#AHAHAHAHAHAH FUCK YEAH
Note
*you find an old looking book on your nightstand by your bed, you don't think you have ever seen it before*
-@the-bound-demon
*I slowly pick it up and look through it*
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
not my sunbro...
damn you miyazaki...
#i'm so sorry my friend... it was for your sake...#given that this is dark souls i should have seen it coming but man...#HIS DEATH DIALOGUE NOOO#you should have found your sun my friend...#not a fucking bug#SERIOUSLY SOLAIRE DYING BECAUSE OF A BUG???????#were you that desperate?#oh god i feel terrible#later i had to go to anor londo to try to find something and seeing that area around the bonfire completely desolate without solaire there#it was so fucking depressing#AND I SAW LIKE 3 DIFFERENT MESSAGES SAYING 'tears?' LIKE YEAH NO SHIT#so i left one too :')#*sigh* i miss him already#i keep letting characters die and now firelink shrine is more of a grave than a nice safe sanctuary to chat with npcs#(haha funny there's an actual graveyard there haha oh god)#ouch i just remembered that i kinda let larentius hollow#god he was so nice too#he literally trusted me with a part of himself dude wth i feel horrible#the fromsoft experience™#i remember when i felt terrible for getting the immortal severance ending in sekiro#NOT MY BOI KURO DAMNIT#and wolf becoming a sculptor like the proof of an endless cycle of suffering that i failed to break...#god i hate that ending#*sigh* back to ds1 at least siegmeyer is still alive and jolly as ever#except he met me at firelink and said he was going somewhere and now i'm terrified that's he's just gonna die too ahahahahahah help#NOT YOU TOO ONIONBRO STAY ALIVE OR I'LL... I'LL KILL YOU#...sorry for venting in the tags#AND THE WORST OFFENDER IS THAT I HAD TO KILL HIM MYSELF FUCK#i'm so sorry my friend... my sunbro...#dark souls
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Y'ALL THEY HAVE ANNOUNCED THE LAST RONIN LIVE-ACTION R-RATED MOVIE WTF!!!!!! I THOUGH IT WAS A PRANK (for some reason i couldn't believe my eyes) BUT NOOOOOOO IT'S NOT OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOD
#Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles#The Last Ronin#Mikey 🧡#OH MY FUCKING GOD#I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱#I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PROCESS THIS!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH#WOW I..I...DON'T HAVE WORDS ANYMORE I THINK🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#I'M EXITED BUT SCARED AT THE SAME TIME (FOR THE LIVE-ACTION ASPECT) BUT YEAH STILL VEEEEEEERRRYYYYYY EXITED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
1 note
·
View note
Text
when do you gaze at your soul mate ??
when they're working
see this is what you love most. their eyes light up and no one can do it quite like them. whether they are a fighter or a healer. whether they are full of grace and gentle poise, or brute strength and wild energy, you love them when they are at their purest form. raw and unfettered. unadulterated by social cues and careful masks we all wear. when they are just them, trusting their instincts, using their experience, relying on the skills they earned. this is when you heart swells with pride. and you can never decide if you want to interrupt them and draw them into your arms with a hungry, appreciative kiss. or if you could sit there and quietly observe them for hours with more satisfaction than anything physical could bring.
stolen from: @spxnglr + @aercnaut
tagging: you, right there. mwah
#✦ — • headcanon •#✦ — • dash games •#// ahahahahahah#// ... fuck#// but yeah#// she loves seeing her partners at work and in the zone
1 note
·
View note
Text
ishq wala love !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're the blueprint for true love and everyone's in love with their love.
or
for when you find a love that feels like love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - im back (im so sorry) i really hope u like it <3 thank you so much for reading, i love you <3
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by kiaraaliaadvani, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 968,426 others
yourusername ishq wala love ( love like love )
tagged charles_leclerc
13,627 comments
username OH MY GOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username no one's doing it like them
username PARENTS
username rab ne bana di jodi ( god made this match )
username AHHHHHSHSHDHDBXJJD
username not me having a heart attack every time they post together 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
carmenmmundt 💓
*liked by yourusername*
username BF!CHARLES IS SUCH A BLESSING
username the way he looks at her ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
username ahahahahahah!!!!! what if i took a nap on the highway!!!!!!!!
username MY parents 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
username y/n finally found her ishq wala love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
kiaraaliaadvani my loves 💐💒
-> yourusername we miss you ❤️🩹😭
-> charles_leclerc visit soon and bring sid. PLEASE.
-> sidmalhotra just booked the tickets 🫡🙏
username sid and charles being friends is what i NEED
-> username i just know that they're two dumbasses without a single braincell between them
*liked by yourusername and kiaraaliaadvani*
username IM GONNA CRY THEY'RE SO PRETTY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username mother and father slaying as always
username off topic but she's the reason charles' fashion sense is 🔛🔝
-> username nah my girlie gave him an upgrade frrrr 😭😭😭😭😭
username y/n tere vaste falak se bhi chand launga just one chance pls ( i will get the moon for you )
charles_leclerc still don't understand what that means but ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
-> yourusername it means a love that's like love
-> charles_leclerc yeah that makes complete sense 👍
charles_leclerc mon soleil ( my sun )
-> yourusername meri jaan ❤️ ( my life )
username i know charles manifested this i cannot believe that my love would get wooed by a driver like just say the word and i'll be driving taxis in mumbai
username IM SO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 875,486 others
charles_leclerc joyeux anniversaire mon soleil 💌 here's to spending my life with you under the sun. ( happy birthday my sun )
tagged yourusername
6,628 comments
username SHE'S SO PRETTY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username charles watch your fucking back
username SHE'S SO SUNSHINE GIRLY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username my bi awakening fr
username im so.
lewishamilton happy birthday y/n 💐 !!!
*liked by yourusername*
username "mon soleil" can you hear me crying.
username they're MY emotional support couple
username IF they ever break up i will simply stop believing in love 💔💔💔💔💔
-> username don't say a word.
username she's so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
username im in awe like WOAHHHHHHHHH
carla.brocker happy happy happy birthday to my best friend for like ever 🍧💓 cannot wait to see you <3 !!
-> yourusername carla 😭😭😭 i love you thank you so much ❤️ i cannot wait to see u tonight <3
username HER SMILE IS EVERYTHING
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username they make me so happy
username IM SO normal about this OKAY?????? SOOOO normal
username me and who lolololol (this is not a joke im gonna cry)
username they're so in love i could cry 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
arthur_leclerc maman says that you cannot hog her the whole day and she wants to go shopping with her belle-fille ( daughter in law )
-> charles_leclerc she's literally my girlfriend
username charles' entire family loving her is so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username ME WHEN.
username screaming crying throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head ripping my hair yelling kicking
username nice. (im gonna SCREAM)
yourusername i love you so much <3
-> charles_leclerc i love you so much more <3
-> yourusername ❤️
-> charles_leclerc ❤️❤️
-> yourusername ❤️❤️❤️
-> charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️❤️
-> yourusername ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
yourusername thank you so much jaan, i appreciate it sooo much 😭💌 ( darling )
-> charles_leclerc anything for my love ❤️💐
username god has a lot to answer for.
username im so
username THEY'RE LITERALLY CALLING ME SINGLE IN 63726282726 LANGUAGES
#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc instagram au#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc fluff
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
Asmi my dear, have you ever folded a fitted bedsheet?
I... I have tried to. We do not talk about about my level of success or lack thereof.
What--why is this a question? Is this your suggestion for Patreon content that I make? Just me losing my mind over trying to fold a fitted bedsheet? Because if so, while I don't doubt this sadistic fandom will find it amusing, the Patreon thing sounds like even more of a terrible idea.
Realistic image of what would happen:
HELLO MAGGOTS I'M GOING TO FOLD THIS FITTED SHEET FOR MONEY HOW IS THIS MY LIFE NOW. Okay really carefully like one bit after another. IKEA I believe in you surely you made this sheet foldable. I'm gonna just... uh... tuck in the corner.
Okay that didn't work.
FUCKING HELL STAY IN PLACE I JUST WANT TO TURN YOU OVER IN HALF. SWEDEN YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS JUST LET ME FOLD THE GODDAMN THING IN HALF. FITTED SHEET MORE LIKE SHITTED FEET AMIRITE AHAHAHAHAHAH FUCKING FOLD GODDAMMIT STAY CORNERED SO I CAN PRETEND YOU'RE AN ORDINARY SHEET.
I feel like there was a tutorial on Pinterest and this had a technique but we all know I forgot it as soon as I saw it. Besides now it's outright war between me and you, you shitted feet, and I will not be conquered by an IKEA sheet.
WE'RE NOT INVADING DENMARK ANYMORE WE'RE INVADING SWEDEN IKEA YOU COULD HAVE MADE THIS A LITTLE EASIER. I KNOW ALL FITTED SHEETS ARE LIKE THIS BUT I'M CHOOSING TO BLAME SWEDEN BECAUSE THIS ONE IS FROM IKEA.
AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH IF TIME IS MONEY IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST ME LESS TO GO BUY A MATTRESS AND JUST STORE THE FITTED SHEET AROUND A MATTRESS.
MAYBE I CAN JUST CRUMPLE IT UP AND TOSS IT SOMEWHERE.
Wait no you guys paid for me to fold it.
SEE THIS IS THE ISSUE WITH CAPITALISM I AM A SLAVE TO THE DAILY GRIND--
I hate how vividly I pictured that. And yeah. My internal monologues do actually sound like that.
@howmanyholesinswisscheese maybe if you'd been less vanilla mum wouldn't have left you and then I'd know how to fold a fitted sheet. @arkytiorlecter you failed me too. @obsessed-sketches Dear Dr Leo, my family did not teach me to fold fitted sheets. What do I do?
#shitpost#IS THIS WHAT YOU'D CALL A SHEET POST#OR A FIT POST#weirdly specific but ok#asmi#good omens mascot#now in the business of folding fitted sheets#maggots#fitted sheets#ikea#about... fitted sheets?#shitposting#what am i doing#idk man#this is just#HOW DID I END UP HERE#the fam#dear dr leo
66 notes
·
View notes
Note
reader is stronger than the us marines having to hear that he got vanessa’s number the morning after…somebody spay that man
SOMEBODY SP-AHAHAHAHAHAH
i feel like i ought to remind everyone that dude didn’t think much of it (macfrog 2023, l. 181-2) and likely thought he was merely reconnecting with an old friend from a past life. and then, yeah, admittedly he did fuck it by taking her out on a date. but his INTENTIONS WERE PURE I SWEAR
#he thought he was just a single dude out there living his life#and vanessa is hot let's be real who wouldn't want a second chance#chats w max#anon#sweet child o' mine
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm only six minutes into Etho’s new secret life episode, but the moment he started singing a song about Bdubs I had to take a step back and see what was going on in Tumblr xD
NO YEAH WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AHAHAHAHAHAH
i'm never gonna be able to forget this i think it's just permanently seared into my eyeballs
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Little Gamer Boy
vox akuma x reader
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sweetheart?"
You call out into a seemingly empty apartment. Removing you shoes at the door, you proceed to checkout the room you share with your boyfriend.
As you get closer and closer you hear the clacking of the keys on his keyboard.
"RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! Fuck yeah that has to be play of the game"
You smile to yourself.
*He's playing OW2 again, silly boy*
In all honesty, you were happy that your dear boyfriend, Vox, gets to do what he loves for a living. Recently he's been really enjoying Overwatch 2 and has been playing it a lot with co-workers. But sometimes Vox forgets that he's not as young as he used to be and plays the game for hours on end. Which is where you come in. Constantly reminding him that he needs to step away from the monitor for a bit, something he's very grateful for.
Back to the present, you’re just watching him by the door frame. Enjoying his little expressions on his face.
He’s so cute”, you mumble to yourself.
As the game progresses his expressions change though. Turning a bit more sour and negative, even his aura feels a bit heavy.
“NO!NO!NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. You rat bastard! We almost had them! Turn my dick into a straw you dimwit.”
Sometimes the words that come out of his mouth are too funny. You can’t help but chuckle a little.
“Oh fuck it. I need to touch grass. Bye guys.” He angrily took of his headphones as he said his goodbyes.
“Ugh, fucking hell.” He groans with hands to his face. He finally notices your presence, and turns slowly to you.
“Hi, Voxxy.” you say with a bit of a chuckle at the end.
“Hello, my love. Were you here the whole time?”
You nod.
“I’m sorry you had to see me being such a little shit.” He finally removes his hands from his face and looks at your with defeated eyes.
You walk slowly to him, trying your best not to burst out laughing.
“Babe, we’ve been together so long. I’ve seen you be a little shit multiple times, nothing new.” You say as you bring his head a bit closer to your tummy.
“I know, but still. We had them you know, they got Voxxy’s dragon wrath but still lost. Hackers I tell you. It wasn’t even ranked but the enemies were so cracked.” He says as he pulls you tighter and mumbles into your tummy.
“Ha,” you start to laugh.
“Is my misery bringing you some sort of amusement my dear?” He looks up to you and proceeds to raise and eyebrow. He had the most serious look on his face that you couldn’t help it anymore.
“AHAHAHAHAHAH. I’m so sorry, my love. I was watching you play and all your little expressions were too cute, You looked like a sad little monkey at the end of the game, too adorable.”
“THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER Y/N! I’m devastated.” He says.
“yes, yes. It is. Apologies for being so rude, my lord” You say as you cup his face and caress his cheek. “Don’t worry voxxy, you’ll always be my #1 little gamer boy. Chu” You kiss him on the lips.
A slight tint of pink appears on his cheeks. “Damn right I am” he says as he pulls you in for another kiss. He pulls away and pulls you closer to him by the hips, “Have you had dinner yet?”
“No, not yet.” You reply as you gently brush his hair with your fingers.
“Alrighty, let me cook you a little something.”
“Wow. A gamer who can cook? I must’ve won the lottery.” You say as he stands up from his gaming chair.
“I could say the same thing,” he kisses the top of your head “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
________________________________________________
if this turned out bad I am so sorry I wrote this on a whim so don’t come @ me :P hope u enjoyed atl :’)
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
If I were writing this, I'd call it "Little Scraps of Wisdom," but I'm not writing it
So @themardia and I were talking, as we so often do, about why Henry Lasso should be in high school and not grade school, and... things happened. [Warning for some discussions of stillbirth and child death—not Henry—and warning for... us being us, basically]
Chapter One: In Which Gus And Mardia Discuss Why They Should've Been Consulted On Ted Lasso
GUS: SEE THIS IS WHY HE SHOULD HAVE HAD HENRY BE LIKE 17
MARDIA: MAKE THE KID BE A COLLEGE FRESHMAN
GUS: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUNNY
MARDIA: and Ted and Michelle are empty nesters and that’s part of why the marriage implodes
MARDIA: people get married and have kids young! It happens!!!!
GUS: well and like... the implication from the show is that they got married out of college or whatnot, at least imo
GUS: when he mentions meeting her in the school parking lot
GUS: that was always my takeaway
MARDIA: Oh yeah
GUS: so right, they get married at say 23
Chapter Two: In Which Gus Has A Bad Idea
GUS: ...god you know what would make sense but would be like
GUS: SO DARK
MARDIA: Oh no
GUS: oh yes
MARDIA: I am afraid
GUS: maybe they DID have a kid
GUS: and he DIED
MARDIA: OH NO
GUS: YES
MARDIA: DANGIT GUS
GUS: is it worse if Henry was born before or after Kid A kicked the bucket
MARDIA: After
GUS: you're right
GUS: Michelle being like "we'll just try again! Mulligan!"
GUS: or wait no I think Ted would be more like that
GUS: and Michelle is devastated but like, pregnancy was actually really easy for her or whatever, so they have Henry
MARDIA: Yep yep
GUS: I think this only makes sense if the first kid died because of something they couldn't have prevented
GUS: bc if it had been an accident or something no WAY would ted have been able to like, leave
MARDIA: Or heck, even a stillbirth
GUS: man this is so terrible, thank you for yes-and-ing my horribleness
MARDIA: Ahahaha here for you
GUS: I think a stillbirth they would've tried again sooner
MARDIA: Ooh true
GUS: but like if the kid's IDK
GUS: ...doing math in my head... maybe 12? when it dies?
GUS: that gives them time to get henry, if henry's about 7 at the start of the show
GUS: and Ted and Michelle are early 40s
MARDIA: Oof this is dark af
GUS: honestly I want to write this now
GUS: oh man what if he had a daughter
MARDIA: DAMMIT GUS
GUS: WHAT IF HE HAD A DAUGHTER MARDIA
MARDIA: STOP TRYING TO HURT ME
GUS: AND WHEN HE SAID THINGS LIKE "LITTLE GIRLS ARE MYSTERIOUS AND PLAYFUL AND I GAVE UP TRYING TO FIGURE THEM OUT A LONG TIME AGO"
GUS: HE WAS THINKING ABOUT HIS LITTLE GIRL
MARDIA:
GUS: HAHAHAHA
Chapter Three: In Which Gus Has A Slightly Better Idea
GUS: ok ok what if instead I wrote that they DID have a first kid
GUS: but she's still alive
GUS: an actual Mary Sue
MARDIA: Thank you
MARDIA: Yes
MARDIA: I am a delicate flower
GUS: I'd even call her that
GUS: Mary Sue Lasso
MARDIA: No judgment
MARDIA: Ted WOULD name his kid that
GUS: he absolutely would
GUS: ok so Mary Sue
GUS: first season she's finishing high school in Kansas
GUS: second season she rolls up because she got into college somewhere in the UK
GUS: not cambridge or oxford
MARDIA: St Andrews!
MARDIA: That’s the only other Uk college I know
GUS: oh my god I'm looking up colleges in the uk
GUS: she has to go to University College
MARDIA: Ahahahahahah
GUS: because that's the dumbest fucking name ever
MARDIA: it IS
GUS: she straight up applied because she didn't think it was a real place
GUS: and because her dad was like "aww you should apply to somewhere in the UK! then we can be expat buddies!"
GUS: and she DOES love him but like, jeez dad
GUS: anyway she gets in, has a HUGE fight with Michelle about it/the divorce/etc and is like FINE I'LL GO TO LONDON I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE SPACE JUST LIKE DAD DID, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T DIVORCE ME TOO
MARDIA: AHAHAHHA
GUS: like one of those very teenager fights
GUS: so when she gets to the UK she's still like, fuming
GUS: and Ted's like "... hi honey"
GUS: and she's like "I'M ON MY PERIOD AND I HATE MOM, GIVE ME CHOCOLATE AND LET'S GO ON THAT FERRIS WHEEL THING"
GUS: I feel like she stays with Ted
GUS: and absolutely destroys his apartment
MARDIA: and there is so much makeup in the bathroom
GUS: Five different shampoos
Chapter Four: In Which Mardia Proposes An SMAU Of Sorts
MARDIA: She tries out every new TikTok trend
MARDIA: Ted has a heart attack when he comes home and tries the wolf cut haircut
GUS: oh my god what is THAT
GUS: is both his reaction and mine
MARDIA: LOL
MARDIA: it’s basically like a shag haircut
GUS: oh god
MARDIA: There’s this famous YouTuber Brad Mondo
MARDIA: Who reacts to people fucking up their hair
MARDIA: And offers many tutorials
MARDIA: Anyway thanks to him
MARDIA: I know the wolf cut is popular with the youths
GUS: terrible I love it
MARDIA: And I love the idea of Ted watching it so he can help her
GUS: omg
GUS: YES
MARDIA: She puts the whole thing on the internet
MARDIA: It goes viral
GUS: periodically he'll stop and say "Hi Henry! Just me and your sister having ourselves a barbershop duo!"
GUS: because he thinks she's filming for Henry alone
MARDIA: AHAH
GUS: she has a whole series
GUS: omg what if she did this back in Kansas too
GUS: WHAT IF SHE WAS THE ONE WHO FILMED THE LASSO DANCE
GUS: and everybody in Richmond knows about this including the press but nobody talks to ted about it
GUS: assuming he knows
GUS: which of course He Does Not
GUS: should this have a ship
MARDIA: Of course not!
MARDIA: YES
MARDIA: MARY SUE AND SHANNON
GUS: lol I was thinking for Ted but yes good
MARDIA: Lololol
MARDIA: I think Trent
MARDIA: Just because the parallels with the daughters is funny to me
GUS: god right
GUS: what if she hates him at first
GUS: and is BIG MAD at him for betraying her dad with that article
MARDIA: YES
GUS: but in the end is like, ... I GUESS if you like him or whatever
GUS: this would be funniest in her POV I think
MARDIA: Yes
MARDIA: Bc her response to Ted is so different
GUS: but it does mean I would have to learn more about TikTok
MARDIA: I…will try to help
MARDIA: I have one but I barely get it myself
GUS: THANK YOU
GUS: basically I just need verisimilitude in re: uploading vids, getting responses etc
MARDIA: Oh for sure
GUS: I assume it's like insta/snapchat/twitter in terms of like
GUS: people can comment/like/subscribe
MARDIA: It’s basically the successor to vine if you know what that is
GUS: I do!
GUS: vaguely
MARDIA: There you go!
GUS: I never had one but i understood the basics
GUS: mostly I'm Old Person about all of that
MARDIA: Dancing challenges are super common
GUS: Mary Sue definitely puts together a compilation of Lasso Dance Competitions
MARDIA: OOH YES
GUS: someone else did a music compilation thing to the GO LASSO GO LASSO GO chant that's like, catapulted some tiktok musician into actual success
GUS: ie like this
youtube
Chapter Five: In Which Gus Nixes The SMAU
GUS: okay god I am NOT making a fucking SMAU
MARDIA: Ahahahahahah
GUS: basically it's season 2 plus teenage daughter
GUS: but all through her POV
MARDIA: I dig it
GUS: so there's limited interest in what Ted's actually up to
GUS: I wonder if she knows about his panic attacks
GUS: I bet he doesn't tell her
MARDIA: I think this is when she figures it out
MARDIA: Or like, she finds out with everyone else
GUS: but like not because her dad was OPEN AND HONEST WITH HER
MARDIA: If she finds out when the article drops
GUS: so her anger at Trent would be like a drop in the bucket of her RAGE at her dad
MARDIA: Or because the article drops
MARDIA: she’s mad at EVERYBODY
GUS: EVERYBODY
MARDIA: does she know about how her grandpa died?
GUS: for sure, but again not because Ted told her
GUS: because that's the kind of family secret that's not actaully a secret
GUS: it's more a We Don't Talk About Bruno deal
MARDIA: Also she 100% takes a swing at Nate if she finds out he was the source
MARDIA: I love the idea of Ted having a daughter who is emphatically Not Nice
MARDIA: And may occasionally have rage issues
GUS: is it funnier if she's like, the spit of Michelle ie a tiny blonde
GUS: or more along the lasso lines so she can actually do damage to Nate
MARDIA: I think it’s funnier if she’s a mini Lasso
GUS: I mean either way Nate would be terrified
MARDIA: Like imagine a tiny teenage female Ted
MARDIA: But MAD
GUS: HAHA
GUS: I'm imagining like
GUS: Florence Pugh
GUS: which is funny for a number of reasons
MARDIA: ahahaha omg that would be great
MARDIA: Give her dark hair tho
GUS: maybe she used to dye it blonde
GUS: like her mom
MARDIA: Ooh yeah
GUS: (bc no way is Michelle a natural blonde, no disrespect but srs)
GUS: (which: neither is Rebecca so)
MARDIA: Particularly bc Sudekis’ hair isn’t that dark
MARDIA: so going blond wouldn’t be that hard or that shocking
GUS: lol what if she home dyes her hair all the time
GUS: just destroying Ted's bathroom
GUS: because she felt pink
MARDIA: this is how she’s a Brad mondo addict
GUS: and he's like "babydoll you know I love you very much but what the heck"
MARDIA: And Ted starts having to watch just to understand wtf is happening on his baby’s head
GUS: she comes into his bedroom one night and he does like a Keeley-worthy toss of his phone across the room
GUS: and she's like "...ew if you're watching porn, gross"
GUS: "but also, that stuff is exploitative and you should really be on Make Love Not Porn"
GUS: and Ted is like "...thanks?"
Chapter Six: In Which Okay, This Might Have Some SMAU Elements
MARDIA: I gotta say
MARDIA: It would be even funnier
MARDIA: If Ted is actually pretty good with hair
MARDIA: Both bc he learned thanks to having a kid
GUS: true! ooh what if Ted was the primary caregiver bc Michelle was the breadwinner
MARDIA: so when she uploads the videos of her dad doing the wolf cut
MARDIA: He is very earnestly and carefully sectioning her hair
GUS: **chinhands
MARDIA: And talking about how you have to do it like THIS because that Brad boy said so
MARDIA: And waxing poetic about getting the right type of scissors
MARDIA: “Can’t be hacking at your hair with kitchen shears”
GUS: all the while Mary Sue just looking dead into the camera
MARDIA: and putting on the screen type that says BRAD MONDO YOU CREATED A MONSTER
MARDIA: Brad mondo immediately does a reaction video
MARDIA: He is DYING
MARDIA: and also SO VINDICATED
MARDIA: “See THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FOLLOW THE CORRECT METHOD”
MARDIA: He’s actually super enthused about Ted’s technique
MARDIA: oh god
MARDIA: What if she’s a semi regular on his channel
GUS: yes
GUS: continue
MARDIA: Like, she’s done wild shit to her hair in the past
MARDIA: So he’s reacted to her a few times
MARDIA: And is straight up going “I’m sorry but you need your dad to do your hair more often, this is the best you have ever looked"
GUS: I feel like that would be CRUSHING to an 18 year old but like
GUS: objectively hilarious
MARDIA: He’s actually very nice on the whole
MARDIA: But honest
GUS: Mardia
GUS: you look me in the screen and tell me what 18 year old wants honesty
MARDIA: HAH
MARDIA: like, she tends to go wild bc she is impatient
MARDIA: like, her hair never looks BAD BAD
MARDIA: but Brad is vibing bc Ted is METHODICAL
MARDIA: And takes the time to do it CORRECTLY
MARDIA: (To be fair, the wolf cut technique is supposed to be idiot proof)
MARDIA: (It is not)
GUS: (there are a lot of idiots in the world ok)
MARDIA: Like, the video is just Ted being patient and following ALL THE STEPS
MARDIA: while Mary Sue just squirms bc she is IMPATIENT OKAY
MARDIA: And to add insult to injury
MARDIA: Brad keeps pausing the video
MARDIA: To point out all the things that Ted is doing CORRECTLY
MARDIA: “You see how he’s directing the ponytail to the very top of her head”
GUS: I love it
GUS: although fair warning, you're writing that part
MARDIA: HAH I got you
GUS: I'm just going to be like [HAIR SCENE/FILMNG HEREY]
GUS: [BRAD REACTION VID HEREY]
MARDIA: AHAHHHAHA
MARDIA: Perfect
GUS: god
GUS: what if she used to get comments back before her dad became famous
GUS: (bc she's been doing this since she was like 15)
GUS: from women being like "IS UR DAD SINGLE"
GUS: and she was like "EW NO HE ISN'T STOP LEAVING WEIRD SEX COMMENTS ABOUT MY DAD"
GUS: like not puriteen about it
GUS: but like full on Amy from Brooklyn 99
GUS: EW ROSA THAT'S OUR DADS
MARDIA: YES PERFECT
GUS: and then thanks to the Lasso Dance (and maybe a little bit of Dad becoming this famous soccer coach or whatever)
GUS: her channel (does tiktok have channels? whatever the term is)
GUS: becomes HUGELY popular
GUS: like she still films stuff with her friends etc
GUS: but the Dad stuff is the big ticket item
GUS: which she's so grossed out by but also: it's hilarious
Chapter Seven: In Which Children Of Divorce, Whoo Boy
GUS: also -- Mary Sue is ABSOLUTELY the kid who sides with Dad in a divorce
MARDIA: Oh yep
GUS: (Henry's too young but I think he sides with Michelle)
MARDIA: Especially because like. The reason that Michelle is right to leave
MARDIA: Is not something I feel like Mary Sue would get instinctively
GUS: oh absolutely
GUS: ... oh man
GUS: you know what I could do
GUS: is have Beard sit her down at some point
GUS: and be like "your Dad is hard to be married to"
GUS: "I should know, I've been his work wife for 20 years"
MARDIA: He’s not wrong!
GUS: HE IS NOT
MARDIA: And Mary Sue could hear it from him
GUS: exactly
MARDIA: where she can’t hear it from her mom, not that Michelle is even trying to justify it
GUS: because Beard is also The Mom
GUS: man what if when she was little
GUS: and she'd get mad at her parents for whatever
GUS: she'd run away from home
GUS: to Beard's house
GUS: two blocks away
GUS: like backpack full of her favorite stuffed animals and her blankie over her shoulder
GUS: "WE'RE LEAVING"
GUS: "PACK YOUR TENT"
GUS: Beard: ok lemme just make a reeeeeal quick phonecall
GUS: they actually did go camping
GUS: bc Beard lived right next to like, a park or whatever
GUS: so they'd pitch the tent about 100 feet away from his house and make a fire and toast marshmallows
GUS: and talk about whatever books she was reading
GUS: or just stare at the fire
GUS: and then she'd fall asleep and he'd bring her home
GUS: and Michelle and Ted were totally zen about it
Chapter Eight: In Which Mary Sue's Reaction To Characters Is Not Necessarily Our Reaction To Characters
GUS: so when she moves to the UK she still randomly shows up at Beard's
GUS: which causes some stress in Beard's relationship with Jane
GUS: or maybe they get along worryingly well IDK
MARDIA: I think Mary Sue would be like “who is this”
MARDIA: At first they get along
MARDIA: And then Mary Sue sees the crazy and is like NOPE
GUS: YES good
GUS: Mary Sue's like "you remember that ventriloquist girl? and the telemarketer who was into recreational caning? Yeah Jane is worse"
GUS: and Beard is like "woah that is an indictment" and breaks up with Jane
MARDIA: she’s not wrong!!!!
GUS: SHE IS NOT
MARDIA: And Ted is like “oh thank you sweetheart”
GUS: I feel like she'd dislike Keeley at first because teenage girls still have a weird puritanical streak
GUS: but Keeley would win her over
MARDIA: Oh yes
GUS: and I think she LIKES Rebecca but like... in the way you like your dad's boss
GUS: she knows that they're close but Rebecca seems really remote and inaccessible
MARDIA: oh for sure
MARDIA: Like, that’s her dad’s work person
GUS: which means she just becomes very Midwest Polite around Rebecca
GUS: and Rebecca is like SHE IS SO CHARMING
GUS: and ted is like yes... charming
GUS: not revealing that his daughter has become a pod person
MARDIA: AHAHAHAH
GUS: what if there's some sort of crisis
GUS: one of the players is in a car accident or something
GUS: and everybody rushes to the hospital
GUS: including Rebecca who's like, no makeup in her sweats with sneakers that squeak on the linoleum
GUS: and Mary Sue is like "oh she's a human being ok"
GUS: and promptly becomes as horrible to her as she is to everyone else
MARDIA: Rebecca is so BEWILDERED
GUS: "I don't know what I did wrong, Ted, she's acting so--"
GUS: "oh no, you did something right. and now you get the same patented Mary Sue Lasso Special that us folks she actually likes get on the regular"
MARDIA: Rebecca is both flattered and insulted
GUS: Rebecca knows she really Made It, though, when Mary Sue runs away to her house one time
GUS: (because Beard is out of town or something)
GUS: and Rebecca is like "... I have an outdoor fire pit?"
GUS: "It's remote-controlled but I'm sure we can manage"
GUS: Mary Sue brings over her last bag of Jet Puffed Giant Marshmallows
GUS: I'm trying to think of how Trent and Mary Sue interact
GUS: She's DEFINITELY at the pub with her dad that time Trent's there and asks about the "food poisoning"
GUS: and she clocks that SOMETHING'S hinky
GUS: but assumes it's her dad's sublimated crush on trent
GUS: and is like "dad he was totally flirting with you"
GUS: which has the benefit of derailing Ted's concern about Trent figuring shit out
GUS: and also giving Ted a whole NEW thing to worry about
GUS: he makes some comment about how he's not gonna slip Trent a note asking if he likes him, check yes or no
GUS: and Mary Sue's like "oh my god you're so OLD"
MARDIA: okay I gotta detangle and wash my hair
MARDIA: KEEP GOING THO
GUS: haha don't try the wolf cut
Chapter Nine: In Which Gus Is Left By Herself, With Predictable Results
GUS: so it can start with Mary Sue getting off the plane in Heathrow
GUS: and Ted and Beard are waiting at the gate bc rebecca bought them fraudulent plane tickets so they could get through security
GUS: which, background to that is that Ted talked Rebecca's ear off about how anxious he was having her here for the first time, seeing as how she didn't come with Henry and Michelle that spring bc exams or whatever
GUS: but mostly Mary Sue's just like "oh my god you're so embarrassing"
GUS: so the first section would be mostly her like, starting college, dealing with her own culture shock etc
GUS: if you've got an idea of what she'd be majoring in/interested in lmk, I kind of want her to be completely separate from both Ted and Michelle
GUS: and Michelle I still headcanon as like an engineer of some kind
GUS: Maybe she's into music or something arts-related?
GUS: god what if she's an English major
GUS: Anyway so the season's already started, I assume? Whatever, timeline
GUS: eventually Mary Sue goes to the clubhouse and meets people
GUS: oh man what if Ted's taking her on a tour maybe like... post-ep 3, a few days after Sam has his moment speaking out against the Nigerian government
GUS: and Trent rolls up while Ted's mid-tour trying to get a question in
GUS: and Mary Sue's like "WHO'S THIS GUY"
GUS: like immediately rude to him
GUS: bc he reminds her of one of her professors who she hates
GUS: although she clocks immediately that Trent's not going to be putting any moves on undergraduates since he's so obviously got a crush on her dad
GUS: which she keeps to herself
GUS: (omg I'm absolutely working in a real-life thing that happened with my parents many years ago: we were all at this cute granola-type grocery store in Ann Arbor once and this twink just FELL IN LOVE with my dad, asking wistfully if he could help him with anything, and Dad just obliviously chatting with him about IDK, artisanal bread or whatever while Mom and I were dying trying not to laugh. I think of that poor boy often, I hope he's doing well and has found a silver fox of his very own)
GUS: anyway she makes a total conquest of Higgins who adores her
GUS: she super negs Jamie's eyebrow thing
GUS: goes to maybe a game or two but like... she doesn't care about soccer
GUS: and didn't care about football either
GUS: omg what if she's a THEATER MAJOR
GUS: god that would be even funnier
GUS: dreams of getting into RADA or something
GUS: lemme think - I think she goes home for Christmas, so that part for Ted is unchanged, and maybe Mary Sue has another fight with Michelle and stomps out of the house only to realize that she can't run away to Beard's house because he's back in the UK
GUS: and like she has some contemplation about her life and about the history of her own family
GUS: OMG WHAT IF SHE'S ONE OF THE EXTRAS AT THE MUSEUM THAT EDWIN HIRES
GUS: like she answers a craigslist ad or whatever
GUS: or some of her classmates tell her about it and they all go and get their $200 for the day
GUS: only she recognizes Sam and waves
GUS: and Sam is like "...????????"
GUS: in the middle of that whole scene
GUS: I'm trying to figure out when she'd meet Shannon
GUS: probably just like, around, since Shannon lives near Richmond Green too?
GUS: basically the same way Ted meets her
GUS: only Mary Sue's like "ugh another jock"
GUS: And Shannon's like "you're not a fan of jocks?" all smiles and Mary Sue is like "oh no"
GUS: what'll also be interesting is Mary Sue's relationship to alcohol
GUS: because like - she's aware of the family history
GUS: and of the right age/temperament to go full teetotaller
GUS: but also this would be the first place where she can legally drink
GUS: while ALSO knowing her dad likes to drink
GUS: and I can definitely see her also being like, well grandpa was an alcoholic sure but that didn't have anything to do with him killing himself
GUS: ...oh god
GUS: I just realized what the Big Fight would be between her and her dad
GUS: like she finds out about his panic attacks from the article
GUS: and immediately throws her grandpa's suicide in his face too, because he didn't tell her about THAT, either
GUS: she found out from a cousin, or something
GUS: and is like "do you have ANY IDEA how terrified I was, all last year, because you were the same age Grandpa was when he killed himself? I called you EVERY DAY, and if you didn't pick up I called Beard, and if he didn't pick up I called Katie at the front desk because she'd always know if you'd come in to work that day and I knew you wouldn't kill yourself at work, that'd be so unprofessional, right Dad?"
GUS: just so incredibly cruel the way daughters are
GUS: being like "you're so obsessed with this idea of nobody having to worry about you that you ignore us worrying about you ALL THE FUCKING TIME"
GUS: and this is the first time she's yelled at him in YEARS
GUS: and he suddenly realizes why - it's because she's convinced that he'll kill himself if anyone hurts him too badly
GUS: cue hugging and stuff
GUS: and him telling her about therapy and the panic attacks and everything else
GUS: he even tells her about Sassy
GUS: Mary Sue: ew, also I already knew about that
GUS: oh my god what if all this happens at Trent's place
GUS: because at first she was mad at him for writing the piece so she stomped off to HIS apartment
GUS: and he of course immediatley called Ted being like "your feral child is in my flat, please retrieve asap"
GUS: but when Ted shows up they have this big fight
GUS: while Trent is in the kitchen making tea and pretending not to hear a thing
GUS: because revealing the panic attack is one thing but this is another
GUS: and as they leave Mary Sue says she wants to apologize to Trent so she stays back for a second
GUS: and she apologizes sort of half-heartedly but also is like "look, you're gonna have to wait a couple months before asking him out now, okay? maybe at the beginning of next season"
GUS: and trent is like "pardon?"
GUS: and mary sue considers it and shrugs and is like "okay realistically he'll be over it by like tomorrow but we're going back to Kansas for the summer and long-distance relationships are hard for old people"
GUS: THE END
Epilogue: In Which Mardia Comes Back To... All That
MARDIA: I LOVE IT
GUS: I should just post this
GUS: so I don't have to write it
MARDIA: BOOOOOO
GUS: too late
MARDIA: sigh
MARDIA: At least we have chat fic
GUS: we'll always have chat fic
#ted lasso#ted lasso fic#being my friend can be a blessing and a curse#often at the exact same time#believe mothereffers#ficcage of interest#or something at least
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bad Moon Rising (Pt. 7)
TOH Hunter/Golden Guard x reader
Masks and Bets part seven, in which...ahahAHAHAHAH YOU MORTALS AREN'T READY FOR THIS-
Masks and Bets (Part 1)
Masks and Beasts (Part 2)
Masked and Beat (Part 3)
Masked (and Unmasked) On the Seas (Part 4)
Cracks in a Mask (Part 5)
Revelations (Part 6)
Word count: 2k
*******
I swung the first sword at the target, breathing heavily. Sweat soaked my back and hands- it was getting harder to hold onto the sabers as they grew slippery. I hit the next target, gasping for more air…
I was not a combat witch.
To be entirely fair to myself, I was physically fit. I just tired out too quickly to be very useful without my spells. And of course, combat was easy when I had my magic, but….well…it was immature, but Hunter was a great fighter without any magic, and…I kind of envied that.
I missed the next target, much to my chagrin, but hit the next one.
Speaking of Hunter…
I sighed, slicing the punching bag open. Feathers exploded out of it, making a mess that I wasn’t looking forward to cleaning.
Hunter. In my mind, the Golden Guard and Hunter still felt like different people. Goldie was my coworker-turned-friend, and Hunter was my crush. Kind of.
So what was he now?
I hissed in frustration, stabbing the half-destroyed punching bag.
This isn’t fair. The one time I get a crush on someone, and they're secretly my work partner.
I smacked the falling-apart leather with the flat of my sword.
“Woah, what did that punching bag ever do to you?”
I looked up to see a scout standing at the training room door.
“It knew too much.” I answered as coolly as I could muster, sliding the training swords into their sheaths.
“Jeez (Y/N), what did you do?” Laughed the scout. I recognized their voice- Steve.
“I’d tell ya, but then I’d have to kill you.” I grinned, tossing my cloak back onto my shoulders. “See you around, Steve.”
“See ya!” He waved as I exited the room.
I entered the armory to return the training swords, sighing as I put them up. I still can’t fight well enough yet. This sucks. Practicing sucks.
That’s not true: practicing stuff I’m good at is fun, but practicing this….sucks.
I let my eyes wander to the side of the armory that held the staffs. I used to use one, back before I was in the coven- a tall gold staff, with a black and gold bat perched on the top. I had wrapped the middle bit with brown dragon leather in hopes of gripping it easier…It had, of course, been confiscated upon joining the coven.
But after last week’s palismen hunt, my old palisman had been on my mind…I had found him in the woods instead of carving him on my own, and I still wondered who his witch was before me.
Not that it mattered. Belos had probably absorbed my bat’s soul or something- that was likely why he confiscated palismen. To cure his stupid curse.
I trudged back up to my room, shoulders slumped. I wished I could just…leave this place…leave all my troubles behind…I wished I could get my palisman back, and fly away from it all. Away from Belos, away from Hunter, away from the atrocities I had committed under the guise of helping witch-kind…
I shoved the door open, collapsing onto my bed. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a spy…
Maybe, argued a voice in my head, maybe I’m a child. A child who’s under a lot of internal and external pressure. Maybe I’m tired.
I curled up on the quilt, trying to breathe…better. Fucking emotions.
There was a knock on the doorframe. “Hey…(Y/N)?”
Thorns. It’s Hunter.
“Hunter.” I coughed, trying desperately to wipe my eyes as I sat up. “What do you want?”
“Um…well, I wanted to…talk, but if you’re busy…”
My face burned, and I wished I had my mask. Kikimora’s dragon had eaten my old one.
“I’m…a bit busy, yeah.” I snorted half-heartedly. “Just…forget this ever happened.”
Hunter frowned. “ ‘This’?”
“You know, walking in on me crying!” I snapped. I took a deep breath- I hadn’t meant to snap…
Hunter seemed relieved though. “O-kay, you meant…good. Great! I mean- Well, obviously not that great- well…are you okay.” He said it like a statement.
“I’ll be fine.” I said firmly, wiping my eyes again just to be sure they were dry. They weren’t.
Hunter nodded, obviously unconvinced. “Well…you don’t look okay. I mean…you look good, but distressed. You look distressed.”
I gave a half-laugh. “Thanks for the clarification…I guess.” I sighed, running my hands through my hair. “I’ve got some stuff on my mind is all. A…A lot of stuff, you know how it goes.”
He nodded, sitting on the bed by me. “Is it…Lilith stuff?”
“Some of it.” I whispered.
“Do you…wanna talk about it?” He said softly, fidgeting with his gloved hands.
Do I wanna talk about it?
I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the rising feelings inside of me.
Anger at Belos, anger with myself, resentment towards Lilith, frustration with Hunter, sadness for my past….it isn’t fair, it isn’t fair it isn't fair!
Like a tsunami, everything wanted to just pour out…
I swallowed. “I’m just…really fucking helpless.” I whispered, curling in on myself.
I felt an arm around me. Hunter.
“You’ve got a lot to deal with. That makes sense….” He paused, accidentally meeting my eyes. He blushed and looked away. “But you’re also…really competent, (Y/N). Lilith would be proud.”
I stared at him, fighting the urge to pull him into a hug.
I apparently didn’t have to, because he beat me to it. I stiffened, but let myself melt into it.
“I’m really glad you’re my work partner.” I mumbled into his shoulder.
“Me too.” He whispered back, squeezing my hand as he pulled away.
I sighed, wiping my eyes again. “Well. Anyways….what did you want to talk about?”
He frowned, taking a book out of his satchel. “Well…I found something kinda weird while helping rebuild the portal…”
Belos was rebuilding the portal?!
“I found it on his work table, and he said I could have it, ‘cause it’s blank. Um…it isn’t blank though. I didn’t read much, but it has your name on it. So. I thought you should probably have it.”
He shrugged, handing me the little leather book.
Once upon a time there was a witch. Now that would be all well and good if it weren’t 1656, but it was, unfortunately, 1656.
It all starts with Adam, of course....but we'll get there soon.
Hi, I’m (Y/N) (L/N), and I think I know too much.
It was the book. The one Belos had confiscated…what the hell is going on?!
“Thanks, Hunter.” I said, trying to force a smile.
“Yeah, well…that’s all, really. So. I- I’ll leave now.” He said awkwardly.
“See ya,” I waved, refocusing on the little leather-bound journal.
Hi, I’m (Y/N) (L/N), and I think I know too much.
Well, I don’t go by (Y/N) anymore, and Adam doesn’t go by the name Hunter… It’s been a weird few years.
To start at the beginning- if you’re reading this, your name is probably either Hunter or (Y/N), and you’re really confused right now. You’re probably having a fairly normal day…Sorry, I’m about to ruin that.
Wow, I dunno how to break it to you, but…Belos is evil.
And he isn’t even really named Belos.
There once was a man named Philip, who would later become our good ‘ol emperor. He was from another world, and came to this one with his brother and their best friend- Caleb Wittebane and Lune Byrne. I don’t know too much about Caleb and Lune, but I do know that Lune wasn’t from the same place as Caleb and Philip? Just….somewhere in the human realm, essentially.
And they found this world through a portal. Caleb and Lune were enamored by all the wonder and majesty of this place, and fell in love with the Boiling Isles.
Philip…did not.
He hated witchcraft, afraid it would lead mankind to great peril. So when Lune ‘abandoned’ him for a potions career and Caleb fell in love with a witch, Philip….killed them.There was some more stuff in between, but…death was certainly prevalent.
Pretty terrible, yeah? Well. It gets worse…he used the bones of Caleb and Lune to create creatures known as ‘Grimwalkers’, a sort of magical clone.
That’s why I know you’re either Hunter or (Y/N), of course. Only grimwalker eyes can read what I’ve written- to anyone else, it appears blank.
Well…as I’m writing this, Adam and I have escaped the castle. We’re laying low, going by different names and using concealment stones- as far as anyone in the coven knows, we just disappeared.
But you’re next, (Y/N) and Hunter. It’s only a matter of time before he tires of you, and you join the pile of bones in the head of the Titan.
Head spinning, I stared at the book. Grimwalker? But….I wasn’t raised in the castle, I was raised by my parents! A-and who the heck was Philip?! And…..was the author still alive?
There was a knock on the door. “Hey, Hotshot?”
Darius.
“Um…come in.” I sighed, hiding the book under my pillow.
Darius swung the door open dramatically. “You missed afternoon tea, Hotshot.”
Shoot. “...Oh yeah. I forgot, I-I’m sorry. It’s been a weird day.”
He frowned. “Did you hear about Raine?”
I quirked my eyebrow. “Huh?”
“I take it you didn’t, then.” He sighed, sitting on the bed next to me. “Well, Raine Whispers was caught betraying the Emperor. Eber and I were sent to stop them…but they said that you were up to something.”
My heart dropped. “What?”
“Yes. They claimed that you had been sent to Terra, that you’d discovered something��and that Edalyn Clawthorne told them that you were spying for Lilith.” He shrugged, filing his nails casually.
“Darius, please- I promise, she was lying, she’s trying to confuse you, obviously- Why would I be against Belos? He’s not- not trying to kill me or anything- Um-”
Darius smirked, looking up. “It’s alright, Hotshot….You’re not the only spy in our midst.”
I stared at him, eyes wide. “You- You’re against him?”
“Seems I’m not the only one then, am I?”
I smiled. “No. No, you’re right. I’m spying on the coven.”
Darius grinned. “Perfect.”
“Who else is there?”
“You, me, Eberwolf, and Raine.”
I beamed. “Great! Great. Do you guys have like- secret spy meets?”
“Well, yes…See you at afternoon tea tomorrow, Hotshot. Don’t miss it.” He said, standing up.
“Yessir.” I nodded, grinning.
Maybe I’m not so alone after all.
*******
I sat on my bed, reading the journal. After the first jarring message, the author seemed more keen on using it like a diary.
It’s weird, living normally- we’ve moved into the town of Bonesborough, claiming to be a couple named Adam Specter and Sparrow Bryony. Adam dyed his hair brown, and I’ve been hiding my short hair with a wig. There’ve been missing posters put up all over the isles, but since we always have masks on as the Silver Sorcerer and the Golden Guard, no one has connected us to the Emperor’s coven!
Our latest worry has been trying to save you, frankly. Adam and I may not be great with kids, but I think we’re better guardians then Belos- by far….
*******
Thirty years ago
Sparrow finished writing the last paragraph, closing the little book. It had been a very strange few months, starting when Adam saw something he wasn’t supposed to, and leading to this…
“Fiances, eh Adam?” She smirked as he entered the room, referring to earlier in the day- when Adam had introduced her as his partner to their new neighbors.
He shrugged coolly as he could muster. “Well…it seemed logical. And it’ll keep the scouts off our back.”
“Will it?” Sparrow pressed, grinning.
“You act like you don’t want to become a Specter, M’lady.” He teased.
“Hm…I’m not sure I do. You’d make a lovely Bryony though my good sir....”
“You drive a hard bargain. But I like that name, so….Out of curiosity, why’d you pick it?”
Sparrow shrugged. “Well…it means ‘strength’. Overcoming things, you know? I guess…I guess that just felt symbolic. It reminded me of us.”
Adam pursed his lips. “Well thorns, I just picked mine because ‘Specter’ means ‘ghosts’. And I thought it’d be kinda funny to name the one of grimwalkers ‘Spectra Specter’.”
Sparrow laughed. “Wow, you really do hate children.”
He held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’ll take your last name- you’re right, it is cooler.”
“‘Adam Bryony’...I like it.”
Adam smiled, taking her hand. “Me too.”
*******
Author’s note: Whilst (Y/N) remains gender neutral, Sparrow and one other (Y/N) grimwalker both have set genders- Sparrow is female and Nico (who you’ll meet soon) is male. They all have the same body, but they are still different people.
Maybe I should've name this chapter Revelations instead
Taglist:
@vievi
@generousdoodleforillustration
@harlanfalcon
@ronipiamka
#x reader#the owl house hunter x reader#the owl house x reader#the owl house#the golden guard#golden guard x reader#toh hunter x reader#hunter toh#toh golden guard#toh golden guard x reader#caleb wittebane#grimwalker oc#grimwalker#toh oc
117 notes
·
View notes
Note
ur a member of the tumblr wizards right???
Cuz I have an idea for a cool staff and I want the wizards to see it
FUCK YEAH I AM WOOOOO
WIZARDBLR AHAHAHAHAHAH
im actually allegedly a "popular" wizardposter-
AND YEAH LETS SEE THE STAFFF
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
first things first. will be using my autism to get a disability pass at disney because who am i to not?? i am simply just a girl. with autism. who will use that to her advantage.
also thinking. what if i announce it to my family gender reveal style. like i know from research the puzzle pieces are a clear no no but like hear me out. you know how they do the confetti balloons?? that with fucking puzzle pieces and bein like “surprise its autism” is cracking me up -🪤
oh yes absolutely agree. the only good thing about being disabled is getting free shit. society is against us in every other way, the least they can do is let me go on space mountain before other people!!!
GENDER REVEAL STYLE AHAHAHAHAHAH. yeah, the puzzle pieces are a big no in the autism world... however, in the name of a joke, I would say it's 100% fair game.
is it a boy? is it a girl? NO, IT'S AUTISM MOTHER FUCKERSSSSS. you find that puzzle and find some balloons, you have an announcement to do.
#guys... i have somehting really serious to tell you...#IM AUTISTIC#the question is tho will your family be shocked#mine were not :/#anon!#🪤 anon#chatty asks!
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just realized i have a penchant for Kaeya fighting to-be Diluc’s suitors or partners to the most non-violent and aggressive things ever-- like dance battles, sports matches, who can make the best snowcones, etc.
Its probably because, despite how much Kaeya wants to keep him away from all that, he doesnt want any bad blood between all parties involved and just wishes for Diluc’s happiness
So he fights them in any way that isnt an actual physical fight or battle. Although id imagine if this was Chiluc, he'd get really close to just straight up punching Childe in the face AHAH
Oh Kaeya, Childe is a bit battlecrazed-- if you introduce him to fights that arent "fights", you have just created possibly the most dangerous skill monkey in all of Teyvat.
Imagine if he accidentally challenges fucking zHONGLI to a history battle AHAHA-- KAEYA WOULD GET FUCKING FLOORED--
Oh my god, Kaeya goes to challenge Itto but Itto is 10 billion steps ahead of him and challenges him to an onikabuto battle-- KAEYAS GONNA HAVE TO CRAWL AROUND ALL OF INAZUMA TO FIND A BUG FOR THIS-- DILUC IS OFF TO THE SIDE WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED THAT BROUGHT HIM TO THIS POINT AHAHAHA
Highkey feel like Albedo would be the only one that Kaeya would approve of, but itd still be hilarious if he challenges him to something tho so-- Kaeya v Albedo, carnival/arcade games, i feel like Kaeya would go for this since Albedo is a little too focused on his research to play these during festivals and stuff. He might have a chance if he picks the game carefully
Thoma might also be someone Kaeya approves but he hAS TO PROTECT HIS BROTHER DAMMIT SO CHALLENGE IT IS-- windgliding race, amber is the referee. Hes betting on the fact that hes been stuck in Inazuma for a while and hadnt had the chance to freely windglide due to the constant lightning. Too bad for Kaeya, Diluc is a great windgliding teacher and its like Thoma never even stopped windgliding for years--
What the fuck would Kaeya even challenge Xiao to-- oh my god i got it while i was writing this-- the fUCKING PILE-EM-UP GAME AHAHAHAHAHAH-- JUST-- THE IMAGE OF THE CAVALRY CAPTAIN OF MONDSTAT AND THE VIGILANT YAKSHA ADEPTUS XIAO GLARING DAGGERS AT EACH OTHER AS THEY TRY TO PRECARIOUSLY PILE UP FOOD IS HILARIOUS TO ME AND IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO SUGGEST IT AHAHAHA
Eula, eula, eula, what would he challenge her to? Oh my god. Dance off. Eula thinks shes gonna win because she dances a lot in her free time but then Kaeya just turns to Venti, goes "gimme a beat", and starts fucking bREAKDANCING-- THIS IS NOT THE DANCING EULA EXPECTED BUT SHES TRYING HER BEST--
So the only one I think Kaeya would actually approve of is Thoma. cause he knows Thoma is a good guy. Like everyone else can screw off even Albedo. Cause you can't convince me, Kaeya fully trusts Albedo. You just can't. Like yeah, they bond over caring for Klee, but still, Albedo gives the vibes he has his own goal and will place them above all else. Also, Albedo and Diluc would never talk about their relationship, so Kaeya would hear about it until Klee spills the beans about them planning to get married or something.
And funny enough, Kaeya would start out liking Zhongli but quickly grow to LOATH him as he sees Diluc buy everything for him and ends up probably convinced that Zhongli is totally in it for Diluc's money. Probably ends up as the one Kaeya hates the most. Cause with the other, he can kind of see how well they treat Diluc and the effort they put in. It is much harder to see that with Zhongli.
Eula is not allowed cause she's obviously trying to use Diluc to clear her name.
Xiao is probably the one Kaeya grows to like the most and ends up slotted behind Thoma. Because I can see Kaeya noticing how Xiao is always so very careful with Diluc. And honestly won't talk about really anything until you talk about Diluc. So Yeah
So here is Kaeya's rating of Diluc's suiters.
Thoma -> Xiao-> -> Itto -> Eula -> -> -> Albedo -> Childe -> -> -> -> -> Ayato->-> -> -> -> -> -> Donna -> -> -> -> -> -> -> Zhongli
Also, none of this means Kaeya will stop being a little shit to Diluc's partners. It just means he's less likely to try and cause problems.
#Zhongli being archon also doesn't help his case#diluc ragnvindr#diluc#diluc and kaeya#kaeya alberich#kaeya#kaeya headcanons#Chiluc#Albeluc#Zhongluc#Ayatoluc#ayaluc#Ittoluc#Euluc#thomaluc#Xiaoluc#childe#tartaglia#albedo#albedo kreideprinz#zhongli#ayato#kamisato ayato#itto#eula#eula lawrence#thoma#xiao#diluc harem#diluc harem headcanons
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
you are my favourite everything !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're just two best friends who happen to be in love.
or
for when you fall in love with your best friend. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
social media au // ollie bearman x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - hi!!! i really hope u like this, my first time ever writing for ollie!!! thank u so much for reading, i love you <3 lando's version of shoutout to my ex will be posted soon, im so excited for u all to read it!!!
≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc, carla.brocker and 468,916 others
yourusername the adventures of loverboy and hatergirl
tagged olliebearman
6,729 comments
username EVERYONE PAUSE
username LOVERBOY WHAT
username WHAT WHAT WHAT
username OH???????
mickschumacher "hatergirl" the first time you chose to speak facts
-> yourusername i hate you damn
-> mickschumacher bring cookies on the way to the apartment???
-> yourusername no (already bought them)
username OLLIE AND Y/N 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username i've prayed for times like these
username they're NO WAY they're NOT dating
carla.brocker need to see you asap i miss u
-> yourusername baby we saw each other half an hour ago
-> carla.brocker ok and???
username ahahahahahah!!! im so normal about this!!!!!!!! sO normal!!!!!!!!!
username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username my babies 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
arthur_leclerc ollie is blushing, thought you should know x
-> yourusername OH MY GOD IM CRYING
-> olliebearman SHUT UP NO I'M NOT
-> charles_leclerc can confirm x
-> yourusername AW
-> olliebearman leave me alone!!!
username they're in love your honour
username t-minus few seconds till y/n says fuck it and hard launches her boy
username my largest source of serotonin ❤️
olliebearman i love you best friend!!!!!!!!
-> yourusername i love you more best friend!!!!!!!!!!
olliebearman midnight adventures with you are my favourite ❤️
-> yourusername thank you for driving to the store and getting me ramen ❤️
username THEY'VE GOT TO JOKING WITH US
username yeah they're in love idc
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and 799,756 others
olliebearman she drives me crazy in the most loveliest way
tagged yourusername
7,827 comments
username goodbye.
username WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN
username OH MY GOD
username violently sobbing
username this the same dude that called her "dude" on live tv?????????
-> username brother was fighting for his life then 😭😭😭
arthur_leclerc we KNOW
-> olliebearman and you will continue to do so
username i just KNOW arthur is sick of their shit
username SHE'S SO PRETTY
username might just fight ollie for her idk
username i died why is she so ❤️❤️❤️
username NEED SOMEONE TO POST ME LIKE THIS THANK U.
carla.brocker pretty girl 🤍
*liked by olliebearman*
username nah bc ollie better gf her up idc she's so 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username bitches be like "we're not in love" and then go and post this ollie is bitches
username "best friends" LMFAOOOOOOO
username THE MATCHING TPWK SWEATSHIRTS
-> username OMG OMG OMG
yourusername ok and??? u signed up for this 🙄❤️
-> olliebearman wouldn't have it any other way ❤️❤️❤️
yourusername thank u for being my personal photographer 💌
-> olliebearman anytime darling ❤️
-> username "darling" AHDHDHDHDHAJDNSSJ
*liked by yourusername*
username the mini cactuses ☹️☹️☹️ i love them ☹️☹️☹️
username they're so "you are in love" by taylor swift coded
username IM SO AHHHHHHHHHH
username y/n *breathes* ollie 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by olliebearman, landonorris, carla.brocker and 468,913 others
yourusername you are my favourite everything
tagged olliebearman
username im ok *screams*
username OH MY GOD
username im cryinf whatcthebfuck i lobe them u so kuch yhisnis evtughirnh
username the way the world is spinning again
username THEY'RE SO PRECIOUS TO ME EVERYONE SHUT UP
carlo.brocker my favs 💐🤍
-> yourusername we love u so much angel 💌🩷
username when i say i want a relationship i mean i want what ollie and y/n have
username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username i've prayed for times like these
username AHHHHHHHSDHHDHDHSHSHS
mickschumacher finally! took you both long enough
-> arthur_leclerc i'm saying like
-> yourusername fuck both of u
-> olliebearman you tell em baby
username im screaming what.
username they're MY otp
arthur_leclerc good now stop being gross in front of me
-> yourusername just remember ur gf likes me more.
-> arthur_leclerc NOW THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THAT
username THE TEXT THE TEXT THE TEXT IM DEAD
-> username if someone said that to me i'll cry omg
charles_leclerc this made my day! been waiting for this since forever! 🤍
-> yourusername WOAH WHAT
-> charles_leclerc yeah the entire grid has been waiting for you and ollie to get together
-> yourusername ahahahaha!!! oh!!!!!! this is life altering information goodbye.
-> olliebearman why is my girlfriend running around the house screaming?
username NOT THE F1 GRID BEING INVESTED IN THESE IDIOTS
username the way this isn't friends to lovers but idiots to lovers instead
*liked by mickschumacher and arthur_leclerc*
olliebearman been telling everyone that since i was 16 ❤️
-> yourusername u own my heart actually
olliebearman my favourite!!!!!!
-> yourusername MY favourite
olliebearman gf
-> yourusername bf
username GOODNIGHT.
username see y'all on the highway tonight
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, pierregasly and 814,629 others
olliebearman something about how one single thread of gold tied me to you
tagged yourusername
username idiots *affectionate*
username THE SCREAM I JUST LET OUT
username INVISIBLE STRING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username THE CAPTION WHY AM I CRYING
username screaming internally crying throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head pulling my hair yelling kicking
username the way my happiness lies with them
username alr. ok. ( AHAHSHSHDBDHAJAJJS)
mickschumacher photo credits for 3rd and 6th would be very much appreciated
-> olliebearman you threw up .5 seconds later
-> mickschumacher IT WAS THE TACOS OKAY
-> olliebearman sure
username THEY'RE SO CUTE WHATCTHEFUCK
username would die for them actually
-> username would kill for them
username ollie im gonna fight u
username SHE'S EVERYTHING HE'S JUST KEN
*liked by olliebearman*
username FUCKING FINALLY
username the sigh of relief that just left me goddamn
username honestly never thought i'd see this day
-> username NO BC THE WAY OLLIE WAS LIKE "bro dude brother mate" LIKE NO THAT'S NOT HOW U DO IT
-> username the way i just KNOW that y/n pulled him not the other way around
username this is my canon event i SWEAR
carla.brocker she's giggling
-> yourusername NO I'M NOT
-> olliebearman it's okay love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username the way ollie is "❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️" EVERY TIME he sees her
-> username and i don't blame him one bit
username they're so adorable i could cry
pierregasly 3 drivers owe me money, thank you for making it happen 🫡
-> olliebearman happy to help?????
username NOT THE F1 GRID BETTING ON THEM WHAT THE FUCK
username THE TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS
username oh he's in LOVE love
arthur_leclerc the slowest slow burn to ever burn
-> olliebearman we weren't that bad
-> arthur_leclerc "i'm so in love with her i could cry" you were saying?
-> username arthur really pulled out the receipts
-> username bro heard the biggest lie of his life and said lemme correct u real quick
-> username the absolute silence on ollie's end is sending me 💀💀💀
yourusername ur so golden i love u
-> olliebearman i love you more <3
yourusername OKAYYYY the taylor swift lyrics i love
-> olliebearman i have a swiftie gf so !!
yourusername that's my man ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
-> olliebearman 😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
username ahahahahahahahaha!!!!! okay!!!!!!!! TOTALLY not crying about this!!!!
username me when.
#social media au#fake instagram imagines#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman x you#ollie bearman imagine#ollie bearman instagram au#ollie bearman imagines#ollie bearman au#ollie bearman#ollie bearman blurb#f2 imagines#f2 x reader#f2 x you#f2 x y/n
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Homemade Pasta but... getting tickled?
summary is this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t94mN4gFFEE
this is kind of just a short fic i wrote for timestamp 11:10
the person i stole the prompt to this fanfic from is @lees-4-mcyt
Ted Nivison and Ranboo were recording a video of them making homemade pasta. But the process included a twist. The two’s arms were connected to a device that they bought which whenever one of them pressed a button it would send a shock through the other’s body. But instead of hurting, the shock tickled every time it happened. The two had as well sabotaged each other a few times by prodding, poking or scribbling at each other.
“This is mine, right? I made this.” Ted stated, holding the remote control in his gesturing at the ‘sheet of spaghetti’ that Ranboo had created and not yet cut. "No.. I made that.” Ranboo denied. “You sure?” Ted asked, pressing the button on the remote control sending tingly electric shocks throughout Ranboo’s body. Ranboo giggled out. “OhohoH, jeHEHEsUS!” Ranboo hugged himself, reaching out and prodding Ted in the side. “Noho! I mahahade it!” Ranboo denied once again. “Ohohoi! Yohohou want a nihihine? Hohow abohout a nine?” Ted asked while giggling from the prod he got in the side, turning the power up and pressing the button. “AHahAHAHAH! N-Nohoho! Whyhyhy ahare you puhuhunihishing mehe fohor being behehetter?!” Ranboo cried.
“How about a fucking TEN, bitch?!” Ted upped the level to ten, and hit the button once more. “NAHAHAHA!! Ohoh myhy gohod!” Ranboo laughed. “Yeah! Who’s is it, Ranboo?! I don’t think I heard it correctly before!” Ted exclaimed, reaching over and scribbling at Ranboo’s underarm while his arms were raised up. “OHOHOKAY, FIhihiIne! Ihit’s yohOHOHOUrs! GeheHEHET ohohout oHOHOF thEHEHEre!” Ranboo cried out, scooting away. “Yeah, that’s what I thought! That’s what we like to hear, thank you, Ranboo. I did make this!” Ted said proudly, putting the levels to Ranboo’s down to what he had it at before.
“Yohohour mehean.” Ranboo crossed his arms. “Oh, I’M mean, eh?!” Ted exclaimed, tackling Ranboo to the floor. He brought the controller down with him, and pressed the button repeatedly a few times. “AH- WaHAHAHAit, nohoHOHOhoho! Tehed, whahat about the spaghehehettiEHEHEHEHEe?!” Ranboo held his hands up, as if to protect himself, then hugged himself and giggled at the ticklish shocks electrocuting his body. “The spaghetti can wait for five minutes, bitch!” Ted yelled before digging into Ranboo’s torso, still clicking the button. “AHAHAHAHAHAH!! TehehEHEHEHEHEHED, NOhohoHOHOHO!!” Ranboo squealed.
All the camera could see, more considered hear, was the squealing of Ranboo. Ranboo and Ted might have been twitching the whole time, but that didn’t stop the tickle fight that went on between them on the floor.
~
thnx for reading!!
this is my first fic(?)
if i decide to i might write some more to this
& thnx for @lees-4-mcyt for the stolen idea 😈 (no but rly if i didnt see ur post talking abt it i would continue to be braindead for smth to write)
and slimey out ✌
-slime
#lee!ranboo#ler!ranboo#lee!ted nivison#ler!ted nivison#lees-4-mcyt#slimey-fics#stole this prompt#promptwastaken/joking#slimey-ficlets#sort of
50 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
monochrxm-blog
{prince}
sallyhawkinsnetwork-blog
Sally Hawkins Network
fbbmax
fbbmax
futurefilmman
Random Awesome