#ALSO i want Ianto sick | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meta-squash · 3 months

Text

I reject Owen Harper's absolutely nonsense canonical timeline and substitute my own.

According to canon, Owen was born in 1980 and died (power plant) in 2008, making him barely 28 when he died. But also according to canon, he did 7 years at medical school, then was junior houseman for a year where he met Katie (but then a different canon book says he met her when he was 21). Then he was engaged to Katie and she died, and he was with Torchwood for 2 years before Gwen joined, and a Torchwood employee for a total of 4 years.

It literally cannot work. If Owen did 7 years of medical school and one year as a junior doctor, he'd be 26 (maybe 25 if he gotten into med school as early as possible at 17) by the end of his first year of being a junior doctor. But he died at 28, and was at Torchwood for 4 years before that death. Again, I know I'm being nitpicky about a show that's had some type of media around since 2006 and a billion different writers and clearly no one looks back at old canon details. But still. Would it hurt to at least make things vaguely plausible?

So. My version of Owen's timeline:

Owen is born in 1976 or 1977. He does 7 years of medical school starting at age 18, during which time he meets Katie when he's 21. He's 26 when he becomes a junior doctor, and has about 2 or 3 years actually working as a doctor (I've always imagined it was in A&E or something equally varied and "interesting" which fits with his sort of jack of all trades vibes in Torchwood). He proposes to Katie in 2003, and a few months later she starts getting sick, but they continue to plan their wedding. She dies. He works for Torchwood for 4 years and dies at age 32 or 33 in Exit Wounds.

First of all, it now makes sense time-wise in terms of actual linear time.

But also, Fragments gives a glimpse of just how much losing Katie fucked Owen up entirely. I think the loss of not only his fiancee but also his actual career (since everyone seems to think he's gone mad with grief or whatever) would fuck him up far more intensely if he'd been dedicated to both for quite some time. The Owen we see in Fragments is nice, is loving, clearly cares, and is good at his job in a way that means he's respected by his peers in general and not just for his skills. Compare that to Torchwood Owen who is sarcastic and spiky and a bastard and good at his job but doesn't want to let on that he cares. That's the kind of drastic change you make after a loss of something you've had for a long time and you cannot emotionally or psychologically afford to try and form those kinds of connections again (case in point: Diane).

Like, Owen and Ianto have such incredibly similar backstories, but one of the reasons I think Ianto bounces back from his loss of Lisa and the trauma of Canary Wharf is because he's young and because his job/relationship was not a very long one and therefore had not settled into this comfortable thing where you deep down expect this same thing in the future forever. Ianto hadn't made a life for himself yet when he lost Lisa at 24. So there was room for him to change, to move on, to find someone new in Jack. Owen had already made a life with Katie and his job as a proper doctor, and losing it totally ruined him.

#torchwood #torchwood meta #owen harper #i just love owen so much #anyway this ramble comes from me writing a post cyberwoman fic and doing timeline research

17 notes · View notes

jakowskis · 8 months

Text

💖💙💜 owen harper bisexuality masterpost 💖💙💜

i've had this in my drafts for a minute but i figured i'd finish it up and post it today for bisexual visibility day :D

it hasn't cropped up recently, but i've seen a lot of people who've questioned owen's bisexuality over the years and i thought i'd compile all the 'evidence' (although it completely baffles me that we got a show with five canonical bisexual characters and people want to write two of them off as straight / "heterflexible" ?? there shouldn't have to be 'proof' of owen being bi, RTD said torchwood is about five bisexuals fighting aliens in cardiff which means they're all bi, full stop. also, bisexuals should never have to 'prove' they're bi, and in regards to fictional characters, i'm sick of people nit-picking who 'deserves' to be counted as rep and refusing to 'claim' certain characters if they're morally grey or if the fandom simply doesn't Like them as much-)

but i digress.

so without further ado, here's everything i've found that supports owen's status as a bicon :-)

explicit canon instances

➤➤ obviously, we have to start with his gay kiss in the first episode of the show. there's a lot to be said about that kiss, i'm not gonna get into all that here, but i've seen a lot of people say it's not proof of owen being attracted to men, and i wholeheartedly disagree. you can literally catch him smiling very happily after the kiss (and one of owen's few genuine smiles of the series, too). i don't think a straight man (or even a "heteroflexible" man) would beam at another guy who's just informed him that he wants to fuck him. a fair amount of people have also said they interpreted owen calling the taxi as him intending to get away from the couple, but i don't understand how they're getting that impression, because that smile makes it seem very much apparent to me that running away is the last thing he wants to do.

it's also, notably, the first time we see bisexuality IN the bisexual show, which i don't think should be discounted. like, we see owen do something gay before jack does, for fuck's sake. is it a good first impression of how torchwood portrays bisexuality? no. is setting owen up as a more sex-driven, opportunistic bisexual nicely contrasted against ianto & tosh's more romance-oriented brand of demisexual bi/pansexuality? in my opinion, yes. i love that the torchwood bisexuals all practice their bisexuality in different ways. that's very special to me. 'cause it's realistic! real bisexuals all experience bisexuality differently! obviously it'd be a different story if he was the only bi rep, because lord knows we've seen enough of that already, but torchwood makes an effort to show us five different brands of bisexuality, and five different bi stories that largely only exist in the subtext, that aren't the focus of the show, and it's fantastic. it's all i could ever want out of bi rep, honestly, even if it is a bit dated now.

➤➤ the other explicit moment in the show: asking tosh and ianto for an end-of-the-world threesome in sleeper (s2ep2). i've actually never seen owen bi-deniers (fhdskjf it's a conspiracy) even mention this scene. owen literally asks ianto if they can have sex with each other to his face, and he's dead serious when he asks it. that's... i mean you can't mistake that as anything else. like fhdsjkf??

➤➤ next we jump to some of the, i suppose, extended universe content. whether the books are canon or not is debated, but the novel 'another life' features owen playing an online simulation game, and it makes a point to depict owen flirting with someone with a male avatar + wondering to himself if the guy would be down for cyber-sex. [someone posted part of that scene here. for context, owen's also got a VR headset on during that bit.]

➤➤ another instance is on the website, which some also don't regard as canon, but, i mean, i don't know who worked on the things we see on that site, but obviously they got their information from somewhere. they probably consulted with the writers on the show, or at the very least got notes on what things to touch on. anyway, there's a portion of the site where you can find a 'background check' on owen, and it's just a collection of messages from some ex-lovers of his. one of them is a man.

again, some people disregard the canon validity of the website, but the way i see it, the information on this site was released while the show was airing for fans to look at and to gain further insight on the characters. one of the things they felt a need to tell us about owen, important enough to be featured in his background (wayyy before the katie plot was developed), was that he wasn't just interested in women. personally, i regard that as canon. you can find this here. and even if you wanna say fragments jossed this background, it doesn't joss his, like... identity.

next we have things said by russell t. davies himself + by burn gorman (owen's actor)

➤➤ again, RTD (who's torchwood's creator, but i'm assuming everyone reading this knows that) explicitly described torchwood as "a bunch of bisexuals living under cardiff and fighting aliens". that's not ambiguous. [i don't have a direct source for this quote, it was apparently said on the dvd extras.]

burn's comments on owen's sexuality include...

➤➤ (when asked who owen fancies) "Owen's pretty cocky, he'll try it on with whoever comes along." [x] and yes, this is vague, but vagueness is often interpreted as proof of bisexuality. (for example, in the pacific rim dvd features, newt's bio stating he was interested in "whoever will take him" was widely interpreted by the fandom as him being bi.)

➤➤ (in regards to owen's "let's all have sex" line) "I don't think he [...] thinks about the implications, or whether it's with a man or a woman." [x]

(ok i have to admit, although i absolutely adore burn, i'm not super fond of the way his 2006-08 self would talk about how torchwood handled sexuality*. however! he kind of hit the nail on the head in saying that, even if it's in the context of owen wanting end-of-the-world sex, because my take on how owen sees his own sexuality has always essentially boiled down to thinking he'd be like, "well, why wouldn't men also be an option?" (well, with sexual attraction anyway; i think owen's relationship with romantic attraction is far more complex.) i think he resembles jack in that way; anyone's a prospective sexual partner, if they're attractive and interesting and he decides he wants them, and he's also impulsive as hell, so he doesn't think too hard about gender in the moment if he decides he's into someone. there's not really any hang-ups.)

➤➤ and ofc...

(out of context this could look like he's just jokingly calling owen an alien-fucker, although owen makes his thoughts on alien-fucking pretty clear in countrycide lol, but it was said in the context of owen/andy as a ship [x].)

*if you're wondering what i'm referring to, it's a comment here [x] about how the torchwood team's bisexuality is a result of being in a pressure cooker environment and having a 'wartime mentality', and they just kind of 'take what they can get'. the implication that bisexuality is out of desperation/accessibility rather than attraction is pretty damn icky, BUT i love him lots and he generally seems to be pretty woke these days (+ otherwise has always seemed to grasp why torchwood's rep was so unique and groundbreaking and important) so i'll go ahead and hope that was just, y'know, simple 'being a straight guy in 2008' ignorance. fifteen years is a long time and i have faith his opinions have evolved by now, esp considering he used the word 'pansexual' at a 2016 con [x]. (actually, ok, you caught me, that last bit wasn't super relevant and i didn't need to bring it up, but i just wanted to gush about him doing it because how often do you hear that word out of celebs, especially older and presumably straight ones. and in 2016, too. kinda slay of him, ngl)

aaand finally, some random, non-explicit little things that i think support him being a bisexy king (several of these are goofy and half-serious)

➤➤ in episode 2, they make a point to cut to owen smiling after jack's line about "you people and your quaint little labels". one might argue he's smiling at gwen & carys on the screen, but cutting to him immediately after jack says it very much implies he's reacting to jack's words, and i think it's particularly poignant after, again, we saw him kiss a man the episode prior. (which, another thing - owen's literal introduction features him kissing a man, like that's gotta count for something. if the literal third thing i ever see a male character do ever is kiss a guy, that means something.)

➤➤ and of course, in the same episode, we get "period military is not the dress code of a straight man" .... owen's the only one of them with working gaydar. also what a fruity thing to say

➤➤ speaking of fruity things to say, in s2e10 when they're all watching the old film, owen goes "look at the state of them 💅" and he says it SO cunty for no reason it always kills me fhsdkjfd

➤➤ combat.

➤➤ no, really.

➤➤ bonus: in the combat commentary, it's mentioned that when RTD saw the above scene between mark & owen, he said it was "the gayest thing he'd ever seen".

➤➤ in the three monkeys, a big finish audio featuring owen & andy, owen flirts with andy repeatedly. even if he just does it to be annoying, it's still pretty damn gay. also the pet names... (he calls him sweetheart, sunshine, and tiger. it's half-mocking, sure, especially because it's owen, but there's also a domesticity to it.)

➤➤ and then there's the hope's "you're alive again and you want crisps?!" "be glad that's all i'm asking for" (owen was like 'i will not use this as an excuse to try to sleep w andy i will not use this as an excuse to try to sleep w andy i will not use th') these are the only two audios i've heard with this duo, i'm sure there's more examples in the other two. i know gooseberry literally has owen sabotaging andy's relationship with his gf and that is... woohoohoo.... i'll update this once i get through those.

➤➤ …. this is my personal opinion but i lowkey think he kinda wants john hart a bit when they all first meet him in kkbb hdskjfds. gwen & tosh both seem very charmed by him and they're meant to, it's supposed to be like 'oh, look at jack's ex waltzing in and charming the pants off everyone (ha), and only ianto and jack see through him' - owen isn't given a flirty line of dialogue or even a close-up shot of him eyeing john like the girls get, but if you watch him closely he certainly looks… intrigued by him. i think owen's more of a bi disaster than he lets on.

➤➤ in episode 10, diane notes that owen has "beauty products" in his bathroom. obviously this shouldn't be indicative of sexuality, but how many Straight Men in 2006 were moisturizing lmao. hell, how many do nowadays 😭

➤➤ gwen & owen's dynamic settles into a lovely little friendship in s2 and owen lowkey gives gbf vibes <3 them making fun of the movie in s2e10 together + the cheek-kissing at the end of s2e9… bi besties!!

➤➤ the peace sign he throws up in meat when he meets rhys fdsjk i don't even believe in some of the silly internet jokes abt bi culture but c'mon

➤➤ have you seen his taste in women. diane is soo butch and gwen's a total tomboy in s1. that's bi culture babey!!!! i too like girls when they're boys

➤➤ i already talked about it but the aforementioned scene where he asks tosh and ianto for a threesome... he asks them, like, immediately after they team up and bully him for not comprehending that there's "no phones. phones all broken. anyone there? no, 'cause the phones aren't working." that was suuuch a disaster bi owen moment for me. i too would get a little revved up if tosh and ianto both bullied me at once <3

aaand finally... the biggest Evidence of all....

➤➤ he's a leather jacket bisexual. need i say more

and that's all! thanks for reading!

[credit for the dividers used in this. didn't tumblr used to have built-in dividers? i miss that.]

#mine #torchwood #torchwood posting #owen harper #tell me why im nervous to post this fhdskfds #my anxiety is like someone's gonna get mad at me for this somehow #shhhhh #beating it with a broom #look at my post boy

38 notes · View notes

gmariam321 · 2 months

Text

Well, I went back to an old, unfinished story but am struggling. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. It's a quarantine type story, but I'm not sure how to end it after 10k I always liked to make my endings mean something, not just ramble off into the sunset. Ianto and Gwen are stuck in seclusion together and have a little talk but then what? Owen cures them and. . . ? ? ? Any ideas?

I'd also love to finish this non-Torchwood AU I started years ago. It's well over 15k, kind of fun, already at several chapters and probably just needs a few more. I think I remember where it was going but apparently I didn't write that part, and I could swear I did! So that's been sitting open on my desktop for weeks too. I need a good kick in the pants. I think part of the problem is needing an immediate payoff...I've been out of writing so long I don't really feel like playing the long game right now, I just want to write something I can also finish. Only it's all stuck. Boo.

In the meantime, back to reading through my bookmarks. . .

EDIT: Did Owen ever actually use alien antibiotics or is that a fanfic thing? Thanks!

EDIT 2: Turns out that looking at my file history, I started the quarantine story while sick with the same kind of rash, just not alien. Go figure. I thought it was sounding awfully familiar! 🤣

#torchwood #jack #ianto #janto #writing

12 notes · View notes

dragonswithjetpacks · 2 years

Text

Oh man. I’ve had such a rough year already.

I found out I was pregnant in February, which is great. But we’re having to remodel part of the house for the nursery. Which is a problem because my SO has been working out of town since January.

He was supposed to be done by April. It’s currently May. I’ve been doing things on my own. I’m currently 18 weeks. So things are starting to get difficult. But at least I’m not falling asleep at my desk anymore. Which got me into trouble at work. I was offline too much so I got written up. Even though let me have some days off excused for being sick while knowing I was pregnant. Whatever.

On top of that, my cat went missing for a week. Then I found out he passed away the same day he went missing and a random cop picked him up and no one has any idea what they did with the body. I know the local animal control guy and he doesn’t know, either. So I’ve been on week three of crying about that. He was my favorite cat... and we have a history.

On. top. of. that. My SO’s ex, mother of his children, has been an absolute terror. She’s been sending him gifts to give to me. Telling him what to do with me. Then projecting her insecurities onto me and telling him about it. I don’t speak to her any more and this is a snippit of why. She said I’m not close with the kids (bullshit) and that if I didn’t have a relationship with her, they were going to reject my baby. Um. Hurtful? But he gets the apology, I don’t.

On TOP of that, my SO’s mom has been asking for his help every single weekend. Like he barely gets to spend time with his kids or me. And I need him here to help with the remodel. But he doesn’t tell her no, of course. And is like “if we don’t have plans I don’t see why not”. LIKE WHY do I have to make plans with you to fix your own house. Like bruh. She’s been awful, too. Guilt tripping me about where I’m having the baby and the names I have picked.

And I’ve just been burnt out and restless. Can’t play a game longer than twenty minutes. Can’t sit still or stay awake long enough to watch anything. Can’t go outside because it’s been raining all week. Luckily I have some time off coming soon. I think I need it desperately. I have so much I want to do.

Good news is that I finally got an adapter to turn my hard drive into basically a giant USB. I have all my old screenshots and game saves, now. I also started watching Torchwood since we have HBO again. S2 Ianto is keeping me sane.

I’m ready to start writing again. Or playing. Or something. I miss posting. I miss having a project. I can’t even paint right now because my station is in the basement waiting to be set up WHICH I CAN’T DO BECAUSE I’M PREGNANT AND MY SO ISN’T HERE.

BUT, the baby is healthy. I’m healthy. So that’s all wonderful.

3 notes · View notes

theorphaninthetardis · 2 years

Text

Chapter Ten

They all clamber back into the van, Ianto switching places with Sophie. Owen complains the whole way to Jack's chosen campsite, but she chooses to ignore him, admiring the landscape instead.

Once Jack pulls off the road everyone starts to unload the van, Gwen and Tosh going to set up a tent. Ianto opens up the second tent as well, getting started on its setup. Jack grabs the third tent, Owen taking the other side. "What's the matter with a hotel?" he grumbles, unceremoniously dropping the bag.

"People are going missing round here. Do you really wanna stay in a place run by strangers?"

"Oh, because sleeping outside is going to be a lot safer," the doctor grumbles, crossing his arms.

"No other race in the universe goes camping, " Jack responds, throwing down the other side of the tent bag, "Celebrate your own uniqueness."

He turns on his heel and spies Sophie helping Ianto set the second tent up. "Kid, can I talk to you for a minute?" he calls out to her.

She jumps up from where she's crouching and rushes over to Jack. She jumps at the immortal, and he catches her in the hug, "Thank you for inviting me, Jack. This seems like it's going to be fun."

"Yeah. It's also going to be dangerous. This is a Torchwood investigation too. I know I told you there would be danger, but I want you at my side, alright?"

She nods, noting the serious look on his face. He beams down at her, knowing she understands him. They turn back to the team to see Owen kick the tent bag. Jack takes her hand in his, and they stroll back over to the group. Gwen smiles as they approach. "Oh, come on," she addresses Owen, "It's just a bit of fun. Who was the last person you snogged?"

"You even sound like an eight year old," the doctor grouses, as he tosses down a tent stake, "Who the hell says snog?"

"Mine was Rhys," she smiles, setting some cups out on the picnic table.

"Yeah, well, there's a surprise," Owen snarks.

"Tosh, your go."

"It's easy for you," she says, setting one of the wooden crates on the ground.

Jack opens the front door to the van, and starts to look over the map. Sophie settles down in the grass, and leans against the van, watching the Torchwood team.

"Oh, come on," Gwen smiles, setting her box on the ground as well, "Spill the beans."

"Owen."

"What?" the doctor sounds confused. Tosh looks a little sheepish, as Owen says, "Tosh, love, in your dreams."

"Three am, Christmas Eve, in front of the Millennium Centre, waiting for a cab. I had mistletoe."

Sophie turns to shuffle in her backpack for one of her textbooks, as the conversation continues.

Owen sits down on a stack of crates, as Tosh asks him, "So who was yours?"

Its silent for a few moments, Owen tossing a set of silverware up and down. He stops, pointing the cutlery at the Welshwoman, "Gwen, actually."

Jack looks up from his map, accidentally kicking Sophie in his urge to listen in. She shoots him a glare, which he ignores. The entire Torchwood crew seems a bit shocked as well. "When was this?" Tosh asks Gwen.

"It was complicated."

Jack hops out of the van, pulling Sophie up as he goes. He swings the door shut, walking over to the group. Jack takes a seat next to Owen, and Sophie slides onto the picnic bench next to Tosh and Gwen. Owen points at Jack as he sits down, signaling that it's his turn to go.

The immortal smirks, "Are we including non-human lifeforms?"

Sophie laughs as the entire Torchwood team are disgusted.

"Oh, you haven't," Gwen grimaces.

"You're a sick man, Harkness. That is disgusting," Owen snorts.

"I never know when he's joking," Gwen turns to Sophie.

"He's not joking. I was there. What're the Doc's kisses like, Jackaboy?"

Owen's eyes widen as he turns to his boss, Gwen grins, and Tosh smiles.

He rolls his eyes, "I was excited, alright. I didn't expect Rose to be alive. I just reacted."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Jack blushes, "Who was yours, Soph?"

She glares at him, "Never had one, sorry."

Owen raises an eyebrow, "You're nineteen and you've never snogged anyone."

She shrugs, and doesn't respond.

Ianto looks up sadly, "It's my turn, is it?" Sophie notices the shift in the mood, as the Welshman continues, "It was Lisa."

"Ianto, I'm sorry," Gwen says.

"Sorry she's dead, or sorry you mentioned it?"

Everyone looks a bit chagrined, and Sophie is just even more confused. She studies the Welshman, the pain across his face seems very familiar, as she sees it every time she looks in the mirror.

Owen suddenly stands up, "We should get some firewood."

Gwen nods in agreement, "I'll give you a hand."

Toshiko immediately moves back to unpacking gear, while Jack walks back over to the van. Ianto moves over to Owen's abandoned tent, working in setting it up. Sophie sets her book down on the table, walking over to the Welshman.

"Hey, Ianto," she says softly.

"Look I really don't want to-" he starts, before looking up and seeing that its Sophie.

"Are you alright?" she asks, crouching down beside him.

"Not really, but I should be."

"If it's okay, could you tell me who Lisa was?"

He looks up, "Lisa is-was my fiance."

"The one that you told Graham and Ryan about." She sits down in the grass beside him, taking his hand into hers, "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

He meets her eyes and sees a kindred spirit within them, "You lost someone recently too, didn't you?"

She looks down at the grass, pulling a few different pieces out of the ground, "My roommate, my friend. She, uh, she died in my arms a week ago."

The Weshman's face softens even more, "I am so sorry, Sophie. That's why Jack has been hovering over you then? He's worried about you isn't he?" She nods. "I know there are no words that can help, but I can say that the more time that passes the less it will hurt. If you need someone to talk too, you're welcome to come to me, alright."

"Thank you, Ianto. I didn't know Lisa, but I think she would be proud of the man you are today."

He smiles at her, then turns back to the tent. Sophie looks up to find Jack staring at her from across the campsite. She stands up and walks back over to the captain. "What were you two talking about?" he asks, as soon as she is close enough to hear him.

"It was personal, alright. Have you figured anything out?" she nods at the map in his hands.

The Captain opens his mouth to respond, but Gwen comes bursting out of the trees. She stops for a moment to catch her breath, "We found a body," she announces.

Torchwood jumps to attention, grabbing different objects. Sophie whips around to look at Jack, her eyes wide. He points a finger at her, "Sophie, stay here, keep guard of the site." He pulls a pistol out of his belt, "If anything approaches, shoot it."

He thrusts the weapon into her hands, "Thanks, I won't," she yells after him, as the group is already following Gwen into the woods.

#Doctor Who #Doctor Who fanfiction

0 notes

thetorchwoodarchive · 3 years

Text

[Image Description: a banner for the Across the Bay Crossover Fics You Didn’t See Coming fest, featuring beach signs on a tropical island, reading “Cardiff by the Sea”, the name of the fest, “authors”, “torchwood” (partially obscured), and “one shots” (partially obscured), and a warning sign where Myfanwy chases a swimmer]

ACROSS THE BAY: CROSSOVER FICS YOU DIDN’T SEE COMING MASTERPOST

Thank you everyone for submitting your crossover and fusion fic recommendations. Below are all submissions and some of our favorites!

Is it Insensitive for Me to Say by aliciajazmin (EstherJohnTosh | complete | 2441 | T)

Toshiko Sato and Esther Drummond absolutely will make fun of their boyfriend for deciding to attend an audition, while also attending said audition with him.

Crossover With: The Outer Worlds

Golden Apples and Norse Gods (Or How Ianto Got His Groove Back) by blackkat (JackIanto | complete | 1592 | G)

Ianto finds himself back from the dead and, apparently, in the position to double-cross a power-crazed Norse god intent on conquering the Earth by taking out a team of superheroes. Must be a Tuesday.

Crossover With: Avengers/MCU

The Magic of Torchwood by Bella the Strange (JackIanto, IantoJohn, JackOther, Non-Torchwood Ships | wip | 546,512 | T)

The Torchwood team have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Set between Adam and Reset. Rated T because of Jack Harkness, swearing, mature themes, slash etc… it’s Torchwood!

Crossover With: Harry Potter

Welcome to Torchwood by Jackdaw818 (Gen | complete | 1601 | T)

A strange creature behind the Ralphs, a break-in at the Museum of Forbidden Technologies, and visitors in Night Vale. Overall, a slightly unordinary day for Cecil Gershwin Palmer

Crossover With: Welcome to Night Vale

Torchwait for iiiiit by lady-demacabre (Gen | complete | 3k | K+)

When Shawn and Gus are called in on a case for an eccentric collector of alien objects, they get more than what they bargained for. One shot, Psych oriented.

Crossover With: Psych

Theme and Variations by nemo_baker (JackIanto, GwenRhys, OwenKatie | 5817 | T)

Time Agent Jack Harkness is sent back in time to solve the mystery of a mysterious train bombing. The problem is, he only has eight minutes to do it.

Written for Reel Torchwood screening 8 on Livejournal. Movie Prompt: Source Code (2011)

Crossover With: Source Code

Day Tripper by Croquemboucheballpit (Gement) (JackBessie the Third Doctor’s Car, Bessie the Third Doctor’s CarLightening McQueen (past) | complete | 2360 | M)

Bessie’s like any other companion: far from home, more than she appears, and always up for an adventure.

And Jack Harkness really will seduce anything that moves.

Crossover With: Pixar’s Cars

An American Volunteer by That_one_kid (SteveBucky, BuckyJackSteve | Complete | 4395 | T)

What if Captain Jack Harkness met Steve & Bucky during the war? What if he ran into them again, present day?

AKA

Captain Jack Harkness and his mission to seduce the two gorgeous, capable soldiers who keep running into him.

Crossover With: Captain America/MCU

Statement #0041708 - Future Sight by Jackdaw816 (Gen | complete | 1690 | T)

Statement of Lisa Hallett regarding a peculiar mirror found at a car boot sale

Crossover With: The Magnus Archives

(Un)Welcome Aboard by Jaune_Chat (Jack | Complete | 4,154 | T)

To make ends meet, Mal listens to a suggestion from Inara than he rent out the other shuttle. She has the perfect candidate, a charming Companion named Jack…

Crossover With: Firefly

Death and the Definitely-Not-A Maiden by Odsbodkins (JackIanto | Complete | 3,6K | PG-13)

When Jack dies, Death is there to meet him. Every time. Written in 2008 for the Doctor Who Crossover Ficathon. Takes in Torchwood to end S2, Doctor Who to end S3, Discworld to Soul Music.

Crossover With: Discworld

Remarkable by snowwhiteliar ( JackIanto, IantoLisa | Complete | 20.971 | PG-13)

Summary: Once upon a time, in a small village in a distant province of a peaceful kingdom, there lived a boy called Ianto

Crossover With: Fairy Tales

Got That Friday Feeling Again by NancyBrown (OwenOther, JackIanto, GwenRhys, GwenOwen | Complete | 18.3K | R)

HELP HELP HELP HELP

I AM TRAPPED IN A TIME BUBBLE

The magic marker all over the nice chintz wallpaper bled and smeared as Owen wrote in increasingly desperate lettering across the walls. Ls and Ps dragged down, wiggly at the end or drawn out in slashed strokes.

He ignored the pounding on the door frame. He’d shoved the wardrobe in front, which always kept Jack out for twenty three and a half minutes. He ignored the sweat and tears and snot dripping down his face, down his mouth. He ignored the high-pitched singing from his own throat, “If you want my future, forget my past,” chanted over and over.

HELP

Crossover With: Groundhog Day

Back, and Back, and Back a Little More (Future Optional) (JackIanto, JennyVastra | Complete | 32591 | M)

Accidentally shot into the past by a time-travelling car, Ianto has to fix his own mistakes or he won't have a future to go back to.

Crossover With: Back to the Future

Truth, Justice by NancyBrown (SupermanOwen | complete | 414 | M)

The green shit does not work. Warnings: dubcon (AMTDI)

Crossover With: Justice League Unlimited/DCAU/Superman

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodies, or, A Humourous Interlude Between Epics by copperbadge (Gen | complete | 749 | T)

Ianto neglected to introduce himself as he informed the senior staff that Atlantis was now under the jurisdiction of Torchwood, whatever Torchwood is.

Crossover With: Stargate Atlantis

Never Have I Ever by st_aurafina (JackIanto, JackDoctor (past/implied), PepperTony (implied) | complete | 1714 | T)

Written for the prompt Ianto, Donna and Pepper end up at a secretaries'/assistants' conference and have a conversation about their bosses.

Crossover With: Ironman/MCU

Beware the Sparkles by elisi (JackIanto, JackEdwardBella | complete | 4793 | T)

It's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after. Oh and Jack has sex with sparkly vampires.

Crossover With: Twilight

The Death Note Discovery by KaibaGirl007 (JackIanto | complete | 18,992 | T)

“You’ve clearly just got a notebook belonging to some geek, a rather sick geek I’ll give you that, who likes to keep note of people’s deaths.” - Will the team resist the urge to use the Death Note or will one of them give into temptation?

Crossover With: Death Note

A Confluence of Personalities by galaxysoup (JackIanto | complete | 4839 | T)

Conner Kent’s body might be dead, but his soul has apparently decided to take the scenic route.

Crossover With: DC Comics/Young Justice Comics

Imposters Among Us by gwendolyncooper (JackIanto, GwenRhys | complete | 9117 | M)

The Torchwood team (+Rhys) are out for a night of fun when they end up on a spaceship with no power, no info, and no crew. Known only as THE SKELD, the team tries to fix the ship and figure out what happened to its previous occupants.

But something out there is killing them.

Something that may be someone they know.

Crossover With: Among Us

Traitors (Among Us) by princessoftheworlds (JackIanto | complete | 440 | G)

In a happy future, the team plays Among Us, and Ianto suffers.

Crossover With: Among US

Tagline: I saw the VIDEO. Got the CALL? What Next??? by BricklingGhost (TeamGwenee) (JackIanto, JackSamara | complete | 2424 | Not Rated)

'Tagline: I saw the VIDEO. Got the CALL? What Next???

Bollocks. That’s just a myth. Some git showing off and claiming to be the one person alive who Samara doesn’t bump off. He’ll be boasting that he’s been chosen to kill Voldemort next.'

When another unsuspecting victim falls foul of the cursed tape, he is pointed towards Captain Jack Harkness as his only hope for salvation.

Crossover With: The Ring

(My God, He Just) Came and Went by Brokenpitchpipe (SteveBucky | complete | 1591 | M)

It starts on a cold, snowy September night in 1916, on the day Winifred Barnes walks to Doris Lindow’s house to see her new telephone and catches the eye of a handsome young man on the other side of the street. He tips his hat as she sees him, and she flushes scarlet and nods in return.

And nine months later, a little baby boy screams his way into the world.

But that’s not when it starts. Not really.

Crossover With: Captain America/MCU

Beast Inside by Flamingbluepanda (JackIanto, OwenTosh, GwenRhys | complete | 26934 | M)

"Argue with anything else, but don’t argue with your own nature.” - Phillip Pullman

Inside us all, there is an animal that expresses our soul. How would the world change were those animals outside?

Crossover With: His Dark Materials

Rifts and Robots by Paycheckgurl (JackIanto | complete | 3021 | G)

Jack and Ianto’s date at the movies is interrupted by two robots with no theater etiquette.

Crossover With: Mystery Science Theater 3000

The Jack and Ianto Show by Paycheckgurl (JackIanto | WIP | 7392 | T)

Jack and Ianto are a regular couple, living a quiet life, and trying to fit into the quaint Village of West Castle. Sure they're keeping the secret that Jack is an immortal time traveler from the future, with a fantastical machine called a vortex manipulator that can manipulate time and space around them, but they have much more pressing concerns. Such as strict bosses and nosy neighbors. Everything is perfect, a dream come true.

And Jack is going to keep it that way.

Please Stand By...

Crossover With: WandaVision

Mutually Assured Uncooperation by princessoftheworlds (JackIanto, OwenTosh, MarthaMickey, FitzSimmons, LincolnDaisy (past) | complete | 31547 | T)

Aliens, time-travelling, resurrections. These are all experiences familiar to not just one but two top-secret organizations that have a hard time keeping a low-profile. Figures that they would encounter each other eventually.

Or: the five times that SHIELD and Torchwood had an encounter that neither were pleased with, and the one time they had to work together when two of their own were taken.

Or: There's Kree running amok in Cardiff, including a murdered one, and Torchwood is on the case, but so is SHIELD. Also, don't forget the memory-manipulating aliens there too!

Crossover With: Agents of Shield/MCU

all i know is (infatuations) by princessoftheworlds (JackIanto, JackJohn, OwenTosh, LisaIanto | complete | 439 | T)

Seventh-year Slytherin Ianto Jones handles a break up, getting a boyfriend, terrible emotional misunderstandings with his best friend Jack Harkness, being miserable, and reconciliation. (Not precisely in that order.)

Crossover With: Harry Potter

#torchwood #au:crossover #genre:crossover #event:across the bay crossover fest

23 notes · View notes

dominique-mini · 3 years

Text

i love music and torchwood so i'll just vent about songs that fit with jack and ianto (because they're my fixations and i just can't think about anything else)

jack and ianto dancing to Heroes by David Bowie and then the line "though nothing will keep us together, we can steal time... just for one day" comes up

when ianto is dying in children of earth (yeah im quite obsessed with this scene, sue me) When The Party's Over by Billie Eillish comes up. and as jack begs ianto to save his breath, the lines "tore my shirt to stop you bleeding, but nothing ever stops you leaving" come up (the whole song applies to jack's immortality vs ianto's mortality but this line just hits SO. HARD.)

let's be honest jack has done some truly TERRIBLE things and i bet he feels like a monster... but i think not when he's in love. i think his hard feelings about himself soften up whenever he's loving someone and has that person loving him back. So i really think of Perfect Day by Lou Reed and the lines "just a perfect day. you made me forget myself. i thought i was someone else... someone good"

and on this note: How Soon Is Now by The Smiths with the line "I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does" because no one can call him a monster besides him

AND EVEN FURTHER: Speedway by Morrissey. this one is just so much but i'll put some lines here (imagine writing something based on this song)

"all of the rumors keeping me grounded, i never said that they were completely unfounded"

"and all those lies: written lies, twisted lies... well, they weren't lies, they weren't lies, they weren't lies"

"i've always been true to you. in my own strange way, i've always been true to you. in my own sick way, i've always stayed true to you"

and Karma Police by Radiohead is THE PERFECT SONG for Cyberwoman. The lines "karma police. i've given all i can, it's not enough... i've given all i can" represents just the complete sense of hopelessness of ianto when losing lisa because he had given all he could, all he had to torchwood. and then "this is what you get when you mess with us" represents jack's inevitable roughness with dealing with the team. if ianto messed with the team, jack had to do something about it, he had no other choice.

and right after, No Surprises by Radiohead. "A heart that's full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you... Bruises that won't heal" perfectly encapsulates ianto's feelings, his bruises, after lisa dies. "I'll take a quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide. No alarms and no surprises" because I bet he considered the idea of quitting Torchwood and being retconned. ianto hated his life before torchwood, but the feeling of being useless and not having a purpose hurted way less than losing lisa. So he wants to forget it all, take a quiet life, even though he would still be in pain anyway. No rift alarms and no surprises for him.

jack. and Lazzarus by David Bowie. I don't even have a specific line (maybe "I was looking for your ass". iconic.) because this song is just so him

and Garden by Pearl Jam when Ianto falls in love with jack because of "I will walk with my hands bound, I will walk with my face blood, I will walk with my shadow flag into your garden of stone" which means that ianto will walk to HELL with jack (and it also sounds a lot like wedding vows, if y'all will allow me to be poetic)

jack. When You Were Young by The Killers. He doesn't look a thing like Jesus but talks like a gentleman-----

AND THIS IS THE FLUFFIEST ONE: when ianto falls in love with jack and has the chance to heal from his traumas, has jack to wake him up at night whenever he's having a terrible nightmare, i think of Like A Child Again by The Mission because of the most beautiful lines "I'm not scared anymore, I'm not scared of the dark when I sleep with you" (no but seriously i actually cry when i think about this one too much). and since ianto had a goth phase i BET he listened to his song and cried so much as a teen (huhhh maybe i'm projecting, let's get to the next one)

and Ordinary World by Duran Duran that talks about losing a beloved one and basically seeing their ghost everywhere you go reminds me that jack felt so much pain after ianto died he couldn't bare to stay on earth. he could've moved to any other country, but the earth as a WHOLE reminded him of ianto. that was the power ianto had on him.

Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne when Jack goes away to the year that never was (ok that one was predictable)

Ianto is such a soft person and his way of loving must be so wholesome and this has nothing to do with the lyrics but I genuinely think Mary by Big Thief is the way Ianto loves. I can't explain but you'll hopefully understand it when you listen to the song. i think it's the musical equivalent of receiving a kiss on the forehead of someone you love very much.

I really have written a chapter where Ianto and Jack are talking about immortality and Ianto just fears death so much he asks "and if I die here now, wishing wells and magic spells and everything between, can you tell me what it's like? Or how it's going to be?" which are the last lines of How It's Going To Be by Gerard Way

this took a long time to write but I hope you enjoyed!!! I definitely want to know your thoughts about the songs in the comments

#torchwood #ianto jones #captain jack harkness #janto

25 notes · View notes

agent-jones-archive · 4 years

Text

Stop woobifying Ianto Jones.

He is not this super soft, shy, meme-loving, giggly, affectionate, silly, squishy, love-sick guy who wants everyone to be kind and flowers and rainbows all the time who jumps into his lover’s arms and acts all mushy.

Ianto Jones grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father which made him have to mature at a very young age and become very reserved and hide his true self because his dad didn’t like him. He never really opened himself to anyone, apart from Jack.

Ianto Jones is a sharpshooter who canonically killed 12 people in order to save Jack and Gwen. He tasered a man between the eyes because he endangered the team. He would have shot John Hart point blank had Gwen not held him back. He shot Owen, for fucks sake, in order to stop him from opening the rift.

Ianto Jones specifically sought out Jack and used any attraction there was between them as a way to manipulate his way into Torchwood in order to save Lisa. It may not have been the plan originally, he just wanted to get Jack to give him a job; but, that flirtation is there from day one and Ianto used it to his advantage. He knew Jack trusted him [ we see him alone in Jack’s office in the first episode and he knows security codes ] and used that to his advantage. He’s clever and knows it.

Ianto Jones does not talk about his feelings. What he has with Jack is special and deep and they both show it using small touches and words that aren’t “I love you.” He’s emotionally repressed and insecure in thinking he loves Jack more than Jack loves him but would never actually talk to Jack about that straight up.

Ianto Jones is a sardonic and sarcastic little shit who makes witty one-liners that show his true cynicism

Ianto Jones has no faith in humanity. In Blind Summit he asks Yvonne “what’s the point of any of this?” On so many occasions [ Countrycide, Broken ] he’s forced to realise that human beings are just as monstrous as any alien threat they fight.

Ianto Jones is suicidal. Canonically he has contemplated/attempted taking his own life three times: Blind Summit and Broken makes references to him wanting to and we hear one attempt ourselves. He’s not happy for most of his life, he’s dealt with trauma and shit hand after shit hand until he’s on several occasions not wanted to deal with ANY of it anymore.

Yes, Ianto Jones wants to be a cool secret agent, and yes he has the skills to be. His specialty is weaponry, but he’s also incredibly intelligent when it comes to tech as well. Yes, he is a nerd. Yes, he falls in love very quickly and loves so deeply. Yes, he gets these huge heart eyes when he looks at Jack. Yes, he was once considered Yvonne’s conscience.

But, Ianto Jones is a complex and BROKEN human being. He is strong and stoic and probably forgets, himself, how young he is because he’s never actually gotten to be young. He’s a badass and an incredible field agent, who will also make the hard decisions necessary.

This is not very well written, I know, but I’m hoping it gets the point across. I know that Ianto gets projected onto a lot by fans, but try not to forget who he is as a canon character.

#torchwood #ianto jones #tw: suicide #tw: abuse #tw: alcholism #; anyway that’s my rant for the day.

352 notes · View notes

searching-for-arcadia · 3 years

Photo

Sea-Hearts by Margo Lanagan & Vita Nostra by Maryna and Serhiy Dyachenko

torchwood fanfic asks

9. AUs? what kind?

Edits aren’t quite responsive since they’re not quite AUs that I’d say I gravitate towards, but more AUs I’d love to see people’s take on (I’ll actually answer the question below).

First, Gwen as selkie (and not the Torchwood selkie which seems to be an opposite selkie) isn’t something I’ve seen done (though if you know of a fic that has done this, please send it my way!). There is something about the soulfulness of her eyes that says selkie to me. A little snippet of something for flavor:

Gwen loved Rhys. He was a much kinder man than the man whole stole her from the sea. He loved her because he loved her, not because he owned her. That was more than many mortal men could boast.

Second, I would love to see a Torchwood/Vita Nostra fusion where Tosh was recruited to the Institute of Special Technologies and goes through the terrifying transformation and education we witness in the novel, but ultimately rejects her place and her power. She retains her brilliance but is always a little afraid from that point on of what she is capable of of. A little snippet of flavor:

She built the sonic modulator with the same sick feeling in her stomach that she had carried with her when she first joined the Institute of Special Technologies. She remembered when she sleep deprivation was driving her to madness and incoherence; she remembered when her studies suffered and her mother was in a near fatal automobile accident. A reminder, her mentor had said, and an incentive to study harder. She remembered the horrible accidents that befell all her classmate’s family members (broken bones, heart attacks, just-too-coincidental deaths); remembered that they were all taken hostage, their families held as ransom or collateral, until the lessons overtook their senses and they fell into the heady trap of being powerful. She was careful, while building the sonic modulator, to not become too interested, to not let her sense of capability outstrip her sense of fear. She would not forget how to be human twice.

And to actually answer the questions. YES, I love AUs. Excluding my already professed love of Chosen One!Ianto and my continual insistence that everybody, Suzie included, should live, here are some of my favorite AUs (in general, I love things that decrease the stakes for everyone involved because these days I just want to be coddled and comforted):

1. Time Lord Tosh or Ianto: I just think Time Lord Tosh makes a whole lot of sense and that she would make a fantastic companion to the Doctor (regardless of whether she’s human or a Time Lord, so that’s another AU for you, Companion!Tosh). And of course, I love the different ways that people tackle Ianto and Jack after Ianto regains his Time Lord senses (Does he get over it by sheer force of will/love? Does Jack’s fixedness not bother him at all? Does he choose to live as a human because he can’t bear to be with Jack as a Time Lord and he also can’t bear to be without him?).

2. The Team in Boeshane: I love the idea of the whole team being taken by the Rift and dropped off in Boeshane, either with or without Jack and while past-Jack is there or not. I just love Jack’s mother taking members of the team in.

3. Harry Potter AUs: I think that it’s our prerogative to pry this universe out of J.K. Rowling’s hands, take the interesting bits, and then tell better stories in it. I headcanon Ianto as a Slytherin, Tosh as a Ravenclaw, Gwen as a Gryffindor, Owen as a Hufflepuff, and Jack as a Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, or Slytherin (depending on what happened to his family life prior to his sorting; if there are no incidents, Hufflepuff; if there was an incident with Gray, but his parent(s) didn’t reject him, Gryffindor; if there was an incident with Gray and he has a fraught or non-existent relationship with his parent(s), Slytherin).

4. Daemons AUs: I especially love Daemon AUs that keep the touching taboo and think about how the existence of daemons would impact modern life. I think that the existence of daemons also has interesting ramifications for Suzie and Ianto. Does Suzie persist with the glove even though it can’t bring back a person’s daemon? I think you could characterize her either way. Does Lisa retain her daemon despite her partial conversion? I tend to think so and that the persistence of her daemon is the reason why Ianto doesn’t give up; when her daemon disappears is when he knows its over even if he can’t accept it yet. I don’t have a lot of defined thoughts about the daemons I’d give the team except that usually, I think of Suzie with a bird, Ianto with a scavenger, and Gwen with a canine. Jack, Tosh, and Owen are more variable in my head. I would also love to see broader HDM AUs that take more of the universe than just the existence of daemons (give me witches and the science of dust).

5. Coffee Shop AUs: Kinda. I’ve never really been particularly into Coffee Shop AUs specifically, though I do love them in the general way that I love fluffy Torchwood-doesn’t-exist AUs (Jack is a traveling artist and Ianto his muse, Gwen is a legitimate psychic who consults with law enforcement, Rhys and Ianto run a restaurant together, Owen as the A&E doctor who treats Tosh after a welding accident, Jack is a sci-fi author and Ianto writes mysteries; the possibilities are endless!), but now I’m a bit of a coffee snob (this happened independent of Torchwood; I developed my coffee habit and snobbery years after watching Torchwood) and know people who roast coffee, so I just want to see more coffee geekery. I do wonder how blasphemous it would be to update Ianto’s coffee tastes to be more in line with third wave coffee roasting preferences/innovations (which was certainly alive and well in the 2000s, especially in certain cities, but hadn’t seemed to hit Cardiff yet).

6. Role Reversal AUs: For when I feel like keeping the stakes the same, I love AUs that put Ianto in charge of Torchwood Three by whatever twist of fate you’d like with Jack working under him. Sometimes he’s immortal (so he takes on Jack’s backstory minus the coming from the future bit), sometimes he’s not (he gets put into power before or after Canary Wharf, though after seems most likely). Sometimes Jack grew up on Earth (either because his entire backstory has been changed or he was taken by the Rift as a child) and sometimes he didn’t (he can still be immortal or he can be a stranded Time Agent/Time Agent in hiding).

7. Dogs AU: Honestly I can’t explain myself. It’s completely silly and I love it. I don’t know if I’ve seen one of these in the Torchwood fandom, but AU where the whole cast are dogs and they meet at a dog park or their humans are neighbors. Jack is a retired military dog. Ianto spent some time as a street dog, was rescued, then there was some incident that put him back on the street, before being adopted (possible by Jack’s human(s)). Gwen is a former police dog that was pulled to join an experimental medical program and she now spends her days sniffing out neurodegenerative diseases. Owen is a therapy dog; his humans don’t get it because he hates strangers, but it’s like he’s a different dog around those in need. Tosh is a scarily intelligent dog who is part of the cohort of animals that is being taught how to communicate using a speech board.

36 notes · View notes

lookturtles · 4 years

Text

‘Ianto! I need you!’ Jack yelled from the bedroom and Ianto sighed. Jack was sick with the flu, but he was being dramatic and acting like he was dying. He was 95.8% certain that if a bullet to the head couldn’t kill Jack than a flu wouldn’t do it either.

According to Jack, he had never been sick before because all sickness had been exterminated in the future.

Ianto poured coffee into Jack’s favorite mug, a blue mug with purple clown fish painted of it, and walked to the bedroom. The curtains in the room had been pulled shut and the light was dim. A large bed sat in the middle of the room.

Ianto walked across the room and stood next to the bed.

He sat the mug down on the end table near the bed and looked over at Jack; His forehead was glistening with sweat and his cheeks were pink.

He moved his hand and brushed it against Jack’s sweat damp hair.

A small, weak smile appeared on Jack face and his eyes fluttered close.

‘Feeling any better?’ Ianto asked as he reached for the coffee mug and pressed it to Jack’s lips.

Jack took a sip and groaned. ‘I’m feeling better now that I have coffee.’

Ianto smiled. ‘I always knew you only wanted me for my coffee,’ he said jokingly.

‘Not true. I also love your suits. Will you lay with me?’

‘Of course.

He stood up and loosened his tie and climbed into bed. He laid next to Jack. Jack rolled over and curled against Ianto. He used Ianto’s chest as a pillow and sighed with contentment. Ianto wrapped his arm around Jack and smiled.

Jack might be a drama queen, but it was worth it to be able to take care of him.

#torchwood #jack harckness #ianto jones #jack/ianto #jack x ianto

47 notes · View notes

diaryofriversong · 3 years

Text

WIP folder meme

tagged by @mnemosyne-musing thank you but also rip me bc i have so many

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

i'm gonna make two different posts bc otherwise this is gonna be even more of a mess than it already is sjdnfsjdfnsdj any Doctor Who related stuff will be here & fics from any other fandom will be posted on @carolinedhavernas bc Katie tagged me there for this anyway. also i stopped after i got to the beginning of last year bc there's way too many asjdfndj

doctor who

without hope

without witness

without reward

river12missy epilogue

river/[REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]/[REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] this love

10jacobi be as you’ve always been, be like the love that discovered sin

5ainley buttons undone

12dhawan pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings

12missy

river12missy i don’t know anything but i know i miss you

8river liv/helen

river12missy sleeptalking

13corsair avast ye

river12missy the 1

river12missy you drew stars around my scars, but now i’m bleeding

river12missy & when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies

river12missy love slipped beyond your reaches, i couldn’t give a reason

mysterio’s coffee emporium

river12missy sick day

river12missy & just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

jack/graham just let me know, i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around

8jacobi

jack/graham

jack12river i like you & i loved him, we could all be the best kind of friends

8corsair

river12missy the time travelers’ wife

river12missy corsair

xoxo sweetie

12missy

river12missy tonight is the night; i might have wasted the tears but i won’t waste the years

6ainley

13dhawan

barbara/ian time stops (& troubles are abandoned)

corsair bill 12

13corsair

8jacobi

war thoschei sanctuary

8lumiat of sweet dreams & mended hearts

12missy

11dhawan watching the stars slide down to reach their end

12dhawan a sweet sensation, no price too high (burning bridges elton)

12river

8lumiat illuminate

8jacobi sinner's lullaby

13dhawan screaming in the dark, i howl when we’re apart

12macqueen

river/missy soft touches of a ghost

barbara/ian turning in circles & blurring the lines

13dhawan

river/missy

corsair jacobi heist

12nardole

shalka

6ainley

it could be weird but i think i’m into it, you know i’m one for the overly passionate

wanna feel like i am floating instead of constantly exploding

trans ian

lumiat

dhawan

ten + one

head over heels

scongo

s10 rewrite

13 era rewrite

bi graham

i won’t be home for christmas

torchwood

owen/ianto

owen/tosh heartbeat

tosh/jack nightmares

owen/jack

torchwood three

intertwined

owen kisses

yvonne/andy

gallifrey

narvin romana

narvin/brax

gallifrey ot4 letters

leela/romana let’s build a world of daffodils that never fades & never dies

ot4

‘til death do us part

narvin groundhog day au

narvin brax

narvin romana

romana narvin

tagging @artemisery & anyone else who wants to do it

#ask meme #about me

2 notes · View notes

mistoelectra · 5 years

Text

Why Jack Harkness deserved better

I said I was going to write this so here it is

WHY JACK HARKNESS DESERVED BETTER (SPECIFICALLY FROM THE TENTH DOCTOR)

Okay, so this is something I’ve been meaning to write for a little while, because I’ve been rewatching New Who from the beginning, and Jack is probably one of my favourite characters, and seeing the way Ten acts towards him makes my heart hurt. It also makes me really wish they could have brought Jack back in to interact with other incarnations of the Doctor because I feel like seeing the different dynamics would have been really interesting (also let’s face it, John Barrowman would be hella up for it).

This is gonna primarily focus on Doctor Who events but draw on things from Torchwood because that obviously gave us a lot more info on Jack and his past. But also I’m not going to go too in depth with Torchwood stuff, because that’s a whole different essay with full in-depth vaguely shitty psychoanalysis (I have a degree but I am far from proficient).

Let’s start at the beginning with Jack’s first appearance in The Doctor Dances/The Empty Child, which are admittedly two of my favourite episodes of series 1. Admittedly, he does at first come off as cocky, brash, a little callous, and of course, a self-professed con-man and criminal. Except at the same time, we already get to see some of his heart. His cons are based selling space junk to (what seem to be) rather wealthy parties, then getting that junk destroyed before they find out what they’ve actually bought. He himself states that he believes the Chula ambulance was completely empty, so wouldn’t do any damage, and specifically programmed it so it wouldn’t hit anything living. While this doesn’t necessarily make things any more moral, it still says something about Jack. There are plenty who wouldn’t have even bothered to do that. There’s also the fact that he’s not doing it for money, but in an attempt to get back his stolen memories.

Continuing on, Jack rescues Rose and the Doctor from the hospital, proving further that he is not quite as callous as he might make out to be. Given he now knows they’re time agents, there’s technically nothing stopping him from just abandoning them and getting the hell out of this time period (except possibly his time agency training reminding him that he may have done fucked up and he needs to fix it). He almost immediately places his trust in the Doctor, jumps at the chance to help him, and when the time comes, he doesn’t even hesitate in getting the bomb (and don’t tell me he doesn’t know the risk to himself, because he totally does. He knows his chances of getting out of this are slim, but Jack Harkness is a self-sacrificing bastard if ever there was one).

(Brief sidetrack to Torchwood- Jack mentions in Countrycide (1x06) that he’s proficient in torture and once had a reputation as a go-to guy for getting answers, but it’s never really made clear when this occurred, or if it’s even truthful. Was it the Time Agency? Was it Victorian era Torchwood? Who knows?)

Next appearance. Boom Town. That interesting outfit choice. But that aside, this is where we get to see how smart Jack is. Sure, he’s from the future so he’s going to have knowledge that will sound impressive, but there’s also his plan to catch Margaret, which is pretty tactically sound. Again, Jack was a time agent, so he’s definitely not going to be just any old idiot, not to mention he was a soldier as well. We also see him working on the TARDIS, which is pretty much something we don’t really see other companions do much of in New Who, and certainly not in their third episode, which I think says a lot, both about Jack, and about the trust the Doctor now places in Jack.

The final two episodes. For one, and on a different tangent, Jack keeps a gun up his ass. Is this a common thing? Is this just so the Doctor can’t take it off him like he did before? How is this safe? For two, and on the same tangent, Jack stop groping the robots. Finally, can we appreciate how efficient Jack is? Sure, he’s a little confused at first, but he throws himself into the situation, lets them give him a few different outfits, then calmly takes them down, makes himself a gun and gets out of there without much hassle. His reaction to Rose’s ‘elimination’ absolutely breaks my heart just as much as the Doctor’s, because while the Doctor is just completely silent and lost looking, you can hear and see Jack absolutely going off in the background, lashing out. Similarly, his reaction upon realising that Rose is alive…just yes.

Second side track- how quickly did Jack get that TARDIS key? I mean, I know there were multiple adventures between episodes, but regardless, he had a key by Boom Town. That’s hella speedy.

And then there’s dealing with the daleks. Jack knows how big a deal this is, he was a time agent after all. One hit, that’s all it takes. The Doctor probably would have let him leave Satellite 5 if he’d asked, but he didn’t. He stepped up, almost certainly knowing he was going to die, but willing to do whatever he could to give the Doctor any little scrap of time he could. And he gets killed for it. And then he gets brought back to life, and he’s surrounded by dalek dust, and he gets to watch the TARDIS leave without him. And his expression is just so heartbroken, and it hurts so much. What is he thinking? Is he hoping they’ll come back for him? Does he think that they think he’s dead so they’ve left without him?

And this is the first of the Doctor’s assholery (albeit this is still 9 and not 10). He just abandons Jack, without any form of explanation as to what has just happened, on a satellite surrounded by dalek dust and corpses. While I appreciate all the Doctor was going through and the whole ‘Jack now makes me physically sick’ thing, like dude, c’mon, you owe him an explanation. He has literally just died for you, it’s the very least you can offer.

And then there’s all the shit Jack goes through before they reunite again. I could spend all day going into depth on this but let’s just summarise it: managing to get back to Earth, ending up in 19th century Cardiff, 150 years of waiting which include: dying a lot (like seriously, he has at least two separate times where people essentially kill him on repeat just because he can come back, don’t tell me that doesn’t have an effect on your psyche), being tortured, being more or less coerced into a job, two world wars, several lost loves, his boss killing the entire team and then himself, being forced into a leadership position that he does not want, recruiting his own team, Canary Wharf and Rose’s name on the list of the dead, Suzie, being shoved into the rift (Thanks Ianto), a cyberwoman in his own basement (Thanks Ianto), being blamed by his entire team for the faeries and Jasmine, watching another man out of his time kill himself and being unable to do anything but keep him company, watching one of his team more or less let a weevil attack him, being mutinied against and killed by a team member (Thanks Owen), and then getting his life energy devoured by a legitimate hell beast.

And then the Doctor shows up, and Jack runs for him, and the Doctor runs away. Nothing like a stinging sense of rejection and a jaunt to the end of the universe to help your self esteem. And pretty much the first thing the Doctor does is criticise him. And what’s worse is that the Doctor won’t even admit that he abandoned Jack. ‘Busy life. Moving on.’ It’s just such an incredibly callous statement that just completely ignores Jack’s feelings and just seems to treat him as a piece of trash to be discarded. And Jack would be wholly within his right to go off at the Doctor, but he doesn’t. Instead he asks about Rose, and there’s the hug, because he can just tell that the Doctor has something against him, but Rose is a somewhat neutral territory.

Cue the Doctor being blatantly rude to Jack for an entire scene about both his vortex manipulator and his abandonment, as well as making it more or less clear to Jack that he knew all along about Jack’s immortality. That him being left on the Game Station was no accident. And that’s just cold. And yet despite all this, the moment Jack’s with them again, the Doctor’s immediately controlling him. Dictating what he can and can’t do, and in all honesty, it feels very much like he’s still treating Jack as the brash playboy he knew in his last regeneration? Like he can’t see just how much Jack has changed since they last met, how he’s most certainly not the same man he was. He also willingly throws Jack into a situation which is dangerous and will probably cause him pain (don’t tell me that radiation chamber didn’t cause Jack pain. Just because it can’t kill me doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt) just because he knows Jack will do anything for him (and also Jack would probably volunteer anyway because he’s that sort of person). And he admits to Jack’s face that he’s known all along, that he ran away from him. He point blank tells Jack to his face that he’s wrong and that he can hardly bear to look at him, without so much as a thought to how that’s bound to feel. Asks Jack if he wants to die. The whole conversation just makes me feel on edge because it does not feel at all like a healthy friendship.

Then, when Jack tells him he’s with Torchwood, there’s the Doctor’s reaction, and it’s just so vehement. His lack of belief in Jack is just heartbreaking, because it’s such a switch from his relationship with the 9th Doctor. It’s like Jack isn’t a companion to him anymore, but more of a sort of tool. And in the Year That Never Was, we pretty much get implied that Jack gets repeatedly tortured and killed for at least the third time in his existence, over and over for an entire year. It seems pretty likely too that the Master probably executes the rest of the Torchwood team too, probably using them in an attempt to break Jack. Sure, it all gets reversed, but it clearly fucks with Jack (and we can see that in Torchwood series 2). But Jack holds up the brave front, destroys the paradox machine. And you can bet it probably hurt him like hell when the Doctor mentions keeping the Master in the TARDIS, because it kinda seems like he’d rather have the Master there than Jack. And sure, he offers to let Jack come with him, but I feel like it’s an empty offer. He knows that Jack has found something else in their time apart, knows he’s probably not going to accept. And then of course, he breaks Jack’s vortex manipulator. While I do understand this, it also makes me sad, because if he’d at least left the teleport function working, there’s a chance that Owen and Tosh could have been saved.

Jump to their next reunion after Jack has faced the following: dealing with the psychological trauma from all the shit that just happened to him, losing Owen, bringing him back, finding his long lost little brother and being stabbed by him then buried under Cardiff for nearly 2000 years, being frozen for like a century, having to stop his little brother, losing Tosh, losing Owen again. And when the world needs saving, Jack doesn’t hesitate to jump straight in, especially once they get through to the Doctor, even though he is quite clearly terrified of the daleks. He’s the only one to actually be somewhat calm and methodical when the Doctor is shot. In the dalek ship, he willingly sacrifices himself in order to be able to explore the ship more and find some way to help them. But the moment he starts making threats, there’s the Doctor’s disapproval back again. But they do it, they save the world, they go home.

And then Children of Earth happens. Jack’s entire world shatters. He loses Ianto. He has to sacrifice his own grandson to save the world. The Doctor is nowhere in sight. Jack leaves Earth, crushed. And the Doctor does his little journey through the companions to say goodbye. He saves Martha and Mickey. He gives the scratch card for Donna. He saves Luke for Sarah Jane. He visits Rose just to see her again.

And Jack?

He gives Jack Alonso. And maybe it’s just me, but I find it wholly uncomfortable. It’s a possibility the Doctor doesn’t know about the whole affair with the 456 and what Jack went through, or that he more specifically doesn’t know about Jack’s losses. But it’s also possible that he does. And he feels like the best thing he can do is to essentially offer him a shag. Even though he’s very clearly heavily grieving (No hate to Alonso, I love him) and has just lost someone he deeply loved. It feels like further confirmation of the fact that Ten still sees him as the playboy he was. Because let’s face it, Jack still flirts like a champ, but Torchwood very much paints him as that only extending to his flirting. Any further seems to fall exclusively within having relationships, which are considerably infrequent in the series (with Estelle, Angelo, Lucia and Ianto seeming to be the principal partners in his life over his 150 years). To be fair, this ‘gift’ to Jack doesn’t really seem so much an asshole move, as just Ten no longer understanding Jack, not in the way he used to.

But yeah, this got kinda longer than I initially expected and could probably do with severe editing but oh well, here it is in it’s entirety anyway.

253 notes · View notes

its-just-q · 4 years

Text

i finished s2! finally! so uh, mad spoilers ahead for that ig

so ummmmmm holy shit. i liked tosh and owen's death scene bc of the "you're breaking my heart" moment. it made me dfvsshkjvnfskkgsfkv ya know. and tosh's death message?? "i hope i did good"???? uGH wow. ik it's farfetched, but i like to think that tosh and ianto are good friends out of work (we dont see it bc they're both pretty professional and reserved), and tosh left ianto a lil message on his laptop.

and the thing w grey?? kinda fishy idk. first, he looked like tobias from divergent and i kept getting sidetracked thinking abt that. second,,,,,,,,,,, why? like, why? why he gotta be evil?? ik they needed a big Villáin for the s2 finale, and jack's ex (?) in the ugly marching band jacket said that he found grey earlier in the season, but. just,, could we give jack a break? please?? he's a dick but he still needs a break. and idk if this is just me having another Dumbass Moment, but i think the reason grey hates jack is so fucking dumb. ya, he let go of his hand. bc he thought grey could follow him. or maybe he just let go accidentally. imo it would've happened whether grey was holding jack's hand or not.

i do think its cool that john hart and his ugly marching band jacket are staying in cardiff. hopefully 1) he'll change his clothes and 2) we'll get to see some top tier shenanigans sometime.

i also watched the first ep of s3! and since im a doctor who fan first and foremost: aw yeahhhh twelve's there!! ik the bbc just likes to reuse actors, but im still happy abt that.

the exploration of ianto and jack's relationship is fucking gorgeous. i thought we'd just get occasional moments like we have in the past, but rn it's fucking constant. im drowning in the sappiness and im so happy abt it.

and the scene where rhiannon's like "dont worry, i'll keep it a secret," and then her husband walks in and goes "ay, gayboy!" to ianto is so relatable. the way he just glares at rhiannon, like ":/ really??" me too dude.

i already know that ianto dies in a place called the thames house, and i think that name was mentioned in this episode, so um yikes. i reckon he's gonna die in the season finale tho, so we got a bit of time left. and uh, how is there another season after that?? its just jack and gwen?? god i hope we get a parallel ending to jack's past torchwood team tho. like, ianto dies and jack just sort of loses his spark. but both him and gwen carry on bc the planet still needs protecting. gwen knows that they're both being run ragged, bc of the absence of their most efficient team member. so she hires a new recruit who's suited for the job. things run as smoothly as they could in that situation, but the New One (dunno what to call them) comes back to the hub one night to find jack sitting next to gwen's corpse. she's bleeding from a bullet wound in her head. jack's staring down at something resting in his lap, apathetic as ever. the new recruit is horrified.

"sir? what happened? is that- is that gwen?"

jack looks up at the new recruit. he looks very, very tired.

"it was a mercy killing. change is coming, and we're not ready. we'll never be ready." he says, and stands up. a piece of alien-looking tech clatters to the floor. the new recruit freezes, but jack doesn't do anything except walk past them and out of the hub with an air of finality.

sorry, i got carried away. ik that lil thing didnt make much sense (im not really a writing person) but im just sayin, if we get a sad ending, i want some sick parallels in the meantime.

anyway those are my disjointed thoughts on torchwood!! feel free to discuss, and if anyone knows how to do the "read more" thing on mobile, please tell me lol.

#torchwood #torchwood liveblog #capt jack harkness #gwen #ianto #owen #tosh #grey #john hart and his ugly marching band jacket #long post #like. this is truly a long ass post

6 notes · View notes

my-soliloquy-chamber · 4 years

Text

Meet the crew - Part 3

Here’s Thomas, he’s eaten something bad and feels really sick. That’s why he has that strategic bucket nearby.

This is my right hand gunner, Ianto. He’s also Welsh.

Sometimes we speak Welsh when we’re sailing and it irritates Adé because he can’t understand us. I guess he feels left out. I do try to remember, because I really don’t want Adé to feel unwelcome or unhappy on this ship. He’s really important, I need him.

Lastly there’s Tendjai, sitting there waiting for his punishment, and next to him is Nicolás. He’s just watching him so he doesn’t fall overboard or something.

Tendjai was drunk really early this morning so I have to punish him, it’s in the sailor rules. I’m not sure why it’s so bad to be drunk early in the morning, but not at any other time of day. But I don’t make the sailor rules, I just enforce them.

So, that’s it for the crew. Well... that’s it for the crew I’ve comissioned portraits of. There are 22 more crewmen, but portrait painters are expensive, ok?

Anyway, thanks for checking out the ship and my crew. We have to cast off now, so you have to leave.

Bye! Take care! I hope you don’t get the pox!

#edward kenway #adewale #jackdaw #assassin's creed black flag #ac4 #assassin's creed #ac 4 #ac black flag #ac4 npc #meet the crew #procrastination with npcs #assassin’s creed fanfiction #assassin’s creed fic #string words into stories

2 notes · View notes

gmariam321 · 4 years

Text

Christmas Kitsch

I finished my holiday story! And I’m posting it here since I shared so many excerpts. And so I can work up the courage to put it on AO3, although it won’t be my worst holiday story there. Still, it’s not what I envisioned when I started, as the dark twist (and two half chapters) were tabled for another story. I do hope someone enjoys a laugh or two. Happy Holidays!

Christmas Kitsch

Jack was tired of running.

Once, it had been fun. That had been with the Doctor, always running from danger. It had been adventurous, exciting—even back when the possibility of death had been very real. He hadn't been scared because he'd been with the Doctor, and somehow the Doctor always made things right. "Everybody lives!" he'd exclaim, and they were off on the next adventure.

Jack knew better now. After over a hundred years, he knew that not everybody lived, and he was tired of it. Running wasn't fun, or exciting. It was endless and terrifying and Jack was tired of running.

Especially running after alien elves stealing every Santa Claus in the city.

Ridiculous.

Jack had lived through some tough holidays: wars, epidemics, that one year with his in-laws. He'd watched London experience some strange Christmases, even sat back and laughed a few times. But this one…this was just absurd. If it hadn't been Christmas and he hadn't had plans with Ianto, it might have been somewhat funny, but even Owen was sick of trying to make elf jokes after spending twelve hours chasing the damn things around town on Christmas Eve.

Who stole Santa Claus? Only aliens. And they looked like something straight out of a Marks and Spencer catalog from Mars. Smartly dressed right down to the shiny boots and matching hats, they were more high society teenaged sprites than overworked elves from the North Pole. Jack wanted them gone.

They were fast, and sneaky, and they had a mischievous streak a mile long. They were obsessed with Santa Claus, and every statue, doll, picture or light-up monstrosity in the city had been targeted, with dozens gone missing. Even a few real-life Santas had been harassed. But they were finally closing in, and Jack hoped that within an hour the elves be in the cells so he could finally put on his holiday jumper, take it off, and start celebrating properly with Ianto.

Then again, things never went as hoped in Torchwood.

Tosh was the first to go down. They were tracking the elves through the first floor of Queen's Arcade. It was dark and silent aside from the sad notes of a music box playing Wham from somewhere in Argos. They walked with weapons drawn, constantly scanning for elves, until something came flying at them from above and hit Tosh hard on the head; she fell immediately, landing awkwardly on her arm and hitting her head again. Owen called out and they immediately surrounded their downed teammate while he examined her.

"She's out cold," Owen announced. "And she fell on her arm, wrist looks broken or sprained. I should get her back to the Hub."

"What happened?" asked Gwen.

"This," Owen replied, and he held up a large ceramic St Nicholas with a crack in it. "It's a bloody Christmas ornament."

"Ornaments don't usually knock people out," said Jack.

"Apparently solid ones thrown with enough force can," Owen replied, tossing it up to Jack; it was hideous and heavy. "These buggers must be strong. Where the hell did it come from?"

"John Lewis," said Ianto, shrugging when everyone looked at him. "Saw them there last week."

"Who were you shopping for in John Lewis?" Gwen asked with a teasing smile. Jack rolled his eyes before Ianto could even start to reply.

"Later, Gwen. We need to focus." He glanced around the arcade, checking the upper level. He didn't want to abandon the chase, but he didn't want to leave Tosh unconscious and alone either.

"Let's head to the SUV, and you can take her back to the Hub," Jack decided, and he picked her up. "Cover me from more Santa bombs."

Gwen took point while Ianto followed behind, walking backward to cover them. Owen walked beside Jack, protecting Tosh, until something wet and sticky exploded nearby with a squelching sound. Once more the team closed in, protecting Jack and Tosh. But it was Owen who was hit this time.

"Bloody hell, it's a pudding," he said. "I'm covered in a fucking Christmas pudding."

"Probably got that at Waitrose," Ianto said, his weapon trained on the upper level once more. An evil sounding giggle echoed around them.

"They're shit, Rhys's mum got one last year," Gwen said.

"Would you two stop it with the shopping tips?" Jack snapped. "Let's move, before we're all Christmas casualties."

Ianto and Gwen remained thankfully quiet, and they made it out to the SUV without any more attacks. Tosh came to as Jack laid her down in the back seat. She saw Owen, covered in sticky fruit, and frowned. "Why are you covered in pudding?"

"Same reason you've got a sore head," he said. "Which is also why we get a break from elf wrangling."

Though he didn't see him, Jack could feel Ianto rolling his eyes somewhere behind him. "They're not actually elves, Owen. "

"Whatever, shop boy. They look like elves and are obsessed with Santa. Good enough for me."

Ianto gave an overdramatic sigh laced with long suffering impatience. "They're called Dryadalis. They're from the planet Aquilo, and they worship an ancient deity dressed in red furs known as Paternivei. They're not stealing Santa, they're releasing the icons of their god from bondage."

Jack and Gwen turned and stared at him in disbelief. "You're joking," said Gwen.

"I don't joke about aliens." Jack suspected he was making it all up, but while Ianto had an impressive poker face, he did know everything, so it could be completely true.

"How do you know all that?" demanded Owen. "And why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"Haven't had a chance 'till now," Ianto replied. "And it was in a Torchwood One file. Always interesting in London at Christmas."

"You're taking the piss," Owen insisted.

"Maybe," said Ianto. "And maybe they shit marshmellows."

Once again Jack stepped in; apparently his team was feeling the holiday stress, if Ianto's sky high sass was anything to go by. "Whatever they are, let's finish this. Owen, you and Tosh go back to the Hub, get fixed up, and meet us wherever we tell you to meet us."

"Will do, boss," said Owen, and he threw the SUV into reverse and sped away. Gwen turned to Ianto.

"Are they really called Dryadalis?" she asked. "Or were you trying to get one over on Owen?"

"I wasn't trying," Ianto replied, and left it at that. Jack was still not sure whether the other man was pulling one over on them all. He shook his head; he'd have to pry it out of Ianto later, preferably under some mistletoe.

"Back to chasing elves, kids," he said. "Before Christmas is ruined for all of Cardiff."

"If they've moved on to stealing puddings, I think we're better off," Ianto murmured.

"Not if we're all wearing one. Let's move out."

"Good plan," said Ianto. "Where to?"

Jack checked his wrist strap; he could track the elves unique energy signature, and it was heading toward Cardiff Castle. They started with a fast walk, and then a slow run. As they dashed across Castle Street, they saw that the main entrance had been broken open.

Jack tapped his earpiece. "Tosh, Owen," he snapped. "They've got onto the castle grounds. Tell the authorities we're on it and to keep the area clear."

"I'll call them right now, Jack," Tosh said. "Be careful."

"Watch out for fruitcakes," added Owen.

They burst through the tunnel entrance and stopped as something hit Jack in the chest and exploded in a cloud of dust. Looking down, he saw glitter everywhere—his coat, his pants, his shoes. He even spit some out of his mouth.

"Very Elton John," said Ianto.

"To the left!" said Gwen, and she took off toward the castle apartments. As she ran past the trees, one of the aliens leapt out and tackled her. Jack skidded to a stop, Ianto beside him, their weapons drawn as Gwen wrestled with an alien elf.

"Shoot it!" she shouted as they rolled across the pavement and into the cold, wet and unusually muddy grass.

"I can't!" Jack shouted. It latched onto her ankle and bit down hard; she kicked it off with her other foot, but it pounced on her back and they rolled around some more. "Stop moving!"

A shot rang out and the elf collapsed on top of Gwen, both of them covered in mud. Jack turned to Ianto, who met his gaze and raised an eyebrow; Jack half expected him to blow smoke off the tip of his gun.

"Sorted," said Ianto.

Jack frowned, opened his mouth, then shut it with another shake of his head and ran over to Gwen, putting the incredibly sexy image of Ianto and his smoking gun from his head. He heaved the alien off Gwen and grinned.

"People would pay good money to watch mud wrestling like that," he said. She glared at him as he helped her stand, only for her to stumble against him, her leg clearly giving out where the elf had got her.

"Shit, my ankle," she said. "Go, get the bastards."

Ianto was already running toward the keep. Jack sprinted to catch up with him, glitter trailing behind him, and they skidded to a halt as a small spacecraft materialized at the base of the hill. Ianto swore under his breath as a hatch opened on the bottom. Jack agreed with him, as spaceships in the city were a never a good thing. They raised their weapons and waited.

A black boot appeared, and another, followed by red trousers trimmed in white fur.

"I have a bad feeling about this," said Jack.

"Welcome to the Twilight Zone," murmured Ianto.

Several elves sprinted down from the castle, crowding around the figure standing before them. He appeared human, with a truly frightening tangle of white beard. He was large, at least seven feet tall, and exceptionally rotund. Beneath a red cap, a pair of startling green eyes pierced the night as the elves chittered at him.

The figure—alien? human? Father Christmas? – spoke in a language Jack did not recognize. Ianto, however, cocked his head.

"It's Paternivei," he murmured. Jack turned to him in surprise.

"I thought you were making it up," he said.

"You think I could make this up?" Ianto gestured at the site before them as the elves emptied their bags of stolen goods: dozens, if not hundreds, of statues, dolls, and pictures of Santa Claus. They chittered at the large figure in red some more, and he smiled benevolently down upon them, until two more appeared with the body of the elf Ianto had shot off Gwen. The alien frowned, and sent the elves back into the ship with their comrade. With a wave of his hand, the stolen goods disappeared. He took two steps closer.

"You have wronged my children," he said. "They only wished to remedy the sacrilege done to my image. None should have died."

"They attacked us!" Jack protested. "They hurt three of my team." He was counting Owen's pride among the injuries. "They stole from my people."

"My child is dead," the alien said. "You must pay the honor price."

"We hold no such debt," Ianto told him, his voice strong and stubborn. "We were defending our own. You have no right to come here and tarnish our traditions."

"Your traditions make a mockery of our world!" the alien hissed. "And for that you deserve to be punished."

He raised his arms and flung his hands down, and two projectiles flew from his wrists. One impaled itself in Jack's left shoulder; the other buried itself in Ianto's right. Both were large, glass candy canes.

"The honor debt is paid," said the alien. "We will not return to your world. You are crude and ignorant savages." He turned and returned to the ship. The hatch closed, hundreds of multi-colored lights came on, and without warning it ascended into the sky, leaving behind a burned ring of grass in the shape of a wreath.

Ianto grimaced at the candy cane sticking out from his shoulder. "Bollocks," he said. He tapped his earpiece. "Owen, Gwen's down and Jack and I got hit by candy canes. We need you at the castle." He didn't even bother to listen for a response.

"They're on their way," Ianto said. He watched in disgust as Jack pulled the glass from his shoulder. "You're going to bleed out, you know."

"It's not that bad," Jack said, but his coat was quickly soaking through with blood. "I'm sorry we didn't get to celebrate Christmas," Jack said. "At least, in the normal way."

"This is normal," Ianto replied. "For Torchwood."

"Most people don't get impaled on Christmas."

"Well, last year you were asphyxiated," he pointed out. "Less fumes, more blood."

"And already healing," Jack said, feeling the hole in his shoulder knit together. It burned like hell, but he rolled his arm a few times and stretched it out. "How about you?"

"Stitches and a sore shoulder from Santa, just what I always wanted," Ianto replied. He was even more sarcastic when he was in pain. "Maybe I'll get a fashionable sling for Christmas."

"Not from me," said Jack. "I got you a real gift."

"Then I guess I'll have to return the fake one I bought you."

Jack laughed for the first time that night. "I'll take what I can get. Come on, let's go check on Gwen."

"What about that ring?" Ianto motioned toward the burnt grass before turning away. "And the lights? Usual story?"

"We can come up with something," Jack told him. Ianto stumbled and Jack put an arm around Ianto's other shoulder to help him.

"How about Santa and his elves running around Cardiff, throwing glitter, puddings, and candy canes around? No one would ever believe it." Jack laughed again as they found Gwen sitting on a nearby bench, covered in mud and talking on her mobile. Jack guided Ianto to sit down beside her, then glanced around the castle grounds.

"Definitely a Christmas to remember," he said.

"Better than almost jumping off a roof," Ianto murmured, and Jack nodded in agreement even though he hadn't been in London for that one.

"Rhys says he'll meet us at the Hub with pizza and beer," Gwen announced. "And clean clothes." "Owen's on his way," Jack told her. "Are you two doing all right?"

"I got stabbed by Father Christmas," said Ianto, the sarcasm so dry it was combustible.

"I got bit by an elf," said Gwen

"Tie?" Ianto suggested. She nodded and they exchanged a high five.

"This would make a good story," said Jack. "Or maybe a comic book."

Gwen and Ianto burst out laughing, but Jack decided it was their injuries. It would certainly make a good write up for the captain's log. He'd call it Christmas Kitsch and put it in a card to the queen with a picture of the team. Torchwood - for Queen and Country and Christmas.

* * *

Author's Note:

Well thank gosh it's done! So this started out as something quite different: Ianto got hit by the candy cane and died! What! I wrote half the second chapter and half the third chapter before deciding it was utterly ridiculous and let him live. So you're welcome, although it feels slightly more ridiculous now. And if you're disappointed in Ianto's fate here, I'm sure I'll kill him at some point as I have some decent deleted material to rework. Thanks for reading and happy holidays!

#Torchwood #Jack #Ianto #Gwen #Tosh #Owen #fanfiction #gmariam #christmas kitsch #christmas #alien elves

16 notes · View notes