#And I’m just kinda a mess rn
Text
Yknow what, I might as well see what happens
Gonna do the notes game, just gonna see what happens I dunno (I have a lot of stuff I need to do and no motivation so I’ll use the internet to force me to)
25 notes - I’ll finish reading Good Omens
50 notes - I’ll finish pulp musicals (I started it and got distracted, came back an hour later so damn confused I HAD MY EARBUDS IN AND EVERYTHING)
100 notes - I’ll draw more (both traditionally and digitally, I want to improve)
150 notes - I’ll continue writing a coffee shop au I started last October and never finished (it was like 75 pages and I just stopped :()
200 notes - I’ll listen to Starry
250 notes - I’ll try to get at least a 70% in Spanish this quarter
300 notes - I’ll clean my room
350 notes - I’ll work on eating healthier
500 notes - I’ll spend more time with my friends outside of school
750 notes - I’ll finish listening to all the musicals on my musical watch list (there are so many of them…)
1000 notes - I’ll get back to doing taekwondo
1500 notes - I’ll take a walk every day
2000 notes - I’ll spend more time with my family
2500 notes - I’ll rewrite my really bad Xehaqus fic from 2 years ago and try my hardest not to just delete all of it (I’d be rewriting 183 pages, I dunno I wanna see how I’d write it now without changing the entire plot)
3000 notes - I’ll actually start to study for school and not just wing it
4000 notes - I’ll stop being such an asshole to my parents Jesus Christ how do they deal with me
5000 notes - I’ll come out to my mom as trans
Try and reach the goal before uhhhhh I dunno April 16th
I may add more later, depends on how fast yall go through the goals, I have a lot of things I need to do (mainly because I need to start caring about my health and how I treat other people). I dunno, let’s see how this goes
Edit kinda did the “come out to my mom” thing soooooo idk I’ll figure something out for 5000 (maybe)
#note game#Yall im so bored#And I need motivation#And also I need to start being like… a decent person#Idk man#I probably shouldn’t be needed to do some of these things but also peer pressure is a wonderful thing#And I’m just kinda a mess rn#Hopefully 4th quarter for school goes well#Fingers crossed?
151 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think it would be cute if mob and tsubomis relationship lent itself to her finally getting in touch with her feelings and desires too. masking less, expressing herself more.
also for your tsubomi expressing herself consideration;
#mp100#tsubomi takane#kageyama shigeo#takenaka momozo#sorry these doodles are kinda ugly lol#i’m just messing around rn
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sweaty gym selfie after a long day
#me#gym#gay#lgbt#gay selfie#I started carrying the cross body and it’s actually like so nice#to the gym I mean#I’ve always carried it around#it’s just so convenient for carrying all my stuff#my body is actually kinda messed up rn :/ but I’m working on figuring out what’s goin on
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
itty bitty mariiiii
#.jpg#qsmp#elmariana#i’m messing with art style stuff once again and i thought this was cute#basically trying thin lineart and like#simplifying stuff#i feel like. it may be a little obvious who a main inspo is rn. but don’t worry about it#i’m just trying stuff i’m just trying stuff#kinda trying to draw in a way that feels more natural? because a lot of the time i like#try to force stuff to be Correct to the point where it’s less fun#and i’m just having fuuuun here#idk man consistency is my enemy i’m just doing whatever
120 notes
·
View notes
Text
honestly I’m just curious how an art post will do on Tumblr in 2023
(older art lol sorry)
#my art#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#amity blight#luz x amity#I’m just using the auto pop tags rn is this what ppl do now or#I’m like just what site to use for dumping shit now it’s kinda a mess
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Was on the fence abt adding “it was an arranged marriage” to the bg of my ex fiancé jing yuan series that none of you will see for another two months when I finally manage to finish this svarog fic and then mao mentions arranged marriage w him and now I simply have to do it
#JENFKNE if I can throw it in somewhere I will tbh but it adds a rlly interesting layer to things#in this story specifically#like. ur his. u were promised to him. even if ur running loose rn he’s the one who put the slack on the leash#(that’s how you see it anyway. meanwhile he’s just suffering bc he wants you back)#it’s interesting!!! and I think also adds to how much the relationship messed w the reader#bc I’m sure it’d be far harder to break an arranged betrothal#so there’s an added desperation there to go through the societal & familial pushback#AND the family dynamics (w her family being very pushy abt taking him back & her little sibling being the only one who supports her)#make slightly more sense#thinking thinking#also it’d be a diff plot from how I usually do it bc usually I do a ‘mutual pining bc they both think they’re overstepping’ kinda thing#but I don’t think Jing Yuan would care abt that LMFAOOOOO and they’re like. childhood sweethearts in my head#maybe the arrangement was made when they were rlly young and he’s always been head-over-heels and greedy abt it#or maybe it was made when they were older and he had a thing for her beforehand…….. idk! I’ll think on it
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
honestly. on one hand. i really really really like the version of peter pan from once upon a time, in the way that the actor does a phenomenal job, the character has great dialogue and is just overall really really enjoyable to watch imo. but then i remember how he kept wendy in a cage for like 300 years and like
i stan him but that is so. AGSJDHJDHDJ. like i feel SO BAD for wendy there. this poor girl honestlyyy. like. that’s so disturbing honestly. like i can’t imagine much things that would mess with someone’s psyche more than that. like if he had just kept her on the island then fine, but constantly in that tiny hanging cage??? big OOF.
like i’m sure she’d need like permanent therapy afterwards and even then how would you even begin to unpack that in therapy???? like??????
#like pan ily but was that necessary?????#the worst part abt liking villains is when they do stuff like that ahdkndkfnfkf#(that part is a joke. just to be clear)#like idk he’s so cool but that makes me side eye him anyway. also cuz like? what was that like?? like was she just kinda there or did he/the#lost boys actually interact with her? on a regular basis i mean. other than giving her like food and whatever. and like if yes. then how did#they interact? was it taunting her? more civil? maybe with some of the lost boys even friendly? or just plain threatening??#like there are things that are way more outright and obviously cruel but this is like probably the worst thing he’s done bc its so prolonged#like abandoning rumple was bad already. but he couldn’t have known that that pain would last for hundreds of years instead of a few decades#and the thing with killian’s brother liam was also not great (i don’t remember the details of that scene so idk rn if he told them about how#the water works exactly or not so idk if he was being a total bitch or if they just didn’t listen) but either way liam’s pain was also not#that long yk? like he died and that was that. sure- killian’s grief was v v long but idk if i’m counting that bc he’s not the one that was#directly hurt yk? anyway yeah. AND THEN THE THING W WENDY. like taking her as a hostage is one thing but doing that for iirc THREE fucking#centuries in such a tiny ass uncomfortable looking cage???????? that’s ridiculous#like i can’t even fathom how much her psyche would be messed up by that irl#moi#fandoms#ouat peter pan#ouat wendy darling#peter pan ouat#wendy darling ouat#once upon a time#ouat#hajshdifjjdjd#sorry for the rant but it was fun and will happen again <3
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
Me currently rereading all of touch starved so I can mentally prepare for the horrors—
As you should
#I’ll probably finish writing it this week#if not for school it’d be done today#I’m honestly thinking abt trying to stay home just to finish this since all my classes rn r kinda useless#like Ik everything in lit#bio rant gonna be useful in the real world and the teacher kinda sucks#I finished everything in engineering (a class that I didn’t wanna take in the first place… my schedule got messed up)#and Latin kinda suck rn cuz if the ppl in it#but Ik I can’t convince my mom to let me stay home just to write so yknow#fuck school#rick and morty#morty smith#evil morty#rick sanchez#idk what else to tag
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hmmmm full of Thinkin bout sweets sillies this weekend <3
#Thinkin bout how she goes ‘spiritually I’m kicking my feet rn :3’ including when he’s unplugged and technically entirely capable but he#forgets sometimes. and also due to doc kind of messed up some of that nerve communication in there sometimes he says it while kicking his#feet not realizing. and if u point it out she gets sososo excited about it she’s like then that’s just more feet kicks!!!#do u even KNOW that she will full on wheezing sob if a stranger animal is friendly upon meeting. if u say yeah my dog isn’t usually friendly#and then ur dog lets him pet them then he’s fighting tears SO hard and it’s NOT working there’s a very real chance of crying startling your#animal. sweets hs a lot of feelings and um. man…#man is sweets like kinda very touch starved?#like um. grew up with Hazardous amounts of zips and zaps in em. exploded a lil bit. and now spends most of the time actively having power#drained away to make him less dangerous.#I think sweets beyond the whole fatigue is Hesitant to go out without his chair bc she’s like. um this is kind of my safeguard I’m powering#this thing. but like u give sweets a hug. a good strong hug that he can feel well. and um. ur not getting out of that without at least a#couple tears.#man…. sweets love language touch but soso scared to indulge in contact….. agh………#sweets solace#my darling blorbo of my heart this weekend it seems
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
from @Canucks official twitter:
Meet Ryp!
To us, the name Ryp represents the ultimate teammate. Ryp is courageous, kind, determined and supportive.
We know he will make a tremendous impact on the life of his new teammate following his training.
Learn more about Ryp. | [link]
[image description: photo of a yellow lab puppy sitting and looking forward. the photo is framed in a blue border with the canucks orca logo and the white text “CANUCKS PUP”. over the photo of the puppy is the blue text “INTRODUCING RYP” and a green dog footprint image. end description.]
the canucks have officially announced their team dog for this season, who is in training through BC Guide Dogs to become a service dog. the canucks organization has actually sponsored Ryp’s entire litter, who have all received canucks & hockey related names.
[image description: photo of 6 golden lab puppies sitting on and in front of a white backdrop. each puppy has a name labeled underneath them in blue text. their names are: Ryp, Rookie, Gino, Hattie, Jersey, and Hank. end description.]
in particular, Ryp is named after former canuck Rick Rypien, Gino is named after former canuck Gino Odjick, and Hank is named after former canuck Henrik Sedin. please feel free to check my rick rypien tag to learn more in particular about the importance of ryp to the canucks organization.
#this is part of why i’m just like really emotional rn#as i mentioned in my post about beezer & jack & the adr surgery#it’s kinda impossible to avoid how much ryp means to me if you check my tags. he’s quite literally why i’m around here or at all.#i just. this is a corporation there is evil in the machine. but the people in it refuse to let rick be forgotten and that matters#oof crying all over the dash and the tl and the dms and the gcs hah i am A Mess. glad i’m alive to be a mess tho#vancouver canucks#rick rypien#gino odjick#henrik sedin#aily talks#op#ryp canuck
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Maybe I should attempt to fill my head with softer things for a little while to see if it helps me avoid nightmares.
#this is like every night#i wanna sleep peacefully#i do think about dark things a lot#even if some of it isn’t the typical sort of dark#maybe it’s just a lot to take in at once#and i did watch a kinda scary movie last night when i couldn’t sleep#maybe the more debatable things about whether they are truly dark are still messing with me because they involve highly intense emotions#also i know there’s something i’m feel really sad about something rn#and dealing with a little bit of trauma in the background as well#maybe i just need to push through this but we’ll see#cw vent#cw nightmares
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is definitely gonna come out as word vomit but bear with me I’m trying to organize my thoughts via writing LNEKFJF
I have like two separate ideas for my version of Vanny that I want to try to combine? one is more motive-focused and the other is more action-focused if that makes sense
I’m thinking that maybe she’s been interested in Fazbear Entertainment for a very long time, specifically the animatronics, and wants to be part of the tech team. that’s why she became a beta tester—as a sort of stepping stone to get her up in the ranks to actually work with the animatronics. however, when she was trying to get any position related to the animatronics, she instead got placed as a security guard. she’s relatively pissed off about this but not enough to do anything about it. at first. William began contacting her during beta testing and can sense her frustration and starts feeding into her anger, attempting to make her feel like the company is out to get her and is treating her very unfairly by denying her the positions she wants. this makes her more and more vengeful and angry, feeling as though she has a right to work how she wants and that they just don’t like her. William tries to convince her that if she can bring him to life somehow, he can help her.
this is where the second idea comes in mind—Vanny has to BUILD him a body, Frankenstein-style. this is why she starts killing kids, to try and build William as realistic of a body as possible for him in order to revive him and have him help her get what she wants. this kind of explains why his suit in game has organic parts despite the fact that the original Springtrap suit with his body inside is destroyed. GR Bonnie’s suit would basically work as a shell for the rest of the body parts to be placed in to help keep it al together. Vanny kinda becomes a mad scientist/doctor/whatever. this is where I’m partially torn bc to fit this I think it would be a fun idea if she was very interested in like. human anatomy and really fucked up experiments.
yeah so I’m having this debate about whether she should be someone studying technology which leads into the whole “I want this position and will do anything to get it” route OR she’s studying to be a doctor which leads into her interest in fucked up experiments and knowledge of human anatomy
#it’s a work in progress idea again this entire post is word vomit I’ll eventually clean up#writing this at literallt midnight (although I plan on rereading it in the morning)#I guess I could do something where she’s currently interested in tech but grew up on horror and a love for gore or something? dunno!#Vanny#Vanessa#fnaf#five nights at freddy’s#security breach#it’s the morning now and this is still quite a mess but I’m gonna keep it as is as w a few fixes#we can just kinda. build from here and treat this as a stepping stone bc I wanna put my all into this!#I feel like my brain is partially fried rn so my ideas aren’t clear
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#shiny speaks#I’ve been watching this show for the first time and posting abt it sometimes on my main this past month but I’ve kept the tag blocked#for like 3 years so I could watch it after TOH ended so I’m blind to 90% of the show going in#just finished true colors ❤️#I am a mess rn❤️#anyway why he kinda..#I can have 1 problematic villain f/o. as a treat#have I officially breached scalie territory?#ahaha you have a cool roar and you’re huge anyways get in the insect container
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I have decided I never want to work in a dentist office, i was already apprehensive because there would be lots of kids and lots of stranger’s teeth and I don’t really like either of those, but after listening to someone use a little drill FOR EIGHT HOURS TODAY I realize I would not survive a week around the noise
#sorenhoots#anyways I wanna quit my job 😭 it’s so overwhelming and stupid and they’re treating me like a goddamn newborn baby#not allowed to leave my tiny little area. now banned from having ANY non-work conversation with another employee?????#like that’s not an issue for me because I’m bad at small talk but I promise. employees need to be able to chat?? like#trust me! no one talks to be all day and it makes the work INTENSELY more soul-draining and depressing#and today there was a bell ringing constantly and a drill and the lights#and the more overwhelmed I got the LOUDER my register sounded with every BEEP#I stg they’re just a nightmare rn. it’s so funny because we had 3 people#who REALLY cared about their job but were autistic or adhd or trans or something#the first one quit ans everytbing went to hell forever. now a year later the second one quit#and they’re all like ‘thank goodness he’s gone! unrelated wow everything is a disorganized mess??? this is miserable’#and they’ve confined me to a register#so everything always a fucking mess and it would be kinda funny if I wasn’t trapped in the punchline with all of them
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some pictures of my dogs cause I’m upset
#messy explanation#I’ve just felt really blah for a few weeks#like the past week I’ve done fun things#we went to tour scad and got sushi#I kinda had fun but during I felt physically bad#headaches#other things#my room is a mess#I cant draw I’m just really dazed#everyone in my house is in a bad mood#apparently we’re having money troubles now#like I just feel uncomfortable and blech#I don’t feel good#physically or mentally#kinda just existing rn
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
will eating ice cream make me feel better ? no. will it help me achieve my goals ? no. will it make me stop being stressed overwhelmed burned out etc ? no. will it take the place of my missing friends ? no.
but here i am eating it.
#i’m so sad and messed up rn#jakdixoicospsieidnndkskakiaowwijebebdksksoslxkosa#help#dear girl send help#anyways so i’m kinda just spiraling and it’s COOL it’s CHILL#crying#strawberryscribbles#delete later
0 notes
