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silverwhittlingknife · 3 days

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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have. If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one. (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him. When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3

#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs #tim drake #dick grayson #somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post #about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs #and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better #and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other #2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc #but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head #but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing #and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter #not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better #but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong #all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3 #anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them #and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood #but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333 #ask tag #dick&tim

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artdcnaldson · 2 days

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In part 2 you mentioned Patrick x reader having makeup sex after they got into stupid argument…. Can we get a flashback to one of those moments🤭🤭 domestic Patrick starting an argument with reader and reader calling him out about it but they end up making up in a cute way. Like Patrick making it up in a corny but cute way??? Just a suggestion, part 2 was amazing btw!

Rating: T

Warnings: just a minor argument, language ofc

A/N: thank youuuu!!! No smut in this little blurb, just a snapshot of domestic Patrick x reader in the changeover au 🫶🫶🫶

Also working on art x reader first time and also Patrick x reader first I love you blurbs for the changeover au :) so those will be coming sooooon

It was easy to let the stupid arguments devolve. It started with a facial expression when you brought up your college roommate’s wedding. An eye roll, an I-don’t-want-to-fucking-deal-with-that. And that became your, “why do you treat my friends and my life as less important?”

“I can’t fucking believe you got that out of me wanting to ditch Katie’s wedding to her dickhead loser fiancé.” Patrick’s words came out so flippant that it infuriated you further. “You don’t even talk to her outside of Facebook comments.”

“I’m sorry, Patrick. I didn’t realize that you’d be so fucking opposed to free food and booze considering you live off of it.”

Patrick set his jaw, glaring at you. It was a low blow, one you knew would sting. “I’m opposed to wasting my time flying out to bum fuck Iowa to because Katie— who has always hated me, by the way— is marrying some dickhead who’s a shill for a corrupt asshole in congress.”

You rolled your eyes. “Maybe she would like you, Patrick, if you ever put in an ounce of effort with anyone besides me.”

“Right, because I need to be friends with the kind of people whose proposal was a flash mob.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Right, because you’re just too cool for stuff like that.”

It was so fucking like him— making fun of the lame proposals your friends got, or their baby names, or their engagement shoots. Sometimes they were lame— flash mobs were fucking stupid— but sometimes they were sweet, and romantic, and there was Patrick acting like he’d rather blow his brains out than ever publicly admit he cared.

“Yeah, I am.” He said back.

You rolled your eyes and stood. “Whatever, Patrick. I’ll RSVP for one, again, and you can bum around my apartment alone.”

You had slammed the bedroom door before he could respond, which left him alone and seething in the living room.

You heard the front door open, then slam shut, signaling that Patrick was going out for a smoke, or a walk, or something.

You opened Facebook and scrolled through your feed. Katie’s engagement photos, a coworker’s new baby, a college friend’s bachelorette weekend. And there you were, fighting so your boyfriend would finally be your plus one to something.

It wasn’t always his fault— he had tournaments, and commitments. But a lot of the time, it was an active dismissal of things you found important— engagement parties, friends visiting the city, the increasingly common baby shower.

You didn’t blame him. Adult stuff sucked, and it was almost always boring and agonizingly slow. But you just wanted him to show up with you for things that were big.

It would be stupid to break up over Katie, who you genuinely weren’t even that close to. She’d been a decent friend Freshman year, you supposed, but that was the extent of it. The invitation to the wedding was probably a formality.

All you wanted was an excuse to show off your super hot, super cool boyfriend. To get tipsy over free booze, then leave the wedding early to fuck in the shitty Best Western hotel room that wedding guests would get a discount rate on.

A few hours later, the front door opened, and you sat up against the headboard, waiting eagerly to see if he’d be the first to break, or if you would.

You heard four gentle knocks against the door, saw Patrick’s sneakers beneath the door. “You can come in,” you said softly.

Patrick slipped into the room and joined you on the bed. He kept space between you, just in case you were still mad, but met your gaze with the sad eyes of a kicked puppy.

“I bought a suit,” was all he said. “And I tried to buy you a huge bouquet of flowers since I was a dickhead, but my card declined since I just bought the suit, so…”

His hand was resting on the empty expanse of mismatched bedsheets between you. You moved your hand into his, tangling your fingers together. “You bought a suit, huh?”

He nodded, squeezing your hand lightly. “I’ll stop being a dick about Katie’s wedding.” He paused, turning away from your gaze. “I think… I’m away so much that when I’m home, I just want it to be me and you.”

You leaned forward and kissed his nose. “I just want to show you off to everyone I know,” you said lightly. Your forehead stayed pressed to his, and you relished in the closeness. “I don’t give a fuck about Katie or her ugly loser fiancé’s stupid wedding.”

Patrick grinned. “Oh? So you just want a hot, professional athlete to be your arm candy, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re always cheapening the moment.” You leaned forward kissing him sweetly, which always seemed to devolve into a hungry mess of tongues and spit when Patrick was involved.

“Wait—“ you said suddenly, right as Patrick began peeling off your top. “You said your fucking card declined? You drained your bank account for this stupid wedding?”

He paused, his hands warm on your bare skin. “Uh… it felt like a grand gesture kind of moment.” You leaned in and kissed him, pulling your shirt off the rest of the way.

Not smutty but I neeeeeeeded to write some domestic Patrick x reader 😁🫶 my pookies my babies my loves

#changeover au #patrick zweig fanfic #patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig #my writing #challengers fanfic #challengers x reader

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writingroom21 · 2 days

Text

Play with me

Pairing: Bestfriend!Rafe x fem!reader

Summary: After the game of truth or dare, it's never mentions. Both of you rather playing games with each other till you break

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up), p in v, cream pie, light nipple play, Oral (f&m receiving), teasing, getting caught, (let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 5.1K

part 1

Four days.

Four fucking days since the truth or dare gate. You’ve seen Rafe everyday since and he has not mentioned it once. Deciding that he would rather torment you then talk about it. The only acknowledgement of the incident coming from the next morning when you two woke up. You had fallen asleep shortly after and he followed along. When you woke up he was still sleeping,he was laying on his back with his right arm over his eyes. His mouth was slightly open and he let out light snores. You lay there next to him watching, tracing shapes on his chest.

Rafe has slept over plenty of times, you’ve also slept at his more times than you can count. None of the mornings after a sleepover felt as strange as this. Before last night the idea of this never really seemed possible. Every chance to screw each other was never taken on both ends. The two of you were always flirting with one another, everyone at school thought you were together. Yet it never happened, that’s why it’s shocking to think it finally did. “It’s not nice to wake up someone who’s sleeping.”

His morning voice will never get tiring, music to your ears. “It is when their snoring woke you up.” The arm covering his view comes down and holds your hand on his chest. His eyes adjust to the sunlight shining through the window. “M’sorry. Next time suffocate me.” Rafe turns to his side to face you when he hears your giggles. The hand holding yours wraps your arm around him as his hand finds your waist. “You’re so beautiful, angel.”

You blush at the new nickname. People have joked that you’re sweet as an angel but he was never one of them. He usually stuck to babe, baby, princess, and sometimes hot stuff. You can’t say that you hate the nickname, you actually like it. You’ve always been acknowledged as the good girl with the bad influence. Just maybe they were right because for some reason you can’t shake the feeling there’s no pure thought behind it.

You would be right. He does see you as the angelic good girl, a sweet angel. But even angels can fall. And just like Lucifer you will fall, he saw it in your eyes last night. He’s never seen that side of you but there’s no good girl when you look deep down. When you fall he’ll be there, ready to be your damnation.

He places a kiss on the tip of your nose. “Not too bad yourself.” He chuckles as he gets up. “I hope so. Had you cumming so hard around me last night.” Rafe leaves the room to take a shower, leaving you gawking as he walks away. He really has some nerves, it's true, but still.

That was the last time he mentioned it.

After his shower, you took one yourself. You need to up the ante, he was all over you last night but this morning he couldn’t be bothered. When you were drying off an idea popped into your head. You walk into your room with the towel wrapped around you. Rafe was laying on your bed scrolling through his phone. The phone almost slips from his hands. He was literally inside you last night yet here he is nervous seeing you in just a towel.

You walk to your dresser, opening the third drawer to get your bathing suit. The two of you are meeting Topper and Kelce to go on the boat so might as well put it on now. Rafe watches as you drop the towel, bending over to put your bottoms on. He follows every moment, examining as they glide up your legs and cover your pretty pussy.

You turn around playing with the top, walking to the edge of the bed to show it to him. “Do you think this is a cute bikini or should I go with another one?” Rafe can’t focus on your words, your movements are causing your tits to bounce. But mostly he’s hyper focused on your nipples.

Their fucking pierced.

How could he not notice that last night? The metal winks at him, his dick getting harder. “Earth to Ray.” His head snaps up to yours, eyes wide struck. “What?” You giggle, getting up on the bed to kneel in front of him. “Think I should go with this one?” Clearing his throat, Rafe sits up more on the bed. His phone leaves his hands so he can adjust himself.

“I like it. Wear it.” You tie the top strings around your neck, tying the bottom right after. One of the little triangles was skewed. Instinctively Rafe’s hand goes to fix it, fingers brushing against the swell of your breast. When it’s fixed his hand grazes your side. Finally you think. He’s going to finally make a move.

“Get dressed. I’ll be downstairs getting the food ready.” Then he’s off, rushing to the bathroom to get himself off before you’re done. With defeat written on your face you get ready and meet him downstairs. He’s standing by the door with the bags in his hands, you grab the keys and walk right past him. You lock the door as he loads the truck up. Even doing something so simple as that, he makes hot.

It’s not fair honestly. He doesn’t even try to get your turned on and you do. Yet no matter what you do he won’t give in. Rafe sees you stomp over to the car, getting in with a slam of the door. Once he gets into the driver’s seat you are buckled in and on your phone. “Want aux?”

He never asks you to be on aux. “Why?” He rolls his eyes at you, sucking his teeth. “Cause you’re obviously in a shitty mood. Trying to do something nice.” Is he serious right now? Your eyes narrow at him, looking forward to not see him. “I’m good.”

“Are you really going to be a brat right now?” It’s your turn to roll your eyes at him. “I’m fine Rafe. We need to hurry up, we’re already running late.” A glance at the dash clock would prove you right. The both of you are ten minutes late already and it takes fifteen to get there. He puts the truck in drive and is off, his eyes avert from the road to check on you and then back.

Rafe knows one thing for sure about girls. When they say they’re fine it’s not true. It means they are mad and want you to know they are without them telling you. He can take a wild guess as to why you are mad and be correct. He just won’t talk about it.

The drive was silent. Usually you talk his ear off about music, some tv show, new hobbies, or random gossip. On a good day you would just talk for a little but mostly listen to music. Complete silence has never been an option until now. Rafe would look over every so often to just see you staring out the window, leaning your arm on it with your head on your forearm.

“I’ll get the bags.” He couldn’t even finish his train of thought before you were out of the car. You were already settled on the boat when he got on. Chatting with Topper when you should be talking his ear off. He’s sad to admit that he misses it, misses the way your voice would fluctuate deepening on your emotion. He could always tell when you are really excited or sad just by your voice.

That day was mostly spent with you ignoring Rafe. Upset with him for just sleeping with you and not having the balls to own it. You would rather him say he regretted it then for him to ignore that it happened.

Day two had a boring day but eventful night. You had Topper drop you off using the excuse that he lives closest to you. Everyone knew that Rafe never minded bringing you home or driving you anywhere. In fact he always refused to let you drive, insisting that he can drive you. He wanted to argue but you had walked off already.

You had woken up at ten, not too late which is good. You went downstairs to go to the kitchen. Opening the fridge you get some eggs, green peppers, red onions, and bacon. You cook the bacon first as you cut up the peppers and onions. In a bowl you crack the eggs and mix everything together. When the bacon was done you cooked the eggs.

You did have any plans today, the only thing you wanted to do was eat and binge movies. Which is exactly what you did. The food was gone soon after you sat down. The plate still sits on the table, you would get to it later. You’re laid out on the couch, Twilight playing on the flat screen tv. You feel like Bella at this moment.

Waiting for Rafe to acknowledge what happened and what it means now. He just went back to acting like it was nothing. You had thought he cared enough to at least give you the respect to say he doesn’t want to continue. Uhhhhh the self spiral is not helping your situation. A buzz catches your attention, you see your phone screen light up. Picking it up you see that one of your friends had texted you.

Lily: Hey gorgeous! Want to come to the party Trev is throwing?

A party is just what you need. He’ll be there to sell and you know that. But if you stick with your friends you know it will help defuse the tension. He hasn’t texted you all day so you highly doubt he wants to talk.

You get ready, putting on a mini skirt and crop top that’s a little too small. If Rafe can’t man up to fuck you then maybe it’s time for someone else to do it. You arrive at the party with a group of your girl friends. It’s in full swing already, there are people on the lawn making a mess. Inside is littered with bodies of people, some are drinking, some dancing, and a lot of them making out.

Every party is kind of the same. People drink or get high, there’s always at least one fight, and you can always count on the bedrooms being occupied. Your group makes their way to the kitchen where all the drinks were lined up. Looking around you can see bottles of vodka, tequila, and some dark liquor. You grab a cup and the tequila bottle and pour the liquid in. You find whatever juice they have and pour it in as well.

A hand wraps around your waist, the person's chest pressed to your back. You smile into the cup as you take a snip, ready to start flirting. “Hi angel.” The whispered words make you tense. Turning around you are face to face with Rafe. “Oh hey. What’s up.” the smile he had on drops when he realizes yours doesn’t match his. You always light up when you see him.

Topper and Kelce greet you and your friends as well. You try to talk to them but you keep focusing on the way Rafe’s hands are on you. Everyone had moved away from the drinks to another part of the kitchen. Rafe was leaning back on the counter and you were in front of him. His hands stayed on your waist the whole time, bringing you back to brush against him.

It was like he was torturing you with all the teasing. It continued when you all moved outside to have a smoke. Rafe made sure to find a place with less seating so you would have to sit on his lap. It worked in the end, he had you on top of him squirming around. Each movement only makes him harder. His hands skim your legs, slipping under your skirt and then back.

Every tease of his hands makes you grind on him harder. If it were up to you he would bend you over right now and fuck the shit out of you. Clearly he doesn’t have the same plan. But you did enjoy when his groping got more intense when Mark started talking to you. He had seen you from where he was sitting and came over to pull you away.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you in forever. How have you been?” Rafe glares at the guy, the hand on your thigh tightening as you respond. “Marky? Oh my god hey!” You tried to get up but Rafe wouldn’t let you. The whole conversion Rafe wouldn’t take his hands off of you.

His arms wrap around you so his hands are resting on the exposed flesh of your abdomen. You try to not focus on the feeling of his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, going under. His fingertips slip under the cups of your bra, feeling the flesh of your breast. Mark’s eyes flicker to the movement and back to your eyes, a slight blush forming. You push his arms down, causing his hands to leave their mission.

In the end Rafe got what he wanted, Mark left right after making an excuse of meeting friends. You were slightly pissed off at Rafe, you haven’t seen Mark in a while so it was nice to catch up. But on the other hand you were happy he was finally paying you attention. Even more happy when he kept feeling you up even after the boy had left.

Towards the end of the night you were so horny that you wanted to slip his cock out and just have him inside you again. You mostly just want to feel how big he is again, making you ache in the nicest way possible. Having enough of it you turn around to whisper in his ear. “Why don’t we find a room or leave?” Who cares if you are being too straightforward? You are over this waiting game.

Smirking, he looks into your eyes. “Can’t handle me teasing you?” You smile up at him, pecking his jaw lightly. “I know something else I really want to handle right now. Maybe you can teach me?” Your hips grind down on him to enhance your point. “Yeah? What do you want me to teach you?”

Maybe it’s the weed but you really don’t care that you are grinding on Rafe’s lap while he kisses your neck in the middle of a party. No one is honestly surprised, they didn’t think it would take the two of you this long. Rafe is sucking on the point beneath your ear that does you in. “How to suck you off.” You bite his ear lobe. “How to deep throat you without choking.”

Rafe lets out a moan that was almost too loud for a public setting. “Let’s go I’m taking you home.” You’re giddy as you get up, saying goodbye to your friends. Rafe on the other hand is scrambling to cover the little wet spot you had left on him from grinding. Your skirt had only given you the coverage of eyes being on you.

You practically skip to the car thinking that you finally won. Whatever dumb game he was playing, you won. You beam as he opens the passenger door for you, helping you up into the truck. The same on the drive home when his hand is on your thigh, creeping closer to your skirt. Moaning When it goes under, fingers playing with you over your panties.

“Take them off.” He snaps the elastic against you. Without saying anything you slip them off, putting them in his pocket for safe keeping. The action made him smile to himself. His hand continues its assault on you. Circling your entrance to collect your wetness to bring it up to circle your clit. Your moaning continues as your drive down the streets. All of a sudden he pulls his hand away.

“What the fuck.” You yell. Your whole body flipping to look at him, arms flying up in the air. “You’re home.” You look out your window and sure enough, he’s right outside. “Are you going to come in?” He looks at the door and then at you, shaking his head he licks the fingers that were just touching you. “Nah we have that brunch tomorrow and it’s late.” You scoff at him. “When have you ever cared about family brunch?”

Your parents and Ward plus Rose always had weekly brunch at the club. It was a family thing everyone had to tag along. Rafe always skipped or was late, dragging you along with him. But now suddenly he cares about them, yeah fuck that.

He shrugs. “You know what? You can fuck off Cameron.” You storm out the car and up the driveway. “Fucking asshole. Teasing the shit out of me then bailing out. Fucking pussy.” You say mostly to yourself, the words echoing down to his open window. He still waits until you go inside before leaving, seeing you flip him off. He laughs knowing that you are pissed at him, just like he wanted.

Day three, had you sitting through a boring lunch right across from the one person you are annoyed at. Normally when these lunches happen you and Rafe skip to get high or hang out. When you are here the two of you are at the end of the table talking to yourselves. But not today.

You decided to sit next to you mom, your dad on the other side of her. When the Cameron family came in, Ward sat directly in front of your dad while Rose did the same to your mom. Now usually Wheeze sits next to Rose but Rafe b lined her to the chair when he didn’t see you at the end. The families were confused on why the sitting had changed and more so why there was no talking.

You ended up talking to Sarah and Wheszie while Rafe listened to the conversation. He tried to talk to you but you shut him out. You are giving him the same treatment, if he wanted to play games so could you. Only yours was the silent game.

There was nothing more that Rafe hated than being ignored. He felt it his whole life, yet never from you. This was like whiplash. You’ve been super mad at him before but you never shut him out. He doesn’t like the feeling but he knows he can get you mad enough to break. To finally cave and say something.

He nudges your foot with his sneakers creasing your shoes. You kick his foot away from you, turning your body more towards Sarah. The good thing about him being tall is that he can still reach you. This time he kicks your ankle. Your head snaps at him, your eyes shooting him a glare. He’s smiling as he waits for you to say something. Just when he thinks you will crack, the waiter saves you from it.

As everyone eats he keeps it going. Accidentally reaching for things that you are getting. If he sees you getting salt, so is he. Want more bread? Well look at that he suddenly wants some too. Each time causes your hands to collide. There’s a little twitch in your eyes, just at the corners. He knows you're a second away from yelling at him and making a scene so he takes it up one more notch. He lifts his leg up, skimming your inner thigh, finding his way under your dress.

The sound of your chair pushing back makes the table look at you. Rafe looks smug, expecting you to lose your cool now. Instead you take a deep breath. “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” Everyone starts to ask what is up with you. “Is she okay? You two haven’t been talking?” Your mom asks. “Yeah she said she wasn’t feeling too good earlier. I should probably make sure she’s okay.”

The table shares glances as Rafe walks off after you. “Does anyone else think that’s kinda weird? Like something is definitely going on.” Wheezie questions. “Wheeze knock it off. I’m sure it's fine.” Ward says, going back to his conversation with your father. “It’s suspicious.” she whispers as she takes a bite.

Rafe’s footsteps echo in the hallway behind you. He ignores all the stares that people are giving him as he rushes to catch up. “Hey.” you ignore him and walk into the women's bathroom. He stands outside the door for a second, looking around to make sure the coast is clear. The door slams open, scarring you as Rafe checks the stalls.

“What the fuck Rafe!” You try to walk out but he blocks you, locking the door. “What’s wrong angel?” He teases. The bathroom lights are dimly highlighting his eyes. Yellow specks float in the sea of blue. “Move out of my way Cameron.” It's laughable how cute you are trying to put your foot down. “You’ve been a brat all brunch.” You can't argue as he pushes you back to the sinks and lifts you on it.

“What are you doing?” You ask as Rafe sinks to his knees, his head disappearing under your skirt. He places a kiss on your clothed clit, pulling your panties to the side so he could give you a lick. “Fucking delicious.” The tiled walls bounce your moans around like an echo chamber. You struggle to keep yourself up right on the sink. Your back hitting the mirror as you slump down.

Rafe is holding you up by your thighs, placing them on his shoulders to keep you there. His mouth devours you as if he was still hungry. Like the food he was just eating didn’t sedate his hunger. Light hits his eyes again as you unfold your skirt, your hand finding his head. He hums into you, shaking his head from side to side. “I’m close.”

His movements get faster and when you are right at the edge he pulls away. Your eyes shoot open to look at him, following as he gets up and licks his lips. Grabbing paper towels, wetting them to clean your up. He helps you off the sink, fixing your panties and skirt. “I’ll tell them you’re okay and need another minute. See you out there.”

The rest of brunch you were tense. So upset that he denied you a orgasim like that or the fact that he keeps messing with you. When you get home you are radiating with anger, wanting to explode. You so badly want to call him to yell or cuss him out over text but you don’t. If ignoring him got you that then it could get you more.

Day four

An insistent ringing wakes you up from your sleep. Fumbling around you feel for your phone and blindly answer it. “Hello?” You throw your blanket over your head to block out the light coming in from the window. “Are you still sleeping? Come on, get ready, I'll be there shortly.” You pull the phone away to see that it's almost 10:30 and that it’s Rafe who called you. “Why would I be getting ready?” He huffs over the phone.

“Because I’m picking you up. Barry got some new weed and coke.” See you were ready to tell him to fuck off but he got you with free drugs. They usually let you test out what they buy before selling it. It’s great having friends that deal sometimes, especially when Rafe never let you pay. “Fine.” You hang up on him to get ready.

When he had texted you he was there you raced out the house and into his truck. Completely blocking him from opening the door for you like he normally does. Rafe just closes the door and gets back in. “Hey angel.” His hands go for your thigh but you move your legs away to face the door. “Hey.”

The ride to Barry’s was awkward to say the least. Rafe tries to start conversations with you but you won’t say a thing. Texting your friends on your phone instead of having to talk to him. It was so awkward that even Barry noticed it when you came into the house. You had walked in and sat on the couch picking up the blunt that was already rolled on the table. Rafe lagging along like a lost puppy following its owner.

“Want any of the good stuff sweetheart?” Barry asks you while waving a baggie of coke in your face. Taking a puff from the blunt you shake your head, passing it to Rafe. “No, I'm good.” You giggle. You know Barry isn’t that bad, maybe he could help you out. The boys watch you as you get up and sit next to Barry.

He smirks at Rafe, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “Now why is a pretty girl like you always around men like us? Like pretending you aren’t a good girl?” You giggle at him, legs going into his lap. “Maybe I’m not as good as people think.” Barry likes the way your eyelashes are fluttering at him.

Rafe is watching the two of you like a hawk, as Barry’s hands touch your exposed legs. His phone rings and he disconnected himself from you to answer it. When he’s out of the room Rafe’s eyes meet yours. “What are you doing?” A cheshire smile spreads on your lips. “Me?”

“Yeah you. Who else would I be talking to?” You shift back to the couch next to him, taking the blunt in his hands. “Just talking to B is there something wrong with that?” Too headstrong, Rafe doesn’t back down. “I don’t know, is there? You seem to be the one with the issues.” Your smile drops and you take another puff. “Well maybe if you would stop being such a pussy I wouldn’t have to flirt with him.”

There it is

“So this is about me not fucking you?” He looks so cocky sitting there, lounging back on the couch. “Should have just said something baby. Wouldn’t want to leave me little angel suffering.” You are about to start yelling at him to wipe that look off his face but Barry walks in. “Aight I have to go deal with something. I’ll be back soon, don't take all that shit.” He’s out the door without looking back

The crunch of tires from a motorcycle can be heard from inside the house. Signaling that Barry was gone. “You have to be kidding! I’ve been trying ti fuck you since we woke up the next day. You were the one you wouldn’t.” You shout at him. He just shrugs which pisses you off even more. Getting up you stand in front of him, invading his space.

He leans forward only for you to push him back, crawling into his lap to get up close. “Fucking pussy.” Your lips crash to his, hands gripping his shirt to keep him still. This is exactly where he wanted you. So riled up that you’ll just take what you want. All your life he has seen you sit back and just let people walk all over you. Letting them decide what’s best for you, he wants you to take that step.

Your hips are grinding down on him, his dick getting hard from the friction. “Is it clear now? I want you to fuck me.” He gives you another kiss. “Then go for it.” Automatically you take off his shirt, yours flying along with it. Your lips travel down his body, kissing every inch of his skin. The pressure in his pants relieves when you unbutton his pants, taking them down.

Rafe keeps his mouth shut, afraid if he spoke it would ruin the moment. A moan leaves him when you use your teeth to pull his boxers down. Giving his dick kisses up and down. Licking from the base up. The feeling is amazing. Having your mouth on him was a different feeling. Sure he’s had sex but they never meant anything, you did.

You bob your head a few more times and then get up, stripping your shirts and panties. His hands find your thigh as you get back on him. “You’re perfect.” Crystal blue eyes meet yours, conveying a secret message. “Shut up.” You sink down on him, his length filling you up once again.

You bounce on his dick, leaning back with your hands on his knees to hold you up. The once quiet house is filled with your moans. You’ve been so pent up that you are ready to cum already. “Touch me.” His fingers find your clit, rubbing in fast circles. You aren’t the only one who’s pent up. Rafe’s been teasing himself just as much as he has with you.

His other hand helps facilitate your movements, slamming you on him. “That’s it angel. Be a good girl and cum for me.” Your body spasms with your orgasim, shaking over Rafe. The lull of your hips alerts Rafe that you can’t do this much longer. Your energy pulled out of you. He wraps his arms around you, lifting up from the couch. He’s still inside you as he drapes your body over the edge of the couch.

You are on your back, hips elevated as he stands between your legs. His hips snap into yours, ramming your g-spot with every thrust. Each of your moans sent him into overdrive, wanting to cum but desperately needed you to do so again. His thumb goes back to your clit and he leans over to suck one of your nipples. The triple stimulation does wonders, sending you over the edge once again.

Rafe’s hips keep thrusting, chasing his own release. A few minutes later he was done for. Hips slamming and shuttering into yours, filling you up. He plugs you, not wanting a single drop to go to waste. He pushes some hair off of your face, looking into your eyes and kissing you deep. “I wanted to fuck you too. Just wanted to play with you first.” You open your mouth to say something but a voice makes you stop. “On my fucking couch. The two of you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

Rafe couldn’t even care that you two were caught. He finally got you to break, to give in to what you want. His perfect little angel finally fell, not realizing that he’ll drag you down further.

#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe obx #obx #rafe cameron smut #rafe smut #rafe x you #drew starkey smut #outer banks smut #rafe imagine #outerbanks rafe #obx rafe cameron

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mrabubu · 1 day

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How do you think the turtles from ROTMNT would deal with their feelings if they were in love with someone (be it human, mutant, Yokai, etc.)?

Oh man... Hmmm...

I really hope that wouldn't be a problem if I mostly ramble about Leo (I'M SORRY GUYS THE BLUE TURTLE LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE), and maybe a couple of words about the rest. I'll also be talking about both young and adult Leos, so, here we go.

I'll give short opinions on other turtles before Leo:

Donnie: Would be neglecting his feelings and emotions at first. Even though, in my opinion, he was established as the one prone to romance, I think when he'd actually feel anything towards anyone, he'd be really conflicted, because it's one thing to see this stuff on the TV and all, and another when it's in real life. But once he'll deal with all this mess in his head, he's a real gentleman.

With Raph and Mikey I'm going to refer to @souperwrites words, I hope they don't mind xd

"Mikey is confident and lovey dovey." And I totally agree with it. I feel like he would be the one who'd have the least problems with his feelings.

"Raph is shy but very genuine in his affection but also super nervous because of his size and the potential harm he could cause without meaning to." But honestly, I think my friend @daysofmoron could also give their opinion, since they love the red turtle. xd OKAY, NOW MY BOY LEO.

If start with young Leo, in the show he was always all "EWW!" whenever any sign of romantic love is shown, be it Big Mama and Splinter or Warren and Hypno (at least I remember them being all cuddly, and Leo's was just barfing at them on the background), but I imagine once his own heart goes "doki-doki" for Y/N (let it be Y/N or "you" for now), he's a total mess at first. Remember that episode when they met Jupiter Jim actor, and Leo couldn't even put the syllables together? Yeah, that's him at the start, especially if Y/N doesn't know about his feelings towards them. He'll be trying to impress Y/N but since his emotions are all over the place, he messes up more than usual, maybe even ending up hurting himself (like, he'd try to impress you with his skateboarding skills, but ends up eating concrete because he's too distracted).

And here I'm going to add a bit of my own ideas, because I've been thinking of some scenarios, like, if taking that previous idea with skateboarding, or, more easily, let's take the episode "The Longest Fight" when he fell, I imagine if on the contrary from others you'd actually show any genuine concern about if he's hurt, he'd be like "Oh..." and blushing, because usually his brothers would make fun if him, and here comes in you who doesn't laugh at his failure and worries if he needs help. I think after a moment like this he could begin to feel something.

And with Future Leo HO OHO I have an entire game reference on how I imagine him handling a romance.

First of all, I think as an adult he would be more confident with his feelings if he ever feels anything towards anyone, because, well, he's an adult now, and because when you at war you kinda already went through a lot to be all this blushing mess over feeling butterflies in your stomach.

So, as a reference, whenever I thought of him in a relationship, I though of a romance with Garrus from Mass Effect. I imagine Leo being kinda awkward, trying to make jokes at first that are much more sloppy than usual. Especially if talking about Garrus, I always think of that scene from Mass Effect 2, when he comes into Shepard's room before the final mission, trying to lighten up the mood, flirt and all, but ends up just being an awkward (but adorable) mess, and saying: "I've seen so many things have gone wrong... I want something to go right. Just once. Just..."

And it's just really easy for me to imagine Leo say that. And instead of touching scars you touch his prosthetic.

youtube

And also that dialogue with Liara after "The Lair of the Shadow Broker" DLC, when she asks if you fight for giving Garrus some peace, and you say that he's been hurt and deserves something better.

youtube

But once Leo's over all the awkwardness and let himself relax, he's just enjoying this new experience with you, having fun.

This scene with Garrus and Shepard trying the "first date" thing which ends up them dancing tango together. With all the teasing and all, I can easily imagine Leo would do something like that.

youtube

Honestly, I think that's it? There are more scenes in Mass Effect with Garrus and Shepard where I could easily imagine Leo would do something like that, but it's a lot. If you know, you know, If don't, well, I hope I was able to gave you an idea.

#abubu ask #future leo x reader #rottmnt leo x y/n #rottmnt leo x reader #leo x you #leo x reader #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x y/n

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kimingyuslover · 2 days

Text

Missed Connections

Synopsis : You swear you can tolerate anything because this is an unwanted marriage to him, but why's this one hurts so much?

Word count : 2,716 and some change

pairing : Choi seungcheol x fem!reader

Genre : arranged marriage!au, contract marriage!au, strangers to *** ***** ***** to exes, angst, slight fluff.

Warnings : angst, tears, italic means person on the other side of the phone & message, chaebol!reader, chaebol!seungcheol, ceo!reader, ceo!seungcheol (not mentioned), like 1 curse word, implied cheating? (Seungcheol goes on a date because his toxic friends say so), Seungcheol is a jerk boo 🍅🍅, mentions of pregnancy (reader is pregnant), mom!reader, slight Joshua x reader, this fic does not represent his character in real life!

a.n : yes, i cried while writing this, Seungcheol's sucks

The sun peeked through the window of his bedroom, which once was shared with you. He opens his eyes groggily, his eyes adjusting the sunlight that goes to his eyes.

Surprise, it's a word that will describe his expression right now, seeing a divorce file on his nightstand with a pen on top of the paper, lying peacefully waiting to be used by him.

“What the fuck?” he mumbles with his raspy and sleepy voice.

He thinks he might be dreaming, that when he sleeps again and opens his eyes, you're on his side while he's hugging you tightly, his morning will start with your kisses and this all was just in his head.

But it's not. When he slaps his cheek, it hurts. It feels so real.

And then, when he realised that the divorce file was real, he hurriedly searched for his phone, wanting to call the person he knew so well but also didn't.

“The divorce paper, you've already signed it? i'll pick up my stuff and take the paper with my lawyer” you said on the other side, voice sounding so enchanting but so cold, like he never heard before.

Your voice usually sounds like it's coated with warmth and sweetness, but now it's just filled with coldness.

he forgot when he first saw you, you were given the cliche title ‘ice queen’ by the employees.

“Why’s there a divorce paper on my nightstand? Why are you not here? In the bed, with me” Seungcheol said, hurt evident in his voice.

“What do you think seungcheol? you're finally free, you can go out as much as you want with your so-called friends, you don't have to worry that head more, our company will still be concerted, and the best part, you can go freely with that woman of yours” Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows with confusion.

“Why–

you cut him off before he even speaks, “i call off our arranged marriage, Seungcheol. you said it yourself, that you, Mr. Choi, does not want this marriage from the first you saw me, and that was proven when I saw you with a woman, in a fancy restaurant, just both of you, not with anyone else and I learned the fact that your friends told you to do that.

Our arguments will lead to one of us leaving the house that once you promised we'll build together with love, and I just have to be patient. When I saw you with her, I realised that was the beginning of our marriage's downfall, so I made the decision that would not leave negative comments from everybody else, so your company will not have a backlash from the stockholders even if it's hurting me in the process.

You promised me, Choi Seungcheol. to take care of me, try to love me, and even have the audacity to tell me to be patient with your heart. I've done all of that, but what you have given me is just aching in my heart over and over again.

My friends already told me that this marriage was bad for me and will hurt me in the end, but I'm blinded by your love bombing act, and I was so naive that I thought you will ever love me back, that we will have a happy family, with 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl. we'll live anywhere i want, you said back then.

Do you know how much I cried that night? when I saw you with her, and when I knew that you and me would never have the happy family we once planned?

That day, I was going to tell you about me getting pregnant, but I guess fate doesn't want us to be together because they know it’s better for me to hurt now than later.

Tomorrow will be the last time i'm going to go there, and the final court will be the last time I saw you” after finishing the words that you've planned to give him right when he calls you, you hung up the phone, not giving him any chance to replied because you know, when you heard his voice your heart will hurt more.

Seungcheol drops his phone onto his bed sheet. He tries to recall the memory, and when he does, there's a hard pang in his heart.

regret started to fill up his figure, and he rushed towards the bathroom to take a shower.

He's planning to meet you today to talk about your marriage, hopefully not for the last time.

“Is Mrs. Choi here?” Seungcheol said to the receptionist at your company.

She hesitates at first, then starts to speak, “i'm sorry, but it's Ms. Hong and she does not want anybody, especially you, Mr. Choi to go to her” she says.

Seungcheol has tried to call you again and again and again, determined to fix the marriage he ruined.

and his heart hurts even more when he reads your chatroom. It's him who sent the last message, and you left him on read.

You know what? you're too naive, too invested in our relationship, and that's why it's not working. Can't you be more patient? i have my own things to do

He knew he was being a jerk when he sent that to you, but back then, he's heating up because of your arguments that are constantly happening.

Tears start to fall from his eyes, all you need is love, to which he promised will give you his, he should be grateful that you still give chance after chance even though you know that he will still be like that.

he drives to your penthouse, your summer house, your cabin, and even your house, but you're not there.

as he went to his car with disappointment on his face, someone called his name.

“What are you doing here, Seungcheol?” He freezes and it hurts. You usually call him with terms of endearment, but now you just call him by his name, which he hates so much if it's coming from your mouth.

Seungcheol runs to you. Wanted to hug you, but he halted his plan when he saw you looking at him like you used to before he was introduced by your parents as your soon-to-be husband, so cold with no emotion behind that oculus of yours.

He explains everything, telling you that his friend makes him go on lunch with the woman you saw. He even goes as far as kneeling in front of you.

“But you still go on a date with her? Even when you don't want to? i've said it to you countless times. i can tolerate anything because this is an arranged marriage, but cheating is an exception” you said while looking down at him because of his position. You don't even bother to usher him to get up from his knees. Seungcheol frowns at your words, but you're right. When his friend told him, he could refuse it, but he didn't.

His words caught up on his throat. He can't say anything anymore, because at the end of the day, he knew that his action was so sinful because for god damn sake, he's married to you!

“You're funny, Choi Seungcheol” You left him kneeling on the ground while going back to your car. You managed to hold your tears in front of him because you're not willing to let your tears fall for a boy who's not even a man.

When you're already gone with your car, Seungcheol gets up to his knees, and he realises that he hasn't even asked about the baby.

“Don't worry, my love, mommy will protect you, no matter what” you said while caressing your baby bump.

It's been approximately 4 months of your pregnancy, and 4 months since you're not on the same roof with Seungcheol.

You know you'll stress out yourself if you stay in that house, and you can't risk that.

You've been staying in a hotel for the past months, but luckily for you, your sister-in-law has a 5 star hotel, so you won't have to search for it.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

The first court is today, and you're going there with your lawyer and your sister-in-law (Soo-jung) because she says she wants to help you, and you thanked her for that.

You show up with a white dress, black blazer, your Jimmy choo pumps, and white birkin as the cherry on top.

Seungcheol saw you with adoration in his eyes, thinking, "Why can't he see you like this when your marriage is still there?”

He doesn't want to make eye contact with anyone with you and yourself, but when he does make an eye contact with Soo-jung or you he will divert his eyes to look somewhere that isn't you or her.

He's scared, what even your family will think about his family, about him? after he hurt you and you being pregnant was not helping.

Now it's your final court. This time, you dress differently, you're wearing white shorts, a brown thin belt, soft-pink Ralph Lauren button-up, a white lady dior, and a white slingback kitten heels with your baby bump that's already showing.

He feels guilt start building up in his body when the judge knocks his hammer three times, and he's trying his best not to spill his tears every second now.

he hears several footsteps going to him when he looks at you with his tear filled eyes.

you open your mouth while crossing your hands in front of your chest, then you speak, “Take care of your health, don't eat junk food like you liked to, this baby will get a new father soon, but i will still introduce you to them”

As soon as you finish your sentence, you start to walk away with your lawyer, brother, and sister-in-law (who gives him a disappointed and angry look).

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

It's been years since your divorce, but Seungcheol is still a mess. He can't blame anyone but himself for this one.

After the divorce, he cut all of his friends who told him to go on a date that day. He’s in denial for years, even when he knows that they're giving a bad influence to him.

He goes on a lot of interviews, and he never fails to mention to you in his interview, hoping you will see him on tv shows and better yet, with his child.

You, on the other hand, are already living your best life with your son, you’ve given birth to him 4 and a half years ago, and now he's your most favorite person in this universe.

You decide to move to Switzerland when Minjun– your son (Hong Minjun, Edward Hong) turns 1 year old.

There you met Minjun's dad, who happens to have the same surname as yours, Joshua Hong or Hong Jisoo because that's his Korean name.

You hesitate at first to be in a commitment because of your past, but Joshua makes it clear that you can trust him, and everything will be fine.

Joshua is a gentleman, a man who you dreamed off everytime you doze off, a man of words and action, and you really want Minjun to be like him when he's older.

Minjun characteristics start showing up lately, and just as you expected, he's already being a mini gentleman to you, and the manner that you and Joshua taught him is prominent with his actions and words.

You're proud of him, and you finally get your highest dream.

Having a happy family has been your dream for as long as you can remember, even when Joshua's not Minjun's biological father, but he acts like one and Minjun, too, acts like Joshua's biological son.

[ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ]

Joshua decided that this month he and you will go back to Korea for the Christmas holiday, because for the last 3 years it's always been your family to come to Switzerland.

You can't forget how happy your parents and your brother's family look when they see you coming home with Minjun and Joshua.

“I miss my daughter so much. How have you been, sweetheart?” your mother said while hugging you, which you replied with a ‘i'm fine, mother’ and a wide smile on your face.

The next day, you're going to have a visit to your company in Seoul, and so you bring Minjun with you because Joshua is having a meeting and probably will be back at dawn.

“Minjun, are you excited to see mommy's office?” you ask Minjun when the light goes red, which Minjun replies with an excited nod and wide grins, “yes! I am so excited!” Minjun said with Korean and an accent.

The security, receptionist and your workers still remember you, they even try to get in a conversation with Minjun which brings a smile to your face.

“Minjun, will you wait here in Mommy's office while Mommy is getting our lunch?” you said while crothed to his height and holding both of his tiny hands.

Minjun nodded at your words, “can i play with secretary Jeon Mommy?” he asked, and this time it's your turn to nod your head, “yes, you can”

You already told your secretary to watch Minjun, so you don't need to worry.

You walk to the café near your company building, it's been your favorite place since you moved to this branch of your company.

When you get your order, you take a seat on the side of the road.

Not so long after, there's someone who sat in front of you, and when you saw him you furrowed your eyebrows.

“What are you doing here, Seungcheol?” The same question from those years threw Seungcheol off guard, the bad memories he never wants to remember.

“This used to be, or is it still your favorite place to go for lunch, and i miss you so i came here, what i didn't expect is you're going to be here” Seungcheol said, there's defeated plastered on his face.

“How's your life?” You begin, so the tension can be lowered a bit.

“Messed up, after our divorce. How's yours?” he replied with simplicity.

“Amazing. He's 4 and a half now, his name is Hong Minjun and since i'm not living in Korea he uses his foreign name too, Edward Hong” you said referring to the baby you carried when you're getting a divorce with him.

“Where is he?”

“Playing with secretary Jeon”

“I think i can't do this anymore, I'm sorry, i was an asshole back then. I swear I changed! just give me a chance, please” Desperate sounds so clear, and you look at him in disapproval.

“I have given you chances, over and over, but you throw it away like it meant nothing”

Even after you replied to him with that, he still begged you to come back to him, tears in his eyes mirroring how desperate he is.

He is still doing it until someone calls your name and a little boy runs to you, calling you mommy.

That's when he realised in front of him is his son, that he failed to protect.

And when he gets up when he sees you do the same, he turns his head to the man who calls your name.

There's when his heart drops to his stomach, thoughts running a hundred miles per hour, thinking of the worst scenario in his head, that the man in front of him is your—

“Y/n's husband, Joshua Hong”

Your husband, and that means he never got the chance to make you his anymore.

The tension can be seen by anyone passing by, an ex-husband who hurt his ex-wife deeply, and the current husband who treats his wife like a princess.

Joshua breaks the awkward silence after Seungcheol introduces himself with, “Let’s go, my love, your mother sends a location to the restaurant we're going to eat for lunch” with a smile that Seungcheol swears he wants to rip from Joshua’s kind face.

You replied to Joshua with a smile, and you three excuses yourself from Seungcheol and went to Joshua’s car.

Seungcheol had his heart broken again, and the reason is still the same.

You.

Oh, there's addition for the cause of his broken heart.

You and Minjun.

#seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen au #seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #choi seungcheol #scoups #seventeen #seventeen oneshot #kml.writes☆

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corvidcrossbow · 2 days

Note

would you maybe write some daryl fluff? maybe reader is carols adopted daughter (20ish years old)

daryl comforting reader after henry and how carol acted in the tunnel? maybe r sees carol taking pills n stuff. idk just daryl maybe talking to carol “what about her? henry’s gone but she’s still here!” just daryl sticking up for reader and hugging her n looking after her while carols off.

~•♡•~ What One Has

➳ Summary: Following the Savior war, Carol took you and Henry in as her adoptive children. But through the events of the Whisperer war, your relationship with her became sort of estranged; at least you had Daryl looking out for you (Daryl + Fem!Reader)

➳ Setting: Post Whisperer war, around 10x18 + 10x21

➳ Word count: 1.9k

➳ C/W: Mentions of pike scene

➳ A/N: Ima be so fr, I struggled writing this, I think because I wasn't quite sure what direction I wanted to go but I needa stop sittin on this n I hope you like it nonetheless anon 😭🫶 Hopefully now that opening day at my job has passed I can refocus on writing (and hopefully we never have a day like that ever again cuz someone dropping and coding in front of me was not in any of my expectations 🗿)

Daryl groaned an exhale and shifted in his blankets, rolling over onto his back with a clenched fist resting on his forehead. Darkness shrouded his room in the basement, Dog curled up close to him no matter how many times he tried to ward the canine off from dirtying the plush couch by sleeping on it too.

Despite the threat of the Whisperers eliminated, and what he could only hope would be some time for rest, he didn't rest. Sleeping never proved easier no matter how many times a conflict was eased: he knew more would always follow. Especially now, where the repercussions of Alpha and her actions were so grave it shook foundations he'd prayed would stay stable.

The archer threw back his covers, picking himself from the makeshift bed and finding a shirt he'd earlier thrown aside, and a pack of cigarettes set on the edge of his workbench. He tisked at Dog, instructing him to stay while he quietly existed from the cellar, carefully ascended the stairs and opened the front door to head outside and smoke.

Closing it and throwing his head back to clear the messied hair from his face, he paused at the figure already occupying the right side of the steps. In the faint glow of moonlight, he recognized you despite your hunched posture, seemingly trying to obscure yourself.

“Why ya out ‘ere?”

“Same reason you are.”

It was a rhetorical question, really. He knew why, who this was about. It wasn't the first time he'd found you awake in the night as he was, having become an increasing commonality over the past 10 months since you moved here, and increasingly concerning.

Daryl stuffed the pack away in his pocket, coming to sit near you on the opposite end of the step, propping his elbows on his thighs. “Ya won’ talk ‘bout it?”

“It's not really gonna make a difference,” You replied, head bowed to stare at the wooden planks in front of you, twisting a loose thread you'd plucked from your jeans between your fingers.

“Could. Least yer not carryin’ it by yerself,” He tried to persuade you. Although he was guilty of doing it himself, his conscience didn't sit well with knowing those close to him were lost in their own minds like he so often was. Especially you, who he not only cared about, but had cared for. “C'mon, ‘m listening.”

You heaved an uneasy sigh, reluctantly accepting that he was right. He felt like the only person you had at this point. “I miss her.”

Daryl's head turned a bit so his gaze could flick to you then shifted back, nodding – more to himself – understandingly.

“And it's so weird because she's, what… 30 feet away from me right now? Maybe less? But she feels even further than she did when she just up and left to go on that boat.” You paused for a moment, coaching yourself through your breaths and not allowing them to grow erratic. “I thought, maybe after everything at the tower, she'd warm back up to me again. But I feel like the… thing, wore her raw, and then the blizzard froze her so solid she won't thaw back out.”

The man stayed silent, taking in your every word but knowing to speak now would halt the tracing of your thoughts; hinder you from fully opening up.

“Does she think because I'm grown it doesn't have a major effect on me? Henry wasn't just her son, he was like my brother. Families are supposed to be there for each other when you lose someone– and, and then I almost lost her too. I mean, you remember all the pills; how she never left her room. I could hear her some nights, just talking to herself. She was talking to something that wasn't real more than she talked to me!”

Now you were struggling, that choking feeling tightened around your throat and broke some of your words, mask slipping as the weight of everything started to collapse in on you just like– “And the cave. I… I'd never been more scared in my life, being in there with you guys. There's so many times I thought I was gonna die but nothing scared me like that. I still hear all the walkers sometimes, how she screamed, the sound of that dynamite going off. I still feel like I'm coated in dust just–... What was she thinking? I was right next to her. It's like I was invisible, or erased from her memory, and all she remembers is Henry.”

Daryl pulled you to him before you'd even realized you were crying, holding your stiff body against his, and through a few sobs, feeling you relax and give in. His strong arm wrapped around you was the most secure you'd felt in a long time.

“Shhh… s'alrigh’. ‘M ‘ere.” Soothing words were few and simple, but they were what you needed; the reminder that someone saw you, remembered you, and took account for your feelings in all of this.

You scooted closer to him, further tucking your head into his chest as if you were trying to finally find a moment of peace by escaping into his embrace. Daryl rubbed his palm over your shoulder, doing nothing but just being there for you.

A moment passed and you recomposed yourself to some extent, shuffling away with a sniffle while he loosened the hug. His eyes caught yours for just a second, seeing so much of himself reflected in your irises.

“Sorry, didn't mean to…” You trailed off while rubbing your face with the back of your hand, ridding the salty streaks from your skin and gesturing. You turned away, embarrassed from your venting and finding it hard to face him.

“Don't. Whole point'ah talkin’ is so ya ain't bottlin’ allat to yerself.” He quieted again, casting his gaze to you then up to the sky as he fidgeted with his hands. “Had a brother too; from before. Was an asshole, but still ma brother.”

You perked up a little, following his line of sight to the black above you. “What happened?..”

“Wa'salways gettin’ stuck with tha wrong people; last time jus’ cost ‘em. Happened bouta year into this; had tah put ‘em down mahself.”

“I'm sorry…” You swallowed and unsurely nibbled on the gummy flesh of your cheek. Was there ever really a right way to respond to that kind of thing?

“Ts'fine, long time ago. Point is I get how it is tah lose family like tha’, ‘nd ‘ll always listen when ya need it. Ya got me.”

“Thank you… for everything; bein’ there every time you already have. I really appreciate it, Daryl.” Truthfully, you'd flat out needed it. He'd remained a constant when all else altered. “I just don't know what to do anymore. Dad's been so distant too, and if I'm gonna lose him to cancer... I'll need her there for that.”

You licked your lips, taking a shaky inhale and biting your tongue a bit. “Sometimes I feel like all she sees when she looks at me is my head on a pike too.”

Daryl's jaw tensed, fearing you'd confess something like that. “‘Ll talk to ‘er.”

“No, you don't have to do that. I know you two are already–”

“Nah. ‘M gonna. Ya shouldn't ever think somethin’ like tha’. She still cares ‘bout ya: ts'jus’ hard for ‘er, been through a lot.” He gave a gentle squeeze to your shoulder before removing his hand. “She loves ya. Get sum rest.”

You nodded faintly, taking another breath to gather yourself and lifting from the spot to retreat inside, leaving the man to his own solemn nature.

❥-》》—————➣

Daryl often wondered if some things were worth it, this included; begrudgingly agreeing to let Carol tag along with him on what was meant to be a hunt, yet tracing paths back to that long abandoned cabin he would've preferred to add ‘forgotten’ in the title of.

He damned Dog for leading him back there, but figured something was going to push out the full story regarding how he spent all those years in the forest – and at least it opened the conversation for more important ones that needed to be had.

It wasn't ideal; borderline arguing with the woman he'd so casually dubbed his ‘best friend’, who'd been there when he needed her and vice versa. It hurt, but it wasn't all she hurt him for, and he was far from the only one she did.

“I'm sorry for Connie,” She spoke, head bowed and pursing her lips to shove back the tears that gathered in her waterlines. “But I'm not sorry for going after the horde and I'm not sorry for making Alpha pay for killing Henry because I was right.”

“‘Nd tha's all tha’ matters; you bein’ right, huh?” Daryl angled to look at her, keeping his forearm braced against the wooden post. She questioned the depth of his motivations, and he shook his head disapprovingly.

“Ts'ain't all about ‘em, ‘ts barely ‘bout me. ‘Ts ‘bout'cher damn kid; tha one ya still got.” They met eyes for a moment before hers shot away, shamefully avoiding the confrontation. “Ya think ‘bout ‘er in all this? Tha’ what you lost, she lost too? Ya know feels like she lost you? Tha’ she don’ sleep much anymore, misses you like yer already gone, ‘cause ya might as well be … Ya still have ‘er, ‘ts sum’thin’ we can't say fer a lotta people, so quit actin’ like ya don't.”

A painful silence settled, clawing at the both of them as he pivoted away and focused out the dirtied glass plane ahead of him. The archer bit back further words, part of him regretting the harshness of such even though it felt required.

“Ya shouldn'tah come.”; brought Carol's sharper attention back, sparking meaner accusations and disclosures between them – predominantly on Daryl's part – regarding their situations.

She turned around, drifting fingertips over the structuring of the cabin's foundation and sniffling before muttering a few things more and trailing into the other room.

Tension hung heavy enough to keep it mostly quiet, even as they later parted ways while returning to Alexandria, forced through seeming trials; Daryl with his motorcycle, and Carol while attempting to cook.

Once he finally got that damn bike working and rode home, he stifled a chuckle at how the silver-haired woman stood there, disheveled appearance matching his own. The man appreciatively declined her offer for soup, exhausted from his troubles and preferring to just go lay down with Dog.

He followed the shepherd round the house to enter through the front door, watching the cheerful wagging of his tail as he padded across the hardwood and down steps to the basement.

Daryl readjusted his crossbows strap around his shoulder, brushing back his hair before descending. He picked up Carol's voice in the distance, sequenced by yours, and paused to shift his vision for just a quick glance; you perched against the kitchen counter, bowls on the surface, and for the first time in a while, a genuine smile on your face as the older woman came up beside you.

His own tugged the slightest bit at one side of his mouth, satisfied with the apparent reconnecting. He continued his action, setting his things down in his room before partially undressing and flopping back on that couch.

Even if his relationship with Carol remained rocky, granting some stability to yours was enough for him. That was worth it.

©corvidcrossbow 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified or adapted to other platforms. My work may be translated only if asked and with proof of given consent.

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thosewickedlovelies · 2 days

Text

it's where I belong

Summary: Rancher Boy!Javier Peña’s queer awakening

Tags: bisexual Javier Peña (although his identity is not explicitly stated); the bartender ships it; javier peña x OMC

Words: 1,937

Note: Title (and general inspo for this installment) is taken from the song Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan. You don't have to read the rest of Rancher Boys for this to make sense, but you should bc it's great 😌 Happy pride :)

Masterlist

Once, Javier Peña walked into a bar in June.

It wasn’t that kind of bar. Or at least, he hadn’t thought it was. But looking around, he noticed a lot of people who seemed…sparkly, somehow. And affectionate. And there, on the back wall by the pool tables, hung a large, rainbow-striped flag, fluttering over the bricks.

“Can I get you anything?” A bartender appeared in his line of sight.

Javier tore his gaze from the flag.

“Whiskey, on the rocks.”

The bartender adjusted her cutoff flannel while the card machine booted up. It was tied beneath her chest, and the edges of a tattoo snaked along her ribs, the finer details blending into skin darker than Javi’s.

As Javi took out his card, he started, “Is this a…a bar for…”

Lord only knew what he thought he was trying to say. Thankfully, the bartender took pity on him. “A gay bar?”

“…Yeah.”

“Not explicitly. ‘We’re friendly to all’,” the woman quoted pointedly. She pushed a coaster toward him with that very declaration stamped beneath a depiction of a familiar sign. Friendly’s, read the green neon loops- the same as the ones above the door he’d entered through.

Ah.

“We just like to make sure everyone knows.” Her head tilted. “Is that a problem?”

“No,” Javier said.

After a beat, the bartender relaxed. “There’s not usually this much rainbow stuff in here. But we always go big for pride month.”

“Pride month?” Belatedly, Javi recalled the rainbow logos and merchandise that he’d noticed appearing over the past few days. Because it was…June? “Oh.”

The bartender had stepped back to dry some clean glasses. Now she smiled slightly, turning to face him. “You new in town?”

From a booth near the pool table, several voices rose in chorus with a soulful pop song playing from the speakers. Five sets of masculine shoulders swayed; they exhibited not a shred of self-consciousness. The bartender sent them a fond look.

“Temporarily. I’m here for a few weeks on business, with my pa.” Javi sipped his whiskey, the burn a warm, familiar comfort.

“Workin’ hard, then,” she deadpanned.

Before Javier could reply, her face softened, all her attention diverted to a second woman that had appeared beside him, leaning over the bar. Her black sequined top let out a spill of cleavage that Javi quickly averted his gaze from.

“Hola, mi amor,” the second woman cooed.

“Hola, nena.” The bartender set down her work and met the woman over the bar top with a lingering kiss.

“Puedo tomar una bebida? Tengo mucho sed,” the woman purred. Can I have a drink? I’m so thirsty. But it wasn’t any of the bottles behind the bar that claimed her attention. Her eyes danced up and down the bartender’s body, gleaming.

She angled Javi a sharp, appraising glance. Javi met her gaze, then deliberately looked away, sipping his drink. Satisfied, she sat back on her stool.

The bartender, after extracting another kiss from the woman, brought her a glass of something clear and full of ice, and Javier listened to them talk. About their days, about their friend’s new cat, about what to have for dinner tomorrow. They sounded like every other couple Javier had ever known. They could have been Steve and Connie, if Steve and Connie knew anyone who would adopt a hairless cat or complained about gringos clogging up their favorite taco place.

Two of the men in the booth embraced when the song they’d been singing ended. One of their friends threw a fry at them, dramatically lamenting his own singlehood. Javi looked down and swirled the ice cube remaining in his glass, feeling simultaneously alone and strangely reluctant to leave.

The bartender reappeared in front of him. “Another whiskey?”

Clearing his throat, Javier straightened. “No, I shouldn’t. Thank you.” He made to stand and don his sunglasses

“Come back anytime. A lot of nice people come in this time of year.”

Javi gave a nod to her and then to her partner. The woman smiled in return, and Javier left the rainbow flags rippling behind him.

—

Twice, Javier Peña walked into a bar in June.

It wasn’t that kind of bar, but you wouldn’t know it looking around. The place was full of bubbly, happy people of every appearance on the gender spectrum, and some off the spectrum besides. Rainbow was too limited of a word to describe the variety of colors on flags.

All the same, it felt…relaxed. Homey. Pool balls cracked from a trio of tables. Too-big groups squashed into booths, giggling over knocked elbows and pressed-together thighs. Dancing broke out sporadically, the odd couple swaying alone or groups unable to resist the combination of the music playing and the contents of their glasses.

“Oye, whiskey boy!” The bartender Javi had met before popped up behind the counter in front of him. “Nice to see you again. The same on the rocks?”

Tonight she could have been mistaken for a college bartender, in a t-shirt snipped and tied to within an inch of its life. Glitter streaked her long black braids. Javier couldn’t help but wonder if her more feminine partner had had a hand in either statement. Tonight the bartender’s eyes were wide and bright, as if absorbing the energy in the bar and reflecting it back.

“Just a beer, thanks.”

Javi found a stool near the end of the bar, bottle in hand. He didn’t really have a plan of any kind. He could, technically, take someone back to his hotel room, but he didn’t relish the thought of his [pops] potentially seeing them leave tomorrow morning. He wasn’t in the market to make friends. His usual play was to nurse a few drinks while people-watching alone, but somehow that felt…wrong, here.

Or maybe it was Javier who was wrong. This place sure felt like a gay bar tonight, and he didn’t really have a place in one of those. Everyone else seemed to have friends and lovers and grins on their faces. What was he doing here, besides bringing the mood down with his brooding?

“You’re looking at that bottle like it’s about to break your heart.”

Javier looked up (and up, and up) at a man with desert-blond hair sticking out from under a Texas A&M ballcap. He was good-looking, Javi supposed, and dressed pretty normally if you didn’t count the sinfully tight fit of his shirt. He might have been one of few people in the bar besides Javi himself who didn’t have rhinestones somewhere on their person. Fine lines were just visible at the corners of his eyes, so it might have been his rangy build- or maybe the openness of his smile- that made him look young.

All of Javi's dependable wittiness seemed to have fled. His mouth quirked by muscle memory. “Nah, beer’s about the only thing that hasn’t broken my heart,” Javi tried.

The younger man laughed. “Can I get you another one, then?”

And so Javi allowed himself to be drawn into conversation with the man. Jason, his name was. The bartender gave him a friendly nod as she deposited their drinks- he must have been a regular here. It was nice, talking to someone- about himself, about Jason, about nothing at all. This kind of…companionship, however brief it would end up being, was something Javier hadn’t realized he’d been missing.

He relaxed into it. Into the comfortable, friendly atmosphere of the bar. Javi wasn’t blind. He saw the admiration in the younger (for he was indeed slightly younger) man’s eyes, heard the comments that tiptoed just this side of flirtatious. He didn’t discourage it. Why would he? It felt like it’d been a damn long time since Javier had been so enjoyed.

And he found himself enjoying Jason in return. There was a warmth, an awareness prickling in Javi’s chest that he recognized. It spread the longer they sat and talked, sparked in his fingers, the ends of his hair. It felt like…something loosening in him. Some knot unraveling that he hadn’t ever acknowledged was there.

As the night wound down, though- as their knees bumped and their laughter came warmer- Javier felt the knot drawing tighter again. He came to a decision. Quickly, gruffly, he confessed: he’d never done this before. He hadn’t set out find someone like this, didn’t want Jason to feel used- but Javi did want him. Had he mentioned that part?

As Javi half-stood from his stool, breathing hard, mouth dry, Jason’s look of surprise melted into something else. He placed his hand on Javi’s knee. Jason’s warm smile set fire to Javier, and the knot in his chest turned to ash and flaked away.

—

There was more than one knot to his fears, Javier would discover. There was a whole web, intricately tangled and connected to subjects he would have never imagined. Some of the knots he picked at thoroughly, taking the time to smooth every kink (ahem) in their connecting cords. Some, he would realize, during the course of his research, were actually stupid, and these he excised without a second thought. Others, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to undo completely.

But that was for future-Javi to worry about. Present-Javi was tangled in much more pleasant things, like bedsheets and Jason’s unexpectedly strong arms. They spent many long, long nights together over the next few weeks. A few mornings, too, making Chucho raise his eyebrows upon seeing his son dash back through the hotel to shower, shirt buttoned askew and sweat still gleaming on his neck.

It was a dizzying fling. But Jason was a good teacher, and Javi had never been one to shy from a challenge. By the end he’d have Jason flush-faced and gasping, making jokes like “my best student” and “Remind me to bring you a gold star next time”.

Javi didn’t remind him, of course, and Jason didn’t bring any gold stars.

He brought something else.

“I got you a present,” he said, and Javi did a double take.

“What?”

“I mean, it’s just a little thing, they sell them everywhere during pride month, and I just thought…” Jason shrugged, fidgeting bashfully, and held out his hand.

In it sat a small pin in the shape of a waving flag. Its rainbow stripes were unmistakable. Javi stared at it, his throat constricting. Slowly, he took it from Jason’s palm, the metal cool against his fingertips.

“You got me a pride pin.”

“You don’t have to wear it, or put it anywhere visible, obviously. I just thought…to remember me by. To remember yourself by.” Jason looked up from under his lashes then. Whatever else Javier took from their time together, Jason wanted him to remember the significant conversations they’d had.

Emotion swelled unexpectedly in Javier’s chest. He reached out, wrapped his fingers in Jason’s hair, and tugged him closer. Jason accepted his kiss with a sigh of pleasure, and they spent the next several minutes memorizing each other’s taste, the feel of their bodies pressed together, warm and firm.

Finally they parted, lips swollen, breath mingling. “Thank you,” Javier said, voice rough. “I’ll remember.”

He didn’t wear the pin. But he put it in his pocket, and it gave him a little jolt every time the edges poked him.

–

Their paths didn't cross again. But Javi takes the rainbow pin with him everywhere he travels, and on a ranch in Tennessee, he takes it out and studies it. He thinks of a man, and a woman, and another flag striped in red, blue, and black.

Thanks for reading :) ♥️♥️

Dividers by strangergraphics

#javier peña fic #narcos fic #javier peña x omc #javier peña fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pride fic

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 hours

Note

AITA for possibly being a dick to my friends?

I (15, genderfluid) have had a group of friends since I was 12-13 (all about my age, mostly F but varying degrees of gender). We'd have the occasional drama, mostly started by my now-ex friend (let's call her A) (15F), but everything was pretty okay.

That was until about February, when my friend, B (15F) broke up with A. B told me that A had been saying some nasty things about me behind my back (that I'm sensitive, ugly, annoying, etc). I was hurt, because I thought A was a good friend prior to learning this. I confronted A about it (I didn't tell her that B told me), and our relationship got a bit rocky from there. I ended up blocking A for my own mental health.

Quick context break, from what I can piece together, A would call me sensitive because I would protest her and others joking about suicide.

Things started getting hairy when our mutual friend C (15M) told everyone that he didn't think I was sensitive, and that the casual joking about suicide had caused him a lot of problems. A then immediately did a 180 and tried to end the drama between us by getting B to send me messages she wanted me to hear. However, despite apparently wanting to end the drama, she did not apologize to me, and instead said, "I'm not sorry, because in my eyes you are sensitive," amongst other things.

Around this time, my then-partner, D (14NB) broke up with me, citing they weren't in the right mental state for a relationship. A week later, they started dating B.

I was feeling really hurt and lied to at this point, and I kind of cut off D until C got me and them into a group chat to talk through our problems. We made a bit of progress and talked through our feelings. I was two hours ahead of them at the time, though, so it was past midnight for me.

A slightly important part of this story is that I have a tendency to write self-indulgent poetry about my feelings. This includes one about the red flags I noticed in me and D's relationship, but ignored. To wrap up the conversation and get to sleep, I sent that poem to C and D instead of a proper explanation of some of the stuff I was mad at D about. (In retrospect, this was a very stupid idea. But I was desperate for sleep, so?)

A couple days later, C explained to me that the drama between me and A had kind of messed him up, and that for his own mental health, he would go no-contact with me for a while to work on himself (which is fine, that's respectable).

Afterwards, B seemingly got mad at me for the whole poem thing, so I asked her about it. We had what I felt like was a mature conversation, and wrapped up most of the problems she had with it (mostly that it looked like I had compared D to an unsavory public figure, which I explained was not my intention). I also sent an apology to D for insulting them and causing any problems with that poem. They said it was fine, and that they weren't that offended.

Today (just barely, in fact), B blocked me, stating that I talk too much shit and cause a lot of problems.

Tldr;

Why I might be TA: There's a very real possibility that I do talk too much shit without realizing it, especially because, in the past, I've been known to not realize when people are uncomfortable with my actions unless they directly tell me.

Why I might not be TA: I feel like, for my situation, and knowing only what I knew at the time, I made justified decisions.

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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jujumin-translates · 3 days

Text

[18TRIP] Ten Murakumo | [SSR] Crow Under The Full Moon | Two/Faced

Location: HAMA Tours - Office Floor

Momiji: Alright, finally done…!

Momiji: (I know it was a bad idea to work overtime, but it just didn’t sit right with me to rest with paperwork left to do.)

Momiji: Now I can just take it easy tomorrow…

Ten: Good work, Chief.

Momiji: Oh, Ten-kun. I thought you left already… Did you forget something?

Ten: Well, I guess you could say that. More importantly, are you done working?

Ten: Want to go out for a drink now? I’d love to treat you to a good drink as a reward for working so hard this late.

Ten: Sound good? Let’s go.

Momiji: (...This is a little suspicious. Since when has Ten-kun been the type to say something so admirable like that?)

Momiji: (But since he’s gone through the trouble of asking me…)

Momiji: Alright, but just one drink.

Ten: That’s the answer I was looking for. Miss, if you’d like to follow me.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Location: Bar

Momiji: It’s so quiet in here…

Ten: Have you been here before by any chance? Right. This is Kuguri-san’s favorite bar.

Ten: Last time he brought me here as a “reward”, I got totally hooked.

Bartender: Sorry for the wait. Here’s your Hungarian wine and Klondike Highball.

Momiji: Thank you very much.

Ten: Alright, a toast to all the hard work and effort done by you, Chief… Cheers.

Momiji: C-Cheers.

*Glasses clink*

Ten: Must be a lot having to deal with so many different types of members. Now’s a good opportunity, so if you want to complain about any of them, I’m all ears.

Ten: I am always on your side, after all.

Momiji: I know and I thank you for that.

Momiji: (Ten-kun feels a little closer today than he usually is… He’s a lot more touchy-feely than usual too.)

Momiji: (He even playfully hugged my shoulders on the way here… Just what is up with him?)

Momiji: …Mhm, the wine is really good.

Ten: Right? You don’t have to keep it to one glass, you know. Drink as much as you want.

Ten: It’s on me today, so don’t hold yourself back.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Momiji: (Yikes… I feel a little dizzy.)

Momiji: (I think I ended up drinking too much because Ten-kun kept encouraging me. Thank God I have the day off tomorrow…)

Ten: Are you drunk? Your face is so red. Cute.

Momiji: (Isn’t he way too close? I can really see how long his eyelashes are like this…)

Momiji: (Huh? Did he just glance at someone behind me?)

Momiji: (Nobody’s there… Maybe I just imagined it.)

Ten: …Ah.

Momiji: What’s wrong?

Ten: I think I’m a little bit drunk too…

Ten: Why don’t we go outside and get some fresh air?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Location: Wharf

Momiji: Alright, keep steady. Just walk straight ahead.

Ten: Haha, you’re sooo warm, Momiji-san.

Ten: I just want to borrow your shoulder and keep walking like this forever…

*Fabric rustles*

Momiji: Uwhoa!?

Ten: Since there’s no one to disturb us, that means I’m allowed to indulge myself at least for today, riiiight?

Ten: Let me hug youuu.

Momiji: Hold on, you’re all over the place…! Be careful! I’m going to go get you some water, so just go and sit on that bench over there, and—.

*Footsteps*

Momiji: (Footsteps? Someone’s coming up to us…!)

Unknown Woman: Haah, haah… Ten…!

Ten: …You’re finally here. Took you long enough.

Momiji: Huh? W-What do you mean…?

· ❀ —– ٠ ❀ ٠ —– ❀ ·

Unknown Woman: Ten… Who is that? Is she…!?

Momiji: (S-She’s glaring at me really intensely!)

Momiji: Who is this woman…?

Ten: My ex-girlfriend.

Momiji: What?

Ten: I’m going to let you in on a “little secret”, so just listen to me for a moment, okay?

Ten: She started stalking me after we broke up. She’d always be following me around, whether I was going to campus or working part-time for HAMA Tours.

Ten: I really wish she’d just give it a rest already~. Maybe if she sees I have a new partner, it’ll snap her back to reality.

Momiji: …I see. So you’ve been putting on a show for her.

Momiji: Does that mean your drunkenness was just an act too? Did you really have to go that far?

Ten: It’s gotta be realistic. Doing stuff like that is important. Please keep up the good work for me~, Chief.

Ten: Even though I just work part-time, I’m still a member of HAMA Tours. Isn’t caring for my mental health part of the job?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Option 1: Play along with Ten’s act.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Momiji: (I’m really curious to know about the kind of breakup that would lead to this kind of thing happening, and I’m really curious about his relationships too, so…)

Momiji: There’s no avoiding it… If you’re in trouble, I’ll help you, Ten-kun.

Ten: That’s what I was hoping to hear. That’s what I love about you, Chief.

Ten: Alright, follow my lead. I’m going to hug your shoulders, so cling to me with everything you’ve got, okay?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Option 2: It’s better to be honest.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Momiji: …If that’s your plan, then I can’t help you. You should just be honest and talk to her properly.

Ten: I thought you’d say that.

Ten: So that’s the kind of person you are, Chief. You’re one of those people who think they can understand almost everyone if you just talk to them.

Momiji: I didn’t mean to sound that naive, I just…

Ten: I’m not so sure about that~. You’ve always been so carefully protected, so you probably wouldn’t understand…

Ten: Don’t you know that there are some things in this world that can’t be solved with lip service?

Ten: And that’s why I’ve got to reject your opinion, Chief. The show must go on.

Momiji: (H-He put his hand on my waist…!!)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: Hey, stop being so secretive and say something already! Who is she!?

Ten: Do you really not get it unless I spell it out for you? You’ve been watching us all this time, so you should get it by now.

Ten: She’s my new partner.

Momiji: (He’s nuzzling his cheek against mine. Isn’t this a bit much…!?)

Ten: That’s why you need to just give up and move on to someone else.

Momiji: Be careful with what you say! You don’t want to provoke her too much…!

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: …Y-You don’t have any clue how I was feeling…!!

Momiji: (This is bad, she’s rushing at us…!)

Momiji: Watch out, get away from—.

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: Ughh, you should’ve just said so from the beginning~!! As long as you’re happy, Ten, then everything’s okay!

Momiji: (She’s smiling happily and giving us a thumbs up!?)

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: Ah, I’m so sorry for misunderstanding. I—.

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: I was just so, so worried about whether or not you were happy after we broke up. I guess I just ended up following you around by accident.

Momiji: Huh?

Momiji: What!?

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: This one here’s got a nice face, but he’s kind of a mess, isn’t he? And on top of that, he’s got no real life skills, he’s like the epitome of a sugar baby.

Momiji: (That sure is a whole lot something that she’s saying…)

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: But. He was really kind to someone like me. I just wanted him to be happy.

Ten: …Huh.

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: Looks like everything’s okay. I’m glad. I’ll never follow you around again, don’t worry.

Ten’s Ex-Girlfriend: I… Hope things last between you and her for a long time. I wish you both the best!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Ten: …Haah. That’s finally over with.

Momiji: Having a stalker like that is hard to believe. But I’m glad there’s someone who cares about you that much.

Ten: I didn’t ask for that, though.

Momiji: Even so, you should be more happy to see such a wonderful person, Ten-kun.

Ten: Ohoho, giving me advice, are we? So you’re talkative when you’re drunk, huh~? If you keep on talking, I might have to shut that mouth of yours myself.

Momiji: How can you even do that?

Ten: …

Ten: It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. It’s not fun when drunk people take things so seriously.

Ten: Good work, Chief-san. Let’s call it here for today.

Ten: I’ll repay you for this eventually.

#18trip #18trip translation #ten murakumo #// hi i hope you guys don’t mind some 18trip content #dunno how much 18trip stuff i’ll tl but. hands you this for now

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luminouslywriting · 3 days

Note

hello! could you do headcanons of BoB mens with a nurse?? 💕

Hi sweet Nonny! I have a soft spot for this particular idea, so I hope you enjoy! As always, my requests are open and I don't mind spam!

Cut for length, more under the cut, light spice sprinkled in:

Dick Winters:

-Winters has a lot on his mind and falling in love with a field nurse is admittedly not on his radar....so that being said, it's a gradual thing that he's barely even aware of

-But you know who is totally clocking the way that he checks on you, takes the time to talk to you even when he's busy, and always is super kind to you? Lewis Nixon. Lew picks up on this and brings it to Winter's attention.

-He's not exactly trying to start anything with the war on, but once he's aware of the feelings, he tries to maintain professional decorum and courtesy.

-However....he can't help but be worried about you, especially during the winter months. It's probably at this juncture that he lets you know that he's thinking about you and worried often.

-He's very sweet and definitely needs a partner where there's an equality in taking care of one another, so this balances out beautifully.

-Also loves when you medically info-dump, he finds it adorable haha

Lewis Nixon:

-Immediately becomes besties with you in Toccoa because his brain cells told him you'd be the best person to be friends with. He was right, he just didn't expect to have a thing for you amidst his divorce.

-The friendship is honestly a lifeline to him and you keep him going for a while—there's just a lot of being there for one another and checking in on one another.

-It's not just friendship stuff though; he's a chronic flirt and can't help that the two of you already act like an old married couple (in the most positive and great way possible)

-When the divorce goes through near the end of the war, he realizes that it's all working out for the best anyway; you've been by his side the entire time anyway

-Has a really sweet confession with you when you're in Austria and expresses that he couldn't have done any of what he did without you

-Also is super supportive of career and life goals that you have for when you get back to the states

Ronald Speirs:

-Honestly, he sees you as one of the few people that he trusts implicitly because you're just good at your job anyway and you're there to help the men, not to gain glory

-It automatically endears you to him in a way that literally no one else (sans the medics lol) will ever understand

-I think the relationship honestly is a bit back and forth/will they-won't they for a while....and that leads to some hooking up casually in between missions or whenever you two can get a free second

-And he does want to make things official, but he also doesn't want you to feel committed to him and then have something happen

-So he doesn't commit to admitting how he feels until after the end of the war, at which point he romantically shows up at your home and confesses everything

-Please just say yes, he's been in love with you FOREVER

Buck Compton:

-Probably meets you when he takes one of his friends to the aid station and you're there

-He's immediately lovestruck with practical heart eyes....and yes, Donald Malarkey has to hear way too much about you from this point onwards haha

-Writes home about you to his family and starts making little visits to the aid station unannounced when there's precious little downtime to see how you're doing

-Things are a casual sweet thing and nothing really happens between the two of you since it's war and there's really not time for that

-But then he ends up at the aid station after Bastogne and is so mortified about everything and doesn't want to talk to you at all. He's ashamed of how he left things before he ended up back at home because he didn't really tell you goodbye or anything.

-Once the war is over though, he tracks you down to tell you that he's sorry and that he loves you.

Carwood Lipton:

-Honestly? You're a source of light during the hard times and just as much of a mom as he is a dad haha. The two of you are such mother hens over all of the men in Easy Company, no one can win if the two of you team up.

-That being said, you're also obnoxiously trying to get the other person to take care of themselves.

-He's not about to say anything to you, despite his many letters home to his sisters and his mother about you

-But when he gets pneumonia? After Bastogne? Just take care of him and coddle him and love on him a bit. All bets will be off the table as to when he tells you that he has feelings.

-Probably starts a relationship with you once you're both in Austria and asks you to marry him before the end of the war

-Everyone in Easy Company regards you two as the mom and dad since Nixon and Winters aren't around as much haha

Joe Liebgott:

-Doesn't wanna go to the aid station, doesn't think he needs anyone to help him, doesn't even wanna have medical attention—and all of these complaints literally shut him up the minute he sets eyes on you

-And suddenly he's very chilled out and okay to be there?? Yeah, he's chill now.

-Some light flirting and touchiness here or there, but nothing too serious

-He probably even convinces you to have a fling in the hospital closet or something—war is war, after all

-But doesn't consider anything you two have serious until after episode 9 and then he realizes just what you mean to him and he has a whole revelatory period where he treats you like you're God or something

-Absolutely proposes before you make it out of Austria haha

Donald Malarkey:

-This sweet man? Who constantly is taking his friends to and from the aid station and hanging out and checking on people? Absolutely and easily makes friends with you.

-It's not necessarily flirting, per say. He's very respectful and very sweet about mentioning that you're low on supplies to higher ups or asking if the aid station is still doing okay.

-Doesn't even realize he has feelings for you?? Probably not until the very end of the war.

-And then he's freaking out because you're all gonna be going your separate ways in the next few weeks and how is he gonna find you then??

-Well it's quite simple really, you already gave him your address haha. So he spends some time at home before making a trip out to see you.

-It's not a "date date" but it's definitely a date and it just progresses from there lol

Eugene Roe:

-Literally Easy Company's shining ship of dreams?? Like if you and Roe don't make it, then there's no hope for anyone else haha.

-You two have worked together since Toccoa and were always close, speaking in your own practical secret language and exchanging smiles, stealing moments with one another

-In fact, they wouldn't be surprised if the two of you aren't already married. Except for the fact that you're not and the two of you are being SLOW AF about your feelings.

-In Bastogne though? It's a whole catalyst for him telling you how he feels because you narrowly make it out of the church before it collapses and it's a whole shitshow.

-And he's thinking about the fact that he almost lost you and you would've never known how loved you are or how much he'd miss you

-Yeah you two are getting married in Europe before the end of the war haha

Bill Guarnere:

-This man is an escapee from the hospital wing multiple times. And those multiple times, he struck up a pretty good friendship with you.

-He wasn't happy to be there initially, but once he found out you were from Philly too, he chilled out completely and the two of you became great friends

-Bill writes you when he's in the field since you're always back in the hospitals at London

-And Joe knows that he may or may not have a crush on you, and is always prodding him to just admit things to you

-But it isn't until they show up together in the hospital, both missing legs, that things are admitted

-He's pleasantly surprised and shocked when you kiss him and tell him that he took way too long and you're too committed to him at this point haha

Joe Toye:

-A sweet man like this ends up at the aid station and isn't too happy about it—but he takes his medicine like a man and is very respectful.

-You don't really want to clear him to go back into the field but you do, somewhat begrudgingly.

-And when he ends up back in the hospital, leg missing and in total distress, it's you that keeps him centered and keeps him going.

-He doesn't realize until he gets back to the states that he misses you, so he starts writing you letters. He doesn't expect anything to come of writing you—who would want to end up with him, after the accident, after all?

-And slowly, the letters from him stop. And so you just roll up one day?? Like SIR, I LIKE YOU—WRITE ME BACK!

-The wedding is the cutest thing ever and only a few members of Easy Company are invited.

George Luz:

-He hits on you from Day 1 in Toccoa. And when you give him a shot in the butt, it shuts him right up and he does not flirt with you (verbally anyway) anymore after that haha.

-He becomes your most vocal supporter and parrots your instructions back to the men because you know what you're talking about

-Checks in on you after each jump to see how you're doing and make sure that the men aren't treating you rudely

-You two probably hook up after Bastogne and his near-death experiences, leading to a budding relationship between the two of you

-Don't worry, Lipton ignores it so he doesn't have to deal with the consequences lol

-And George? He's absolutely ready to marry you and proposes the same day that the war ends

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steddieunderdogfics · 9 hours

Text

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: indelicate/@steddielations ! They have 13 fics in the Stranger Things fandom and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

lees_musings recommends the following works by @steddielations:

A Cup of Good Intentions

Trouble Looks Good On You

Wrap Me Around Your Finger

"their fics are so heartwarming and tender, i read them like comfort food"

"a cup of good intentions was the first steddie fic i read, it has a little velvet box in my heart <3" -- lees_musings

Below the cut, @steddielations answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

They’re just a really fun ship that you can do so many different things with. Just guys who need some healing and loving and I like giving it to them!! Also I see a lot of myself in both Steve and Eddie, so there’s some catharsis in writing them too.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, friends with benefits

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

The same as above definitely

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

These are all phenomenal and I think about them every day, they truly stick with me METAMORPHOSES by fastcardotmp3 A Certain Type by ann_anotherthing Sugar on my tongue by deadratz shake and sway me through the night by Craftnarok

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I feel like I’ve written all the canonverse stuff that I wanted to now, so I’m excited to try out some au’s. Maybe once I finish up my current wips, I have this batman Steve and comic book writer Eddie idea that’s been in my mind forever now

What is your writing process like?

I brainstorm by writing down all the ideas I have for a particular story, then I try to organize it into a plot. Sometimes I just plan scene by scene, but I always write the dialogue first and then build around it.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Usually the best things aren’t added until I’m editing at the end, going back and doing finishing touches. Like with Trouble for instance, I didn’t add the kitchen conversation or the porch swing conversation or the joking scene with Gareth originally, it was all stuff I just decided to add when editing. Same for a lot of my fics, usually the things I get comments about the most are things I almost didn’t add.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’m the worst at scheduling and posting so whenever it’s done is when it goes up

Which fic are you most proud of?

I’m most proud of Bleed Me Dry Before You Go because it’s the fic that I was really able to put the most of myself into.

How did you get the idea for Trouble Looks Good On You?

Well I knew I wanted to write a sub Eddie discovery fic, and honestly this just started as like a gag, just thinking about Steve’s jock habit of slapping asses and what would happen if he did that to Eddie, and that’s what awakens it. Then it gradually became something more serious and more thoughtful. I wanted to explore more of Eddie having this past where he’s had bad experiences with certain dynamics, and what it would mean for him to be comfortable enough to get to explore that side of himself with Steve.

When writing Trouble Looks Good On You, what was something you didn’t expect?

It started out as mostly crack so I didn’t expect it to become my longest, most character involved fic. Also I didn’t expect people to read it or like it because it was mostly for myself, so I’ve been very pleasantly surprised and grateful for the response to it.

What inspired Wrap Me Around Your Finger?

I realized I hadn’t written a virgin Eddie fic, and at the same time I wanted to explore more of what Eddie’s aftermath in Hawkins would be like, the full extent of his injuries and his reputation in the town, and maybe Steve helping him out, so it all meshed together. I worked on this for like a year so it had many phases, but adding in some Flight of Icarus lore also inspired me to make Eddie more gritty in this, very stubbornly attached to his independence, and I just love the depth it gave him in that fic in the end.

What was your favorite part to write from Wrap Me Around Your Finger?

Definitely all the banter, especially during the smut scenes, love a silly smut scene. Also can’t forget “I made sure there’s no stairs”

How do/did you feel writing A Cup of Good Intentions?

I cried so many times writing that. I just put myself in the position of Eddie and Wayne, thinking about my relationship with my dad. It was cathartic just writing that familial bond between Eddie and Wayne, and how deep that love goes through mourning and missing each other and then actually getting to reunite. It was an emotional one.

What was the most difficult part of writing A Cup of Good Intentions?

The fic had several different tones from grieving to yearning to suspense and also fluff and romance, so it was hard to blend that all together and make it flow without whiplash. Not sure if I succeeded but it was hard to do.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

The cold open in Trouble, where it sounds like they’re hooking up but they’re actually moving an amp, probably the most clever innuendo unfolding I’ll ever make

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’ve got some stuff for sub Eddie week but after that I’m just focusing on finishing up Trouble finally

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

At the moment that I’m writing this, I don’t know who nominated me, so I want to say thanks so much to that person!! I’m so flattered and I appreciate it!! Also to anyone who reads my fics, thank you genuinely. And to the mods of this blog, you’re all awesome for doing this and you’re so appreciated in the fandom!!

Thank you to our author, indelicate, and our nominator, lees_musings! See more of indelicate's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's spotlight #writer's wednesday #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #ao3 writer #steddie writers

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probably-writing-x · 2 days

Text

All The Firsts

Summary: Heyyyy! So, could you write something about the reader being in her first relationship with spider (hbh) and her being worried about how she’s new at this? Or just something fluff about spider? Idk if this makes sense

Warnings: Mentions of sex / sexual acts, mentions of low self esteem / self depreciating thoughts, cursing

Word Count: 6.5k

Author’s Note: Okay I loved writing this so much I’m sorry it ended up so long !! But plz let me know if you want a part 2 because I’ve got SO many ideas about reader navigating relationships etc. !!!!

Spider had a reputation. It was practically notorious. He was one of the Hartley boys that you were certain would never settle down. He made crude comments and bitter insults and there was no way he’d ever want a relationship. In fact, you were certain he’d never been with the same girl more than twice. That was just a rumour though. He’d spoken to girls for months, did all of that relationship stuff with them without it being a full relationship. Then he’d dated Missy. And that lasted a good few months, he even held her hand around school. He introduced her as his girlfriend, he cancelled plans to be with her. It was a proper relationship. But it ended after those few months. You were told that she ended it, but then Ant told you Spider had ended it, and Spider told you it was mutual. You didn’t ask again.

You and Spencer had been friends since the two of you were kids. Maybe friends was a stretch. You know that kid you’re just friends with because your Mums were inseparable? That kid you only saw because you could see his bedroom window from your own? He’d lived next to you since you’d been born and so you’d spent your baby years sharing baths and crawling around on the same baby mats, and then your toddler years stumbling around in the yard, learning to swim in the lake, learning to ride your bikes on the same street. Once you were both old enough to make your own decisions, that friendship had shifted. You two went into school together, but you didn’t interact much at school, and then you’d come back together too. He was in the popular group and you were far from it. You just didn’t have much in common anymore. Once he started driving, he’d drive you in every morning and make sure he got you home too. He never invited you to the popular people parties, and you never really saw him at weekends or anything, but he was always nice to you when you did see him. He’d smile at you if he passed you in the corridor but never say hi. In fact, you weren’t even sure if his friends knew your name, let alone that you’d seen Spider wet the bed when he’d had a sleepover at your house when the two of you were toddlers.

The older you grew up, the more you realised how different you and Spencer were. In fact, the more you realised how different you were to almost everyone else in your year at school. When that incest map got revealed, you were one of the names that wasn’t so much as mentioned. You’d looked at it too, searched for your name, even though you knew you wouldn’t find anything. Spider had a few lines drawn from his name then, but you knew it would be more if it was re-done now. And if they accounted for all the other people outside of school, there’d be even more.

“Spec? Are you good to go?”

Spencer cuts through your thoughts, snapping back to the reality of you being sat in the passenger seat of his car. He has one hand on the steering wheel and the other arm behind your seat ready to reverse from the parking space.

He never stopped calling you Spec. When you were younger you couldn’t say his name properly so ‘Spencer’ had morphed into ‘Spec’. And for some reason, a young Spencer had thought everyone had the same name. So you’d been Spec too. And it was still what both of you went by to each other now.

“I-“ You clear your throat, “Yeah.”

“Put your seatbelt on, your Mum would kill me,” He nods his head towards you, starting up the engine to reverse onto the street.

You oblige, clicking your seatbelt in and resting your head back against the chair, closing your eyes.

“Am I that unbearable?” He scoffs, indicating onto the road to the right.

“No, I’ve just got a headache,” You mumble, poking your eye open and glancing over at him, “You’re normally grumpy to be starting a school week again. What’s different?”

Spider shrugs, “I’m not at school yet, am I?”

“Fair point,” You hum, “How was your weekend?”

“I…” He stops to glance in the side mirror on your side of the car, indicating into the next lane, “I went to a party, got very pissed, and ended up arguing with Missy again.”

“About what this time?” You roll your eyes, drawing your knees up to your chest and resting your feet on the seat.

“She’s my ex, we’re always going to argue,” He shrugs, “I don’t even remember what started it this time, you know what it’s like.”

You scoff. Not exactly. But you wouldn’t say that. You assumed that Spider knew you never had a boyfriend or anything, mainly because it would be impossible for him to not know. But part of you thought he just assumed you’d at least been with guys - had people over, met people out, went on a few dates even. You didn’t exactly have the heart to admit that none of that had ever happened.

“Oi,” He cuts through your overthinking once again, “Get your feet off my seats.”

———

Your school day is relatively uneventful. Ant tried to start a food fight in the lunch hall and ended up just covered in food himself before getting sent to Woodsy’s office. Spider had started a rambling in your English class about how love is a stupid concept and Missy made a bitter comment about how it was because he was incapable of admitting how he felt. You never really asked him much about that whole relationship. She seemed like a nice girl and he seemed happy when he was with her. But maybe she was right, you couldn’t really imagine Spencer ever being able to talk properly about how he felt - and even if he did feel something, it seemed likely that he’d just try to suppress it.

He’s waiting by his car when you get out of your final class, swinging his keys around his index finger. His legs are crossed one over the other, his blonde locks falling in a shadow over either side of his forehead. He’s wearing a baggy green t-shirt over a long sleeved white top and cargo trousers that seem to swallow his form. Spider’s a handsome boy, and it irritates you that he knows it.

“Are you staring at me Spec?” He’s looking directly at you when you make eye contact with him, a smirk on his lips.

“Oh grow up,” You roll your eyes, dropping your bag down from your shoulder.

“God, you’re insatiable,” He wiggles his brows, taking your bag from you and tossing it into the back seats of the car.

“What ar-“

“Do you have plans?”

“No,” You respond, walking around to the other side of the car, a little apprehensive for what was coming next.

“Fancy a swim?”

You don’t say no, and not a single part of you wants to say no either. You liked this side of Spencer. You saw it more when the two of you were younger. He’d knock on your door with his bike and tell you that you were going on an adventure. The two of you would end up in the woods together for hours until you knew it was getting dark enough to mean that curfew was coming. Sometimes, he’d stop to go into the shop and buy you both snacks with the small allowance he had. It was always a can of soda and a bag of salt and vinegar chips. Always both to share.

Spider winds down the windows on both sides and hands you over the aux cable to put your playlist on. That was one thing he was always sure about. You were quieter than him, less popular, had less exciting stories to tell, didn’t really get into trouble like he did, but when it came to your music taste you would always one up him. His playlist was made up of at least 70% of songs that you’d recommended him - normally these little unknown local rock bands that you’d seen at a show, or a song you’d heard a snippet of and sent him as soon as it was released. Every so often it would be old songs that your Dad had brought you up on. And every single time, Spencer had to reluctantly admit that it was a good song, and days later you’d hear it blaring from the speakers in his room, travelling all the way across to your house. You’d text him to turn it down and he’d flip you off at the window and tell you this was your fault anyway. So, yes, the music was always your call.

Spider’s driving for a half hour before you get to the lake, and he parks up just by the trees. Both of you get out and he leads the way through, moving branches out of the way so they don’t hit you. Once you reach the clearing, the pair of you are overlooking the still water, stretching out for what seemed like miles in every direction. There’s a wooden pier on the close side that Spencer walks out onto.

“It’s probably freezing,” You point out, grimacing at the thought.

“I know,” Spencer laughs, tugging off his shoes and pulling down his trousers.

“You can’t be serious,” You feel your cheeks heat up, turning away from him.

“What? You’ve come all this way and you’re not going to get in?”

“I’ll sit on the edge,” You shrug, looking towards the tree line to avoid him as he stripped in front of you so nonchalantly, “I don’t even have a swimsuit.”

“I’m wearing my boxers, I don’t bring swim shorts everywhere with me,” He scoffs, evidently recognising your distaste towards the idea of wearing your underwear in front of him, “You can put my t-shirt on over you. I don’t mind.”

“I-“ You pause, “Well I…”

“I won’t look Spec, I’m not a perv.”

He steps forward and hangs the t-shirt over one of the wooden posts of the pier closer to you, stepping back. You glance over your shoulder to see him running towards the water, diving into the lake as if he had no fear at all. The splash sprays up far enough to reach you, specks of cold water dotting over your shoulders. Spencer lets out a noise somewhere between a yell and a yelp - shaking his head at the temperature of the water as he kicks back to get further in. He turns around to face away from you and raises his hands in some sort of gesture of peace as if reassuring you he wouldn’t look.

You shake your head, mainly at yourself. What was the big deal? You were going swimming. It wasn’t exactly a big thing. You take off your shoes, fold your trousers on top of them, fold your tank top over those, and hang your jacket up on one of the other wooden posts. Spencer’s clothes were sprawled over the pier without a care in the world. You tug his t-shirt over your body and let it hang over your thighs, the short sleeves dropping down to your elbows.

Spencer turns around in the water, his arms waving through the surface to keep him afloat, “Perfect fit,” He laughs, “Come on, no excuse now.”

“After how you screamed when you got in?” You roll your eyes, “Sounds so tempting.”

“Oh fuck off,” He shakes his head, swimming over to the edge of the pier as you sit down on the end, letting your legs dangle into the water.

He reaches his arms up towards you and you hold onto his forearms as his hands grip your waist. His eyes search for yours for approval before he helps lower you down, watching your face contort and grimace as the cold starts to hit you.

“Wait, wait, wait,” You shake your head as you fully hit the water, kicking your legs wildly beneath you as the water splashes over your shoulders.

Spencer laughs, his hands still on your waist, yours still gripping his arms tightly.

Your breath is shaky and you’re working a million miles a minute to catch up with it, looking into his laughing eyes as you get used to the temperature.

“Fucking hell, this was a stupid idea,” You grumble, finally seeming to relax.

“You’ll live,” Spencer rolls his eyes, swimming away from you and dunking his head under, curtains stuck flat against his temples when he comes back up.

You ease yourself into it, swimming a little further out to follow him.

Everything that Spider did, he just seemed to do so fearlessly. When he started his rants at school, when he said things nobody else did, he didn’t think about what the response would be, he just did it. When he started playing basketball, he was the worst one on the team and he still showed up every week. Now he was easily one of their best. Whenever you’d heard stories about him asking girls out, it was always him approaching them, asking the question and not being scared of the rejection. Though you weren’t sure anyone had ever outright rejected him yet. Maybe Amerie did, once, but you’d never asked him about that.

“So I heard something interesting at school today,” Spencer begins, turning around to face you.

“Go on.”

“You know that guy Malcolm?” He continues, a smirk tugging at his lips, “He did butt stuff with Suzie Cho.”

“Oh god, Spec, is there anything else you could’ve said to describe him?” You grimace, “Like literally anything else.”

“He did butt stuff with one of the Sarahs?” Spider shrugs, “Is that better?”

“Okay, okay, just carry on.”

“Well, apparently, Malcolm has a bit of a crush on you,” Spencer grins widely, “He was asking Ant who the chick is that I drive to school every morning.”

“Wh-“ You shake your head, “That’s probably not… I mean, he probably doesn’t like me, he might just want to know why you’re with me all the time.”

“Please, he wouldn’t be asking if he wasn’t interested,” Spider shakes his head, dots of water spraying from his hair, “So, do you want me to give him your number?”

“No!” You’re quick to respond, probably a bit too quick, “I mean, I don’t know, I barely know Malcolm.”

“What else is there to know? He likes butt stuff, he… okay yeah that’s pretty much all I know about him too, but he seems like an alright guy,” Spencer continues, “Why not give it a go? What’s stopping you?”

“I-“

Despite the cold, you can feel your cheeks heating up. Like you’re under pressure. And you’re not sure if your heart is racing in the cold or just because it’s trying to help your brain think of any response.

“Is there another guy?”

“No.”

“Are you batting for the other side?”

“Spec.”

“Valid question, no judgement here,” He raises his hands, “What then? You’ve not done butt stuff? Because seriously, there’s a first time for everything and I’m sure Malcolm’s into other stuff too or-“

“Spencer.”

He stops then.

“I haven’t…” You shake your head, “I don’t have any experience like that.”

He frowns, “What are you talking about?”

“Exactly what I said. I don’t have any experience. No relationships, no dates, I’ve never slept with a guy, I’ve not even fucking kissed a guy.”

“Wha-“ Spencer half-laughs, “Are you serious?”

“And this is why I didn’t tell you,” You roll your eyes, kicking your feet to swim away from him.

“No, wait, (Y/n)!”

You push yourself out of the water and back onto the pier, hurrying over to grab your things together. Your whole body is shivering now, the material of Spencer’s top clinging to you all over and itching at your cold skin.

“(Y/n) stop come on!” Spencer clambers out of the water behind you.

“Can we just go home, please? I shouldn’t have said anything and we should be getting back anyway and-“

“(Y/n), please,” His hand reaches out and grabs your forearm, “Just stop for a second.”

Spencer turns you around to face him, sighing as you finally seem to accept a bit of defeat.

“I didn’t mean to laugh,” He says softly, sincerely, so much so that you believe him, “I just… Im surprised, that’s all.”

“Yeah, well,” You shrug, looking down at the wet patches on the floor to avoid his eyes, “That’s why I don’t talk about it. It’s weird. I’m seventeen and I’ve never done anything romantic with a guy, haven’t had any guy be interested, not even slightly. I’ve never,” You laugh nervously over your words, “I’ve never even had to reject a guy because they’ve not even been interested in me in the first place. So yeah, I guess you have every right to be surprised.”

“No, not like that,” Spencer shakes his head, ducking just slightly to try and meet your eyes, “I just mean… I don’t know what I mean.”

You look up to him, drawing your arms around yourself as if aiming to avoid the embarrassment as much as possible. Maybe if you did it for long enough you’d just disappear in front of him, he’d forget it ever happened.

“You’re not…” He stops himself, “There’s nothing wrong with you, (Y/n)… before you start thinking that, I mean. There’s nothing wrong with you not doing anything like that, you know.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t always feel that way.”

“Look at you, (Y/n). Any guy would be lucky.”

You roll your eyes, “Being nice doesn’t suit you, Spec.”

He outwardly laughs, “And she’s back.”

You smile at him faintly and a small fraction of the worry in him seems to ease. He just needed to see that at least a bit of you was back. He hated the idea of you hurting, and hated even more the idea of him being the one to hurt you. He’d meant what he said. Any guy would be lucky. And the thought of you not knowing that seemed to just repeat in his head. He’d known you since the two of you knew anything, and he’d grown up with you since then. Even when he was a cunt, when he was the most hated person in school, you were always there - waiting to go home with him, eventually waiting at his car for him to drive you home. He woke up in the mornings and looked for your bedroom curtains to be open just so he could see you. He’d wave or flip you off or try to mouth something you couldn’t understand. He even found himself checking late at night sometimes that your light had gone off so that he knew you weren’t staying up late worrying yourself over something. How would any guy not want a girl like you? Spencer hadn’t given it much thought until now. He’d just assumed other people saw what he saw - he’d never considered that they hadn’t been seeing you at all.

“Can we go home?”

Spencer nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

You both change, damply, back into your clothes, and walk back to his car. Spencer takes back his t-shirt and rings it out, throwing it into the trunk with his gym bag. You sit into the passenger seat and put your jacket beneath you to not make his seats wet. He climbs into the driver’s seat and starts going without a word. You don’t play any music this time, your mind already felt loud enough.

Within the hour, he’s parked back in front of his house and you unclip your seatbelt.

“Um,” You clear your throat, “You can give Malcolm my number… if he wants it I mean.”

Spencer looks at you and raises his brows, “Yeah, yeah, okay, if you want me to.”

“I just… I’ve never… I wouldn’t really know what…”

“Then I’ll help you,” He shrugs, “What are friends for, right? I can help you get ready for a date with him, at least.”

“Thanks Spec,” You nod, “Good night.”

“Night, (Y/n),” He says softly, watching as you get out of the car and walk the few steps towards your own house.

He sits there for a moment longer, letting you disappear before he makes any other movements. And, when he walks into his house, he smiles at the sight of the light on behind the curtains in your room, smiles even wider when he turns up his speakers to play a song you’d sent him last week. His phone pings with a text from you only moments later.

———

Malcolm asks you on a date for that Friday. You’d been speaking to him all week, like you’d actually been able to keep the conversation going for that entire week. He was funny, he was charming, he asked you questions about yourself, he was sweet. Spider had been asking you about how it was going every day, he tried to get more information out of you - what had Malcolm said? what had you responded? were you any good at flirting? had he been weird yet?

“Okay, so, it’s Friday, what’s the date plan?”

“I don’t know, Malcolm said he’d plan it,” You shrug, scrolling down your playlist to find a song.

“What?” Spencer exclaims, “You don’t know?”

“Yeah, is that weird? He just said he’d plan it.”

“No, no, it’s not weird,” He assures you, “I’m just surprised you’re so chill about not knowing what’s going on, normally you’d be stressed about things.”

“Well I’ve never been on a date before so there is no normally.”

Spencer rolls his eyes, “You know what I mean Spec, you just get worried about things quickly and I thought this would be the same. But I’m glad you’re not. So, what are you going to wear for your hot date?”

“Ew I’m not talking about that with you.”

“Oh come on,” He laughs, the corners of his eyes creasing the way they always seems to do around you, “We’ve shared a bath together (Y/n), there’s no boundaries anymore.”

“For the last time we were like two when that happened! Stop bringing it up!”

———

Spencer drives you home that night and wishes you luck at least five times before you get out of the car. He tells you to text him as soon as you’re home.

You shower, get changed at least four times, do your makeup and then wipe some of it off when you think it looks like too much. And you’re sat on your bed ready a full ten minutes before he said he’d pick you up. You hadn’t heard from Malcolm for an hour or so, but you didn’t think much of it. Maybe he was getting ready too. You notice he’d read your last message, though, and think that texting him wouldn’t cause much harm, right? What’s the policy on these things? Should you let him know that you’re ready or would that be too eager? Should you maybe double check the time, or just make sure that he definitely knows your address?

Ugh.

Maybe dating was stressful.

You spend a full ten minutes debating over whether it’s a good idea to text. Nothing wrong with a text. And then you spend another ten minutes wondering what exactly you should write, only then realising this now meant that Malcolm was late and you still hadn’t heard from him. Now should you be worried.

Okay, fuck it, just send the text.

Hey, are you on your way?

He reads it almost instantly. Can’t be on his way then.

Sorry, (Y/n), I can’t do tonight. It’s complicated, sorry again.

You feel a lump form in your throat, a twisting in your stomach, a sickness that only came from this sort of gut wrenching moment. He’d cancelled on you. Did it even count as cancelling if you had to ask him first? He didn’t even give an explanation. Was he just hoping you wouldn’t ask? Was he hoping he could just pretend like he’d never asked you out in the first place?

You feel tears bubble in your eyes and instantly hate the idea of you being sensitive about this. Was it dramatic to be upset? No, you were upset. Not just because he’d cancelled, not just because he’d been shitty about it, not just because you were actually looking forward to your first date. But because it confirmed every worry you’d implanted in yourself about this whole thing. It confirmed every time you’d been nervous and panicked and stressed that these good things would never happened to you. It reminded you of every time one of your friends got asked out and you got swiftly ignored. It reminded you of every party you’d been told about where it sounded like everyone had got with someone there. And yet you were sat at home while it had happened, telling yourself that you didn’t like parties anyway.

And so you let yourself cry, the kind of cry that shakes your shoulders and lets mascara run down your cheeks. The cry that releases the tension in your chest and untwists the knot in your stomach.

—

Spencer didn’t want to text you whilst you were in your date. He’d told you to have a good time, he’d told you to text him if you needed anything. He should leave you to it. But your bedroom light was still on. You always turned it off before you left, it was ritual. In fact, you’d even hurry back inside to make sure it was off.

He hadn’t heard a car outside, either. Had Malcolm not picked you up?

He felt the worry spiral inside of him. Maybe he should just text. It would be easy, right? Just a quick text to make sure the date was going okay.

How’s the hot date going?

He stands at his window as if hoping to see no signs of movement on the other side. Please, God, tell me he hasn’t cancelled, he thought.

Does it count as a hot date if he doesn’t show up?

He feels his stomach drop, a pit forming at the thought of anyone thinking it would be a good idea to cancel on you. What was wrong with this boy?

Without a second thought, he’s running out of his room and practically tripping over his own feet to get down to the front door as soon as he can. He opens it at the same moment that you open yours, both of you stood across the driveway from each other. You’re still dressed in your outfit for the date, a blue sundress with tiny yellow flowers. Your makeup has been stripped off and it seems a million tears have ran down your cheeks and yet you still try to force yourself to smile at him when you see him.

“(Y/n),” Spencer practically sighs over the word, like he can’t think of anything right to say in the moment.

He crosses over the few metres between you and wraps his arms around you, holding you against his chest.

“He’s a fucking cunt, okay?” He mumbles into you, one hand holding your head and smoothing over your hair, “He’s a fucking asshole, this isn’t you, okay?”

You step away from him and wipe under your eyes, “I’m being stupid, I know. It was only a first date, I don’t know why I thought-“

“No, no, you’re not doing that,” Spider shakes his head, “This isn’t your fault. And you’re allowed to be upset. He’s a cunt. Do you understand me?”

You laugh a little, “Thanks, Spec.”

“I-“ He scans you as if he wants to check you’re okay, looking for signs that he’d made anything better, “Come on, come round and watch a film at mine. We can order food. I don’t want you to be on your own.”

“No, come on Spider, you don’t have to do that-“

“I don’t have to do it,” He interrupts, resting a hand on your back, “Come on.”

His hand remains there as the two of you walk over, barefoot on the concrete between the two houses. His Mum is downstairs when you walk in, watching something on the TV in the lounge.

“Spencer?” She looks over the back of the couch when he walks in, “What are you- Oh! (Y/n)! What are you doing here?”

“We’re just going to watch a film, Mum,” Spencer speaks through a clenched jaw.

“Oh I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages!” She hops up from the sofa and hurries over, “You look pretty! I love this dress!”

“Oh, yeah, thank you,” You smile politely, glancing over to Spencer as if you’re not sure what to say.

“I’ll order us some pizza,” Spencer nods, his thumb brushing over the skin of your back before he lets his hand drop.

“Yeah, okay, yeah, I’ll have a-“

“I know.”

He smiles as he walks away, leaving you in the company of his mother. You’d known her all your life but that wasn’t to say you were her biggest fan. She’d always treated you like the daughter she never had. In fact, sometimes it seemed like she cared more about you than she did her own son. She repeatedly told your own Mum that she wished she’d had a daughter. You knew her and Spencer didn’t have the best relationship but he never spoke about it much. Whenever you’d seen him with her, he was always polite but you knew he’d argue with her at home. Sometimes you could hear them yelling from across the way and then you’d hear him return to his room and slam the door.

“I didn’t know you two were… hanging out,” She says suggestively, “Is there something me and your Mum should know?”

“Oh, no,” You half-laugh, shaking your head, “I just… No, I mean we’ve always been friends.”

“Oh of course you have, but I think you were half this height when you last came round to the house like this,” She chuckles, “Just be careful with him, you know what boys can be like.”

You’re thankful when Spencer rounds the corner back into the hallway.

“Pizza’s on the way,” He says, “Want to go upstairs?”

“Yeah,” You let out a sigh of relief through the word, “It was nice to see you Cait, I’m sure Mum will have you over soon.”

You follow Spencer’s steps up the stairs and into his room, where you’d once played games of Prince and Princess, or ones where you pretended to be soldiers or spies or superheroes. Where you’d once brought round your toys and swapped them with his. You can see your own window from the view through his just before he closes the curtains and it somehow eases a bit of the anxiety in your chest. He’d always been here.

———

The pizza arrives twenty minutes after and Spencer goes down to get it, leaving you sat on the edge of his bed in your dress. You felt overdressed and uncomfortable and it felt too tight on your skin when you thought about it too much.

“And dinner is served!” He smiles as he comes back into the room, “What’s wrong?”

“Um,” You look up and return his smile, “Any chance I could… I mean, do you have a… Can I borrow a top to wear?”

He laughs, “Yeah get pizza sauce down one of my tops instead of your dress,” He jokes, “Take whichever one, I won’t look.”

You flick through a few in his closet and then reach for one of the white ones, a graphic flower print on the back. A man of his word, Spencer faces the wall as you change, the dress pooling on the floor by your feet as you fit his t-shirt over your matching underwear set.

“Okay, done.”

He turns back around.

There was something about it. You in his clothes. Spencer felt like the blood had just rushed out of his head. Like his heart had forgotten to take a beat.

“Alright, I’ll find us a film to watch.”

He puts on Superbad and you both chat the whole way through it. He quotes it every so often because you were certain he’d seen this film more times than he could count. You both eat your pizza and he steals a slice of yours. He gets tomato sauce on his cheek and you laugh at him until he tells you to wipe it off. He tells you that he used to be scared of seeing a monster in his closet when he was a kid and he’d once tried to pull the doors off to stop them from being able to hide. You tell him you already knew that. You tell him that you wanted to be a vet when you were a kid and he reminds you that you once tried to do surgery on one of his teddy bears and ended up ripping the ear off. He still had that bear.

Eventually, the two of you are laying back on his bed watching the second film of the night. Your choice this time. 10 things I hate about you.

Somewhere in the progress of the night, Spencer found it impossible to take his eyes off of you. You were laying on the pillow next to him with your hand resting on your stomach with the other one down at the side beside him, your head angled towards him to see the screen. You laugh at something that one of them had said and he realises he hasn’t been paying attention to the entire thing. His hand falls down by his side and he feels it involuntarily inching just slightly closer to you. He felt like a kid again. His childhood crush in bed beside him and he felt like he had no idea of what move to make next.

And then it’s there. His fingertips brush against one of your hands. You flinch just slightly but you don’t pull away. And he laces his fingers with yours quickly before he overthinks it enough to regret it. You don’t pull away. You don’t want to. The contact seems to shoot a bolt of electricity through you, glancing to him to see him looking right back at you. He lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. His lips curl up into a small smile and he watches as you shuffle closer to him, his hand slipping out of yours to instead wrap around your back as your head rests on his chest, hair splaying. His heart is pounding underneath your head but neither of you say a word, both turning your focus back to the screen. He could feel the blood coursing through him, trying to relax into your touch despite how nervous he felt.

Had he always felt like this? Had he always been waiting on you? He couldn’t think. You’d just always been there. He looked forward to the mornings when he’d see you again. He looked forward to the end of the day when he’d go back to you. He looked to make you laugh, to make you smile, to make you feel better, to keep you safe. And you’d always felt like you were something that nobody else could ruin. You were in his life from the moment he could remember and he couldn’t imagine being at a point in his life where you weren’t there.

When he looks back down to you, your breathing has steadied and your eyes have fluttered closed against him, fast asleep against the rise and fall of his chest.

He brings a hand up and brushes your hair away from your face, fingers delicate to not disturb you.

Oh god, was he in love?

———

You wake up early the following morning, Spencer asleep beneath you, your head still on his chest. The sunlight is spilling through from the slight gap between his curtains.

“Wh-“ You mumble to nobody but yourself, propping yourself up onto your elbow as if you’re trying to assess the situation.

Spencer groans and his arm tightens around you as if he instinctively wants to check that you’re still there.

“What time is it?” Spencer mumbles through tired lips, his eyes still shut.

“I-“ You clear your throat, “I don’t know. I should probably get back.”

You scramble to get off of the bed, looking around the room for your shoes and your dress as if this was a one night stand you wanted to escape.

“Woah, woah, woah,” He groans as he’s forcing himself to wake up, “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have… and we shouldn’t… I don’t expect…”

“What are you talking about?” He half laughs, propping himself up on his elbows, blinking away from the sleep from his eyes to let you come into focus.

“I just… I don’t want you to think that I thought anything of last night,” You breathe out, “I totally get it, I was upset and you were being a good friend and-“

“(Y/n),” Spencer gets up from the bed and steps forward so that he’s standing directly in front of you, “I don’t think that.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, looking up at him like he wasn’t the boy you’d always known.

“What I do think…” He takes a breath this time as if he’s trying to suppress his own nerves, “Is that we had our first date last night.”

“First date?” You half laugh, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks and that same bolt of electricity as his hand reaches out to lock with yours.

“Well, there was food, and a movie… two movies actually,” He points out, lifting up his other hand to brush your hair away from your face, “You even stayed the night. That sounds like almost a full date to me.”

“Almost?” You half-whisper, like you’re worried something’s going to ruin the moment, “What’s missing?”

“This.”

He shifts his hand to cup your cheek, his thumb shaping around your jaw to bring your lips to his, soft and yet somehow so certain of themselves. This was the first time anyone’s lips had been on yours, the first time you knew what it felt like to be kissed. And your heart seemed to soar at the idea of Spencer being the one to show you.

When he pulls away, his forehead rests against yours like he is desperate to hold onto some contact, like he can’t imagine being apart from you.

“I-“ You swallow the lump in your throat, “You…”

Spencer’s lips curl into a soft smile, “I’d say that’s a pretty good first date.”

———————

(Any of y’all want part 2????)

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