fuck).
Anyways, that time in the Pit of 100 Trials planted a seed of “hey, this guy kinda has some swagger” in both Dimentio and Luigi. But it is only through more battles and through Luigi and Co. nursing Dimentio back to health (after Luigi tried to kill him with the Thunderhand LMAO get fucked gayass clown) that this seed grows. Eventually, Dimentio spares Luigi in a fight, and King Boo finds out about this. He’s like “man this guy SUCKS!!!” He drains Dimentio’s life magic, kills him, and puts his soul under mind control like he (King Boo) did with the ghosts in LM3. This is where Jinxed Dimentio comes from. Controlled by King Boo, Dimentio kills Steward and Luigi, who is revived by a Life Shroom. Luigi has a EUREKA 💡moment and uses another Life Shroom to try to revive Dimentio, which actually works.
Now Dimentio is kind of in a pickle 🤓☝️ The Life Shroom made it to where Dimentio was free from King Boo’s terms and conditions, meaning King Boo can’t go around taking his Life Magic away anymore. HOWEVER, the initial revival spell is not complete, so every spell Dimentio casts will still drain his Life Magic and kill him if he isn’t careful. In fact, the only Life Magic he has left comes from the Life Shroom, so for a while he can’t cast spells at ALL.
But anyways. Dimentio is now on the good side blah blah blah working to make amends whatever. But Queen Jaydes is like “HEY Luigi. Come here rq 🙏 since uh. You didn’t kill this guy and now he’s on your side. Uh. I gotta tell you he’s fucking shit up. Like the balance of life and death has been disrupted since he’s alive when he’s supposed to be six feet under. So bring him to me okay okay stop crying and pissing yourself. Tell Dimentio to return to the Underwhere. If he does uhhh. He can have a neutral afterlife with the Shaydees and not get punished. But if he doesn’t come back, he’ll return to his cell for all eternity.” Dimentio decides to stay despite this threat to try to right his wrongs and end the war he helped start.
Anyways Dimentio ends up using some of his Life Magic to put his sister (Shadoo) out of her misery, which leaves him weak as hell for the Final Battle which happens like 5 seconds later. Mf is practically on a ventilator and being rolled around on a hospital cot for the entire damn fight. That is, until he remembers he casted a Permanent Spell a while back to make his bed he had in King Boo’s fortress float off the ground (okay princess), so he absorbs that magic and is now balling (kinda). He uses a clone to trick and lead his friends away from the fortress, then confronts King Boo and uses a box-explosion so powerful it breaks the box and kills Dimentio in the process. The others find out, gooogoo gaga, womp womp. King Boo is somehow still alive. He’s about to kill everyone when some my little pony shit happens and the Pure Hearts return, imprisoning King Boo who fucking knows where and resurrecting Dimentio and, thus, finally fully completing the revival spell.
Blah blah blah happy ending, Dimentio knows he still has a long way to go to make amends, he works as a babysitter for the Koopalings now, he lives in Flopside, everyone goes on a fun and goofy Odyssey trip, yeah he’s going to hell for disobeying the goddess of death and judgement but let’s try not to think about that,
THE END
So.. erm… what happens after?
I’m so glad you definitely asked that question
So like I said- while AJL IS the Lament AU, it can also be considered its own “version” of the Lament AU because it is a fanfic with a clear ending- that being the Odyssey trip. Anything that happens after has been left up to reader interpretation for a while now. Because of this- it is completely up to you if you want the rest of the Lament AU to be canon to the A Jester’s Lament fanfic or not. Even though it’s the same AU blah blah blah blah blah. You want AJL-Lament AU Dimentio to live a very long peaceful happy time? HIP HIP HOORAY!! :D But. Lament AU Dimentio. Uh.
So
For a few years uh. Nothing. AJL ends on the Odyssey trip, and life continues as normal (+ expensive therapy) with our main protagonists becoming closer friends.
HOWEVER. Yk how Dimentio is like “Who knows? Maybe I have a few more centuries of life yet” at the end of the fic? (LOUD INCORRECT FAMILY FEUD BUZZER). Lament AU/AJL Dimentio only lives for about six more years post-war.
But user dappledpaintbrush, why? Why would you make him go through allat just to die six fucking years later? Seems overkill
Silence, young grasshopper
Okay I’m only kidding but like. Man. Come on. No matter how many good deeds I make this bastard do, no matter how many times I let him get bitch slapped around by the Consequences of His Own Actions (trademark pending), there is no expunging this unholy track record:
Also because. Get it. Six years is. How long he was away from his friends in the Underwhere/with King Boo. Get it. Pretend I’m a good writer with good parallels
But before he died, Dimentio ultimately decided that when he DID die, he was going to drown his soul in the River Twigz. Not because he was damned to his cell, but because he believed he had lived long enough to know he didn’t want to live forever, regardless of what his aftergame looked like. He told the others about this, and Luigi asked him if he [Dimentio] could wait to see him [Luigi] again first. This was asked under the assumption that Dimentio would die centuries after everyone else, and that there would be no “wait time” to see Luigi and the others again and thus, no risk of getting caught by Jaydes and sent to Bonechill’s Prison before Dimentio had the chance to end his aftergame. But yeah then Dimentio kicks the bucket from Ancient Death (basically: DAMN! YOURE WAYY TOO OLD LMAOOO. DIE INSTANTLY!). HOWEVERRRR, Dimentio said fuck it we ball and asked Jaydes if his punishment could be postponed so he could fulfill his promise to Luigi. This is when we finally get a resolution to the judgement subplot- she changes her mind about punishing him WOOHOO🔥🔥🔥
Also the gang visits him sometimes. rarely. almost never. because Jaydes is like listen ik yall are the heroes of all realities but yall can’t just Do That. Mostly they’re like BITCH KING BOO IS AT IT AGAIN😐😐 and Dimentio starts tweaking from the great beyond
But yeah uh. Dimentio still ends his aftergame when all is said and done. Sorry guys I just don’t see him willingly living forever. I think that desire died with his perfect world. Also I feel like it’s the final ultimate part of his redemption because he tried to eliminate every living thing from existence as well. Aldus enters the Underwhere (where he is now visible due to what is essentially Jaydes’ firewall) and ends his aftergame alongside his son, too. Father son bonding can I get an amen. Also, Merlova canonically died-died in the battle against the Skellobits. So yeah. The Dimentio lineage is completely eliminated by the ultimate end of the Lament AU. Thank GOD
I think that’s it. Idk how to end this
Thank you for reading this if you did at all :3 sincerely, yappledpaintbrush
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if toshiro is older than hinamori like the rumours in japan are saying, this not only gives a new light to his character, but also aging in general in the soul society. i already thought this before but there is like no way in hell that people in the seretei age at the same rate that people in the human realm do, and even then there is no concrete formula.
spoilers for TYBW and long post about beach in general, a bit of hitsuhina at the end
like we know hisana died 50 years before the soul society arc, so rukia would have been abandoned at the very least 6 years before that (she and byakuya had only been married for 5 years and i’m giving them at least 1 year before marriage lol) who knows how much more time had passed between rukia's abandonment and when hisana died! she also said she was at least 10x ichigo’s age meaning 150ish.
yamamoto is ancient, and w the TYBW we are able to see flashbacks of the original 13 court guard squad captains from 1000 years ago. sometime before then, sasakibe had learned his bankai to be able to become yamamoto's right hand man. all the while, shunsui and ukitake were little kids ^_^ (despite the harshness of the recent ep, bb shunsui was cute lmao)
i also don’t remember when kenpachi found yachiru, but her childlike state had to have been like that for centuries. also yeah i know about [redacted] but it seems that aging in the souls society is dependant on age of death/birth in the soul society, spiritual pressure/growth of power, and emotional/psychological barriers. like i’m sure there are children who enter the soul society as children and stay children forever, perhaps only aging if they happen to have strong spiritual energy for becoming soul reapers.
there is also a point of interest when toshiro reaches his mature form. i forget the exact wording, but basically in order to access greater power he ages physically to an adult. at the time it really struck me that possibly, you physically mature based on your spiritual abilities. toshiro has been noted to have a zanpakto that is essentially a god, and up until sasakibe’s bankai reveal, he was thought to be the only one who could control the weather. in his current state, his bankai is incomplete. it makes me think of moments from his earlier chapters in the manga when he has those dreams of hyorinmaru calling to him and his original denial of his own power. momo has already gone to the academy and toshiro wants to remain the way he is. i am also wondering if part of his age stunting has to do with his emotional barriers? it’s a bit hard to get into all the details of this, but it seems as though he was afraid of changing (afraid of who he would become with his power; afraid of momo treating him differently; etc etc) but because your spiritual energy is literally apart of you, at some point his power became unavoidable and uncontrollable (weakening grandma!!) due to having zero training. anyway it is definitely super interesting to think about toshiros psychological/emotional barriers and how that directly relates to his physical maturity. there’s also the extra barrier about his awareness of all these things knowing that he has the potential to grow and become more powerful, but not being able to at the same time. i’m also willing to bet that once he stops holding himself back, he will probably be as strong as yamamoto! i like to think that the page we got w toshiro and momo looking up and seeing him during TYBW is her seeing him for the first time, like really seeing and understanding who he is. unfortunately i dont think toshiro likes himself when his body + powers are more developed and i think it really does have to do with how others (esp hinamori) perceive him. he already has a cold attitude and wondering if he doesn’t want to be seen as super intimidating, scary, ruthless, etc etc. i think staying young is a way of avoiding responsibility and growth, i am think of how nell became a child because she didn’t want to fight and even lost her memories. anyway, i’m hoping that post-war after at least 10 years of peace they will have grown together a bit more. it’s also very fun to imagine toshiro and momo being relatively the same as kids and her growing taller and making fun of his height. like she KNOWS this guy is older than her, and she still can’t help teasing him even when he’s the captain w a fearsome bankai lol! anyway the age thing doesn’t really change much about how i see them, i’ve been a hitsuhina 4 lifer since i first watched bleach as a kid lol it just adds such an interesting piece to the bleach universe about power, aging, and extra insight on some character development/growth!!
#bleach#hituhina#tybw spoilers#toshiro hitsugaya#hinamori momo#toshiro#momo#what do other folks think i’m just rambling atp…👉🏼👈🏼
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1, 22, 29 :) ?
thank u dear ❤️
1. the last sentence you wrote
Marcus always makes him feel like this; out of control.
(from the callum/marcus wip--still very early on might tweak or delete in final version whos to say~)
22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?
I do! When i first started writing hetfic i had so so much anxiety abt how it would be perceived. It's not everyone's cup of tea and that's fine, but there's all sorts of opinions on the "acceptable" ways or reasons to write girlfic. overall its been a part of a more overarching life goal of trying to care less of what strangers think of me, that if you're gonna jump to negative assumptions about me because i write girlfic/hetfic then i wouldn't wanna know you anyway?
i ALSO think that actually posting hetfic and getting a positive response was a big help to all these worries! my m/m fics do get more hits/kudos but that's ok~ writing only for what other people want isn't healthy and i'm gonna keep writing hetfic if thats what my lil heart desires!! and it helps knowing i do have an audience who wants to read the m/f stuff i write 💖💖
29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?
I usually take so long to finish fics that I have plenty of time to come up with a title, summary, etc. The only outlier to this is ninety-two thousandths, which had a crazy short turnaround from started to published. I still don't hate the title, it's just nothing special. I also find that for pwp fics I care less abt having a special title? I just give it way less thought because we all know we're all here for the porn anyway lmao.
the only one i remember struggling w/ is acosi but that took me literally 8-9 months so i had time. i do have this fun lil note from my private writing discord where i always write shit down so i dont forget it, so having that memento is cute
right now i am struggling to title the lesbian!gax fic, but knowing me i have so much time to think about it 😂😂
#ask#thank u for ur patience ily!!!!!#i always have to much to say. the desire to yap never escapes me#crozierahegao#ask game#she writes
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recently I've been thinking about how like, it's pretty hard to describe my sexual orientation and gender
(long ruminating post under the cut lol)
gender wise I either feel neutral or masculine, so I feel like demiboy fits, but im also afab so i identify with being transmasc too
in terms of attraction, i have a LOT of platonic love for my friends, i love them so much. platonic love comes as naturally as breathing to me, i want to bond and know all of my friends deeply, i want to form strong attachments and feel really close to people even though its really hard to do that sometimes. but, that platonic love rarely ever becomes romantic love. doesn't matter how much I know someone, romantic feelings just don't happen often for me. sexual feelings are even rarer, AND i have to know someone really well first before sexual feelings can even happen. developing a romantic attraction also doesn't guarantee a sexual attraction will develop, it just has to happen first for there to even be a chance it will. its like a chance game on neopets, you have to win the first 1/1,000,000 chance roll for romance to even have a shot at the second 1/1,000,000 chance roll for sex lmao.
when romantic and sexual feelings for someone do happen though, gender isn't a determining factor. my love for every person ive ever loved has felt different but not because of their gender(s). so that means: demiromantic, demisexual, and pansexual
but how do you tell someone - especially irl - you're transmasc, demiboy, demiromantic, demisexual and pansexual, i mean that's so many words and im already really bad at talking to people, its easier to just say im queer, but im also really careful not to apply that label to other people unless i know they're ok with it, especially since i live in the south us
(and dont get me started on trying to explain and be included in conversations about experiencing life as a woman, since i didn't transition until i was in my mid 20s, so being seen and treated as a woman has been most of my life. like, i want to talk about how its been for me as a fem person whose entire career has been in tech and how that has affected me and affects fem people in such negative ways, but if it were up to me i wouldn't even be perceived as a fem person. but, i still am because i don't pass and can't come out at work, so that's still my experience interacting with everyone who doesn't know me personally outside work. i usually try to speak up in conversations about this anyway even though sometimes i don't feel welcome being part of the conversation bc of how i identify now.)
idk. it makes me feel really, really lucky that im married and my spouse and I have such a close and loving relationship and they understand me so intimately. i almost lost them to cancer a few years ago. i don't like to think about this at all, but i know 100% that if i lost them i would just be alone for the rest of my life.
#big thoughts#big feelings#casper talkin#writing all this out was therapeutic for me#this isn't really a vent i dont think but ill tag it as one just in case#casper venting
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Kazuichi, Byakuya, Gundham, Rantaro, Gonta, Leon, and Toko with an ultimate Broadway actress s/o
Desc; headcanons of kazuichi, byakuya, gundham, rantaro, gonta, leon, toko with an ultimate broadway actress s/o
Warnings; i tried to make this spoiler free, fem!reader, reader uses female pronouns, i guess this takes place at hope’s peak academy? pre-tragedy?? i dont really know about the v3 boys, haven’t finished the game lmao-
Gundham:
◊ He already knows a bunch about Musicals; especially the darker ones.
◊ He thinks your Ultimate is amazing, he loves all your plays.
◊ Neither of you know which between the two of you is more dramatic.
◊ Your dramatic personalities often intertwined, merging the two of you and making you both into one huge drama queen.
◊ It gives everyone a headache as you both scream, “My toe hurts!-” “My king’s toe hurts! Someone bring an ambulance, stat!”
◊ “Someone get the fucking chlorofoam-” “Hiyoko no-”
◊ This is a bad example, but you get my point-
◊ He enjoys Shakespeare and dark love story plays/musicals.
◊ So he would definitely enjoy acting one with you on stage, if you let him.
◊ He’ll somehow incorporate his Dark Devas into the play just for an excuse to bring them with him on-stage.
◊ Once he was playing Romeo and abandoned Juliet to save Cham-P after he ran offstage to eat a sunflower seed someone dropped on the floor.
◊ Fuck Juliet, mans knows his priorities.
◊ He’s kind of a musical theatre nerd, he enjoys discussing the message behind musicals you’ve played.
◊ Throwing in some compliments about how well you perceived the character, and how pretty you looked.
◊ He is always extremely proud and amazed at your ability to sing, dance and act so well all at the same time.
◊ He believes you don’t get enough credit for doing what you do, so he makes sure you know how proud he is of you.
◊ He sometimes quotes Shakespeare or some other dark musical while you two hung out, it was kinda cute seeing him geek out like that.
◊ “As said in ‘The Merry Wives of Windsor’, Better three hours too soon than a minute too late." Gundham quoted, pride laced in his words as he was proud of remembering that. “Gundham... it’s literally 5 am in the morning, the party starts at 12 pm. Go back to sleep.” Gundham blinks and nearly falls asleep where he stood. “Mmkay.”
◊ If he saw you dress up as the witch in Wicked, he would be whipped.
◊ His evil queen? In an evil costume? A dream come true!
◊ He thinks you look absolutely fabulous and praises you a bunch after the show, telling you how pretty you looked while you acted.
Kazuichi
◊ He wouldn’t know much about musical theatre, since he’s more into machines.
◊ But when you told him to come to a play you were going to star in, he jumped at the offer.
◊ 90 minutes of you? He must be the luckiest guy in the world!(Nagito would be proud)
◊ After watching his first play, he decides he is obsessed with musical theatre now, going to all your shows.
◊ He loves all the romance based musicals, he’s a sucker for romance what can he say?
◊ He’d obsess over all your plays, going into a lot of detail about his favourtite parts.
◊ He’s kinda like, your #1 fan.
◊ He has posters of musicals you’ve starred posted around his dorm room, just a bunch of merch of you and all the musicals you starred in.
◊ When you tell him he has a backstage pass because he’s your boyfriend, he is overjoyed.
◊ He actually trained a bit to be one of the backstage crew members.
◊ He learned how to fix your make up during intermissions, fix a loose stitch on your costume, all that good stuff.
◊ Though every time he sees your face up close for make up, he goes speechless.
◊ He wonders every time, how the hell did he get someone like you?
◊ Though his hands are shaking from how nervous he was, he still managed to make you look absolutely amazing.
◊ He’d blast a bunch of musical soundtracks while he works on his machines, screwing on and unscrewing things with a bop.
◊ I can imagine Kazuichi jamming with you in the car. The car moving violently as you two bounced to the rhythm like mad men.
◊ I think he’d get pretty insecure if he saw you with a love interest, he would think that when you two shared a staged kiss or scene, that it was actually full of love and not fake
◊ But when you cheer him up and tell him how much you love him, he realizes he was being silly over nothing.
◊ After watching many many romance musicals, you notice he gets more romantic; most likely mimicking the love interests.
◊ He is still a bit insecure, but if he does more romantic things, you’ll love him right?
◊ You enjoy the silly grand gestures of love, but you try and assure him constantly that you don’t need any of it.
◊ You only need him <3
Rantaro:
◊ w o a h
◊ He’d love the fact that you’re an actress
◊ He thinks it’s so cool like-
◊ constant fanboying after shows
�� He’s always bringing you flowers once you’re off the stage, showering you with praises and affections
◊ He’s literally so proud of you wtf??
◊ i think he’d be the type to show you off a lot
◊ “Hey you!” He points at a naked passerby(this is an inside joke, i am so sorry), “Guess what? My girlfriend’s a Broadway actress!” “Rantaro stop, people are staring-” “Are they? hEY YOU! YEAH, YOU STARING!! MY GIR-”
◊ if you ever started spitting out hamilton raps, he’d be the one beatboxing in the back ground for you.
◊ “Pshh, packow, psshh psshh, packow!” “How does a bastard, orphan, son of a-”
◊ you two would jam out to musical soundtracks in your dorm, dancing dramatically as you did.
◊ you two kinda become like a duo of musical theatre kids.
◊ if you stood on a table and started belting lyrics, he would hop on and join you
◊ unless it was a solo, he would never steal your thunder.
◊ if you ever felt a bit nervous before a big show, he would assure you that’d you’d do great and tell you how much he believed in you until you felt better.
◊ he’s your charger before and after a big show.
◊ if you felt exhausted from acting and dancing around the stage, he’s always there to give you what you need most.
◊ whether it’s water, food, flowers, or just him and his cuddles, he always has it ready for you.
◊ the most recent musical soundtrack that you’ve played will be stuck in his head.
◊ For example, if you recently played in Hairspray, ‘Mama, I’m a big girl now!’ will be stuck in his head until the next play he watches.
◊ you’d catch him humming it during everything he does,
◊ and it’s actually so fricking adorable.
◊ if you heard him sing a familiar tune, you would hum along with him.
◊ “Hmm, mmwhen I was, just a kid ♪”
◊ Your ears perked up at the familiar tune, slowly you turned around to face him.
◊ “♪....You never let me do just what the older kids did…♪” You joined in quietly, Rantaro whipped his head towards you, a rising smile on his face.
◊ “♪ But lose that laundry list of what you won't allow ♪,” His voice rose slowly in excitement, pointing at you with a big grin across his face.
◊ And at the same time, you both sang obnoxiously loud, as if it was rehearsed, “♪ 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl now! ♪” Running to each other with excitement,
◊ You let out a fit of giggles as Rantaro picked you up, “MY WIFE, PLEASE BE MY WIFE!”
◊ This is how you two met and you can’t tell me otherwise-
Gonta:
◊ Gonta wouldn’t know much about Broadway musicals- which to you, a broadway actress, was unacceptable!
◊ so you made it your mission to get him to watch as many musicals as he possibly can.
◊ You’d tell him to come to all your plays, him excitedly agreeing despite not knowing what a play is.
◊ You’d do extra good knowing that Gonta was in the crowd watching you, wanting to give him the best first experience with musicals.
◊ He’d applaud at the end of every scene, trying to show his support the best he can.
◊ for his first play he watches, he ends up clapping a bit too early.
◊ he cheered and applauded super loud when he saw you on stage, but stopped when he realized everyone was staring at him.
◊ Though it was a bit embarrassing for both you and him, you felt your heart flutter at how his first instinct was to clap for you when you walked in stage.
◊ You’d introduce him to various musicals, beauty and the beast being his favourite.
◊ He definitely starts to obsess over the more ‘gentlemanly’ characters.
◊ his first impressions of the beast were bad; Denying that old lady shelter? How ungentlemanly!!
◊ so when the dude got cursed, he cheered lmao
◊ but as he kept watching, he could see the beast wasn’t too bad.
◊ The beast had some flaws, but he obviously cared for belle, he thought.
◊ Oh but he hated Gaston, he really really hated him.
◊ If you acted with someone who played Gaston(and you as belle), he would have to hold back and not rip his face off every time Gaston said something idiotic or sexist.
◊ He had to keep reminding himself that, that Gaston wasn’t real(and thank god for that, real gaston would’ve been torn to shreds.)
◊ the dancing scene was his favourite part for sure.
◊ He’s sad he doesn’t get to play beast with you, but he still enjoys the scene nonetheless.
◊ something cute I can imagine him doing is surprising you by dressing up in a prince costume from the musical and asking you for a dance.
◊ It’s the cutest thing ever oml-
◊ It’s such a beautiful moment, you two just dancing together in a random room with no care in the world.
◊ Your arms wrapped his extravagant costume and his arms wrapped around your pj’s.
◊ He’s a bit shy to be so close to you, but he tries his best to be confident and as princely as he could so he pushes his anxiety aside.
◊ As his stomach fills with butterflies, he becomes slightly confused and concerned, ‘Did Gonta eat butterflies??’ He slightly panics-
◊ ‘Those poor butterflies!!’
◊ He’d watch a lot of videos on how to ballroom dance in advance for this moment.
◊ He’s actually not that bad!
◊ Well- as long as you dance with your feet on his, so he doesn’t crush your toes.
◊ If you ever did some beauty and the beast scenes for him, he would be so happy.
◊ He’d be even happier if you let him play the beast with you.
◊ He’d be smiling the entire time during a fight/sad/serious practice scene.
◊ *almost gets stabbed* “Haha oh no!”
◊ When you sing during one of the scenes, he kinda just-
◊ becomes a puddle of a gentleman.
◊ his heart melts and disintegrates(haha what) of love for you.
◊ he absolutely loves your voice, and would beg for you to sing him one of the soundtracks from beauty and the beast before bed.
◊ He’s really proud of all your plays, and is extremely happy that you–of all people–are his girlfriend.
Byakuya Togami
◊ In all honesty, he thinks your ultimate isn’t all that great.
◊ But as he watches one of your plays, his mind ultimately(see what i did there?) changes.
◊ He becomes impressed and dazzled from how passionate you look when you act, not noticing how you had him sitting on the edge of his seat.
◊ After watching you act, he literally cannot watch another play unless you are in it, finding it unworthy of his time and money.
◊^^this is before you two got together,
◊ you two got together after you found him in your crowd, applauding like the rest of them with the same bewildered expression on his face.
◊ You confronted him and he attempted to compliment your acting, but he accidentally let his feelings for you slip out instead, “I find you truly captivating- Wait no, I-I meant your plays. Your plays, they are truly captivating.” You watched in amusement as he stumbled with his words, eventually interrupting him with an, “Are you available right now?”
◊ So yeah, eventually you two get together, and good for Togami! Because now he doesn’t have to secretly applaud you as a fan, he can applaud you whenever and as your lover.
◊ After shows, he’d give you a single rose as a congrats or applause (so romantic!)
◊ If you ever decided to be chaotic and start belting out lyrics, he would just sigh and let you finish.
◊ Very rarely, you would catch him humming a small tune of a musical song you sang.
◊ But very very rarely. If you ever catch him and confront him about it, he will deny it completely.
◊ I think he’d probably like the more serious plays, he enjoys the meanings and emotions of them more than the sillier and playful ones.
◊ If he ever watched Mean Girls, he would start to slightly mimic Regina George.
◊ “Byakuya wha-” “Get in peasant, we’re going shopping.”
◊ It’d be lowkey hot when you hear him sass you like Regina George tho-
◊ He’d have more big dick energy after watching Mean Girls, emitting his dominance to everyone.
◊ Makoto during a class trial: “So we know that she was at the scene of the crime, right?” “Shut up.” Byakuya flipped his imaginary long hair as Makoto stares at him in confusion, silence filling the room. “Shut up!” “I didn’t even say anything-”
◊ “The new motive is going to be-!” “Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries a book.” Byakuya sighed, turning on his heels and catwalking away.
◊ ...
◊ “IT’S PUNISHMENT TIME-!” “MONOKUMA WAIT NO-”
Leon
◊ Would go to every one of your shows.
◊ Would act like an absolute mom in the crowd.
◊*holding a video camera* You’re doing great sweetie!.
◊”That’s my girl!”
◊ You’d get embarrassed every time he does that.
◊ Hypes you up when you get nervous before going on stage.
◊ In back stage, he’d praise you and give you a bouquet of flowers.
◊ Where did they come from? When did he have time to get flowers when he was yelling in the crowed??
◊ Helps you rehearse lines even if he has no idea what they’re about.
◊ Will fight anyone that makes mean comments towards you.
◊ Even if it’s just constructive criticism, he will take it as an insult.
◊ “Hey s/o! You did great! Maybe next time you could-”
◊ Leon: “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY PUNK!? DO YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS?! I HAVE FRICKING ARMS OF STEEL, I WILL-”
◊ Will take every chance to pick you up and call you a queen.
◊ When you guys watch other plays together, he always says how you’d play a better role or that you’d do so much better.
◊ He is pretty jealous of your talent, he has always wanted to be a singer instead of a baseball star, but his ultimate wouldn’t allow that.
◊ So if you let him sing some musical song duets with you, his heart will be so full.
◊ You make him so happy, he almost breaks into cries.
◊ You two of weekly karoake nights, always singing some Heather’s duet together.
◊ One time, you, Sayaka and Leon sang the Candy Store song, Leon being Heather Chandler, Sayaka as Heather Duke, and you as Heather McNamara.
◊ It was... amazing.
◊ Everyone was cheering, clapping and it praising all of you.
◊ You made Leon feel alive, and he really, really loves you for that.
Toko
◊ She loves your ultimate, and fangirls over you a bunch.
◊ She’s amazed at your confidence to go up in stage, knowing she could never do that.
◊ She thinks your confidence is kinda hot, and decides she is in love.
◊ Likes to add a character in her books that are a lot like you, maybe making them a broadway actress-
◊ She thinks about you a lot, sometimes accidentally blurting out how pretty you were in your last performance in front of everybody.
◊ You confronted her for it, and she almost passed out.
◊ “W-w-why d-do you think t-t-that? D-d-do you th-think you’re b-better than m-me or so-something?”
◊ You already know her and her inferiority complex, so you don’t take offence to what she said, simply replying with, “I think you’re really cute.”
◊ Toko goes silent, except for a few “!??!??” noises that came out of her.
◊ “... U-uh, a-are you j-joking, be-because that isn’t f-funny!” She flushes, denying that you complimented her.
◊ “I’m not joking, here’s my number! Call me, kay?” You grinned before turning on your heel.
◊ She’s kinda dumbfounded, did her crush just ask her out??
◊ She denies it hard at first, not believing that you asked her out.
◊ Thus, not calling you.
◊ Well, I mean, she kinda did.
◊ She dialed your number one day, feeling a bit lonely.
◊ But as she heard your morning voice, she squeaked and hung up quickly.
◊ She felt her face turn into a fireball, her thoughts going into overdrive from how attractive your voice sounded.
◊ Your voice, she was attracted to your voice.
◊ The next day, when you ask her about what that call was about, she denies it and calls you stupid.
◊ Sprinting away while she screamed, “I-i-idiot!!”
◊ Acts like an absolute tsundere around you.
◊ You constantly flirt with her, trying to get her to accept a date with you.
◊ Being the dramatic hoe you are, you try and give her a declaration of your love.
◊ Knowing she is the Ultimate Writer, and into poems, you write one for her.
◊ You declared your love during one of your plays, knowing she sat in the crowd somewhere.
◊ You interrupted a scene and jumped off stage, “Toko Fukawa!”
◊ Her head perked up in surprise, eyes widening as she saw you on one knee for her.
◊ “W-what are you d-doing!?” She yelped, moving her legs away from you.
◊ “I am in love with you. Completely and utterly in love with you, everyday when I see you so immersed in writing a book, I believe I am looking at an angel.”
◊ The crowd stared at the both of you, gasps and aws filling the air.
◊ Toko flushed, you watched her while she wrote?
◊ “For every time you’ve told me I was a fool, an idiot, you weren’t wrong. Because I am a fool, a fool in love with you.” You had one had on your chest, looking into her eyes sincerely.
◊ Her eyes glossed over so slightly you couldn’t see, looking around at the crowd before uttering out, “Y-y-you r-really love m-me, h-huh?” Her face contorting into a lopsided smirk, watching as you giggled.
◊ You laughed out, “Absolutely.”
◊ WHY DID THIS TURN INTO A ONESHOT WHAT WHY WHAT WHYYY
note; thank you so much for reading and sorry for the wait!! we tried our best to finish these together, thank you so much for your patience.
#mod bread#mod chia#mod toby#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#super danganronpa 2#gonta gokuhara#danganronpa headcanons#gonta x reader#gonta headcanons#rantaro amami#rantaro x reader#rantaro headcanons#gundham x reader#gundham tanaka#gundham headcanons#kazuichi x reader#kazuichi souda#kazuichi headcanons#toko fukawa#toko x reader#toko headcanons#leon kuwata x reader#Leon headcanons#leon kuwata#byakuya togami#byakuya togami x reader#byakuya headcanons
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im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry
so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit
the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.
Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes
John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.
The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts
Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.
Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao
Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol
Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.
I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?
Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?
I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters
Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.
To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).
Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.
John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled
Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.
somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better
while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation
after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone
theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should
the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.
Oops! All Trans
Everybody is transgender. Everyone
Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam
Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.
Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.
This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.
Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind
John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.
he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone
Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.
I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay
Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that
by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao
I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.
Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom
Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat
This is another one me n ben have come up with lol
The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out
Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.
John
Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him
He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit
Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.
He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town
after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him
Dave
Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels
He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave
He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now
He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....
not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.
Amy
Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real
Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)
Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao
John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao
At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience
also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,
Shitload
Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao
Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!
Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.
He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,
I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload
images !
with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk
im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now
#jdate#john dies at the end#aus#erh. tthe hell do i tag this as#rambles.txt#long post#well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something#send an ask. or whatever#yaknow#:jazz hands:
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barely on here because no one left to talk to. You're obviously gonna answer this defensively but the hard truth is the people that defend you on here don't know the real you. I'm a follower from your early stages and as you have gotten more popular it's clear you like to receive attention. Not a bad thing but you allow the wrong kind. Yea you're gonna say stuff to me like why r u here.. well I will unfollow so no worries there. The hard truth. You aren't who you used to be in the beginning (in a negative way) you don't have to answer because I will have unfollowed after this anyways. But the people that flock to you aren't your true friends
I actually know firsthand experience from things people have told me. You get defensive and gaslight them. You deserve happiness but not at the cost of others happiness.
This is the only (and last) ask from me. I honestly mean no disrespect. Just dont fall off the edge. You're barely hanging on.
lmao okay there’s so much to debunk here
1. i haven’t been on here much bc life has been really crazy and i haven’t been able to keep up with social media as much (it is literally not just tumblr). i’m allowed to be inactive on my own account i don’t owe people anything if i have my own shit.
2. yes im an attention whore, i’ve stated that multiple times (joking in case you take it seriously) but when i first joined tumblr i had no idea how to use the app, i was brand new so obviously im different since im more myself now, if you don’t like that then im glad you unfollowed
3. i have never asked anyone to back me up when i get sent weird asks or anything, people do that on their own whim bc they see that it’s weird shit, so that point is null and void
4. i have never gaslighted anyone on this app? idk who you’re talking to but i barely speak to people through dms, i mainly interact on the dash
5. glad to see i’m a topic of conversation for you, stay obsessed 💜
i would never force anyone to follow, defend me, or anything of the sort, the fact that i’ve received non stop hate and harassment on this account since like my 4th month on being here when i really do not do much is just super weird. lol you meant no disrespect but have the audacity to attack my entire character? ffs i’m done
i don’t owe you anything at all, i got a hell of a lot of shit going on and it fucking sucks when i escape to tumblr and see some of the same shit on this app, i will react to things based on how i perceive it and i hate that people tell me what i can and can’t react to. i usually don’t let stuff like this get to me but i hate when someone random asshole (yes you) tries to tell me who the fuck i am. so keep talking about me to whoever you’re speaking to bc idgaf imma post my fics and my choices content and whatever the fuck i want to post.
thanks 💜
#sorry for the rant#i’m just sick of this#means no disrespect but attacks me??#weird ass behaviour#idk who you’ve been talking to as well bc i barely interact with people here#but whatever it is what it is
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snow crash - neal stephenson
my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)
final thoughts:
okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.
the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.
one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.
however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.
the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.
y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,
i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)
please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.
i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!
honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.
the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.
and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.
i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)
ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.
howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.
the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.
#bookblr#book tag#snow crash#neal stephenson#reading progress update#book review#cyberpunk#post-cyberpunk#god this is long#kind of ended up being book report esque... elementary school vibes. i fucking love it ngl#original post#playlist series
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explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21
zoom and enhonse
LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats
DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today
CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel
yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D
charlie: HELLO?????//
so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up.
there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza
(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)
OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.
i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute??
K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo
we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on.
thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud
charlie: i am four feet tall.
[cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat]
OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE
[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace]
thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt
charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.
time to discuss strategy!
we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it
TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then
nyx: [meowing at his cats]
thorne: uh... why is silje meowing?
jorb: silje's food bowl is empty
jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides
emotionally, we must bully the catboy
silje saw something interesting and started meowing
thorne: ill take first watch
silje: ill also take first watch.
charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy
(but, like, extended for 15 seconds)
silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]
THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog
EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1
thorne: wow! that sure is a dog.
thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog
its the dog version of honse. DONSE
sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years
sieron sees a mouse! bottom text
charlie is now on watch!
kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this
i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better
the deer are fucked up and undead!
silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"
charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons
charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE
taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog
charlie: this place sucks.
thorne: to be fair, we havent--
charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP
oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.
thorne is at watch!
solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb?
there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem
solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature
michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.
michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check--
solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME
its a bulette! aka a land shark.
problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.
jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount.
leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE
we are just calling it a weird dog
we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,
JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!
solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found
silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog
give it up for day 3!
man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that.
I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO
the wind smells stinky. this is fine.
we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans
UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL
huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things.
WE FOUND A STATUE
charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.
used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up
statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield.
AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.
i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.
charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.
okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.
oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered
k: jorb's hair is so long...
leo: K, PLEASE,
time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat
why do orangatangs look like that
first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked
thorne unhabby ):
thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog
(oh my god this is from late 2018)
leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle
we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut.
SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute...........
FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead
nearly at camp vengenace!
boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down.
AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON
kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool
Michael Is Consulting Several Tables
WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions
HEY, TALL GUY
[smacks sieron]
camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy
time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent
man remember when charlie didnt wear pants
oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild.
jk im making jorb do it bc im tired
HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it.
jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision?
michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!
okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.
ryder: alright, dismissed.
charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D
hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.
SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE
charlie: ive decided he sucks.
silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!
LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian
jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere
leo: we could go to SPACE!
nyx: we could not go to space.
leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,
we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.
michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw.
leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG
michael: he rolled a nat20.
BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG
(the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)
THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN
solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL
sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well
charlie: i punch sieron.
sieron:
sieron: the camp, of course.
man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?
solar & michael: [discussing exposition]
me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]
prophecies are weird.
charlie is just s
she is just sitting here
SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money
oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel.
THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake
charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME.
thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill!
"i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"
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STOP I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THE INFLUX OF WEREWOLF RICHIE FICS? i love it both as a metaphor and as an actual physical thing for richie. like, conceptually? feeling predatory for having "base desires" and feeling like your skin is too tight over your bones, youre growing so fast and you dont want that because it just means there are feelings youre not Growing Out Of. the lack of control over your own body, thoughts, impulses. 1/2
like richie is really out here feeling like a tex avery cartoon any time eddie walks by. hearts in his eyes, smoke coming out of his ears, tongue lolling out of his mouth. awoo, yanno? also richie being tall and hairy and snaggly toothed and having big hands and biting. augh i have Thoughts about werewolf richie. im a monsterfucker what about it. 2/2
AWOOOOO BABEY
Yes!! This was about my tag on that article calling Hader’s smile “lupine” right? lmfao, I get it!!!! I love everything you say here and I am also a monsterfucker, so I’m really happy about the recent surge in monster/werewolf Richie.
You’re so right, the metaphor works perfectly. And the visual theme is so striking, the hairy uncontrollable body transformation as a form of monstrous puberty? Growing too much for his clothes to keep up, the werewolf’s letterman jacket in the book with Richie’s name on the back, how being around Eddie makes him feel like he’s chasing his fucking tail?
I mean, the movie he goes to see with Bill in the book is literally “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” so the groundwork is already laid for us to read it as a manifestation of Richie’s fears about puberty and “base desires”.
So it’s that, and the feeling that he could never trust himself around his friends either, that there’s some intrinsic part of himself he has to hide constantly lest he be cast out. Like, what if all these kids are going missing and turning up dead because of Pennywise, and Richie starts to doubt himself? Wondering if, on his worst, saddest nights, whether or not he’s really the one doing it? If he’s just as predatory as all the homophobes in Derry say he is?
Also, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say Richie’s written as neurodivergent, that he has some kind of hyperactivity that would be misunderstood and gone undiagnosed in the 50s or the 80s, and I get very tender thinking about his wolf being an embodiment of his own perceived “too-muchness” that he hates. Auuughffhghfh werewolf Richie I love you.
And... this could be me misremembering the book or I could be seeing everything through my reddie goggles, but I think it’s interesting that Richie and Eddie are the ones who specifically fear seeing themselves in their respective monsters. The leper and the werewolf. I’m gonna make a separate post about this, but there’s a section where Eddie thinks about throwing the Eucharist in the toilet and I’ve been majorly tinhatting for months about the fact that Richie’s werewolf, uh, climbs out of the toilet. It’s all symbolic. It’s all CONNECTED
Ok lmao I’m getting off track, werewolf Richie is so good. Teenage but also adult, I want big tall hairy Hader!Richie with his long arms and his overgrown sideburns and lupine smile and his overbite that crowds his mouth with too many fangs, as he jokes and tries desperately to cover them up. Pretending it’s just another Voice when his voice goes all raspy and subsonic.
Then for full shift he goes through some kinda gnarly Hemlock Grove body horror shit, and winds up like the wolves from Dog Soldiers. Very big and scary-looking, with one wonky eye and a tail that thumps uncontrollably when the Losers find him and Eddie gives him some ear scratches. Omg he probably pukes all the time as a wolf too dhjdhdkdhd
I’m gonna stop now before I start talking about muzzles and collars and leashes 😶
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Who are some of your fave skz writers? For each genre, angst, fluff and smut? Hehe🌱
i don’t read any reader insert fluff and angst fics due to reasons oops so i’ll try to make up with it for an extensive smut writer rec :’) these are just some that immediately popped into my mind! i’m probably also mentioning blogs that are no longer active (or maybe they’re on hiatus who knows) but if you’re new to the community in general, here’s some good stuff you maybe haven’t stumbled across!
@moonyskz | moonie hasn’t been all too active recently since she’s busy irl, but that shouldn’t stop you from checking out her stuff!! she’s mostly known for her iconic jisung corruption oneshot and may i say i was the anon that requested that i feel so accomplished pls let me flex lmao rip oh and she inspired me to make my own smut blog so all hail moonie legend
@skz-maze | ivy is more active on @moonlit-jeno and focuses more on nct smut nowadays, so if you stan skz and nct you are in literal heaven i tell you. i ATE up her stuff every time she posted (still do). ivy could write about getting fucked by jeno behind a dumpster and i’d still call it a masterpiece her writing style is one of my personal favs
@sparklyafterdark | nami just recently posted again and is one of the blogs i deadass look up too. i lost count how many times i reread nami’s fics it’s the writing style i tell you. if i had to decide the holy trinity of skz smut writers on this hellsite it’s basically nami and ivy and moonie so yeah there are my two cents about that.
@staysdarkhours | it’s been a while since kit’s shown any sign of life on that blog, but when she posted her works, she DELIVERED. she covered the entire spectrum – from dom reader to sub reader from filthy threesomes to soft dom felix i was well fed at that time meaning you will be well fed does that even make sense i dont think so whatever.
@violethhj | cherry is one of the VERY few blogs i know who have existed before this blog did and is still quite active. compared to others, cherry’s blurbs are definitely on the shorter side but is that a bad thing? absolutely not! her dialogue makes up for it ugh!!! and the best thing: she’s come a long way and has improved lots so yeah show her some love regardless and her minecraft fics
@whoredhrs | it’s been a while since princess updated, but just like all the others, check out her blog regardless. may i say she’s the sole reason why i developed a breeding kink honestly go binge read her stuff. and don’t forget to check out her asks too! so much discourse uGH HER MIND
@darkforskz | don’t believe whatever bullshit star likes to spout about herself. she’s a great ass writer, her concepts have me QUAKING. even her shorter blurbs i written with such finesse where i think??? how can she pack that much imagery in so little paragraphs??? she’s currently on break on that blog, but she’ll most definitely respond if you shoot her an ask! or if not, at least you can make her day when she logs back in.
@honeybinnies | i’d say out of all writers i’m putting on this list, nia’s writing style is definitely the most ‘poetic’ one if that makes sense. she focuses more on soft smut, but the way she writes is packed with metaphors and romantic imagery so regardless if you’re not horny but want to appreciate some nice smut, head over to her blog!
@skz-dark-hours | oh look i’ve finally mentioned some more newer names KLSADFLKAJ ok so lilo is fairly new here i’d say (sorry if you aren’t bb) and she’s taking requests right now! so go snatch the opportunity while you still can fellas! lilo’s blurbs are definitely on the way longer side from what i perceive, and she also like to add aftercare in most - if not all – of her works. if that’s up your alley, check out her blog!
@honeyfelix | cherrie is also one of the blogs that emerged quite recently and i’ve been hooked on her stuff from the start on. she too, is one of the people with extensively long blurbs filled with lots of detail, A+ dialogue, and lots of imagery. reading through her asks is also something i highly recommend, they’re really,,, uh,, something.
@starrychannies | to be honest, i’ve only gone through a reading spree of sunny’s ateez works, but from what i’ve read, somepne give that girlie a trophy just her mind??? the plot she has instore for the kinks??? from her skz fics, i highly recommened the chan fic and honestly it’s still a mystery to me as to how some writers can magically write soft dom and then hard dom with a snap of a finger sunny definitely has that down.
look it’s almost 1 am and i for sure missed SO MANY OTHER writers so i’m sorry if i missed you sjdhjk but yeah i hope you found some new blogs?
#anon#i am very well aware that im missing a fuck ton of writers#but those are the ones where i've read most of their stuff?#writer recs
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So you really DON'T believe that Sora looks like Ven or Roxas??? Wtf lmao Bluerosesburnblue stuck to the facts there as usual, so why are you fighting the truth so hard? I dont want to sound rude but nothing you said made any sense. It's PERFECT for Sora to have been influenced by Ven and its basically implied in BBS.
I do like how the moment I allow anonymous asks again, the questions come flying in. Especially, when this is one of four that I’ve received talking about the same thing since those posts. I can’t tell if it’s even the same person, or if I just riled up some indignant feathers of her followers. I don’t know Blue personally, but I do feel pretty confident that she wouldn’t encourage one of the things you (probably) sent based on her comments about similar behavior during the SRT debunk. I know that the original inquirer, Mademoiseli, wouldn’t like it either.
Well done.
In any case, you could’ve brought it to the table on the reblog/comment chain instead of in my ask box, but...
Okay.
I am pretty tired of this conversation and the impact it has had on my interaction with others, so this is probably going to be the last time I address this unless any actual new information comes about regarding this part of the story. There is something that needs to be realized though:
For one—the reason why I even commented in the first place and why the conversation took its turn is essentially linked. The reason I entered it was because I held a difference to these statements and phrases made by Blue’s first answer:
“I think it’s certainly possible that Sora’s connection to Ventus did effect his appearance in a number of ways, and out of every possibility that one seems the most likely to me.”
along with:
“Ultimately, I can’t say for certain that Ventus had an impact on Sora’s appearance, but since there seems to be a good deal of evidence supporting that it would be possible, it’s one of the better explanations in my opinion.”
[via Blue post]
Admittedly, I was “triggered” to respond from this, which so happen to be the opening and closing statements of the posts. But, I understand that I shouldn’t have been prompted by it in the way that I was (not fully, anyway).
In that, she was primarily talking about the topic of Ven influencing Sora’s physical appearance as a probable explanation to the hypothetical question of, essentially, “Why do Sora and Ventus look alike?”. All the while, looking at how the ideal was congruent with existing concepts.
I, on the other hand, in addition to that, took it as an evaluation of, not only a hypothetical scenario, but extending to that of weighing the probability of the question and explanation becoming reality within the context.
In other words, while she was much more concerned with whether there existed congruent truths between the premise (Ven influencing Sora) and the context, I was primarily concerned with establishing whether it HAS happened and judging the likelihood of it happening at all. Between us speaking on theory and concepts or plausibility and probability—these certainly aren’t mutually exclusive, but the direction of the conversation was split between the two somehow.
And I’ll take the blame for that, but in recognizing that our approaches weren’t completely separate, still, talking about the likelihood of the premise being true and/or introduced at a later time WAS still a relevant topic. It could’ve been its own conversation, but it was relevant, nonetheless.
Two—I am a person that, when encountered with a question, I am first immediately concerned with the facts. Always. Only after that do I inquire about uncertain material through a “possibility spectrum”, and what determines the strong end of this are the facts that suggest or support the proposition at hand. Through that, I’m never opposed to admitting my uncertainty about something or the existence of “breathing room” to probability. Not to mention, establishing the difference between plausibility and probability for its interaction in gauging truth—I could get more into that, but it won’t be necessary for the sake of this post.
Anyway, with that out of the way, I’m going to approach the rest of this post by centering it around this question [ID as premise]:
Premise: “Do you believe it’s possible for it to be explained that Ventus influenced Sora’s physical appearance when their hearts connected?”
Understanding the extensions and work around of the questions (Sora growing into the influence and not being instant), I would answer—yes, it is possible by the merit of its potential to be. However, after reviewing the explanations already established for this connection and the results created by said explanations for the topic the prompt addresses, I would say that it’s unlikely to happen.
Yeah. You read that right.
Possible, but unlikely to happen. [improbable]
Remember to consider that there are two ways in which something can be explained for fictional media. This is typically split in what is taken from the concept of Diegesis, where in this scenario, we’re talking about explanations that function internally within and by the world, and explanations that function externally outside and by other means. Both approaches can even simultaneously exist for the same topic—there being an appropriate explanation for something in both ways.
The formation of my conclusion, actually, is based on the facts, which also don’t include any strict implication that Sora was influenced by Ven, as if to even create an equilibrium between their facial features. If anything, you could argue the opposite was done, specifically in the way of making a distinction between the two by their face.
So, let’s take a step back, and go to where all of this actually started in the game’s context. The first question revolving around this topic would essentially be this:
Q1: “Why do Roxas and Sora look alike?”
*we’ll refer to this as Q1
If not automatically generated by the events of the story itself, this question was made relevant even back in the release of the Ultimania Alpha (when Roxas was just “Mysterious Boy”). Here we could see Roxas’ face and model much more clearly than that of the picture at the end of the GBA version of CoM. The Ultimania Alpha features this as his profile header (and also on the correlation chart):
“Who does he (you) look like? The key person of “II””
- KH Ultimania Alpha—Roxas’ Profile, pg.12
First, it’s good to establish that by design, the characters of Sora and Roxas do and were intended to [basically] have the same face, save for a few differences made. They also have other attributes that are considerate of each other, but we’ll highlight the face specifics. This is certainly non-debatable from an external application that they are to be correlated characters by design.
“The facial models of Roxas and Sora are basically the same, but the chin is slightly different. When I put on his hair, Roxas looked a little bit stout, so I made him thinner.”
- KH2 Ultimania—Tomohiro Kayano [3D Modeling Director], pg. 345
“Roxas: I traced Sora for this piece. My image of Roxas actually came first, before Sora, and I had already drawn him for the first project document. The concept of "between" was something I kept in mind: since Sora's outfit was to be black this time, I made Roxas' base color white, and I also added a black and white checked pattern. The cross on his chest isn't a necklace, it's part of his zipper, and it is the motif of the Nobodies. Also, his hair is supposed to be the exact same length as Sora's.”
- KH2 Ultimania, pg. 701 [via KHInsider]
“Roxas
A lot of thought was put into this character. Based on the premise that he was 'an expression of the reverse, hidden inside Sora', I gave him pretty much the exact same face as Sora, just with slightly narrower eyes. And then, I made white the basis for his clothes, in contrast to KHII Sora. The black and white checkered pattern, 'neither darkness nor light', was to be a hint. My absolute favourite scene of his has to be the one at the end of the opening of KHII, when he says 'looks like my summer vacation is over'. I put a lot of feeling into creating that, as I intended it to feel, for a moment, like the end.”
- Nomura, KH Character’s Report Vol. 1 [via KHInsider]
The third one is the most interesting because it’s the only one to provide an explanation to the external application of the similarity—it being based on the connection that the characters shared and how they’re perceived against one another. Roxas being the “reverse” of Sora was utilized in more ways than the face, more so than what is understood by how that could apply to Riku’s design.
If considering the relevancy of correlating Sora and Roxas’ designs outside of representing their connection to one another (i.e. just by design alone in representing it—external), the answer can also be assumed from the game’s revelations. Meaning, after playing KH2, it would be reasonable that people would essentially believe that the answer to Q1 was answered as:
“Because Roxas is Sora’s Nobody”
Hah.
However, in the reality of the internal explanation that directly influences the characters, this didn’t quite turn out to be the answer that was presented. Not only that, but the question changed. BBS happened, and instead, we receive an answer that turns Q1 into a misleading question, and presents another in its place:
Q2: “Why do Roxas and Ventus look alike?”
No, seriously. It is the literal question posed in the BBS Ultimania:
“Why do Roxas and Ventus look alike?
A: Because inside Sora, which is Roxas’ body, is Ventus’ heart.
As was shown in the opening to KH BbS and the ending to Last Episode, Sora and Ventus’ heart are linked (P.646). And so Roxas, who is a part of Sora, was affected by that and looks just like Ventus.”
- BBS Ultimania, pg. 616 [via KHInsider]
The answer here is pretty straight forward. The “why” is propositioned by two things: Sora and Ventus’ hearts being linked and Ventus’ heart residing in Sora when Roxas was created. Whether it was just one or both of these reasons is inconsequential—Roxas took his physical appearance from Ventus, NOT Sora. This is the internal explanation given on the topic of Roxas’ and Ventus’ appearance, not the external as previously given in KH2.
Since BBS, the idea of Roxas = Sora has essentially been replaced with the actuality of Roxas = Ventus multiple, if not every single, time appearance is mentioned or corresponding questions were answered.
"Ven has the same hairstyle, face, clothes, and voice of Roxas, but just who is he?”
“The face of the polygon model of Ventus that appears in this title is, strictly speaking, different to the one from KH BBS. The one in KH BBS was subtly altered from Roxas' face, but this time, in order to increase efficiency on motion work, we used the same model for Ventus and Roxas.”
“Yes, it is the same actor. Therefore the player will only look at Ven as Roxas from Kingdom Hearts 2.”
[blazed through because those quotes are too long]
* Keep in mind it’s usually about how VEN looks like Roxas, because Roxas was introduced as a character first. Internally for the story, it’s really the other way around.
And, in the mountains of paratextual material that has covered the two characters since BBS, it has opted to mention the similar notion of Roxas getting his appearance from Ven—this being mostly by the specification of the face. The idea that Roxas and Ventus share the same “physical entity” has been introduced and cemented by the explanations given by BBS.
So, instead of getting Q1 v.2:
“Okay? But uhh, still, why do Sora and Ventus [Roxas] look alike, then?”
We get this:
Q3: “Why do Sora and Vanitas look alike?”
The answer, of course, was explained in a similar fashion to Q2:
“How did you decide on the design for their faces?
Nomura: Well Terra’s look was already a decided thing, we just had to make him look a bit younger. I knew that Ventus should look either like Sora or Roxas, and I wasn’t sure which one to go with, but I thought Vanitas looking like Sora would have a bigger impact so I had Ventus look like Roxas instead. And there is a reason that Vanitas looks like Sora. As Sora filled in Ventus’ fractured heart, the fractured part (Vanitas) was effected by Sora and ended up with Sora’s face. So if it had been Riku who had filled in Ventus’ heart, Vanitas would have looked like Riku.”
- BBS Ultimania, pg. 646 [via KHInsider]
Similar to the above, instead of Vanitas, who comes from Ventus, looking as such of his existential bond, instead it emphasizes that of Sora = Vanitas by the physical attributes. Interestingly enough, in the same quote is the proposition of whether Ventus would look like either Sora or Roxas in development, lending more to the idea of this separation of their appearance. Similarly, this is mentioned consistently in how Vanitas looks like Sora. This extends even beyond the Ultimania books, as even the KH3 Character Files book emphasizes that Vanitas has “Sora’s face” and resemblance. [pg.86]
If you read my posts in the original chain, you’d understand that what I’m pointing out is that, instead of establishing an equilibrium between the four characters, it instead creates the separation of two different physical entities:
Sora [Vanitas] and Ventus [Roxas].
This would be different than what was cleanly set between Kairi, Namine, and Xion—this being accompanied by external and internal reasons that not only captured the connections between the characters, but also have literal, internal reasons applied that are part of the narrative.
“How did you go about designing Xion's outward appearance?
Nomura: It was decided from the start that she would have a deep connection to Kairi, so she was based on Kairi with her hair changed a little. We were actually thinking of changing nothing but the colour of her hair, but when designs were drawn up her hairstyle was made quite a bit different too. Even the 3D polygon model's face is the same as Kairi's, apart from the hair. So, if you look at the 3D models of Xion, Namine and Kairi, they have the same face and differ only in their hair, but unexpectedly have individual personalities.”
- Days Ultimania, pg. 485 [via KHInsider]
Actually, the quote itself is similar to the comment made by Tomohiro Kayano above about Sora and Roxas’ 3D facial models being “basically the same”, except the girls are without difference of detail to the face, with the note of being the same while the hair is specifically what differs. This turns out to be an interesting detail because, there’s never an attempt to create a distinction between the three characters outside of what has been spoken for—their hair. And, they have the internal explanation to boot for what makes it literal in and of itself.
This is different than that of the Sora [Vanitas] and Ventus [Roxas] entities, where for internal functionality, there is then a difference by the face in those two and what it means for the characters in the story. As far as I’m concerned, there isn’t even an attempt to establish that they all have “the same face, but different hair.”
Where’s the equilibrium?
The further we go into the explanations that take a different road than that of what Q1 proposes, the question itself starts to become irrelevant—the mystery of the question’s origin (that between Roxas and Sora) was instead supplied by other lore reasoning in the world. All the while, setting a distinction between the two physical entities by “the face” as opposed to just answering the original question.
At least, in an internal way.
Really, Q1 is already answered—this answer being more external, that Roxas has “pretty much the exact same face” as Sora as a way to represent their connection to one another, with the “pretty much” representing the differences that can be accounted for.
However, when it comes to an in-world, internal explanation, instead of providing a lore-based reasoning to express in the narrative, which would’ve been thought to be the same reasoning (because he’s Sora’s Nobody) as the external reasoning, instead we have an answer that makes the Q1, now, seem misleading.
To be fair, it doesn’t necessarily eliminate the Q1, just makes it seem less likely to be answered or if even to be something to be asked anymore. That’s because, in all the ways we understand what resulted from the connection made between Sora and Ventus, we haven’t exactly been given an explicit negative to the possibility of the original premise:
Premise: “Do you believe it���s possible for it to be explained that Ventus influenced Sora’s physical appearance when their hearts connected?”
or, to reintroduce it in a familiar angle:
Q1 v.2: “Why do Sora and Ventus [Roxas] look alike?”
It’s not explicitly negated, but in all the information I could find, this following quote is the closest to answering either question.
– So it’s not “Once Sora’s story is finished, another hero’s story will begin”, the hero is always Sora.
Nomura: Yes. One of the concepts behind the KH series is that the main character Sora isn’t special, he’s just a normal boy. Yes he does have connections with Ventus’ heart, among others, but he hasn’t inherited anything from them. He’s just a normal boy you could find anywhere. I wanted to make Sora a character that the player could take onto themselves and feel that you don’t have to be special. But connect to many people and you will realize your secret potential. With BbS I want to make fans excited to see Sora’s return. The secret event is a symbol of that, so I hope everyone will get to see it and wait for Sora’s next adventure.
- BBS Ultimania, pg. 650 [Via KHInsider]
Unlike the other quotes supplied for the topic of Sora and Ventus’ connection, this quote was on the conversation of Sora’s adventures post-KH3. However, the comment itself is still in retrospect of the internal attributes of Sora’s character, even specifically mentioning his connection to Ventus’ heart, putting it in perspective of that particular circumstance that happens in the game.
So, what do we have now?
That comment doesn’t completely negate the premise, technically, but it also doesn’t support it either. In tandem with everything else in what HAS been done with the connection between Sora and Ventus....
It doesn’t look likely.
There’s also the mention of Aqua pointing out how Sora is:
ENG: “the spitting image of Ven”
JPN: “ヴェンそのもの [Ven himself]”
Even though there isn’t anything conclusive to whether she, just like with Riku, was talking more about Sora and Ven’s disposition than their physical face, the BBS Ultimania does go with the former.
“Guided by a warm light, Aqua meets two boys on the island. Their atmosphere [presence] was similar to that of Terra and Ventus.”
- BBS Ultimania, pg.384
As it is, the fact remains that there hasn’t been any attempt in equalizing the appearance between Sora and Ventus outside of what could already be understood externally through Sora and Roxas.
The understanding of it being unlikely to be addressed or to be a truth doesn’t rely on “it wasn’t talked about”. Because, IT WAS talked about—the topic surrounding this HAS been approached, it HAS been explained, and the premise at hand isn’t anything offered as actuality.
So, why should I assume then that the information we’ve received for years, that has been explained and told in so many ways, is incomplete?
It could change, sure, but it’s not incomplete as it is. As to this day, we can safely say that the literal equalization of similarity isn’t between Sora and Ventus, because it, as of right now, literally isn’t in accordance to the observable facts. It hasn’t happened, even if to predict it to happen. And if to weigh the possibility of this change occurring, after all the facts presented above and how the subject has been breached, that yes—it’s an unlikely change.
Not impossible, but improbable.
And that is VERY reasonable to say after 10+ years and an immense amount of supplemental paratext produced to say something about it.
This being by not what information is lacking, but by what has been provided. And even then, the frequency and different angles in which the information has been touched upon makes it hit much harder.
If in the attempt to play devil’s advocate on myself, I would proposition that the proposed premise would be setup by the concept behind the story of BBS:
"There is no coincidence in fate"
In which, along with the questions of “why Riku was chosen to wield the keyblade, or why Kairi met Sora and Riku”, the original question (Why do Sora and Roxas look alike?) could’ve been a part of that, and thus, explained similar to that of the Kairi, Namine, and Xion situation—that Sora AND Roxas were influenced by Ventus (and, logically, Vanitas would’ve been as well), and that being why they look alike.
But nope.
Instead, we got it all the other way around where Sora is the character influencing the other characters, and being connected to all three through that direction, not backwards. Creating, really, the impression that the visual similarity between Sora and Ventus IS fate, but through this, it is part of that scheme in which two people who just so happen to be similar are connected to one another.
Their resemblance and their connection is by the design of fate and the way it was meant to be—not necessarily due to a direct phenomenon, but that two people who have that similarity were fated to have the connection they have.
It certainly has been done in storytelling before, so it isn’t a crazy concept anyway.
Don’t know for certain, but from the information available, that actually seems more likely.
Sora has not been affected by Ventus, and the fact that this information isn’t presented as incomplete, this idea becomes less plausible to even be implemented, if not, irrelevant. This would be the same to Q1 as it is, where it was diverted by other information and questions.
All the while, in recognizing the distinction given between the two physical entities of Sora[Vanitas] and Ventus[Roxas], I much more prefer how they’ve handled it so far, where that bridge between Sora and Ventus isn’t closed by that type of phenomenon, but instead, through the efforts of capturing the connection that the characters have. This is directly through the acknowledgement of how the story has implemented understanding of the distinction between the two, particular the face, NOT just the hair. This is also in accordance to story things, in that in the connection between Sora and Ventus, this is primarily a one-sided affair in how Sora influences Ven, NOT the other way around, and I’m fine with that in how it is represented in the story.
This is especially for the sake of Sora and Roxas’ characters is very concerned with his identity in relation to his existential ties towards Sora, and Sora is the normal boy who has “secret potential” by his ability to connect with other people. I’ve of zero interest of Sora’s character being tainted with that type of effect, especially now and in everything that hasn’t [would’ve] acted in accordance to it.
Sigh.
Anyway, that’s just what it is. Don’t send me any more asks expecting me to post this, because I honestly don’t have anything else to say about it that would be that much different. My points would largely be the same. If you have concerns though (like some quotes I got myself since KHInsider didn’t have them), just message me, and I’ll send some screen shots and whatnot.
Anyway, overall, it still remains an interesting thing to thing about alongside the concepts that are implemented in KH. That, I can agree on.
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💘🔪🍓🌈🦄
Ty for the asks! I kinda wrote a lot so i put it under a cut ^^’’
💘- 3 ways to win your heart?
1. liking the same obscure stuff as me lmao
2. idk just talking to me. im shy irl and online so im rly bad at making conversation/initiating conversation
3. being nice? idk lol. i can’t stand rude ppl. even when my irl friends are rude about my interests im kinda just >:( it’s a wonder im still on this site...
🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?
this isn’t the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me but i guess i’ll tell this story. i’d never told anyone this before (that sounds so dramatic lol) SO.
There was a convention i was at in 2013, i was around 17. On the last day of the con i had to take a shuttle from the hotel to the convention center. I had to take the shuttle alone so i was really nervous because 1. im awful with directions so i was scared i was gonna get lost. and 2. the fact that i was alone. I remember clutching my backpack like it was my lifeline. There was a guy on the bus next to me in a Doctor Horrible cosplay... I don’t remember who talked to who first, it was probably me pointing out who he’s dressed as. You probably know where this is going but we were talking and i don’t remember what he said but i remember feeling uncomfortable. I think he started singing for some reason? Singing a doctor horrible song. Like idk dude i dont wanna rain on anyone's parade but twice its happened where dudes have randomly sang to me at a con and i just feel uncomfortable when ppl do that. Part of it is probably the embarrassment/the attention. But anyway! That’s not really the “bad” part.
We got off the bus and went to the convention center. He.. was following me around like we were friends. Of course I didn’t want to be rude so I didn’t say anything. So it was whatever i just walked around with him and figured he’d leave eventually. THEN. As we were walking he asked me if he could put his arm around me?! (At least he asked? right? (sarcasm)) So. I am so glad in that moment i didn’t give into my nature to say “yes” to everyone and i flat out told him no. He was like “oh so you don’t want me to mess up your cosplay right?” I awkwardly laughed like “Yep... my cosplay...” Then I told him i have to meet up with a friend and i left.
Phew... sorry that was long lol. So yeah I know not a big deal compared to other girls experiences but it sure freaked me the heck out :/
🍓- one secret about yourself
uhhh... when i was like 12 or something i had a self-insert/OC “fanfiction/story?” that were about friends in a rock band and I used pictures of generic anime girls to represent the characters. I also used pics of haruhi suzumiya to be the “villian” in the story (had no idea who she was or what the anime was i just found the pics on google lol) i cringe whenever i see haruhi suzumiya now. i remember there was a part of the story where *I* was pushed into a big hole by whatever-i-named-haruhi-suzumiya-girl and i had to go to the hospital. *Insert that spongebob inhale meme* Also “me” and the characters that were my friends all had boyfriends with the same hair color as each of us. because oF cOuRsE.
I posted this on the website Kupika. which is like. hmm.... bad. 4chan vibes? idk. i just searched it and i am sHOCKED its still active.
The THINGS we REMEMBER hUH?
🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys
🤔... oh! freckles! lmao legit... i think freckles are v cute. (i was sitting here trying to think of something lol)
🦄- how do you perceive yourself?
...uh... not great tbh lol. I’m in my 20s [exact age redacted] and im still not confident enough to drive by myself, im taking college classes AGAIN even though i do have a BA degree but i ended up hating the thing i majored in so i am BACK IN SCHOOL. and i dont know if its cuz of zoom school or the content but i DONT LOVE IT. and ARGH. what am i gonna do with my life? pathetic. deep down i know i want to be a writer but i dont have the brain cells to put together a whole book rn.
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Art tag game!!
I was tagged by the lovely @sunny-day-sky , tysm💕💕💕
One insecurity
Animals! I hate drawing them cause i always go too comic-y or too realistic and i can't find a way to blend them with my style ><
Two fears
Failure: i hate when what i do flops and gets ignored/not seen. I perceive it as a failure and it makes me super self conscious
Being misunderstood: maybe part of the reason i am so scared of being misunderstood is the fact that i have to constantly speak a language that isn't Mine, but i am super scared. It has happened and it will happen again cause you cannot breathe without being severely judged on this site...
Three art turn ons
- Panneggio!!! Unf!!! I'm a sucker for a good ol panneggio
- Flowy hair!!!!!!! It makes the whole image so good!!!
- Allegories!!! I! Love! Allegories! I love subtext! i LOVE it!!! Everything means something else and i know this is very italian-reinassance of me, but U N F GIVE ME COLOR SUBTEXT GIVE ME METAPHORS GIVE ME MYTHOLOGY REFERENCESHSUHJS
Four life fandom/art goals
1. Being recongizable! Like having A Style that's mine! And a few things that get popular and that people recognize me for in certain fandoms! (I dont want fame, i want to be "the one who did this")
2. Creating good content people feel inspired by! Inspiring people is my goal, ive said it a thousand times and even if i know it sounds super pretentious cause i'm just a nobody with a 50€ tablet i WANT to help people and to give them SOMETHING that makes them feel better and feel like they can do stuff idk... art helps and if a small dumb drawing i so can make someone smile it's enough for me to feel fullfilled
3. Living off of my art. Or at least like... being successful enough i don't go months without a single commission... at least successful enough that i don't struggle with stuff and have a way to get a bit of weighr off my parents... does this count as a fandom/art goal idk djsbsjs
4. Being somehow of help to younger/less experienced artists. Tbf i dont know much, but i have 2 whole years of experience making commissions and like... posting on tumblr daily (or... not daily)
Five things i like doing
- hands!!! It sounds weird but lmao
- hair!!! Super lovely to work on
- eyes!! I have drawn so many eyes on literally every piece of paper i've ever stumeled across i'm.. i love drawing eyes
- flowers, though i dont do many
- storyboards! Someone hire me to do storyboards it's my life and i swear i'm good at it!!
Six weaknesses
- backgrounds
- feet
- shoes
- my eyes after 4 hours of looking at the screen!
- short hair from the back
- my wrist, that's a whole weakness
Seven things i love
- allegory again cause a bitch has a thing she really LOVES
- mythology drawings
- dragons but not when i draw them
- lines!!! I love doing lineart a LOT, it'a funnier than coloring for sure, it's also a bit less creatively challengig than sketching and i Love it
- drawing different faces (and ethnicities)
- world building is my life, my entire literal life
- designing different clothes that match different cultures to merge so i can put different meanings inside my characters without having to say everything out loud (i.e. Chike from sanctuary)
I'm not going to tag eight people cause i wouldn't know who to tag, hut if you want to do this please say i did tag you and tag me back!!!
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01/26/2019
so much tea.
***to anyone who may stumble on this that i know irl (including my future self) i am aware that i am reading into many things and im not taking everything actually this seriously okay
SHINNS PARTY/THOUGHTS ON ANTHONY B4
throwback to a week ago, at shinn’s going away party. they told me to invite teresa and i said “i’ll see if she’s free” and then didnt invite her, bc 1) i like to be myself at parties and i cant be when i’m with her, and 2) i didnt want her to flirt with anthony :) at some point, anthony gave me his jacket, then i got warm later and took it off. at another point, josh gave me his jacket, and then i later gave it back too lol. also anthony is so sweet, i went over to sit by him to eat the macaroni tuna salad i made for erryone, but then the seat next to him was full, so he insisted i take his seat lol but in my head i was like um i want to just chat next to you but after he gave me his seat he left lmao.
SHINN’S PARTY CONT (taking pics)
then later we were taking group pics and anthony put his arm around me for a few, then he like realllllly put his arm around me. like i was wearing a crop top and so his hand wrapped around my waist was very sensual. i put my hand tight on his waist back (back as in he did it first, not as in on his back), but in hindsight i shouldve grabbed his and moved it tighter or something lol. we kept it like that for a few pics, and broke and then took more pics. josh thought he could do the same thing so he also put his arm sensually on me hahahahaha. in hindsight again, i should have moved his hand further lol. sitting on the couch he also was letting his leg touch mine, which i did not care about, but now i’m wondering if it meant something to him.
THOUGHTS ON JOSH
josh has done a few cringey things that i think are hilarious but i dont tell anyone lol, and idk if he’ll remember them and he’ll probably never bring them up. also i’m nice to him bc we’re FRIENDS so maybe he’s reading into that? i brought him cane’s post-his-birthday-throw-up bc im a good person and it was his birthday lol. i had told him how justin was always texting me and how i’d wait like hours to respond, and now josh is texting me about tamuhack and so maybe he’s reading into that bc im actually replying? which is because when i text justin, josh knows i wait, so maybe he thinks that since i’m not waiting im into him?? i don’t want him to get any wrong hints???? ugggghhhhh (also i could be reading into things myself, like when i thought he was asking me out so i rejected him but then he said it was supposed to be a group thing, to which madison thinks is bs and im pretty sure i do too. UGH I ALREADY TOLD HIM IM NOT INTO HIM. i’ve already pondered it for a while and decided no)
MY PICKUP SKILLZ
in hindsight, apparently my current “moves” on anthony could be perceived as subtle, and adding him on snap and swiping up on shinn’s story of him playing guitar probs wasn’t enough.
in retrospect, i should just do what i want and stop caring about hurting people’s feelings. which is why i wanna openly flirt with anthony at shinn’s next coming back/going away party. this is my plan (imma reread it and be like that’s still too subtle):
ideas: we should play beer pong, opposing teams then same team??? lots of high fives and maybe get touchy feely?? sit next to him on the couch?? ask him to walk me to my car -> thank him, maybe kiss him, maybe offer to “give him a ride home.” or if he goes home, ask whoever’s giving him a ride to also give me a ride, and drop off anthony first, then maybe i’ll stay ;)))). or if someone (josh) ALSO tags along to walk me to my car, i can drop off josh at his place and then go to anthony’s lol. ooh should we play never have i ever?
is anthony gonna reciprocate?? am i gonna get rejected?? what if he’s like “she’s drunk, she doesn’t really want it, i should wait till she’s sober
AT ACM MEETING
josh was like “when are we gonna go shooting???” “you’re out of town this weekend lol” “but like when are you free???” “on the weekends lol” “so next weekend” “yes haha” then i talked to miggy.
miggy had messaged me earlier about teresa’s golf skillz. i asked him what made him think of it, then he said he was telling anthony about it earlier. (anthony’s into golf.) as someone else approached to talk to him/us, he whispered real quick, “is she single?” and i said yeah, but i didnt want to end the conversation!!! i am also single!!! i also think anthony is cute!!!
so convo got interrupted, then at some point, josh is bringing up shooting again, but i kinda end it and talk to miggy again. and i say, “sooo ummm about anthony.... well i am also single. and i also think he’s cute.” cue, “Adri?!?!?!? i didn’t know you were into younger guys?!?” and i don’t think i said anything (maybe “yeah?”) but i kinda made this face like “hmm never really thought about it?” then he comes close and he quietly basically says like “not in like a judgy way or anything, but are you the type to smash around?” and i again cannot remember what i said but it was like nodding my head and saying a hearty (confident?) “yeah” whatever that means!! but in my head i was like “yas i prefer it that way!!” and “bruh i literally graduate in 4 months.” and i was like “is that what he wants” and he was like “mm yeah?” i think, and i think i nodded??? i wish i could remember??????????
idk if josh heard any of that. but miggy probs is gonna tell anthony??? i haven’t told teresa any of this??? do u think miggy will tell josh??? maybe only if josh brings it up first, i am confident in miggy’s ability to shoot him down and be like “um nah fam” lol.
what if he does that and josh doesn’t surrender? or if he gets mad??? um here’s my comeback if he ever casually brings it up lol. “remember when you introduced me to all your friends at litmas?? and you were like “that’s michael, he’s the one who blablabla. that’s so and so, and he blahblahblah. and now that’s anthony. anthony makes water wet.” and do you know what I think about when i think of anthony now lmao.
miggy probably already told anthony that i’m into him (dtf) but that takes just a bit of the fun out of it. but that also makes it easier bc he’s also probs dtf?? idk??? miggy didn’t say anthony was into me explicitly????
wait does anthony have a car lol.
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wyd if i told u to do 1-38 👀
the ‘be honest’ meme / @afterburied
ok below the cut bc this is a Long One
1. What would prevent you from following someone?
generally speaking just kinda if our writing doesn’t mesh? but also on different blogs i have different kind of vibes if you know what i mean? like here on jason i’m not likely to follow historical/extreme fantasy blogs if they don’t have some form of modern verse bc i just don’t see him in those settings, i also tend to avoid anyone who says they dont like multis/ocs even if it doesn’t apply on the blog im on bc uh we love multis and ocs here. sometimes if a blogs new i wont follow, but sometimes i will it just depends on the vibe lmao. sometimes aesthetics/etc will play a role but mostly it’s just based on rules/meshability
2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?
yes and no? like i won’t shun anyone for having “bad” aesthetics or anything, but i hold my own personal aesthetic to a higher regard? like, if someones aesthetic makes things unreadable/impossible to navigate then i hate it, but like i don’t care about other peoples aesthetic that much. if it’s pretty i definitely see the blog in a better light which im trying not to do, but mostly it’s my own aesthetics that matter to me and that’s just because i simply need to be perceived positively at all times
3. What current rp trend do you hate?
i don’t think there are any i really hate? as long as trends aren’t harmful i dont care much.
4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?
i don’t lmao the only person who knows about rp irl is my inner circle, and they know it as rp bc at least one of them has actually been in the rp world
5. Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?
i don’t really have much preference? all genders bring in their own potential for different plots and dynamics and i love them all equally. but female muses and muses that don’t conform to the male/female binary are always favorites because they deserve more appreciation
6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?
this one was actually hard to answer because like? i don’t know? i write plenty of both, and i feel like i prefer males, but also i think that’s just because of the way males tend to be treated over females? like some of my female muses are That Muse that never goes away, but because females tend to be more ignored or people just don’t read their info it’s never as fun writing them
7. What’s your opinion on call out posts?
sometimes they’re necessary, sometimes they’re not. i don’t really read them? unless it’s a callout that comes across my dash a lot or revolves around someone i know/write with. if it’s a legit predator then i say go off, but if it’s something petty or spiteful i think it just makes all parties involved look kinda bad.
8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.
answered here.
9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?
i have in the past, i don’t really presently. i think sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, and really depends on the fandoms/characters involved. like currently i have lea as my exclusive stiles and earth as my exclusive carol because they have such intense connections to jason and are literally a part of his backstory/canon so it would feel really strange to have another version of that muse come along and try to either fit the dynamic or ignore it. that said i have in the past had exclusives where it felt like i was trapped in it or didn’t get to explore more dynamics because of it, so it can be a win or a lose dependent on the person you’re exclusive with and what they’re like.
10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?
not really, no. i don’t think i’ve ever actually commissioned anyone, and the people who have commissioned me in the past have generally been really nice. there’s been a few times where people really don’t know what they want or change their mind constantly or just ghost before we get anywhere, but mostly it’s been a good experience for me.
11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?
that literally nothing matters. who cares. take as long as you want, remake as much as you want. yes this is a hobby that depends on other people somewhat, but that doesn’t mean that everything you do should revolve around them. take mental health breaks, write in prose, have a super minimalist or super maximalist aesthetic. who gives a shit, this is about having fun.
12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?
answered here.
13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?
answered here.
14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?
oh a huge positive effect on both for sure. there are times that it’s been bad for my mental health, but i’ve also met so many brilliant people and had so much fun doing this. half of my facebook friends list is people i’ve befriended through rp (and yes this is an invite to anyone i talk to a lot to ask for my facebook if u want it)
15. How has rp changed you personally?
i started rping in 2012 when i was 14. rp was my main hyperfixation through high school, with me spending most days in class on tumblr rather than doing work. i shaped my entire life around rp for a long time, and while that was extremely unhealthy it was also a huge formative thing for me. tumblr and roleplaying are so ingrained into who i am at this point, it’s literally changed my life. the friends i made through rp, especially in my high school years, were a life changing thing. i had one or two friends in high school, but i was heavily bullied and widely hated and rp really did save me from really fully sinking into thinking that’s what everyone thought of me
16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?
i think it would mostly just be the accessibility and ease of it? i miss the days where you didn’t have to be mutuals to write, and how it was just so easy to get things going and have meaningless fun. i love my mutuals and i love plotted threads but i truly think there was something so easy about starting a blog and immediately having threads and people to write with. lately tumblr has become a place where it’s so easy to be ignored or feel like no one wants to write with you, and i really miss the days where there was always someone there who wanted to write with you and be friends.
17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?
literally all the time lmao. my positivity blog is 50% me sending myself anons because people very rarely send them in. people follow positivity blogs to hear positivity about themselves but never send any in which makes it difficult. i don’t want to seem like my positivity blog is focused only on my mutuals, but i also don’t have much i can say about non-mutuals without it feeling fake so it’s a rough balance. i also send myself anonymous headcanon questions all the time bc no one else is gonna do it for me
18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?
i think i did once or twice in like 2014 because i was a 16 year old who wanted attention. mostly it was just like i’d posted something that i knew would be controversial in the fandom and wanted to send myself the hate while i had a comeback in mind rather than wait for someone else to say it and feel bad lmao
19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?
i tend to post/address it. it’s a bummer to get anon hate and i know i should delete it but i’ll see it and be like ‘oh everyone thinks this’ so i post it so that everyone can see and be like ‘yeah’ but then they’re like ‘this is bullshit’ and i have a moment of like... oh... people... dont hate me?
20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?
i dont think so, not that i remember at least.
21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?
yeah, a few times. i tend to feel that way less now but i still do it sometimes. i know there’s not really any pressure, but sometimes breaking mutuals with people you don’t click with feels really hard
22. What would make you block someone?
not a lot, really? like not for hard blocks. i’ll softblock when i do unfollow sprees or if we don’t really mesh. i only hardblock people who spam me, personals and like. actual problematic people.
23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?
not that i’m aware of.
24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?
again, not that i’m aware of.
25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?
this doesn’t apply to jason, but generally yeah. it depends on the muse really. im not open to duplicates on beth (multimuses aside) because of how she’s a comfort character for me and i’ve had some Bad Experience with other beths in the past, and theres a few muses i write from smaller fandoms that don’t have duplicates but that i wouldn’t want duplicates for. mostly though im chill.
26. How do you feel about vague posting?
i don’t love it, but i am guilty of it too. sometimes u gotta vague to get things out, but i don’t like vagues where that person is likely to see it? idk i just don’t like vagues but i wont stop you
27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?
sometimes, but not really. i used to do it a lot, but since people are so intense on mutuals only these days i get heaps of anxiety about accidentally liking something when i think we’re mutuals but we’re not
28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?
i try to. a lot of people don’t have mobile friendly info (note that linking to pages on your blog like a /rules or /about isnt actually mobile friendly, you can’t use those links in the app) and i spend a lot of time on mobile, but i usually just wont follow back until i can read them and then i double check rules for triggers and stuff whenever plotting/sending memes/etc.
29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?
i don’t love it and i don’t practice it, but i get it. it sucks to have people reblog things from you without sending, especially headcanon/ooc stuff. i won’t ever force people though, especially with ic stuff, sometimes certain memes just don’t fit and that’s okay.
30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?
probably? i type the same as i talk pretty much, anything you see me type is something i’d say
31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?
i dont think so. generally i google things if i don’t know it.
32. Have you ever experienced discrimination?
not that i’m aware of. i guess people ignoring female ocs and loving male canons might sorta be it, but nothing personal about me no
33. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?
not a fan, tend to block them. personals just tend to get into my shit and rb stuff and it’s annoying. that said, if it’s someone i know from the rp community’s personal they can stay
34. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?
literally all the time. every angsty reply.. i cry so easily
35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?
i read so many other peoples threads, especially people i interact with a lot. i read @unheaven and @aphostate‘s threads like the morning paper i love them
36. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?
i don’t know that anyone really hates things that much?? oh, but 13rw is a big one i guess. the show helped me mentally and i have muses on my multi, but i know the majority of the rpc is very much against it
37. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?
i try to, but i don’t ever really know when exactly things need to be tagged. i use the ‘ask to tag //’ tag a lot for things that im not sure about. generally speaking triggers go untagged unless it’s intense/graphic, but there’s always warnings in my rules about what i don’t tag
38. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?
don’t take it too seriously. it’s a hobby, it’s for fun. these people will not care if you use aesthetic vibes or if you’re a minimalist, they just want your writing. don’t guilt trip people into writing with you, read and respect rules. i don’t know, just treat people how you wanna be treated. rp is a small world, word travels, people know when people are the type to ignore important things.
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