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dr3amofagame · 2 days

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thinking about c!dream earlier on in the server just makes me sad man. like, c!dream has never been a perfect character. he's always been flawed, always been a bit of an asshole, always had control issues. but also he knew that. he tried to work on that. he and tommy were friends, despite being flawed people with their own issues that would bump into conflicts because of the ways that they differed. c!dream tried, god, he tried; he wasn't even on the server, when the drug van happened, and walked into a place with someone who was practically a stranger to him building a wall and calling for war and having turned half the people dream knew against him, apparently, for no reason that he could've known at the time, and he had looked straight at tommy and tubbo and asked if that was what they really wanted when wilbur told them that there was no such thing as dual citizenship. he tells tommy when he has to sell a disc for spirit's leather even though tommy had surrendered the discs to him at the end of the revolution because he knows it'll matter to him. he and tommy truce, multiple times, and c!dream gets tangled into conflicts that literally don't involve him repeatedly and gets targeted Because He's Dream repeatedly and he plays along with that trivia contest and he gives gifts to fundy and tommy after terrorizing them a little for fun and he plays along with the dreamon thing and he keeps getting pulled into fights that weren't his but tries to make them a little more fair when they get him involved. he fucks around with tommy and they have fun, they're friends, and when he and wilbur look like they're in danger dream is one of the first to find them and lend them real, practical, valuable aid. he calls himself "Big D" in that book and he tells the man that wrote him as a tyrant that he doesn't want to be a villain in the story anymore. he asks tommy if he's okay, and watches that kid's back when he walks alone and unarmed into manberg, and fights with him at the battle of the lake and all of that is thrown back in his face as being a lie. half the intial community structures that exist were built by him; the community house, the nether portal and hub, the prime path. during a time where every other piece of leverage got burned or killed (rip the casualties of the pet war), dream was kind of known for being one that could be fairly traded with, that would minimize permanent damage. the kills in the final control room were originally to strip lmanburg of their gear, which he had kept in a chest so it could be returned to them after the war.

like no c!dream isn't perfect at the beginning of the server. yes he's kind of a jerk sometimes, kind of an asshole sometimes, kind of neurotic most of the time. but god dammit like c!dream does try to mitigate the worst of his control issues, when they flare up early on; the initial disc war ends with tommy getting his discs back as well as a stack of diamonds, in exchange for a netherite chestplate. he's a flawed character and he's still someone pretty friendly on the whole to most of the server, he's also kind of just known for being a little weird. he gives gifts randomly. he fixed creeper holes, and houses, and went along with bits. like whatever im a c!drolo c!dream woobifier and i admit it lol but for as much evil as he ends up doing, pretty damn consistently early on, he's . friendly? kind? funny? helpful? their neighbor. their friend. c!dream isn't just some stranger that flew off the handle; he's someone they knew and lived with who had his actions taken in bad faith because the goddamn story said so and kept fucking trying anyway until he believed the lie too. like he was just a guy!! a guy they knew and lived with!!! like my god

#this is not coherent but #alsjdfaks;jf;j #like maybe i sound deranged when i say this but he was literally just a good dude #not a perfect person definitely an asshole sometimes and how violence and such gets redefined when you look back #makes this all a bit messier considering people kind of killed each other a lot back then bc respawns meant nothing #but. he was literally like. like he was just a normal guy who actually tried pretty damn hard to be good to the people he cared about #and SPOILER ALERT !!! HE KIND OF CARED ABT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON THE SERVER AT THAT POINT

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knavesflames · 2 days

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I have this HC that Arlecchino cannot fucking cook, that she’s never bothered to learn, or just simply is not gifted in the kitchen😭 so have some Arlecchino that made me giggle. It’s very short and messy but I had to get it out of my drafts😭😭 ALSO THIS PICTURE MAKES ME SCREAM

Arlecchino trying to cook for you for your anniversary but failing miserably (arlie I love you but what the fuck is that signature dish). She’s so smart but so dumb sometimes, “it said a teaspoon of salt but they were in the dishwasher so I used a bowl instead”, or “it was pink so I kept cooking it and now it’s black????” While you try to keep your giggle in as you explain that it’s supposed to be pink. And how patient she is usually with other people, especially her children, but she uses her pyro when the potatoes aren’t finished when they’re ‘supposed’ to be, rendering them inedible. And of course, she doesn’t understand a thing, but she’s too proud to ask. So when you do finally get a dinner that tastes good, you can’t help but notice the two small cat shaped carrots, and a penguin shaped piece of chicken, a tiny indicator that it was in fact, not Arlecchino who made the dinner, but instead commanded the twins and Freminet to make it instead.

“You must make a dinner for two. Chicken, potatoes, the fancy kind, and those roasted carrots she loves. And for the love of the Tsaritsa, do not add seasonings. Salt and pepper is fine.”

“Why, Father?”

“Hush, Freminet. Father cannot cook.” Lyney gives Freminet a small kick.

“I did not tell you to question me. I can cook, I simply do not have the time.”

But everyone with a brain knows she can’t, that she’s a woman of many talents, but being in the kitchen is not one of them. Walking away only to have her cheeks flush as she hears the children snickering lovingly. Nobody says a word when she shows up to Fontaine’s cooking lessons the next month for fear of receiving her wrath, and when she finally presents you with a clumsy mess of a meal, and it actually tastes decent, you feel your heart swell.

“You’ve improved, Arlie.”

“Mm.” She grumbles, turning away to hide the small smile that grows on her face.

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freudyou · 1 day

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"Make it look like a freak lighting accident"

It’s been years since I’ve revisited Due South, but the @ds30below event sparked my interest again, and I decided to watch a few episodes with my bud @flownwrong to celebrate. We watched three episodes that stuck in my mind the most over the years after being absent from the show for so long: Bird in the Hand, Eclipse, and The Ladies’ Man, and I found all three to be a very rewarding rewatch, even though my memory of the rest of the series is a bit hazy.

Bird in the Hand:

When we started our mini marathon, I didn’t realize that this was the only ep of the three where Fraser’s dad plays a role, and I forgot how solid Pinsent was at pulling comic relief duty. The scene where he popped up demanding that Fraser murder Gerard immediately after Gerard was droning on about how Robert’s dogged nobility was his ultimate downfall had me rolling, as did the bit where he—probably correctly— asserted that Ray would shoot Gerard for him if Fraser really asked him to (aww). One thing in particular about his character that struck me while watching this episode were the moments where he actually interacted with the environment around him in a way that impacted people other than Fraser by implanting the idea to retreat in McFadden’s mind and having Gerard attempt to grab his hand while dangling in the air. In my memory, it was a lot more ambiguous whether Robert was actually a spirit or a figment of Fraser’s imagination, so that ended up being kind of a fun twist for me.

Since the other two episodes we watched were very Ray K centric, I’m glad we did one that had a focus on Fraser’s emotional state. The scene where he confronted Robert about stubbornly refusing help in life and said “I never loved anyone as much as I love you” while Robert was still trying to find ways to derail the conversation is a fan favorite for a reason; it’s a rare, intensely vulnerable moment for Fraser and I really enjoyed the way that Paul Gross pulled back from it a little. In another show with another character, it’s easy to imagine a scene like this being a more blatant, emotional showstopper, with the neglected son saying this in a fit of tearful anger that’s meant to make his father rear back in surprise. Instead, Paul Gross delivers the line in an understated way that’s almost more like puzzled frustration, as if Fraser is trying to piece something together about himself instead, which I thought was a really nice touch to the scene that made it feel very Fraser. I also love the cunning way that Fraser brought it back around just a few minutes later by weaponizing male emotional repression in order to freak out everyone else in the room and gain the upper hand (as well as have an opportunity to annoy Ghost Dad by calling him short) while also delivering some genuine truths: Gerard really did break his heart.

Last but certainly not least, I adore how Ray kept trying to take care of Fraser throughout the episode in his own grumpy, special way. Sure, trying to orchestrate some Fraser-on-Gerard police brutality didn’t end up being the most well received suggestion, but it’s sweet that he acted extra vengeful to make up for Fraser’s dutiful restraint. I also forgot that the “Mentally Deficient” sticker gag and the tape recorder conversation were both in this episode. The Bickering Married Couple vibes between them were always such a classic part of the show, so it was nice to see that on display.

Bird in the Hand really held up strongly against my fond memories of it, and I was a little surprised at how easy it was to slide back into this world and be immersed in it after being away for so long. Sometimes I guess you actually can go back home again.

#due south #ds30below #i will post my observations about Eclipse and The Ladies’ Man separately hopefully either tonight or tomorrow #but i had a blast watching all three #thanks alina!

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orcinus-veterinarius · 2 days

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So... it seems I accidentally deleted an ask rather than answering it. To whoever asked "is it okay to visit SeaWorld? Does the money go to giving the orcas good care?"... here is your answer!

The SeaWorld parks, as well as Busch Gardens, Discovery Cove, and a few others, are operated by the recently renamed United Parks and Entertainment, a for-profit theme park company. Like any other corporation, their first goal is to remain profitable. Obviously, a large portion of that goes to corporate leadership and shareholders. But that's far from unique to United, or theme parks in general. It's a byproduct of the greedy world we live in. If you're willing to buy a ticket to Disney or Six Flags, then buying a ticket to a SeaWorld or Busch Gardens is no more immoral.

According to the AZA, approximately 46% of their members are for-profit. And while AZA zoos certainly vary in quality (anywhere from "acceptable" to "exceptional" in my opinion), for-profit status does not cheapen or detract from the work they do. In fact, for-profit institutions often have more financial freedom for animal care and conservation efforts than their non-profit counterparts. Non-profit zoos and aquariums are wonderful places, but believe me when I say there's a startling amount of politics in every aspect of their management. Non-profit status does not automatically make a zoo better, and for-profit status does not automatically make a zoo worse.

Now... do SeaWorld ticket sales go toward giving their orcas (and other animals) good care? Yes.

While it's certainly simplistic for parks to claim, as they do, "just by buying a ticket today you're helping save animals in the wild!"... it's not exactly a lie. Being for-profit, SeaWorld doesn't ask for donations to fund park operations or outreach endeavours. That revenue is generated by selling tickets, merchandise, food, etc. The same goes for their wildlife rescue and rehab program, Rising Tide conservation program, Coral Rescue Center, and the SeaWorld-Busch Gardens Conservation Fund, as well as partner organizations like OCEARCH and the Hubbs-SeaWorld Research Institute.

Take ticket sales away, and they can't care for their animals, or continue to fund conservation projects. While I don't know the whole story of what exactly is going on with Marineland Antibes, it appears that the park is in a dire financial situation due to plummeting attendance, to the point that they can no longer maintain their killer whale habitat and are trying to offload their animals onto an Asian aquarium or, potentially, an as-of-yet non-existent third party sea pen. While certainly well-meaning, years of boycotts against Marineland ultimately put their animals in a position where they are not being properly cared for. And it would be horrifying if the same thing happened to SeaWorld. I don't think many people, in their fervor to punish the parks for their perceived misdeeds and save the animals, thought about what the reality of driving a zoological facility into financial ruin would look like.

Don't get me wrong, SeaWorld's shift toward promoting itself as a thrill park that also does conservation rather than a marine facility that happens to have roller coasters annoys me. I would have rather they built a separate, neighboring park for the rides, or at least integrated them into the existing park less obtrusively (Disney's Animal Kingdom, for example, seemlessly integrates the theme park and zoo elements, although they have the benefit of the incredibly talented Imagineering team behind them). But as tiresome as the constant roller coaster announcements are, they are what kept the company afloat financially in the years immediately following Blackfish, drawing in a crowd that previously had no interest in the parks, and for that I'm grateful. Thankfully, SeaWorld is in a better spot nowadays. But the only way to convince them that their animals, not their roller coasters, are what people want to see... is to visit and see the animals.

In short, yes, part of your SeaWorld ticket funds care for their orcas and their many admirable projects. Now if only more of it went to giving their staff better salaries.

#their staff make less money than a lot of other major theme parks #the animals have great care... the people uh...#not as much #seaworld #zoos #aquariums #conservation #answered asks #anonymous

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zappedbywho · 3 months

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#Diary #So here’s something I remember DEVASTING me for some #I was at the playground with my step sibling. and we were playing this game where we would swing and point out the smaller kids like ‘Thats #my kid’. Choosing babies basically and not much else. And this one girl was getting teased so we invited her over and she sat in my step #siblings’s lap while they swung. Well this girl chats like the 5 year old she was and I stumbled over my words or something and my step #sibling laughs at me hysterically. That hurt my feelings but I remember thinking that I wanted to be more thick skinned than I was when I #was the girl’s age so I just pushed it back and kept swinging. My step sibling had to #pee or something. so it was just me and this girl. I wasn’t as chatty as my sibling but when the girl slipped off the swing and couldn’t #Get back on. I asked her if she wanted me to help her get back on. and she was like ‘My mom doesn’t let me talk to strangers’#Of course this confused me. because we just met and I am also a child?#She looked. like. uncomfortable near me or something and I just felt so weird in my body #Cause like. I know I’m chubby and taller than other girls but am I really scary like an older boy?#My sibling was an average size and a little malnourished and I was already incredibly insecure about our differences #Like I was wearing knee shorts and a t shirt to swim in the lake and they were wearing a girl’s bikini lol #Then this little kid gets right back on their lap when they got back and I was like ‘😬’ trying not to cry and just walked away to sit by #myself. Now there’s a picture of my clueless father sitting next to me when I’m like ‘Oh ‘extremely high kid voice crack’ sure you can sit #next to me dad😃 Please drown Em in the lake for me because I hate them and that people like them better’ from behind.#This was a pretty regular experience for kids but I was a little off and even kids sense these things lol

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munch-mumbles · 1 month

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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!

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allofuswantgwinam · 4 months

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I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it

#barely #im learning to lean on the people that care about me #i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭#and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past #all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah #work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all #i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass #and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺#it was just so bad fr #and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today #but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao #it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now #a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad #im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help #im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now #that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣#also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised #that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣#funniest guy I know right there lmao #we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one #today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together #im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore #but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it #fully #for the first time in too long #last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it #fuck that guy so much #just realizing this was amazing wow #so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me #proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹

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morbid-bvnny · 11 months

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#mentions of su^cide this is a vent post so maybe don’t read #I woke up at 4am from a nightmare and haven’t been able to fall back asleep due to chronic overthinking and stress #it’s always early morning or late at night that my disorder starts fucking with me most #when I have literally no one to turn to #my head is so far under water that I have no idea what to do and it’s fucking tearing me apart #I’ve been struggling financially for about about a year and a half now and it just seems to get worse #no matter what I try to do to make it better #I’ve changed jobs I’ve worked multiple jobs I’ve asked for raises I’ve tried to get as much overtime as possible #but im literally killing myself every day just to barely be scraping by and it fucking so bad #im such a fucking failure in life I can’t do a single thing right and every door I open is a dead end #im starting to think that there’s nothing for me and there’s no place that I fit in #on top of financial stress I am struggling with a chart full of mental illnesses all of which I am unmediated for #you guess it^also financial. I cannot even afford to pay for my meds and I’ve been off them for the year and a half I’ve been struggling #this whole year and a half I made friends and I’ve lost them just as quickly #I literally crave connections with people but I have no idea how to even remotely communicate that to anyone #I can’t make friends I’m as uninteresting as it gets and I’m distant and communicating is a struggle for me #I want friends but I lack the understanding of what helps friendships grow #I feel so alone on a day to day basis it’s depressing and I’m at a point where I feel like I could k^ll myself and nobody would even notice #or care for that matter #I’ve noticed the things that kept me from committing are no longer things that hold me back #rather they’ve turned into reason to go through with it instead and the only thing keeping me alive is not having the means to do it #I think the world will be exactly as it is without me and I’ve made no real difference in anyone’s life for it to even stir up emotion #the world keeps moving #people will say oh that’s so sad when they hear about it #and they will move on as if nothing happened #the burdens I’ve brought on my family will be gone and ultimately they would be much better off without me here #I guess it’s only a matter of time at this point

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frankensteindotpdf · 1 year

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the way people keep reacting to that tweet about the person who got overwhelmed trying to figure out how to boil an egg bugs me so much

like. if you know how to do something it seems ridiculous sure but you also hold all kinds of knowledge you wouldnt even think to share! its second nature to you, of course you know how high to fill the pot of course you know whether to set it to high or low and how much salt “a pinch” is and whether you should fill the pot with cold water or hot water and and and

if youve never been taught and youre sent off to live on your own there are so many questions you can have that would have been solved by being able to watch someone but if youve never had that opportunity they stack up!! and if you compound that with other shit like executive function issues or low funds? if you dont have the energy or money to waste failing its a lot easier and less frustrating to just Not Try

is that the Right option? i mean no, you cant learn that way but jesus have a little sympathy tutorials Do Not tell you everything and if youre on your ninth google search trying to follow a tutorial on one “basic” task sometimes sticking to what you Do know is just the best youve got

#i speak #when i was learning to crochet all of my stuff kept turning out Wrong and i couldnt figure out why #until i asked my mom to show me how she did it #and i was inserting the hook in the wrong spot #but none of the tutorials thought to explain where to insert the hook #because it was second nature!!!#but it isnt if youve never seen someone do it #anyway. i think instead of calling people lazy or saying theyre weaponizing learned helplessness or whatever #we should be figuring out better alternatives #we need some good Basic Skills resources #also if youre having issues with this kind of thing youtube can be helpful #again!! i was WATCHING youtube videos and still didnt figure it out when trying to crochet #so its not going to be a perfect substitute for learning from observing someone #but if people act like THIS when someone expresses distress trying to learn something they dont know #then how the fuck are they supposed to feel comfortable asking air quotes dumb or obvious questions #ive had multiple people ask me fucking mind blowing questions when learning something #and i get that your impulse is to be like what the fuck why would you need to ask that #but you HAVE to fight that impulse if you want someone to actually learn #anyway everyone learn a little compassion thanks

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thebewilderer · 1 month

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i'm doing my office hours and we have little cubicles, so we can pretty much hear everything everyone else is saying

and there's this one kid that's in my friend's office hours right next to me and has been there for an hour

and he has been NONSTOP TALKING the WHOLE TIME about how he doesn't understand the material and how he doesn't know how to approach the problems and how he understands this one thing but not the rest of the things and how that's bad because he doesn't understand and -

like my guy. if you're asking a question to the person whose job it is to help you, you need to shut the fuck up long enough for him to be able to answer!!

the few times this idiot kid shut up long enough for my friend to actually start to say something to help him, he interrupted within literally one minute

my friend has not gotten to finish a single sentence. in an hour.

#his voice is honestly making me nauseous #what the fuck is it with men and just talking nonstop at people when they don't understand something #like specifically men #this friend does it too btw he's just outmatched by this idiot #the women i'm in classes with? if they even have the slightest doubt about something they just don't contribute at all #which is its own problem tbh but #VERY fucking indicative of the huge amounts of sexism in the stem fields #but oh my goddd these men need to learn to shut the FUCK up #i unfortunately work with one too #and if we're working on a problem #he'll just nonstop yap yap yap about it without actually saying anything #like i get he's trying to talk himself through the problem but. i am not here to be your fucking rubber ducky. do that shit quietly.#there's one (1) guy in my little cohort group of mathematicians who will actively stop himself when he finishes a sentence #(instead of adding on a 'because like' or 'what i dont understand is' or 'okay so')#and ask me what i think about the problem and his approach #ONE #and that's in my little group like that's not even these fucking kids i'm trying to teach #who somehow simultaneously think they need help and think they know better than me??#i did an exam review for them the other day #and one kid kept asking questions (good! i encourage that!) and then actually being quiet to listen to my answer (love it!!)#BUT this ONE OTHER GUY in the room #who was ALSO THERE FOR THE REVIEW TO HEAR ME GO OVER THINGS #he KEPT TRYING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS #like someone would ask ME a question (me the TA the PhD student the person hosting the review session) and HE would start answering it #and i'm just ??????#what the fuck is wrong with men in STEM fields #it's fucking insufferable #if you want a rubber ducky just BUY A FUCKING RUBBER DUCKY #i am here to do math not to be a pretty mannequin that you get to talk at all fucking day because you love the sound of your own voice #its so infuriating

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bigendershadowthehedghog · 9 months

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god why can't I have a normal conversation I can't do anything for two fucking minutes without something clicking deep in my brain that it decides it can't handle this even though it was FINE before I fucking hate myself and my body and my brain why can't I just keep composed for one second without becoming a train wreck at the smallest goddamn thing

#im sorry for making you guys read about my problems #i want to ask my mom to help but shes asleep and everytime i wake her up for anything at all she gets mad #god knows what she would be like if its something stupid like this #it never works when people try to help anyways im prsctically already dead #i couldve just had a good life if i just fucking kept it together but no i couldnt even do that #nothing works and the only options i havent tried are the things i cant do #i cant do drugs because damnit i saw what happened to my half sister when she was even involved with that #i cant smoke because it would fuck up my lungs and also id just be like my dad at that point #i cant take prescription pills because theyll do anything but even try to consider that #i have nothing i can do and all the healthy methods ive been taught are practically fucking impossible or just dont work #sure i can escape through fiction via writing but i fucking hate everything i write and the fact i write so goddamn much #when none of its worth it #and sure i can try and draw to make myself feel better but it doesnt work it doesnt make me feel anything at all other thn the feeling that #the fact i made a drawing it doesnt change my mood at all #sewing isnt relaxing because i end up just poking myself in the finger a thousand times and with some shitty fabric #thats barely held together #i am basically dead theres no changing it theres nothing i can do to fix myself or my life or how i feel #im just a walking corpse for people to talk to

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nope-body · 1 year

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#honestly just so tired of my roommate at this point #it feels like she doesn’t respect me as a person most of the time #she has made so many jokes at my expense and I’m tired of it #she doesn’t understand or try to understand me #she’s not kind or compassionate #she was on her phone while I was throwing up and I had to ask her for help to get her to even look at me #like if throwing up makes you uncomfortable I get it but like come on!#her apologies are never her actually recognizing that she hurt me and that was wrong #just an explanation of why she thought it was fine #and then a little sorry that it hurt you/you felt hurt kind of thing tacked on at the end #tonight it was just ‘sorry. I didn’t think that would upset you.’#but I like my room and I like living in my dorm and I’m not risking changing rooms and ending up in a dorm without a working elevator #so I’ll deal and stuff but just. being disabled puts me at a huge disadvantage here #and she’s gradually gotten better about disability stuff but that’s because I’ve had to explain things every step of the way #but also like. she payed money to get a second number to prank text me with and sure the mystery was a bit fun but after I had completely #forgotten about the whole thing she went and told a bunch of people about how she duped me for a month and I never found out.#I was right there. she told me first and then explained that to everyone else. and it just. I don’t like being made a fool of in front of a #bunch of people! she could have kept it to herself and let it fade away but no.#I’m just frustrated

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cyberm4n · 2 months

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You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)

alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!

pt1, pt2

this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!

tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21

cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive

other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.

left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.

■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least

■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship

■ which both are fine with btw

■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever

■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him

■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage

■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know

■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor

■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before

■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.

■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you

■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything

■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it

■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it

■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling

■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you

■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other

■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast

moving on

■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that

■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them

■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge

■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart

■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would

■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do

■ same if you're upset with both

■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition

■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(

■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.

■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough

■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments

■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt

■ anyways, they both come in, it's late

■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little

■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely

■ you've never cried like this before

■ it scares them. alot.

■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.

■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you

■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.

■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone

■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset

■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back

■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night

■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised

■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.

"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.

"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.

"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.

"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.

"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.

lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.

■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"

■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times

■ but he's impressed alastor even asked

■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.

■ that night changed a lot between them tbh

■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed

■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.

■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities

■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist

■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable

■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing

■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous

■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him

■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.

■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted

■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure

■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"

after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.

he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.

without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.

and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.

and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.

as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.

“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”

when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.

after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.

alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:

“just keep cuddling her”

#lucifer smut #alastor smut #hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #lucifer morningstar #radioapple #alastor the radio demon #alastor x lucifer #smut #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer

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cookiescribble · 9 months

Text

Take Me Home

A/N: fun fact, I wrote this entire thing while i was sobering up after getting way too drunk at a friend's party. mod ghost can attest to this. - mod angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer’s girlfriend comes home drunk after girls’ night, and he helps take care of her while politely turning down her advances. (based on 7x16)

CW: mentions of alcohol and sex

~~~

Spencer was all too happy to take care of his godson. He didn’t even need a reason. So when JJ said they were having girls’ night, he really didn’t mind babysitting.

The girls came back late. Like, middle-of-the-night-into-early-morning late.

JJ unlocked the door and came into the house, trying to be as quiet as she could be so she didn’t wake anyone up. She thanked Spencer for babysitting.

“I really appreciate you watching my baby… and now you have to take care of your own baby” she snickered.

Spencer gave her a confused look until he saw his girlfriend stumbling in behind her. She gave him a big smile before tripping right into his arms. He stood her up as she continued giggling, trying to be quiet so she didn’t wake up the house.

“Hi, sweetheart!” She kept giggling and wrapped her arms around him, mostly to hold herself up, but also because she was happy to see him.

JJ patted Spencer on the shoulder. “She fell in the bathroom a couple hours ago. Good luck.”

He took a deep breath and gave JJ a little smile before escorting his girlfriend out the door and into his car. As he was buckling her in, she pulled on his collar a little and said, “you look extra nice tonight, is this a new outfit?”

He laughed and rolled his eyes, shutting the door and getting in the driver's seat. “It’s the same outfit I was in when you left 8 hours ago.” He started up the car and pulled out of the driveway.

She fidgeted in the seat a little as she looked at him. “No, I don’t remember you looking this good when I left…” she reached her hand out to place it on his thigh, smiling mischievously at him.

He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the road. “That’s the alcohol talking. Did you know studies have shown that people who have consumed a moderate amount of alcohol find the faces of members of the opposite sex 25% more attractive than their sober counterparts?” He glanced at her again for a moment before adding, “and you’ve definitely consumed more than a moderate amount of alcohol, so you’re basically looking through rose-tinted glasses right now.”

She smiled and shook her head. “It’s not the alcohol. You’re just hot.” She continued to stroke along his thigh before he reached down and placed her hand in her lap, giving it a little squeeze before he let it go.

“You guys were out awfully late tonight. You know we have to go out in the morning, right?” He asked as he pulled into the parking lot of their apartment. He got out of the car before opening the passenger door and helping his girlfriend out of her seat and towards the apartment.

She waved him off, saying “it’ll be fine, I’ll be up and ready in time.” She let him lead her towards their front door, smiling when she felt his hands around her waist.

When they were in the apartment and Spencer closed the door behind them, her hands were all over him. She stood on her tiptoes to give him sloppy kisses on the lips. He had to keep his hands on her so she wouldn’t fall over. “Baby…” she started, her hands moving under his shirt.

He took her hands and pulled them away, despite her pout of protest. “Sweetie, not tonight,” he said.

She pouted more. “Why not? I can’t be handsy with my boyfriend? We’ve been dating a long time, you know.”

“4 years, 3 months, 22 days” he responded instinctually. “But, you’re too drunk right now. We can’t do this when you’re this drunk.”

She crossed her arms. “I am NOT drunk.” She said definitively, as if that would convince him.

He smiled and shook his head, crossing his arms. “Okay. Let’s assume that’s true.” He took his hands off her waist so she could stand on her own, pointing at the end of the hall. “Walk to the end of the hall and back.”

She huffed a bit before stumbling down the hallway and back. “See, I’m fine!”

He stifled a laugh. “I would hardly call that walking.” She rolled her eyes at him while he continued talking. “Stand on one foot.”

She hesitated for a moment before lifting one of her legs up, immediately falling into him. When he gave her a smug look, she pointed at him and said, “Hey, in my defense, I can’t stand on one foot when I’m sober, either.”

He laughed and nodded. “Well, that’s true. I’ll give you that. You’re just clumsy.” He held her by the waist again. “Can you count backwards from 1,000?”

She furrowed her brows. “Are you serious right now? Would you really rather give me a sobriety test than have sex with me tonight?”

He kissed her on the forehead before guiding her towards their bedroom. “Yes. It was more for my own amusement than anything else.” He sat her down on the bed before looking through the drawers for her pajamas. “You can’t even stand on your own right now. What did you expect?”

She huffed before responding. “I expected a boyfriend who would be happy to see me.”

He shook his head at her theatrics before handing her pajamas over to her. “When did I say I wasn’t happy to see you? I’m always happy to see you.”

She crossed her arms, not moving. “You’re not acting like it. And you know you’re not a cop, right? I don’t think FBI agents usually give tests like that.”

He laughed. “I know. I was merely demonstrating your inebriation through a common field sobriety test.” He took the pajamas back from her and placed them on the bed. “I could never take advantage of you like that. I can help you with your nighttime routine, though.”

She made a face like she wanted to be mad at him, but she couldn’t be. “You know, most guys would love that they could get their drunk girlfriend into bed this easily.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I know. I don’t need to, though. And you’re way too drunk to consent.” He stood her up and brought her clothes to the bathroom. “How would that be enjoyable, anyway? You can barely even think straight; I would just be worrying about you the whole time.” He put some toothpaste on her toothbrush and handed it to her. “And, with the numbing effects of alcohol, you wouldn’t enjoy it that much either; you’d barely be able to feel anything.”

She looked at him for a moment before taking the toothbrush and starting to brush her teeth. “I guess you’re right… you know, sometimes I hate when you’re right.”

He laughed, hugging her close to him while she finished brushing her teeth. “I know. But it’s okay, I’m still here, sweetheart.” He swayed her back and forth a bit, as if he was calming down a fussy baby.

She rinsed her mouth after she brushed her teeth, looking at their reflection in the mirror. She could see how tired she looked. “… Thank you. I’m happy you’re here.”

He kissed the top of her head and moved her so she could hop up onto the sink and he could help take her makeup off. He washed her face and smiled when she closed her eyes as he massaged the soap into her skin. “Comfortable?”

“Mmm…” she mumbled, the circular motion of his hands on her face starting to lull her to sleep.

He chuckled, gently patting her face dry with a towel when he was done. He helped her off the counter and started to help change her clothes.

When he took her shirt off, she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at him. He just laughed and helped her into her pajamas. “Yes, you look great, but no, I’m not changing my mind.”

She sighed and pouted a bit more. “You’re no fun…” she said before yawning. Without even looking at him, she said, “wipe the smug look off of your face; I know I’m tired, that doesn’t mean I agree with your decision.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean. You’re not even looking at me.” But he was grinning, and they’ve been together long enough that she knew exactly what face he’d be making.

“I know you have that I-told-you-so look on your face. I don’t need to look at you to know that.” She turned to him, confirming what she already knew. “Let’s just go to bed.”

He nodded and held her as he guided her back to the bedroom. He lifted the covers so she could get under them before turning off the light and getting under the covers with her. He turned to her and kissed her cheek a few times.

He could tell she was still upset. He held her in his arms and let her rest her head on his chest. “I know you’re all moody from the alcohol, but I think you’ll thank me later.”

She grumbled and crossed her arms. “You think I’m moody? Is that why you’re being so mean to me?”

He gave her a confused look. “How am I being mean to you? Did I say something wrong?” He always struggled with social interaction, so he was worried something he said had come across the wrong way.

She huffed. “It feels like you don’t even like me tonight. All you’ve done is push me away. I was so happy to see you and I couldn’t wait to get home and be with you and you don’t even care.”

“Honey…” he started before pulling her on top of him and wrapping his arms around her waist; he knew it was her favorite way to cuddle, so he figured it could help while she was being overdramatic. “I’m so happy to see you. The only reason I’ve been pushing you away is because I know the effects of alcohol on the human brain and how it impairs judgment. And I know we’ve been together a long time and you say it doesn’t matter, but it matters to me.”

She looked at him for a moment and sighed quietly, realizing how dramatic she was sounding. “I guess I’m using my emotional brain while you’re using your logical brain, so it made me feel like you didn’t care.”

He kissed her forehead and hugged her closer to him. “I do care. I love you.” He kissed her cheek to try to get the point across. “If it helps, you being all over me has made the decision a little… difficult.” He blushed lightly and shifted his position a little.

She giggled and nudged her nose into his. “It helps a little. I’m glad I had at least a little bit of an effect on you.” She yawned and buried her face into his chest. “That’s… all I needed to hear, I guess.”

He stroked her hair as he saw her close her eyes. “Get some sleep, sweetie. I already know you’re gonna be cranky when we go out tomorrow. You should at least get a little sleep.

She groaned, but she was too tired to argue with him. Besides, he was right. Like he always was.

…

She wasn’t the only one who was cranky the next day.

All the girls were so hungover, they could barely tolerate being there. And Spencer’s enthusiasm was only making it worse.

“Why are you yelling?”

“Make him stop…”

Derek laughed and asked, “What did you guys drink last night.”

“The green fairy…” Penelope answered, groaning.

Derek laughed again, pointing to Spencer and his girlfriend. “Well, you two must’ve had fun when you got home.”

She grumbled in response, making Derek laugh again. “No?”

“He made me take a sobriety test.” She rolled her eyes, but her sunglasses blocked her eyes from being seen.

Derek raised his eyebrows, looking at Spencer. “Seriously?” He looked back at her. “Did you pass?”

She scoffed, throwing her hands up a little. “No! I was wasted!”

Spencer laughed and hugged her from behind. “It’s true. It was pretty amusing, though.”

“Man, she must’ve been thrilled about that,” Derek answered sarcastically.

She sighed, leaning into Spencer a little. “At least he made me breakfast. He did that right.”

Spencer rested his head on her shoulder. “I did everything right. You just don’t want to admit it.” He grinned, sounding a little smug.

She looked at him pointedly, leaning up a little to speak quietly in his ear, so only he could hear her. “Hey, if you keep acting like that, we’re not doing anything tonight either.”

He laughed and responded softly. “You know you don’t mean that.”

She grumbled. “Okay, fine. But can you at least stop being so smug? It’s making me even crankier than I am from the hangover.”

He smiled and kissed her cheek. “Okay, okay. Deal.”

Everyone chatted casually for a bit before shifting their focus on the race, eagerly awaiting the end of it.

#also yes i did indeed google drunk facts and included some of them here #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #fanfiction #mod angel

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