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Y'know someone's probably waxed poetic about this already but it's on my mind so I'm gonna do it again.
When it comes to encouraging people to learn about native plants and habitat and involving themselves and their yards in the wider ecosystem, you gotta meet them where they're at.
And maybe that means they won't go as far into it as you are or would like them to in your wildest dreams. But even small steps count towards the bigger picture and I think we need to appreciate that more.
An example from my own life is my mom and the current gardening project we're working on. We're planning out the garden beds in the front of the yard by the mailbox--my mom's previous plantings for the most part haven't worked out, so I'm taking a crack at it.
I'm a pollinator gardening enthusiast who cares more about attracting as many butterflies bees and hummingbirds as possible than keeping things 'neat' and 'tidy'. However, not only do we live in an HOA neighborhood (though not as intense as some other stories I've heard), but I know my mother--an interior designer who has a deeply vested care for making sure the exterior of the house looks as Nice as possible.
We're still getting a pollinator garden in the front though. How? I'm meeting her where she's at, I'm making some concessions, she's making some concessions, but ultimately we're making something that works for the both of us. She doesn't want the plants too tall and messy? We'll trim them back in fall and winter--the insects can use the backyard garden to nest in. She doesn't want things too wild and bushy and weedy? We'll add a nice mulch to the beds, keep things a bit spaced out until they grow in to their larger sizes. She doesn't know the latin names for the plants I'm asking for, let alone how to pronounce them to ask for them at a garden center? That's fine, I don't know the Latin names for most things anyways, let's just use common names.
Does she care that the garden will attract butterflies and hummingbirds? Not intrinsically--she sees it as more of a bonus, if anything. She just cares about what color everything will be and if it'll be easy to maintain. The fact that they're native plants barely registers as a plus side to her. And honestly? That is fine.
If I approached this problem with a hardheaded attitude on how I wanted it to be just as wild and free as my backyard garden? There wouldn't be any native plants in the front beds. It's not like I didn't teach my mom things, but I didn't lecture her like she was lesser just for not knowing or caring as much about native gardening as I do. And that, ultimately, made her more open to the idea than she would've been if I looked down on her like I've seen too many people do to others.
Not everyone is going to develop a deeply seated care about native plants and Latin names and I don't think it's reasonable to expect that. Meet people where they're at and you just might get a lot more done. Meet people where they're at and you just might find they'll get excited enough to learn more--but if they don't want to learn more, that is fine.
We can't expect everyone on the globe to suddenly become plant experts rattling off Latin names left and right and professionally ID'ing native and invasive plants. In the same way we wouldn't expect everyone to suddenly learn the ins and outs of learning code, or how to synthesize medicines, or how to properly build a house. And that is fine. Because we can lean on those who do know when these things come up.
I lost track of where this was going but. Y'know????
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I thought butch is a lesbian only term?
hmmm yes and no? this is something that doesn't really have a simple answer. it depends who you ask; people have different opinions about it.
in general, the term butch means a lot of different things in the lgbt community. obviously there's butch lesbians, but it's also a term that's used in ball culture, by drag queens and gay men. it's an adjective, it's a gender, it's an orientation. i assume you're referencing the other anon, and i have no idea what they may mean when they call themselves butch. if we're talking about bisexual women then the truth is that bisexual women can have just as complex experiences with gender and presentation as lesbians and i don't really think it benefits anybody to exclude them from the community.
like i said previously, butch is not just an "aesthetic"; there's more to it than just dressing a certain way. i think it's way more harmful to pretend like other women don't also grapple with their gender identity and their sexuality and their gendered roles in society-- basically, we should celebrate our similarities rather than argue our differences.
a lot of the time people say bisexuals can't be butches because they still "cater to men" which to me is just a gross thing to say. there are plenty of bi people who prefer women, who do not pursue men, who are gender nonconforming; and even if they do prefer men, if they date men, that still doesn't mean they're "catering" to anybody. it's a very... dehumanizing and misogynistic attitude to have when talking about bi women imo (and straight women as well)
the term butch/femme was historically used by all gay women; butch/femme in this context, are roles that came about in the working-class lesbian bar scene in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. there were plenty of bisexual women that went to lesbian bars and filled these roles as well. there's bulldagger, bulldyke, and stud, that came out of Black lesbian communities. there's kiki, which isn't used at all anymore, to describe lesbians that don't identify as either. there are people that will insist that bisexuals use the term "stag" and "doe" which i don't think is fair; most people do not know what these terms mean and there is no "stag community" as far as i'm aware. i'm pretty sure these are just tumblr terms.
what it all comes down to is that when people see a gnc woman in the street, they're not going to rush over and politely ask if she's a lesbian or not. to be blunt, most of the time they're going to call them the same slur, regardless. the world is going to treat them the same, regardless. so for me personally i'd rather offer them a little bit of relief in a community that is familiar and understanding rather than exclude them to face that kind of shit all alone iykwim.
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