#BUT IM LEAVING IT THERE BC. SHY. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

outismm · 2 years

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THE SONG FOR THE LONGEST TIME BY BILLY JOEL TOTALLY MAKES ME THINK OF YOUR SELF SHIP WITH ROBOTUS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im perfectly fine what do you mean. I'm so normal about this. definitely not exploding while listening to it. not at all. Ignore the teakettle noise emanating from my head.

The soft Happy Vibe that it has is giving me. Chest Vibrations. My diaphragm is about to rocket out of my chest and hit a pedestrian. If I had to Distill Willie down into one sound it's Happy Background Singers and Finger Snapping.

Who knows how much further we'll go on Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone I'll take my chances I forgot how nice romance is I haven't been there for the longest time

This part. specifically. is making my brain invert.

Like yes yes yes yes yes arkgkrKGKRKGRGJGKRJK CAR CRASH NOISES SCREAMING SHOUTING

AB falling in love w/ someone who's got a way shorter lifespan,,,,,,,, but him 'taking his chances' bc he loves Willie and it's worth the eventual grief bc he loves him and AAAAAAA

and like. the contrast. Willie worrying that AB will get bored of him but. not letting himself worry bc he loves him so much,, and even if it's temporary

IM SO UNWELL ABOUT THIS. THIS SONG IS SO SOFT AND LOVEY I. <33333333333333333333333333333

I could literally go on for centuries but. <33 EEE THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS SONG REC WITH ME. IM GONNA BE THINKING OF THIS FOREVER AAAAA HAVE THE MOST LOVELY DAY WEEK MONTH YEAR

#🤖🧪 human error #NOBODY LOOK AT ME RN. OKAY. OKAY. SHUSH.#IM STILL SHY. GO AWAY DO NOT OBSERVE ME MSNDSM #<33333333333 AAAAAAAAA #i could literally go. line by line and write a thesis about how THOROUGHLY you've tapped into my brainstem and siphoned out my thoughts #while i was asleep #BUT IM LEAVING IT THERE BC. SHY.#(hes lying hes putting it in the tags)#'i dont care what consequence it brings ive been a fool for lesser things' IS SO WILLIE. THATS HIS WHOLE THING. LIKE YEAH YOURE RIGHT #he literally sees an Evil Robot Put In A Tube For Trying To Destroy The World and is like Oh. Friend. and potentially Lover.#he doesn't CARE what other ppl think of AB bc. Willie believes that he's a good person who just doesn't know it yet.#and. yeah maybe he's wrong but the risk!! is worth it!! bc love!! AAAAAAAAAA!!#'Once I thought my innocence was gone. Now I know that happiness goes on' IM SCREAMING #ITS. GESTURES WILDLY YES EXACTLY THATS. YEAH. ab initially thinking humanity is all Shit and then finding.#this Odd Little Ball of Sunshine And Pure Optimism Distilled Into A Canadian Idiot and is like. hm.#maybeperhaps humanity is not just made of evil greedy horrible ppl. perhaps i am not irredeemable perhaps there is good in the world.#like aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #ohyeah its Wiggly Fingers time. these fingers are WIGGLIN my dudes. about to palpatine smb im so ENERGY.#putting this on. one of the Secret Playlists im making >:))))#*gripping head* every time i. post selfship stuff i feel like smbs gonna pop outta the woodwork and hit me with the Cringe Mallet.#WHICH IS SILLY. NOBODY IS GONNA BE MEAN THIS BLOG IS LITERALLY. MOSTLY SELFSHIP STUFF. I WRITE X READER STUFF. IM INSANE SMB SEDATE ME SDMS #ENNIEWAES. IM GONNA BE THINKING OF THIS ALL NIGHT. HANDS YOU MY BANK CARD AND THEN DISSAPPEARS INTO THE WOODS.#I'm screaming at a pitch that can only be heard by canines.

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kimquatz · 10 months

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Simply just curious! (and when i say old art, say like... 3-5+ years old)

#i usually leave old art up bc im big on archiving #and i think it's kind of neat when u leave old art up u can see how u improved over the years as well #and it can also serve as a point of motivation as well when ppl see other artists also evolving over the yrs!!#but i wont lie sometimes i get a lil shy and prune some old stuff LMFAO

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unexpectedbrickattack · 1 year

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fucking Help Him

#pepstavo #spicy hot #but like ONLY for the text #keeping it out of the bigger main tags bc im shy sdfkhsfshdfksdj #apologies for it being so text heavy....#and apologies but i have so much happening now #flight coming up #multiple comms i had to put on hold for Reasons #bday coming up #so um. this is what im leaving with you #see yall in like two weeks maybe; ill keep the queue up and running #and possibly add my own art to it #but i wont have any time to indulge in ANYTHING art related aside from comms :(#i wanted to draw pie----poe interactions and i cant even do THAT i hate it here

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merriclo · 1 year

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hey. fierce deity but it’s a jekyll and hyde situation. fierce’s personality takes on whatever traits that Time tries to bury and ignore. however violent or benevolent he acts depends entirely on what Time is suppressing.

#either like. time is secretly very unsatisfied and bitter and is barely not lashing out #so fierce is constantly bitter and lashing out #or time is suppressing his emotions bc he’s afraid of attachment #so fierce is incredibly paternal and comforting #u can go either way (or both at the same time which would be very very interesting. time’s not showing his anger at how his family has been-#- treated and is horrified of the prospect of having found family in people he Knows he will have to leave at some point)#imagine warriors figuring this out and having to come to terms w the fact that the ferocious and oddly caring war deity was taking on the-#- personality of the sweet but shy and closed off 10 yr old he had come to care for #what a wild ride that would be #pspspspsps angst writers. cmere.#i might write this but i’d love to see what others can do w this idea #time lu #lu time #linked universe #linkeduniverse #fierce deity lu #lu fierce deity #lu #ft my interpretation of jekyll and hyde #i think this is the common understanding of it. i don’t know i just listened to my dad rant abt it two years ago and think ik what im on abt

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lucabyte · 2 months

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✨

#aaugh putting this in tags because im shy but. little reminder that i will answer asks/questions about what the hell im on about in my #isat drawings and the rambles i leave in the tags. i am however like a vampire in that i must be invited to do so first #this ALSO counts for Nohats. Theres a bunch of nohats stuff that hasnt been posted abt bc sam and i have no idea how to execute on it but #yeah im not. used to being in active fanbases so i feel rude just yellin about AUs and headcanons!!! augh!!! but i want to make it #very clear that i very expressly make fanworks with the intent that other people can chew on them and build upon them. so. if i look like #i have more info or thoughts and youd want them. youll probably have to ask since just putting it out there feels presumptive to meee yowch #ill also just answer asks in general . the only reason i dont appear talkative is bc i dont wanna look presumptive and rude LOL #lucabytetalks

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gardenlilgnome · 10 months

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// nsfw

Childe riding Scara's strap with his hands tied behind his back while Scara looks completely unbothered listening to his lover's whimpers and desperate moans while reading a book. Childe is overstimulated and his hips are aching from all the grinding; he hasn't been touched by the other since the start and seeing him so bored even when he's being slowly tortured like that is so frustrating. He wants to be touched and have his little performance appreciated by Scara so he starts begging, crying and saying he can't cum anymore and shamelessly begging some more until Scara snaps from all that unnecessary noisy and throws his book to the side to turn Childe around, burying his face in the mattress and fucks him until he finally shuts up <3

#scara doesn't take care of childe after just bc he was that annoying and just leaves him there the whole night #not even untying him #but childe is too tired to even ask for it #i never wrote anything this specific bc im shy but this scenario hasnt left my head so #oh god im so embarrassed #chiscara #mine

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vanyafresita · 3 months

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nobody:

me: im just gonna make a dungeon meshi self insert, it's gonna be fun ! i'd definitely be a halfling... cute clothes too... and i.... *looks at holm for a little too long* ah, FUCK IT *draws my very real gnome boyfriend next to me*

#d-d-do you think he would mind our lifespans are completely fucked #i saw that funny page ryoko kui drew about long lived races being disgusted at those who date shortlived races bcs of the age gap #and i think its very funny to.... think... about.... <- totally hasnt been daydreaming inserting myself in the post canon story to date hol #LEAVE ME ALOOOOONNNEEEE #he is so sillu and goofy and cute my little gnome.... I NEED TO BITE HIM CHEW ON HIM HE IS SOOOOO #dies #“the clothes are confusing are they in canon or modern era”#i drew myself first so i was supposed to be in canon #but then i drew holm taking as a base the gnomes info page height chart (forgot to mention) but thrn i gave him modern looking clothes.....#IDK OKAY #tbf i've clothes similar to the ones of my self insert so really we're both wearing modern stuff- im weird but that's just my fashion style #<- trully dresses like the english teacher they are #ANYWAYS #my art #vanya strawberry flavored #im shy so reblogs are disabled lol

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yardsards · 1 year

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thinking about the fact that i was so socially awkward as a teen that the school wanted to me out of class to attend "social skills classes" once a week (to which i attended one and demanded i be removed from the program cuz it was just me and about a dozen equally uncomfortable probably-autistic kids who also probably did not want to be there, being forced to do icebreaker activities by deeply condescending special education teachers)

how did i not receive an autism diagnosis til i was nearly an adult and specifically advocated for myself to be taken to a professional to get checked out for autism and adhd???

#eliot posts #i'm really curious whose call it was to put me in there #it wasn't my parents because my mother was Outraged that her kid got put in a special ed type class and signed the papers so i could leave #so like. what teacher made that call.#and what exactly sparked that #was it my general being a loner or was there An Incident #i don't remember exactly what grade i was in. probably 8th or 9th?#so still kind of stuck in my ''convinced myself i was just Better than my peers and that's why i didn't have many friends'' phase #following that was a phase where i got over myself but was kinda just shy #and then a phase where i went okay fuck it we ball and acted weird but in a way intended to be funny #that annoyed some people but some people enjoyed. by then i figured ''eh i aint seeing most of these ppl ever again after graduation''#i had some friends in high school bc of marching band but they were all in different grades than me #tho even then i was only close w like 2 of them and the rest all seemed closer to each other than to me #edit: dug through my blog and it was 7th grade (yeah ive been on here that long)#so this was before i even had my marching band friends. but probably after my singular friend from elementary school moved away?#i forget if he left in 6th or 7th grade #(im still friends with that friend. he's great we love him)

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tinylittlebab · 1 year

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ill be skinny. it will happen. ive been trying for so long now. once it was just trying to eat less and be smaller but not much real focus on my physical appearance. now its all about that. 11 years of my ed and 7 years of wanting what i want now. i dont live with my parents anymore. i have more control. i will achieve it.

there was a time where id eat 300-700 consistently. ill get that back. i will.

#most of the years ive had an ed i had no access to a scale so it was very jard to track progress #maybe i did lie my ass off and fool ppl around me into thinking its actually healthier for me to have a scale bc ill restrict worse without #one which is half true. not that kts anyones right to make that choice at this point. at least not in 2 months when im 18 its not #part of the problem im having is i wanna be small but i have so little muscle that ill have to be very dangerously underweight to look even #close to how i want. many peoples ugws are under that line. mine was once. before i learned that its genuinely very very dangerous #and a lot of the people who look the way i wanna look are only just below that line which is where id like to be #they look that way bc they have more muscle. most ppl cant maintain a bmi of 14 or less for that long. eventually your body freaks out #ppl use instances like eugenia coonie as proof that you can actually do it but like. most peoples bodies wont hold out that long #and many of the ppl in thinspo pics eother only maintained it for a short bit before gaining or getting really sick or they weighed more #and had more muscle. and like. my goal isnt to be all bone. i dont wanna push it that far. bony people arent physically nice to hold anyway #i just wanna be light enough that somwone cpuld carry me and people might view me in a certain way #i wanna be seen as cute and fragile and shy and like. young and sweet. ots hard to explain exactly what i want peopel see see me like but i #want when people look at pictures or videos of me for them to think i look sweet and wanna be gantle and nice to me #and when i walk around places instead of seeing an awkward weirdo they see a timid cute girl whos really tiny and pretty #i know ill never be that but. maybe if i lose enough weight and dont have much acne and leave my hair down then maybe i can come close

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x-ladydisdain-x · 10 months

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Maybe I’m delusional or maybe my freshman and sophomore year history teacher is the only person who has ever understood me

#thinking about how I saw in the back corner of her classroom freshman year bc I was shy and she would go out of her way to stand in that #corner and talk to me and ask me about the books I was reading #how she would leave thoughtful notes on my work sometimes even complimenting me about it in person #and during class presentations I would freeze up and panic and choke on my words #and then she’d go it’s okay take you’re time you’re doing great #and then tell me afterwards that she liked my presentation #sophomore year I was confident enough in her class to sit in the very front row #and she would look at me while lecturing and make jokes specifically towards me #and before the ap exam I was standing around after school hours #and she asked me if I had a ride home and offered to wait with me #and she asked how I was feeling about the exam and I was feeling really nervous and not confident at all #and she fully talked me down and convinced me that I could do it and said she believed in me #on the last day I had her class she said quote:#it’s been wonderful watching you blossom the two years I’ve had you I think you’ve really found who you are and you’re owning it and im so #proud of you #and she hugged me #I miss her so much #school fucking sucks without her her class was the highlight of my day #literally just seeing her is the highlight of my day now #she waved to me in the hallway today and I haven’t stopped thinking about it #im gonna cry. I miss her so bad

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ohhyperbola · 1 month

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#im asking bc im not sure if you guys would be interested in meeting me a bit more.#i was thinking about it since i just draw something; slap it here and run away. only come back to read silly tags you leave me with #kind of lurking here #you guys have to believe me i'm in fact very shy about posting my art here #i'd love to share some stories and drawings of my ocs tbh...

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friendlessclown · 3 months

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social anxiety killingggg me killinggggg my mind

#yesterday i made eye contact with a stranger and i thought they were gonna beat the shit out of me #and im. scared to go outside #unmgjjgkt this is why i rlly hate sad being seen as the Being Shy Disorder bc it fucking ruins my life #makes me barely leave my house and be terrified to talk to anyone even if theyre my friend #and yeah the whole thinking people are gonna kill me thing #im scared allllll the time #which is probably also due to my gad tbh that one fucks me up too

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chaosandthe-deadblog · 10 months

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one of those crazy girls - paramore cover (live from my bedroom)

#PLEASE ignore that my voice cracked a few times and that the quality is dogshit #i do NOT have proper equipment to record covers but i wanted to post one ok. leave me alone #also reblogs off bc im shy #yerbitar

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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months

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...

#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be #like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now #maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy #im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when #im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck #but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak #thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just #wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive #been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work #my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes #and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over #the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and #talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it #so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree #inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im #glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of #couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot #unrelated #its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment #and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i #dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it

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bratkook · 11 months

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wait what ever happened with zipline boy?

hehe he’s still v much on the roster, we talk casually throughout the week and i will be seeing him again in hawaii next month 🤭

#bratkook.exe #we hung out last time but he said he felt a little shy bc i was obvi with my friend #but this time im going with a really big group so ill be able to wander off #without leaving anyone alone #but im excited to see him!#bc he’s cute and has long hair that i just wanna pull ahhhhhh!!!

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odietamox · 4 months

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it's crazy to how so many people where really struggling during lockdown (and rightfully so) but me? i was doing great. i had my little online classes, i practically didn't do any homework, I was hanging out with my family, cooking my little things, watching my little shows. it was basically what became my normal now (minus the singing out of my balcony part lol). my problem came when everything started to go back to normal and now suddently everyone was doing great and i was absolutely miserable and still stuck in those habits

#and back then i didnt get why everyone was so happy to go out again #and i didnt get why i was steuggling so much #and i still dont tbh- like whats the deal with me?? why do i have to be like this??#ykw i never really thought about how much the pandemic REALLY affected me #like yeah i migtve had an eating disorder and i mighve been quite shy but i was never this anxious #like dont wanna talk to anyone dont wanna leave the house #ALSO i remember lockdown as nkt that bad but im not sure if its like the whole truth?#it was definitely onw the worst times in terms of like self esteem bc i had gained weight but without recovering #i do remember not wanting to shower because i could feel the fat on my body #BUT ANYWAY #srry about the ranting lol

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