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#As well as everything that happens afterwards
fairyhaos · 3 days
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how seventeen comfort their s/o after a nightmare
requested by anon !
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seungcheol
one moment, all the terror is consuming you and you feel like you're trapped in all of your worst fears and the next, you're being jolted awake and you find yourself sobbing into a warm chest, seungcheol having grabbed you and hugged you so suddenly that it literally woke you out of your nightmare. knows you better than you know yourself. holds you in his arms even after you drift off once more
jeonghan
“what's wrong, baby? shh, don't worry, it was just a nightmare, it didn't actually happen, i'm here.” very good at verbally reasoning with you through your hazy panic, even as he's stroking your hair and hugging you tight. helps your tears go away in a matter of minutes, and holds you and talks to you about everything and nothing to help you fall asleep again
joshua
instantly comforts you by constantly reassuring you of his presence. is all “i'm right here sweetheart, don't worry, i'm not going anywhere, i'm here for you” and just holds you, rocking you from side to side as you cry and tremble in his arms before the aftershocks die down and the warmth of his comforting presence helps you finally relax
junhui
makes the most distressed sounds in response to your distress. might very well end up crying with you, but he gives rlly good hugs so you help each other calm down too. you eat ice cream out of the tub together after, talking about nonsensical things bc you don't want to think about the contents of your nightmare. but that's okay, bc junhui will be there by your side always
hoshi
“you're crying? are you crying? oh, baby, why are you crying, don't cry, it's okay.” he's all big, genuine comfort, wiping at your eyes with his hands even though you scared him by waking him up whilst sobbing your eyes out. he jumps into helping you instantly, holding you until the trembling subsides and you feel like yourself again
wonwoo
scoops you up into his arms without a second thought. he's so worried for you, because you've been rendered incoherent by the nightmare, but he'll hold you without a question until your heart stops beating so fast that he can feel it vibrating in your chest, keeping you protected in his arms. 
woozi
like some sort of sixth sense, he always wakes up whilst you're contemplating whether it's silly to wake him up after you've had a nightmare. doesn't even have to say anything, just looks at you, takes your hand and drags you out of bed to make a snack in the middle of the night, taking ur mind off the nightmare and staying by your side until you feel better. 
minghao
“you're okay, you're okay, shhh it's okay, you're okay. i'm here with you, everything's okay.” biggest focus is reassuring you that you're safe, that you're with him and nothing can hurt you here. he might address why exactly you had that particular nightmare later, but right now, his biggest priority is keeping you safe. 
mingyu
wakes up to the sound of you crying and does not even think before sitting upright in an instant, making his head feel all achy but that doesn't matter because he needs to help you, right now, needs to make whatever is hitting you go away in an instant. it's almost instinctive, the urge to protect you. makes you instant ramen afterwards to get rid of the post-nightmare shivers
dokyeom
he's a light sleeper, so the moment he hears any sound of distress from you he's blinking awake, blindly reaching for you and trying to pull you closer into his chest, even if you haven't woken up yet. makes soothing noises to you until you relax. if you didn't wake, then he'll just hold you til he falls asleep again, but if you did, then he'll tell you he loves you again and again until you believe it
seungkwan
when he wakes up to you tapping his shoulder hesitantly, breathing still a little shaky, he knows that you've had a nightmare. can tell instantly whether you wanna talk about it or not, and when you don't, he simply shifts a little so you can hug him in bed, listening to the sound of his heartbeat until you fall asleep again, safe. 
vernon
shakes you out of your nightmare with the most concerned tone in his voice, and he's all groggy with sleep but he cares so much and the relief that you feel from seeing his bleary face in the darkness makes you cry out of love, overwhelmed. he doesn't question it, just lets you cry into his shirt until you feel better
chan
he is, unfortunately, a rather heavy sleeper, so you wake yourself up by crying before he's able to wake up to comfort you. it's okay tho, because even if he's a heavy sleeper, he's also, like, a telepath, so the moment you're awake he's also blinking his eyes open too, reaching for you before he's even woken up fully, doing everything within his power to make your hurt and your pain go away. 
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saistappen · 16 hours
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Helpful friend | LN
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Warnings — alcohol
In which you just wanted to help lando
or
In which rules are suddelny broken
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The bass was literally pounding in my ears, while the floor beneath my feet seemed to vibrate more with every step I took.
The lights were dimmed and every now and then a few colorful lights flashed on for a few seconds. It smelled of sweat and alcohol.
Sweaty bodies rubbed against each other so that there was barely room to squeeze past.
My mood slowly hit rock bottom as I tried to get away with saying 'May I? ' which left my mouth in a continuous loop, squeezed past the dancing crowd.
Tonight should actually have been a good night. I was in a club in London with Lando, Aarav, Ria, Niran and Max Fewtrell.
Lando and I had been back in London for a while, where we had bumped into the part of Team Quardrant that we didn't get to see very often.
We had spent the whole afternoon filming a few challenges for the YouTube channel.
Afterwards, we had been driven here to the club, where we wanted to party a little, just like old times.
Everything had gone well at first, until a stranger spilled the contents of his sticky drink on my lap and I had to queue in the long line to the loo for about 45 minutes until I could somehow wipe the sticky liquid off my dress.
The dark stains had been clearly visible in the bright light of the toilet, despite my panicked rubbing around, unlike now in the lushly lit club. Here you could only guess at the stains.
As I squeezed past sweaty bodies and struggled to keep my mouth shut, my eyes wandered through the crowd, searching.
Hoping to get a better look at one of my friends, I stood on tiptoe, but it didn't help much.
Inwardly, I cursed myself for not having worn higher heels. But they probably wouldn't have helped me in this stupid light, which barely provided any light at all.
An annoyed sigh left my lips when I was bumped into again. My eyes closed reflexively and I waited for another sticky liquid to be poured over my body.
But nothing happened.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked into Ria's face, who was looking at me radiantly. Her lipstick was a little smudged, while her hair sat a little disheveled on her head.
Before I had rushed to the toilet queue, I had left Ria alone on the dance floor, where she had probably continued to dance extensively and wildly, as her appearance told me.
" Hey, there you are! " She shouted over the loud music and wrapped her bare arm around me so that I wouldn't get lost in the crowd again.
" I've been looking all over for you, where are the others? " I also called out to her, whereupon Ria raised her eyebrow in confusion and had to think for a few seconds about what I had just asked her.
I couldn't blame her. Ria had already had a bit of alcohol, so my best friend took a little longer to think.
" Over there! " The dark-haired girl pointed her index finger in a certain direction, where I spotted Lando and Niran.
The two of them were standing on the platform where the DJ booth was located and a DJ was just about to heat up the crowd, so a loud roar went through the crowd and I was sure I would wake up with a headache in the morning.
Of course, where else would Lando be?
My best friend had recently become quite interested in the whole DJ thing, so Lando took every opportunity to look over the shoulder of a DJ at work.
" Are you coming with me? " I asked Ria as I took my eyes off Lando and Niran. But Ria was no longer standing where she had just been, but disappeared straight back into the crowd, which literally swallowed her up.
I took a deep breath and resolved to hold my breath from time to time over the next few minutes as I made my way to the DJ booth. Because there really was nothing more disgusting than the smell of sweat.
I kept getting elbowed in the stomach or back, so that my fingernails began to dig into my palms and I had to control myself not to accidentally kick them.
What felt like an eternity later, I had fought my way to the DJ booth. I leaned my head back to look up.
However, once again there was no sign of the Formula 1 driver.
That couldn't be true. How could everyone keep getting away from me?
Once again, my eyes wandered back and forth frantically as the DJ turned the music up a little louder so that I almost had a sudden hearing loss from the large speakers not far away from me.
Grumbling, I pressed my hands firmly over my ears. I had nothing against going to a club with friends to have a bit of fun and dance the night away.
But if there was one thing I loathed more than anything, it was incredibly loud music, lots of people and the smell of sweat.
" Where are you guys? " I mumbled more or less to myself as I found an empty crate and stood on it without hesitating.
I was finally a bit taller and could clearly see over some of the heads of the dancing and drinking crowd.
From a distance, I could see Max standing at the bar with his girlfriend and Aarav and Niran dancing strangely with Ria.
But where was my best friend?
My heart automatically began to beat a little faster, while a slight fear crept up inside me.
I knew that Lando couldn't handle too much alcohol and that he often forgot when it was time for him to stop because of the so-called peer pressure.
I had already seen Lando do strange things when he was drunk.
Lando was the kind of person who was initially quite funny under the influence of alcohol, but things changed abruptly soon afterwards and the McLaren driver quickly became tired.
I had occasionally found him sleeping in the strangest places, such as in the middle of a hedge, leaning against a tree or in front of a flower store.
Suddenly, I spotted the curly-haired man from afar, pushing open the back door of the club and seemingly disappearing into the backyard.
I quickly jumped down from the crate, almost falling over, but quickly caught myself.
I had to hurry to catch up with Lando in time before the Brit could even begin to think strange thoughts.
With difficulty, I literally boxed my way through the crowd towards the back exit. With every meter I walked, I prayed to find Lando in the backyard.
Maybe he just needed some fresh air or a break from the loud music, which I couldn't blame him for.
As I pushed open the steel door, the cool night air of London came straight at me, making me shiver in my sleeveless dress.
I wrapped my arms protectively around myself as I stepped further into the dark backyard and the door slammed shut with a loud thud and the club's music could only be heard muffled.
But the bass could still be clearly felt, so my knees began to tremble slightly.
The backyard was only lit by a single lamp hanging crookedly from the wall of the house, threatening to fall out of the wall with the next bash.
" Hello? " I asked into the barely lit alleyway. To my right were two large garbage cans and countless cigarette butts. The club staff and some guests always had to disappear here to smoke.
To my left was a residential building with a few lights still on, which I couldn't blame given the volume. Although I rather wondered how anyone could voluntarily move next door to a club.
A narrow corridor between the apartment building and the club led back to the street. But the corridor was pitch black.
" Lando? " I almost whispered as I pulled my cell phone out of my small pocket and turned on the flashlight.
What I was doing here was probably a good start for a horror movie. But to be honest, I only felt the slightest hint of fear, which was probably due to my alcohol intake.
My feet slowly walked towards the corridor, which was now slightly illuminated by my flashlight and I could see a little better.
And then I discovered something.
Lando sat leaning back against the brick wall with his head in his hands.
" Lan! " I shouted, almost relieved, as I ran the last few steps towards my best friend and crouched down in front of him.
He raised his eyes and looked at me. His eyes were slightly glazed and had lost their shine, while he was quite pale around the nose.
He must have thrown up.
" There you are, " he slurred slightly as a smile spread across his lips and he wrapped his arms around me.
Surprised by this embrace, I more or less lost my balance and stumbled onto Lando's lap.
My eyes widened as Lando's mouth let out an 'oops' and he began to giggle.
I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and then I began to clear my throat in embarrassment before quickly rising from his lap.
At any other time I probably would have enjoyed this, but definitely not in a drunken state.
" Are you okay? " Lando inquired anxiously as he stood up and began to sway. Another soft chuckle escaped him as he rested his hands on the wall.
" Shouldn't I ask you if you're okay? " I asked as I carefully grabbed Lando's arm to support him.
" Until just now...No..." he mumbled as he slowly put one foot in front of the other and left the dark backyard with my help.
" And now? " I asked when we had finally left the dark alley behind us and were back on the street, which was still a bit busy.
A few cars and pedestrians were still on the road at this late hour and their presence made me feel a little safer.
" Now yes! " Lando beamed. " Because... because you're here. "
Without being able to do anything about it, my stomach began to tingle slightly thanks to Lando's words.
I knew he was drunk and probably didn't even remember what he was saying, but those words still made me feel pretty warm.
" Are you taking me home? I feel sick and I'm suddenly so tired," Lando sulked and then emphasized his statement with a loud yawn.
" I'll do that, but if you feel sick, let me know straight away, okay? "
Lando nodded tiredly. Before I called us a cab, I wrote to the group of friends that Lando and I were already on our way back.
I hoped that one of them would read the message and not panic and search the whole club for us.
It took a few minutes for Lando and I to wait for the cab. While we waited, the Brit told me some weird story about gorillas and red lollipops, which I didn't even understand the context of, but it had certainly been entertaining.
Lando hadn't said a word the whole cab ride, so I assumed he had fallen asleep.
But when the cab stopped at our address, Lando was suddenly wide awake again, so the British man gave the cab driver far too much money and then jumped out of the car.
Without saying a word to the cab driver, I also jumped out of the car and ran after Lando up the driveway.
" Where is the key? " I asked as I came to a halt next to him and Lando's eyes almost fell shut again.
"Jeans," he mumbled and then lifted his arms to give me more room.
Smiling, I reached into Lando's back trouser pockets and shortly afterwards pulled out the key to unlock the front door.
" This is where I live? " Lando looked around the hallway with wide eyes after I had switched on the light and closed the door behind us.
"yes" , I smiled as I put the key in the little bowl on the sideboard and then took off my shoes and put my bag down next to it.
Lando hated it when someone entered his home wearing shoes. He couldn't understand why you could feel at home with shoes on.
But the drunken Lando didn't seem to mind, because when I told him to go upstairs, the Brit ran up the wooden stairs without taking his shoes off first.
So while Lando ran upstairs, I quickly scurried into the kitchen to fill a glass of water and get an aspirin.
Hoping that Lando had already finished brushing his teeth and was in bed, I ran up to the bedroom.
But the bed was empty.
The glass of water and the aspirin found their place on the bedside table, next to a photo of Lando, his friends and me, before I ran over to the bathroom, where the light was on and Lando was sitting on the closed toilet seat, holding two wrapped toothbrushes in his hand.
" What are you doing? " I asked carefully, but apparently not carefully enough, as the Brit flinched and pointed the pink and yellow toothbrush at me.
"Phew, I thought you were a burglar," he mumbled, which made me giggle quietly.
" What are you doing? " With a nod, I pointed to the toothbrushes Lando was holding.
" I wasn't sure if the toothbrush in the cup belonged there, so I'd better get two new ones from the cupboard there," Lando pointed with his index finger to the cupboard under the sink to make it clear to me where he had got the toothbrushes from.
I know, Lando, I said to him in my mind, because I was the one who had got the toothbrushes for him and put them in the cupboard.
"This is yours, Lan," I explained to Lando as I grabbed the orange toothbrush, moistened it with water and then put toothpaste on it before holding it in front of Lando's nose.
"Cool, orange! " he grinned as he took the toothbrush from me and began to brush his teeth in slow movements, his eyes getting smaller and smaller.
" Are you going to be okay? " I asked him with a grin after I had put the packed toothbrushes away again and watched him for a few seconds.
" Brushing your teeth is sooo tiring. Has it always been? " he mumbled with the toothbrush in his mouth, causing a few blobs to drip onto his black shirt.
" Sometimes it's annoying, yes. Come on, I'll help you so it goes faster. "
I squatted slightly in front of Lando and started to help him brush his teeth. I had the feeling that I was looking at a small child and not a 24-year-old man.
After we had successfully brushed his teeth, I followed Lando over to the adjoining bedroom, where the Brit was already slipping out of his clothes.
By now he was hardly swaying, so I was sure that the alcohol was slowly disappearing from his body.
When Lando stood in front of me shortly afterwards in just his boxer shorts and I saw his muscular chest in the dim light produced by the bedside lamp, I almost fainted.
It would be a lie if I said that I hadn't had my eye on my best friend and found him attractive, because he really was.
However, there was a certain rule in our circle of friends that made it impossible for me to fall in love with my best friend, even though it was somehow way too late.
" Ohh, I forgot," Lando mumbled as he reached for the hem of his boxer shorts and tried to take them off too.
" Stop, stop! " I exclaimed in near panic as I pressed my hands over my eyes to avoid seeing my best friend naked, even though I would have loved the view at another time.
" Huh? " Lando asked, and without having to look at him, I knew that he was now standing there with a totally confused face and furrowed eyebrows.
" They stay on. " I slowly released my hands from my eyes again and was pleased to see that Lando was still wearing his boxers.
The dark-haired man nodded sympathetically.
I pulled a pair of sweatpants and a shirt out of his closet, both of which he was supposed to wear to sleep.
The Brit, however, dropped his butt onto the bed and stretched tiredly while he made no effort to get dressed.
So I had not only brushed my best friend's teeth, but also helped him into his clothes.
"You're the best," Lando mumbled as he finally slipped under the light-colored comforter and adjusted the pillow a little.
" Is there anything else I can do for you? " I asked after picking up his clothes, which were scattered randomly on the floor.
" If I asked you if you would stay, would you? " The gleam in Lando's eyes slowly returned, while a smile spread across his lips.
His question almost made the clothes I had picked up fall out of my hands again.
My heart skipped a beat as my hands began to play nervously with the fabric of Lando's shirt.
This had all gone a bit beyond our previous friendly boundaries. But sleeping in a bed with him would go completely beyond the scope, wouldn't it?
I couldn't just give in to Lando's drunken state because my heart in love wanted to scream yes out loud.
" Please ", he almost begged, while I still didn't move and almost clutched his clothes tightly. " You can wear something of mine to sleep in too. "
This sentence didn't make Lando's request any easier, because the butterflies woke up in my stomach, flapping their wings gently back and forth in my belly and my cheeks became slightly warm.
" U-uh...uhm you know that's against the rules? " I asked in a squeaky voice.
God, why were the rules suddenly so important to me?
" But there's no one here who made the rules. So no one needs to know about this, right? After all, I've always been against the rule that you can't date anyone from your circle of friends. "
Another grin formed on Lando's lips as he slowly pulled back the comforter and stood up.
A few steps later, the Brit stood in front of me.
"Besides, it's already too late for that rule anyway," he breathed more or less into my ear, causing goose bumps to spread all over my body.
And before I could even begin to open my mouth to say something back, Lando walked over to his closet and a short time later pushed some clothes towards me.
" I won't take no for an answer, because I know you feel the same way. "
With these words, Lando pushed me into the bathroom and before he closed the door, he winked at me.
And so he left me with an explosion of emotion.
I didn't know how long it had taken me to collect myself and then leave the bathroom changed.
All my emotions had gone so crazy with Lando's words that even after the long time I had spent in the bathroom, I walked back to the bed with trembling knees.
Lando was still awake. He lay covered up in bed and began to look me up and down with a grin as I scurried over to the free side of the bed.
My cheeks turned red again, so I quickly pulled the comforter over me and started tugging at the hem of Lando's shirt, which I was wearing, from under the comforter.
There was quite a big gap between Lando and me, which the Brit didn't seem to like.
He quickly wrapped his right arm around me and pulled me so close to him that my head automatically rested on his chest.
And so I could hear his rapidly beating heart.
" Do you hear how fast it beats? It always has since you've been around me," he more or less breathed to me as he wrapped his arms protectively around me and I felt a gentle kiss wash over my hair.
Damn, what was he doing to me?
My cheeks heated up again and my heart began to beat faster. Our hearts were probably fighting to see whose heart beat faster.
" Lando ", I whispered into the darkness a few minutes later, but it was too late.
The Brit had already returned to the land of dreams and left me alone with my rapidly beating heart and my thoughts.
And I hoped that he wouldn't regret this when he woke up tomorrow.
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emmaismyana · 2 days
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Hi!! I hate to intrude on your blog but I don't have a blog to talk abt this stuff (too risky) and I can't talk to anyone about it irl so I was wondering if I could go on a mini rant abt my ed bcos I'm a little fed up w myself rn 😭.
So, I've had what I like to call Ana Lite (TM) for a few years now (I used to eat smaller portions at meals to shrink my stomach/appetite) but it devolved into a full blown ed around Oct 2023. That's when I started seriously losing weight (and tracking it). Well, I've been fat all my life. And I don't mean skinny fat, or midsized, I mean fat fat. Like, (medically) obese. When I started I was 85.7kg. Between Oct and Dec of last year, I lost down to 72.8kg. I felt amazing, I had hit two of my gws and felt motivated.
Well, afyer some intsnse fluctuation, for the past 5 months or so I've maintained at 74.8kg. My honeymoon phase was over and I was no longer motivated to actually fast and get actual progress. Well, about 2 weeks ago I decided to change that. I weighed in then at 74.7kg and at the end of that week I was at 72.5kg (a new lw!!) I was (and am) overjoyed, but there's one issue. I fast as much as I can, but I can't avoid dinner or meals on weekends bc of my parents (my parents have both already asked me if im eating, i cant risk them knowing). My period was supposed to come that week, but as it normally happens when I fast, it didn't start until I started eating more on the weekend.
My period makes it so so much harder to fast bc my cravings get so much worse and you already gain weight on your period, which means I'm constantly bloated and feel fatter than usual. Anyway, my goal is to hit 59kg before I go back to school next year (important weight bc at my height it means I'll be 15 lbs under overweight) and it'll be so much easier if I lose as much as I can before summer starts bc once I'm home all the time it'll be a lot harder (I'm also currently unemployed, so ik getting a job again will help.) I have 2 weeks before summer hits and I really really wanna hit 68kg by then but I'm scared I gained weight this week 😭 and I rlly just needed to talk about it bcos I haven't eaten all day and I'm about to go to the gym and I need to make sure I don't binge afterwards bcos I'm supposed to weigh in tomorrow.
(Also I feel rlly bad about this but my friend who is Chinese and slightly overweight very vocally hates her body and definitely has an ed but if I were to let her know I have one too or that ik she has one it wouldn't end well. That's not the part I feel bad about. This summer she's going to china to stay w her mom who is very skinny and very fat phobic and ik the ppl around her probably won't care if she starves herself and I feel so bad for feeling this way but I'm so scared she's gonna lose a ton of weight without me. She's always been skinnier than me and the way she talks about herself makes me feel so much fatter but I love her and we've been friends for such a long time. The one thing I have going for me is that I have skinny legs and she has expressed so many times how jelous she is of them and I feel so shitty that it makes me feel good about myself. Everything between us already feels like a competition, I just wish we could both be skinny without the drama. But also, i don't want her to go to the hospital or anything I want her to get better and all of this shit is just so confusing 😭)
So so sorry if I annoyed you! I just don't have an outlet for any of this stuff (other than my journal lol) and you seemed really sweet.
(🐚 for me to find later if you do decide to post)
Hii!! Im not gonna respond to everythinf you said, my apologies!
But im so glad you were able to rant and please feel always welcome to, either anonymous like this or in my dm's youre always welcome ♡
Hope you feel a bit better :) and tysm for calling me sweet ahaha you seem nice too
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grizouille · 1 day
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Summary of the panel with Jeff and Taz
(@pure-jeff-ward if you're interested)
1-"what the devil fruit taste like?" According to Jeff, a devil fruit tastes like watermelon and chocolate
2 - "what's changed in your life since One Piece? " (as far as I understood) Taz told Jeff changed his life. And Jeff is impressed by Taz's dedication concerning his training, joking about the fact that he was kinda jealous that Taz was muscled compared to him but mostly he admires Taz. He's happy to be him friends with him. Afterwards Taz hugged him. (So cute!)
3-Their favorite scene of One Piece(series) is the last battle scene with Sanji and Zoro. Jeff joked about Buggy not fighting, saying "it's really hard to train to disassemble your body and all, I can't do that now because I'm tired" and Taz was in fits!
4- favorite music :Jeff loves hip hop and apparently rap and Taz likes all kind of music except techno. He likes when there is a beginning and an end to a song, songs that are constructed. (for example, he was playing Blink-182 on his phone while signing autographs and AC/DC during the photo ops)
5- favorite anime: Jeff likes Ghibli movies ("my neighbor totoro" and "spirited away") and Cowboy Bebop if I got it well, Taz likes Trygun currently.
6- favorite memory of the set: Taz loved explosions in the water. He was afraid because he was resting in his tent, so got out like "what's happening?" but then found it funny and amazing. Jeff talked about winning against Iñaki on FIFA (He said "destroying his ego" or something in the same vein. )
7-favorite character from One Piece who's not in the show yet: Jeff has chosen Trafalgar Law right away because he really likes his power. Taz wants to meet Sanji's dad and brothers, wondering what height they'd be. (On that point Jeff teased him for minutes after saying "they could be this size.... Or this size.. So funny!)
8- "if your character ordered food what would it be?" Buggy would order something and send it back, even if it's what he ordered, screaming and breaking everything around just for the fun of it. Sanji would order/make tart, he does this for very special people only.
9-Taz loves doing salads on set but the guys aren't keen on it. So he makes dishes in which he uses butter and salt for everybody to like it. Jeff added"that made me fall in love with him" 😂😂😂
10- "If you were in Avatar the last Airbender, which element would you like to bend?" : Taz said fire and Jeff said he'd like to bend all of them, like Hang
11-the last question was for Taz. "how do you deal with injuries?" Jeff said he ignores them lol but Taz said it was not wrong because "if it hurts nevermind." Yet, he uses ice bags if it hurts too much. He added that one day he was so hurt he called his dad and was shouting on the phone like he was dying lol.
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ironborealis · 1 month
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Lineage Cousins AU pt.2
Part 1: (link)
The Council is calling it a 'sabbatical' -- a chance for him to rest, reflect, and 'recover' from the stress of Galidraan and Komari being found unfit for Knighthood.
Only a senior padawan, Komari had slain twenty well-trained Mandalorians in their armor on that snowy battlefield. Then she'd turned to him, smiling brightly and so very proud and he'd known that things were about to go horribly wrong. He could see in her eyes that what she wanted was more than just the approval of her master -- she craved something from him that he could never provide her.
He'd dispatched his second, Master Syldatna, to take Fett on to the Governor, as the Senate ordered, while he pulled Komari back into the ship -- one of the many mistakes he made that day -- to try and make the foolish girl see reason.
She'd kissed him as soon as the door to the ship had shut.
He'd pushed her away, tried to make her see that this was a silly fantasy brought on by a post-battle adrenaline crash and likely not enough meditation (his own master's cure all for every wor).
They would forget it ever happened and neither would speak a word of it -- no one, but especially not the Council had to know.
There was shame enough on his lineage for having lost his grand-padawan to Falling so recently, and he'd not double down on the disgrace by losing his own padawan to something as fleeting as lust.
Komari was strong-willed though, something he both admired and cursed about her at times. Trying to make her see reason with a calmly stated rational argument was rather like trying to hold onto sand with a clenched fist -- a futile effort.
He'd been blunt, the only way to get through to her when she got this way: After the battle today he'd been ready to nominate her for her Jedi Trials. All of that was now in jeopardy with the revelation of her inappropriate attachment to him. She had until they returned to Coruscant to decide whether to become a Knight or to chase a foolish fantasy that would never be.
He hoped it'd be an easy choice for her to make in five days. Yet, when she stepped before the Council he'd known with only the intuition that a master could have about their padawan that she'd failed him. With a grieving heart he informed the Council of her attachment. Her subsequent outburst at his 'betrayal' had killed any future she may have had as a Jedi Knight.
She'd stormed off to join a task force headed towards Baltizaar, hard-headed as per usual, determined to prove both him and the Council wrong.
At least she'd finally broken her unseemly attachment to him.
Then the Senator from Naboo had disclosed to the Council the terrible truth of Galidraan -- that he and his fellow Jedi had murdered hundreds of innocent Mandalorians and assisted in selling the sole survivor of the massacre into slavery. The Council had bowed their heads in collective shame and then interrogated him for hours trying to find some fault in him that caused the confrontation to turn into a conflagration -- unwilling to say a word against the Senate who had not only given him the poor intelligence in the first place, but had demanded the surrender of any survivors to the Governor. Surely, the fault for this catastrophe lay mostly with the Senate --
The Council had demurred and invited him to take a period of reflection, which then was formally extended into months once word had returned of Komari's death at the hands of the Bando Gora.
This unwanted "sabbatical" is really a chance for him to set all his affairs in order with the Council none the wiser. Jenza has been hinting for years that with their father gone there could be a place for him on Serreno. Their brother is certainly making a mess of it currently.
There's no denying that he's grown tired of the Council's scheming and politicking that saw Mace Windu promoted to a Council seat before him.
Perhaps he may even be able to do some good once he slips the Senate's leash on the Jedi.
He's sorting through his personal library, deciding on which book he should pass on to Jocasta for her collection and those that he will keep for himself when the message comes.
It takes him a moment to realize that his communicator is going off, a series of strident rings. He's of a mind to ignore it -- commiserations on the loss of Komari have been pouring in non-stop, to the point where he'd actually silenced the Sith-cursed instrument just to get some peace...
Except... there were very few who had permission to override his silencing of the damned thing... and none would do so without a good reason.
He digs through the stacks of books to retrieve the obnoxious little device with an aggrieved sigh.
The message is short:
.bandomeer.
.obiwan kenobi.
.the boy must be trained.
The brevity and lack of capitalization meant that it could only be Qui-Gon. Some excuse about the keys being too small for his fingers, if he recalls correctly.
How interesting that Qui-Gon should reach out to him now, after a decade of strenuously avoiding him without an explanation ever given.
Stranger still that Qui-Gon would recommend to him some initiate washout who'd wound up in one of the "Jedi" Corps... Qui-Gon knew how he'd felt about the Corps, Stars knew they'd had enough "debates" on their utility to the Order back when Qui-Gon was his padawan.
It's a week or so out to Bandomeer, to go and gawk at Qui-Gon's newest pathetic lifeform and try and figure out what about the child had enchanted his former padawan so.
What does a delay of two weeks really matter in comparison to leaving the place that has been his home for over 60 years?
***///***
The limited space aboard the ship means that there really is no escaping Kenobi -- they're sharing a berth space at the Queen's command, along with Anakin, although he suspected there was enough space among the ship crew's quarters for *one* of them to bunk down there instead...
He's careful to never leave Anakin alone with the man, even though he knows that it's illogical. Kenobi did not see him at his best the last time they met all those years ago on Bandomeer, and he won't have the man dripping poison into the boy's ears.
Kenobi has been thankfully reserved at every strategy meeting, his attention mostly focussed on his own holopad where he jots down notes that he doesn't share. Qui-Gon would accuse him of shirking his duties, were it not for the occasional well-thought out suggestion that Kenobi offers when the silence grows too long between himself, the Queen, and Captain Panaka, as they desperately grasp for any semblance of a real plan to defeat the Trade Federation that isn't dependent on an outrageous amount of luck.
He'd sworn to himself that he would be civil to Kenobi as befits a Jedi Master, but after four days his patience with his unwanted companion has grown as thin as a Tooka's whisker. Especially the last two nights when Kenobi has taken up with the Queen's handmaidens after dinner in the mess hall until late into the night. The mess unfortunately shares a wall with their berth, and he can hear their raucous games of sabacc, what he's pretty sure are poetry readings, and occasionally Kenobi's lilting voice singing lover's ballads --
Speak of the Sith and he shall appear.
Qui-Gon groans internally as the door slides open to reveal Kenobi performing the sort of overcomplicated bow down the hallway that would not look out of place in one of those Alderani "historical" holodramas.
"Good night, fairest ladies," Kenobi calls out -- and Force, Qui-Gon thought Rael was bad!
There's a flurry of giggles, before a chorus of "Goodnight, Ser Kenobi"s comes from the handmaidens.
He's mollified to note that Kenobi's garments are undisturbed, the folds still crisp. Not that anything too untoward could have happened in a place as public as the mess hall.
Tonight it seems the handmaidens have elected to play with Kenobi's hair, arranging it in a braid that encircles his head like a crown. Kenobi's hair is still too short to do a proper version of the style, and short pieces hair stand out from his head. The handmaidens have covered these in some sort of wax that makes them curl up sharply at the tips.
Kenobi looks like a sun-bleached Zabrak.
"Good evening, Master Jinn," Kenobi takes a seat on the bunk opposite of Qui-Gon's, and begins to undo the braid, held in place with what is revealed to be an alarming number of pins.
"Kenobi," he replies, but it comes out sounding hostile so he adds, "You seem to have been having fun."
Force, that came out even worse.
Kenobi lets out a vague hum in response, running his fingers along his scalp to break up the last of the braid.
"Rabé was eager to experiment. Apparently Stewjoni hair is supposed to be more naturally inclined to sculptural styles than their own, and Eritaé and Sabé decided to join in."
"Not Padmé, then?" He's glad that not everyone seems to have fallen for "Ser" Kenobi's charms.
"No, I rather imagine the Queen has other things on her mind than pantomiming Courtly Love."
Kenobi reveals the Queen's identity so casually that Qui-Gon barely resists the urge to suck at his teeth - he can feel the ghostly cuffing of Master Dooku's palm on the back of his head every time he's tempted to.
My padawan will not act like a common farmer was the frequent rebuke.
Judging by the length of Kenobi's hair -- it's practically tradition for young Knights with hair to let it grow untamed for a time once they're no longer obligated to wear the traditional padawan cut -- Kenobi must have been knighted two to three years ago.
Qui-Gon thinks he may have received an invitation, but he'd been terribly busy with the mess in Ankorhajj that he absolutely couldn't tear himself away to attend something as frivolous as a lineage brother being knighted.
Then Master Dooku left the Order shortly afterwards and there hardly seemed a point in reconnecting with Kenobi at all. Their Master hadn't even deigned to leave a note.
"They're teenagers," He scolds, because while Qui-Gon's not unfamiliar with the concept of 'Courtly Love' in the Naboo sense, he's also aware how quickly attachments can form. Attachment has been the downfall of so many in their lineage...
"They're children preparing themselves to fight in a war," there's a flicker of what can only be described as an 'infinite sadness' in Kenobi's eyes, before the anger that Qui-Gon remembers most about Kenobi as a boy burns it away.
"The Naboo make a sport of Courtly Love. I'm already a lost cause by their rules, since my vows as a Jedi warn me away from developing the sort of jealousy required to even be capable of 'love' by their definition." Kenobi sighs and his anger cools, his gaze becoming distant.
"If pretending with them for a few hours every evening, however, keeps their minds off the horror that awaits them upon return to Naboo, then it's no hardship for me to entertain them."
Kenobi's expression becomes haughty and Qui-Gon is unpleasantly reminded of their mutual master. "It should comfort you to know that Captain Panaka has volunteered to act as their chaperone. He stopped looking ready to disembowel me after a couple hours last night and tonight started regaling us with the details of the courtship of his first wife. A romance worthy of a holodrama I believe was the consensus,"
Kenobi melodramatically collapses back into his bunk as if swooning.
This conversation is not going any place where Qui-Gon thought it would. He feels like he should apologize, but he's concerned that if he gives even a little that Kenobi will take a whole parsec. Their master certainly knew how to, and made certain to teach his padawans the skill.
"I should not have been so hasty in my judgement," Qui-Gon settles on. "I do not know you well enough to make such judgements about your character."
"And whose fault is that, brother," Kenobi replies with only the faintest hint of bitterness, as he sits back up and begins to remove his boots carefully.
They both sit in the uncomfortable silence that follows as Qui-Gon fights the urge to feel stung by Kenobi's accusation.
There was a grain of truth to it after all, at least from a certain point of view. Kenobi had messaged him multiple times in the early years of his padawanship, but there had always been something more important that needed Qui-Gon's attention immediately. Once Qui-Gon found the time to write a response months might have passed and he frequently found himself with nothing to say at all.
Eventually, Kenobi got the hint and the messages stopped.
Force, why couldn't Kenobi be satisfied that Qui-Gon had found him a master to make him into a knight and leave it at that?
Kenobi has moved on, placing his boots at the end of bunk, and standing as he begins removing his leather obi.
Kenobi pauses, staring into the dim red glow of the wall chronometer for a moment, before looking over his shoulder at Qui-Gon with an absolutely wicked look on his face.
"It's ten in the evening, Master Jinn, do you know where your padawan is?"
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shortnstoat · 4 months
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konfizry · 19 days
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no because you see actually the fact that zelos hates kratos' guts is by far my favorite aspect of zelos. like like the whole betrayal thing and whatnot, honestly, can't relate man, sorry about what happened to you i guess buddy but personally i dont care i just dont
but then back when i found out through finally playing his route + watching tof2 tls that the guy will diss kratos at any given occasion i was taken with renewed appreciation for him. its just too good. (and actually, there are signs of it even before that. like when you run into kratos in sybak and supposedly zelos doesnt know him at all but he still takes a moment to loudly go "omg fuck this guyyyyy" once kratos has left the scene and it's just ertghrteguhireg. zelos actually makes a couple more efforts to have lloyd trust kratos as little as possible. meanwhile theres that character skit in the flanoir area where kratos warns lloyd that there may be "someone in his group with ill intentions be careful no i won't elaborate bye" or whatever. all while k and z are presumably routinely in voice chat arguing over kratos' ridiculous grocery list. what a mess. both of them.) i unironically love it fr. i think it both makes perfect sense from a character perspective, and is hilarious. also it's nice to have one dude be openly hostile towards kratos. what can i say, i live for drama.
so anyway im glad we can all agree that the iselia ranch is a missed opportunity for an absolute train wreck of a skit that should have have happened but didnt.
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cerise-on-top · 2 months
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hey! i am once again requesting because i genuinely love your writing. is it cool if you write skittles with an s/o who has severe anxiety and often gets anxiety attacks? i completely understand if not! -💾
Hey there! Thank you, that's very kind of you! I hope I was able to do this request justice as well! I'm not really sure Skittles would know how to deal with someone like that in the best way possible, but he tries!
Skittles with an S/O with Severe Anxiety
He knows Nevada is a place where just about anything and everyone tries to kill you, but he never let that get to him. Still, he can see why you’d be anxious all the time about just about anything there is. Skittles is a rather relaxed kind of grunt, so he could usually be your voice of reason when your anxiety is telling you something bad again. Sure, things usually are bad in Nevada, but it helps to hear that not everything is going to be the worst case scenario. Sometimes you need a different outlook in life, and Skittles certainly has that. He’s well aware you always worry about him getting killed, or worse, but he can assure you that he’ll always come back to you. He has died a few times indeed, but he’s been brought back to life every time, so he sort of just assumes everything is going to be alright. If you’re too anxious about something, then he can do it either for you or with you, it really depends on what it is you need to do. If you ever pass out from fear, then he’ll stay by your side until you wake up again, draping a blanket over you so you don’t get cold. He doesn’t really know what to do with you, in all honesty, since grunts usually aren’t as severely anxious in Nevada, but he’ll stay by your side until you feel better. It’s the thought that counts. Even if you tell him to fuck off, chances are he’ll stay with you to make sure nothing even worse happens. You being irritated doesn’t bother him, he’s used to being insulted and around grunts who want him dead. However, as mentioned before, he will try to be your voice of reason. Sure, his views of the world aren’t as realistic either since he’s ever the optimist, but sometimes it’s just nice to hear someone’s voice. If you’re slowly starting to hyperventilate he’ll try to talk you out of it by telling you a story or two in order to distract you. It doesn’t eliminate the problem, he knows that, but if he can get your mind off of what’s bothering you for a second he can deal with the problem more easily.
Once he sees you freeze up entirely for a prolonged amount of time before storming off to somewhere where no one will see you, he knows something more severe than the usual is up. It’s during those few times, when he sees you act strangely, that his smile fades as well as he’s just that concerned. Skittles will give you a few moments by yourself before he ditches whoever he was with at the moment and seeks you out. Once he finds you, he’ll get you to a calm and quiet place where the both of you are alone. Skittles will ask you what’s wrong. He won’t judge you, even if you don’t know why you suddenly got an anxiety attack, all he knows is that you need help. He rarely ever sees anyone cry, so seeing you do such really does break his heart. Again, he’ll try to calm you down by calmly talking to you. Might put a hand on your back, but won’t repeat doing such if you flinch away from him. He’ll let you talk about whatever it is you need to get off your chest, or, if you can’t speak, then he’ll tell you about the butterflies he saw near a flower field and promises you to take you there someday. He’s well aware that you likely just need someone with you at that moment, even if he doesn’t know what to do. He hopes that him staying with you, distracting you, would be enough. However, he will shoo away any new grunts that might come along. This would be one of the few times where he might be rougher with them as well so they’ll go away. He won’t raise his voice, but he’ll make it known that you and him need to be alone right now. Will do anything to keep your mind off of what’s bothering you and get you away from any and all triggers you had in that moment. Since this seems to be a persistent problem for you, he’ll encourage you to seek out a medical professional. He knows someone, even if he might not be sure that person is actually a doctor, who might be able to help you. Since he can imagine living with anxiety all the time being very rough, he would not be opposed to having you be medicated for it. Will even go to all of your appointments with you if you need it.
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thompsborn · 4 months
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i know i’ve said that being able to do the stereotypical insane ao3 authors notes is fun and amusing to me but can the universe NOT take that as a challenge to add more shit to my list of things to add next time i post ???? like. fucking. Calm Down Please.
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griffworks · 4 months
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Sad day today
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seariii · 4 months
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"Dazzled" huh.... What a fitting word
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A tidbit idea: the War Over party was planned by Optimus, Megatron, and a small collection of vehicons. Oppy just said "we have a speech planned, we trust you to take care of the ither details."
So it was basically a vehicon party with a few surprise conjunxings in it. Which has some of the most beautiful implications.
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thethingything · 1 month
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well we accidentally fell asleep because of course we did 😒 but not quite enough to actually be a full night's sleep so I guess we'll probably nap later but I'm very torn between "oh god everything's terrible and I'm overwhelmed and feel like shit" and "okay time to work on our mental health again and get shit done and I'll probably feel better after doing like 3 basic self care tasks" but unfortunately I think about doing the tasks and I feel like screaming because accidentally waking up at your body's equivalent of midnight will do that to you
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running-in-the-dark · 4 months
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today was exhausting - my friend was here for about 7 hours and I just. oh man I love her and all but it's just a lot sometimes. it's probably for the best that we only meet up like 2-4 times a year now (gives me enough time to forget how draining it is so I look forward to it, and recover afterwards)
I don't talk to anyone but my husband most days, and he doesn't really talk. so that's maybe 15 minutes total of talking. and today it was literally. 7 hours. no breaks except when we were eating (but no even then someone was always talking).
first of all ouch, it hurts (my voice is very hoarse now). and also. it's so so so draining. like. we really have nothing in common at this point. but she's my oldest friend and I do love her so it's tolerable... but just barely. these days there's way too much diet/food/weight loss talk, and also she seems to be getting into alternative medicine which I cannot fucking stand (it's one topic where I can't pretend or be nice about it either). lots and lots of very preachy vegan stuff too (I don't have any problems with it, I admire people who can do it, but fuck dude you know I eat meat and that I've said many times that I *can't* go vegan (I would starve. there's not enough foods that would be left. seriously.) and it feels pretty shitty to keep going on about it every damn time. I'm not sitting there trying to convince her that she should really be an atheist or something, because I know what her thoughts are about that and I respect it.
when she hangs out with her other friends a lot it's mostly just talking about all the issues that come from that (they fucking suck). I don't know, it kind of feels like I'm her therapist. when I talk about something I'm interested in she doesn't ask many questions and it kind of sucks. like, dude I don't care about your plants either, but I'm interested because you care, so. maybe try that too. would be nice!
#like I know alllll about her other friends and their shitty behaviour#and just. it's exhausting#it's also exhausting telling her over and over again that she is too nice. yes being nice is good and all but she lets people walk all over#her and afterwards she goes 'oh well I guess it was probably just because [they had a bad day/other thing that happened/I said the wrong#thing]'. I do that too! but it's just EVERYTHING. always. even when someone is CLEARLY being shitty to her. like her shitty friends. she#will still excuse their behaviour#it just makes me sad man.#buuut#like come on maybe let me talk about my stupid tv show for 5 minutes and try to seem a little interested? I know it's irrelevant I know no#one cares but damn you really can't pretend?? I've mentioned it before a couple times on the phone and she's always just vaguely like 'ah#that sounds interesting' WHEN I HAVEN'T EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IT'S ABOUT. but she doesn't ask what it's about so. I just stop#talking about it and we change topics.#like. yeah I know it's a bit weird that I'm in my 30s and that is one of the most important things in my life rn but. that's how I am. it's#always been that way. and my other friends care (or at least pretend to because they care about *me*)#so it feels pretty shitty!#like if I can look at 15 pictures of how big her fucking plants and herbs are getting. idk maybe ask one question about my show.#or like. even things like our new apartment and stuff. she listened and everything. but it's just. there's no interest there really. just#live 'oh that's nice :)' and we move on to the next topic again#idk man it makes me a bit sad (and I know it's ironic because I say she needs to acknowledge that people don't treat her well but. I mean I#do know this isn't great. and I limit my communication with her to a level that doesn't feel too exhausting. so. idk I feel like it's#different or whatever. buut really I just don't have many friends and I get lonely and it's better to listen to someone talk about#themselves all the time than not talking at all)#okay I'm gonna shut up now#and anyway I'm just exhausted and it's all very fresh rn and I'm incredibly tired so I'm very grumpy. usually it's really not that bad.#I just needed to vent I guess#okay bye and goodnight and I will stop talking now I swear#personal
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skinreflectsthesun · 1 year
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mrfoox · 6 months
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"I'm in my slut era"
I whisper as I decide to go to an guy's house I first met yesterday, at 6pm on a work day
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