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shirtlesssammy · 4 years

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15x10: The Heroes’ Journey

Then:

Heroes

Now:

Monster Fight Club! RAWR. In one corner we have wolf-man and in the other, we have wraith-woman. I felt like I was watching a Sci-fi channel show or another show on the CW with this opening scene. I have to give it up to the music and cinema of the sequence though. It’s quite lovely, even as the wolf-man gets stabbed to (near) death.

Meanwhile, in tiny Lebanon, Kansas, Dean’s picking up essentials (plus pie magazines) at his local Kwik Trip.

I have many things to say about this. First, who knew Lebanon had such tall buildings in it? And I’ve read many a comment about Bobo getting his name on something, and while YES, that’s technically true, this Kwik Trip (a real regional chain of gas stations/convenience stores in Wisconsin) is also named after the comedian behind The Manitowoc Minute, Charlie Berens. The Open sign missing the ‘n’ is a reference to it as well. Bless Jerry Wanek and his love for his home state. Anyway, Dean’s credit card is declined, his fight or flight instinct kicks in when faced with the store attendant's psoriasis, he gets a toothache, AND he gets a parking ticket.

Sam Fucking I Don’t Need Hotpads Winchester royally messes up dinner by burning the food, dropping the pasta all over the food, and breaking all the plates.

The weirdness continues once Dean gets home. Sam trips when running to greet him and he’s getting a cold.

Dean gets a call from Garth who needs some help. On the road, they discuss their Very Bad Day. Dean thinks they’re cursed. Sam’s too busy sneezing to contribute. I’m surprised Dean didn’t make him sit in the backseat. (Did Dean seem sarcastically unhappy about Cas seeking out angel help? #missinghusbandhour). Then the ultimate travesty happens: Baby breaks down.

They have to walk the last ten miles to Garth’s. When they make it, he welcomes them with open arms (Sam declines the hug but Dean gets one and a compliment -- “You smell so good.”)

Garth was previously feeding his twin baby boys, and he takes them to meet his children. He has a daughter, Gertie, and twin boys, Sam (named after Sam) and...Castiel. Dean is confused and disappointed. I love how there’s no explanation as to why Dean didn’t get a namesake. Natasha wrote a thing though.

Garth then takes them to see why he called. Bess’s cousin is unconscious on Gertie’s bed. He has wraith cuts all over his body.

Dean, the candy eating monster that he is, nabs some candy beans from Gertie’s dresser and Garth notices his pained reaction to eating them. Dean makes note of how nice Garth’s home and life are. (SOFT) Sam sneezes again and Bess tells him she has something to help.

Beth hands Sam her family concoction for helping the common cold. Sam downs it in one go --and instantly has regrets. It’s mostly cayenne pepper. Wherps. Sidenote: Gertie’s little wolf stuffy. All the hearts!

Poor Sam really goes through something --and it is a sight to see. Little Sam and Little Cas are sympathy crying with him and he tries to reassure them that “Big Sam’s okay.” He’s really not.

Garth asks about Dean’s teeth and Dean confesses they’ve hurt since the previous day.

Garth takes Dean to his basement dentist office. It seems he finished getting his dental degree and is now a dentist for other werewolves. “Fang maintenance is a B.” He assesses Dean’s mouth and finds 17 cavities!

He rolls out the nitrous oxide and gets to work. We get to stay with Dean though, AND GOOD FUCKING CHUCK ON A CRACKER.

I can’t explain what I witnessed with my own two eyes. I really, really can’t. @neven-ebrez had a great thread on Twitter that I fully love.

In any event, Dean tap dances to Cole Porter’s Let’s Misbehave. Garth starts showing him the ropes, but then he takes over on his own and starts dancing with a light stick LAMP. He blows a kiss at the lamp and ascends a stairway to heaven the top of the map table and finishes his dance. They dedicated almost 2 minutes to this scene. I --I just. can’t. Also, Dean going for the lamp is timed to line up with the “lovebirds” lyric? I’m so very tired.

Anyway, Dean comes to with a mouth full of gauze, and presumably no cavities.

Everyone reconvenes in the Fitzgerald’s living room. Garth wants to know what’s happening. Sam tells him that they’re kind of on the outs with God. Garth realizes that they’ve been the heroes of Chuck’s stories, and wonders, “what’s that make me? A supporting character? A special guest star?” Garth's happy being the guest star. Being the hero is the worst. Their lives are going to suck until the end. Also, little vanilla couple Garth and Bess apparently love 50 Shades. Lol. Garth points out that the hero never sweats the small stuff because that stuff ruins the story. They’re normal now. (Dean suggests cursed, which, like, lol bud, normal people's lives just suck.)

Bess’s cousin calls for her and they all rush to his side. He doesn’t want to talk to hunters. Sam turns on the ol’ puppy dog eyes and….it does nothing. In fact, Brad can hardly believe that that shtick works at all. Ooof. Bummer, Sammy. Bess digs into the wraith wound to get some answers. And ugh. That was squishy grossness. Brad starts talking about the monster fights though. He tells them where to find the place.

The Winchesters bid Garth farewell. Garth is VERY WORRIED about them. “The old Sam and Dean” could handle a whole warehouse of monsters but the Supernormally Normal boys don’t stand a chance. Dean’s resolute. Fighting monsters, righting wrongs? That’s just who they are. Dean implores Garth to stay home with his wife and kids, and the Winchesters head off.

They arrive at midday outside the arena. Dean polishes off his SEVENTH grilled cheese sandwich and they gather weaponry to storm the place. Sam’s concerned that Garth’s theory that the Winchesters are normal is correct, and they need to take precautions. They gather extra ammo, dead man’s blood, and Dean pulls out his beloved precious weapon.

Upon entering, Sam immediately trips noisily over a bucket and Dean’s grilled cheese extravaganza decides to throw a party right back into his mouth. Dean races for a bathroom, leaving Sam to peruse the room holding the main fight cage.

While Dean is throwing up in the toilet, I desperately try to pretend this isn’t happening. I’m FINE with entrails but upchuck is a hard no, apparently. The bathroom stall opens and one of the monsters from the cold open’s fight night stands there, training Dean’s grenade launcher on him.

Sam and Dean end up locked in the cage-match cage (not to be confused with the CAGE cage). The monster, Cutty, owns the fight club. “Man? Monster? They’re at their best, their most pure, in the heat of competition.” Pardon me while I fake cough “Purgatory” for twenty-five minutes.

Cutty introduces them to their new friend, Maul, a huge monster who grimaces gloomily and flexes his muscles. He wants the Winchesters to fight Maul (together) in the cage match that evening.

Dean tries to tell a story to get out of the situation and I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER. He draws on their legends - the mighty creatures they’ve taken down - and questions whether any MERE monster should even think about trying to attack them. Nobody’s buying what he’s selling.

A short commercial for the upcoming cage match plays. It’s….

AMAZING

All the monsters are gathered around, ready to watch the two mighty cage matches. KILLER WRAITH versus JAMAICA DJINN and MIGHTY MAUL versus THE WINCHESTERS!!!

It’s battle royale time, motherfuckers. When the first fight begins, Dean and Sam are locked up in cells just outside of the ring. “Just how I wanted to die,” Dean grouses. “With a freakin’ audience.” We shall not speak of the 200+ times we have witnessed Dean die on this show.

Dean pulls a nail from the ceiling and proceeds to try to pick the lock. He…fails. Miserably. Sam gives it a try on his lock and neither of them can pick it.

“Could we ever actually pick locks?” Sam asks, frustrated. I’m with others in guessing that both their natural and learned skills have been hugely demoted through Chuck’s interference and this downturn won’t last. But this is a great way to make them doubt themselves. This is the black moment in the hero’s journey - at least for this episode. They’ve never doubted themselves more! Dean delivers a stirring speech anyway. “We’re the best in the world. I say we go out there. We kick some ass.”

Cutty returns to fetch the Winchesters. “Shirts off,” he demands on the way. EYEBALLS EMOJI. But Sam and Dean are gone, the cage doors wide open! The episode rewinds, this time with another point of view. Who’s that lanky man in the floppy-eared hat walking through the crowd? It’s everyone’s favorite werewolf hero, that’s who. Garth frees them by just…BUSTING off the lock.

Outside, Sam and Dean are ready to flee. But Garth has other plans. He whips out a detonator and we get a quick clip show of Garth planting C4 around the club. The club is DECIMATED by fire. Maul survives, however, and strides out of the burning building. Garth goes up against him, but Maul knocks him out. Sam and Dean stand and face Maul, despite their low, low expectations of themselves. Like real damn heroes!

What follows is a HIGHLY comical fight. Sam and Dean do their absolute, precious best, but fortunately the fight seems to be operating on some modified Looney Toons rules.

Garth saves them with a machete through Maul’s head. “You got Garthed!”

Back at Garth’s home, Dean and Sam cradle the babies. “This Cas keeps looking at me weird,” Dean notes. “So kinda like the real Cas,” Sam says. OH SAM. OH SHOW. How we are blessed!

They head out, Dean clutching a bag of grilled cheese sandwiches from Bess. Sam and Dean thank Garth for saving them and call him a hero. Excuse me while I CRY FOR FIVE MINUTES this is so soft. “I guess I learned from the best,” Garth returns. Garth gives them a tip - a place in Alaska where you can go when your luck’s run bad. “There’s always a catch,” Garth warns.

They hug!

“You don’t smell so bad yourself,” Dean notes when he hugs Garth. “It’s Hai Karate,” Garth says. Guys. I love them.

Werewolves of London plays us out. Garth and Bess dance together through the window as the Winchesters get into the Impala. It’s. So. Precious. And. Warm.

“I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be,” Dean muses. Sam admits that Dean’s good at the Macarena. Ah, yes. My generation!

Dean and Sam reflect on their situation. Their lives are far from normal, so being “normal” is dangerous by its very nature. They need as many advantages as possible, so it’s time for a road trip to Alaska!

The music mounts dramatically! Triumphantly! It’s time to ride into the sunset!

Baby sputters out. “Son of a bitch!” Dean shouts as the screen fades to black.

Natasha: I can tell you IMMEDIATELY and WITHOUT RESERVATION that this episode is going to be on my short list of comfort rewatches for all eternity. <3

Werewolves of Quotedom:

Seriously?

Still a hugger, huh?

You smell so good!

You’re very strong

Fang maintenance is a B

Mommy, the giant’s crying!

I wanna be the guest star. Being the hero sucks.

You need a colonoscopy STAT

Just because God yanked the magic horseshoe out of our ass, doesn’t mean we’re gonna give up

I’m a growing boy!

I think you might be lactose intolerant now

You keep all your friends in a cage?

You know them. You don’t like them. The WINCHESTERS

You are SO STRONG

C4, a hunter’s best friend

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn 15x10 #the heroes journey #dean winchester #sam winchester #garth #supernatural season 15

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Free Falling, Chapter 8: Bring the Bitter Taste to a Halt (Branjie) - writworm42

A/N: Thank you holtzmanns for beta-ing! Title taken from Sweetener by Ariana Grande.

Last chapter: Brooke & Vanessa finally get together, thanks to some good old hijinks & tomfoolery from the others on the unit.

This chapter: Brooke & Vanessa go on their first date.

The Royale Diner was by no means the most romantic place in the city. Heck, it probably wasn’t the most romantic place in the intersection,not since that couple had gotten married in the McDonalds across the street last month. But if you asked Vanessa, it had the best comfort food in the world - and there was no better first date to her than sharing soul food with someone that very well could be her soulmate. And that night, when Vanessa caught a glimpse at Brooke’s face as she led her through the plexiglass doors, Vanessa knew that she had made the right choice.

It wasn’t every woman she took out who stared at the diner’s decor in awe before they were even through the plexiglass doors, mesmerized by their reflections the classic checkerboard floors and the glossy red finishes on the vinyl booth couches. It wasn’t every woman whose face lit up in admiration when the waitress came by and offered Vanessa her favourite table and a coffee on the house before they’d even finished saying hello. And it wasn’t every woman who ordered banana pancakes with such enthusiasm she almost broke the table when she slammed the menu shut determinately, blushing deeply when the waitress joked that she’d always known Vanessa liked women who knew what they wanted.

Nor was it every woman who stole pretty much all the fried chicken off of Vanessa’s plate without so much as a sheepish apology, but hey, it wasn’t every woman from whom Vanessa would allow it.

Vanessa wasn’t sure she could put her finger on it, but there was something different about their conversation as they ate. The topics were pretty much the same—their families, different dance competitions, how frustrating anti-vaxx campaigners were—but their tone was lighter, more cheerful, full of giggles and bashful pauses and looks stolen when they thought the other wasn’t looking. It was nice; for once, Vanessa didn’t have to wonder if Brooke’s lingering gaze was because she’d done something wrong, and there was no need for her own heart to quicken with anxiety every time Brooke caught her staring. For once, Vanessa didn’t feel pressure to draw out their contact for as long as possible, afraid to let the other woman go.

“You know, I’m really glad you’re gettin’ to know the kids.” Vanessa took advantage of a lull in conversation, thinking back to the card Brooke had given her. There was no way, thinking about it now, that Brooke had cut it herself, despite the cursive message scrawled there. Really, the jagged lines and safety scissor-crushed edges seemed much more characteristic of Monet, so much so that Vanessa wondered if Brooke had helped her make it. After all, Brooke had been spending more time with the families, trying to discern what they liked and didn’t like, what she could cut or move around or bring to the board to prove the unit was doing well. And Monet was exactly the kind of personality Brooke would love, confident and clever and eclectic, never anyone but herself.

In fact, in Vanessa’s opinion, Brooke probably needed to be around kids like Monet more often, to realize that she could be all those ways, too.

“Yeah, the focus groups have been going really well.” Brooke nodded enthusiastically. “I’m learning a lot.”

“I’m glad, but that’s not what I mean.” Vanessa chuckled, “I mean the rec programs–it’s really cool you sat in with Monet to help her cut the card you gave me.”

Brooke’s fork froze halfway to her mouth.

“Card?” her mouth dropped open mid-chew in disbelief, “I didn’t give you a card.”

“Well, your Valentine,” Vanessa rolled her eyes, “But it’s the same thing, really.”

“No, I–Vanessa, I didn’t get you a Valentine.” Brooke frowned. Realizing the implication of what she’d said, she looked back up at Vanessa in a panic, words tumbling from her mouth as she added, “That’s not to say I don’t like you! I like you so much, like, like you, that’s why I wanted to take you up on your offer of your date! I swear, I was so happy, it’s just that I didn’t think you’d be okay if I made the first–”

“Whoa, hold on, Mary!” Vanessa waved a hand to catch Brooke’s attention, confusion the only thing suppressing the laugh bubbling inside her throat. “What you mean, my offer of a date? You came to me .”

“But… Your card. The Valentine on my desk.” Brooke blinked, staring blankly at the woman across from her.

“Mama, there was no Valentine.” Vanessa shook her head.

There was a beat, the wheels turning in both of their heads, before the cogs finally clicked together.

“Oh my God, I’m gonna kill Nina.” Brooke laughed loudly, Vanessa unable to resist joining in.

“Well, I mean, all that shit they was tryin’ to pull finally worked, I guess.” Vanessa grinned, her heart swelling at the beaming smile that was still radiating off of Brooke, the blonde’s shoulders shaking with little chuckles as she tried and failed to calm down.

“I swear to God, it’s like elementary school again.” Brooke shook her head as the two finally settled, and Vanessa gave a little laugh, unable to do anything but agreed.

Those girls were all fucking nightmares, but God bless them for helping her experience such a wonderful dream as the woman sitting across from her, sipping her coffee over a wry, yet still giddy smile.

Unfortunately, dreams never did last, and so once the humour of the situation finally dissipated, the two were left in silence, the mention of the hospital and all it implied falling heavy over the air in the booth.

“Quarter’s coming up.” Vanessa prompted quietly.

“Yeah.” Brooke nodded, causing a twinge of remorse to sear through Vanessa’s chest when she noticed how suddenly the colour seemed to drain from the other woman’s face at the comment.

“You’re gonna be okay.” Vanessa reached across the table and gave Brooke’s hand a squeeze.

“Yeah.” Brooke’s face faltered briefly, her voice hollow, and Vanessa felt her heart crush. Their plates were empty now, and if Vanessa knew anything about Brooke, it was that the minute they left the restaurant, she’d be back en route into the hospital to try and do more work. She couldn’t let that happen; things couldn’t end that way. Not tonight.

Brooke deserved so much more than that.

“You wanna go see a movie?” the idea popped into Vanessa’s head at random, but she let it come out without hesitation; there was no time to think of another one, and anyway, there was a movie theatre not far from the diner that plays old family movies, and there was bound to be a romantic one playing for Valentine’s day.

“Yeah.” Brooke nodded, a reassured and grateful smile spreading across her face, and Vanessa breathed out a little, knowing she’d made the right choice.

—

As it turned out, there were no romantic movies playing at the Black Hole Cinema Club that night. Apparently the owner had just broken up with her girlfriend, meaning that the only movie playing was one chosen at random from the theatre’s Family Fun Night archives. As a result, less than thirty minutes later, Brooke and Vanessa sat munching on a large bag of popcorn as the opening credits of Daddy Daycare began to roll. Vanessa had never minded the movie; it was cute, and had some genuinely funny scenes. This time, though, she watched with a growing interest.

The second half of the movie involved the threat of cuts. The threat was responded to with a fundraiser, one that worked even better than needed for the daycare to succeed. A happy ending for all except the asshole trying to take the daycare down.

It was just a movie; real life didn’t work like that. But still, even after the movie had ended, the fundraiser scenes stuck in Vanessa’s mind.

It was crazy. It was foolish. It probably wouldn’t work.

But it also might, and for the unit, for Brooke , Vanessa was willing to take that chance.

The only snag in the plan was Brooke herself. After an hour or so of scheming and scribbling out plans on paper, exchanging texts with Silky, A’Keria, and the others, she realized with a jolt that she had never actually brought up the plan with Brooke, who was arguably the most important player in the whole operation. No, she had to get clearance first–it was only right, after all of Brooke’s hard work. She was about to pick up her phone and call the other woman, when suddenly, a thought froze her finger before she could dial.

If Vanessa’s plan did get put into action, it would take a tremendous amount of work, work that Brooke would no doubt try to take on almost entirely by herself. Vanessa could all too easily imagine Brooke losing entire nights of sleep applying for permits, calling vendors, and climbing into bed at 2 AM only to stay awake the rest of the night worrying.

The plan might keep the unit afloat, but Vanessa just couldn’t bring herself to drown Brooke in the process.

She put down the phone and continued planning, deciding that she would tell Brooke once things were more firmly in place.

–

If there’s one thing that Vanessa learned from her years as an occupational therapist, it was that whenever you’re getting ready to do something, you need to hope for the best but plan for the worst.

In this case, the worst came crashing through during rounds the next morning, and it was definitely something Vanessa hadn’t prepared for.

Everything started out normal; as planned, Vanessa told everyone to meet her a half-hour early for rounds so that they could talk fundraising. As planned, everyone showed up ready to get to work.

Unfortunately, what she hadn’t planned was for Brooke to see everyone going the same way into the meeting room, chattering excitedly. What she hadn’t planned was for Brooke to wonder what was going on, for the blonde to let herself think that maybe people were still talking about the date from yesterday. What she hadn’t planned was for Brooke to be in such a good mood that she thought she’d follow everyone in, catching them right in the middle of planning.

What she hadn’t planned was for Nina to have too much integrity to lie when Brooke asked what was going on.

And she certainly, definitely hadn’t planned for Brooke to be incredibly mad.

Vanessa had been on the receiving end of Brooke’s workplace-appropriate anger to know that when Brooke was upset, she didn’t yell or rage. Instead, she stood up even taller, let her smile fall flat, and made her voice go quietly, terrifyingly formal.

“Vanessa, may I please see you outside?” Brooke’s voice was quiet, but her gaze was pointed at Vanessa with a fire that Vanessa didn’t think she’d ever seen, one that made her shut up and follow Brooke out into the hallway without another word.

“Is this some kind of a joke to you?” The door had barely closed before Brooke turned on Vanessa, her rage now finally starting to spill out as she hissed, “I told you not to tell anyone!”

“It’s alright, though, they don’t blame you–”

“Shut up.” Brooke snapped, pure vitriol coating her voice. Vanessa blinked, the words taking a few moments to process before setting her crumbling.

Brooke had never spoken to her like that before. Even when she’d talked back, even when she’d been a bit of a jerk, Brooke had always been patient, at most putting up a hand and telling her to let her finish.

“You broke my trust.” Brooke continued, “I told you not to tell anyone, and you broke my trust. I told you I didn’t want people to worry, it was my business anyway–”

“Whoa whoa, slow down, Mary!” Vanessa snapped to, the comment bringing her back to her usual stubborn attention. “This ain’t just ‘your business’ here. Everyone could lose their job. You ain’t even care, you was gonna fire half of us a few months ago anyway–”

Now it was Brooke’s turn to be taken aback. “Fire… Oh, for God’s sake, Vanessa! That was different, and I wouldn’t even think of it now!”

“Well, if you’d just listen, you’d know that–”

“Hey, guys?” both of them stopped talking when Nina poked her head out of the meeting room, a worried frown on her face. “Listen, we couldn’t help but overhear, and we just wanted to let you know, Brooke, Vanjie only came to us because she had this idea for a fundraiser–”

“Go back inside, Nina.” Brooke put her face in her hands, her voice finally evening out. The calm was short-lived, though; once Nina had retreated back into the meeting room, Brooke turned back to Vanessa with a renewed fire, one that was even more intense than before.

“Brooke, listen–”

“No, Vanessa.” Brooke shook her head. “God, you’re really something else, you know that? Not only do you tell everyone something I told you not to, but you decide it’s perfectly fine to just undermine all my hard work–”

Her hard work?

Oh, no. Absolutely not.

“Now, listen, bitc–coin. Bitcoin. Listen. You ain’t the only one workin’ hard. Don’t you come up here actin’ like you ain’t the only one scared or the only one who cares! I ain’t do nothing but try to help, the least you could say is thank you!”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Brooke gave a hollow laugh. “It’s not about the fundraiser, or about how this feels. It’s about the fact that I trusted you, Vanessa. And I shouldn’t have.”

Vanessa said nothing; deep down, she knew she should, but she couldn’t. Not just then, when she was this angry.

Besides, she didn’t really have the chance–a second had barely passed before Brooke was walking away.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #free falling #lesbian au #hospital au #writworm42

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mezzomercury · 5 years

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Bohemian Rhapsody in Blue Chapter Four: Thank God It’s Christmas

A/N: I know it’s not close to Christmas at all, but I thought it would be cute to have something centered around it.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Pregnancy, brief mention of alcohol, near panic attack

**************

December 25, 1985

The Garden Lodge

London. United Kingdom

Christmas Day at the Garden Lodge was always a day of elaborate gifts, celebrations, and all around merriment, but this year’s holiday was particularly special for a number of reasons: The first reason was that it was Freddie and Jim’s first Christmas with their new surrogate mother-turned-friend Nadia, who had been living with them since the beginning of the third trimester of her pregnancy. The second, since Nadia was Jewish, was that this would be her first real Christmas, previously spending the day with her family by going to the cinema since the theaters were almost always empty on this particular day of the year. The third and final reason that made this year’s holiday so special was that it would be Freddie and Jim’s final one before their daughter was born next month, January 23rd, as predicted by their doctor. The couple did everything they could to make Nadia feel welcome in their home, as they insisted she live with them, arguing that she was far too pregnant to be living on her own as she normally had been before. While she didn’t want to cause any inconvenience to them or bother them in any way, she agreed to stay at the Garden Lodge up until the baby arrived, knowing that they were nervous fathers-to-be and they genuinely cared about her well-being.

The winter holiday celebrations at the Mercury-Hutton household commenced two weeks ago. This was a bit earlier than usual, for Freddie and Jim tried to make Nadia feel more at home by celebrating Hanukkah, much to her surprise and appreciation. On the first night, Nadia came home after a full day of teaching private lessons to the sight of Phoebe and Jim trying their best at cooking a chicken tagine along with sfenj (traditional Moroccan Hanukkah doughnuts), and a bronze, antique menorah she had never seen before placed in the center of the table. She chuckled upon noticing it, knowing that it’s traditionally supposed to be placed by a window, but the effort that her four new housemates had gone through was nothing short of impressive. Due to her out of control hormones all thanks to pregnancy, she then broke down crying. Jim, who was within earshot of the scene, immediately ran to her side, concerned that she was upset by it or she didn’t like it.

“Of course I love it. It’s just…...no one has never been this kind to me before,” she choked out in between sobs, “Thank you, all of you. I’m truly blessed that the four of you are in my life.”

The rest of the night was spent with Nadia showing Freddie, Jim, Phoebe, and Joe her family’s Hanukkah traditions, eating an exquisite Moroccan dinner, exchanging gifts, and sitting around by the fireplace having fun conversation. The quintet carried on like this for the next seven nights, truly enjoying a holiday that the majority of them had never celebrated before.

Now it was Christmas, a holiday that Freddie did not skimp out on with any expenses or details. Although it wasn’t a wild party like he typically threw per se, he still planned a celebration as if the Garden Lodge were Buckingham Palace. The family of five had just finished opening gifts by the tree, and were now doing last minute preparations before guests arrived. It wouldn’t be a particularly large affair, just the other members of Queen, their families, Miami, Mary and her new boyfriend, and Freddie’s younger sister Kashmira. Still, Freddie decorated the house from head to toe, wanting it to be an extravagant day, even though it would be more family-oriented.

Nadia was currently sitting on the chaise lounge in the drawing room, as instructed by Freddie, who nearly had a heart attack upon witnessing her try to help Joe in tidying up.

“The baby will slip out of you and onto the floor if you’re not careful, darling!” Freddie playfully scolded her as he practically scooped her up in his arms and brought her to the chaise.

The singer was evidently in full-blown panic mode since Nadia started her ninth and final month of pregnancy. She could tell by his crazed look in his eyes that he hadn’t slept at all the previous night, but he was still as chipper and excited for the festivities as ever. As she sat down and watched the commotion going through the house, she involuntarily rested a hand on her belly, trying to calm the restless baby inside her. Her mind wandered off to what the house would be like a year from now. There would be a little eleven-month-old girl crawling, maybe even walking around then, no doubt receiving grandiose gifts from her fathers for her first Christmas. It was hard to believe that this is what the near future had in store, but that little girl would be here in a few weeks, whether everyone was ready or not.

Upon getting lost in her imagination, Nadia suddenly pondered a big question that never crossed her mind before: What about me? Where will I be a year from now? She hadn’t really thought ahead about what she will do after she gives birth. Of course, she would still perform and teach privately, and even had a couple of auditions lined up not too long after her due date. She even had an audition last month to play in the pit orchestra of the Royal Opera House. The poor woman went to her audition, eight months pregnant and carrying a cello on her back, nearly fainting after having to climb up only two flights of stairs. The audition itself was fine, but she wouldn’t hear from them for a while, and she figured that it was most likely that they wouldn’t offer her a position, or if they did, it would be out of pity due to her condition. That’s not how she wanted to get ahead in her career. The main thing Nadia was thinking about when she had the question What about me? was in regards to the friendships she had made over the past nine months. Although she was their surrogate, Freddie and Jim had grown so near and dear to her, and the feeling was absolutely mutual. In the beginning of this whole adventure, Nadia promised herself that she wouldn’t become emotionally attached, neither to the baby or to the couple that she was carrying it for. That, however, became increasingly difficult to live up to, as Freddie and Jim treated her like total royalty and their friendship seemed to become closer and closer as days went by. She’d like to think that even if circumstances had been different, they still would have a very special bond, baby or not. Alas, she had to remind herself that she was just providing them with a service, and she’d most likely have to pick up her life where she left off once she gave birth, living as though the past nine months never happened.

Nadia’s endless thoughts were interrupted when Phoebe came to the chaise and sat down beside her, offering her a cup of herbal tea, which she graciously accepted. She continued watching Freddie scramble around, frustrating himself further and further over the most minute details.

“Does he act like this every year?” she asked Phoebe as she sipped her tea. The question caused him to chuckle,

“Yes, but this is the most panicked I’ve seen him since I’ve known him,” he paused before looking at her, “I think it’s because it’s technically your first Christmas, and he wants to make sure it’s extra special for you.”

This caused Nadia to sigh, surprisingly enough, as she was still thinking about her future.

“And probably my last.” she muttered under her breath.

She wasn’t quite sure if Phoebe had heard her, as he got up and took back her cup once she was done with it. Tiffany, one of Freddie and Jim’s many cats, pounced up onto the spot where Phoebe previously had been sitting, and crawled over onto Nadia’s lap, subtly guarding the tiny human growing inside her womb. Nadia spent the next couple of minutes scratching behind the cat’s furry ears before cooing,

“You’re already very protective of your little sister, aren’t you girl?”

Tiffany, of course, couldn’t respond verbally, but started purring as if she understood.

Whilst Nadia was lost in thought again, this time stroking Tiffany on her lap in a semi-hypnotic pattern, Freddie pranced up to her, accidentally startling the poor woman.

“Sorry, darling. It’s just me!” Laughing as she yelped, he handed her a delicately wrapped box, “I had this upstairs and somehow I forgot to put it under the tree. It’s another gift from Jim and me.”

Nadia studied the elegant wrapping paper and the fine ribbon before Freddie requested with impatient excitement,

“Go ahead, open it!”

Carefully unwrapping the box and opening it, she gasped as soon as she caught a glimpse of what was inside. She carefully pulled the fabric out of the package to reveal a floor-length, red velvet gown with long sleeves. Her jaw felt completely unhinged from her body and her eyes were permanently wide. It took her a couple seconds before she could find the right words to say.

“Freddie, this is way too beautiful beyond words. I don’t know if I can accept this.”

“Nonsense, darling!” scoffed Freddie, “My daughter’s mum should have the absolute best of everything. I got it from Princess Di’s personal designer. Like I said, you deserve the best.”

He seemed to ramble on, wanting to convince Nadia to accept the gift. As he kept listing the multiple reasons why she deserved it at a rapid fire speed, she suddenly cut him off,

“Thank you so much, Fred. You and Jim have been way too kind to me.”

He smiled as he watched her hug the dress close to her before saying,

“Try it on, lovie. What else were you planning on wearing today?”

She looked up at him in question, not before looking down at her midsection, noticing how much it looked like she was hiding a watermelon under her jumper.

“Will it even fit me?” she asked him, earning a chuckle from him in response,

“Of course it will, darling. I made sure of it.”

She rose up to her feet with Freddie’s assistance and went into her bedroom to try on the dress, feeling nervous about how it would look on her.

As Nadia emerged from her bedroom to reveal her new outfit that fit and suited her perfectly, Freddie and Jim stood at her doorway and cheered as they saw how stunning she looked in it, showering her in endless compliments.

“I told you she’d look breathtaking in it, Jim dear, didn’t I?” Freddie asked his husband.

“Yes, yes, dear, but I already knew she would. She looks beautiful as always.” Jim answered.

Blushing and yet still self-conscious about her ever changing figure, Nadia asked them,

“Are you sure I don’t look like a beached whale?” to which Freddie scoffed and replied,

“Not at all, darling. You are a fierce tigress, and don’t you ever think otherwise.” as he approached her, kissing her cheek and placing a hand on her belly. “The little cub seems to think so, too.” he chortled, referring to their baby who had not stopped tossing and turning in her confined space since earlier this morning.

“I think she’s excited. She’s been sticking her feet in my rib cage all day and won’t stop.” Nadia told the couple, both of them smiling in response.

Before she knew it, they whisked her away back into her bedroom to help with her hair and makeup, something she didn’t even think about doing on account of how exhausted she was, leaving Phoebe and Joe to do the rest of the grunt work around the house.

Almost immediately after Freddie and Jim were finished with pampering their surrogate, the doorbell rang, and upon Phoebe answering it, everyone who was invited seemed to pour into the Garden Lodge in seemingly all at once. The trio in Nadia’s bedroom ran to the entrance and exchanged greetings, hugs, and kisses en masse with all of their guests. Nadia was rather overwhelmed, but was saved by Phoebe, who somehow managed to find her in the sea of people and have her sit back in the living room.

“Don’t worry, they’ll all come to you.” he whispered to her as he helped her sit down, hoping that for Freddie and Jim’s sake she wouldn’t leave that spot too often.

Just like he said, everyone seemed to eventually gravitate towards the expectant mother, bombarding her with questions about how she and the baby were faring, complimenting her on her new dress, and offering any sort of help that she may need to get through the day. Little Joshua Deacon, Deaky and Veronica’s youngest child at two years old, immediately hugged his former nanny as tightly as he could and plopped down onto her lap, having no intention of detaching himself from her anytime soon.

The party seemed to go by in a blur to Nadia, who more or less remained seated on the chaise the entire time, with the exception of getting up to pee, something that happened quite often. Everyone in the house would not let her stand up, especially Freddie and Jim, who insisted that they bring everything to her. It was slightly irritating, but she appreciated that so many people were concerned for her. The only time that Nadia got up other than to pee was when Freddie wanted to take a photograph of her and Dominique, Roger’s long-time partner, together comparing their baby bumps. Dominique was of course pregnant with her and Roger’s second child, but was only about four months along, making Nadia feel gigantic when she stood next to the considerably petite woman. Other than that, she observed Freddie gradually becoming piss-drunk from eggnog, several children running around chasing the cats while a couple others gathered around her to poke and prod at her tummy, asking a lot of questions about their new “cousin;” Kash, Freddie’s sister, and Mary assigned themselves the task of helping Nadia with anything she needed, especially bringing over food and water from the kitchen. At one point, Deaky and Miami herded all the children together into the living room to present Father Christmas, although really Jim in disguise, who gave the little ones an endless amount of gifts. This part of the celebration called for a lot of photo opportunities, including one with an incredibly drunk Roger sitting on Santa Jim’s lap, much to the latter’s discomfort. The festivities seemed to wrap up rather late in the evening, when Freddie gathered everyone around the piano to sing Christmas songs together. Most of the adults were quite tipsy by then, and would occasionally have difficulty remembering some of the words to some of the more easier songs. Nadia wasn’t all too familiar with any of the carols, so she watched in amusement at the chaotic scene in front of her. Jim sat next to her during all of this, letting her rest her head on his shoulder, though he was still dressed up as Father Christmas. Before any of the children got too tired, Brian did the annual tradition of reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas to them beside the tree, with Jim helping before he pretended to depart for the North Pole, meaning change back into his regular clothes.

It was now eleven o’clock at night, and the majority of guests had already departed, the only who stayed behind was Kash, as she would stay the night here out of her brother’s concern for her safety. She had already retired to one of the guest rooms, admittedly having had too much wine during the party. Phoebe and Joe had finally finished cleaning up after the party and were on the sofa sharing a bottle of much-deserved port. Nadia and Jim were both sitting side by side on the other sofa. Last but certainly not least there was Freddie, who was now close to crashing from a combination of tiredness and intoxication, splayed out across both of their laps, laughing hysterically at some wiseacre remark made by Joe, though Nadia didn’t remember what it was. Freddie seemed to calm down as she gently scratched the back of his neck, sighing contently as he looked up at her glowing face.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are, darling.” Freddie managed to slur, making the woman blush furiously.

“No really, I mean it. I really hope that Liza looks like you. And perhaps Jim, of course.” he remarked, bringing one hand to her belly.

Jim looked on and leaned over to give his husband a kiss. Witnessing such a tender moment between the two made Nadia tear up instantaneously. Damn these hormones, she thought to herself before the couple before her were concerned by her perceived sadness.

“You two are going to be the most perfect fathers.” she sobbed, trying to wipe away her tears.

Jim then gave her a big bear hug and muttered,

“I’m glad you think so. As you can tell, we’re getting rather nervous.”

Nadia nodded and chuckled, glancing over at Freddie, whose mood drastically changed, seemingly remembering that he would become a father in just a few short weeks.

Without warning, Freddie sprung up and started pacing nervously, as though he was trying to gather his scattered thoughts. Due to the fact that he was still quite drunk, he stumbled around a bit, trying to keep his balance even though his head was spinning. Nadia didn’t really know what had gotten into him; nevertheless she tried to get up to comfort him, but Jim motioned her to stay seated and got up instead, approaching his husband and taking both of his hands in his own. She couldn’t tell exactly what was going on, but saw that Jim was whispering something inaudible to her in Freddie’s ear, which made him relax a bit more and kiss the Irishman in gratitude. Not wanting to interrupt the moment between the two, she leaned back into the sofa, still watching to make sure everything was alright. The room was now almost dead silent, save for whatever Jim was whispering to Freddie. Phoebe and Joe had paused whatever they were conversing about to look on as well, but they knew that this was just Jim helping Freddie prevent an unanticipated anxiety attack. Joe caught Nadia’s eye from across the room and nodded to her in reassurance, silently telling her that everything was fine, as she had never seen Freddie in such a state before.

This went on for about ten minutes or so, and Freddie eventually went back to his normal self, sitting back down in emotional exhaustion. Nadia, who was next to him, gestured him to lie back down with his head in her lap, which he accepted the invitation for, resting his head on the curve of her massive baby bump and lightly stroking it once he got comfortable. Jim sat down next to the two and put a blanket over Freddie, knowing there was a high possibility of him falling asleep there soon. As he took deep breaths through his nose and out of his mouth, Freddie continued rubbing Nadia’s belly as if he were in a trance, knowing that feeling his daughter move around beneath his hand would soothe him a bit.

“I’m sorry if I worried you, darling.” He said to Nadia after a while, “It’s just becoming more real, you know?”

She nodded in acknowledgement.

“I know. I’m doing fine, but I think the little Eliza’s got the hiccups. She was awfully concerned there.” she quipped as she felt sporadic little flutters coming from her womb.

Freddie chuckled and moved in closer to speak to her bump, all while in constant amazement,

“There there, little love. It’s alright, Daddy’s here. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

He placed a gentle kiss on her belly, something he had never done before, but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. Nadia ran her fingers through his hair as he yawned.

“She’s so lucky to have you as her dad,” she added before looking up at Jim next to them, “and you as her Papa.”

“And we’re infinitely lucky to have you, dear.”

Jim reciprocated the compliment and watched as his husband started to drift off.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get up before he falls asleep completely and uses you as a pillow?” he asked, getting up about to wake up his fading husband. “

No, I’ll be fine.” Nadia assured him.

Jim shrugged in response before kissing Nadia’s temple and leaving the room to feed the cats.

“Happy Christmas, dear.” he whispered before sauntering off.

Now it was just Nadia and Freddie alone by the fireplace, as Phoebe and Joe had left go go outside for a smoke a while ago. Freddie was fast asleep already. It was amusing to Nadia how energetic he usually was, but now he slept like a baby in her lap. She took a moment to look over at the elegant Christmas tree a few feet away, and then at the roaring fireplace. Feeling content and without worry, Nadia looked down at her belly and started rubbing it involuntarily.

And to think that little baby would take her first steps in this very room in exactly a year from this day…

****************

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putschki1969 · 6 years

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All About Hikaru’s Otaku Activities Vol. 4 ~ Translation

All About Hikaru’s Otaku Activities Vol.4 Reflecting upon the arts of autumn “Entertainment that reaches people’s hearts”

In this column Kalafina’s Hikaru talks passionately about the geeky things she loves. The fourth edition follows Hikaru’s recent outings related to the arts of autumn and she shares what she is currently into

Newcomers and old acquaintances alike, welcome to the fourth edition of my casual column “All About Hikaru’s Otaku Activities”! In the first edition I introduced myself so those who are new to this webseries please be sure to check it out ♪ (can be found here!)

During the summer time there are lots of game events taking place, this summer the creators of 『Fate/Grand Order』launched a quite difficult event. (Btw, right now there is a 『Fate/Zero』 evet taking place)

On top of that, there are many movies released during the sumemr holiday season so I went to the cinema quite a lot compared to other seasons. I went to see “My Hero Academia: Two Heroes”, “Mirai no Mirai“ and “The Seven Deadly Sins the Movie: Prisoners of the Sky”. I watched many other movies too but those are the anime films I had watched when I started writing this column.

Speaking of movies, September 21 is the release day of “Before the Coffee Gets Cold” and since I was very curious about it I read the novel that the film is based on.

It is a story about a coffee shop with a special seat, if you use that seat you will be transported back in time to a moment of your choice. However, there are many conditions to your time travel: No matter what you do, you can’t change the present. You can’t change seats. If you leave your seat you will come back to the present. You return once your coffee has turned cold and you have to finish it before your return.

There are more troublesome rules like that but there are still many people who visit the coffee shop because they wish to travel back in time.

It is all about reflecting upon the things you want to cherish, it’s about feeling the strength to move forward. It’s incredibly moving. Reading it in public proves to be quite difficult because you won’t be able to hold back your tears.

When the movie is released I will definitely go and see it.

Well, it is September. Autumn. In the spirit of the arts of autumn I visited the Ghibli Museum Mitaka!

There were so many exhibits inside the museum but unfortunately photography wasn’t allowed inside so I was only able to take pictures in the outside area. Among all the exhibits my favourite was “Where a Film is Born”, in these rooms you can see all the work that is put into the creation of a movie by all involved parties.

For me it was a very special place because I was able to see how these amazing animes have come into existence.

Carefully drawing all these little details yet needing countless pictures to create even the finest of motions, one has to work really fast. “An animator can’t just be a good artist, he has to work fast.” These words really left a lasting impression on me.

In this place you realise that even though the drawing technique seems so natural, these people are constantly challenging themselves by battling against time.

Creators like that will never give up, they will stay committed until the very end to reach their ideals. That’s how they are able to bring something so amazing to life. I was deeply moved by realising once again that there are people out there who have those skills and who are able to achieve all of that.

There are also corners where scenery and background pictures are being displayed. It felt very nostalgic, these beautifully drawn worlds, so clear and yet blurry like a dream. I want to enter these worlds and experience all they offer. Personally I really enjoyed looking at these pictures and wondering about the people and animals living there, about life and its stories.

From the moment you enter the Studio Ghibli Museum you will be swept away by the charm of all the Ghibli works. There’s just endless excitement to be found in this place.

Going to places you have never been to. Seeing things you have not seen before. Doing things you have never done before.

In this world there are so many things to learn and to discover. Depending on your choices your way of using time will change greatly.

Recently I often find myself blessed with the company of great people. Those gentle and warm-hearted people have kindly taken me along and got me to leave my home. When I open my door I come across all these things I do not know, I discover new things, I get to see and experience them. It’s a lot of fun.

One thing I got to disover recently are board games. My hobbies haven’t changed at all since the old days but I think now I have finally found something new that I am obsessed with.

Puzzles, LEGO, video games, mobile games, I have loved all of these ever since I was a small child...and even though they are all different I think they have one thing in common, they make you have fun by keeping your mind on edge.

With board games you constantly have to come up with new strategies, while moving forward you have to keep your opponents in mind. It’s a unique pleasure that cannot be enjoyed alone.

So far I have played 『Splendor』where you become a peddler of fancy jewelry, 『AZUL』 which has such a nice title, 『Blokus』a strategy game, 『Auf den Spuren von Marco Polo』 which is all about peddling and travelling and 『/PENGUIN PARTY』 which is just super cute.

And the fun doesn’t stop once the game is over. Yes you feel like, “ahh, that was a lot of fun!” but you also immediately think, “let’s do this again soon!” You think about all the smart moves your opponent made and you just want to play again....it’s very addicting! But since you can’t do it alone things stay moderated and you will never overdo it, that’s the advantage of board games.

...even though I go out more these days I still end up being addicted to indoor acitivities *laughs*

And I did something else

I went to a place that was all about “shining things”.

『teamLab★Planets TOKYO DMM.com@Toyosu』 is an event where everyone has to enter with their bare feet in order to fully experience all the sensations. I have never done something like this before, I was a bit perplexed but walking barefoot like that remined me a lot of my childhood. It felt like my body had become part of the artwork.

Experiencing that kind of entertainment is very similar to what I feel when I sing or when I do lives. I want people who come to see me experience everything with their heart and soul. I feel like this strong wish will reach people’s hearts.

At any rate, it was a very exciting yet profound experience.

Well, until next time!

♪Hikaru♪

Ohhhhh, that book/movie Hikaru is talking about sounds SO interesting. Will have to check it out!

Last time I asked if any of you could guess which of Hikaru’s anime recs caught my attention. Here’s the reveal 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

＼（＾▽＾）／Banana Fish＼（＾▽＾）／

I am totally hooked. I love it. Thanks for the great rec, Hikaru!

#kalafina #hikaru #otaku #all about hikaru's otaku activities #teamlab #before the coffee gets cold #pika-chan so cute #this was a very nice column

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thegloober · 6 years

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The Other Side of the Wind

In Jean-Luc Godard’s 1968 film “La Chinoise,” one of the characters, Kirilov, announces, “L’art ne pas le reflet du réel, mais le reel de ce reflet.” Which translates as “Art is not the reflection of reality, it’s the reality of the reflection.” In “The Other Side of the Wind,” a film shot in the years between 1970 and 1976 and later (only partially) edited by Orson Welles, a character named Mr. Pister, a very young, whippet thin and presumably callow square of a film critic—played, not coincidentally, by Joseph McBride, who would go on to become, besides a fine critic and scholar in general, one of the key voices keeping Welles’ often misunderstood legacy alive—asks its bete noire-legendary director figure, Jake Hannaford, “Is the camera eye a reflection of reality or is reality a reflection of the camera eye?”

This citation of Godard sounds more like a piss-take when Pister continues “or is the camera merely a phallus?” This is meant to sound ridiculous, and it does, and yet the more you reflect on what’s actually in “The Other Side of the Wind,” the more the idea of that camera as phallus — or at least as impotent phallus desperate to achieve tumescence and usurp the passive voyeur status of the eye/lens —gains currency. Among other things, this picture from the director of “Citizen Kane,” “The Magnificent Ambersons,” “Touch of Evil” and several other masterpieces both mainstream and hermetic, increases the sex-and-nudity quotient of the Welles filmography not by a percentage but by a power.

The story, such as it is, concerns the 70th birthday party of Jake Hannaford, portrayed with vanity-free abandon and lemon-sucking bitterness by John Huston, who looks like he’s been dragged through hell and spat back up onto earth because hell found him too hard to digest. To this party have been invited dozens of friends, enemies, well-wishers, and chroniclers. Journalists, academics, TMZ-avant-la-lettre footage collectors, documentarians, and out-and-out spies. The other thread of the story is of the movie Hannaford is trying to complete, a trippy, arty, uncomfortable, almost dialogue-free chronicle of a woman (Oja Kodar, Welles’ lover and a credited co-writer of the movie) walking nearly naked through the world and happening on all manner of orgiastic activity while pursuing a male biker whom she seduces in a moving car in a sequence that’s virtuosic, dreamlike, and squirm-inducing all at once.

The Hannaford party is an assemblage of the footage shot by the invitees. In a narrated prologue, conceived and executed well outside of Welles’ purview, Peter Bogdanovich’s character explains the rationale behind the document. An extra-diegetic text before the film proper begins explains that this cut of Welles’ unfinished film is an attempt to “honor and complete” Welles’ vision.

What vision it finally presents is a continually paradoxical one. It is a curse on cinema and a blessing of it. Its explorations of sexuality near explicitness, but its musings on the subject have to do with nothing but secrets. A sniping critic/historian played by Susan Strasberg harps on Hannaford’s camera fixating on his movies’ leading men. She recalls that Hannaford had affairs with all the wives of his movies’ lead males, and theorizes that this was his way of sublimating his desire for the men. Certainly Hannaford’s fixation on John Dale (Bob Random), the hippie-curled leading man of the new project, is not healthy. Dale came into Hannaford’s life while the latter was vacationing. The older man believes he saved the younger when he was trying to drown himself. A drama teacher brought to Jake’s party has a different story about Dale’s own ambition. Repressed homosexuality is not especially emphasized here as a betrayal of one’s self, but “Wind” is a movie in which everyone is selling everyone out, or at least is susceptible to doing so. Its web of relationships is vertigo-inducing, and the breakneck cutting, constantly shifting film stock, and seesawing aspect ratios don’t construct the easiest through-line by which to track them.

“The Other Side of the Wind” is a very rich film and a very difficult one. I’ve seen it nearly three times now and what I intuit about the aspects of it that “work,” and those where the seams just show too nakedly shift all the time. Cameron Mitchell’s fired makeup artist, with his ridiculous straw hat and bathetic vaudevillian bearing, seems to have dropped in from an entirely different film, and I still can’t be sure that’s not entirely the point. Some of the compositions — an early shot on the studio lot, a low-angle into which move Mercedes McCambridge and a couple of other figures to make a nice Eisenstein-like three-figure composition that Welles expanded upon with just the right dolly-in camera movement — are vintage Welles, including uncomfortable closeups like those of Glenn Anders in “The Lady From Shanghai,” all of the tricks and trills pushed to their limits like a circus act gone mad. While the film-within-a-film, with its empty spaces and forced-perspective winks, is parodying Antonioni and other art-film directors, there’s also a self-critique or homage in the visual references to Welles’ own “The Trial.” In “They’ll Love Me When I’m Dead,” the fascinating documentary about the making of this film that’s also an excellent companion piece to it, Simon Callow, the actor, director, and Welles biographer says “I have a feeling, for which I have no evidence, that Welles didn’t want to finish ‘The Other Side of the Wind.’” This is followed by denials, some indignant, of the idea that Welles would not WANT to finish a film. Of course he wanted to finish; he was merely denied the opportunity.

As it happens, I agree with Callow, and I think there is evidence: it’s the movie itself. As a vessel for Welles’ self-loathing, which by this point in his life was arguably bottomless, “Wind” itself needed to have no bottom. The hundred hours of footage from which Welles worked on the feature was packed with self-inflicted wounds upon which he could pour salt, particularly with respect to his tortured relationship to the film culture he helped create but the specific personal relationship with Bogdanovich. Down to the pettiest little thing. When Bogdanovich’s Brook calls Hannaford a “rough magician,” after a speech in Shakespeare’s “The Tempest,” and Hannaford “confesses” to Brook that he knows not the meaning of the word “abjure,” those who have read Bogdanovich’s interview book with Welles, “This Is Orson Welles,” should be able to hear Welles himself pretending he doesn’t know who Mizoguchi is.

In that book Welles says of Godard, “What’s most admirable about him is his marvelous contempt for the machinery of movies and even movies themselves—a kind of anarchistic, nihilistic contempt for the medium—which, when he’s at his best and most vigorous, is very exciting.” It’s not for nothing that Welles sets the ending of “Wind” at a drive-in theater, the inverse of a sacred movie palace, a place for the desecration of cinema and a pretext for sexual activity, and shoots it like it’s a touchstone site of the romance of the American West, which of course it is. Everything contradicts everything else in this film, while at the same time drawing perfect circular connections. What Godard had to say about Welles, in 1963, was this: “[M]ay we be accursed if we forget for one second that he alone with Griffith, one in silent days, one sound, managed to start up that marvelous little electric train in which Lumiere did not believe. All of us will always owe him everything.” Fun fact: on the slates for “Wind,” the cameraman was written in as “Bitzer.” If you get that joke—for “Wind” is a movie best appreciated only by individuals as enriched and as damaged by cinema as Welles was himself—you will get this movie.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/the-other-side-of-the-wind-2/

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thegloober · 6 years

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The Other Side of the Wind

Source: https://bloghyped.com/the-other-side-of-the-wind/

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