#50% PLEASURE 50% PAIN sorry nevermind
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#hidden agenda#joke x zo#bl drama#thai drama#gmmtv series#**#joke r u ok you look hungry#i have so many gifs of him eyeing zo like zo's a happy meal#i started giffing again and it was 70% painful 10% fun#20% designated power of will#50% PLEASURE 50% PAIN sorry nevermind#i tried *golden star*#ust
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VF Ash Chapter 5: A New Path
The person who always watched over him. This battle will be a new step forward for him…
~*Scene: VF Deck*~
Nova: It looks like the others are coming up to the deck after hearing all that noise
❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual
Person: They take too long
Arcana: All that’s left is the Tarocco
Daily: Adversity makes us stronger
Luca: Ojou-sama, are you alright? You’re not hurt!?
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Pleasure: She appears unharmed
Link: I was so worried…but I believed in her
Arcana: Where’s the Tarocco…
Felicita: Yeah
Debito: Bambina, we were worried, you know? That kid didn’t do anything to you, did he?
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be teasing
Person: No way he did
Daily: She looks happy
Place: Let’s go home already…
Pace: It feels more like he got done in by Ojou actually
❤≪Pace≫ Seems excited
Daily: I want some lasagna
Pleasure: Ojou! Thank goodness!
Place: So how are we getting back?
Ash: Shut up!
❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated
Arcana: They’re all too relaxed
Pain: Don’t gawk at me!
Person: Well she did…beat me
Liberta: Pace guessed right!
❤≪Liberta≫ Seems excited
Person: There’s no way he could have won against Ojou!
Daily: Okay! Now what…?
Ash: Don’t be so proud when all you did was watch. You’re such a kid
Liberta: Whaaat!!!
(*whack) Dante: Liberta, now is not the time!
Ash: It’s dangerous for us to talk here too long. It’s almost night
Jolly: Well Ojou-sama, have you secured the Tarocco?
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems concerned
Person: Was she at least able to do that?
Daily: Researching this ship wouldn’t be a bad idea
Ash: I’ll keep my promise. This is yours, Strawberry Head
❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated
Link: I’m not giving it to anyone else
Place: It’s…already night
Person: I don’t like how he looks down on people
Jolly: Then you’ll be coming with us. Our goal was to recover Ojou-sama and the Tarocco. And if possible, to capture you
>After we save Joshua!
(No Amore)
>Listen to what Ash has to say!
(+30 Amore)
Jolly: Joshua…do you mean that Joshua?
Jolly: If you have something to say, say it
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Jolly≫ Seems as usual
Place: A ship of the dead…it’s possible if he’s dead
Arcana: So the Tarocco is with “Joshua”
Place: The night…
Person: Is this Ojou-sama’s power of curiosity again?
Arcana: Recovering the Tarocco comes first
Ash: …My friend…Joshua, touched the Tarocco and started acting strangely. I want to know why
❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated
Person: If you’re an alchemist then help me! This guy is so annoying
Pain: There’s limits to what I can do myself
Person: He should know something
Jolly: So it’s “Justice”… “La Giustizia”…
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems as usual
Person: So it is Joshua
Person: What would Mondo say if he knew…
Arcana: The will of the Tarocco…
Jolly: Why are there some skeletons that attack us and some that don’t?
Ash: They seem to act on Joshua’s orders
(*smirk) Jolly: I see. He is quite a troublesome enemy then
(*glare)
Ash: Joshua…no, you’re “La Giustizia” now…what do you want?
Joshua: I…
(*clink)
(*whish) Joshua: Ahhhhh!!!
Ash: …Help me out!
❤≪Ash≫ Can’t seem to handle it
Person: He’s here…!
Place: This is…our last change
Link: Even if we can’t turn him back…I’ll finish this
Felicita: …
Dante: We’ll take care of the small fry. Debito, Pace, Nova, you’re with me
❤≪Dante≫ Seems to be having fun
Link: He doesn’t seem to be lying
Arcana: We couldn’t call ourselves Arcana Famiglia if we didn’t help him
Pleasure: This will be a good fight
Debito: Hyahahaha!
❤≪Debito≫ Seems happy
Place: I…
Daily: I’ll just let them deal with that
Pace: Got it!
❤≪Pace≫ Seems thrilled
Daily: Let’s do this!
Food: I want some lasagna
Place: I’m glad we came to this ship
Nova: Understood
❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual
Daily: There’s only one thing I need to do…
Link: …Looks like they’ll be fine
Arcana: I can leave the Tarocco to them
(*run)
Jolly: Joshua, you sure have become quite pathetic
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems to be mocking
Person: Can he still understand me?
Daily: I’ll test it out…
Arcana: Is that his stigmata on his left wrist?
Joshua: Jo…lly?
Jolly: You sure were impudent back then. I can’t believe you’ve been possessed by the Tarocco…
Jolly: You can just go to hell without anyone knowing of your origins
Joshua: My origins…
Jolly: It’s fine that you’ve forgotten. You’ve likely forgotten why you’re still on this ship anyway
Ash: You…don’t know anything about Joshua!!
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Ash≫ Can’t seem to handle it
Arcana: If he can reach Joshua, then having him call out to him is one way
Person: Quite an annoyance…
Person: He had a slight reaction
Person: If you know then help me!
Link: Will my voice reach him…I have to try
Pain: What do I do…
Jolly: …Oh?
Ash: Joshua has been on this ship since I was born…he’s been like and older brother and a father to me for as long as I can remember
Ash: The people on this ship are all trapped by their pasts…lost souls who don’t even know why they’re here…and Joshua’s still the one who saved me from isolation
Felicita: !
Gli Amanti: Please help them, and the lone “Il Bagatto” as well, my kind Ojou-san
Ash: You don’t know how terrifying it is to face up to actions you were unaware of. So you don’t get to talk to him like that!!!
(*shaky) Joshua: Give me…the “Wheel of Fortune”
(*whish)
Felicita: !
(*slash) Ash: Strawberry Head!
Ash: Joshua, didn’t you promise me!?
❤≪Ash≫ Can’t seem to handle it
Person: You have regrets, right?
Link: Remember your promise!
Pain: Just words won’t do anything…
Ash: You have to remember. You…saw your son in me, right!?
Felicita: !
Gli Amanti: I wish for you to help those who have been hurt
Gli Amanti: Once you do, the bond between the two of you will allow me to lend you my power…Fortuna’s powers are not to be used lightly after all
>Ash, take my hand
(+50 Amore)
>“Gli Amanti”, grant me power…
(No Amore)
Ash: Your hand…?
Ash: Felicita…?
❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused ❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused
Link: Is Strawberry Head reading my heart again…
Person: I forgot
Pain: What is she…
Arcana: Arcana…powers?
Person: I forgot
Pain: What is she…
~*Flashback: VF Captain’s Cabin*~
Ash: …Dad…
Joshua: Ash, you’re here again?
Ash: …Yeah…
Joshua: I was a witness to the promise you made your father, but you know you won’t be a proper successor at this rate?
Ash: Shut up. I know I said that but now that Dad’s gone…
Joshua: I’m here, right?
Ash: But Joshua, you’re…dead
Joshua: Yes. I am dead. But, I have “Vascello Fantasma” and this stigmata…so I won’t disappear even during the day
Joshua: My memories from life are unclear…like water slipping through my fingers
Joshua: Did I tell you? I had a son too
Ash: Joshua…
Joshua: I wanted him to live free like his mother, so I gave him a name meaning “freedom”. But…on his forehead was…
Joshua: …Nevermind. When I saw you cry over your father…I was very envious
Joshua: Ash, will you be my son? On the day I pass on, please shed tears for me too
Joshua: And promise me that you won’t cry again until that happens. Just like you did your father
Ash: Don’t talk about promises that won’t come true!
Joshua: It will. You will guide this ship to my family someday. The Tarocco…connects this ship to my son
Ash: What does that…
Joshua: I’ll pass on when that happens, right?
Ash: …Then what’s in it for me…Joshua…this is an equivalent exchange, right?
Joshua: Let’s see…I can be your servant. Well, nothing will really change. But it’s nice to have someone who’s always there for you, right?
Ash: …Okay
Joshua: Then promise me. I haven’t lost my memories from after I died. I’ll always remember this
~*Flashback: VF Captain’s Cabin*~
Joshua: …Ash…
Ash: What?
Joshua: …My stigmata…it’s reacting to a new contractor…
Ash: A new contractor…? Won’t there be more passengers if it goes badly!?
Joshua: …Ash, why don’t we bring the Tarocco to this ship?
Ash: The Tarocco…you’re right…we’ll put it back where it belongs…and that’s all
Ash: …The Tarocco connects this ship and your son…
Ash: I’ll…be fine on my own now
~*End Flashback*~
Joshua: I want to…return to the Tarocco…
(*clink) (*slash)
Felicita: Hyah!
Attack!
>Hit/p>
(+50 Amore)
>Miss
(-50 Amore)
Joshua: ….UWAAAHHH…
Ash: Joshua…
Gli Amanti: “La Giustizia”…return to your slumber…
Ash: That was…your powers just now?
❤≪Ash≫ Seems concerned
Link: I guess being able to connect with people’s hearts can be a righteous ability
Arcana: Amazing…
Felicita: ! …
Ash: It’s fine. I’m not mad. It’s just…I’m sorry
Ash: It can’t be easy to see people’s troubled pasts and memories…I didn’t realize that
Ash: I’m sorry for everything I said yesterday
Joshua: ……I…
Ash: Joshua!
❤≪Ash≫ Seems concerned
Pleasure: He’s back!
Arcana: Because of Strawberry Head’s powers?
Pain: That kick seriously…
Joshua: Ash…what happened?
Jolly: Hmph…you haven’t changed much
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems to be hiding something
Person: …Neither of us have
Person: It’s a sign that he died young
???: I can’t see very well here
Felicita: !
>Jolly, you knew and didn’t say anything?
(No Amore)
>Does anybody know who Joshua’s son is?
(+10 Amore)
Jolly: Obviously
Ash: …Tell us!!
Felicita: !
Jolly: I will. What will you give me in return?
Ash: You drive a hard bargain…I’ll give you one thing from the hold
(*smirk)
Joshua: Thank you, Ash
Ash: Thank goodness…ok, come on Sunglasses, tell me!
Jolly: Joshua, see that blonde boy over there?
Jolly: That’s “Liberta”
Joshua: That’s…
Dante: The holder of the “Justice” Tarocco…was Mondo’s son who ran away, right?
Joshua: Mondo…
Jolly: *chuckle*…You should have only told him that in exchange for this ship
Ash: You’re…seriously the worst
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Dante≫ Seems concerned
Pain: I can’t believe she didn’t realize it
Person: The one in question should just step forward…
Daily: I’ll pay him back in double
Arcana: So he’s Mondo’s son
Person: Which means…
❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated ❤≪Jolly≫ Seems to be teasing
Person: Just say it!!!
Arcana: Doesn’t anyone else know!?
Pain: I’m definitely still mad about the day before!
Daily: He is much too honest…
Pleasure: It was the perfect opportunity to acquire this ship
❤≪Jolly≫ Seems to be having fun ❤≪Ash≫ Seems to be mocking
Person: If he doesn’t remember after hearing his name then I give up
Arcana: You will return the Tarocco
Daily: …It will be a heavy price
Person: What’s wrong with him…
Joshua: ……Liberta?
Liberta: Huh? Uh yeah, I’m Liberta?
Joshua: Are you happy?
Liberta: Yeah, I am
Joshua: Alright…I’m glad…and please tell Mondo that I’m always wishing for his happiness
Liberta: Wait!? Mondo!? Huh, why!?
Joshua: Please live freely out in the world
Liberta: …O-Okay
Joshua: ……
Joshua: Ash, thank you for everything…
❤≪Ash≫ Seems to want to cry
Arcana: I really…couldn’t do it myself
Link: I kept my promise…
Person: So he was the one he was looking for
Ash: Yeah. I’m happy for you. I was really worried that you’d always be stuck on this ship
Ash: So…I’m glad
Joshua: Ash…there’s a letter for you in the back of the drawer in the captain’s cabin…please read it
Joshua: You were also a beloved son to me
Ash: Joshua…
Joshua: Thank you, Ash. I know your wish will come true too…
Ash: …Yeah
Joshua: …Thank you for keeping your promise…
Joshua: Live happily…
Felicita: !
~*End of Scene*~
Special Voice obtained. It can be heard in the Profile section
(Continue to Famiglia Epilogue)
(Continue to ED1: 700+ Amore)
(Continue to ED2: 400+ Amore)
(Continue to ED3: <400 Amore)
#ash#arcana famiglia#vascello fantasma no majutsushi#chapter 5#solar translations#psp game#translation#releases#jolly really wants the ship
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Birth in Reverse - Part 8 (Finale)
Pairing : Plus size Reader x Bucky Barnes ; Nadia (twin morphed into Y/N) x Thor
Warning : Language, Angst, Death of Character
Word Count : 1.7k
She couldn't sleep that night, several emotions crushing through her. The day spent with Pepper was nice but Nadia still felt out of place. Physically, emotionally and mentally. The fact she hasn't heard from you since the mission made her tense and stress even more. 'Y/N? You there', she whispered in the partially lit room. No response. 'Come on please. I…I nee… nevermind', she sighed. Standing up, she put on a sweatshirt and headed to the compound's kitchen. She stopped before entering, feeling a presence in the room. "It's just me", his voice filled the place. She entered and saw Bucky. "Can't sleep either?", he asked and saw her shake her head. "Yeah me neither. You want some hot chocolat?", he asked. "Is it good?", you asked intrigued since you never had it. His eyes locked with yours, a hint of pain crossing his. "It's the best", he replied a small smile crossing his features. He served her a mug before serving himself. "Thanks", she mumbled. "You're welcome." "I'm going to the roof, you wanna join?", she asked him. He nodded and followed her, taking place on one of the couches, the warm beverage battling the night's colder breeze.
She broke the silence and told him, "I get why she likes you so much. You're a pure soul, peaceful. You have that sort of hypnotic vibe going on, attracting everyone when you arrive in a room." His eyes widened at her words, shocked at her description. He never thought that of him, always seeing himself as a damaged man, the murderer unworthy of second chances. "Wow…I ehm thank you I guess", he stuttered. Nadia chuckled and confirmed, "Like I said pure soul." You both continued sipping on the excellent chocolat. After a while she told him, you weren't reaching out to her for a while now. "There's one thing I would like to try and see if she comes back but I don't know if it's a good idea", exclaimed Nadia nervously. "Tell me maybe I can help", he leaned forward concerned. "I want to provoke her feelings by…kissing you." "What?"
"Maybe if I kiss you, she'll come back", Nadia told him and looked at his reaction which was between shock, concern and uncertainty. "Look if you don't want to, I'll try something else", Nadia stood up about to leave back inside. Before he could protest, Bucky's body jerked up and asked her to wait. She turned around and looked at him, seeing him nod. She put her mug down and stepped closer, her lips inches from his. Their breath fanning each other's faces. A second later, Nadia closed the gap and caught Bucky's lips with hers. Bucky felt the difference, even if it was the same body. Her’s was raw, fiercer, desperate while yours was sweet, slow, passionate. The kiss got feverish, Bucky's hands squeezing her hips when suddenly she jerked off him and slapped herself. 'BIIIITCH HOW DARE YOU?'
"Y/N? Finally", chuckled Nadia out of breath. 'WTF??' "It was the only way to get you back. Why did you stop interacting", asked Nadia desperately. 'Why you kissing my man? You are in so much trouble ! HE IS TOO!'. Nadia turned to Bucky and told him what you just said and saw his Adam Apple bubble up and down. "Sorry", he mumbled under his breath. 'YOU WILL BE', your angry thoughts surfacing your shared mind. "I'm gonna go", said Nadia and headed to your room. "Why have you been MIA?", she asked you. 'I didn't want to interfere'. She shook her head not understanding, "Interfere in what? I don't get it". 'On you getting a life, having a chance for happiness', you replied with a small but firm voice. "Oh", she breathed out, not expecting that. She felt her eyes getting wet and declared with a shaky voice, "I can't be happy if there is a missing part in it. I - I can make it if you're not in it. We're sisters. We're connected for the best and the worst." Your body began to tremble, too many emotions crossing your souls. You spent the rest of the night figuring a way out of cohabitation without one or the other let go.
——
"Just a sec", shouted Nadia across the room. She was finishing doing her hair when the knocks on her room door echoed. She reached the handle and opened, facing Happy. He presented a bag to her and told her it was from Pepper. She thanked him and went back in the room. Inside was a note saying 'The party won't be the same without you in this dress' and Nadia reached the dress in question. It was the one she tried on during the shopping spree with her aunt. 'That's nice of her', you said. Nadia nodded amazed. She put it on and looked at herself in the miroir, feeling beautiful. 'They're not ready', you said amusement laced in your voice. "Hell no they aren't", smirked Nadia. The next firm knocks told Nadia that Thor stood behind the door. It was their official first date. They wanted to keep it among the compound and that's how they decided one of Tony Stark's parties would be the best. Not a traditional first date and probably not the most romantic one but you were beyond that at this point. When he saw her/you his eyes sparkled. "You look ravishing Lady Nadia."
"Please just Nadia and you look amazing too", she commented flirty. He presented his arm and accepting it, they joined the others at the party. They spend the night chatting, dancing and laughing with the team. You and Nadia never felt so much love in a room, wherever it was amicably or romantically. Eventually the party ended and Thor insisted in bringing Nadia to her room. "I've had the best night ever, thank you Thor", she told him. "The pleasure was all mine." Their eyes kept switching between their lips while closing the gap between each other. When their lips collided, Thor's lighting prickled Nadia's skin deliciously. They kissed like there was no tomorrow : wild, passionate, desperate. When they disengaged, Nadia felt her hand tickle and her eyes widened. "Oh no", she whispered before her hand smacked Thor in the face. 'Payback's a bitch !', you exclaimed amused. Nadia caressed Thor's face and apologized. "Sorry long story. Y/N says hi." He frowned but smiled that dorky smile of his and shook his head, "No problem I understand that Lady Y/N's heart is on someone else." Nadia bit her lips from smiling so hard and kissed him once more before telling him goodnight and head inside her room.
It's been two days since the party and Nadia tried to share her time between Bucky and Thor. You were in the middle of training when Fury called an emergency meeting. He told the team, they were seeking a Hydra attack bigger than they ever had. Everyone was called on the mission and suited up as quickly as possible. Hydra managed to infiltrate two severely protected nuclear weapon sites. It turns out some of the commanders were Hydra members. The team was split in two to cover both of the sites. You/Nadia were with Bucky, Thor, Tony, Wanda, Vision, Rhodes and Peter while Steve, Sam, Natasha, Bruce, Scott, Tchalla, the Dora Milaje army on the other.
"Be safe people", commented Tony through the comms. Nadia, Bucky and Thor all shared a look. And the fight began ; the order taking out every Hydra agent without mercy and at that you were the best. You all fought for what felt like hours. You ended up in the room here the nuke was being prepared for launch. "Get away from that controller", she screamed at the man, who only laughed loudly. "Make me", he challenged her. She groaned in rage and ran towards him. She quickly disarmed him and killed him. She heard the panel light up and saw the building's roof open up. She tried to stop the countdown and was succeeding when the sound of shoots echoed in the room. She reached out to her stomach and saw her hands filled with blood. It all came like a violent wave crushing her, she fell on her knees. Bucky and Thor entered the room, their faces screaming horror. They saw the previous hidden Hydra agent stand behind her and pull the trigger one last time. The last thing she remembered was them. One final good thing before the grand ending.
Bucky ended by tacking the member out while Thor fried the panel's system. They turned her around, her pulse weakly bumping their final moments. "Stay with me Y/N, please. You can't leave me", cried Bucky. "Nadia, my queen keep fighting. Please don't go", echoed Thor same feelings. The last thing you felt was levitation and then blackness.
You woke up, your face sweaty, gasping for air. "Good Lord you scared the hell out of me", you heard beside you. You turned your head and saw Nadia sitting beside you, a worried expression on her face. "Nadia", you whispered in shock. You touched her arms and copped her face in disbelief "You're here with me." "Ok you're starting to really freaking me out. Chill, you fell asleep on the desk", she replied her brows still frowning. "You had a nightmare?", she asked. You looked around and found yourself in the college room where you had the bomb vision. Lost, you declared "Yeah I think I did but not everything was terrible." A man in his 50 entered the auditorium and began his speech. "You ok? ", whispered Nadia in your ear. You nodded and quickly replied that it just felt so real.
"I have the pleasure to introduce to you the Avengers who kindly passed by to share some advices with you", said the Dean making the room roar in anticipation. You saw every member of the team enter, the team that you were still a member of a few minutes ago. Your eyes landed on Bucky while you heard Nadia's sneaky comment about Thor, "He yummy". You couldn't keep your eyes from him and he must have sensed it because they lock with yours. He frowned slightly and you truly knew that all of it was only a dream. Feeling caught, you fixed your eyes at the window waiting for the bomb to explode the building but it never happened. It was just another (bitter)sweet summer day.
* gifs not mine, credit to owners*
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When I Was In Love (M)
Sexual Liberation Ch 14-Everyone Focused
Pairings: Hui/Kino/Hongseok/E’Dawn x Reader/OC
Genre: College AU, Smut, Angst
Summary: College is about experimentation, being free, and having no strings attached fun. Hui, Kino, And E’Dawn have messed around with their best friend ever since last spring. Now that summer is over and they’re back in America, their sexual antics have intensified especially when everyone starts catching feels. Throw Hongseok into the mix and it creates a swirling mess of emotions and an ultimate decision that might hurt everyone.
Warning: a lot of angst, multiple POV’s
Features: there’s some small sexual details but not any full scenes.
Word Count: <10k
A/N: Hey guys and thanks for reading all the way to the end of S.L. Thank you for being patient with the extended delay between Ch 13 and this one. I’m still in the process of writing more Pentagon stories, it’s just taking me longer because lmao I have 50 million ideas and never am able to finish them. I appreciate all the feedback for the story and am still in the process of getting all the chapters updated. This one is written a bit differently and I hoped that it would give more insight on everyone’s relationship with the MC. One more little thing...don’t hate me ok? See you at the end of the chapter!
Teenage Heartbreak Queen-Kino
I sighed and ran a hand over my face as I surveyed my almost barren room. Spring semester was officially over and i had to stuff my entire life into a luggage and head back to Korea for the summer. My last few days in America had been spent cramming for finals and packing and I longed for more sleep. My body was starting to give out on me. I was hardly looking forward to the almost 17 hour flight back. I stepped out of my room, hauling out a bag of trash to the hallway. Beside me were the empty rooms of my hyungs, already long gone and living their lives back home. Their nonexistent presence made the dorm eerily quiet and left me too much in my head. There were thoughts bubbling up that I didn’t have enough energy to exert on right now but they still weighed on my shoulders. I hadn’t gotten a chance to ask Hui-hyung or Hyo-hyung if they had said goodbye to her.
We had been around her almost the entire semester like we were all attached to one another and clinging to some semblance of fun, pleasure, and the most nauseating and scary feeling of possibly love. Nights on end were spent with us occupying each others beds. I had given up my virginity to her in a whirlwind of anger and frustration. I would never forget the way she looked pressed against the mirrors of the dance practice room; her breath and heated body creating foggy imprints as I pushed into her from behind. I had been confident at first but as soon as she was naked in front of me I choked. Every nerve in my body seemed to have tensed and I almost chickened out. But the way she clutched at me, begged me to keep going, it spurred me further until we collapsed on the floor with a layer of stickiness between us.
We were fuck buddies; in fact she had made it abundantly clear that we were only fuck buddies. I wasn’t any more important than Hui- hyung or Hyojong-hyung. Our first night together was just an experience she could add onto her list while I was still forcing myself to come to terms with the fact that she slept with other people. I had given in to her persuasion of threesomes, especially when we had all found out that we had been fucking her, but lately a nagging voice in the back of my mind had been stirring up feelings of jealousy and minute possessiveness. I didn’t want to start thinking about the pathetic, romantic, and scary things that I had never experienced before. I repressed it more each time they threatened to rip through the surface. I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t slowly falling in love with her and that as soon as I ran away to Korea everything would be fixed.
I, myself, didn’t want to say goodbye to her even though that was the right thing to do. It would possibly give me some closure instead of giving into my cowardice and also given the uncertainty of our future together. I was still working to see if I could continue studying abroad and if i succeeded there was no guarantee that I would have classes again with her, even though we were both dance majors. I was still afraid though, always afraid of everything with her. I tiptoed around that fine line of love and friendship too often to my liking. Just one look into her eyes now would send me to my knees in a fit of desperation and longing. I shook my head to try and clear the quarreling thoughts from my mind and instead go back to making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I stretched my arms above my head and yawned before peeling off the miniature calendar I had above my desk. I threw the angry reminder of deadlines and stress into another trash bag, ready to toss it into the hallway next.
I was rechecking my desk drawers to see if I had emptied them out for sure when there was a rushed pounding at the front door. I was confused as to who the hell it would be. It was almost midnight and I would have to leave for my red eye flight around 4:30. I didn’t have time to deal with anyone. I grumbled and stalked over to the door, swinging it open and ready to yell at whoever was going to make me late.
My mouth snapped shut as soon as I saw her. Her cheeks were streaked with tears. Her chest was heaving as she tried to regain her breath and she looked at me as if i was a beacon of hope in her world. She held me tight, burying her face in my chest and clutching at my shirt. I barely had time to formulate a response. My body reacted instinctively, wrapping my arms around her. I knew that I didn’t want to let her go. I could infer that perhaps she was crying over the hyungs leaving. Maybe they had talked with her and she still wasn’t okay with it or maybe it was something entirely different. I swallowed down my sigh, irritated that my plan to avoid her had gone awry. I had to face my demons now which was a battle I hadn’t prepared for.
“Th-they left.” She said through soft hiccups. “They didn’t even say goodbye. Why would they do that? I thought-” Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to steady her voice. “I thought we were friends. They should’ve at least told me when they were leaving!”
So they hadn’t told her at all.
She wiped the tears from her eyes with her sweater sleeve and continued. “I just...we spent all this time together. I thought it was the least that they could do.” She looked up at me finally and I knew what she was going to ask before it even left her lips. My hold spread to her shoulders, clutching tightly to brace myself for my impending lie. “Were you even going to tell me when you left?”
“Of course,” It came out much smoother than I had anticipated. “But there was just so much going on with finals and packing up that I almost didn’t have time. I leave in a few hours. My flight’s at 6 but I have to leave around 4:30 or so.”
“Oh great. Just great.” She fiddled with a stray thread on her sleeve, averting her gaze. “Nevermind then. I’ll leave you to your packing.”
I pushed my hair back and exhaled. “It’s not like that ok? Sometimes saying goodbye is harder than we think. Sometimes it just feels easier to not do it at all. We care about you...maybe a little too much.” I mumbled at the end.
“It certainly doesn’t feel that way.”
“Well, it’s the truth. I’m sorry that they didn’t let you know, hell I didn’t even know when they were leaving until they walked out the door.” I wanted to invite her inside. It felt just wrong to leave her out here to wallow and stay caught up in emotions that were obviously paining her. I nodded towards the inside of the dorm, bringing her in and shutting the door softly behind us.
“Kino...i really am gonna miss you. I’m gonna miss all of you. Well I already do but you know what I mean.”
“You mean you’re gonna miss our dicks.” I nudged her, trying to lighten the mood just a bit. She cracked a little smile finally and hit my stomach playfully.
“Not just that, jerk! We had a lot of good times together. I mean I’m even missing Wooseok and Shinwon, Yuto, Yanan, Yeo Onnie, Jinho-everyone! I know i’m heading back home soon too but home doesn’t feel like home without my friends. Sorry,” she sniffed. “I’m being lame.”
I shook my head. “No, you’re not. You’re seriously not. I…” My heart felt heavy again. “I’m gonna miss you too.” That confession, that tiny little confession, was when i felt myself cross that threshold. She was no longer just my friend. She was someone I wanted, someone I thought about, someone I sang about, someone I danced with, someone I felt in the very core of my soul. She was the person I was in love with.
Her smile ignited happiness inside me like a phoenix flame that rose from the ashes of weeks of lying to myself. She wrapped her arms around me again and I kept her closer this time. I settled my arms at her lower back practically crushing her to me. And when we separated just a bit, our eyes locked. Our soft chuckles of uncertainty filled the space between us until our lips closed the distance, meeting in a rush so intense I almost felt lightheaded. Her hands trailed to my shoulders, my hair, my face, seeming like she wanted to engrave the way i felt into her skin. Step by step we moved back towards my room. I had to catch her when she tripped over my suitcase and she laughed. It was like music to my ears that could inspire me to write a book of lyrics. I kicked the suitcase out of the way and we continued our journey to my bed. Our clothes eventually got tossed aside in between kisses and sweet caresses. My body always reacted to her touch at a moments notice. Every moan she made when i laid nibbles to her neck and shoulders and the way her breath stayed in her lungs as my fingers dove between her thighs had my blood boiling.
I loved the way she felt. Her slick lips always made me hungry and though I hated going down on anyone I would do it for her. She coated my tastebuds with each trail i made with my tongue. My finger dug into her plush thighs, feeling the muscles ripple when I hit a particularly sensitive spot. When i sucked her into my mouth she created a sweet symphony that made me dig my hips into the mattress just to try and relieve some of the pressure. Her hands were back to my hair again, clawing into my scalp and wrenching locks around her fingers. That pressure sent a shiver down my spine and i dove deeper, trying to dig out the orgasm that she deserved.
She said my name as if it was her new favorite curse word, over and over again until she could barely breathe. I pulled away from her then, licking my lips and wiping her trace from my chin and nose. I kissed up her stomach, towards her breasts and neck until our lips met again and i could share her between us. “Please Kino…” She set her forehead against mine, holding me between her palms. “Please don’t leave me…”
My heart shattered. She knew that i had to. I knew that i had to. I couldn’t stay here in the summer. I had nowhere to live, no money to support myself, and permission that only lasted nine months. The truth was more painful than the goodbye at this point and the only thing that could bring us comfort was more lies. I swallowed hard and finally looked at her. Just as i sank into her depths and pulled her close I told her what I wished was the god awful truth. “I’ll never leave you.”
Moonlight-Hongseok
“That was literally the best Marvel movie! Hands down!” She said as we exited the theater.
“No way? The best? Are you sure it’s better than Hulk and your pretty boy Thor?” I laughed. We had just finished seeing Venom in our town’s local theater, weeks after it’s initial release and taking full advantage of student discount day. With the end of the semester creeping closer and piecing together everything that happened between us at Halloween, it was really nice to do something together as friends. I had to admit that I still thought about that night. I tortured myself with wondering if she thought about it too. I couldn’t believe the way I had acted then. It wasn’t like me at all and I felt ashamed more than anything. If I hadn’t drank that night I wouldn’t even have had a ounce of the courage I did to ask her to help me lose my virginity. In fact, I would’ve been a bumbling mess and messed everything up. A small part of me had worried that we would never be the same after that, that our relationship was over and could never be repaired. But when she asked me to go with her to this movie it was like a light washed over my heart and I could breathe a little easier.
I had no idea what to really call our “relationship” to be quite honest. I stuck with the term ‘friends’ but i had come to realize all too quickly that I wanted that term to morph into something better. I felt like a preteen with a crush. Every time she was near me my heart would race, my palms would get sweaty, and i overthought everything so bad that I ended up stuttering more than i meant to. I wasn’t sure if she even noticed but I did and it only made me more anxious. Even tonight, my face felt red hot with embarrassment. During the movie, she got closer to me and i wished the armrest between our chairs hadn’t existed. Then, as cliche as it sounded, our hands touched when we both dug into the popcorn bucket at the same time. She made a joke out of it, hitting the back of my hand playfully and shooing me away from her hoard. It made me smile more than anything, my whole body tingling with giddiness. God, she was so beautiful and I felt like I still wasn’t even on her radar.
We walked to her car, occasionally bumping into each other. “Yes, i like it even better than Thor, okay? Though Ragnarok was extremely good too. Venom was my favorite in Spiderman 3 even though no one likes to talk about that movie. I think he more than made up for Tobey Mcguire’s awkward dancing and emo hair.”
I laughed and shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat. “Well, you may be onto something even if I don’t agree entirely.”
“Yeah, yeah. Ironman, blah blah blah.”
“Hey!” I nudged her with my shoulder, making her stumble. “Don’t talk about him like that!”
She giggled and ran ahead of me. “Ironman couldn’t even save Spidey from the Infinity Stones.”
I gasped loudly. “You take that back! That was a very emotional time for me and you know it!”
She unlocked her car and opened the door, sliding in while I was still prepared to make an argument. I shuffled quickly to catch up and get in beside her. “You know, it’s still pretty early.”
“Yeah it is. I can start my presentation about how what you just said was completely wrong and uncalled for!” I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted.
“Seokkie, you know I’m just joking.” The nickname, no matter how simple, made my stomach explode into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. I pretended to pout some more which made her laugh and tug at my coat, desperate to get on my good side again. She began poking my sides, making me squirm and swat at her annoying antics. I loved the way we could joke around. It felt like I was at home, a place of safety and protectiveness that barricaded me from the worse feelings I had. I could be myself around her, wholeheartedly. I didn’t have to keep up the facade my parents wanted me to create. I didn’t even have to think about grading papers and essays or trying to deal with my professor breathing down my neck. When i was with her I was just a normal 20-something year old college student enjoying life and taking it easy. It was the best feeling in the world to forget about the worries that constantly bombarded my mind. The freedom to talk about what made me happy with the person that made me happy was something that I held onto so dearly.
In between me struggling to keep her prodding at bay she turned to tickling me, a torture I hated more than anything. I grabbed her hands and squeezed them tight, turning towards her and accidentally knocking our heads together. We reeled back, rubbing the sore spots on our foreheads as the result of my stupidity. “Crap, sorry!” I said.
She winced and rubbed at the pain faster. “Way to give me a concussion with that hard ass head of yours!”
“Well, if you hadn’t been tickling me we wouldn’t have this problem, huh?!” I looked up at her, noticing how we were now face to face with the center console barely putting a barrier between us. Her eyes held my gaze for a moment before jumping up to my forehead. Suddenly, she leaned in close, pressing her lips to the tender area. It only lasted micro seconds but I clung to the way her perfume wafted into my senses and the gentleness she exhibited. I opened my mouth trying to fathom any response but nothing came out. I was stunned, retreating to my feelings of a preteen boy in love.
In love...A tiny word that held so much weight to it. Could i really be in love with someone I just met not even two months ago? I had no idea what love was like but I knew what I felt was something entirely different than anything I had ever experienced. Surely, if people could believe that there was love at first sight then there was no harm in feeling the most vulnerable of connections with someone after two months. My heart thundered in my chest every time that word came up and I could feel my entire body quaking with fear of the unknown. What’s to say would happen in this car with her by my side? What did i even want to happen in this very moment? Did i want her to profess her love to me or did I want to face the possible reality of her tossing my heart into a forgotten oblivion? “What are you thinking about?” The question came out as a breath against my lips and she seemed to have gotten closer to me. Her elbow rested on the console while her fingers eased over mine.
I wanted to scream that I was thinking about her, always thinking about her, in the best ways, the worst ways, the most lustful and sinful of ways. I cleared my throat as if to remind myself to put the latter thought in a trapped box where it belonged. Instead, i came up with a generic answer that still didn’t seem to satisfy her. “Just the movie…”
“Liar.” She caught on instantly. “Something’s on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Uh…” I had no idea how to respond without possibly hinting at my true feelings.
“We could go back to the plateau. Remember?”
“Yeah, i remember getting drunk off my ass and making a fool out of myself.”
“Well, there’s no alcohol this time so no harm, no foul right?” She set her keys in the ignition, bringing the car to life. “C’mon, if you still don’t want to talk we don’t have to but i just…” Her voice seemed to grow a bit quieter. “I don’t want this night to end just yet.”
I swallowed hard and nodded, my mind taking off into a deep swirling galaxy of thoughts. Even though I had gotten drunk that night, i gained all the courage in the world to kiss her. Alcohol seemed to be my vibranium- this sword and shield that provided me with everything I need to lead me into conquest. Yet it was also my kryptonite because I felt like without it I was weak and susceptible to making whatever it was between me and her worse. The car ride had settled into a quietness with only the soft sounds of the radio in the background. I looked out the window, watching the sidewalks of our college town filled with people bar hopping as we drove through downtown. The further away we got from the hustle and bustle the better it felt to be with her. It was like we were in our own little world when we got to the top of the plateau. The lights of the city were brighter than the last time we were here but we could still see some of the stars in the night sky. She set the car in park and cut the engine before stepping out. “C’mon, lay on the hood with me!”
I smiled and followed her lead, settling myself on the hood. I set my back against the windshield, putting my hands behind my head. She sat beside me, not letting any space between us. “It’s chilly out. This was probably a bad idea.” She chuckled.
“Yeahhh, probably. The wind is definitely brisk.” I shivered a little and felt her scuttle closer until her head rested on my chest. I stiffened completely beneath her, afraid that she could hear the way my heart was banging against my ribcage. Her arm wrapped around my waist and she left out a soft content sigh. While this seemed to be perfectly normal for her I was aching with thoughts of what it all meant. I drifted my eyes down to her watching the way she was enamored by the stars. The question I longed to ask burned on my tongue and i dared myself to ask it. “Hey...um...I wanted to ask you something…”
She turned her heads towards me and all I could do was stare at her lips. It was like she was hell bent on sucking the ability to talk out of me. “Hmm?”
“C-can I kiss you?” WHAT?! Hongseok, what in the actual hell? You were supposed to ask her about the Halloween party and what it all meant for you as friends, NOT to ask her to kiss you. I winced and closed my eyes wishing that I could disappear from this entire plane of existence. Her expression had switched as soon as the words left my mouth and now she she seemed like she was at a lost for words too. I tried my best to deflect the question. “I mean uh...that’s not what I wanted to ask. What I wanted to say was-”
I felt her sweet caress of her lips then, unexpected and powerful enough to shatter my frazzled thoughts. Her lips were utterly amazing. They brought up residual memories of how they felt the first time we kissed. I cherished every moment they shared with mine even if it only lasted a few seconds. She pulled away all too quickly, her eyes wide with fear. “I-I...i’m sorry.” She whispered.
I sat up quickly, fumbling over my own apology. “Nonono! I-I swear I didn’t mean to ask that! It just- my brain just slipped and-”
“It was on your mind though…”
I swallowed at that nugget of truth. “Y-yes. I’m so sorry.”
She set her hand on mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her voice was so soft that I could barely hear it. “It’s ok. I was thinking about it too.”
Want It With You-E’dawn
Trust. You would think it was such a simple word but it bared more meaning for me than anything else in life. I didn't trust just anyone though I seemed to be surrounded by people I loved and adored. It took years to get to that point with them. There were hoops and barrels that they had to jump through to prove themselves worthy. It wasn't some grand scheme of knighthood- rather simple things that showed they would always be there for me.
Which was why I was so stuck and dumbfounded by my feelings for her. We hadn't known each other for long. Definitely not long enough for me to trust her but i did with every fiber of my being. I didn't know if it had been from the first night we met or right here at this very moment but at some point my heart caved in. Her smile chipped at the bricks of my wall of trust, her body tore chunks out of the barrier, and our connection musically made the wall give way. Behind that trust was love, an even more guarded feeling that rarely anyone got to experience. But the buds of soft touches, gentle kisses, and late night talks bloomed into the purest emotion I ever had.
The problem was that there was already two other people that had my heart. My girlfriend, Hyuna, who remained a secret to everyone I knew, and my best friend Hui who I felt like i could possibly never confess to. I didn't know how to exactly explain it but each of them provided me with something i needed and wanted. Hyuna gave me the care I never experienced from anyone- the tender love, affection, and understanding of my weirdness that she could keep up with. Hui on the other hand gave me a new type of love. Something that was exciting and refreshing yet filled with curiosity and the thrill of danger. And she, she gave me freedom. Freedom to explore, to live, to experience things i had never done before and open my eyes to wonders unseen.
My brain and heart were at war with one another. My brain told myself that it was impossible to be with three people no matter how desperately i wanted it to work. My heart, of course, screamed that I could do anything. No one could judge us or tell us otherwise. I wished that were true, i really did. There were nights when I couldn't sleep that i lay awake and thought about what my life had turned into. Being in the states changed my perception on love and relationships in general but going back home none of those things would be accepted. I didn't want to hide forever- i already had to do that with Hyuna. Her career was on the line and I would never compromise that for her. With out her here though it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay monogamous, which is how that night after the party happened.
I told Hyuna right away that i slept with someone else. I was a crying mess. I thought she'd never forgive me and i would truly be alone. I confessed how much i missed her and that i just wanted to feel something- a touch, a kiss, anything. It was hard. One of the very hardest things I'd ever had to do and when she forgave me and told me it was alright I knew i had chosen the right one. We laughed about it after and she told me never to worry. She knew my heart was with her because she could feel it even with all the miles that separated us. She let me sleep with whoever I wanted as long as I came back to her, which i would always do.
But when i met my new object of affection at the top of spring semester it was like my world got flipped upside down. How could I tell Hyuna that I was in love with someone else, let alone confess to the person that I had been with almost the entire time this semester? Love and trust weren't the only things weighing on my mind. Part of that trust was asking for further exploration of my sexuality. I was all wrapped up in my feelings and this just added another layer.
Lately, i had been curious about kinky things. It wasn't just the beginner things either. It was the darker things, the dirtier things, the things that made your skin crawl with lust filled excitement. I wanted to share that with her but bringing it up had my heart racing.
I laid next to her, my feet towards the end of the bed while hers were towards the headboard. Our heads met in the middle and we stared at the ceiling relaxing in our sexual afterglow. I puffed silently at my e-cig, closing my eyes and pondered over how to even begin to ask what was weighing on my mind. She yawned beside me and i nudged my temple gently against hers.
“You whimping out on me already?” I teased.
“Um, excuse me. You wore me out! You try being on your hands and knees for an hour then practically bent in half. It takes a lot out of you.”
I chuckled. “Yeah well, it was good wasn’t it?”
She nodded and softly hummed a response, turning her head into my neck. We stood quiet for a moment while i continued to mull over how I should ask her. From what she told me about her experiences with Kino and Hui-hyung there was nothing that even came close to what I currently wanted. We were both inexperienced but I was sure that we could learn and be patient with one another. She could reject the idea all together, which would sting a bit but I would accept it. I couldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to. I hoped she would at least try and not run away completely.
“Hey,” I began, clearing my throat a little. She turned towards me with such an adorable sleepy look. It made me smile as I pushed her sweaty hair away from her forehead. “I want to ask you something but...don’t freak out okay?”
Her eyes went wide and fear washed over her face. She swallowed hard. “O-oh...what is it?”
“So...ok. Um…” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know if this is going to sound stupid but have you ever heard of...bdsm? Like the kinky stuff?”
“Oh?” She raised her eyebrows now faced with curiosity. “You mean like getting tied up?”
“Yeah. I mean, there’s more to it but that’s like a good place to start.”
“Why are you bringing it up all of a sudden?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for awhile.” I sighed, returning my gaze back to the ceiling as I felt warmth creep into my cheeks and ears. “Kinda researching a bit. Since we’re- I mean we’re not together, together- but we hook up a lot and stuff. And we’re friends so I thought maybe I could ask and…” I was stumbling over my words, regressing into a bumbling idiot. I wish i could convey what was on my mind as clearly as I wanted to. I took a deep breath, trying to recollect myself and start over. “Basically, I trust you. I trust you a lot and I wouldn’t ask anyone else to do this with me. It was important that I tried it with you. When we...fuck it’s on a whole other level. I feel kind of like...at peace. Like I don’t have to worry about anything or feed into my insecurities.”
“O-oh…” she said quietly. I wasn't sure what to make of that and it made my entire body tense. “I trust you too Hyojong. You've never done anything to betray my trust. But this is so sudden.”
“I know, i'm sorry. I just didn't know how else to bring it up or what would be a good time to even bring it up. Like how do you start a conversation about wanting to try bdsm? Like hey, babe, wanna tie me up and choke me?”
She laughed, part nervous and part humorous. “I guess you're right. It's not something to schedule a talk around. But why do you feel insecure?” She sat up a bit, just scooting close enough to lay her head on my stomach and set her hand over my heart. I laid my fingers over hers and moved my other hand to rest behind my head.
“I...i don’t know. I mean who ever really knows why they’re insecure they just know they have insecurities.”
“You know what I mean but what things are you specifically insecure about?”
“A lot of things. The way I look, the way I have sex, the way I talk. It all makes me nervous but you’ve never really judged me…”
“Of course not! I would never. There’s no reason for me too.” She said as she turned her hand over to give mine a squeeze. “You’ve been there for me since day one and I like everything about you. You’re so weird, cute, funny, and caring. Your random screeches and crazy running makes me laugh all the time. I just feel...” She shrugged and smiled at me. I wondered if she could tell how fast my heart was beating now. When I was the source of her smile it made my entire body turn to jello. It made me feel like a goopey mess of feelings that i loved. Love was one of my favorite things in the world. The rush of being with someone so perfect for you and holding them in your arms as much as you could was the source of my happiness. Being so far away from my girlfriend always put me in a funk. But having this new found love in the states filled that void and blossomed into something I looked forward to every time we met. The more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be with her. My heart was getting restless but asking her out was something that made me panic even more than asking her to tie me up. “I feel good when i'm around you. You're a great friend.”
Friend. I screamed internally. Yes, just friends. It stung, that was easy to admit but as of right now I couldn't do anything to change that. I squeezed her hand again and swallowed the lump in my throat trying my best not to crumble into a puddle of pathetic tears. I sought to turn the subject back to where it started. “So, would you want to try it out with me? The kink stuff I mean…”
“Wellllll…..it doesn't seem so bad. It could be a lot of fun. I'm a little scared though. What if we're totally bad at it?”
“We can practice. Isn't that part of the fun?” I gave her a little wink to add to my flirtatious tone.
“You want to wear me out, don't you, Dawnie.” She giggled. “I guess we can start practicing. But i guess we might need some equipment first.” She sat up then, crossing her legs and letting her fingers drum against her chin. “I'm sure there are tons of websites to buy some.”
“My cart on some is already filled.” I admitted.
“Oh my god, you sneaky little slut. I shouldn't have expected any less from you.” She kissed me quickly. “Start ordering then. Then i can tie you up like a little present.”
“Tie me up? Aren't I supposed to tie you up?!” I asked.
“Who says? Just because you're the boy? Why don't we both try it. Maybe we'll both like it.”
She did have a point. We didn't have to conform to any standards. That wasn't really my gig anyway. Besides, thinking about her being in control gave me a little tingle of excitement. We were truly doing this and I couldn't be more happy. Even though she thought of me as a friend I hoped eventually she could see how much I wanted her, how much love I could give her. All i could do now was be patient but have a hell of a good time along the way.
All To You- Hui
“Ok, so what do you want to do for our project?” I asked her as we sat in our private piano room that was basically our sanctuary. After almost every class together we would come here, enjoying the peace and tranquility. The hecticness of our schedules were forgotten and we spent hours getting lost in the music. Time didn't exist when I was with her. My only focus was on her which was a-okay with my heart. We had a project due in a couple of weeks that needed to showcase both our talents. I wanted to do something on the piano, more so a ballad which was my speed and wasn’t too sure how to incorporate her rapping skills. Rapping could go with a ballad but the rhythm and flow would have to be just right. I was nervous as this was the first time we would ever be making music together. The way music was instilled in me sometimes made me overanalyze and become a perfectionist. I didn’t want to really take control of this...but also I did. I just had to figure out how to do it in the nicest way possible. I was picturing every scenario possible, even wondering what she would say in response even before she uttered a word in real time.
“Well, I know rapping isn’t your thing and I’m not the best at music production since I’m still learning so i hope that maybe you could take responsibility over that? Like how we could mix the song? Maybe incorporate the piano since it’s kind of our thing?” She smiled.
I almost sighed in relief. I was so happy we were on the same page. “Yes!” I said, almost too excitedly. “Sorry, I really wanted to make something like this with you.” I started pressing a few chords onto the keys, humming along to the melody in my head. “Do you have any idea what song you might want to do?”
“I was trying to think of some good duets we could do. I really wanted something modern and kind of soft.”
“There aren’t many duets with singing and rapping that I can think of.”
“Actually,” she said with a bit of a nervous tone in her voice. “Teach has been getting on me about actually singing in class since ya know, since it is about vocals. I know she said she doesn't grade on talent but she wants me to at least try and sing... in front of everyone.”
“Sing?” I tried to hide the shock in my voice and failed miserably. “I’ve heard you before and you know how I feel about your voice but I also know that it’s hard for you to do this.” She nodded and stared down at her lap, looking so ashamed. I set my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close so my temples touched hers. “You know I’ll be there beside you every step of the way, right?”
“I know…” Her voice was breaking. “I’m just so nervous that I’m gonna make a fool of myself. I feel like everyone’s gonna judge me. I don’t get stage fright when I rap but when I sing it’s like my throat just closes up and my heart shrivels into a dried husk and like...i just can’t breathe. My anxiety takes over and-and-” A small tear trailed down her cheek and i squeezed her to my chest. I couldn’t bare to see her like this. There wasn’t a way to magically cure her anxiety or relieve her from her stage fright though I desperately wished I could. I curled my fingers around hers holding onto her hand tightly.
“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. I don’t want you to end up like me. All I do is drive myself crazy with being a perfectionist. We’re going to work through this together. I promise I won’t let you fail.”
“I know, Hui. I know. I just have to believe in myself but that’s easier said than done. It’s always something I battled with. I’m glad you’ll be there with me.”
I smiled and tilted her head up gently. “Of course, angel.” I pressed my lips to hers, taking in their warmth and tenderness that always made my body react instantly. I poured every ounce of passion into our tongues colliding and bringing her small unsteady breaths to the surface. My hand fell to her waist, clutching it tightly and never wanting to let her go. I needed her to know how much this meant to me, how much she meant to me. She deserved it so much. Her hands anchored themselves in my hair and kept me as close as possible. Eventually, my chest tightened and my lungs ached for a break. It was almost funny how lost we could get in each other like this. I pulled away, chuckling as i finally took in a breath. “Sorry, i got carried away.”
“I like when you get carried away.” She smiled, flirtatiously. “Isn't that how we ended up fucking on the piano during our first lesson?”
“Ah,” I remembered that day all too well. The first moment her lips hit mine after I heard her sing. Nothing could ever compare to how my heart fluttered and my stomach tied in knots just hearing her sweet tone. Since that day I had silently begged that I would hear her voice again, instead of her keeping it trapped. “It was definitely better than learning chord progressions and tonality practice that's for sure.”
She giggled and dabbed away at the few remaining tears at the corner of her eyes. “You always know how to make me smile, Hwitaek.”
My name was always my favorite melody to hear on her tongue. The airiness to her voice made it sound so dreamlike and ethereal. I could feel my cheeks heating up just at those few syllables. “I'm glad I can but uh...you should stop distracting me so we can get to work!” I poked her side playfully and she swatted at my hand.
“Ok, ok! I'm sorry! Let me see what I have on my spotify playlist and maybe we can get some inspiration for our duet, yeah?”
I nodded at her suggestion and let her go to work while i fumbled on the piano, working through key changes and scales in hopes of jogging my brain. I had no idea why it seemed so difficult. It should have been a piece of cake figuring something for us to do, especially because even if it was just a school project it would be personal. Maybe that's why I was getting stuck in a rut. Too much pressure on myself to possibly slip a blinded confession to her through lyrics. There didn't seem to be any other way to tell her. I wasn't even sure if I should. There hadn't been any confirmation in the slightest that she felt anything towards me. After all, I had Hyojong and Hyunggu at my back, constantly tipping the scales in their favor. They were my very best friends and I should never be jealous of them but I was. Even after the fun we had with the foursome I realized that there was still an empty part of me that wasn't getting filled. It hurt to think that perhaps it would never be filled.
Continuing to hook up with her might be the biggest mistake of my life so far. I could sense that things might get worse. I wasn't exactly known to love subtly. I was a big hopeless romantic, comically extravagant, and a walking cliche of greeting card cheesiness. I couldn't help it. It went with my goofy personality and inability to like being so serious all the time. It was my little break away from throwing my entire soul into my music. I sighed and set my elbow on the edge of the piano, resting my chin in the palm of my hand while my fingers danced over the same three keys. Little slices of my favorite lyrics pieced together in my head as I imagined the picket white fence dreams I could have with her. I could stay here in America and live an entirely new life with her, an extra dose of happiness in my fantasy. I closed my eyes then, drifting off into that better place that was protected from thoughts of self doubt, hurt, and feelings of worthlessness and not being good enough for her. I rarely tried to give into those thoughts but there was always a devilish voice on my back whispering filthy lies about how I could never capture her attention and love like the other's could. I squeezed my eyes tighter as the voice started to ring a little louder and I was just beginning to get into a war with myself.
“I think I got it!”
I snapped back so suddenly that my body jolted upright. “Huh? What?”
“The song, i think i found the perfect song for us. I think I can manage hitting all the notes in this without messing it up too much and the male part is right up your alley.”
I raised a brow at her, curious at her selection. “Ok, lay it on me.”
“Do you like Lana Del Rey?”
My cheeks heated up with embarrassment. I did, but mostly when I was drunk off my ass and known to cry on the floor, belting out all her greatest hits. I laughed nervously at my shameful alcohol induced memories. “Y-yeah, she's great. I like her.”
“Want to do ‘Lust for Life’? You have a good voice for it.”
“Ah….actually that doesn't seem so bad. It wouldn't be so hard to work into a piano piece either. I think we could do it.” I smiled brightly at her, grateful to her ability to think more clearly than I could. She clapped her hands excitedly before looking over the lyrics on her voice. I edged myself closer so we could both look at the small screen. She was humming at first, mumbling a few words here and there until the notes rang in during the first verse. I set my hand on the small of her back, working my thumb in small swipes, to give her a comforting touch and encourage her more. She laughed a bit as she got to the pre-chorus, her eyes trailing up to meet mine.
“And I was like, take off, take off...take off all your clothes, take off, take off...take off all of your clothes…” she sang. She moved her fingers to pluck at the top button of my shirt, opening it.
I set my hand over the sliver of newly exposed skin and gasped. “So scandalous, Lana!”
She giggled. “Oh, and you don't want to fuck under the Hollywood sign while I wait for my sugar daddy to call me?”
“We'll I don't think we can fuck under the Hollywood sign but does under a piano work for you?”
“Oh yes, a whole two feet of space! You'd knock your head on it so fast!”
“Hey, i tried, ok? Besides, i can find a way to position you.”
“Lee Hwitaek! You perv!”
“You started it but I can definitely finish it.” I tackled her gently to the floor, making her cry out and laugh with me. We were always goofing off like a pair of idiots which were my absolute favorite times. I pulled her against me tight and kissed all over her neck and cheek. “You drive me crazy you know that?”
She pawed at my face. “Ah! Hey! Yeah, you definitely drive me crazy too.” She turned her head to catch one of my kisses on her lips. “It's a good kind of crazy though. She gave me another quick kiss then looked down at my watch. “Shit, i have to get going for dance practice with Kino. He's gonna kill me if I'm late.”
My happiness was cut a bit short and I held onto her tighter. “Just stay with me instead.” I whispered.
“Aww, Hui. You know I'd love to but we have a dance project and-”
“We have a project that we need to work on too. He can deal with it.”
“Noooo, i can't! I'll never hear the end of it. You know how Kino is.” She pushed me away and sat up. “We can meet up again this weekend or something. I think I’ll have some time on Saturday.” She stood up and gathered her things. “I promise I’ll give you all the time in the world ok?! See ya!”
I watched her leave our practice room, destroying the bubble of our safe haven to go hang out with my friend. I sighed as another pang of jealousy hit directly to the heart. I pulled my knees up and set my arms on them, wondering what to even make of myself. Just tell her Hui, I thought. Just tell her that you love her.
I’m a Ruin
I held my pillow close to my chest as tears flowed hot and heavy down my face. Everything that had happened with Hongseok replayed in my head as guilt riddled my stomach. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t rope him into any of this and I did just that. On top of it I revealed that I had slept with all of his friends and while there was a small sliver of me that was glad that it was all out in the open, every other part of me was screaming that it was all a mistake. I never wanted him to find out, if anything he could have been my escape from it all. Hongseok was a clean slate, after all. There wasn’t any drama attached to him and we had so much fun whenever we hung out. But he also didn’t have the history that I had with Kino, Hui, or Hyo.
Those three were a whole other battle in of itself. Kino and I’s relationship was basically shattered and nonexistent. I knew Hui was ready to take the next step but with everyone else on my mind I had no idea if I would be able to give him my all without hurting him in the process. Hyojong was one of my closest friends. We knew so much about one another and though I wasn’t really too sure about opening my heart to multiple people (which let’s face it, at this damn point I might as well to save myself a headache), but Hyuna was so welcoming. Together they were like the perfect ray of warmth and sunshine that it almost felt as if I had nowhere to fit in. My head was swimming so much with thought after thought that i almost felt dizzy. I needed to somehow get some sleep and maybe try and set them aside for at least one night. They were just consuming me to the point where it was suffocating. I just wanted to be happy again. I wanted to survive college and graduate and be a star where I could share my talents with the world and live free. I know I had dug this hole for myself but running away seemed like the best thing to do right now.
I was ready to recline into my bed and give up entirely when I heard harsh raps on my door. I jumped up quickly wondering who the hell that could be. It was already late and my roommate wasn’t home. I sighed and thought that maybe she may have forgotten her keycard. It was unlikely but stranger things have happened. I wiped my face as much as I could, trying to gather myself before I opened the door. I sniffed deeply and pulled the door open, wincing as the bright light of the hallway poured into my dark room. My heart fell into my stomach as I saw the disheveled, pajama’d and panting messes that were before me.
“W-what...what’s going on?” I stammered while i was internally begging for this to not happen at this moment.
“We need to talk.” Kino stated flatly, he was the first to push past me and go into my room. Hyojong flicked on the light in my room and squeezed past me as well. I sighed, absolutely defeated and let the others in before making my way over to sit on my bed once more. They circled me then, like lovesick vultures corning me into a decision I was no where near ready to make. I knew what they were going to say before any words were even uttered.
“We just...we we’re talking...” Hui started.
“I needed to know about everything that happened. It was even worse then the minimal lies you told me.” Hongseok spat.
“Don’t you even dare, Hongseok. I never lied to you. I didn’t want you to know about everything because you had no business knowing about it all.” I interjected.
“I had no business knowing about what you were doing with my friends?”
“No, you didn’t. You know why? Because what I do with anyone is no ones business, even if you are friends. I gave myself to each and every one of you and I’ve said it over and over, my intent was never to break up your brotherhood or turn you on one another. I fucked up and I know that. But if I wanted to fuck Kino i did. If i wanted to fuck Hui i did. If I wanted to fuck Hyojong I did. Hell, if I wanted to fuck them all at once I did that too! I’m not going to be guilted into having urges just like you all. I love you guys, most importantly as friends. Every last one of you. It’s who I’m in love with that hurts the most.”
“Who are you in love with then?” Hyojong asked.
“Everyone.”
“You can’t be in love with everyone. That isn’t possible nor is it fair!” Kino snapped.
“It is possible. It’s always possible to love more than one person but...how we’re all thinking-even me- is that we want her to ourselves. We don’t want to share. We want to have that one on one connection.” Hyojong continued. “It just seems further and further from reality than we expected.”
“You need to chose someone. Please, love, just for the sake of my sanity.” Hui pleaded.
“Your sanity? What about my sanity?! Don’t you think I’ve been driving myself fucking insane thinking about who I would want to be with? I’ve been trying to piece together what I even want for weeks, months, semesters! I don’t know how to even begin to choose!”
“Well you better fuckin’ decide. We’re tired of being dragged along by you.” Kino said.
I whipped around to face him. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ talk to me. Why would I even pick you!? You hurt my feelings. You betrayed my trust! You slept with my best friend and just when I thought that we were on the mends you threw me out in the cold again.”
“I love you! More than anything! I’ve always loved you! I’ve just been...I’ve been too fucking afraid to admit, ok?”
“Yeah?” I swallowed hard, trying to shove my tears down my throat instead of having them burst forth once again. I was so tired of crying. “Well, it’s a little bit too late for that isn’t it Kino?”
“Look, I can’t speak for anyone’s actions but my own but...we do...we want some kind of closure. I know this is hard given your relationships with us- even with Kino. Someone is bound to get hurt by this, even I’ve prepared myself for that, but anything is better than no answer at all.” Hui set his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me gently. His face held nothing but sorrow and his brown eyes were dripping in sadness. If my heart wasn’t already shattered it definitely was now. Completely minuscule pieces that didn’t even resemble a heart anymore.
I pulled away from him as I could feel my body trembling. Their eyes were on me once more and fear made my blood run cold. They weren’t going to stop until they got a response. I looked at Kino, seeing the regret on his face and want to repair the broken relationship between us- something I never thought I would’ve ever witnessed. A simple apology weeks ago would’ve solved all this between us and yet I never felt more distant from him than at this very moment, even though there was a thin thread tethering me to him still. Hyojong stayed ever the patient one though he had underlying panic in his stiff frame. He couldn’t fully look at me but I could tell his mind was racing a mile a minute. I wish I could let him know fully that he still had a hold on me, Hyuna aside, I wanted him and his unconditional love. Hui was the one with the most hurt on his face, as if was about to cry just as much as I was. I didn’t want to hurt him. I couldn’t bear it. He meant so much to me-the absolute world to me. Then there was Hongseok, who’s eyes, even if he was mad at me at this very moment, reflected every happy moment I had with him. The way I felt in his arms never ceased to amaze me. His warmth, his gentle kiss, and sweet demeanor was everything I had ever wanted in someone. I wanted to waste hours and days laughing with him, playing video games, binge watching movies, and getting lost in that perfect smile.
I was back at square one, as if I had never left and frozen in my skin.
“Well?” Kino said.
“Who do you choose?” Hongseok asked.
“Please...” Hui begged.
“I just want you to be happy.” Hyojong whispered.
I covered my face and let the tears flow. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I was lost, stuck, and ready to move forward all at once. All I had to do was take the plunge. “I....I choose... I choose H-”
#pentagon fanfic#pentagon fanfiction#pentagon#hui smut#kino smut#edawn smut#hongseok smut#hongseok#hui#edawn#kino#hyunggu#edawn fanfic#edawn fanfiction#hui fanfic#hui fanfiction#hongseok fanfic#hongseok fanfiction#kino fanfic#kino fanfiction#kino pentagon#hui pentagon#hongseok pentagon
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Vanilla (Chapter 3) - Honey Blue
AN: Guess who go really sick and busy so ended up postponing uploading this for ages? It was me! I have been uploading chapters a bit quicker on AO3 though and will probably have Chapter 4 up on both here and there within the next few days. Tell me what you think about it and what you think is going to happen because feedback is my lifeblood xx
AO3 Link Chapter 1 Chapter 2
The pain in Katya’s neck registers before anything else. It’s like her body is white noise which slowly comes into focus. Her body hurts, her mind hurts, her eye hurts.
She doesn’t expect it to be daytime. Creaking her eyes open, she is blinded for a second. A heartbeat resounds in her ears. “Good morning?” Trixie says.
It takes Katya a few seconds to remember why she’s here. The panic settles back into her, another layer on top of the physical ache. The bags under Trixie’s eyes look like bruises.
Scowling, Katya asks “how long have you been driving?”
A pause, “about twelve hours?”
“Trixie!”
After flinching, Trixie looks over at her. Her features soften, she looks at the road. “I just, I couldn’t wake you?”
There’s a beat of silence.
“You could have,” Katya responds. She smirks, “it’s just easier for me to be unconscious when you take me back to your alien leaders.”
With an eye roll, Trixie chuckles. “You’re so fucking stupid.”
Katya stretches to the best of her ability in the confined space. Her black clicks, and she exhales in the pleasure of it. The ache is still in her body, her eye is radiating pain.
“I know I am-”
“You’re not actually-”
“But at least I didn’t spend twelve hours driving. You could have killed us,” Katya finishes. Trixie grits her teeth, Katya doesn’t notice. “Pull over, let me drive.”
“I won’t sleep. There’s no point-”
Katya glares at Trixie, “Trix, pull over.”
With a sigh, she does as ordered.
_________________
Trixie doesn’t fall asleep like Katya did. Her eyes remain open, looking at the suburbs. Katya focuses in and out of their surroundings. It’s just her and the road. However, this is hard. It’s hard to stay awake, focus. How did Trixie manage this for twelve hours all by herself? Katya feels like she’s a loud noise away from a heart attack, and she’s had more sleep than Trixie did.
Swallowing, Katya asks “honest: How long have you been awake?”
Trixie considers it. She runs her mind through the last few hours of her life. Her blood runs cold.
“About a day?”
Katya nods. “Listen, do you want to find like, a motel? Would that help?”
Trixie leaves the answer hanging for a second. Then, Katya’s stomach grumbles. A frown.
“Nevermind me. Honest: When did you eat last?”
Katya shrugs, “I don’t matter. Can you sleep?”
Trixie groans, “Katya! I need you to do the honest thing. When, did you fucking eat last? Fucking hell.”
A sick feeling climbs up Katya’s body and threatens to spill. She wants to bite her nails. She wants to scream. “Don’t shout,” Katya whispers. “Honest: Don’t you fucking realize I’ve been telling lies for months now Trixie? I’m not doing it to hurt anyone. The opposite. Don’t pretend that I’m okay, I’m more mentally unstable than ever and that should be fucking impossible. Stop expecting regular shit from me. Give up.”
The words feel like a punch to Trixie’s stomach. There’s so much silence. They are tiptoeing around so many things. Trixie can’t do this for much longer. It’s an inch away from collapse.
“I am so sorry Katya,” Trixie says. The words feel like a ventilation.
“You only raised your voice,” Katya tries to brush it off. She smiles at her friend. Trixie gets a generous view of Katya’s bruised eye.
Grasping onto her leg, Trixie can feel her own nails digging into her body.
“You know that isn’t all I’m sorry for,” Trixie adds.
Katya heart stops. She has flashbacks. The first time she saw Trixie. The first time she drank. The first time she made love to her ex. The first time she made him laugh. His blood. His bruises. The first time he called her his bitch. Katya’s life has been poisonous for a long time.
Sighing, Katya says “listen. Don’t be. I’ll be honest now. We- It’s- You don’t need to feel-”
Trixie sits up straighter, “guilty? It’s normal that I feel this. I- I did something awful Katya. He’s dead-”
“I did too,” Katya breathes. With a head shake, Katya asks “now, motel or not?”
Scandalized, Trixie’s eyes widen. “What did you do? What did you do that was so fucking bad that I shouldn’t feel bad for murder?”
Katya looks at Trixie for longer than she should. There are tears in Trixie’s eyes again. Her makeup is looking old. Katya’s must be gone. They need to rest and recuperate. Plan their next step.
“I’m going into the next motel I find,” Katya responds.
There is a heartbreaking gap.
“Answer some of my questions. Katya, please,” Trixie begs. She bites her lip. Digs her fingers even further into her own flesh. “I can’t stand this.”
Gripping onto the steering wheel, Katya sighs. She inhales deeply, “Look. Honest: I don’t think I’ve eaten for about a day. Is that something?”
Katya tries to offer Trixie a smile, but her muscles don’t listen. Instead, Trixie ends up looking into Katya’s eyes. It’s not enough. It won’t do. Trixie can’t not feel awful. There’s too much going on to feel blank.
“It’ll do,” Trixie concedes.
_________________
Katya finds a motel. Trixie still hasn’t slept. They sit in silence.
Katya pulls into the motel. It’s late afternoon at this point. “You’re going to have to go and ask for a room,” Katya says as she parks.
“Why?”
“Black eye.”
“Oh,” Trixie whispers, swallowing as she gets out of the car. “How much does that hurt? Do we need to get you anything for it?” Trixie’s words rush out.
Raising an eyebrow, Katya says, “Take my purse. It’s got the money in. We only need one night.”
With a nod, Trixie lets her change the subject, “Fake names right?”
Katya smiles, “Now you’re getting it.”
Trixie shuts the door carefully, trying to avoid making a loud noise.
_________________
Trixie spots Katya sitting on the hood of the car.
“Everything go okay?”
“I put us down as sisters,” Trixie shows Katya their keys. “One night. $50 dollars for a room with two queens.”
Katya’s aching for a cigarette. She smirks, “Scissor sisters?” Trixie rolls her eyes. Standing up, Katya feels a little faint. She promptly ignores the sensation. “Can we go to it?”
Trixie nods, and goes to retrieve their stuff.
_________________
Trixie’s laying on her bed. It’s the one furthest away from the window. That reassures her at least. The edges of her vision keep turning dark. She can’t sleep. She can’t. She’s too scared.
Dabbing on concealer in the mirror, Katye is wavering slightly on her feet. Occasionally, she winces. Trixie isn’t sure if that’s because of the pain, or the sight of herself. She turns to Trixie, “Does this cover it?”
It doesn’t. At least, it doesn’t do it as well as Trixie could.
“It’s fine.”
Nodding to herself in the mirror, Katya puts the lid on the concealer with a pop. She looks at herself in the mirror. There’s an obvious blotchiness. Her cheekbones are more defined than they ever used to be. Her hair isn’t brushed. The puffiness of her right eye is apparent. She sees more of her own ugliness than she ever saw before. God, how did he even love her in the first place?
“I’m going to go get some food for you,” Katya says.
Scanning her own reflection, she feels where his hands hit her. Touched her. She feels dirty, filthy and disgusting. She is dirty, filthy and disgusting.
Trixie watches her. Katya’s not looked away from herself yet.
“Are you okay Kat?” Trixie whispers.
Katya turns to look at her best friend. Trixie’s always been everything she couldn’t be. She’s curvy, she’s not got ribs poking through her skin; Katya misses looking healthy. Her skin is scarred or bruised. Trixie smiles sometimes, and Katya feels like everything she’s ever done has been okay.
But a smile can’t make this okay.
“Honest? No,” the truth sneaks out of Katya.
Trixie stands and walks to her. She flinches when Trixie hugs her. Katya clings to Trixie for her life. Refusing to let go. Katya digs her face into Trixie’s shoulder. She’s comfortable. This is warm. She’s safe.
God. When was the last time she was safe?
Katya doesn’t remember feeling warm in a long time either. When Katya begins to cry, and she isn’t sure when it is, Trixie holds her closer. She rubs circles into Katya’s back. She whispers nonsense comfort to her.
“I-I-I haven’t cried in-” Katya murmurs.
“Hey, if there’s a time to cry it’s probably now.” Trixie points out. Katya lets out a small laugh. The tears aren’t flowing as much, Katya’s left empty. She carries on holding on to Trixie.
“I’m sorry,” Katya whispers.
Trixie snorts, “It’s fine.”
Katya smiles against Trixie’s neck, “you know that isn’t all I’m sorry for.”
Trixie’s eyes widen as Katya pulls away. Breathless, she responds “It’s not your fault that he-”
“Can you do my makeup for me again? I’ve cried it off,” Katya interrupts. Her eyes are red, her face is red. Trixie feels red.
Swallowing away the bad feelings, Trixie demands“yes, but you have to let me come with you.”
“You haven’t slept in a day,” Katya argues.
Trixie stares into Katya’s determined eyes. Her best friend’s jaw is set. A small explosion of anger erupts into Trixie. She goes for the jugular.
“We’re going together, or I’m phoning the police and turning myself in,” Trixie states.
Katya chokes, “you wouldn’t.”
They stare each other off. Katya’s heart beats hard in her chest again. Trixie’s mind finally slows down.
“Try me.”
“No. Promise you won’t do that. Don’t do that to me, I need you,” Katya says. Her voice shakes. Trixie’s eyebrows raise.
“I won’t.”
Katya visibly relaxes. She reaches out to hug Trixie again, who pulls her in. It’s Trixie’s turn to bury her face into Katya’s shoulder. She inhales the way Katya smells, which currently isn’t that good but it’s okay. It’s what it needs to be.
“We need to shower before we go,” Trixie points out. They pull away. Katya smiles up at her friend.
“Together?”
Trixie snorts into a laugh, “fuck off.”
_________________
Katya watches the news when Trixie showers after her. The elegant woman who speaks directly to the camera says, “now we’ll go to our reporter Raven for more details.”
“Thank you Raja. Now, a death is being treated under suspicious circumstances after the body was found in an apartment building in Brooklyn. The body belonged to a man, who is currently unnamed. The NYPD have released no suspects-”
Her skin crawls. Her bruises ache. Her eye aches. There’s a pang deep inside her chest. Guilt? Relief? She remembers how she’d slept next to him just a few nights before. He’d grabbed at her. She’d wanted it. The good moments were so good. She’d craved them like she craved anything that made her feel better.
Why didn’t she leave? Why the fuck didn’t she leave?
Katya doesn’t listen. She watches. They talk on and on around the subject. Katya’s name isn’t said, neither is Trixie’s.
“Back to Raja for our next story.”
“Thank you, Raven. Our next story tonight, a-”
The shower switches off. The bathroom door opens. Trixie steps out, wrapped in just a towel.
Katya’s mouth goes dry. She turns off the TV.
“I forgot my clothes,” Trixie points to her bed. She moves to her bed.
Katya tries not to look at her legs. The towel is gloriously short and cuts off at her mid-thigh. Katya always liked the way Trixie looks without makeup on, almost younger. Trixie didn’t take her mascara off properly before showering, leaving her with almost a smokey eye. Swallowing, Katya tries to ignore it. She tries. She’s just desperate for affection. She’s not received a lot recently. This is some weird want for approval, not actual lust. It’s easy to dismiss when she thinks about it like that.
“They just put him on the news,” Katya says.
Trixie freezes, “and?”
“They didn’t put us on or anything. We just-We have to be more careful.”
Katya curses herself when Trixie sits on the end of her bed, still naked. The mission of being clothed has been suspended.
“What’s our next move then?” Trixie asks.
“I think -Well- They’re going to link me to it,” Katya declares. It makes sense. The entire building must have heard that fight. Katya isn’t worried about herself however. “If we’re lucky, they won’t link you to this for a while. That gives us time to use your car, but, I think over the next few days, maybe tomorrow? We should try and see if we can get ahold of a new one.”
“Steal a car?” Trixie breathes. Katya bites her nails, she nods. “Fuck.”
Katya shrugs, “we’ve got to do what we’ve got to do. We might be able to buy one? If we get really lucky?”
Trixie nods. “Hopefully,” Trixie puts a hand over her mouth and exhales. “This is such a mess.”
Grimacing, Katya responds “I know. But we’ve got to keep going. I’m not-” Katya grimaces. She chews her fingernails.
Trixie looks to her for the ending of the sentence, “not what? Going to jail? It’ll be me that goes. You’re just fucking assisting a runaway. You’ve done nothing wrong-”
“Losing you,” Katya admits. "I’m not losing you. Not you. No.”
Trixie’s eyes widen. Her mouth falling open.
The ground seems a lot more appealing to Katya, so she looks at that. Fuck, her eye hurts.
“Katya, you’re my ride or die. You’re never going to lose-”
“-Anyway, food?” Katya interrupts. She looks at Trixie, eyes watering.
Swallowing back the words, Trixie responds, “Sure, let’s go.” Katya raises an eyebrow at her. “You’re naked, Trix,” Katya points out. Trixie looks down at herself.
“Oh yeah,” she looks back at Katya, with wide eyes. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“I wasn’t exactly complaining,” Katya responds. With a laugh, Trixie grabs her clothes and goes back into the bathroom.
Katya tries to not watch her ass as she walks. It’s safe to say she doesn’t manage it.
_________________
“Get everything?” Katya asks. Trixie throws the bag of assorted snacks onto the space below her feet in the car. Katya ended up not going in, deciding against the makeup. The world spins a little bit as Katya sits. She can focus to drive. She’s driven in a worse state than this.
“I got you some skittles,” Trixie mentions.
Katya grins as she snatches the pack, “you have earned my affections.” She turns the key and starts the drive back to the motel. Each skittle makes her want more, and the sugar starts to clear her foggy mind.
She feels just a little better in her skin. Just a little.
_________________
Trixie is asleep. She passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Trixie brought a fucking nightgown with her. Typical. Katya’s going to have to sleep in a shirt and underwear tonight, which is more her style anyway.
With nothing to distract her, Katya is left with no choice but to think.
She plans for a little while. They’ll drive in the opposite direction to Miami tomorrow, set them off the trail. They’ll find a new car in that direction. If they can find some shady car salesman who doesn’t want ID, then Katya will keep her promise. If not, they’ll go to a gas station and wait for some stupid person to leave their car unlocked. However, that does risk them being caught on camera.
They’ll dye their hair, Katya decides. That should help them. They’ll do it after the car though. Besides, Katya’s always thought she’d look good with black hair. Trixie won’t go for that though. Her hair is dyed blonde anyway, Katya knows she despises her natural brown hair.
She hopes they do find a person who doesn’t want ID. Katya’s going to have to find out where they can get a fake set. It should be easier once they reach a city. She can’t imagine Miami is the purest city in the nation.
Katya turns onto her side. Looking at Trixie, she can see the small rise and fall of her chest.
Katya used to watch him when he slept, back in the early days. He looked handsome in the dark, usually naked. Katya could stare at him for hours and be proud that she was usually what made him this sedated. She loved him. He was hers, she was his. Does she still love him? Does that matter anymore? The feelings make her cold. Remembering what they used to have, that’s never a good move. He got stressed. He got possessive. Katya wanted him to be happy. She stayed. She probably shouldn’t have stayed.
It’s Katya’s fault he’s dead. If she’d left, Trixie would have never have tried to save her.
Well, he might have killed Trixie. She would have never forgiven herself if Trixie had died because of her. Can she forgive herself because he died? Trixie killed him to save herself, to save Katya in the process. He wasn’t a nice man. But he loved her. She never was the best version of herself. She never made loving her very easy for him. He could have done better than her. Katya’s worthless. He would still be alive if she had been better, and she didn’t even do that. Trixie would still have a life if Katya had been better. She’s ruined everything for everyone she ever loved.
The thought runs through her brain until her eyes shut and she sleeps.
#honey blue#vanilla#katya zamolodchikova#trixie mattel#angst#fluff#raven and raja have cameos#which they honestly should in everything ever#tw past abuse#tw past addiction#tw murder#rpdr fanfiction#submission
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VF Luca Chapter 4: Where the Heart has Gone
Once again, she sees a dream of her youth. Fragments of Luca that he doesn’t want to lose…
~*Flashback: Forest*~
Felicita: *running*
Luca: Ojou-sama! Didn’t I just tell you not to climb trees while you are dressed like that!
Luca: I can return the bird to its nest so…ah, watch out!!
(*falls)
Luca: Are you alright?
Luca: Oh, you grazed your elbow a little
Luca: I’m sorry, it’s because I couldn’t catch you fast enough
Luca: But, you should still be more careful, Ojou-sama
Luca: It’s good to want to return a bird to its nest. And I know you are agile
Luca: I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it yourself, but please tell me so you can get changed into the proper clothes, okay?
Felicita: !
Luca: Huh…? Oh, don’t worry about my hat
Luca: I can easily fix my hat if it gets crushed, but that’s not the case if you get hurt, Ojou-sama
~*Flashback: Luca’s Old Room*~
Luca: A present for me…but why? It’s not my birthday yet?
Felicita: *smile*
Luca: A hat…! I said not to worry about it though
Luca: But I’m still happy. I’ll take good care of it
Luca: I know! Please allow me to make you and Fukurota some new ribbons as thanks
~*End Flashback*~
~*Scene: VF Cabin Deck 3*~
Luca: Good morning, Ojou-sama
❤≪Luca≫ Seems as usual
Daily: It looks like she woke up refreshed
Place: I haven’t forgotten our situation
Link: Something seems to be missing
Luca: I’d like to eat something besides apples soon, but they’ll do for now
Felicita: !
Luca: What is it?
>I dreamed about you, Luca
(+30 Amore)
>Luca, your hat…
(+15 Amore)
>You never change, Luca
(No Amore)
Luca: You dreamed of me again? Ojou-sama, you really…
Felicita: …
Luca: Nevermind, what kind of dream was it?
Luca: Yes, Ash did run off with it
Luca: Retrieving the Tarocco is our current priority, but I thought we could go look for it afterwards…
Felicita: *mad*
Luca: Even though I said I’d take care of it…?
Luca: …Did I say that…Yes. I did say that
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
Luca: What’s this all of a sudden, Ojou-sama?
Luca: Did you have a scary dream?
Felicita: No
Luca: It was of how happy I was…to receive my hat?
Luca: …I’m sorry, I can’t remember exactly when that was…
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Pleasure: She dreamed of me again…
Daily: Actually, I dreamed of Ojou-sama too
Link: Something seems to be missing
Link: It was a present from Ojou-sama after all
Place: But we will get it back
Link: What’s missing are…my memories…
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Link: What’s missing are…my memories…
>About when I crushed your hat
>About when I gave you your hat
Luca: That did happen, didn’t it
Luca: Um, which hat was it? I believe that happened quite a few times
Felicita: Yeah
Luca: The time when you gave me a new hat as an apology…
Luca: Just like yesterday, it feels a bit vague
Luca: My hat…oh right, you did give it to me
Luca: I’m sorry, I do remember receiving it but…
Luca: Just like yesterday, it feels a bit vague
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Link: What’s missing are…my memories…
Link: What’s missing are…my memories…
Luca: My hat…
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Daily: The “heart” I gave “Gli Amanti”
Place: The hat that Ash ran off with
Link: I remember receiving it
>Will they come back if I hit you over the head?
(-10 Amore)
>Do you have a guess as to why?
(No Amore)
Luca: I don’t have amnesia, Ojou-sama
Luca: I really think my guess from yesterday was correct
Luca: Yes. I’m sure now that it is exactly what I thought yesterday
Luca: Will you hear me out?
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Daily: Seriously…no, that’s exactly what Ojou-sama would say
Place: I’m sorry, Ojou-sama
Link: But I still…
Daily: I’m sorry, Ojou-sama
Place: But I still…
Luca: Felicita, I love you dearly
❤≪Luca≫ Ojou-sama
Daily: I’m always thinking about Ojou-sama
Place: The things I was certain of are disappearing
Link: And…I’ve lost things I wasn’t certain of too
>Why are you saying that all of a sudden!
>W-wasn’t this a serious conversation?
Luca: It’s not sudden. It’s how I always feel
Luca: You can tell right away if you use your powers
Luca: Yes. I’m being serious
Luca: I don’t mind if you look into my heart
Felicita: …
❤≪Luca≫ Ojou-sama ❤≪Luca≫ Ojou-sama
Daily: My heart is always full of Ojou-sama
Daily: I am thinking about my relationship with Ojou-sama seriously
Luca: Right before the “Arcana Duello”, you used the “Wheel of Fortune” in order to save Papa
Luca: But…you couldn’t control the power and it went out of control
(*sag) Luca: I used my powers to neutralize yours, but I also made a vow to “Gli Amanti”
Luca: That I would give my heart to make up for whatever was lacking
Luca: I couldn’t stand to see you lose your memories…so I made a wish that I know was selfish
Luca: Between a piece of my heart or your memories, I would choose to lose a piece of my heart
Luca: No matter what exactly it was I would lose, I wouldn’t regret it
Luca: Because there’s no way I would
Luca: …I had no evidence to prove it, so I didn’t tell you yesterday
❤≪Luca≫ Ojou-sama
Daily: But you might have caught on to what I was thinking
Luca: But, I’m sure of it after hearing what you said today
Luca: The reason my memories of you became vague, is because that was the part of my love that I gave “Gli Amanti
❤≪Luca≫ Ojou-sama
Love: I love you
Felicita: !
Luca: The dream you told me about yesterday wasn’t when I fell in love with you, but it was an important moment when I was able to face you
Luca: Your dream today…harbors feelings for you that…aren’t so different from how I feel now
Luca: Both are memories that suit what “Gli Amanti” would take as compensation
Luca: It’s alright. I knew that this might happen at the time
❤≪Luca≫ Ojou-sama
Love: And now, I’ve put it into words
Luca: I’m satisfied just from hearing you tell me about it just now
Luca: Because when I hear you talk about what I did, it really feels like something typical coming from me
Luca: I can understand how much you’ve stolen my heart like this
Luca: So, if the time comes when you must use the “Wheel of Fortune” again…
Luca: And you don’t have the strength to wield that power
Luca: Please allow me to give “Gli Amanti” my heart
>I won’t!
(+30 Amore)
>That’s not fair, Luca…
(+20 Amore)
>I won’t use its power
(No Amore)
Luca: Felicita
~*Flashback*~
Jolly: You need to train your emotional strength if you want to strengthen your Arcana powers
Jolly: You tried to train your emotional strength so that you wouldn’t use your powers unconsciously…
Gli Amanti: I shall cancel out the price demanded by “Wheel of Fortune” with my power
Gli Amanti: In order for me to do that, I need strong emotions from the bonds between people
Luca: Not…fair?
Luca: *laugh*…so that means you also don’t want to lose your memories
Luca: If we feel the same then…
Luca: Work on keeping control of your powers
Felicita: …
Luca: Felicita, I know that you can do it
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
Luca: There are too many unknown factors to say that for certain. Nobody can predict the future
Luca: You are a kind person, so I know you’ll want to use it if the people close to you are in danger
Luca: When that time comes, you won’t be able to abide by your words
Luca: So instead of deciding not to use it, you should work towards being able to use it properly
Felicita: …
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
❤≪Luca≫ Seems shocked ❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Daily: She won’t allow me to lose them?
Pleasure: I’ll take that as praise
Love: She’s so precious
>I just have to increase my emotional strength
>I just have to strengthen my bond with you, Luca
Luca: It’s so like you to say that
Luca: That’s exactly why I just keep falling more and more in love with you
Felicita: …
Luca: Saying that…really is unfair
Luca: I can’t express how much it fills my heart to hear you say that, Felicita
Luca: And you know…that it’s love I’m being filled with, right?
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Daily: Since when did my heart become so full of Ojou-sama…
Love: It always surprises me when she says things that I don’t expect
Luca: Then I’ll make you a vow in my own words
❤≪Luca≫ Ojou-sama
Link: The hat you gave me is a symbol of the new bond that we’ve begun
Luca: If it’s for you, then I can withstand any pain
Luca: I’ll be your shield
Luca: My feelings can make up for anything I might lose, so it will be alright
Luca: So please don’t cry
Luca: And please look after yourself
Luca: Can you please kiss me too, Felicita?
>The two of us are “The Lovers”
(+10 Amore)
>I feel the same. …And this kick will prove it
(+10 Amore)
>I love you
(+50 Amore)
Luca: Yes. Thank you
Luca: …That’s so like you, Ojou-sama
Luca: Guh…!!
Luca: You didn’t actually have to kick me…
Luca: Felicita
~*Scene: VF Deck*~
Luca: Ojou-sama, Liberta and the others are…wait, over there, that’s…me!?
Luca (Ash): …
Liberta: Huh!? Why are there two Lucas?
❤≪Liberta≫ Seems confused
Pleasure: Ojou’s alright!
Place: There’s two Lucas!?
Nova: There’s the Luca in front of us wearing his hat
❤≪Nova≫ Seems confused
Pleasure: What a relief
Place: What is this…
Dante: And the Luca with no hat who just showed up with Ojou-sama
❤≪Dante≫ Seems confused
Arcana: It’s just one thing after another
Luca: What’s everyone doing here?
❤≪Luca≫ Can’t seem to handle it
Person: …Please give me back my hat already
Link: Why my hat of all things
Pleasure: I’m glad that the three of them are here
Dante: We’re waiting for Pace and Debito
Liberta: We couldn’t find each other because of the weird fog, but it stopped appearing after last night
Nova: And thanks to that, we’ve been able to regroup little by little
Dante: I was able to recover the Tarocco
Nova: All that’s left is to find Jolly
Liberta: And to figure out which one’s the real Luca
Luca (Ash): Ojou-sama, please get away from him. He’s an imposter
Luca: Right. Ojou-sama, you should go over to Dante and Liberta
Dante: Um…
Felicita: …
Luca (Ash): What are you planning?
Luca: That’s what I’d like to ask you
Luca (Ash): This is getting nowhere…you’re Ash, aren’t you?
Luca: …Ash, where did you learn such a dull method of provocation?
Nova: Hey, who’s “Ash”?
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned
Arcana: The one who stole the Tarocco?
>Alchemist number three
>A new contractor of the Tarocco
Liberta: Huh~ So if they fight each other, it’d be an alchemy battle!
Nova: That’s not happening! What are you saying?
Liberta: But I can’t help wanting to see a fight
Dante: A contractor…how did he form a contract?
Nova: If one of them is the contractor, Ash, then that means his powers are to turn into others
Dante: That power would be useful in Intelligence, but now’s not the time
❤≪Liberta≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Dante≫ Tarocco
Daily: We get to see Luca go all out!
Pain: It’s not an easy thing to contract
Arcana: Transformation…
❤≪Nova≫ Seems confused ❤≪Nova≫ Seems confused
Daily: Show some restraint!!
Arcana: But all we can do is wait
Person: I didn’t sense anything wrong with the first Luca…
Arcana: But all we can do is wait
Dante: Well…maybe I could check to Tarocco to see which one he contracted…
Nova: “The Magician”…
Luca: It looks like everyone is watching us
❤≪Luca≫ Can’t seem to handle it
Link: How can he use my precious hat like this…
Person: ……
Luca: Now I can give you the punishment you deserve
Luca (Ash): What is it that’s making you so worked up?
Luca: I will have you return my hat
Luca (Ash): Why must I return what’s mine?
Luca: Don’t touch it!
❤≪Luca≫ Can’t seem to handle it
Link: !
(*dodge)
Luca (Ash): !?
Liberta/Nova: Wha!?
❤≪Liberta≫ Seems confused ❤≪Nova≫ Seems confused
Person: Did Luca really just say that!?
Person: Luca can be that commanding!?
Felicita: !
Luca (Ash): *laugh*, Your disguise is coming undone, Ash
Luca: Do you know how important that hat is to me? …I’m disgusted to see it worn by someone who doesn’t understand that
Luca: So give it…
(*whish)
Luca (Ash): Ah!
(*glare)
Luca: L’Armonia della Luce!!
(*crackle)
Luca (Ash): Erg…
Dante: I’ve never seen Luca get that angry before…
>You can’t let Ash get to you
(No Amore)
>Right now, Luca can’t lose
(+20 Amore)
Luca: There are many ill-natured people among alchemists. I wouldn’t let something like this get to me
Luca: …Unless it comes to insulting my love, I’m ashamed to say
Luca: All I can say in response to that is “thank you…
Luca: Ojou-sama, I apologize for worrying you
Luca: But I’ll be alright. I feel just fine
(*step)
(*spark) Luca: Haaah!!
Luca (Ash): Guh…
Luca (Ash): This is a waste of time. Strawberry Head…use the “Wheel of Fortune”!
Luca (Ash): There’s someone who needs it’s power…I want to see if using it will turn him back to normal
Luca (Ash): The powers of the Tarocco are to be used, right? So…
(*whish) Luca: Don’t keep telling her to use it without understanding the risks!
Luca: L’Armonia della Luce!!
(*crackle)
Luca (Ash): Hah! Which one of us is really the fake…
(*glare) Luca: It’s because of you that I’m acting like this
Luca: Haah!!
(*whack) Luca (Ash): Uwah!
(*grip) Luca (Ash): Hah!
(*dodge) Luca: That won’t hit…!
Luca: I have another question
Luca: Your powers are from “The Magician”. So, can you control yourself in your animal form?
Luca (Ash): !
Luca: So you can’t. Are you searching for a way so that you can?
Luca (Ash): How did you…
Luca: I saw the formulas in the hold
Luca: It was research into a technique that would allow someone to return to normal after they were transformed
Luca: You’ve been at it for a while. Oh right, I fixed some mistakes in the formula for you
Luca (Ash): Shut up. It’s terrible to go snooping into people’s business
Luca (Ash): If you know that much, then tell me the solution
Luca: …Is that the way of an alchemist?
Luca: If you just want the answer and not the method, then you have no right to call yourself an alchemist
Luca (Ash): Ugh…!
Luca: This will finish it!!
Luca: Light calls for happiness, and exists together with the people…! Quattro Felicita!!
(*whack) Luca (Ash): Uwah!
(*shaky)
Luca: We have another alchemist among Arcana Famiglia
Luca: He may have some information that would be useful to you
Luca: Why don’t you try asking him? You don’t have anything to lose, right?
Ash: Isn’t he even worse than you… The wind from earlier was him, right?
Luca: …Yes, he truly is terrible
Jolly: *chuckle*…Is it really alright for you to relax? The sun has gone down
Jolly: Now, a former member of our Family is on his way…
~*End of Scene*~
Special Voice obtained. It can be heard in the Profile section
(Continue to Luca Chapter 5)
(Back to Directory)
#luca#arcana famiglia#vascello fantasma no majutsushi#chapter 4#solar translations#psp game#translation#luca snapped#also i find it sweet that his ultimate attack's name has 'felicita' in it
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VF Debito Chapter 3: The Scariest Thing
Unrest lingers in Debito’s heart. The ship awakens the past. And that’s the scariest thing…
~*Flashback: Back Alley*~
Man: Gaah!
Debito: What, did I miss?
Man: Ugh…, you…where did you come from!?
Debito: Hm…I’ve been next to you the whole time?
Debito: It doesn’t matter if you know that though
Man: !?
Debito: What you did is called betrayal
Debito: *chuckle*…
Man: H, help me, please…I’ll do anything…!
Debito: See you—
Debito: ——…
Man: …Gah
Man: ……I’ll, never…forget that…single…eye
Debito: …Huh
Debito: So stupid. That means nothing now that you’re dead
Debito: Besides…
Debito: I’ll be forgetting all about your face by tomorrow
Debito: That’s all for today then…
Debito: …
Debito: …I’m tired
~*End Flashback*~
~*Scene: VF Cabin Deck 1*~
(*jumps) Debito: …!
Debito: Ugh…, damn it…what the hell!
Debito: They never learn and are coming to get killed again…!
Debito: Damn it…I can still hear the sound of bones and their agonized screams
Debito: *sigh*…. Why can’t they, or I…find peace even after we die…
Felicita: !
>I heard the sound of a gun
(No Amore)
>…That scared me
(-10 Amore)
Debito: Yeah, I heard it too
Debito: It was in a dream though…
Debito: Sorry for being so loud…
Debito: Hm? Were you talking about the dream…?
❤≪Debito≫ Seems irritated ❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be hiding something
Place: Was this ship the cause of that dream…
Pain: I haven’t seen that since I got my new eye…
???: I can’t see very well here
Link: How could I scare Bambina…
Pain: It’s been a while since I’ve had a nightmare…
???: I can’t see very well here
~*Scene: VF Cabin Deck 1*~
Debito: A man was shot…. Yeah, it was definitely the same dream
❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned
Link: A memory…from the part of my past that I hate the most
Pain: I want to forget
Debito: That’s a strange thing to happen
Debito: It was either the power of this ship, or the Tarocco. But, I guess it doesn’t matter which
Debito: If we were going to share a dream, I would have preferred a sweet dream of you, Bambina
Debito: …Seeing my dreams aren’t any fun, right? Today’s was especially dull
Felicita: …
Debito: Hm? You’re not looking so good…
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be plotting
Love: I wish Bambina would see only good dreams too
Pain: I want to forget…
Debito: Hey…even if it’s dark, I can see how pale you are
Debito: Even your lips…look blue
>Debito, you’re too close!
(+30 Amore)
>Did that really happen?
(-10 Amore)
>Weren’t you scared, Debito?
(No Amore)
Debito: Really? Isn’t this normal?
(*whoosh)
Felicita: !
Debito: You’re not scared of the ghosts anymore, but you still can’t take the sound of the wind?
Debito: You’re such a troublesome lady
Debito: …I guess I have to make sure not to scare you any more than I have
Debito: …What do you think?
Debito: But, you went pale because that’s what you thought, right Bambina?
Debito: That’s your answer
Debito: That means you were scared, Bambina?
Debito: I’m…most scared of the living than anything
Debito: Or I should be…, but I can’t with this ship
❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be hiding something ❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned
Pain: I usually just pretend I’ve forgotten
Link: I feel like I can forget when I see your face
Daily: I understand that she doesn’t want to believe it
Pain: I want to forget
Daily: I feel better now that I’m awake but…I’m still uneasy
Pain: I just don’t want to remember
Fukurota: Hoot!?
Debito: …
❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned
Person: That idiot who can’t hide his killing intent is here
Arcana: He’s after the Tarocco?
Person: Bambina…can move now
Debito: *sigh*…I’m sensing a bad presence…
Debito: I’ll be borrowing your special weapons, Bambina?
Felicita: ?
(*whish) Debito: …Hah!
Ash: Hey! Watch it!
Debito: It’s your fault for coming in the middle of the night
Ash: Nighttime is when this ship is alive. You don’t get to complain
❤≪Ash≫ Seems irritated
Place: I don’t want to hear that from someone who got on this ship thinking he owns the place
Person: I will get it back
Debito: Can you not read the room, or are you sneaking into our bed…. You really have some bad habits
Ash: Shut up! Just give back what you stole
Debito: Do you…mean this?
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be mocking
Person: Bambina…can move now
Arcana: So he’s after the Tarocco
Felicita: !
Debito: Hey, Bambina
Debito: Don’t you want to forget about that awful dream?
Debito: Then let’s have a bit of fun to distract ourselves
>…Yeah
(+20 Amore)
>What are we going to do?
(No Amore)
Debito: Guess I can count on you…
Debito: Then——
Felicita: *step*
Debito: Here!
Felicita: *catches*
Debito: We’re doing this
(*throw) Debito: Catch…!
Felicita: !
Debito: Now, run!
Felicita: *step*
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be plotting ❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be plotting
Arcana: I’ll throw you the Tarocco, so catch
Daily: It’s our style of hospitality
Pain: It might work as a way for us to let it out
Arcana: I’ll throw you the Tarocco, so catch
Daily: All we can do is go wild on a day like today
Pain: Kind of like letting it out?
~*Scene: VF Staircase*~
(*jump)
Debito: Now, shall we show him how good we are together…
(*smirk) Debito: Right, Felicita?
(*smile) Felicita: Yeah
(*step)
(*shing) Ash: Hold it, Strawberry Head! Give those back!
(*whish)
Felicita: …
Operation Hints: Successful hits in the Duello will increase Amore with your partner. Amore will decrease if you miss
Dodge!
>Hit
(+50 Amore)
>Miss
(-50 Amore)
Felicita: *dodge*
Debito: Nice, your agility really is great
(*step) Debito: Okay, now over here
Felicita: …
(*whack) Felicita: Ah!
(*collapse) Felicita: !
(*sigh) Debito: Watch your step, Bambina
(*whoosh) Debito: Anyway, why do you keep saying to “give them back”?
(*catch)
Debito: It was ours’ to begin with
(*whish) Ash: No, they’re mine!
(*dodge) Debito: There’s no way!
(*step) Felicita: …
(*whoosh) Felicita: Hya!
Attack!
>Hit
(+50 Amore)
>Miss
(-50 Amore)
(*whack) Ash: Damn it…
(*dodge) Ash: …Whoa
~*Scene: VF Deck*~
Debito: I heard our orders for the worst case scenario were to throw them in the sea
(*smirk) Debito: I don’t think that’s a bad idea
Ash: Don’t!
(*toss) Debito: *chuckle*, what happens is up to you, okay?
(*throw) Debito: Here! What about you, Bambina?
(*whoosh)
Ash: Didn’t I say to give those back!
Felicita: !
Dodge!
>Hit
(+50 Amore)
>Miss
(-50 Amore)
Felicita: *dodge*
(*whack) Felicita: Ah!
Felicita: *slide*
Debito: Bambina!
Felicita: Yeah
(*whoosh)
(*catch) Debito: Perfect
Debito: Hyahahaha! This is so fun! It’s perfect for forgetting about stuff
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be having fun
Love: You agree, right
Person: Just let me…distract myself
Pain: Why am I still uneasy
Debito: I wish this could continue forever!
Debito: By the way, Bambina
Debito: Do you like “having fun”?
Debito: And, how about me…?
>Why are you asking now!?
(+15 Amore)
>Can I say it?
(+30 Amore)
>…Wha!?
(No Amore)
Debito: Well, because I want to hear it “now”
Debito: So, are you going to say it?
Debito: Yeah, of course. I asked because I want to hear your answer
Debito: Well, there’s only one thing for you to say, Bambina
Debito: So hurry up and say it
Debito: What, didn’t you hear me?
Debito: I’m asking if you love me
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be having fun ❤≪Debito≫ Bambina
Love: Because now is when I want to hear it
Pain: Don’t be embarrassed
???: I can’t see very well here
Love: I want you to agree…
Pain: No, I’m not uneasy
???: I can’t see very well here
Debito: *chuckle*…You understand, right?
Debito: You’re supposed to say “yes, I love you” even if it’s a lie, right?
❤≪Debito≫ Can't seem to handle it
Love: Can I think of that as your reply?
Pain: …I don’t care about the past
Pleasure: Seeing that face is enough
???: I can’t see very well here
Felicita: !
Ash: Wh, what are you two doing!?
❤≪Ash≫ Seems confused
Arcana: Is this some strategy!?
Person: I don’t get it!
Debito: You’ve got another blind spot
(*whack) Ash: Uwag!!
Debito: Hah! How pathetic
(*creak creak)
Debito: Looks like we have some more spectators…
❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned
Daily: Nighttime is when these guys are active
Arcana: …I don’t care about the past
???: I can’t see very well here
Debito: Then, I guess we’ll leave it at that
Skeleton: GRAAA……
Debito: Tch…
(*click) Debito: I said that I have nothing to say to you!!!
Felicita: !
~*Flashback*~
Debito: ——…
~*End Flashback*~
Felicita: …
❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned
Pain: Gunshots…the dream from earlier…
Person: She’s scared…
Debito: ……!
Debito: Bambina, over here!
~*Scene: VF Staircase*~
~*Scene: VF Cabin Deck 2*~
Debito: We went in without checking first but…it’s pretty messy in here
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to want to run away
Pain: Bambina was scared…by this gun
Place: There’s so much dust in here
???: I can’t see very well here
Debito: Well, it’s fine as long as they don’t see us…
Debito: *sigh*…
Debito: Sit next to me
Felicita: *sits*
Debito: Did you…really not like the sound of gunshots that much?
Debito: …Nevermind, you don’t have to answer
Debito: ……
❤≪Debito≫ Seems irritated
Person: Why did I scare Bambina
Pain: I don’t want to hear her answer…wait, am I just “running away”?
???: I can’t see very well here
Debito: …Hm?
Debito: Ugh…it got dirty from earlier…
Debito:Damn it, there’s just more and more problems. I only have spares of these in the mansion
Debito: I don’t want to expose my right eye, so I’ll just deal with it like this for now
Debito: If I don’t cover it, I end up remembering the past even if I don’t want to
Debito: …The past
>I was just surprised earlier
(No Amore)
>The skeletons are scarier than gunshots
(+5 Amore)
Debito: Are you sure? You’re hands are shaking
Debito: Well, since you heard it after seeing that strange dream, it can’t be helped…
Debito: Shall I check again to see if you’re still pale?
Debito: …I’m kidding
Debito: You’re fine with the ghosts now, but the skeletons are still scary?
Debito: It’d be nice if there were nice skeletons like with Caterina
Debito: Unfortunately, it looks like there are only those that want to be rid of their grudges here…
Debito: *sigh*…
Debito: …
Debito: Sorry for making you experience so many scary things
❤≪Debito≫ Seems as usual
Love: And just when it became just the two of us for the night
Pain: Bambina doesn’t need to know any more about me
Debito: The truth is, you’ve never been good with this stuff, right?
Felicita: !
Debito: Luca won’t shut up when it comes to you, so I more or less knew about it
Debito: I’ve seen how you’re desperately trying and failing to hide how you’re a scaredy cat
Debito: So, sorry
>Debito, you’re terrible
(+5 Amore)
>I want you to know more about me from now on
(+10 Amore)
>I don’t like how I’m the only one with their past getting found out
(-5 Amore)
Debito: Maybe I am…
Debito: It’s true that I’m not really into anything besides women
Debito: Hm, I like hearing that
Debito: If that’s how you feel Bambina, then I’d be happy to
Debito: There’s still a lot that we don’t know about each other, right?
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
Debito: Complain to the one who talked about it without me asking
Debito: So now it’s your turn to learn about me, Bambina
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Debito≫ Seems concerned
Pleasure: And who was the one who chose me?
Link: You understand a lot about me, right?
???: I can’t see very well here
Love: I want to know more about you too
Pleasure: I won’t forget that
???: I can’t see very well here
Pleasure: There’s still more that we don’t know
Link: I’d agree if I didn’t know about your powers
???: I can’t see very well here
>Even though you’re actually a nice person
(+20 Amore)
>I knew that already
(+15 Amore)
Debito: …That’s your ideal, isn’t it Bambina?
Felicita: !
Debito: Don’t say stuff that I’m not used to hearing
Debito: …
Debito: You really are good at surprising me with unexpected words
Debito: Can you tell me more things that I don’t know?
Debito: You’re staying with me knowing that, Bambina?
Debito: Maybe you’re also terrible?
Debito: …
Debito: You really are good at surprising me with unexpected words
Debito: Can you tell me more things that I don’t know?
❤≪Debito≫ Can't seem to handle it ❤≪Debito≫ Can't seem to handle it
Pleasure: I really can’t win against you
Pleasure: I really can’t win against you
Debito: But, we can take our time with that when we return to the mansion
Debito: Since we don’t who could be watching us on this ship
Debito: Bambina, I have one request
❤≪Debito≫ Seems to be hiding something
Love: I called it a “good luck charm” earlier
Pain: You don’t have to know any more than you already do
Debito: I made sure to take out the bullets…
Debito: You really should be the one to hold on to this, Bambina
Debito: It’ll also be like a “good luck charm” for me
Debito: …Fel
❤≪Debito≫ Can't seem to handle it
Link: There’s meaning to you holding on to it…
Pain: …I might be close to my limit
???: I can’t see very well here
Debito: Are you scared of me right now?
Felicita: No
Debito: …Alright. That’s good then
~*Scene: VF Cabin Deck 2*~
Felicita: Zzz…
~*Flashback: Back Alley*~
Man: ……I’ll, never…forget that…single…eye
~*End Flashback*~
Debito: I’ve always been good at lying…and remembering things
Debito: *sigh*…
Debito: So much so that it hurts
~*End of Scene*~
Special Voice obtained. It can be heard in the Profile section
(Continue to Debito Chapter 4)
(Back to Directory)
#debito#arcana famiglia#vascello fantasma no majutsushi#chapter 3#solar translations#psp game#translation#releases#are they playing monkey in the middle with ash there?
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