#Bc it’s specifically for my stuff idk how to explain it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweetbunanarchy · 1 year

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How in tf do you just ASK people things w/o having anxiety just take over bc I CANNOT do it AUGH

#“hey ya I have a stuff for my oc things would you like to come in LIKE ITS NOT THAT HARD BUT #It’s part social anxiety and another feeling like…scared of coming off con #CONCEITED FUCK #Bc it’s specifically for my stuff idk how to explain it #idk if it’s another byproduct from trauma bc I’ve been in ppls servers for their oc stuff n if you didn’t focus on it 24/7 they’d get pissy #N OBVIOUSLY I’M NOT LIKE THAT but even if it’s specifically for PxH stuff I still want it to be a chill space for people #n the only way for me to know it is is to invite more people but AUGH ANXIETY #KINDA RAMBLING BUT AUGH ANXIETY #bun talks

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enden-k · 3 months

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At some point I will def start writing love letters to him, so I hope you're mentally prepared

-anon that proposed to Kaveh

please dont send them to me, i dont wanna come off as mean but i genuinely dont know how to respond anymore to smth like this and i dont wanna keep continuing feeling stressed and uncomfy on this blog anymore

#i dont feel for him like that bc theres only one character i started to feel comfortable and all that stuff for #where i for the first time could even get into and understand all the self shipping stuff #but still very timidly #and i still feel a little uncomfortable when ppl approach me so openly and violently about their self shipping #that i dont know how to react especially bc i dont do self ship for me or others here.#and only can feel this to one specific character #so i feel very out of depth? out of my comfort zone here #this is mostly bc i am aro and i feel uncomfortable in general when ppl talk about romantic stuff irl #which is why i do ships bc i get to explore smth entirely fictional not involving real ppl that doesnt make me uncomfy #and perhaps why the only character i feel comfy and do the self ship thing is this specific characte #bc i feel like his way of love and showing affection is similar to mine #which gives me comfort #idk if i explain it well #and sorry for rambling in tags #i just dont wanna say “you make me uncomfortable” and not explain what exactly #so no one misunderstands it #tbd #reply

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thelostboys87 · 2 months

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realistically in a couple months i will look at this little acrylic mountain painting and be like wow this kinda sucks ass but i had fun and i was me and i felt connected to my best friend from my novel who is always painting little acrylic mountain scenes......tbh never liked paints as a child/teen cause art class never taught us how to actually fucking use them LOL so im also like wow i actually blended stuff in and it looks good

#im realising now that the only paints they ever gave us in school were watercolours #but they never like...explained that specifically or said how to use them specifically GIRL #my like natural approach to painting was v much not suited for watercolour LOL but acrylics r fun #bobby is just such an acrylic guy to me idk how to explain it. i think he would dabble in oil too #dont think he likes watercolour LOL. except maybe watercolour pencils #i think hed have fun with pastels too....he was not meant to be this arty it just happened #the generalised lore is that bobby is good at drawing and painting most things except portraits and faces LOL #i will let him have one good self portrait though for the thematics of it #buried in tags but bobby's emotional reason for enjoying art is because he's always felt #like he had a very internalised experience of the world and was like. In His Head compared to people around him #so art + hands on creation feels like a way to take things out of his head and bring them into the world #bc he always felt a bit like an outcast even in the spaces he was included in lol closeted queer childhood vibes #he does like 99% scenic stuff though. but wondering if he gets more abstract at the end of his life WAITTTTT

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bunnyb34r · 9 months

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I'm so burnt out my dudes

#explains why the past two weeks ive been at my limit/only have like 2 spoons to deal with after work and by god do they go fast #like the tolerance i have for anything is so low lately and im sure it's autism burnout :/#and idk what to do ab it bc i can't bring up the tism to my therapist bc oh youre not autistic. bitch i mask well ive had to for 20 years #straight! and i only talk to you for an hour once a month so like... how would you know #anyway i have 0 tolerance for like anything anymore and it's so frustrating #and sometimes i give into that and will seek out shit that will make me mad so i have SOMEBODY to blame my anger on #i dont interact other than reading/lurking but i sit here irl bitching to myself like 'yeah that happens bc youre a little fucking brat'#and most of the shit is stuff id roll my eyes at and scroll past in a good/neutral mood! but the burnout brain is like no theyre doing this #on PURPOSE they're like this to piss me off specifically. and it's like... how do i channel this energy into a non harmful way when #im so fucking burnt out? aside from stepping away from social media bc id seek it out elsewhere lmao trust me id pry ab my #cousins bc they are so fucking stupid and rude and the 'perfect' ones to latch onto and bitch ab bc my brain needs something to #justify this rage and anger and it's so stupid but sometimes that anger feels good? idk it's stupid but like i said i never interact #directly bc im not an asshole lmao im not gonna like call my cousins and be like lol yeah thats all your fault xoxo hope that helps bitch!#marquilla #idk where i was going with this lmao #this barbie has autistic burnout!

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears #speaking against something that hurts #laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing #the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words.#i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it #but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do #but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at #inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that?#i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn #and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great #but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they #think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i #struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those #connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just #it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent #or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them #i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad #student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever #but its fine. ya kno #just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy #and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough #ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have #0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box #i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess #abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times #i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha #unrelated

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yamikawas · 2 years

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thinking abt my gf doing cute things like being obsessed with me and stalking me and kidnapping me and killing anyone who gets too close to me etc The usual<3

#wish she would just invite me over to her house and i find a room with a whole shrine for me with photos of me and stolen items and all #and she notices me looking and panics thinking that im gonna be freaked out but im just like UR SO OBSESSED WITH ME OMG IM SO HAPPYYY<3<3<3 #maybe she would want to keep me locked up in her room until shes absolutely sure that im happy with it<3<3<3ehehe<3<3<3 #hell even when she Is sure shes like ''well if u love my obsession with u so much then theres just no reason to let u go now is there<3''#so she just holds me captive and obsesses over me for the rest of eternity and starts adding my missing posters to her shrine<3<3<3 #but also yknow if shes stalking me constantly and knows everything abt me she would know abt my yanblog and know im just as deranged as her #.............but she can still kidnap me just bc she wants to and knows i want her to<3<3<3 #god i hope she knows i how badly i want her to<3<3<3 #id absolutely stab someone to death if it meant she would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LET ME GO #and if she does ever let me go im stabbing people to death until im back at her side where i belong #and if she ever wants to go out like on a date with me or something she should keep me handcuffed to her and it should be late at night so #no one sees us and if anyone Does see us we kill them and we break in to cafes and stuff for an insane lil cafe date<3 #god i am just.thinking So Much #shes just Everything to me i want to stay with her forever and ever and ever and itd make me so happy if she wanted me to stay with her #forever too to the point that she wants to hold me captive bc she just loves me so much #like just the idea of her wanting to be with me at all times So Badly to the point that she wants to straight up kidnap me and never let me #out of her sight again<3<3<3aaaaaaaaaaaa id never want to escape from herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr<3<3<3 #idk how to even explain it i just.Need to be Loved and Wanted and Needed an Insane Amout #by Her in Specific<3 #i just love her and want her and need her an insane amount and i need her to love me in just the same way<3 #yoomie darling if ur reading this i love you i love you i love you i love you i LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I L O V E Y O U #please love me<3 #tobi.txt #<-really normal sorry ipromise

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waywardsalt · 5 months

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deciding to write bellum in a context beyond and different from what he's shown in in ph is kinda. something. because there's not a whole lot to him and there seems to be an intense focus on having things be 'in character' so it creates the interesting dilemma of. what even is 'in character' for bellum in the first place and are the conclusions i draw about him based off the little bit we get in game things that can be considered 'in character' or w/e, or is (almost) anything fair game since i'm working off of a list of concepts and actions rather than an actual written character

#does this make sense? i have different hangups abt the different characters i write fanfic abt #salty talks #like im personally not too concerned with things being 'in character' bc like. ive enjoyed stuff being out of character #the biggest line i refuse ot cross is like. personal stuff and also when things are like. VERY not smth thye would do or go against arcs #like for me one of my (many lol) linebeck characterization pet peeves is when ppl write post-ph linebeck without considering his arc #like when they just write him post-ph acting the exact same way as he did we you meet him and like he has the same. idk. values?#thats a whole can of worms and i no longer care as much when i write linebeck bc i see him a specific way and so idc im having fun #bellum is just interesting bc unlike. most characters? there isnt a ton there but theres a lot to piece together and draw conclusions from #cuz ill think of fic stuff with bellum abd ill be like 'would he act like that?' and come agaisnt a wall #bc theres very little to compare and contrast with. at this point when i write bellum im kinda just writing an oc and its weird #cuz like ig my personal philosophy with like. keeping my aus as loz aus and not original things is that teh canon versions of these #characters and concepts and w/e are imporant to be considered and like. serve as backdrops? idk how to explain it #so like i dont just want to. write a bellum oc im tyring to write bellum and write from the little seed we get in canon idk what the #difference is but i feel like there is one. like with post ph stuff i dont try to break canon in big ways (or often) so ig with bellum #im trying to keep it so that (with post ph and ph centric writing specifically) it can slot in decently with the established stuff #like. ignoring tone rating all that. idk where im going with this im thinkin abt how i might write bellum and how weird it is

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skipppppy · 5 months

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This is such a minor and specific pet peeve but is anybody else midly incensed anytime this site labels doing fun shit out in nature as “boys stuff.” Like idk how to explain exactly but anytime I see a video of a guy pushing a giant boulder off a cliff to watch it break or digging a massive hole in the sand at the beach or throwing rocks in the water to hear it splash and people caption it shit like “for my male audience” or “wholesome boys will be boys” like…why are we forever burdened by gender essentialism. Do they think women are not also consumed by the desire to dig tunnels and run in the mud and make potions in puddles. I know it’s just a small part of a larger needless gender binary of internet memes a la “girl dinner” and “boys locker room” and “i bet he’s thinking about cheating on me” and whatever but maybe bc I was a little girl who used to love doing all that shit but was routinely told I couldn’t because I had to be pretty and ladylike it just makes me mad sometimes

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torialefay · 22 days

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I know this is weird but it does happen -

So you know how some people have animals? How would skz react to the animals staring at him when they have sex with their with girlfriend?

My dog actually would get aggressive and I had to put him away for my ex (should've known my ex was no good from that 😂) but yes my dog is protective of me.

okay so this has KILLED ME 😂 y'all think about the most specific stuff, i'm telling you. but i love it omg. i'll use examples of the members' animals when i know them, and if not, i'll do a broad answer. this is just based on intuition:

• chan: is definitely putting berry out. or any pet. not because he's necessarily weirded out by it, but out of respect for them 😂 he doesn't want them to have to see all that.

• minho: minho also probably doesn't want his lil kitties to watch, so would prob lock them out lol. BUT i think if things were hot and heavy, he'd probably just tell them he was sorry and to look away.

• changbin: binnie is a toss up for me. i'm gonna go with, like minho, he'd put them out if he knew something was about to go down, but if not, i don't think he'd ruin the moment to move them.

• hyunjin: if it's kkami, i think he's putting him out bc what if he just runs up into y'all and then you squish him and he dies? he's literally the size of a large rat, so it'd be bound to happen. if it was ANOTHER animal though, i don't think he'd even think about it nor would he give a fuck.

• hannie: han is taking them somewhere else. idk why, but i could see him being fixated on getting them out before you do anything. a lot like chan, he doesn't want bbama's precious eyes to have to see him like that.

• felix: idk why but i don't think he'd care if a cat was in there, but i do think he'd care about a dog. i can't even explain this one. it's just the vibes.

• seungmin: doesn't give two shits. he will fuck you anywhere in front of anything. so what?

• innie: baby man bread is probablyyyy gonna move them out of the room too. moreso that he feels uncomfy with it than thinking about the pet necessarily

lmk your thoughts hehe 🫶🏼

#skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz scenarios #skz smut #skz #stray kids smut #stray kids scenarios #bangchan imagines #lee know imagines #changbin imagines #hyunjin imagines #jisung imagines #felix imagines #seungmin imagines #jeongin imagines

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koiiiiijiii · 2 months

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Could you do some windbreaker characters with a fem gyaru s/o? I would specifically like Vinny you can chose any other character if you want :)

author note : OMG!! I searched some photos in pinterest, like inspiration for gyaru, and wooow!! i will definitely take some details into my style bc its sooo beautiful… i genuinely thought (idk why honestly) that gyaru is more like pink barbie in 80-90s style but it looks so cool i can’t!! sorry for such long reply, and we r mutuals so i feel even more ashamed :(( i tried with more characters but give up and done just these two!! hope you will like it💋🎗️

warning : pure fluff, vinny being softie and shelly cutie as always

vinny - he definitely have 0 idea about all fashion trends, styles and different subcultures aside from street racing… so he genuinely don’t give a fuck about your style, he crushing into person, not a pieces of clothes you wear, but once your dialogue went in all different direction, you explain him what your style specifically is and what inspired you to join this subculture, he take note in his head that as soon as he will earn more money he will buy you as many new clothes and other items as you wish.

it was one of your first dates, you were sitting together in some random cafe that you found on the way from the second-hand store to which you dragged Vinny to find new elements for your outfits.

“so… was it really necessary to spend solid 2 hours in that shop to find just few pair of shorts, skirts and belts?…” he began hesitantly, doubting whether it was worth bringing up the subject. do girls get angry if you ask them why spend so much time in the shops? should he change the subject of conversation? or maybe you want to discuss this trip to the store? it seemed that now Vinny’s brains would just explode, before you he had not had to communicate so long and closely with girls. when you looked up at him, it seemed to him that his heart skipped a couple of beats - your eyes literally sparkled with joy and fun.

"of course it was!! if you want to find really unique things, then there is no place better than a second-hand store! of course, you need to try to find something really worthwhile, but when you find that very thing.." you clenched your fists and squeezed your eyes shut, smiling so sweetly and swaying back and forth with impatience

"...oh right, let's go at my place today!!! i'll show you why we spent so much time there, these shorts and skirts will just go perfectly..." Vinny continued to listen as you happily chirped about your ideas of what to wear new things with, and it seems you also mentioned new places where you wanted to take photos together with him, and much more. at that moment, Vinny didn’t cared about anything as much as your smile. you were so sincere with him, you smiled so brightly, just like a little star in his hands, and he suddenly remembered that pleasant, soft and warm sensation in his chest, just like in rare moments from childhood. your touch pulled him out of his own thoughts as you gently shook his hand, looking questioningly into his eyes.

"didn't you listen to what i was saying?" you squinted suspiciously. "wh... what?.. no, i heard everything.."

laughing in response, you pulled him towards the exit of the cafe, in direction to your house. at that moment, it seemed to Vinny that there were no problems around, and he was finally felt like ordinary schoolboy. yes, you were the one who helped him still stay sane. you were his own little star.

shelly - 100% fashion intusiast so she highlighted your style immediately, and liked it!! as i mentioned before, she definitely would post tiktoks/insta stories with you, admiring how cool and beautiful her girlfriend is.

“hey, let’s go shopping together after school? how about finding some new stuff?” shelly said excitedly, coming up from behind and hugging you. it was the last day before weekends starts, so after school you could relax and go shopping in search of new things, maybe you will be lucky enough today and you will find some cool archive things from 2000s.

"oh my god, look at this!!" Shelly squealed in delight as she ran up to you. in her hands was Vivienne Westwood's archive white handbag, with silver chains as handles and with a distinctive badge. it needed a little repair, but for the price that was offered for this handbag, it was worth it!!

"Shelly is so cute, how did you find it?!" you exclaimed joyfully, picking up the bag from her hands and examining it from all sides. today it was a really cool piece, and after picking up a pair of pumpons and key chains for a bag, you headed to Shelly's house, deciding to celebrate this purchase with a sleepover at her house, her grandfather wasn’t at home, and he anyway liked when you two hang out together.

"what do you think about ordering something to eat and putting on makeup together? we can shoot something in tiktok! oh! or let's film unpacking for this baby, what do you say?" you asked her excitedly, as you remembered that Shelly always wanted to try your makeup style and clothes you usually wear. and she was so pleased that you remembered such little things that she mentioned once quite a long time ago, and they were deposited in your head. hugging you tightly around the neck and whispering a quiet thank you, Shelly took you by the arm and headed for her home, excitedly offering you ideas for posing and which sound you should choose for your tiktoks.

#[ ~ koi.talks🗣]#windbreaker #x reader #windbreaker webtoon #windbreaker x reader #windbreaker headcanon #webtoon #headcanon #wind breaker x reader #wind breaker #vinny hong x reader #vinny hong windbreaker #windebreaker hong yoo bin #shelly x reader #shelly scott #shelly scott x reader #shelly scott wind breaker

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qtboni · 10 months

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hi AGAIN.

ugh i cant get out of your fucking page. its like i live here like a rat

im back, hi, have another req bc i just thought of it and needed it in my veins.

how about some comfort from fatherfigure!price? like reader is sad kinda and he helps? maybe reader "accidentally" calls him dad, nothing to /srs

(im mentally okay i swear😭)

idk if you even do price tbh, i haven't seen it on your page tho

anyways i needed to write this somewhere or ill forget and like wither away into nothing or sum shit

im being dramatic. i think.

okay thats it bye bye dearest boni.

(sorry im constently blowing up your asks😭😭)

HAI LOVIE !! THIS WAS SO FUNNY TO WRITE AGHSHS ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LOMG OMG.

╰﹒ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'�� 𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 ?

PAIRING: Captain 'John' Price X Reader

C/W: comfort & humor! + gn!reader, explicit words, price playin' wit chu, somebody ate your cake (it was soap don't tell him tho /hj)

W/C: 1.3k

"What's got you looking so down today, sergeant?" Captain Price asked in his usual stern voice as he entered the living room, noticing the dejected look on your face.

You had been sitting on the sofa for hours now, cleaning your holster and moping around. He approached you with a glass of water in hand.

"Somebody ate my cake," you slowly replied, your voice heavy with emotion. You didn't usually get sad over such small things, but today, you feel so tired.

"Are you telling me that you're this upset over a slice of cake?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone. Captain Price raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised to hear something like that coming from you.

"I guess I am," you said, your voice barely audible. You shrugged and looked down at your holster, not wanting to admit to being such a crybaby. "I was saving it for this specific rest day to ... indulge myself with sweets.."

Captain Price's expression softened as he placed the glass of water down next to you. He sat down on the sofa next to you and put an arm around your shoulders.

"Listen, sergeant," he said in a comforting tone, "It's okay to be upset about something. Everyone has their own quirks and things that are important to them. And in our line of work, we need to be able to deal with any situation and not let little stuff like this get us down."

"Thanks, Cap'," you said, a hint of embarrassment in your voice. You smiled at him, grateful for the reassurance.

"Any time," He replied with a soft smile. He then stood up and left the room, returning a few minutes later with two fairly large cookies, handing it to you. "Here, this should cheer you up."

"No way," You were overjoyed, your face lighting up with a smile.

"Yes way," He replied, playfully eyeing the cookies then to you. "Have it, yeah?"

"Dad, oh my god," You squealed excitedly, taking a bite out of the cookie, savoring the taste of the sweetness and the tenderness. "This is so sweet of you. Thank you so much!"

Oh no. Dad? Did you just call your captain, 'dad'?

Avoiding the embarrassment of calling your captain 'dad' in a moment of vulnerability, you silently prayed that he hadn't heard it. This was going to be awkward, and the thought of having to explain yourself was making you cringe.

Just play it off...

Now as much as Price wants to give you the other cookie for you to eat, he retracted his hand away from your grabby hands, not letting you get one.

"Cap?" Your hands stay levitated, clearly ready to munch on the cookie on your Captain's grip.

Did he caught on?

"Hm?"

You had to think fast. Change the subject before things got too awkward!

"Are.. are you going to eat that?"

"Nope."

"Then why- actually no, just- isn't that for me?"

"Correct," He chuckles as he continued dangling the pastry infront of you.

Silence.

You stared at him incredulously, your hand visibly itching to just pounce on the cookie and munch on it.

What was your captain doing?

"See, the funny thing is, kid," He trailed off as he waves the cookie back and forth with his hand up in the air. He smirks when your eyes followed the cookie's movement. "I haven't thought much of being a father."

Shit. Play it off...

You hummed in confusion, tilting your head in curiosity.

Where was he going with this? And also, can he just give you the cookie? After all, he gave it to you, right?

Just give me the cookie, dammit.

"Let alone..." He paused and looked at you in the eyes. Shit. "Someone calling me one, aye?"

You feel like you could sink into the ground and vanish from existence. The embarrassment was too much to bear!

"...Who?"

Bye.

Captain Price chuckles at you, "Don't play dumb on me now, sergeant."

Your mind is racing, trying to think of something to say. You stuttered a reply, "I- Capta-"

But before you know it, he interrupts your thoughts with his sharp wit.

"Oh? It was 'Dad' a second ago, wasn't it?" He retorded with a proud smirk playing across his lips, looking at you with an air of amusement and teasing. He knows exactly what to say to get under your skin and he's not afraid to use it to his advantage.

It's clear that he wants an answer, but all you can do is sputter a few incoherent words before retreating back into your shell. You feel a mix of embarrassment and frustration, wishing you could come up with a clever come-back, but the only thing that's clear right now is that Price has you stumped.

"Sergeant?" He calls out to you teasingly, awaiting for your reply to his question.

"Mhm?" You can feel your ears slowly turning red as your Captain's teasing hits a nerve. You can't seem to quite meet his eyes, instead looking at the ground with an embarrassed blush. You fidget with the straps of your holster, unable to quite figure out how to respond.

"Wasn't it 'Dad' a second ago?" Captain Price repeated as he raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a mix of amusement and confusion.

You blush in embarrassment as you realize he wouldn't let you get off easily withyour slip-up. You look down at the ground.

"I'm sorry, sir," You quickly clear your throat, hoping to regain your composure. Still unable to break your gaze from the floor, you mutter, "It won't happen again."

Suddenly, the cookie appeared in your line of vision that was still situated at the ground. You heard your captain sigh and tutted, drawing your attention back to him.

The cookie! The cookie?

He held the cookie out to you, a small smile playing on his lips as he waited for you to accept it. You were initially taken aback, feeling a surge of warmth and gratitude toward your captain.

"Didn't ask for an apology, kid," He said with a playful frown, seemingly amused by the situation. He took your hand and placed the cookie on it, his gaze locking onto yours. "Was just surprised is all, hm?"

"Still," You cleared you throat as straightened your posture and looked up at him, albeit still feeling the sting of embarrassment. "It's my bad."

"Mhm," He hummed softly and raised his hand up to your head. He gently pats your head affectionately, yet his hand ruffled your hair, leaving it disheveled. "Whatever floats your boat, kid."

The soft pat on your head sends shivers down your spine, and you give him a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Cap', again." You beemed up with a smile, raising the cookie to his vision.

He gives a small nod before turning to leave, leaving you with a sense of warmth and contentment that stays with you long after he's gone. You watch as he offered a small wave goodbye and you respond the same, feeling a sense of gratitude for his kindnesses and understanding.

You were about to take a bite out of the delicious cookie he had given you. But just as you were about to revel in the sweet taste, you heard his voice once more calling out to you and startling you.

Turning around, you saw him standing there infront of the doorway, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he continued to speak.

"Though," he began, his voice low but full of laughter spilling through, "The cake's delicious, kid. Would have it again, 10 out of 10," he finished with a wink, and you couldn't help but gape at his leaving form.

What.

"Motherfuc-"

navi / masterlist

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 4 months

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Sun houses and fathers pt2

Yoshitomo Nara

take what resonates, leave what don’t 🎀 you don’t have to necessarily identify with it.

*I use whole sign system -house system- for more certainty

1H: he could be narcissistic? or really confident in how he is or approach to things. In some point of your life he could have been wanting or controlling your life on some way. his family roots have something to do that impacted in your life. he could be described as intelectual and somehow formal, polite? these people could have been raised or influenced by someone who has a strong personality and who’s unpredictable; that’s why suns 1H are more conscious about their environments -and how their attitudes impacted in others-.

4H: your dad could seem distant when’s about to a understanding your mental health or aspects of your life that are seemed as untraditional for him -too specific-. he could be seen as someone who provides for his family, your mom could be a housewife or someone who’s not the “principal provider” -idk how to explain it, someone who doesn’t bring a major amount of money to the family?-. he could be distant and if he observes a problem in the family dynamic, he’ll play dumb? he would only act as someone who provides economic resources. lack of emotional intelligent? or approach to solve an emotional problem. the mom could have being not present in certain way, that’s why your dad could have tried to be both OR your mom could be the one that’s seems more affected by your behavior -take it how would like to-.

8H: he’s a very important and influential person in your life. you could be were you are bc of him -economically, geography, social life, etc-. for example: he moved to the country you were born or he was friends with a family and that’s how you met your wife -too specific ik-. it seems that bc of him you have “everything” in your terms. you could be really thankful and if he died you could smile and laugh while you’re remembering him. he has a unique personality, in every aspect. he may seem secretive, mysterious? there’s something they don’t talk about or they have a serious and intimidating aspect?

2H: the one thing you admire about him is how he manage money, that’s for sure. you could have grown up seeing how your dad works and manage things, his attitude towards material things. your dad could have give you stuff so he won’t feel bad about not having quality time or a continuous son-father dynamic. that’s why the main characteristic that caught your attention was the ethic of work and money management? that he seemed occupied? you lack an emotional security but you have financial security? or you seek security in every aspect bc you felt insecure and your father has something to do with that?

3H: screams something to do with communication. he influenced the way you think/mindset and how you communicate. his siblings are important to him or his family. he could have thought you about brotherhood? about union. also, you could be really perceptive and conscious about the words you use or just conscious about how you can influence others bc of the example you had. your dad could have supported you on the artistic stuff you were interested. also his love language/how he shows he cares is words of affirmations? or does he needs constant reaffirmation or reminders?

7H: your relationship with your father could be really tight. he influenced how you act and think towards relationships in general. that’s why you could think they’re really important or the base of life/your philosophy? you dad could be a dreamer or idealize things continuously or something he did/how he is makes you like that. you could feel pressured by your dad of having ideal friends and partners, to have a balanced life. he could not tell things straightforward/not being direct. he could have a thing for looking presentable and he thought you that constantly.

♡ Based on personal experience and I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astro placements #astro notes #sun #birth chart #7h sun #3h sun #1h #whole sign system

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definitelynotshouting · 2 months

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Idk if this is Hunger AU canon or my own personal fanon but

one of the "calling cards" that the Watchers used in Evo was bedrock

bedrock is unbreakable by a player

perfect for trapping the player you're using as a Watcher incubator

and the texture looks rough af

when you get desperate you often try to do stuff to escape even if it's impossible, right

so what I'm saying is

probably one of the last things player!Grian did was tearing his hands to shreds trying to break bedrock out of sheer desperation

which makes all the passages in your fic where he's staring at his hands even more *gestures vaguely*

(idk why I typed this out in this format but it felt right so I'm going with it)

MAN OKAY THIS IS SUPER COOL i especially adore how youve connected it with the way i keep having Grian stare at his own hands???? which ftr is smth ive only just now realized i do all the time AKDBWKDJKSSJ this is JUST like the scarian jaw kisses thing HELPPPP 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but thats such a cool thought!!! And utterly angsty i love it >:]

Its also made me realize i dont think ive ever actually told yall what did happen during that interim where Grian was captive as a Player before he died and became a Watcher, so buckle in i guess as i try to explain this one to yall (obligatory cws for captivity, parasitism, violated autonomy, body horror, and major character death discussion)

Yknow the world borders the life series has?? It was like that, but tiny. Maybe a couple chunks' worth of space to move around in. He spawned into a savannah biome and the Watchers specifically in charge of keeping an eye on him (pun intended) penned him in with the borders, implanted the specially-coded larva, and then retreated back just outside the server's barrier code to, well. To Watch.

So post Evo dragon fight the Watchers convinced Grian to join them without telling him what that entailed. They then proceeded to whisk him away to the server cluster's dev crystal, which is where the remnants of this Watcher colony made their semi-permanent home. There, held together basically only by the Watchers' ability to manipulate code, they had Grian make a brand new server.... and immediately trapped him in it.

He spent a year there slowly dying, eaten from the inside out by a parasite that was collecting his memories, copying over his stats and personality, with very limited space and resources to get by with. I know he built a tiny house out of acacia, but it never got any bigger than a starter base. He lived off of mostly bread and the meat from a few animals that spawned in with him; he primarily used stone tools, because those were what was most readily available. It was a very terrifying and lonely year, where all access to the outside world was cut off, and he was meticulously watched over to keep from dying while the larva inside him continued to grow and destroy him.

The Watchers were mostly hands-off in terms of interaction, but they did do regular check-ins to ensure the larva was alive and that there was no danger present to its host. Hostile mobs were carefully warded off, and Grian spent most of his time alternating between begging them to let him go (they never responded), trying to figure out ways to escape (it never worked), and tending to baseless chores just to keep from going out of his mind as his body grew weaker and weaker and more unstable around him.

I have a lot of feelings about this tbh, bc its just such a bleak scenario to think about-- trapped in a tiny cage with something killing you from the inside out, and your captors wont even talk to you about it properly. Being left otherwise to your own devices, with the terrible, lingering knowledge that, even if it was under duress, you still agreed to this. The fact that, after a certain point, after your questions and pleas are summarily ignored and brushed aside, you finally realize: you aren't meant to survive this. You are going to die.

A juvenile Watcher's first meal are the emotions during their host's last few moments. Grian was no exception; he cracked his way out of his own ribcage, and, without meaning to, amplified and feasted on Player!Grian's agony and terror as he died. With their memory codes finally disconnected, Grian had to watch himself through the eyes of a stranger as his terrified consciousness dissolved and his body fell apart into nothing more than loose strings of code.

Only then, still weak and flailing and helpless, was he was brought into the colony proper, in order to teach him how to be a Watcher. It wouldnt be for another few years before Grian gained the strength, control, and insight required to make his desperate escape. In total, i wanna say he spent somewhere between.... 4-6 years??? with the colony against his will. It would take another 4 for him to finally scrape together the courage to contact Mumbo and finally ask him for an invite into the Hermitcraft proper

One of these days i do plan to write that reunion, actually, which i'll add to the series as another prequel just like all the words that i forgot to say, which takes place roughly 6-8 months after Grian finally joins Hermitcraft. And if yall want to read an absolutely fantastic fic that deals with the moment Watcher!Grian was born and Player!Grian died, you should absolutely check out my friend @raichett 's fic Divergency, which ive pretty much canonized bc it REALLY hits the nail on the head for that situation.

Okay this got a lot longer than i meant it to sidhskdjej also those timeframes are a little squiggly bc i havent fully settled on where they fall on the general timeline. I wanna say Grian had been a Watcher for abt a decade by the time Mumbo got him onto Hermitcraft, though, so thats the loose timeline im working off of when i talk abt this :] anyway thanks for giving me an excuse to write this all out!!! while your idea about the bedrock isnt necessarily canon, i absolutely ADORE it and can totally see Grian just tearing up his hands while scrabbling against the world border.... utterly heartbreaking we fucking LOVE to see it. Thanks for sending in your ask!!! I always love seeing what you have to say about hunger au!!! :DDD

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #grian #watcher grian #evo watchers #UHM. LORE AHOY???? ITS A DARK ONE THO GUYS IM NGL #txt

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#sometimes i feel very normal and then i interact with ppl lol #i had an in person meeting with my boss for the 1st time in ages and i usually talk to ppl while theyre driving or were walking somewhere #so i forgot how much im like obviously not making eye contact when ppl talk to me while hunched over and fidgeting lol #and when im trying to explain ideas to ppl abt like data stuff im like: i dont understand how what im saying doesnt make sense???#also with a healthy dose of wtf is this person trying to say to me? u r saying words and i dont kno what theyre directed at #we had a lab party and im like v awkward at those things. idk how to interact in groups #ppl r interacting and im watching like u r clearly getting something out of this that i am not #i did maybe secure a place as a patient for one of our undergrads who is in the dental school lol #she was like yea i need 8 patients and i was like lol u can look in my mouth and then proceeded to tell her all the weird teeth problems #ive had. maybe that was weird but she seemed interested so 🤷#i hope she follows up bc i havent been to the dentist in like 3 years #and i still habe my wisdome teeth #lol me at any party: i am waiting patiently until i can leave.#like its weird bc those r the time when ppl bond and make memories and all that but everytime someone calls back to events that ive been #there fore it baffles me bc im like. yea that was a thing that happened. i dont really have any feelings abt it so idk y u r recalling it #fondly??? plus my ears r kinda fucked so it was hard to focus on individual conversations #ay im so scatterbrained. thats what happens when u get little sleep and dont allow ur self to chill. ill just crunch myself into a lil ball #at least my boss tried to reassure me that id get accepted somewhere phd wise. but i will not relax until its official so rip #i just really want 2 specific schools to work out bc one is close to home and the other i can prob get good classes and opportunities #ugh i need to sleep. but im not tired :-P #unrelated

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caffeiiine · 4 months

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I read the tags on your Kunikida post… go ahead and explain, my liege

JUST SAW THIS SOMEHOW ABYWAYS TYYY

OKAY so probably going into detail about how kunikida can be considered passively suicidal since i have the most coherent thoughts on that aand warnings for stuff of that nature under the cut :D + length

[also small disclaimer, i have been procrastinating reading dazais entrance exam and so far have only seen the anime adaptation which apparently left a ton of stuff out so feel free to correct me on inaccurate details and/or missed examples or just downright incorrect information]

[note: idk if passive is the correct term bc i was thinking about it and hes not exactly like oh i hope this kills me yk, so whatever that term is lmk <3]

This stuff also sorta ties in with his ideals and their potential self destructive-ness. they tend to cause him to either negligently often risk his life with there being an apparent “other way”, or just outright risk his life with barely a second thought for his ideals.

so kunikida has very strong morals and that’s the core of his character. the main ideals referenced in the show being his infamous “ideal woman”, “how to make dazai ideal”, and the ideal that basically tells him to save people. [i forgot what that one is referred to as]. If we’re talking timeline wise i think one of the first examples of his ideals causing him to negligently risk his life would be in Dazais Entrance Exam, or The Azure Messenger arc if you’re an anime watcher.

First example off the top of my head in dazais entrance exam would be when him and Dazai first see the hostages, specifically the ones in the room

after the gas came down dazai has to actually wrestle kunikida away from the room because otherwise hes gonna die. kunikida repeatedly shouts about how “people shouldn’t die like this”. This might be a bit of a tangent but later on in the episode he remarks how he “may as well ahev set the bomb off himself” when Dazai asks about Rokuzou’s dad, implying he blames himself for Rokuzou’s dad’s death. This is of itself isn’t enough for me to say “oh yeah he’s passively suicidal” so moving on to the main manga where there are several other instances of his tendencies to throw himself directly in harms way.

[there may be examples before this i just skipped to chapter 40] and starting off strong we have the thing with Aya. This could be written up to circumstance but he had the opportunity to avoid death himself so im counting it. he’s basically hugging death. that’s all i have to say for this.

of course he ends up surviving it because of deus ex machina yosano. After the fact, Aya asks him what he would’ve done if Yosano wasn’t there. To which he replies basically he would’ve done the same thing he just did except died and basically would have been fine with the outcome as long as she didn’t die in front of him. [he would’ve been dead as well and not had to deal with the guilt] i should point out as well, he does this because of his ideals. he specifically cites his ideals around these parts usually. The not letting anybody die before his eyes is one of ideals and the most common one he uses.

[im pulling that from the fact he had no backup plans or anything to actually stop the bomb aside from Yosano, since his words could imply he would’ve tried to save Aya. and the guy with the bombs was using the fact Kunikida holds his ideals very close to him, taht he wouldn’t have allowed Aya to die if he could’ve prevented it.]

aaand i think our last example and best example for tonight

context for the scene: they’re in the getaway helicopter and tecchou is trying to take it down via his sword and Kunikida decides to take matters into his own hands and take down Tecchou. First off, HE DID NOT HAVE TO, CHUUYA IS RIGHT. THERE. HE LITERALLY SHOT TECCHOU WITH GRAVITY BULLETS EARLIER.

HE DID NOT HAVE TO RISK HIMSELF BUT HE DID. also additional context, in this arc and the previous arcs, he’s been faced with situation after situation where his ideals have failed him and he’s been unable to exercise them and save the people he thinks he should.

point being, he feels like complete shit! he probably is thinking like if he should do anything then, it should be he makes sure he gets his friends out of there. regardless of whether he’s dead or alive because he jumps out of the plane and full body tackles tecchou while being in direct contact with fucking chuuya.

chuuya “has to stay out of the fights and arcs half the time because he’s too good at his job” nakahara.

chuuya “just shot tecchou and did a decent job at keeping him back a few pages before” nakahara. you see my point.

oh and then he just attempts to blow the both of them up.

he does not care for his life at all here. not one bit. also he did not need to blow the both of them up. he could’ve made a fucking stun gun or anything else that wouldn’t KILL the BOTH of them??

my whole point is he does not care for his life here and it’s gets worse the more you progress through the manga.

anyways anyways ending off, kunikida repeatedly puts his life in danger either for his ideals or neglectfully and/or without need. this has been a ramble. this man is not okay.

also kinda funny is he’s partners with dazai of all people, actively suicidal princess bungou himself. i really enjoy their differences and how similarly different they are.

^ not actually related to anything but i almost started laughing so hard with my family in the room at this piece, junichiro looks so concerned

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rocksanddeadflowers · 11 months

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something I've been thinking about is how interesting it would be to see the goblincore/gremlincore/corvidcore type aesthetic to evolve into an actual subculture. obviously for starters we should change the name bc anything ending in -core just doesn't sit right with me? unless of course it becomes that "placeholder name turns true name" sorta deal but ANYWAY.

main three key elements I've noticed that tend to make up a subculture is: style/outfit presentation (the optional part), belief system, and music genre(s).

style and presentation: (like what you wear), that part is already obvious if you ever followed the aesthetic at any point. (it was trendy for a time I think, is it still trendy? bc idk if it is but that's not stopping me from loving it.) basically wearing majority earth colors like browns and greens, stuff like hobbit-esque cloths or sweaters and stuff. definitely LOTS of nature based themes or just wearing weird trinkets. gotta go for that "creature directly out of the chronicles of spider wick" type look you know?

with the clothes (and often interior design I've noticed, which my entire bedroom would probably fit the aesthetic actually) one thing I've noticed for most who are into the aesthetic is there is a LOT of DIY. also going out and collecting things you find (anything from mystery trinkets to dead bugs and sticks and rocks, which I grew up doing and would call myself a tinker bc I made stuff out of what I found very often).

belief system: I feel like, above all else, beliefs commonly held among people in this aesthetic is to respect and be in nature, as well as do not waste, reduce and reuse. a lot of environmentalist like stuff, as well as seeing and respecting the beauty of nature, from butterflies and flowers to dirt and corpses. I don't have a solid concrete answer for belief system, but hopefully that sums up my view on it.

music genre: folk/folk punk, fantasy DND type genres, and nature based lyrics and vibes. from my experience and digging around, there's less artists who catch the vibe of this aesthetic all around (bc that's not what they're trying to do), and moreso having a couple or handful of songs that fit so very well. unless of course it's a genre of music that is enheritly matching to this aesthetic.

anyway, I'm not great at explaining the music aspect of it, but I feel like if it's magical and yet sorta punk-like that can work. no limits here yet, I have a playlist on my youtube that definitely pushes the boarders but who cares? the thing has celtic woman and httyd score on it. I just think if this evolved into having music for the genre (idk if we could call it a music based genre since it didn't start that way but I mean overall having a genre of music dedicated to this aesthetic-turned-subculture) it would be really interesting to hear what comes of it.

circling back for a minute, I feel like punk comes hand-and-hand with a couple of things here, but specifically mainly eco-punk. like diy, reduce and reuse, etc. as well as the music, while not deeply punk still feels like it would have a punk undercurrent.

I also think this could parallel well with goth, with the dark romantic sorta stuff. the music and belief system having love and adoration for the strangest and darkest aspects of nature, similar to goths seeing beauty in the darkness and creepiness of the world.

if anyone actually read this I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on my little rant (suggestions for bands/musicians and similar subcultures/subculture parallels are very encouraged) bc I grew up doing pretty much everything within this aesthetic long before I knew it was a thing or maybe even before it was a thing. that isn't meant to be gate keepy. I mean that when I found out just how many other people liked and did the same things as me, it was just so cool. so I just really wanna talk to people about this and I think something like this aesthetic could easily become a subculture one day.

#i am ALWAYS open wanna talk about this style in general #nature based stuff is very important to me pls feel free to reply or reblog with literally any positive points #goblincore #gremlincore #corvidcore #crowcore #nature #alternative subcultures #alt subculture #goblin aesthetic #goblin vibes

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