hold on. Was suck him good and hard through his jorts supposed to conjour the image of someone who has an unzipped fly because this entire time I've been imagining someone slurping on wet denim

in hindsight maybe having my ocs name as my url wasn't the best choice bc i am a fool who has to double take everytime someone calls me twitchery

but i am too stubborn to change my url (at least til i find a better one) so i will continue regardless 😌

Really starting to sink in that getting better at drawing something new is less about being able to do so without making mistakes and more so about being able to correctly identify and fix those mistakes.

about 🦋 (redacted)

Was anyone going to tell me those recent releases were part of a DELUXE album, or was i just supposed to find that myself?? Because they are not all on their official YT but it's clearly there on YT Music.

WIP Snip

still working so hard on getting this finished, still slow as fuck and feeling a bit ashamed of it but i know that's just bad brain thinking. had a bit of good writing news this week too though so it's not all bad. Here's a snip from my multiverse fic where Voldemort didn't die and there's a war raging on, Wolfstar live and they raised Harry, and Draco has just rejoined the Order after seven years abroad in France. Here's a scene with good dad Sirius.

“This—“ Sirius said, waving his hands at Harry “—is what I’m talking about. One of the many things I love about you is that you just say things like this, and you mean them.” He put his warm hand on Harry’s chest. “I sometimes wonder how you've managed to stay so kind, after all you’ve been through. Your parents would love you so much, you know.” “Well,” Harry muttered, voice brusque to hide the tightness in his throat, “they’d have to really, wouldn’t they? Being my parents, and all.” “They’d love you as their son, no matter what, of course. But I mean that they’d love you as a person in your own right, Harry. You’ve grown into a man that anyone would be proud to follow.” Harry put his own hand up to grope for Sirius’s, still resting over his heart, grateful for the darkness. “You’re not following me, though. You’re with me—you, and Moony, and Ron, and Hermione, and everyone. We’re all together in this. We do this side-by-side, it’s why it works. I’m not some big leader like Voldemort set out to be. I’m just the guy who happens to be the one who has to kill him. Everything else is a team effort.” “Oh, Harry,” Sirius said, and then Harry found himself wrapped up in Sirius’s arms, face full of all that fine, silky hair, savouring the warm solid familiar feel of him for a lovely moment, before Sirius let him go again. “Now do you see why we don’t want to let you go off somewhere with Malfoy? We need you.” Harry looked up at the house, at the long dark arm of the east wing, where he knew Malfoy’s bedroom was, a low light still burning as though Malfoy wasn’t expecting to sleep any time soon. He couldn’t tell Sirius that Malfoy needed him, because Malfoy needing him was based on a secret that couldn’t be shared, even with the people Harry loved the most. It wasn’t his to tell. Instead, he reached out again until his hand met Sirius’s forearm, ropey with muscle, always so warm. “I love you, you know,” he said. High above them, at the lighted window, a shadow passed.

opened up to a guy today. :I big loss.

edit: I need to talk about it.

So we talked about literature, history, art history etc and as you may know, my thoughts are very convoluted, so I said I was curious about a guy in class and wanted to know what his mind is like, then added that I don't think he's an idiot etc (it could've been interpreted that way) and went ahead to explain how people oftentimes think I'm a certain type of person (conservative) because of how I look etc. To set the scene. Basically, I was explaining how I come across a certain way that's not true. I forgot how he got to that point but out of the blue (?) he was like "Where did you learn your posture" and said I stick out not only because of the way I dress but also because I always sit up very straight (he's a performer, so he said he noticed immediately). So I told him WAY too much about me. And now looking back I regret it because like. :I. He later said (regarding the age old "how tolerant should we be towards people who aren't tolerant?" question, spurred on by him telling me that being so concerned with people's possibly wrong opinions of oneself is narcisisstic (absolutely) and counter-democratic (doubting this one?) - he said it nicely and after much consideration but like, of course he's right) that he generally keeps his opinions to himself so like. what if he hates me.

I think I am faceblind [never had a diagnosis] and I cannot, for the life of me, tell David Burke and Edward Hardwicke apart. They are the same person, maybe also because I only know them as Watson(s).

Even if I put them right next to each other like here they look the same to me. :,( (Yes, the hair is a bit different and one has darker eyebrows, but apart from that - they - are - the - same.)

It took me almost the whole episode of The Empty House to realise why I felt so uneasy about Watson. :D If I concentrate now, I can see they have different mannerisms, but over all, it's a lost cause. :(

it really sucks when you know you could fix something soo easily if you just.. you know, had a functioning brain and all that

i genuinely feel so bad for my ex's gf though because she's out here posting on her insta that it's their 3 month anniversary but boyo is making me playlists with unrequited love songs and posts stuff about being nostalgic about when we were dating, keeps complimenting how i look, and literally yesterday was telling me he still has the sticker we stole from the library where we held hands and cuddled like. he's such an important friend to me but really i guess i will have to cut him off (again) bc i thought we were both over this but apparently not and it's just going to hurt a lot of people if i don't

✨

found something cool on the beach yesterday. I like to go for night-time walks to clear my head and get a look at the stars, and I'm lucky enough that there's a beach within walking distance (and that it's a pretty safe neighbourhood). so picture four in the morning, less than half a moon but bright for it, high-ish tide, and I've stepped down onto this pebbly seaweedy beach to nudge at what I assumed was a toy pumpkin.

it was reddish orange, about the right size. something odd about the shape though.

and it was metal. bowling-ball sized, with a hole clean through it (no sharp edges, it must have been shaped that way) and impressive scratches that had clearly been painted over. and it was light enough to lift as well as having probably washed up there, so, hollow.

I ended up staring at it for maybe five minutes trying to decide whether to move it, where to (tripping hazard), and whether I wanted to keep it. "things salvaged from ships" is an entire genre of decoration here (pubs are one of the biggest offenders) ((I fucking love it)) and it could look pretty cool with... a rope through it? some sort of knot? a doorstop or a garden decoration?

(to be honest it appealed to my sense of humour that what I normally take home from beaches is stones with holes through them. we get a lot of them, and they're meant to be lucky. and they're easier to store when I'm still dithering over how to use 'em. they make nice gifts sometimes.)

I didn't keep it. but the internet's a cool enough place sometimes that I could search "hollow metal ball washed up on beach" and get an answer - it's a trawler net weight, and I read elsewhere that they do come in different sizes.

and wreck and salvage law is apparently this whole messy thing that may or may not apply - technically yes, but this is probably way too small to bother with, which I think might be an actual legal thing - so if I find one again...

it's not like this happens often, anyway. and I'm just delighted to have been surprised.

recently I've noticed that I clench my jaw a lot at work and I've noticed this because obviously while doing that I also grind my teeth and I do not Want to grind my teeth as I don't want to damage them

idk when or why this started but like an hour ago at register. I realised. what was up with that. because I got so fucking mad that I clenched my jaw but while at the same time trying not to grind my teeth and it's the exact same motion I used to do when I was a young teenager. like 13/14. because back then I used to bite my hands when I got too fucking mad/overwhelmed. (I was also That Kid that would punch walls lmao)

now I know that was a kind of self harm and I find it oddly hilarious that I've been having this urge for the first time in years,,,,, because of this fucking job

get yourself a job that will make you want to self harm 😩❤️

Funny how I'm still able to believe I'll be above something only to simply, inexorably, be human, once again

"I hate that he is making Freud win" is a rather bold statement about a character whose every other sentence makes me go "Haha he's just like me for real. he's having a me moment.".

david cain goes out of his mind looking for cass' training tapes, says it's the only thing he has left (besides drinking), he reminds himself not to kill because it's gotham and you're like why the hell would he be scared of bruce?? for a second and then you realise it's because of cass, he runs into her and begs her to let him keep the tapes and she does and he even apologises and this is all in just one issue of bg and there and everywhere they make it so so clear that he does love her very much but it's not going to change anything he still shot bullets at a tiny child and trained her to be nothing more than a weapon and he loves her so much but still

Been reading a bunch of thrillers recently and what if cm fic with Penny as the main character just experiencing as much of that as my angst adverse heart can take? More on this when my brain allows it