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#Also yes cats can write
realreulbbrband · 17 days
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Jellydots Headcanons
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we’re starting things off with jellydots because I don’t think I’ve made a proper post about them before? Which is a crime against humanity tbh so have a list of some headcanons about the cat wives.
🌻Before Jenny has to head off to her humans, she likes to leave Jellylorum a note around their den. Normally on a cushion or relatively easy to spot place. The notes are usually short and to the point, but always very sweet: "I may not see you everyday, but I love you everyday."
Jellylorum has kept every single note she's received from Jenny; she keeps them in an old needle box and on occasion, she'll re-read them. Particularly when Jenny's away for longer or sometimes with Jenny by her side. Her favorite one is the one Jenny made for her after a sleepover when they were kits. She drew a funny picture that was supposed to be the both of them but ended up looking scribblier than she liked.
🌻 Jelly *loves* spoiling Jenny whenever she can; she's a naturally crafty cat and tends to make little trinkets and decorations for Jenny when she finds the time to. They're usually knitted, but other times she likes to incorporate buttons and beads to make gifts. They usually ranged from collars made of beads to small knitted costumes for her very best mice.
🌻 Jenny finds comfort in resting her head on Jelly’s lap; it was a habit formed during their younger years. In those days, she would drift off effortlessly (typically on Jellylorum's back), and old habits would die hard. Jenny remains a deep and swift sleeper, a trait Jelly has grown accustomed to and doesn't mind one bit.
🌻 Jelly can’t hold a grudge for her life, so Jenny does for her, but only Grizabella gets to experience that. They were both hurt by her leaving, but it affected them very differently. Jenny grew resentful, and Jellylorum became more disappointed over time. It was a small point of tension between them, a topic they'd carefully avoided for the longest time. When they would address it, it was never to argue but more to mourn a longtime friend. They promised to never put each other through the same turmoil; after all, you only have so few lifelong friends. Jenny doesn't think Jelly would do anything of the sort and leave, but Jelly does worry sometimes that Jenny's visits to the junkyard will become more occasional with time.
🌻They've done the same Halloween costume for a couple of years now, not because they're uncreative but because the holiday genuinely slips their minds until it's a few days away. But they like to go as each other; Jelly puts on the Gumbie coat and Jenny wears the Griddlebone costume, and they have a laugh about it.
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🌻Jenny and Jelly do like taking strolls outside the junkyard; normally, they'd go to the park if they wanted a quieter space to relax and have a chat. Other times, they'll sit in the town's library; it's not very busy, and they go relatively unnoticed by the head librarian, or else she'd pet them and let them be, which was always a treat for the both of them. 
🌻 When they were young, they would constantly talk about having a den together, where it would be (though Jelly would always insist she'd want to be close to her father's den), how they'd decorate it, and just how happy they'd be if they could have sleepovers all the time. Ironically enough, the possibility of them having mates they'd move in with never came up in these discussions. They'd always intend to live together regardless, which they didn't notice as a clear sign until they were already mates. 
🌻 Jelly does admire how Jenny communicates with other species; it fascinates her deeply how far she's come with that. She remembers when they were so small, and Jenny would insist she could understand the mice. Jelly gave her the benefit of the doubt, while most of the others would dismiss it immediately. But one thing about Jenny's was that she was determined, and Jellylorum was shocked but pleasantly surprised when Jenny seemed to have properly trained the pesky mice in her humans' kitchen. Jenny would sometimes get the mice to deliver things to Jellylorum for her. <3
🌻 They can’t keep secrets from each other to save their lives; everything Jenny knows, Jelly knows, and vice versa. Jelly tries whenever the kittens or adults open up to her, but when the subject is particularly heavy, Jellylorum really can't help herself. She will wait it out; however, she's in no rush to spill.
🌻 Jelly is very ticklish, particularly around her chin and neck (like most domestic cats), but only Jenny knows about that. She does like to lightly brush against those areas with her tail just so she can hear Jellylorum chuckle. She'd normally shake her head right after, followed by an "Oh you" comment. 
🌻 Jennyanydots takes great joy in complimenting Jellylorum, especially observing her reactions. She frequently expresses how pretty and beautiful Jellylorum is, delighting in the way Jellylorum smiles and raises her eyebrows in response. Occasionally, when Jellylorum appears genuinely surprised, she'll inquire further about the compliment, seeking reassurance, to which Jennyanydots consistently reaffirms Jellylorum's beauty without hesitation.
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convoloutedinjoke · 1 year
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If Harry’s tragedy is that he can’t go on like this but he has to, Kim’s tragedy is that he doesn’t have to go on like this but he will.
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llokmacd · 1 year
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Hey I knew exactly what was gonna happen in episode 8 of TLOU and somehow was not prepared?? Like how did they make David more terrifying?
First of all: he was a teacher before this? Barf. “I’ve always had a violent heart” or whatever? Double barf. This man has done this countless times.
When he hit that girl and sat and ate right in front of them I knew in my gut he was going to be worse than in the game. Obviously the show doesn’t have to move on so you can play. The whole thing is meant to be observed. So they can flesh stuff out. But oh my god
And then AND THEN DURING THE FIGHT?!??? BEFORE ELLIE KILLED HIM?!??!?!??? The screams were so realistic I started sobbing and dry heaving. I don’t care that I knew she’d be fine in the end. It scared me and reduced me back to my experiences and how horrible they were. And there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t press a button. I just had to watch. And when he said something about “the fight makes it better” or whatever? Extra barf I cannot
And the disassociation afterwards?!?!??? Like?!???!??? Correct. You don’t know what’s going on or if you’re safe and she’s still in shock and she did get to get her aggression out on him (since Joel didn’t come in like in the game) but oh my god the immediate defense mechanism?!???
Give Bella Ramsey all of the awards because they deserve it and also give me a Xanax because I had a panic attack and sat rocking back and forth sobbing on my couch for like 30-40 minutes
A lot of stuff was similar to the game too. “Tell them Ellie is the little girl who broke your fucking finger!” Always a classic. But this was definitely MORE than the game. Just as a warning
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revvethasmythh · 5 months
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like, I get why people don't like edgelord style characters and find them exhausting, i really do. but I was raised by a style of book that exclusively features edgelord protagonists that intentionally bars them from experiencing a single moment of dignity in their entire lives, and I think that explains why I love them, actually
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I had to jump on this soon as I seen the trend because it fits this story too well, it just takes me a minute to get artwork out. 😅 (Also click on them to get the best detail, they are big images) First sketching Eb out I laughed then felt bad because, well, getting accessorized is in a realm of possibility. >.>'
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One has zero concern, has been through this at least a dozen times and always manages to evade it. The other one is in a state of shock, has no idea what's going on or why he's here, and is one hard stare away from crying.
Someone bail him out and hug him please.
Also I referenced early Victorian mug shots for this for accuracy which is why it looks different. I found some dooseys. XD They had them hold chalk boards.
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ginnyweatherby · 8 months
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Thanks to THIS beautiful beautiful fanart by @transdemon , I was actually inspired to write a story for the first time in well over a year. 💕
Just a little Doofenshmirtz family fluff to rot your teeth today.
Word Count: about 1000
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A flash of lightning illuminated the curtain on the window just enough to catch Heinz's eye.
He always enjoyed thunderstorms, they were broody and foreboding, just like he pretended to be.
He snuggled deeper into his pillows as Charlene rolled over beside him, pulling the heavy quilt with her.  He hadn't shared a sleeping space with many people in his life, but she was certainly the biggest bed hog of them all.
He listened to his wife's even breathing as thunder continued to roll outside.  It sounded like it was coming closer.  It had been awhile since they'd had a good storm.
Just as he felt himself begin to drift off, a loud crack of thunder jolted him awake.  He felt Charlene jump as well.
Okay, that one got him.
It was only a second later before a new sound joined the cacophony of thunder, Charlene's snores, and his own pounding heart.
A high-pitched whining sound from the next room.  Vanessa.
Oh, his sweet baby.  She'd never taken well to storms.
Charlene shifted, her face still half buried in the pillow.  "I thought that might happen."
"I'll get her,"  Heinz said, already pulling himself from bed, swinging his legs over the edge.  "Go back to sleep."
"Just bring her in here,"  Charlene said, rubbing her eyes.  "She won't go back to sleep if it keeps up like-"
Another loud crack of thunder, and another shrill screech from Vanessa.
"-like that."
Heinz nodded, and made his way to Vanessa's nursery.
What greeted him was the sorriest, most pitiful little face he'd ever seen.  Big, wet, blue eyes stared at him over the bars of the crib, footie-pajama clad feet stamping in time with her screams.
"Shh, Vanessa, it's okay, it's okay!"  Heinz cooed, as he lifted the girl into his arms.  "It's just the rain."
Vanessa didn't look convinced, her little face screwed up in a deep frown as she kept up her screaming, causing Heinz's ears to ring.  For someone so tiny, she certainly had a decent set of lungs on her.
He stood in the middle of her room, holding her tight against his chest while he rocked in place, murmuring soft and comforting things he wasn't sure she even understood.
Nevertheless, it seemed to help, and Vanessa eventually quieted down.  She smushed her face into his shoulder, tears and snot moistening his shirt.
With a wince, Heinz grabbed a tissue and wiped her nose.  "That's my girl."
"Mumma."
Vanessa had only just begun using actual words, and to Charlene's amusement, "Mumma" had been the first (and so far favorite) one.
"Yes, yes, let's go find Mommy,"  Heinz hiked the baby higher on his hip, and together they found their way back to his bedroom.
"Mumma!"  Vanessa's face brightened as she caught sight of Charlene, who was now sitting up in bed, back against the headboard.
"Hi you,"  Charlene reached out, and Heinz placed Vanessa on the bed, who clamored over to her mother.  "You're supposed to be sleeping."
As if to prove her point, Vanessa let out a wide yawn.
Charlene chuckled, as she pulled the girl against herself, Vanessa nuzzling her face into her mother's cozy pajama top.
A flash of lightning lit up the room, giving Heinz just enough time to register what would come next: a crash of thunder loud enough to cause the cat to yelp and scurry under the bed, nearly knocking him over in the process.
Vanessa screamed, tears welling up in her eyes.  "Mumma!?"
"Shh,"  Charlene rubbed her back with one hand, as she reached into her bedside drawer and retrieved a pacifier with the other.
Heinz chuckled under his breath.  He swore she kept those within reach no matter where in the house you happened to be standing.
Vanessa accepted it gratefully, as she tugged on her mother's necklace, rubbing the pearls between her fingers.  It was a habit she tended to do when in need of additional comfort.
(Considering she rarely slept in her jewelry, Heinz had a feeling Charlene had put it on just now, anticipating Vanessa's need for it.)
After awhile, Charlene began to wriggle uncomfortably where she sat, letting out a grunt as she shifted against the wooden headboard.
Heinz took that as his cue to crawl into bed beside her, opening his arms.
Charlene accepted the offer, snuggling into his lap, while Vanessa laid comfortably across her chest.
"You know we joke how it never rains in Danville,"  Heinz said.  "But now I'm sort of glad it doesn't, poor thing would never get any rest."
Charlene hummed, and pressed a kiss into Vanessa's hair.  "She'll be alright, she'll grow out of it."
Vanessa sniffled.
"... Eventually."
Vanessa was quieter now, her sobs settling into soft whines, but her eyes were still wide and bright.
Heinz reached around and patted her back, tracing the sheep patterns on her sleeper.
"We got you, honey,"  Heinz murmured.  He pulled a blanket around the three of them, shielding Vanessa's view from the lightning flashes just outside the window.
They stayed like that for what felt like ages.  Heinz was starting to get a cramp in his leg from the awkward position, but he didn't dare move.  As long as his girls were comfortable, that was what he cared about.
Finally, the storm started to move away from them, each roll of thunder softer than the last.
Vanessa's eyelids were looking very heavy, and each blink seemed to require significant  effort.  She was so cute.
"Go to sleep, sweetie,"  Heinz muttered, pulling the blanket a little tighter around them.
"Mumma,"  Vanessa muttered.
"Yes, Mommy too."
As if on cue, he felt Charlene go completely lax against him, as she succumbed to sleep.  Heinz snorted as he bent down and kissed her forehead.
"Dadda?"
"Mmhm,"  Heinz hummed, a small smile on his lips from hearing her use his name.
That seemed to be all the answer Vanessa needed, as her own eyes finally drifted shut as well.
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burning-thistles-bt · 11 months
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SCREAMING CRYING KICKING
JUST READ ALDER'S SCENE FOR CHAPTER 168 AND I AM LOOSING IT
HOW DO I EVEN FOLLOW THAT UP
AAAAAUGHGHDFDJJD
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aphomic · 5 months
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@inareiko replied ; he truly does look miserable...can i have ten of him please? 🙏
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wovenstarlight · 1 year
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(on ao3)
Before Yoohyun even opens his door, Junhwan’s raising his head, ears flicking. Yoohyun eyes him; while he can’t hear anything himself, Junhwan’s ears are still sharper, so he trusts him—but whatever emotion his daemon is feeling, it isn’t alarm. If anything, it reads as pleased surprise.
Yoohyun opens the door to hyung’s laughter and understands immediately. His and Junhwan’s footsteps are cat-light as they enter their house, padding silently through the living room towards… Is the sound coming from the Horned Flame Lion’s enclosure? Yoohyun’s told hyung not to go in there unsupervised for a while! …But hearing him still laughing like that, he can’t be too angry. Not when the little beast has apparently managed to achieve what he hasn’t in the last two days. A curl of jealousy flares inside him, Junhwan’s lips pulling back to bare his teeth in the start of a growl as he presumably arrives at the same thought, but then there’s a soft, breathless giggle-snort from noona and that-
That makes them both very quiet.
They slow down as they get closer. Hyung isn’t immediately visible through the glass walls of the enclosure; Yoohyun dares to get closer, keeping to the side with some of the thicker foliage, and peers through the gaps.
Ah. There. Hyung’s lying on his side on the soft grass, the Lion perched on his hip and staring wide-eyed at… Noona, who’s up on a tree?
Yoohyun doesn’t understand. What’s so funny? He squints at the Lion, who’s doing… a grand total of precisely nothing. It’s just staring at noona and swishing its tail back and forth, the tip occasionally flicking over hyung’s side. Is it tickling him? But hyung isn’t ticklish, as far as he remembers… And even if he was, what’s noona laughing about? She’s halfway up one of the trees—Yoohyun takes a heart-stopping second to study it and make sure it’s not a Gillotinae, even though he knows objectively that she wouldn’t be stupid enough to get close to those—and peering down at hyung, wearing a silly smile.
She shifts as he watches, turning to jump across to another tree close by and scrambling up its branches. “Reckless,” Junhwan mumbles almost inaudibly, and Yoohyun agrees. There’s something almost childish about the fumbling, uncontrolled way in which she climbs. Like she’s not used to all her limbs being where they are. He remembers it from back when she’d first settled—for two weeks after that, Yoohyun and Junhwan had watched her jump off high spots and panic because she’d forgotten she couldn’t fly. (She was a cat, she’d always landed on her feet, of course, but that hadn’t stopped Junhwan from moving to catch her. Just in case.)
She’s climbing really high right now, actually. Yoohyun frowns as she clambers to the top of one particularly tall tree. Shouldn’t that be stretching their distance limit? Even if hyung’s Awakened now? She barely seems to notice, and the same goes for hyung, who continues lying there, watching her affectionately. Noona crawls out to the edge of the branch closest to hyung, peeks down at him, then hunches down and—
Her feet lift off the branch. Yoohyun and Junhwan lunge for the door. There’s rustling of cloth and grass and fur and creaking hinges and then—
And then, Yoohyun and Junhwan are staring at hyung lying on his back on the ground, noona pillowed safely on his chest and the Lion on his knees, all three of them staring back.
“Yoohyun-ah?” Hyung sits up, noona hopping up to his shoulders and winding around his neck. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Yoohyun blurts. It was only in case— “Nothing. Are you okay?”
“I… Yes…?”
“Okay.” Yoohyun nods quickly. “Good.”
There’s words at the tip of his tongue—be careful, didn’t that pull hurt, why are you in here when I said—but he never gets to say any of them, because noona narrows her eyes at Junhwan and says, “Well, in that case, let them talk, I-wanna-play-tag-you’re-it!” and flings herself at him.
Junhwan bolts entirely on 17 years’ worth of reflex, and noona chases him in circles around them, yowling when he goes too far from hyung for her to follow. Hyung snorts when Junhwan sheepishly approaches them again, only to dance away from noona’s batting paws.
“Oh, that’s no fair,” hyung wheezes, and coaxes the Lion off his knees before bracing his hands against the ground, pausing for a moment (…?), then rolling to his feet—no, foot, all his weight is on his left leg (??) for a split second before he relaxes, balanced once more. “Let’s give her a fighting chance, huh?” he says, and Yoohyun's eyes belatedly flick up from his leg to his face when he starts jogging after Junhwan. Noona gleefully gives chase with the new extension to her leash, and Yoohyun’s forced after them as they cross to the far end of the enclosure.
There’s a pleased smile on hyung’s face as he goes, childish glee in noona’s cackling as she runs, and Yoohyun watches them for a moment before deciding to drop it. He can bring up the question another time; it hardly seems fair to ruin their fun now.
He can't stop himself from smiling as he follows.
#star.txt#my writing#my sranks#sranks daemons#han yoojin#han yoohyun#dilemma: do i tag daemon names when they're inextricably attached to their humans and im tagging for those already.#anyway! i had the Leg Agonies yesterday and was possessed to write this#also had someone leave wailing and weeping and screaming and crying tags on the last daemons post so i was like. well i owe you reparations#so here! siblings play tag now that two of them can run again :D#first pass at this was shj pov but i realized hyj would never be so relaxed in front of shj unless this was set in 250s-ish at the earliest#and again. i owed you guys han bros getting sillay#....actually... was this sillay enough.... i fear i need to write more fluff#but yes. please join me and hyj in giggling at the sight of big scary tiger fleeing for his fucking life from tiny cat two handfuls big#i think haeun gets mean with tag. because junhwan is very hard to catch but if he tries to make it easy for her she gets mad#so he goes at full capacity and she keeps up by going crazy going stupid as a chaser#girl probably almost broke a tv once in trying to catch him#but yeah. she's very happy to be able to play with her baby brother again :-)#also i wont lie i find it kind of funny how its like#hyh: do my elder siblings hate me even now that we've reconciled... it'd make sense...#hjh: damn they hate me fr </3 [only not sobbing his eyes out because he is a tiger]#hyj: :-) wow it sure is nice to be back with my baby brothers / hhe: I WILL LOVE THEM AND SHOWER THEM IN KISSES AND PLAY WITH THEM AN#hyj: hey can you dial it back a little you're making us look desperate. / hhe: YEAH CUZ WE ARE? THEY DIED IN OUR ARMS / hyj: ok. fair. but
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toxicrevolver · 7 months
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers.❤️🍀
Oh damn I’m not a very happy person so I blanked for a few minutes.
1) music
2) creating? I don’t create often but when I do and it turns out how I want it makes me happy
3) cooking/baking
4) collecting thing I enjoy (funkos, music, etc…)
5) my cat (even tho he doesn’t live with me I still love when my sibling sends me pictures)
* Bonus 6) reading fanfic. It’s one of the only things I can do in my free time that doesn’t require brain power but it gives me all the emotions not just happy. Hence why it didn’t make the 5 cut. *
Imma be honest with you I’m not gonna send this to people but if anyone wants to participate they can blame me as the reason
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sirendeepity · 7 months
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Changing my phone wallpaper/cover is a nightmare because no I don't know what I want but I know I don't want that
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loadsofcats · 1 year
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Have a feeling that, if more of you read Riders of the purple sage by Zane Grey, you’d be going mad over Lassiter
#the puns with his surname would be insufferable it sometimes sneaks up on me#i love him very dearly#both him and jane#Jane for being exactly who she is; stubborn kind welcoming and seemingly dumb but actually quite clever#she has a ranch all to herself#and for lassiter…… his name is Jim. I was not expecting that#secondly he’s from texas and now i had to figure out how texans speak.#this one also sneaks up on me because i did not earlier have a) a realisation that texan accent Does Exist so i remembered that’s a thing#too and b) i did not ususally connect texan accent with cool people (sorry but i only ever heard it once in a blue moon from tv)#anyway I love him very much because in the first chapters he comes all like “Yes. The Black cowboy it is me. I am very dangerous.#Jane I will protect you and your friend.” and then he does and#Jane later invites him for dinner and the man just… dissolves into a puddle with heart eyes on it like “oh i… really miss#it is a-a-alright; you don’t have to invite me for dinner [insert that emotional crying cat] Lassiter can survive just fine”#He’s twirling his hat all that time in his hands like a nervous teenager#I mean he comes there all strong and brooding and whenever Jane speaks he just. Melts. Babygirl really#he goes to retrieve Jane’s cattle he loses his horse in the process!!!#and he still stays! Even when Jane tries so hard to deter him from killing who he came to kill hes like “oh well. Guess I’ll stay here unti#you… change your mind” and Jane’s like “I will not change my mind”. And he goes#“Oh well ill stay anyway you need help managing a farm on your own” and he just stays to “help”#i could write paragraphs about Jane as well but this is a Lassiter appreciation post <3#book#books#it talks#tag edition#riders of the purple sage#zane grey
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professorsta · 1 year
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Just because You see them as someone pathetic and needing of love doesn't mean that character isn't also toxic as shit because of their apathetic low self-esteem bullshit
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vaugarde · 1 year
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also speaking of the galar stuff in jn can i mention how silly it was that people got mad that goh caught eternatus. “he’s not experienced enough he’s only been a trainer for a short amount of time!!” a) he’s clearly pretty experienced at the capturing part by now and held his own in that battle well despite everything and b) cant you make that excuse for most protags
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years
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hiii! just wanted to pop into your asks to say thank you so much for always leaving such lovely comments on my artwork! i just love reading through the tags you write for them, it makes my day. please never change! 💓 i loved seeing the ideas you had for the devil!nico/jack drawing i posted, they were SO adorable ( OH and the demon squishmallow is named dante, like dante’s inferno )! again, thank you for being so sweet!
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no YOU thank you so much for creating such wonderful artwork!!! it’s an absolute joy to get to see it, i’m so glad you choose to share it with us 💕💕💕💕 thank you so so much and it makes me so happy to hear that you like my tags 🥺🥰☺️ ALSO!! that’s so cute 😭😭 i love that the devil squishmallow is named dante it’s alliteration and clever
#i can promise i will continue to be an enormous fan of you & your art#not even kidding!!! i can’t believe this!!! did you feel me working up the courage to talk to you!!!!#me about to come into your dms like ‘hi i just needed to say i literally HAVE NOT stopped thinking about your devil!nico i love him so much’#‘it’s been a week & yesterday i went ‘ok but nico’s pointed nails r like. natural stilettos they r PERFECT for nail polish :) demon spa day’#that’s cosmic FATE baybe 🥰🥰🥰 same brain same brain same brain (the brain is love & appreciation)#liv in the replies#anyway. guess who just looked up squishmallows & was like haha what if there’s a jack russell terrier one for jack and GUESS WHAT#there’s not but there IS a little black cat exclusive 500 edition squishmallow named jack who has the cutest little 😌 face &#‘can be a little feisty but he loves to cuddle’ i’m on the floor wheezing of all the squishmallows to be named jack. it’s a little black cat#(notably a *spooky* animal witch familiar which. jack summoned a demon) & it’s exclusive & has a pale pink nose/mouth he’s DELICATE & PRETTY#QUINN IS A KANGAROO I REPEAT QUINN IS A PEACH KANGAROO INTROVERT quinn eldest daughter kangaroo pouch thesis… macropods#luke is a little lamb 🥺 i would have said a puppy but he’s literally the baby the 8’’ version comes w/a rattle HE’S PART OF THE BABY SQUAD#have i devolved into looking up hockey players as squishmallows? YES BECAUSE THERE’S ONE NAMED JOELLE & IT’S BIGFOOT LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME#joelle is part of the sassy squad and i am slowly losing it because there is also a winter joelle AND an aus winter joelle#which is exclusive to australia & i did think about the line where joel goes ‘cool have you ever seen a koala’ to raff & wheeze laugh softly#laying my head down on my desk &weeping verbatim from the site connor the cow is at the finish line waiting 4u! connor is quite the athlete#plus serge(i) the skeleton bird… sid the snail… stevie the cactus… nathan gamer cat mackinnon… i’m having too much fun#i don’t NEED squishmallows but also the desire to buy dante just because of devil!nico has been slowly growing stronger#also me: but what if u reread the inferno so u can pick out a title for the fic u are(n’t) going to write & use that as the demon structure#oh editing also 2 say: if u didn’t want me to publish this i can take it down! i do Not know how to answer asks privately even after years
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bo0zey · 2 years
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everyday i wake up against my will n im lettin y’all know now that i’m abt 1 more waking up against my will day away from somehow someway making it god’s personal problem
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#blueface baby ayyy#i love my cat but sometimes i am annoyed bc if it wasn’t for his existence i would said sayanora Long ago lmao#i wanna d word i was not supposed to make it past 18 i’m so fucking angry#im not gonna amt to anything in life i’m so scared of it all so pathetic and weak#i’m too weak for this world someone else can have my place i was never supposed to be here anyways hahah i’m not good at anything#i have zero talents ive wasted 10 years of my life writing books and publishing nothing i live in my stupid dreamworld#i don’t know how to hold a conversation i don’t want to go outside i want to rot in my bed i am so sick of myself#also don’t come in my ask box on some wahwahwah stop self pitying crybaby grow up ok bc i’ve literally been telling myself that for years#if someone walked up to me rn n was like here have this euthanasia pill and i knew my cat would#be safe and happy w someone else then yes i would take it in a heartbeat lmao no water necessary !!#im a burden to my family a financial burden all i’m good for is putting more debt unto others how USELESS!!!!!!!!#i have no friends but it’s my fault bc i don’t talk to anyone back i just i can’t#i think subconsciously i’m trying to push everyone further and further away so when i die they aren’t hurt#i don’t want a funeral i don’t want anyone to grieve me i feel like a narcissist even assuming someone would grieve over me lol#i just want to be forgotten about i want everyone to keep living and doing well without me to get in their way#i’m just an obstacle in other ppls lives a hindrance a fucking troll without a riddle just hurtful mean words#i’ll write everyone apology notes#i have so much guilt inside me it’s filled my lungs and heart sometimes i can’t breathe if i think abt all the ppl i’ve hurt by being alive#god put me on this earth to teach ppl lessons abt avoiding ppl like me#fuck god i’m done being his puppet i’m done hurting ppl i’m gonna go away someday and no one will ever hurt again#why do i want to cry i’m so fucking self absorbed why the fuck am i sad abt myself#i think subconsciously there’s something in me that wishes to stay alive and be the positive impact on ppls lives like i always wanted#i always wanted to help ppl and make friends and include everyone and now i’m just so toxic i let younger me and everyone else down so bad#i feel like my mom hated me too right now i feel like she deserved a better prettier smarter funnier more selfless daughter#im ok everyone btw im just being dramatic n venting lol dw i’ll start writing in a journal instead of tags soon#shut up cianna
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