Special Astarion giggle after Nettie gives Tav wyvern poison. We must document all the giggles.

*the gang steps into baldur’s gate*

halsin: they’re making people pay for flowers?? for fruit?? things that silvanus gave to us for free?!

astarion: omg why are you yelling at me? i didnt make the system

astarion: wait

(source: x)

please continue with dadstarion if you want to. we lov him

don’t worry i don’t need to be asked

tav getting mugged and gale and shadowheart are just 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

Hey Larian why can't I mention to anyone that the squid man tried to get in my (Ember's) pants? If that happened to me in real life I don't think I'd ever stop talking about it

—

this is durgestarion 2 me (original post)

Star kiss, coloured edition! + Silly bonus

Gale, explaining why he has to consume magic:- and that, my friends, is how I came into possession of this unfortunate ailment.

Tav: his gale-ment, if you will.

Astarion: I won’t, thanks.

what do you mean weirdos?

I’m fucking dying Astarion’s early party banter is him just flirting with all the companions and striking out; none of them are having it. When he comes on to Tav at the party, not only is he manipulating them, but they are literally his last choice. Not even plan b or c, Tav was plan ‘fuck it, I guess we’re doing this!’ and that clown still fell into his own pit trap.

FANGS

assigned female by the children

Lae'zel sees me dating both Astarion and Halsin in Act 3.

Despite having no levels in Bard, she casts Vicious Mockery by saying, "Elf dick has you acting unwise."

I am instantly killed.

Lae'zel is pleased to confirm she is the finest comedian the Githyanki ever produced.

I made Gale lick the spider too since he was so pressed about it, we're in this together brother

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it's fascinating that those biphobes compare women liking astarion to women liking legolas and they mention a popular post that says "I never understood why so many straight women are into legolas. what do you think he is going to do? top you?" they bring this post up like some sort of proof "haha. so right. so true."

EXCEPT the notes on that popular post are filled with THOUSANDS of women commenting "no. I am gonna top him" and "bold of you to assume women can't top" and a lot of them are bisexual women commenting "I am bi and I only like men who look like a girl lol" honestly relatable Lmao

they act like that shitpost is pointing out some truth about how those women are silly. but the replies on that post show the stupidity of that assumption. people really don't get that feminine looking women don't just want to be rough handled by some masculine dude. and people have varied tastes and sexual desires. there is so much misogyny all tangled up in the biphobia. but it's subtle in a way that they don't notice their views on these matters are flawed because even when we point out what's wrong with these gender essentialist stereotypes, they ignore it and treat it as a joke "haha you all act like we wanted to behead bisexuals"