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jmrothwell · 6 months

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Oooh I got Vampire Slayer AU + Family AU xD

No lie, I read this and my immediate thought was Buffy?? But let’s see if we can do something a little different.

Also, this got kinda long so I have put it below the cut:

So instead of the Slayer being a random chosen one from anywhere in the world it’s a bloodline thing. Sort of…like the potential is in the bloodline but not every member gets to be a Slayer, the previous Slayer has to pass the mantle down.

Rose was the prior slayer, however things had significantly slowed down since her grandmother and great great grandmother had the mantles. Victoria and her parents insisted it was because the Slayers were winning (There a few dozen slayer families around the world) and that Rose should live her life.

Rose tries, she really does but she can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. She starts working at nightclubs and bars to try and get a casual peak into the nightlife and she does hear some interesting rumors and urban legends but they all turn out to be that, urban legends.

She meets Ray and they begin dating and eventually he manages to convince her she should focus on living. It doesn’t help that she’s witnessed some deaths that aren’t paranormally related and it sort of cements everything everyone has been telling her. Life is too short, and it will pass her by entirely if she isn’t careful. She and Ray settle down and they have Julie and Carlos and Rose wonders if since the world has gotten safer if she should just let the mantle die with her.

Cut to (or open here and we learn all of that as back story later, not sure yet) 17 year old Julie is dealing with the recent sudden death of her mother, just like the rest of her family. It’s become this massively speculated rumor mill of an incident. She fell off a building at a height that should have killed her instantly but it didn’t, it was a slow and agonizing night for her and her family. Many speculate she was attempting suicide. Rose insists she was not, insisting she was thrown and that they were all wrong, it’s so much worse than they realized.

Julie doesn’t know what to believe in the months leading up to her Mother’s death her mother had turned into an entirely different person. Even got into some fights with Victoria and her Dad.

Mostly Julie just wishes the incident would stop haunting her dreams. Tired and guilty for feeling tired of hearing her mother’s final words repeating over and over. “I’m sorry Julie, I should have prepared you better. You deserve better and I hope you can do what I couldn’t.”

It’s not even been a month since the funeral, Julie hasn’t even has time to process all of her grief when one night she’s home alone and she hears rummaging in the garage. She knows what she should do, the sensible thing, duck her head, get inside, don't mess with the things that go bump in the night. Even if she’s sure it’s just a stray cat or raccoon. It’s her entire thought process even as her feet move of their own accord.

Inside she finds three boys and during hers (and theirs panicked screaming) she instinctively grabs one of them and rather sloppily gets him pinned to the ground. It’s Reggie, after the initial panicking dies down and while Julie tries to process what the hell she just did he tries a cheesy line about their positions.

This immediately knocks Julie back to the fact that she’s found three strange teenage boys in her garage and demands to know who they are and what they’re doing. They introduce themselves as Luke, Reggie, and Alex and say they were looking for Rose. Which just angers Julie thinking of course they have to be trying to prank her because who hasn’t heard about what happened to her mom by this point.

The guys genuinely didn’t know. They’re kind of cut off from many news sources at the moment.

It takes a bit of back and forth before Alex straight up just asks if that makes Julie the new Slayer now. Julie is confused and doesn’t know who to be mad or upset with anymore as they finish telling her about how her mom was one of the last remaining Slayers, as many other Slayer families had allowed themselves to die out in the extended time of peace.

The guys (who refuse to tell Julie how they know everything they are telling her) say it’s all one big plot led by a vampire who gained a lot of power in the late 1920’s. (Again, not sure of this would be revealed up front or discovered through the story)

Julie decides they are pranking her, and tells them to leave her alone. Her dreams only get weirder from here on out.

The next day at school she tells Flynn all about it. Flynn does some digging on her own during school, while Julie has the world’s weirdest school day (think all the stereotypical I’ve got powers now type scenes only Julie is in major denial) By the end of the school day Flynn is fully convinced Julie is this Slayer figure and Julie just wants to drop out of school and sleep for a year straight.

Though Julie does get incredibly intrigued by the fact that one of the pieces of evidence Flynn found was a series of missing persons reports throughout the years. Particularly the article about a band from the 90’s named Sunset Curve.

After school as Julie gets home she can see that all the garage windows have been boarded up and goes to confront the guys. Who all of course panic when she throws the garage doors open. They admit they’re vampires, but don’t know why or how their turning got botched, but they know it did because they do not act like a good 90% of the other vampires they know.

They managed to evade Caleb and had been getting updates from their friend Willie who went missing. Worried and more than a little desperate they turned to Rose for help. Which just immediately sours their relationship with Julie more because now she has someone to blame for her mother’s death.

The guys help defend Julie as she now has a giant target on her back as an untrained Slayer. Still a dangerous threat but one Caleb thinks he can take out. Flynn thinks Julie should talk to her dad or Aunt about it but Julie doesn’t want to cause her Dad more grief and is kind of mad at both of them for keeping something like this from her.

Flynn, Julie and the guys, slowly learn the whole Slayer thing together. Albeit begrudgingly on Julie’s part especially as far as the guys are concerned but there is no denying they make a good team and seems to be their way of trying to make amends.

Eventually Julie does confront her family about things. Mostly because, thanks to Carlos, the rest of her family discover her Slayer thing and try to get upset with her first about not telling them. Which of course leads to a huge fight about them keeping it from her in the first place.

Victoria and Ray absolutely do not like the fact Julie has teamed up with a trio of vampires. But Ray quickly changes his mind when the three start helping out around the house. Victoria also trains Julie what she remembers from her training with Rose when they were younger, she may not have been the one chosen for the mantle but that didn’t mean she didn’t need the training.

It all builds up to a showdown with Caleb, who initially tries to just do the vampiric seduce Julie to be a vampire thing. But then he makes the mistake of letting it slip that he was the one who killed Rose and Julie sees red. Just before she manages to kill him Caleb drops the “you kill me then your friends are going to die too” which does cause Julie to hesitate for a bit but she does what she knows must be done for ‘the greater good’ and kills Caleb.

In the aftermath of that, and the vampires Caleb sired dying as well, the world a whole have to recover from the sheer number of people who’d actually been vampires hiding in plain sight.

Fortunately for Julie and the guys(including Willie) Caleb wasn’t the one who turned them. Unfortunately that does leave them all to contemplate what it is they should do. In the meantime, they all just let themselves enjoy life for a bit.

#Writing Game #AUs are awesome

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onenerdroaming · 6 months

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My first media review in ages! I know I said last year I'd get to Legends and Lattes as soon as I was in a headspace to write about the stories I listen to when hiking, but I'm not going to lie, saying I would review it and then forgetting about it entirely basically is my review of that book. All set up and no pay off.

Today's review is the new audible original audio drama: Slayers: A Buffyverse Story by Christopher Golden and Amber Benson.

Before anything else we have to talk about the frankly confusing discourse I've seen around Slayers. I have been following all of the new comics coming out connected to BTVS so I've honestly been shocked by this "Buffy is being disrespected and erased" discourse? There is one current long term ongoing series. This series is called The Last Vampire Slayer, and is about a world where all of the Scoobies as well as all of the Slayers save for Buffy were brutally killed years ago. Now an older jaded Buffy has to deal with a young Slayer (the only one she knows of who was not killed upon being called) who has tracked her down to beg to be trained by Buffy. Before it became an ongoing series, it was a miniseries about the young slayer talking Buffy into training her (the fact she is Willow and Tara's orphaned daughter got Buffy to decide to keep the kid from dying), which I will admit is all I read because that was all I needed to know that series really wasn't for me. I'm not a fan of that level of dark and gritty.

Honestly, the whole "Buffy is being erased" thing feels like a game of telephone being played with second hand information.

People of course tend to point to the short miniseries that recently came out where Faith arrives in Sunnydale in a position of power. The Scoobies look to her as the person in charge, because just before she arrived in an effort to try and help Buffy with her magic Willow accidentally took away Buffy's powers. This leads Willow down the path of becoming Dark Willow, and once the comic establishes Faith in her confident established position, the powerless Buffy saves the day from Dark Willow and gets her powers back in the process - reinforcing for the millionth time that Buffy doesn't need her powers to be the best at this (as in she figures out what is happening, tracks Willow down, gets Faith to act as her backup, and then saves the day). Oh, also that comic ends with canonical Buffy/Faith, Xander/Spike and Willow/Tara so color me confused about why the fandom hated it so much.

Before that we had a few other comics all of which were, of course, centered around Buffy, including a long running ongoing (the main Boom! Buffy comic) essentially about how Buffy was the best Vampire Slayer across the multiverse, where there is a massive battle across the multiverse with many different Buffys (complete with musing about how one writes Buffy in plural so truly all spellings including Buffi are valid here) and multiple multiverse traversing characters make it clear that Buffy is special because she is so important in so many worlds.

Ok, so all of that said - and here is the key thing that confuses me - this is an audio where the main draw is the original BTVS cast are reprising their roles.

Buffy fans know that neither Sarah Michelle Geller nor Allison Hannigan have ever, ever, in the history of BTVS supplementary materials, played their roles. Not for the PS2 game Chaos Bleeds (where literally every other member of the cast played their character), not for the never actually picked up or aired animated series, not for the Season 8 motion comics. This is something Amber Benson (who was in Chaos Bleeds) and Chistopher Golden (who wrote Chaos Bleeds) would most assuredly know from the start of the plotting process. It is also possible they were asked and said no - all of that said, truly the chances of either of those actresses appearing was less than zero.

That means there were two options - recast them the way those prior projects did (which dragged alllllll of them down and would muddy the whole ORIGINAL CAST RETURNS appeal) or write a story that makes sense without them (or Xander, but truly fuck him and I am glad to report he's only name checked like one time in the entire story). So of course Buffy does not appear in the story (although a wild drinking game would be to take a shot every time anyone talks about how amazing she is. In the story itself Cordelia demands that Spike, Clem, Giles and Indira stop talking about how great Buffy is all the time because it was getting old). This also means that as amazing as the cliffhanger at the end was, it felt more like a massive bone being thrown to the fans for the purpose of fanfiction rather than setting up any future story, since obviously they will NOT be able to continue with the set up plot due to casting concerns.

Ok - so now to review the audio itself. I will confess, I was not a fan of Spike's narration at the start of each episode. But my irritation with him evened out as the story went on and the cast moved past Spike and Clem. I loved the fact that our new character Indira is a massive fangirl, there to endlessly exclaim over how cool Buffy is as she tags along. I loved the way the alternate universe was used to explore different versions of the characters we know and love. Cordelia as a jaded Slayer with PTSD was fascinating, as was Anya as the lone witch left on the side of good freaking out over having to face down her best friend. Evil Tara and her relationship with Dru was of course an absolute delight. But of course the role that most impressed me - and the only actor in the audios who sounded 100000% exactly the same as she did back when the show was airing - was Drusilla. Wow, talk about an incredible performance from Juliet Landau. I also really loved the role Clem played in the audio, it was so great to have him fleshed out more and playing such a key role in the cast.

Actually ok, I lied a bit, another actor's voice was fairly unchanged and immediately recognizable. That of course was someone I was not excepting to hear and I actually shouted when that character popped up because well... with the amount of success that actor has achieved I didn't think they'd be here. But through the power of their personal friendship with Amber Benson, there they were! That was a really fun surprise cameo and I am not going to spoil who (although if you are curious this actor's inclusion in the cast is listed on the internet).

There were a few such cameos - the audio did a great job folding in those fun little reward moments for Buffy nerds. Also it gave us Anyanka as a yappy dog? I did not know I needed to hear Emma Caulfield Ford play a vengeance daemon as a tiny dog, but I am so glad this audio gave it to me.

I don't want to spoil too much of the story, but I very much had a blast listening to this, and would highly rec. it. As much as I really really really loved the ending and would love to read a million fics exploring what happens next in that universe, I am pretty sad that it is unlikely we will be getting the story the cliffhanger implies.

Truthfully I really hope this audio is not a one off and we can look forward to more Buffyverse audios in the future. Plus, who knows, maybe if they are successful enough even SMG may one day get involved (although I feel that really is a long shot).

#slayers a buffyverse story #I wrote this having just got home from a hike so I am sure it is terribly written but I'd rather just post it then fret over it

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jennycalendar · 2 years

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so i watched prophecy girl recently and i HAVE to say -- once again i am left with so many buffy and giles thoughts! this was indisputably their season, and i think viewing it through that lens has actually added such a special and incredible layer to the whole thing, but i was also FUNDAMENTALLY HEARTBROKEN and here is why.

the intimacy between buffy and giles has been something that’s been building since the very first episode. i really feel like a lot of the metaphor this season when it comes to buffy and giles is about the process of realizing that your teenager is not actually just a mindless automaton, and that your goals for your kid are not going to always line up with what your kid wants to do with their life. we’re introduced to him handing her a manual and saying let’s go, i’ve got this, take my hand and i will walk you through it and her pretty much responding with fuck you, asshole, you don’t know what it’s like for me. i think it is really fitting and also really heartbreaking that that’s the note we END the season on as well.

because this is, i think, the only situation we see in the show where giles tries to treat buffy like a little kid instead of the one and only vampire slayer! and the episode itself reveals WHY giles never does this again! it’s a full-on role reversal: giles spent the first episode demanding that buffy face and accept her calling, and now he’s spending this season’s last episode refusing to let buffy face and accept her calling. meanwhile, buffy spent the first episode squaring up with giles in an effort to get him to leave her alone, and the season finale is about her squaring up with giles in an effort to get him to...well, leave her alone.

all of this highlights the essential ways that both of them have developed. spending time with buffy, watching her try and fail to be a kid when her slayer duties always end up taking priority, seeing how desperately she wants to be a little girl and how keenly she feels the loss of her childhood innocence, has made giles grow beyond his clinical role as a watcher. he’s come to understand that buffy does deserve better than dying at sixteen, that he doesn’t want buffy to die at sixteen, and that he will do whatever he can to keep buffy from dying -- which is not actually his job. his job is to train buffy and fight evil. but buffy has taught giles that there are things more important than the mission.

buffy’s decision to come into her own and face the master is motivated largely by willow, and wanting to make the world safer for her, but i do think that it’s significant that she ends up actually doing what giles was asking her to do at the very beginning of the show. she doesn’t flinch away from her destiny. she stares it right in the eye. she is given the out that she begged the world for in welcome to the hellmouth and she makes the conscious choice not to take it. AND she still does it on her own terms! still flips off these old patriarchal forces telling her that there is no way to get around her dying! it’s so important that it’s willow who gets her to go down and fight the master and it’s xander who saves her life. the fact that she’s sustained these friendships has made her the slayer that she is.

but the thing that really got to me is, like i said, the fact that this is the ONLY time we see giles try to do something that can very easily be labeled as fatherly. this is indisputably what a dad would do in this situation. a dad would flat-out refuse to listen to destiny and prophecy, firmly tell his kid to sit the fuck down, and fight the monster himself. there is a quiet, implicit dialogue between buffy and giles in their confrontation: giles places himself in a paternal role, the only time he does this in the show, and buffy removes him from it.

and shining a light on this moment adds a whole layer to the later seasons -- particularly the fact that buffy very clearly wants giles to step into a paternal role, and giles very clearly will not. he got punched out when he actually tried to be a dad. he knows on some level that this won’t work if he is her dad, regardless of how desperately buffy wants him to be her dad -- but his attempts to draw lines with her are so blurry and hesitant and informed by his own trauma that they muddy the waters even more than before.

#meta #buffy and giles #celia's buffy rewatch 2022 edition #i am literally so not normal about this like????#we talk about buffy wanting giles to be her dad but this adds a WHOLE LAYER to it #that when he actually TRIES to be her dad she fucking DECKS HIM #i haven't totally written a thesis statement about this shit yet. i am definitely going to keep tracking their relationship as i watch

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misskittyspuffy · 2 years

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Fresh start (Spuffy ficlet)

Summary: Buffy and Spike broke up, but it was only a matter of time before they got back together.

Set in the comics universe, post-season 12, but can easily be understood even if you haven't read them.

Author’s note: The way they broke them up in the comics always rubbed me the wrong way, I understood the intention of demonstrating that Buffy could also be happy and single, but considering the way they had written Buffy & Spike up to that point, it didn't make much sense to me, because they were really good with and for each other. I definitely don't think Buffy & Spike's breakup was made to last, so this is one of the many ways I would have seen things go for them :)

This ficlet is kinda close in spirit to the one I wrote in french a few years ago, called "L'épanouissement", even though this story was longer.

Please note that english isn't my maternal language, I apologize if there are mistakes, feel free to let me know :)

Links: Ao3 - Elysian Fields

***

When Buffy came home that night, Spike was comfortably lying on her couch, after spending the evening there playing poker with Dawn and Xander, who had come with baby Joyce. The little family had left a few minutes earlier to go back to their place, leaving Spike alone to clean up –which he hadn’t done yet. When he saw that the Slayer had come home, he went back on his feet and walked as casually as possible in her direction, his mind visibly preoccupied, even if he was trying to hide it.

“Hey.’’

”Hey,’’ he said back. “Heard you had a date tonight. How did it go?’’ he asked, trying to sound cool.

Buffy looked down, feeling a little awkward, and threw her keys on the kitchen’s counter. “Nicely… I suppose,’’ she said hesitant.

Spike noticed her hesitation and tried to lock eyes with her. “Hmm?’’

When Buffy finally looked back at him, her face was very serious. “We kissed.’’

The vampire felt like he had just been punched in the stomach but tried to cover his emotion. He knew it had to happen, eventually. “Oh. That scores in the positive category. I mean, good. For you —him. I guess,’’ he mumbled, damning himself for even asking in the first place.

The Slayer’s eyes went soft, she knew perfectly how he felt. “Spike…’’

“No, it’s okay Buffy, I mean, when we made the decision to break up, we may have still loved each other but we knew we might eventually not get back together.’’

“Spike…’’

“It’s a good thing Buffy, I mean it, you don’t owe me anything’’ he said, lost in his own thoughts.

She stepped closer to him. “Spike. I’m gonna do something, but please don’t freak out, okay?’’

Before he could even think about it, Buffy tenderly took his face between her hands and brushed her lips against his, before giving him a deep kiss that lasted a moment. Spike could feel the taste of the other man she’d been seeing earlier, but was quickly lost in their embrace. He put his arms around her waist, tightening his grip.

Eyes still closed, she rested her forehead against his. “You know what happened?’’ she sighed.She looked into his eyes. “I thought I liked the guy. I mean, on the paper, yeah, he was nice and everything. He seemed to be the perfect match, perfect boyfriend. But when he complimented my dress, when he asked me for a dance, or when he kissed me? I felt nothing.’’ She shrugged. “All I could think about was the fact that he wasn’t you. And I realized… how stupid all of this is. Us being apart, I mean.’’ She rested her hands against his chest. "We’ve been broken up for a year and I’m still madly in love with you. I feel so dumb that it took me dating another man to actually face it. I miss you.’’

Spike swallowed hard and took a second to process what she was trying to tell him. The emotion made his throat tighter. If he had been alive, his heart would have been beating so fast.

“I’m –I’m sorry if I’ve been presumptuous. I don’t know where you stand regarding our relationship since we broke up.’’ She looked more insecure now, almost trying to escape from his arms. “But if you want it too, I wanted to let you know that you still have me. You always had me,’’ she emphasized.

Spike reinforced his grip around her waist, getting her closer to him. He took the initiative of their next kiss, which was a little more passionate, before responding to her speech. “The feeling is more than mutual, luv. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t actually chill about you going on a date.’’

She laughed. “I’d never have guessed.’’

“ I love you and I missed you so much,’’ he said while caressing her hair like if she was the most precious thing in the world.

A smile of relief appeared on the slayer’s lips. She kissed him lightly. “Fresh start, then?’’

He smiled in return. “Fresh start.’’

#Spuffy #Spuffy comics #BTVS comics #Post-season 12 #Spuffy ficlets #My fanfictions #English fanfictions #Fresh start #Buffy x Spike

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purpleplaid17 · 1 month

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Jess Watches // Mon 25 Mar // Day 180 Synopses & Favourite Scenes & Poll

The Newsreader (with mum) 2x01 Decision 87

It's one year on and Helen and Dale are now established as 'The Golden Couple of News'. It's Election Night 1987 - Hawke vs Howard. Competitor Geoff Walters is also making a comeback on a rival network.

The rampant sexism and expected submissiveness of women throughout was infuriating, but it makes very compelling tv. I just want to protect Helen and Noels from all the misogynist aresholes. I hope Dale and Robbo prove their love and loyalty to them.

The Patient (with mum) 1x03 Issues

Sam's desire to find a therapeutic solution grows as his inner struggle intensifies. Dr. Strauss brings a new variable into their sessions.

Why can't women sing at Jewish weddings? She had a lovely voice. And using Sam's mum to try and get him to stop murdering people would be an effective method on me because I'd do anything to help protect my mum. Not that I'd ever need a serial killer intervention. Not yet anyway. 👀🔪

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (rw) 3x15 Consequences

A homicide detective closes in on Buffy and Faith as he investigates the deputy mayor's death.

The gay goggles were ON this ep:

Buffy having a dream about Faith pushing her head down.

Cordelia bristling at Buffy calling her just a 'friend'.

Faith touching B's shoulder to guide her out of the library into an empty classroom in which they lock the door to talk.

"I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it, too."

Them telling different stories about their night in Faith's apartment.

Buffy crying to Willow that Faith doesn't even care about what happened between them.

Buffy fumbling over her words as she comes out to Giles.

Buffy not wanting to hear how Xander slept with Faith.

Faith using Xander as a substitute for Buffy.

"Yeah, because you and me are such solid buds, right?"

"You can't handle watching me living my own way, having a blast, because it tempts you! You know it could be you!"

The heavy breathing and prolonged staring after Faith saves B's life.

Six Feet Under (rw) 2x01 In the Game

A drug-addicted actress dies from a cocaine overdose and leaves her fellow cast and crew members to set up the funeral.

Ruth trying to communicate better with her gay and lesbian (looks at Claire 👀) children is so endearing. She really is trying her best. And I knew it was only a matter of time before Nate unknowingly took the hidden ecstasy pill from the aspirin bottle. He was so tactile with everyone around him. To get to talk to his dad again and see Life and Death fuck nasty was a lot to process. For him and for me.

#the newsreader #the patient #buffy the vampire slayer #six feet under #polls #tumblr polls #jess watches #day 180

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crazybigredlove · 2 years

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1st August 2013

Dear Pete,

I know nothing, nothing at all about men. Yes, you have that in writing and I will admit wholeheartedly to writing it should I ever be questioned on the matter.

Big Red came back late last night, after your parents’ non- function, networking thingy and long after I had hit send on your email.

While I could give you the Readers Digest version of the evening, let me give you the Peter Jackson Director's Cut with an additional 347 hours of footage and commentary provided by the main character so that you get the full picture.

After fluffing about the apartment for what felt like an eternity begging Christopher to give me a hint at what sort of occasion it was and how I should dress, came into the living room wearing jeans and heels as he suggested it was a slightly casual networking do, and there he is standing in the middle of the living room, Buffy under one arm, and wearing a tailored, Italian-designer suit.

Fuck.

Rush back to the room to change, all the while he's yelling at me that we're going to be late and how as much as he loves to disappoint your parents, he really does prefer when it's on his terms. Come back out in a dress - which, admittedly, may have been a little tighter than the last time I wore it due to my belief that pastries help with complex thought processing - and Christopher is refusing to put down Buffy.

"You're not bringing him." Arms crossed, very stern. Using parent voice. "Yes I am. He'll liven it up. You know it's going to be painful." Meanwhile he's stroking Buffy's head and patting him lovingly, looking absolutely adorable in his tailored designer suit. Feeling my heart go 'nawwww', I'm starting to crumble at the sight of him so gently holding my dog. Willpower is at an all-time low. "Fine, but you have to promise to look after him the whole time. He isn't toilet-trained. He digs. He chews. You have to hold him, in between both hands, for the entire duration of the party. Do you want to do that?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Was somewhat flippant in his response, but I am still melting at how cute a picture it makes, and really, your brother is a doctor. Surely if he says he can do this then he can do this.

Cut to two hours later and I am apologising profusely to the three guests on whom Buffy has taken the liberty of marking his territory, trying to hide recently chewed shoes in a closet (where did he even find them?), and wondering how to get him down from on top of the fridge where he is playfully wagging his tail and barking profusely. Also marvelling at how the hell a German Shepherd puppy would even get up there, but really this is no time to gaze lovingly at my offspring and his ability to succeed at the impossible. Suspecting it was the work of Christopher, but I'm still compiling enough evidence to be able to accuse him of anything.

Your brother was kind enough to cheekily tell your parents, "You know. I told her not to bring him but she wouldn't listen. She's just been so emotional lately, what with everyone abandoning her and facing a life of inevitable loneliness that I couldn't really insist she leave him at home."

Jerk.

Cranky enough with him that I am contemplating changing the locks while he's at work. Your mother shook her head disapprovingly, but your father patted my shoulder in a rather sympathetic and paternal manner. I am so proud to now not only be a disappointment to my own parents but also to yours.

Once home and after I'd written your email, Big Red arrives on the doorstep telling me that he just had to see me. Christopher was kind enough to meet him at the door with a judging smile and no words.

Killed an hour hanging on the couch with Christopher between us. Strange as it was, it wasn't upsetting having him there. It might even be valid to go so far as to say I was grateful. The buffer was a welcome distraction from the teensy, tiny part of me that couldn't wait for Big Red to leave so I could discuss with Christopher all the ways in which Big Red is so wrong for me.

Be careful what you wish for. Yes, I can hear you from here.

Finally he was ready to leave and as he walked out into the hall he paused and turned. "What're we doing here?" "What do you mean?" Felt my shoulders immediately tense. How many times does he want to have this discussion? Starting to feel like it could potentially rear it's head every date until we're married...

"Well, what're we fucking doing here? Are we just friends or what? We’ve had a couple of really good dates now and I want to know if I’m wasting my time."

I didn't know how to reply. I wanted to scream at him that I wanted to keep him forever because I love how much he acts like he loves me. The problem is that I mostly love that attention from a distance and in my experience they don't tend to hang around very long after you say that or after you yell at them and, really, I'm still not convinced that he genuinely likes me. Or that I like him. Or this. Is this even what I want? Is he who I want to be with?

Confusion reigned so I went with a different tact. "I'm still finding my feet here..." Not a lie at all. "Yeah, well I'd like this to be something."

"I just need it to go slow! Slow down!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. "I can't have you trying to own me when you can't even possibly know yet whether you really like me. I need to know you're not going to change your mind two seconds after we start something because you rushed it. I don't want to be with a guy who is filling a void left by his ex." Can hear the confusion and desperation in my voice. Heart is hammering. Hands are shaking. Who is this girl?? "That's okay. Taking it slow is better for me." He looks at me with that big, dopey grin and those beautiful eyes and suddenly I am smiling like an idiot and wondering whether I imagined the last two minutes. Breathing recommences and I exhale heavily as the burning in my scalp subsides. "So you're happy if we take it slow? No rushing in and putting labels on things?" "Yeah. I mean, I want you to be my girlfriend, but if I still have to prove myself to you then I'm up for that." "Oh." The heat begins to build in my scalp once more as instinct begins screaming at me to run.

The silence between us stretches out till it's awkward because, well, who is this guy and what am I doing? In the conversation we had literally only seconds ago didn't we determine that we wanted different things? Why are we still standing here?

The clock continues to tick away as we avoid eye contact. Then without another word he turns to walk away. Soon he is disappearing from sight without even a glance backwards and something tugs inside me. Something is telling me that I need to beg him to stay, that this guy might actually like me and if I let him go right now it is all over.

"Do you really have to leave now?" Down the hallway the words have escaped before I've even half a chance to weigh-up whether I really want to ask them. "Yeah, babe. I've got stuff to do." He walks back towards me and I'm still cringing at 'babe' as he leans in and kisses my cheek. "Not even just a few more minutes?"

"Nah. I'll see you again soon."

Like that he is gone. Out the door, down the steps, gone. Now all I want to do is call out to him so that he'll come back and I can desperately rip his clothes off. It feels like my head is on fire and my hair is sizzling away as every nerve-ending in my body begins to fire double time at things I don't quite understand.

Be careful what you wish for...

Lying here dying of neuroses and completely aware that if my game was to push him away then I have succeeded; now I'm desperate to see him again. It's weird. I get that. It's also dating. Now starts the flood of insecurities. What if he doesn't call? What if he gets home, has a few days without me around and then realises I am clinically insane? Why can't I just enjoy things without analysing them to the nth degree?

This is why I detach. I don't like being here. All I ever want is to know the ending.

I think this is the stuff that Harry was talking about. This is the stuff that he wants me to write to you about, or if not you as such, then someone. Lord knows I am not talking to him about it. Remember how I used to have those neurotic episodes after I'd met someone new and I would just hang out in your bedroom doorway, refusing to let you sleep till you'd eased my fears? Suddenly it's very apparent to me that I may be a part of the reason you took-off.

Did my obsessive talk of dating drive you insane and force you to runaway to foreign countries in a bid to escape my whiney voice?

Time has started passing and I haven't heard a word from Big Red. From not getting enough of me to disappearing into the winter night air without a word or real explanation; that is quite the transition. It wouldn’t be the first time a man smothered me and then vanished into thin air without an explanation.

Buffy is curled up like a perfect little puppy as I write this, and while it's comforting, it's not the same. I really hope he calls. I really hope he likes me like I think I could potentially like him. I hope I get the chance to like him. I also really hope my dog doesn't pee on me while he's sleeping there so peacefully as I'm getting very sick of it.

Liv x

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shipsandlattes · 4 years

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So I know everyone has already dissected this scene to its core, but it’s taken me a good 48 hours to digest this and I just needed to get it out.

I’m an aspiring actor, I’ve been training for a long time, with a lot of amazing teachers. I’ve watched a lot of shows and shipped a lot of couples. Some of them beautiful and canon, others, well, let’s just say waiting 22 years and counting for acknowledgement, closure, anything, it’s a damn challenge. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of will-they-wont-they’s, baiting, purposeful ignorance, deliberate fake outs, zero explanations, storylines that basically caused canon disintegration, the works.

In saying that, Dean and Cas were right up there on the list with the other “impossibles” because honestly, I didn’t think the writers would have the guts to do it, but I am so f*cking proud they did. It’s safe to say I’ve watched the scene a good hundred+ times already.

I’ve seen a lot of “controversy” around Dean’s reaction/Jensen’s acting choices and whether or not Dean reciprocates Cas’ feelings, and obviously, I needed to add my own views to the mix.

Just work with me for a minute here.

Dean Winchester is an emotionally repressed trainwreck, and ironically enough, the one that is so full of emotion it hurts to watch. When Cas first starts his speech, he’s confused, really confused because why on earth would Cas start off on a rant now? Billie’s waiting to kill them, he just said he knew something that was more powerful than she was, something that could save them. That’s where he thought this speech was going.

The confusion turns to realisation that it’s a goodbye when Cas starts telling him how incredible he is, how his entire essence is love. Go back and watch the scene again, when Cas says “you’re the most caring man on Earth”, you physically see Dean look down, his eyes searching, he’s actively trying to make sense of what’s happening, he knows what’s coming and you can see him coming to terms with the shock of the words being said to him. He then looks directly at Cas. That look, that was pure shock.

Also, notice how he doesn’t stop Cas from talking? He doesn’t interject, make a joke, doesn’t talk about how there is no time for this now, they’ve got to at least try and stop Billie. He. says. nothing. He listens, he listens like I’ve never seen Dean listen before. Because it’s sinking in now.

When Cas really starts crying, when he says “you changed me, Dean”, you can actually see the pain in Dean’s eyes. He’s no longer in control of his emotions, he’s crying too. He’s never seen Cas like this, so raw, and vulnerable and human. This is the hardest, most emotional conversation they’ve both ever had. They are talking about the one thing that everybody knows, but is never addressed. When it wasn’t talked about, they could deny it, live in the lie. Once it’s said aloud, it’s real and they can’t turn back.

This above series of interactions is the part that kills me the most. The moment Cas says “because it is”, that’s the exact moment of realisation. Look at that last GIF, really look. He’s just worked it out, that he is Cas’ true happiness. He knows what’s coming before Cas even says it. Go back and watch the scene again, they pulled that off so well, the way the music swells at this exact moment. Jensen is giving us everything here, you can see what’s happening in his head - he is Cas’ happiness. He is the one thing on Earth Cas wants and thinks he can’t have. He is the reason Cas is about to die. He knows what Cas is about to say and he’s not sure he’s ready to hear it, not now, not like this. It’s almost a silent plea not to say it, because he knows. Of course he knows. It’s like he can’t quite believe Cas is really, after all this time, finally going to say it.

And because obviously Jensen decided that that wasn’t enough to break us, the loaded reaction when Cas says “I love you” has me nothing but convinced that it’s reciprocated. Because Dean knows. He’s always known. Those tears, that head tilt, that gulp. He’s so genuinely confused that they’re really having this conversation. It’s like he can’t quite believe that this is the reality before him because he’s been living in that denial, in that self-loathing and unlovable layer he believes to be true. He’s been under the ‘what if... but it could never be’ umbrella for so long.

What also makes this real is that there isn’t anyone else around this time. When “I love you’s” have been said before, they have always been able to deflect it, with other people or other words. Now it’s just the two of them. No deflecting, no running away. Dean is forced to hear it, to absorb it, to realise it’s for nobody else but him.

Now, I don’t know if you guys felt this, but when Dean says “Don’t do this, Cas”, he wasn’t just referring to Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty, he’s telling Cas that he can’t just say this, not now, knowing he’s going to die, knowing that Dean won’t get a chance to think, to process, to say what he needs too. I keep staring at that GIF above, Dean is breaking down, I’m almost convinced that Jensen was using an “I love you too, please just stop this” inner monologue for this bit. Look at the way he’s looking at Cas before he realises the Empty has started materialising and turns around. That’s a look of pure heartbreak. Trust me when I tell you, it’s really hard to keep those inner thoughts inside if you’re so in the moment - actually, don’t just take my word for it, read any acting book, ask any actor, it’s so hard to keep that in and sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you do - it’s in both the resistance and the letting go that the gold happens. This my friends, is gold.

Did anyone else hear “Cas, I-”, well, regardless of whether or not it was an “I” or a very sharp breath, the outcome is the same. Dean’s gone into immediate panic mode. The Empty at one end and Billie at the other, and all poor Dean wants to do is gather his thoughts on not what to say but how to say it. I don’t think he comprehended just how little time he had, he was so focused on what was being said that the reality of the situation caught him completely off guard.

Also, I know this post was about dissecting Dean’s reaction, but can we sidebar a minute to talk about Cas as he pushes Dean out of the way? He’s sobbing, he’s fully crying. That hit me really hard, I’ve never seen Cas cry like that, I’ve never seen Misha get to play that level of emotion before and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch since The Doctor and Rose and Buffy and Spike, to which by the way, I find many parallels between those couples and this scene.

Speaking of crying, that brings me to this: Dean slumped on the floor, ignoring a call from Sam, sobbing his heart out knowing he’s lost everything. Dean-I’m-emotionally-unavailable-Winchester is sobbing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall ever seeing Dean cry like this before either, the sobbing was so evident and piercing in that silence. The look around the room, the burying of his head in his hands, that is a classic writers romantic love trope if I’ve ever seen it, they really pulled out all the stops with this one.

So, to summarise, I think Jensen’s choices and Dean’s reactions were absolutely and utterly perfect. They both did it so well that it didn’t break from character that these two emotionally distant and repressed men are in love and finally voicing it. Jensen barely said two words and still managed to cause mass coronary’s across the fandom. That my friends is what you call a brilliant actor. I bow down to the talents of these two amazing human beings.

Before I leave this novel, I have to say there are now a few things I’m going to need from the powers that be to not screw this up, help me manifest this:

1. Dean gets to reciprocate his feelings to Cas in person. So, I’m gonna need Cas back and a very emotional Dean.

2. Dean to be actively dealing with heartbreak in the next episode (unless they decided to bring Cas back that soon, which I wouldn’t put past them at this point).

3. Sam to confront Dean about his feelings for Cas, because out of everyone, he’d be the one to hit Dean with the truth of his fears. Sam knows. Sam is supportive. Sam sees it all.

4. I’m gonna need some physical affection, cause after 12 years of nonsense, we damn well deserve it. A hug, and not just any old reunion hug, a proper, this is different now hug. A kiss because hello, in love out loud now. Forehead touching, handholding, really gonna need the works here.

5. A happy ending for the two of them, one way or another. We’ve never had one, it’s time.

Okay, have at it now, let’s speak these into existence please.

Note: GIFs are not mine, I did not make them, credit to owners who I’m not sure of, but they’re beautiful, thanks for making them. EDIT: I’ve just been informed that these gorgeous gifs belong to @michaeldean and @inacatastrophicmind!

#supernatural #SPN #DeanCas #destiel #deanwinchtser #castiel #15x18 #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #actor #acting #I ship it #shipper #i love you #spn spoilers #opinion piece #thoughts #my two cents #ships and lattes

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mcgnagallsarmy · 2 years

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My favourite Spuffy fics by genre

Action/Adventure:

A Different Kind of (Sunny)hell by OffYourBird [Adult Only]

Between juggling a New World Order, a bothersome Council, wayward magic, and – as always – some much with the confusing time travel, there is never a dull moment in Sunnydale for Liz and Elly. This is Season 6 as it exists in the Jumpverse.

The Butterfly Effect by cousinjean [NC-17]

Five months after the events of "Chosen," a still grieving Buffy must follow a time-travelling demon back to 1997 (circa Season 2) Sunnydale to prevent him from destroying the timeline--and try not to destroy it herself in the process.

Found by CupcakeCute [PG-13]

Begins between TGIQ and Power Play, continues post-NFA. Buffy learns of Spike's resurrection from an unlikely source and immediately sets out to make things right as The Apocalypse breaks out in L.A. Spike/Buffy pairing, some Angel/Cordelia.

Angst:

Circles by toooldforthis [PG-13]

They're so near and yet so far away.

A post-series reunion oneshot.

Reformation by OffYourBird [R]

When a Buffy from another dimension rescues Spike after he’s left beaten in Dead Things, his and Buffy's world is irrevocably turned upside down.

Stars For Wars Like Ours by ashcrashed [NC-17]

There's trouble brewing in Big Sky Country, and it calls for help from the original Chosen One and current General of Slayer, Inc. Buffy travels to the picturesque town of Bozeman, MT to assist a slayer contingent, and discovers a highly organized crime syndicate terrorizing the tourists, with plenty of muscle and a pesky aversion to sunlight. And it's there, she finds--much to her surprise--a familiar face also working the case, very much alive (though thankfully not on fire).

Apocalyptic/Dystopian:

The Right Call by Sigyn [PG-13]

Buffy never chose to be the slayer. She was chosen by fate. The world was in danger and she had no choice. Now the Slayers are called again, and Buffy is called on to do another job. It just feels as if fate hasn’t made the right call this time.

Scarlet and Midnight by Lirazel [R]

The world is remade in shades of scarlet and midnight, and all that's left is each other. [post-Season 2, AU from "Becoming Part II"]

Till the End of the World by slaymesoftly [R]

A short future fic, in which circumstances have kept Buffy and Spike apart for many years, but as the world slips into decline, he seeks her out.

Dark:

A Better Way to Go by kats_meow [NC-17]

It's Buffy's twenty-first birthday - you know, the one she was supposed to be conveniently dead for - and some smartass has left a crumpled up poem on her porch. Is it trash, a wish, or a chance for something better?

Almost Paradise by Holly [NC-17]

When presented with the opportunity to magically alter the world she lives in, Buffy knows there are a lot of very good reasons why she shouldn't seize it, but figures things can't get worse. She's wrong.

The Writing on the Wall by Holly [NC-17]

There was no body to bury. There was no funeral. There was nothing but the three rules and the knowledge that a thousand years of torment was nothing compared to a world without her in it. Spike embarks on a journey through the Gates of Hell to rescue the one he loves, but in order to save her, he must risk losing himself.

Drama:

Such Great Heights by Enigmaticblue [PG-13]

When Buffy falls through the portal in The Gift, she doesn’t die. Instead, she turns up in Sunnydale—twenty years in the future. What happens when the one person she thought she’d never be happy to see is the one person who’s stayed the same?

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Sunalso [Adult Only]

Buffy has fallen into darkness and been forced to become a ghost in her own past. Only she didn't come back alone. What will it take to overcome depression, obsession, and death so that she can learn to live, love, and laugh again.

Wounded by incendie [NC-17]

When Buffy goes to Spike in the basement, she isn't prepared for what she finds. Can wounds be healed?

Dramedy:

A Different Kind of Christmas by OffYourBird [NC-17]

Inconvenient demons, ripped fishnets, and a harried Giles abound. It must be Christmastime with Liz and Elly. Join them for a century and a half of holidays in this special Jumpverse one-shot. (Fair warning: if you haven’t read the previous installments of the Jumpverse, this will likely not make very much sense.)

Kaleidoscope by Lirazel [PG-13]

"Can you tell me, is this love that I'm seeing?" One by one, the people in Buffy and Spike's lives try to add up the obvious.

Switch by Holly [NC-17]

Following Tutor, Quake, and Blow. Sure, Buffy's propositioned him before, but never in public. Too much risk of discovery and all that. Something’s not right, and Spike’s determined to find out what. Even if he hates her. Which he does.

Erotica:

Chiaroscuro by OffYourBird [NC-17]

At first, Buffy wasn’t even sure it was him. He was all the way across the gallery, far enough that he was reduced to chiaroscuro in motion—a shock of white hair swathed in rich black leather, his eyes dark and glittering and his skin nearly ivory in the bright gallery lights.

Embers by Dusty [NC-17]

Spike's the best boyfriend. He fulfills all of Buffy's fantasies. All of them.

Night Reflections by honeygirl51885 [NC-17]

He watched her from the shadows. She was a thing of beauty, but he wanted more. Needed more, always. “I’m not what men want.” Her words were a whisper in the dark. “You think you’re not desirable?” He would show her, make her see what kind of woman she really was. Buffy and Spike embark on a night of passionate exploration, showing each other what’s reflected within.

Established Relationship:

A Different Kind of Wedding by OffYourBird [NC-17]

A panicked vampire, a shocked Angel, and smutty goodness, oh my! It sounds like a different kind of wedding is on the horizon. Join Liz and Elly in this fluffy one-shot of their wedding and vow renewal, set in the Jumpverse.

I Fought the World for Your Hand (Give My New Body a Chance) by resignedlybeneaththesky [NC-17]

On a scale of 1-10, Buffy’s idea for her Halloween costume this year probably fell on a precarious 5. It could be great, doing everything she hoped and more for both she and Spike. On the other hand, it could easily fall down the wrong side of the slippery slope into majorly bad, rehashing things best left demolished in the past. Also, recycling ideas was not the best look. But, if it worked the way she envisioned, with a hope and a prayer…it would eclipse that concern. or Buffy dresses up in 1870s fashion for Halloween and a whole lot of love ensues.

Midnight Chicken and Other Recipes Worth Living For (A Slayer's Guide to Moving Forward and Being Happy) by talesofstories [PG-13]

Spike is back in Buffy's life, and now they get to build a life together, a life that can be whatever they want it to be.

Fighting:

Chaos Bomb by bewildered [NC-17]

Ethan Rayne had grand plans when he returned to Sunnydale in 1999, but when it came down to it, turning an ex-something-or-other into a demon really wasn’t grand enough for a wizard of his caliber. Not when he and Ripper could team up to unleash a little chaos on the government’s boys instead…

Dreamer by Gort [NC-17]

Buffy might dream of a normal college life but she got stuck with an annoying vampire instead. Spike’s found the Gem of Amara, but he won’t kill her and has taken to lurking around campus. Things go from bad to worse when they’re both captured by The Initiative and Maggie Walsh takes a special interest. Is Buffy crazy for relying on a vampire to help her put a stop to the professor’s genetic experiments, or is she discovering that normal might be overrated? Begins at Harsh Light of Day before going AU.

Of Malls and Mistletoe by bookishy [NC-17]

Ethan Rayne's up to his old tricks, having hung mistletoe with the opposite of care all over the Sunnydale Mall. When it becomes clear that the only way to stop chaos from reigning over the year's biggest shopping season is for enemies to snuggle up beneath it . . . well, it's just a good thing Buffy finds Spike there after hours. Set a week after Riley's departure in "Into the Woods."

Fix-It:

Crash by Holly [NC-17]

True, Whistler sent her back to fix just one thing, but Buffy has always been rather ambitious.

Train to Nowhere by violettathepiratequeen [PG-13]

For nineteen days after the collapse of Sunnydale, Buffy dreams of being with Spike alone on a train. Unless they never were dreams...

Unconditional by violettathepiratequeen [G]

Spike dusts Drusilla at Buffy's request, but Buffy isn't prepared for the state she'll find him in after the deed is done.

Fluffy/Comedy:

Golden Hour by kennedynoelle [R]

Spike never came to Sunnydale during the first few seasons. The first time Buffy sees him is during The Harsh Light of Day, sunbathing on campus adorned with the Gem of Amara. Oh no, she thinks, the pit of her stomach dropping and sending tinglies all over, he's hot. They start dating, Buffy unaware that her new boyfriend is a member of the undead. Of course, she has to find out eventually...

Right Next (Door) to You by talesofstories [PG]

“Why don’t you and Spike just move in together?” “Because that would be really weird? We’re neighbors and friends, Dawn; it’s not like we’re dating.” Buffy firmly ignored Dawn’s muttered, “You could have fooled me.” (Buffy and Spike are neighbors, best friends, confidants. What they aren't is dating. Which is the one thing that everyone assumes they are doing.)

Valentine's Shuffle by sweetprincipale [NC-17]

Every day is full of decisions that will change where you end up. Spike and Buffy travel down a Valentine’s Day road (or roads) where different choices put them on different paths. Will one of the paths bring them together? (Note the timelines and events of season four have been altered here. Some things haven’t happened or haven’t happened yet.)

Happily Ever After:

The Blue Eye of the Storm by MaggieLaFey [NC-17]

Instead of the Scythe, what Buffy finds under the vineyard is a portal to another dimension. Spike has followed her there, and it’s the two of them that will cross the portal… and remain trapped on the other side for far longer than they’d expected. What will happen when the two of them—plus a local guide—are away from the stress of Chez Summers? Will they find some peace in the eye of the storm?

Calling My Name by MillennialCryBaby [PG-13]

Spike's been called a lot of things since he met Buffy.

Gestalt by OffYourBird [R]

A love story in pieces and parts.

Historical:

A Different Kind of Hell by OffYourBird [NC-17]

Jumping through Glory's tower portal, Buffy and Spike find themselves in a hell dimension they never expected. One that looks suspiciously like 1880's London. Will they find a way back home? Will the truth behind William the Bloody at last make itself known? Will Buffy ever stop butchering the Queen's English? Join them and find out. Starts off at the end of "The Gift."

The Darkling by OffYourBird [NC-17]

When Buffy’s quest to get Spike returned to her is fulfilled in an unexpected way, she finds herself in a complicated relationship with an intrigued master vampire who isn’t the man she loves, but who might be someday… if she can convince him to step out of the dark.

Only Time Will Tell by Grief Counseling [NC-17]

Buffy, Giles, and the rest of the Scoobies are living in London a year after the collapse of the Hellmouth. They are faced with an interesting mission to save the world: they must retrieve an artifact that was destroyed over a hundred years ago. The catch? Buffy must travel back in time to the exact location that Spike lived before he was turned to obtain the artifact. The pain of seeing him again after losing him, even in human form, might prove to be too much. Or it might be exactly what a grieving slayer needs. (Note: this post-series story does not include comics canon)

Horror:

A Matter Of Taste by Twinkles [Adult Only]

A potentially horrifying story of lust, blood and hunger when the world turns inside out. Set shortly before Buffy vs Dracula; Riley left town at the end of S4.

Cry Havoc, and Let Slip Your Heart by Touchstoneaf [Adult Only]

The Hellions have visited Sunnydale before. Here and there, in twos and threes, looking for a good time. Any hellmouth is a good time, after all. Usually they don’t stay long, since the new Slayer started to get a reputation for making good times go bad. No one wants to play when there’s a sheriff in town. But then word gets around that a vamp with a reputation of his own has joined the Slayer’s camp. That pisses off more than a few boys in the demon world; especially demons with a score to settle and a serious dislike of vamps in general, that one in particular. What’s interesting is… Once the score gets settled, the sheriff gets distracted dealing with the fallout. And all of a sudden, the town’s wide open. Or is it?

What Goes Around by celtic_goddess [NC-17]

The citizens of Sunnydale find themselves acting on their darkest desires, and the Scoobies' summer vacation hangs in the balance. When Spike turns out to be the only one Buffy can trust, her carefully constructed black-and-white world starts looking a lot gray-shadier. Set in the summer after season 4.

Humor:

Best Served Cold by Girlytek [NC-17]

Willow takes D’Hoffryn up on his offer at the end of Something Blue. Now Buffy has a new roommate. And a really big waterbed.

Big Bad Boyfriend by bewildered [NC-17]

Slayers don't get weepy when their One True Love rides off into the night for good. They get mad, and then they get even. Buffy's determined to kick off college by finding Mr. Normal, just like Angel wanted -- and then rubbing her new True Love in Angel's face. She's got the perfect normal guy all picked out, until an unexpected encounter at a party gives her a better idea. After all, who could make a worse Bad Boyfriend than Spike?

Soft Spot by bookishy [PG-13]

After five years of being together, Buffy and Spike have gotten a lot better at communicating . . . well, mostly. A scene from a calmer, gentler alternate season twelve.

Hurt/Comfort:

For You To Be You by lafillesauvage [Adult Only]

Alternate ending for 7x13 The Killer in Me. What happened after Buffy and Spike returned to an empty Revello Drive following the chipectomy? Well, in this story, Buffy realises just how much she cares for Spike, which leads to some fluffy reconciliations involving chocolate ice cream and Walker, Texas Ranger. She also gets her period, and adult-only fun is had by all.

Let me go but hold me tight by Miss Marisol [R]

This time, heartbreak isn’t the right word, she thinks; it isn’t a breaking. Isn’t a something that comes about when your world gets turned on its head—it is simply a nothing. It’s a vacancy of everything good. She had once read that darkness doesn’t exist, that it is merely the absence of light, and she remembers that she hadn’t understood the meaning of this then - but now she does. Takes place during Anya's and Xander's wedding and goes AU from there. After Buffy breaks up with Spike, she realizes that she's made a terrible mistake...

What Makes A Monster by SleepingTigress [NC-17]

After the events of Hush, Spike sees Buffy captured by the Initiative. When her friends refuse to listen to him, he decides it's up to him to rescue the Slayer. She's HIS arch enemy, after all, and no one else gets to take her out.

Lighthearted:

Geopolitical Ramifications by Sunalso [NC-17]

S4. AU during Beer Bad. A vampire walks into a bar...

Letting It Out by MaggieLaFey [G]

After the events of A Trip to the Store and Turning the Tables, Buffy is FINALLY ready for the Three Magic Words... or at least, she wants to be. If you haven't read the other two, just know that Buffy and Spike have been together for a while and have had intense (but fun!) experiences of the bedroom kind.

Shot Through the Heart by bookishy [PG-13]

When Buffy finds out an assassin is gunning for her, there's only one place to hide. Unfortunately, the amenities are a little lacking. And her new cryptmate is a little surly, because she may have kind of sort of just gotten him shot. Pay him enough, though, and he won't mind too much, right? Set in the summer between Seasons 4 and 5.

Resurrection:

If I Loved You Less by MillennialCryBaby [NC-17]

How long had Spike been gone? 147 days. 148 at midnight. Except maybe today won't count?

Midnight in Rome by Dusty [R]

It'll take more than death and a fiery apocalypse to keep them apart now.

Wine-Colored by OffYourBird [NC-17]

There are so many shades of red, but Buffy sticks to the one she knows best.

Road Trip:

Down the Road I Go by Megan_Tam [NC-17]

A Slayer. A vampire. A 1959 DeSoto. Spike kidnaps Buffy and heads back to Brazil in a misguided attempt to appease Drusilla. What starts out as revenge turns into an experience neither will forget. If they don't kill each other first.

What Remains by MrsAkers [NC-17]

As the lone survivors of the final battle with Glory, Buffy and Spike run away from Sunnydale. Battling with guilt and an unfulfilled death wish, Buffy finds solace in Spike's company while the vampire just does his best to keep her alive. Goes majorly AU at The Gift.

Wild and Wonderful by solstice [PG-13]

Dawn is nine and three quarters. She is resilient, strange and sharp as a tack. She's a credit to her big sis. But she's just been kidnapped by one of the most notorious vamps of all time - Drusilla. Things look bad. Enter Spike, her very unlikely hero. Spike's relationship with Drusilla has been on the rocks since the Acathala debacle and the morsel in the crate is her double-edged gift to him: a chance to make things right, and a chance to be really bad. Kill the girl and make it hurt. But for some reason he. just. can't. Instead, he tosses the niblet into the trunk of his Desoto and hits the road, leaving his one hundred year relationship in tatters, and grinding his reputation into the dust. Buckle your seat belts nice and tight. We're in for a bumpy ride.

Romance:

A Warm Welcome by MaggieLaFey [NC-17]

Nineteen days after “Chosen”, Spike is spit out of the amulet in Angel’s office, and two months later he becomes corporeal. It takes him longer yet to find the courage to contact a certain slayer, who won’t be too happy about the wait. But will she forgive him and use this opportunity to finally start something new?

Having a Coke With You by resignedlybeneaththesky [NC-17]

“Buffy. Hi, it’s Wesley. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.” “I recognized the voice,” she found herself saying dumbly, and it made him laugh. “Yes, quite. Listen, I apologize for calling so late—or, early, I suppose—but there’s something that I feel I need to tell you, and it can’t wait.” Leaning up against the pillows, she had let out a sigh of exasperation. “Wes, we just brought the world back from the brink a few weeks ago. I’m still healing up, the gang is scattered, and we…we lost…” “I know,” he interrupted, though not unkindly. “But that’s the thing—it’s about Spike.” Buffy’s jaw dropped, like in all those stupid movies, but she couldn’t bring herself to make a sound. Her entire body felt frozen, except for her hands, which trembled so fiercely that the phone almost slipped from her grasp. “Wh-what?” “Spike is alive, Buffy. Er, well, it’s tremendously complicated, but he’s…here. At Wolfram & Hart."

World Enough, and Time by toooldforthis [R]

“You came back wrong,” he told her, all those years ago. He was right, but it took them a very long time to realise exactly what that meant. It meant a hundred more apocalypses, a thousand battles. It meant a journey, a prophecy, a war. They’d lose one other, and find their way back, and choose, again and again. And all the while, the earth was failing. There are a lot more people than you think who are here for the long haul – like, the really long haul. This is a story about two of them.

Slow-Burn:

Choices by lafillesauvage [NC-17]

After the big showdown in L.A., the Powers That Be decide to make each of their three Champions (Buffy, Angel, and Spike) a deal, which they may or may not choose to accept. This story follows what happened after they made those choices, how their lives played out in the years that followed, and how Buffy and Spike eventually found their way back to each other.

Nemesis by Holly [NC-17]

Book II of the Yellow Brick Road series. While trying to cope with mixed feelings and brewing resentment over the fact that Spike screwed her and vanished, Buffy finds herself increasingly suspicious about Faith's close relationship with Angel. Just as things can't get any more confusing, a blond vampire she was sure she would never see again decides that it's time.

Requiem by Holly [NC-17]

Every night, he saves her. Sequel to Perchance.

Tragedy:

Meet Me at Midnight by Dusty [NC-17]

A story about the stolen midnight hours of season seven.

Ten Minutes by FlightsofFancy [R]

Buffy, alone, looking for Oz in the Initiative. She only has ten minutes. She finds someone else. Life of a hero, impossible odds.

Time by flootzavut [G]

"I'm counting on you to protect her." "Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight."

Decades later, Spike has fulfilled his promise.

#Buffy The Vampire Slayer #btvs #spuffy #ficrec #bookishy #robotgort #tales-of-stories #williamthebloodied #sunalsolove #thesunsetsandsheappears #touchstoneaf #tvylrswift #hellofawoman #lafillesauvage

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fbfh · 3 years

Text

I think you've horribly misread the situation [shitty roommate pt 2] - leo x reader

wc: 2.3k

genre: contemporary drama, you're definitly going to get second hand embarrassment, cozy fluff

pairing: leo x reader, attempted isabella x leo

reader: gender neutral, they/them

requested: hell yeah

warnings: mild swearing, roommate tries to steal your man once again, mentions of various mainstream vampire media (twilight, the vampire diaries etc.), brief mention of castlevania (even though i haven't seen it yet lol), breif mention of videogames and assassins creed, very mild delusion (roommate is secretly convinced leo is a vampire that's in love with her), attempted age gap relationship (she's 17 and leo's 19, he shuts that down real fast), very bad poetry

summary: You and Leo are both looking foward to spending a long weekend together, and Leo is determined not to let anything interrupt it, even if it means turning down your roommate's attempts to seduce him in the kitchen.

a/n: absolutley no hate or shade or judgement to anyone who has the same or similar traits as isabella!!!!!! at her core she's annoying because she's the antagonist, not bc of any isolated trait or traits

also she's shitty cause she keeps trying to steal your boyfriend?????

Edit: I forgot to mention before, but this is a college au where you're both still demigods, so you went to camp and on quests and stuff together

This weekend is going to be all about recharging. Recharging from the ridiculous back to back closing and opening shifts at work, recharging from having to redo that stupid project twice because your professor couldn’t decide on a clear way to define the criteria, and recharging from Isabella having her townie friend Regan over almost non stop to “completely shake up her look” as she put it.

Between the constant presence of someone you’d barely consider an acquaintance and Big Time Rush’s self titled album blasting on repeat out of her giant airpod shaped speaker, it’s been harder than usual to get in some effective self care. You have no idea how many more times you can hear the phrase “I’m going for Jade West meets Elena Gilbert, with just a little Buffy Summers” before you lose your fucking mind.

Thankfully, the hard part is almost over. There’s some minor holiday tomorrow on friday, so you and Leo both have a three day weekend ahead of you, which you intend to spend entirely together. You planned ahead, frontloading homework, chores, errands, and everything you could think of to remove anything that isn’t cuddling or playing video games and watching netflix together from your horizon.

This includes going straight from work to the grocery store to stock the fridge and get any snacks you and Leo want. You had texted him a while ago asking for anything he was craving, and head into the store with a concrete list. After a while, you circle around some aisles, avoiding the check out.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you muse, knowing it’s untrue, but hoping to trigger a memory anyway. You can’t put it off any longer, finally checking out and heading back to your apartment. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t avoiding Isabella just a little.

You know bringing in all these groceries would be way easier with Isabella and possibly Regan’s help, but you just don’t have the social energy to talk to anyone, much less her, right now. By some miracle, you bring everything in yourself, and hope to get it put away before you see Isabella.

You turn to the freezer, putting away the ice cream. When you turn back around, you’re suddenly met face to face with Isabella, who has opened one of the boxes and is picking at a pastry.

“Hey girlie,” she says, elongating the hey.

“Hey,” you reply lethargically, putting the last of the groceries away. She looks at the pastry in her hand like she’s just noticing it.

“Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m italian.” She smiles, endeared by her own behavior. You have no idea what being italian has to do with asking before you open a box of your roommate’s food, but this really isn’t out of character for her. She brings up the fact that she’s half italian more than Lele Pons blames her behavior on being latina.

She’s wearing sweatpants that say chaser on the leg in red and gold varsity font, and a tight tee shirt that says “it’s okay to love them both” with silhouettes of the male love interests from one of the vampire shows she always watches. You collect the plastic bags to put in recycling, and see a piece of paper on the counter.

It reads as follows:

Drowning in my mind

No one hears me cry

Who was I before society

Before society put me in a pink dress

And handed me blonde hair dye

And told me to lose ten pounds or be labeled a freak?

The happiest people cry the most

Let the lyrics be your story

But I’m not like the other skinny blonde pretty girls

I’m

Different

-b.g. xox

You hold back a sigh.

“I think this is yours.” you say, handing it to her.

“Oh, it’s just some of my poetry I left lying around, that’s so embarrassing.”

I know, you think, you do that all the time.

“Did you read it?” She asks, hopefully.

“Nope.”

“Thank god, that would have been so embarrassing. My poetry is something really… deep, and personal to me.”

“Uh huh. Hey, I’m going to be doing a lot of self care this weekend, so-”

“Oh!” she interjects, eerily similar to Phoebe Buffay - you guess she’s been watching friends again - “I wanted to ask… is Leo coming over later?” Her voice is riddled with subtext, the expression on her face a little too invested in your answer.

“Uh, yeah. I told you the other day we’re spending the weekend together…”

She cuts you off again, a sudden, intense look on her face.

“When will he be here?”

You check your phone, scrolling through your recent texts.

“By 7 at the latest.” It’s around 6:40 now.

“Oh my god, I have to change,” she rushes back to her room, presumably digging through her recent additions to her closet.

You’re frozen for a minute after the interaction, left with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a headache. You blink, then choose to reschedule processing why she feels the need to change for your boyfriend to a more convenient time. That’s enough of that for today. You don’t care what else happens, you’re not talking to anyone besides Leo for at least the rest of the day. You retreat to your room to finally shower and change into something comfy. As you pass by Isabella’s room, you hear her talking to Regan.

“...There’s something almost… supernatural about him.”

You bite back a laugh.

“Do you think he’s a…” Regan begins, ending the sentence with something too quiet to hear, but you’d bet almost any organ she said vampire.

So close. So, so close, and yet… here you are.

Not much later, Leo texts you to let you know he’s here. You read his text, and run out to hug him in the living room before even typing a reply. He picks you up, and spins you around. The embrace is warm and fulfilling and familiar, and you wish it would last forever.

“Hi, Sparky.” you murmur into his neck.

“Estrella…” he says, rocking you back and forth gently and pressing a kiss into your jawline, “I missed you so much.” He punctuates the sentence with another kiss, this one to your lips, and you smile more genuinely than you have all day. You’re about to agree when you remember the good news you’ve been saving to tell him in person.

“Guess what I got on sale for like, half off,” you start, excitedly, continuing at his invested expression, “the Assassin’s Creed bundle I showed you!”

“No way,” he starts, and you nod.

“I’ll go get everything set up, drinks are in the kitchen!” He watches you retreat into your room, disbelieving how he could possibly get someone as perfect as you to fall for him. He’s not going to question his luck. He grabs a couple caffeinated sparkling ices, and meets you in your room, setting down his bag and grabbing some comfy clothes to change into.

As you both get settled in, you fill each other in on all the ridiculous shit you’ve been through this week. You finally conclude the bizarre - yet somehow standard - Isabella escapades.

“So I will be avoiding all contact as much as possible,” you laugh.

“Yeah, no shit,” he agrees, “Consider me your human buffer.” You thank him, hugging him again and pressing a kiss to his lips.

The next couple hours are spent cuddling and finishing season 4 of Castlevania. Both reeling from the season finale, you agree this is a good place to take a break, get some food, and decide what game you should start with. It’s already 10pm, which most people would consider too late for dinner, but you have all weekend to fuck up your sleep schedules.

“Let’s review,” Isabella says, holding up two red lipsticks. She turns to Regan. “Which one?”

“That one,” Regan says, pointing to the one on the left, then turns to her list, and continues. “Here’s what we know; we’ve never seen him eat, and he never seems tired. He’s really smart-”

“Almost too smart,” Isabella adds, selecting black rose dangle earrings from her jewelry. Regan agrees, and continues.

“He’s almost hypnotically attractive, and his smile is a little too dazzling.”

“There’s something… supernatural about him. Like he’s not… all human.”

Regan writes this down.

“Plus he’s always wearing black and red, and those flowy button up shirts? It’s all adding up, Ree. That dream that someone was outside my window, the ring, everything…” She says, referencing the black and red cocktail ring she’d found with her stuff when she’d first moved, “I’m not saying it’s definite, just that… there’s a chance.”

“What about…” Regan says hesitantly, nodding toward your room.

“Please,” she scoffs, “he’s only with them to get close to me, like Damon and Caroline. Edward couldn’t have just approached Bella out of the blue, he had to infiltrate her friend group first, to seem less suspicious. Not to sound mean or anything, but they really don’t seem like the type someone… like him… would choose.” her voice gets dreamy when she mentions him.

In spite of having seen most mainstream vampire media almost as many times as Isabella, Regan still considers her the expert on these things, and decides not to point out that Edward didn’t infiltrate Bella’s friend group. Maybe it comes up in one of the retellings she hasn’t read yet.

“So, what now?”

Isabella sets down her lipstick, and turns to her friend.

“I tell him.”

Regan’s eyes widen.

“You’re going to tell him you know?”

“No… not yet. It’s too soon, we don’t have enough evidence. I’m going to tell him I know he’s in love with me, then once he’s secure in our relationship... we’ll see where it goes.”

She stands up, assessing herself in the mirror. She chose her outfit carefully; short red dress with black roses and black mesh collar, black rose bracelet to match her earrings, snug faux leather jacket, and black stiletto ankle booties with a very skinny heel, the zipper on the outside gold, not silver. She fluffs her wavy hair and turns towards the door. She looks back one more time, holding onto the doorway.

“Wish me luck.”

Leo enters the kitchen, seeing Isabella already there, leaning against the counter seductively. She’s wearing an outfit and jewelry this late at night that makes Leo wonder if she’s going to an emo tea party. He puts the takeout in the microwave. She’s still staring at him.

“Uh… hey.”

She lets out a dainty giggle, looking him up and down.

“... Hi.”

At a loss for words, and really wanting the awkward silence to be over, he continues, “Did you need something?”

“What I need,” she walks closer to him, tracing her finger over his collar, “is you.”

What the fuck?

His brain seems to stall for a moment, and she uses this opportunity to continue.

“I know why you’re here. I know that you’re only using them to get closer to me. I know-”

“Woah-”

“That you’re in love with me.”

Okay, double what the fuck.

She takes his stunned silence as shyness, and steps closer, putting her arms around his shoulders.

“You don’t need to play so coy, I-”

This time she’s the one that gets cut off. He grabs her arms and gently steps away, trying to make it abundantly clear that he’s not into this.

“Woah, okay, slow down. First of all, you’re 17 and I’m turning 20 in a couple months, so that’s a hard no. Second, I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am not dating them to get closer to you. We’ve known each other since we were like, 15, and have been through everything together. I’ve only known you for a couple months. I love them. Probably more than I’ve loved anything ever. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

He doesn’t want to be mean, he really doesn’t, but he can tell from the look on her face that she still thinks this is all part of some game.

“So why don’t I ever see you eat? Why are you so smart, and always up at night? I know what you are.”

He has to physically hold back a laugh. He takes a step back, and places his hands on the counter.

“Isabella, I have adhd. And I’m literally an engineering student. Why wouldn’t I be smart and have a shitty sleep schedule?”

She starts to protest, and he pulls out the reheated take out from the microwave.

“And for the record, I do eat.”

Exiting the kitchen quickly and retreating back to your room, he hands you your food.

“I got the game set up!” you say excitedly.

“Nice!”

You take one look at his face and can tell something happened. He sees this, and continues.

“I just had a very… interesting interaction with Isabella,” before he finishes the sentence, your head is already in your hands. You let out a groan.

“What did she do?” you mutter from behind your hands.

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back.

“I’m not totally sure,” you laugh, “but I think she thinks I’m secretly in love with her…” you’re both laughing before he can even finish the sentence.

“No…” you laugh, “no fucking way…”

“Believe me, I put an end to that as soon as it started.”

“Oh, I do.”

He runs his hand over your back, and you’re quiet for a moment.

“You know,” he continues, “I think getting our own place has definitely moved up the priority list.”

You couldn’t agree more.

#leo valdez x reader #leo x reader #leo valdez #leo valdez imagine #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader

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herinsectreflection · 3 years

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I want to talk about this scene, from Bargaining when Willow kills the fawn. You might guess from my icon that I am a big fan of this scene. It's pretty short but it sets the stage for Willow's arc throughout S6 excellently.

It opens with her in this gorgeous riverside greenery, dressed in pure white, the very picture of fairytale innocence, bathed in bright sunlight. It's such an unusual shot for the show, which almost exclusively either has shots inside or at night (for obvious reasons of being a vampire show), and that immediately makes it quite memorable. Especially as the rest of the episode is almost entirely set at night, filled with demon bikers, dismemberment, fire, broken down towers and digging out of graves. It's like this little meditative moment of peace in between all that.

Or, it would be if it didn't include a teensy little animal sacrifice.

WILLOW: Adonai, Helomi, Pine. Adonai, Helomi, Pine. The gods do command thee from thy majesty. O Mappa Laman, Adonai, Helomi.

Willow says her words and summons forth a young fawn from the trees. The fawn is another symbol of innocence, like Willow's white dress. As she reaches out and and touches the animal gently, we're reminded of the soft innocent Willow of S1, who shied away from any conflict and seemed incapable of ever hurting a fly. She's like a disney princess, sitting in the woods singing to woodland animals. Only Snow White never stabbed Bambi in the heart.

The entire plot of the previous season revolved around the blood sacrifice of a child. This is what Glory was trying to achieve, and it's what Buffy has to stop. Buffy gives her life in order to stop it. And now, Willow recreates the same event, performing the blood sacrifice what is specifically an animal child. She steps into the role that the previous season's Big Bad performed, and so tells us that this season, she is stepping into the role of Big Bad. The fawn fills the role of Dawn - the situations rhyme as well as the names do.

Fun fact - the words that Willow uses are taken from The Book of Ceremonial Magic, a 1910 book that compiled various grimoires. In this passage, describing an invocation to request something from God, Adonai/Helomi/Pine are the names of angels - specifically the angels of the East, who appear in human form dressed in lily white according to this passage - another link to Willow's costume here. The invocation seems to involve requesting these angels to appear to the caster in an intelligible form.

ADONAI, HELOMI, PINE, Whom you obey, do invoke, conjure and entreat thee, N., that thou wilt appear forthwith. By the virtue and power of the same God I do command thee from thine order or place of abode to come unto me and skew thyself plainly here before me in thine own proper shape and glory, speaking in a voice intelligible to mine understanding.

In this case, Willow is symbolically killing an actual angel of heaven, which is probably pretty high up on the villainy scale. Just drives home the fundamental Wrongness of this scene. It's also good to remember that the idea of killing one to save other(s) is a theme returned to again and again throughout the show, and the first major example of that theme in action is a certain Angel.

(Credit to this user on BuffyBoards for finding the source of these words.)

So the fawn is Dawn, and the fawn is an angel. But most importantly of all - the fawn is Buffy. Willow, in her attempts to bring Buffy back to life, first has to kill "Buffy".

WILLOW: Come forward, Blessed one. Know your calling.

The fawn is described as having a "calling" that it must "know", just as Buffy has a calling of her own, which over the course of many seasons she learns to know and accept (and eventually revolutionise and reject). It is also described as "Blessed", which in some definitions is taken to mean "one who is with God in heaven". Buffy at this point is literally in heaven (or at least some kind of heaven dimension, the theology is gratefully vague). The structure of the phrase "Blessed one" also reminds of the more relevant phrase - "Chosen One", which again would be Buffy. The spell ingredient, which we know is the fawn's blood, is called "vino de madre" - wine of the mother, implying a feminine source of power, just like The Slayer.

WILLOW: Accept our humble gratitude for your offering. In death ... you give life. May you find wings to the kingdom. In death, you give life. You might say that death... is your gift... yeah, so this really drives it home for me. Using death to give life is literally what Buffy has just done. It was core to her arc last season. And finally the "wings to the kingdom" line again plays into that heaven imagery. S6 loves this kind of imagery for Buffy, even giving her angel wings in one of the most delightfully on-the-nose shots in the show.

Buffy gave her life to give Dawn one, and with it gave a warning about the struggles of life - "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.". This is sad but lovely advice that Buffy herself must now spend S6 gradually learning to understand herself. She learns how to deal with the crushing despair of day-to-day existence. Willow, as the Big Bad of this season, doesn't understand this advice at all. For years now, Willow has used magic as a short-cut to avoid actually dealing with her emotions (see Lover's Walk, Something Blue, Tough Love). This goes into overdrive in S6, and it starts with her desperation to bring Buffy back to avoid really dealing with the reality of her death.

In fact it goes beyond magic - Willow is also the one who uses her tech knowledge to bring the Buffybot back online. She uses all her skills to desperately fill in the hole that Buffy has left behind. This is what Willow does, magic or no. And it's sympathetic - my heart breaks every time she talks about fearing where Buffy might have ended up - but it's not totally rational or healthy either. The main problem is that Willow, in doing this, is ignoring Buffy's final words, and misunderstanding the central theme.

As said earlier, by performing this blood sacrifice of a child, Willow is betraying the memory of Buffy, who died to stop one. (Symbolically of course. Morally there are light years between killing an animal and killing a teenager). Buffy gave her life to stop a blood sacrifice, and so Willow reverses the process - causing a blood sacrifice to give Buffy her life. And she betrays Buffy's final words with her refusal to accept the pain of life and live with it. And finally, she betrays Buffy spiritually.

Remember that Willow is Buffy's metaphorical Spirit, as shown in Primeval. It is a special kind of betrayal that Buffy's Spirit breaks her spiritually in this season. She literally rips her soul out of eternal bliss and contentment, causing an existential break within her. She beseeches the fawn/Buffy to find "wings to the kingdom", but in doing so robs Buffy of her wings.

Buffy suffers brutal depression this season, and describes it many times as feeling dead inside. This kind of emotional deadness is caused directly by her ressurection (though severely exacerbated by her unresolved trauma, grief over Joyce, and generally just living under capitalism). Willow has tried to give death to bring life, but because the action is a betrayal of Buffy on many levels, the act is tainted, and perverted, like a wish on a monkey's paw. She literally kills metaphorical Buffy, and so metaphorically kills literal Buffy. Buffy has life, but said life is causing a kind of death within her.

And what does Willow get for all this? Her pain isn't fixed by all this. She just gets blood on her hands (and later on her face). It sets off a chain of events that will end with far more blood on Willow's hands. She dips a toe into a darkness, but because she doesn't understand fully the emotions that have taken her there, she can't exert any control over it. She doesn't learn a lesson here that she shouldn't try to shape the world to deal with her emotions. Instead, she learns that she has power over life and death.

Willow is clearly deeply shaken by this, but it's not nearly enough to make her change her path. She ignores the very obvious foreshadowing here - her hands literally coated in blood - and carries on anyway. She takes the wrong lessons from this moment, which she clearly demonstrates in her argument with Giles in Flooded, where she ignores his anger over how she's warped the rules of nature, and instead focuses on how awesome she is ("The magicks I used are very powerful. I'm very powerful. And maybe it's not such a good idea for you to piss me off.")

This is a small scene, but it sets up so much for Willow. It shows how far she has come from the meek girl of S1. And it shows a glimpse of the future, how she has far to go but is now on a path to become the villain she is at the end of S6. She starts it by killing metaphorical Buffy in order to save her, and will end it by trying to kill actual Buffy in order to emotionally "save" her. At every point she can justify the blood on her hands as serving some greater purpose - but the blood is still there.

#willow rosenberg #meta #btvs #s6 #bargaining #symbolism

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marvelatthetwilight · 3 years

Text

Let me introduce myself

Requested

Shout out to @volturi-stuff for the prompt list.

Anonymous said:

Okay after discovering the list could I request a demetri with a 2,3,16,17,19,21,39 and a 40 pretty please 🙏

2 - "I need your cuddles to live!" 3 - "What do you mean? I absolutely adore you, Love!" 16 - "I need your attention to thrive!" 17 - "So... Vampire huh? I've always had a crush on Angel from buffy, but hey now I have one!" 19 - "Hey, my love! I need your kisses." 21 - "I'm sorry I'm so soft..." "No... Don't apologize you're perfect, baby." 39 - "Come, watch the vampire diaries with me!" "Please stop with the vampire jokes." 40 - "Will you hold me?"

A/N: As it’s Demetri, I switched out the baby for principessa, because, why not?

“I just feel like you’re being very distant. You’re so secretive. I’ve never been to your house, we always just stay here, and you never sleep over. If you don’t want to be with me just say.” You cry as you sit up in bed, watching Demetri get dressed, getting ready to leave you yet again.

“What do you mean? I absolutely adore you, Love!” He stops getting dressed and rushes to you, cupping your face with his hands.

“I just...I need more from you. I need your cuddles to live! I need your attention to thrive!” You look down at your lap, fiddling with your fingers nervously. “I’m sorry I’m so soft...”

“No!...Don’t apologise, you’re perfect principessa.” He says softly, wiping away a tear that had escaped out the corner of your eye.

He lifts up the covers and climbs into bed beside you. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

You look up at him quizzically, motioning for him to continue.

“I’ve been fearful of telling you the truth, because it will change things. Will change the way you see me. I fear you won’t want to be near me, won’t want me to kiss you...”

You cut him off, this time it was your turn to comfort him. “Hey, my love! I need your kisses. There is no way that will ever change!” To prove your words, you kiss him fiercely, then rest your head on his shoulder.

“I hope not. Erm...so let me introduce myself, properly. My full name is Demetri Volturi. I don’t stay over night because I don’t...sleep. We don’t go out for dinner because I don’t eat...well, not human food... I’m...a vampire.” He looks down at you, your head still resting on him, but he realises your body has tensed up with the revelation.

“I would never cause you harm though Y/N. I love you.” He reassures you, sitting forward to look you in the eye.

You avoid his gaze initially, taking time to think through what he has said. You know he wants reassurance, and whilst this doesn’t change how you feel about him, you need some time to process. Suddenly everything makes sense, things he has said that made you wonder, made you question.

Turning to look at him, you smile flirtily. “So...vampire, huh? I’ve always had a crush on Angel from Buffy, but hey, now I have one!” You laugh as he rolls his eyes at you.

“You had me worried then. I thought you were going to tell me to leave!”

“Never! I still mean everything I said. This doesn’t change anything. I still love you, you’re still you after all...aren’t you?” You sit back, taking him in, his shirt half done up, parts of his chest and abs peeking through. He watches you carefully, unsure if any quick movements will spook you. “If I’m entirely honest, I always thought there was something ‘other-worldly’ about you. I just thought you were crazy out of my league, but turns out you are also out of my species too!”

“So...where does this leave us?” He asks tentatively.

“Same as before, for me. But without you being a pain in my neck and leaving me.” Demetri narrows his eyes.

“Hey, Dem, what’s a vampire’s favourite shade of lipstick?” You ask, your eyes glinting with mischief.

Eyes still narrowed, Demetri takes the bait. “I don’t know Y/N”.

“Blood red.”

You press your lips together, trying not to laugh. Demetri stays straight-faced.

“What’s a vampire’s favourite flavour ice cream?”

“We don’t eat ice cream Y/N.” Demetri responds, deadpan.

“Just go with it. It’s my way of coping.” You nudge his arm.

“I don’t know Y/N, what is a vampire’s favourite flavour ice cream?” Again, deadpan.

“Veinilla!” You can hold in the laughter no longer, bursting out laughing, holding on to his arm, trying to steady your breathing.

As you finally manage to get your breath back, you notice he is smiling too.

“There he is! There’s my beautiful guy!” He smiles wider now. “Don’t be so serious. There’s nothing that could change how I feel for you. Honestly.”

He leans over to kiss you.

You fling away the covers and grab your robe, slipping on your slippers.

“Come, watch the Vampire Diaries with me! I want to know what’s true and what’s not, first hand.” You hold a hand out to him, but he stays seated on the bed.

“Please, just stop with the vampire jokes.”

“I make no promises.” You joke in response. Noticing that Demetri’s face is still serious, you pout, pulling yourself together and deciding to stop joking.

“Come cuddle with me, we never get to do this. This is what I’ve always wanted with you, and now I know everything, we can. We can just lay on the couch and watch stupid TV together. Will you just hold me? Please?”

Demetri’s serious expression cracks, and he smiles softly.

“Of course, principessa. I love you. I will hold you for as long as you want me to.”

Taglist:

@volturiwolf @wallwriterstuff @volturidoll13 @like-rain-or-confetti @moviequeen51 @raindancer2004 @officialfictionalwreck @megzdoodle @slasher-sweetie @reclusive-chicken-nugget @holl2712 @icarusinstatic @imdoingathingmom @fanfic-love-show @volturiwolf @awesomebooklover17

#demetri imagine #twilight x reader #demetri volturi #demetri x reader #volturi #demetri imagines #the twilight saga

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chasingfictions · 2 years

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Hello have seen your posts about your ats rewrite and I am interested!! But also am a bit confused where to start w it or what order to read things in? Do you have like a master post or smth of your fic? Premise sounds amazing

aaaa thank u so much!! i dont have a masterpost but this is a great opportunity to make one!

series title is don't know how to stick around, but i wanna ... because i hate brevity :)

all the fics in the series are in chronological order to how they appear on ao3, and u can find that page here. that said, while there are pieces of continuity that carry through, i do try to write them more or less readable as stand-alones, so no need to necessarily read in order! if there's continuity from previous fics that's relevant, i generally drop a lil previously-on in the notes.

anyway, this is first and foremost a series about faith! it is second and uh... secondmost? a series about what if ats didnt hate women. ats has this tendency to get tired of women characters and shove them out of the narrative and say no more story for you, and i um. hate that. a lot. so this is a series where Faith Gets To Have More Story, but critically so does darla and cordelia and fred and lilah :) the whole gang's here :)

definitely a series that features heavy fuffy, and has a kind-of fuffy endgame but also a kind-of-not fuffy endgame, in that im interested in writing buffy as a part of faith's story, but not the center of it? also includes to a less focused extent - cangel, frunn, faith/anne steele, faith/darla, spuffy, some background tillow and xanya too. upcoming fics will almost certainly include weslah, faith/gwen raiden, and very possibly lilah/harmony? whole series also features very strong faith-cordy friendship and faith-angel siblingship

anyway! the fics!

1. where would i even start | time period: "sanctuary" and immediate aftermath | 6k words

(In which stabbing fantasies are Faith’s coping mechanism; Cordelia is always right; No one goes to jail; and Faith is just trying to figure out whatever the hell it means to be the Slayer again.)

i said hey what would happen if faith didnt go to jail in sanctuary and now uh. record scratch freeze frame i guess im writing an entire ats rewrite novel :) im fine u guys :)

2. when do i get better? | time period: back end of ats s1 | 10k words

(In which Faith has trauma dreams, attempts girl talk with Cordelia, tries to hit Angel playfully but keeps actually injuring him, is still trying to work out what it means to be the Slayer again. And in which, most importantly, Faith is a lesbian but still doesn’t know it yet.)

not terribly plotty -- more about setting the landscape for the emotional stakes of the rest of the series. giving faith some breathing room to process trauma and have things be slow and painful in a necessary way for a while

3. what if there’s nothing wrong with me? | time period: summer between ats s1-s2 to very early ats s2 | 12k words

(in which Faith and Gunn are besties, Gunn is a fanboy for slayers, Cordy thinks she’s the best friend in a romcom but doesn’t understand which kind of romcom, Lorne is a gay icon, and in which, most importantly, Faith is a lesbian but she knows it this time.)

definitely the fuffiest this series has been so far (up until the upcoming installment which is very fuffy). faith is gay!! this is a fic about how faith is gay

4. we’re five by five over here, baby. | time period: back half of ats s2 | 32k words

(in which Faith and Wesley go to family therapy, someone has a post-funeral threesome and shockingly it’s not Faith, Faith can’t stop calling Angel “big guy,” and in which Faith attempts to be a fuckboy but ends up uhauling hard.)

The One Where Faith Gets to Be Happy. faith has a girlfriend! faith is thriving! things still hurt a lot but faith is! happy! when you get! down to it! also including a decently sizeable sunnydale crossover for Joyce's funeral

5. this my grave or yours? | time period: between btvs s5 and btvs s6 | 44k words

(In which there’s only one Slayer left standing, but someone still has to guard the fucking Hellmouth. Also, in which Anya enforces mandatory fun, Spike’s best friend is Dawn and everyone agrees that’s really lame of him, and Giles wants to be invited to Build-a-Bear. But, mostly, in which it all just hurts. All the time.)

btvs s5-s6 interlude fics are one of my favorite genres of fic bc i love suffering i guess, and that's very much what this is. faith and the scoobies having big time grief all the time. not really an ats fic except for a few ats character cameos.

6. what's a family look like? | time period: early-mid ats s3 | 28k words

(In which Darla and Angel are toxic coparents; no one dies of a mystical pregnancy; and the Fang Gang can’t stop flirting with each other. And in which Faith keeps thinking about her mom, even though she really, really doesn’t wanna.)

darla doesnt die! a fic about how darla doesnt die! this is the least faith-centric of the fics so far, plot-wise, because there's just a lot of ats arc stuff to contend with as we get into the later seasons, but faith's experience is obv still the emotional center

7. [TBA] it’s not how i thought it would be | time period: second half of ats s3 | ... still in draft but currently we're at uhhh... 50k words? and i still have the whole final arc to write??? so.....

this is basically the chaos one. gunn/fred/wes love triangle. groo/cordy/angel love triangle. buffy/faith/darla love triangle. spike/buffy/faith love triangle. briefly a faith/willow/tara love triangle??? everyone goes to xanya's wedding? it's all a lot?? i still have to write all the connor wesley prophecy stuff but uh. that sure is also gonna be a part of it.

8. [????] ats s4/btvs s7 fic?

most likely will be more than one fic because that's a Lot of content but yeah

9. [????] post-chosen btvs / ats s5???

also probably will be more than one fic. im going to be writing this series forever you guys. it's okay.

10. [????] epilogue-y gift fic for @episode5s my beloved

this isnt going to have any bearing on plot or arcs but WILL be fun :) we can have a little domestic fluff. as a treat.

11. [?????] i have this vague idea about doing kind of an a visit to the goon squad style anthology fic set in this verse.

it's about all the ats women side characters lives intertwining in standalone short stories??? focusing on (as far as my very vague plan goes) kate, drusilla, darla, gwen, lilah, and harmony.

that's it! that's the series!!!!!!! as you can see these keep getting longer and fucking longer every fucking time so uh. yeah :))))) this is gonna be a long time going!!!! im prob just gonna use this ask as a masterpost going forward and will edit in the new fics as they come and re-reblog it :)

#my fic #ask #this is me going insane!!!! this series is about the slow process of me going insane!!!!!!!!!!

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letteredlettered · 3 years

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Hello! You already told us what you think about Ron, but what are your thoughts on Ginny Weasley? Pretty controversial figure in drarry fandom, yet you have a fanfic about her

That's one of the fics I'm prouder of! You can read it here.

This got long, so here you go:

When I first started reading HP I loved Ginny and wanted her to hook up with Harry. I really identify with youngest-girl-lots-of-brothers, so I could see the attention she wanted and the way Ron dismissed her was familiar to me. In the second book, I was a bit disappointed that she ended up mostly being a victim, but after I processed it I was happy she would have to face the darkness of being used in such a way. Ginny murdered chickens and wrote on walls in blood and was responsible for kids getting petrified; even if she was being possessed, she can remember her hands doing those things. I assumed at some point Harry would have to face a darkness within himself, and I felt like CoS positioned Ginny to understand and identify with him in a way others--who had not been possessed--could not.

Ginny wasn't a big feature in PoA or GoF, which was disappointing In OotP, I was disappointed at first that Ginny seemed to be growing up without much "screen-time", as it were, and seemed to have her own interest in guys other than Harry. I was a shipper! I'm ashamed! Once I had time to process, again, I realized I far preferred a Ginny who had moved on from Harry and could be her own person. That way, they could be more like equals when they eventually got together.

In HBP, I really rooted for her going her own way--but also began to feel pretty confused. I didn't understand how she could be Harry's love interest with so little attention paid to her. And then the romance did start, and it felt--completely out of the blue for me? Especially when it happened right after a very powerful scene in which Harry almost made someone bleed to death, and especially when it seemed to have more to do with Quidditch and Dean Thomas than Ginny herself. And then Ginny was barely in DH, which made me wonder why the romance even existed in the first place.

I think a big part of the problem for me is the love interests I enjoy in fiction share goals and are an important and equal part of both the characters' lives. Harry going camping to fight Voldemort while Ginny stays at Hogwarts feels a little to me like the fantasy of the wife you come home to, the one who waits. By DH, Ginny shouldn't join in the adventure; she has no place there. Furthermore, we all hope that Harry gets to move on and have a life after Hogwarts; Ginny can become central to him then in a way she wasn't earlier in life. People you end up with don't have to be the people who were the centers of our young lives--and in most cases, they probably shouldn't be!

But it doesn't make for a good story, and frankly, I have difficulty identifying with it. I have trouble understanding couples who seem to live in separate worlds. I don't mean that a person can't have their own friends and interests; having some aspects of your life that don't belong to your partner is good and healthy. But Harry starting a romance with Ginny when Ginny is never involved in anything he does is as weird to me as if I were to have a relationship with someone and never ever share my fandoms with them. That's just the way I am.

I do think this is a classic problem in Hero's Journey stories, in that the most important person to the hero is the villain they're trying to defeat. See Star Wars. Luke's most important relationship is with Vader, which is why it makes sense to discard Leia as his love interest by writing her as his sister. Aang's most important relationship is with Zuko and then Ozai, which is one reason Katara/Aang falls flat. I think a lot of this has to do with the propensity for creators (generally male) to make both the central hero and the central villain male, and an unwillingness to really tackle the homoeroticism inherent in the central relationships. The narratives I can think of with central female protagonists, like Buffy, are give male counterparts who function as both villains and love interests.

I'm making some sweeping statements here; it's not true for all heroes journey stories, but I think it's why you see Hermione and Ron paired off. Harry's central relationship is Voldemort, and if you scale that down, you can make Draco Harry's central relationship, because Draco is a pawn of Voldemort. Now, I have argued quite stridently that Draco is only peripheral to Harry's life, and I stand by that statement most fervently--but that is according to Harry. According to the structure of the narrative, you can replace Voldemort with Draco under and umbrella of "evil/Death Eater/foe." By doing so, you can deal with issues that are very central to Harry's story.

As for Ginny herself, in the end, she suffers from the exact same problem as Ron, and so many other characters in HP. In other words, the set-up is there, but the execution is not. Ginny is the youngest of seven in a loving, magical family. In that way, she is a perfect counterpoint to the loneliness and negligence and Muggleness Harry experiences growing up. Yet, in such a large family, Ginny has to understand what it feels like to be overlooked and ignored--in that way, she's in a perfect position to understand and identify with some of Harry's isolation.

Ginny is the only other person in the book besides Harry to be possessed by Voldemort. (The only classmate to come close to having a similar experience is Draco, and his mind and body are not possessed at all, not like Ginny's or Harry's.) As such, she's also perfectly positioned to identify with a lot of Harry's trauma. She's also perfectly positioned to hate Voldemort with a very personal passion that's different from Ron or Hermione--Voldemort befriended her in the journal, and then violated her; it's very different than hating Voldemort on principle.

But in the end these aspects of Ginny just aren't utilized. We never see what she suffers in CoS really resonate. We never really learn the effect her family has on her, or even really who she is, other than that she is sporty, tough, and pretty. It's difficult to dislike Ginny Weasley, because the way she's written does her such a disservice, and she could have been such a brilliant character. She's just a lot of wasted potential, in my opinion, but those last two books certainly killed my whole Harry/Ginny shipper heart.

#ginny weasley

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