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credince--writes · 9 months

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Deep In Those Woods 6

Keegan P. Russ x Fem!Reader

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6

AO3

Masterlist

You find a strange man in the woods, no doubt running from the federation. He seems, well, in simple terms beat to shit. May your act of kindness not go unpunished.

A/N:

DID SOMEONE SAY WORLDBUILDING AND SEXUALLLLL TENSION?

I did :)

Sorry I've been gone so long my appendix fucking exploded

Taglist:

@dindjarinsmeshla @tessxq @ladyvlolypop @tiny-kasper

@biggiecheeselover @konigsleftkidney @mykneeshurt @katsufairies @noname0756

Keegan stared, mouth opening and trying to speak but nothing coming out- his mind rushing a million miles a minute.

"Because you owe me?" You teased.

He releases a breath. "Yea, Princess. Because I owe you."

You were angry, rightfully so-

You felt you were further past this, but at the same time, you really didn't know each other at all did you?

You knew he muttered in his sleep, softly, and only when he felt warm. He never mumbled when he was cold, he'd curl in on himself

You knew his eyes reminded you of the clear, blue waters of the creeks and rivers that passed over the rocks here.

You knew that even though he'd never say anything, he liked having extra carmelized onions in his food.

Or that he still wouldn't complain, but was always hesitant to eat scrambled eggs for some reason.

"You need to sit down." You all but hissed out, shooing him out of the kitchen and back down onto the couch across the room.

"And you..." Keegan sat down, leaning back into the cushion of the couch and letting out a sigh of relief, the stabbing pain in his side subsiding as he leaned back and relaxed. Trailing off, the glanced out the window, dutifully ignoring the light red tinge of embarrassment that dusted onto his face understanding that yes, you were right about his exertion.

He needed to dial it back if he ever wanted to get better.

He'd been hurt worse before, he argued, he shouldn't be complacent in a stranger's home just because it was warm.

Just because there were rare occasions where your hand would grace across his skin, his eyes would flutter closed and he could almost forget about how horrible of a man he really was.

He was destined to be buried face down in the Earth, pointed back home in some strange, cold, and hostile land. Not being doted on, and soaking it up like a greedy sponge.

What the fuck is he doing?

He has been MIA for who knows how long- he couldn't keep track of the days in his concussed stupor, but he knows it was more than two weeks minimum of time he'd lost total.

Keegan was angry with himself for letting the time get away from him- but from the dark splotching on his skin he knew that if he had just tried to push it he would've died under the ferns and moss.

That was, if he ever would've managed to get himself out of that creek.

A horrible little part of him knew he wouldn't have.

He needed to get his radio working- he needed to get intel back to base- the fact that there was four unmarked settlements they didn't even know about was concerning. How old was the information they'd sent him out here for based off of?

What he needed was-

“Soup.” You said, almost sheepishly as you sat down next to him, readying yourself to raise the spoon to his lips. His cold blue eyes narrowed on the bowl, forcing him to sit up and reach his hands out to pull it from your grip.

Your cheeks burned, turning your head away and sucked in a deep breath trying not to immediately turn back and react, glance down at his waistband, and argue. Biting your tongue and waiting just a millisecond you gather your thoughts you turned your head back to look at him, the amusement clear in his pale blue eyes.

You quickly stood, excusing yourself and walking outside to take a breath.

The feeling of your warm hands brushing against his chest when you thought he was asleep, selfishly keeping his breathing even to lure your little hands into touching him.

No.

He had pieces of why he'd been sent, he knew the mission. He just lost bits of time to the adrenaline and blood loss as he staggered through the woods and eventually toppled into the creek.

He'd left from Santa Monica nearly two months ago, he knew that. The plane ride, the rinky dinky bush plane if it could even be considered a plane.

It had two wings in flew, he mused to himself, of course, it was a fucking plane.

The heavily wooded areas of the northern segment of the state, while not ravished by the attacks of ODIN had fallen victim to the infestation of Federation soldiers. It was a guerilla war, in the street, woods, the rivers. The cities fell first, but the remote areas were controlled by farmers withheld.

Infrastructure was destroyed, bridges were blown, and entire counties were islanded in a matter of days.

And since they held no real value in the war, they were left alone.

Until five months ago.

The intel was solid, they'd moved in from the coast suddenly, surging into the few remaining skeletons of cities and overwhelming what little military a civilian presence was left.

The question was why.

Nuclear Power.

A small, barely on-the-map city and it's nearly forgotten nuclear power plant was guarded with the minimal military presence that remained in the area. And clearly, the presence wasn't enough.

The rods in the plant could be deconstructed and turned into dirty bombs that could, and more than likely would, wreak havoc on the few remaining 'unscathed' cities of the country.

Keegan called it one of the worst oversights possible-

all they had to do was remove the fucking nuclear components/

But alas, the bridges had been blown up.

Was the justification.

He lived in the woods, deep behind the cover, and stalked, much like the wildlife rampantly taking back over the land. Lurking in the shadows and observing trying to confirm if the plant was being used to convert for weapons of mass destruction.

Or, even more plausibly, to turn the city into one of their most efficiently functioning bases on American soil.

He volunteered himself for the mission, needed some way to escape after the last absolute shit show of a mission that ended with both Hesh and Logan getting hurt. He knew he couldn't have prevented it- it's just something that happens on the job now, but it still melted into his flesh like acid.

He needed time to be alone, time to rethink the events that had happened. What better way to have plenty of time to think than to volunteer to sit in a glorified damp hole for God knows how long and simply wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

It started to become clear that at least for now, the power plant was to stay to its intended use- holding the old employees at gunpoint to ensure that the plant stayed maintained.

He waited some more.

Until the crackling of his radio, quiet in his ear but so loud compared to the silence he'd become accustomed to over the last few days. New intel on a location nestled deep in the woods, five miles from his current vantage point staring down onto the plant.

Well, that's where it went to shit.

The hike wasn't the bad part, neither was the rain, or the mosquitoes, or the run-in with the bear. He could manage all of those things, but he wasn't prepared to see the base. The dingy little thing if it could even be called a base.

He could argue with himself and say he'd stayed in worse, but that was beside the point.

It was the people.

Of course, there would be the locals, they wouldn't be able to sustain the base without their (forced) help of them. He knew that, that was usually how those bases went. Either the locals would be killed on sight, or be forced into laboring for their invaders.

He just never got used to how skinny and hollow they always looked.

So when it was one of the Prisoners who saw past the camouflage and alerted the soldiers, barrels turning and pointing dangerously close to not twigs and leaves- Keegan decided he needed to move.

And he was moving, running- fleeing, for three days.

The delirium of exhaustion caused hallucinations of sounds that weren't really there- soldiers that weren't really there. Getting the drop on him in ways they shouldn't have been able to.

He'll blame it on the exhaustion.

But it seems like some of these soldiers knew the land better than a non-local soldier.

They'd started to convert.

And he ran, until the blade of his knife was dull and blood splattered on the ferns and leaves beneath him. Until his legs gave out from under him.

Until he tumbled into the sweet, cold fresh water of your creek.

Until he felt the first brush of your warm flesh against his.

Maybe he was still delirious.

#Call of Duty #Keegan P Russ x reader #Keegan Russ x Reader #Call of Duty Ghosts #Deep In Those Woods

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miasudare · 6 months

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I HAVE A CRAZY THEORY ABOUT UNDERTALE AND DELTARUNE

(Note that it's just a theory!!!!)

So I've been thinking about it for a while. A couple of days a ago I saw a post about Undertale Spotify album. In the video they said that the album starts with "Once upon a time" and ends with "Good night" (credits to them) and that may imply that Undertale is a bedtime story. So that video lead me to this theory (it's long) :

I think Undertale is the dream of Kris from Deltarune. Not just any dream though, a lucid dream. Meaning that you control the dream yourself. Now, I want you to keep remembering what Kris does at the end of Chapter 1 while you read this.

Some dialogs in the game Undertale keeps telling you that you are living a dream such as that one death screen from (I guess it was either Flowey or Asriel) says " It's all a bad dream", (if I remember correctly) at the end of pacifist route Asgore saying "this is like a dream" or the item "Dream" you get from Asriel. Also you can say that the underground is always at the night time if there is no sun making a day cycle. Throughout your game play you can sleep at 4 locations anytime you want. And some monsters do sleep there with you.

Now I know you'll be asking; what about Frisk and Chara? Well I think it might sound crazy for a second but they are the same person, just representing different personalities. When I told you to remember what Kris does at the end of Chapter 1 is from this part. They rips their red* soul puts it in a cage and they turns to camera with red eyes and a knife. Meaning their true nature is showing violence. Now let me explain this detailed:

1-Frisk: In your Undertale game play you play as Frisk. They don't talk, show any emotion in neutral route or think for themselves at all. They have no emotion on their face too. Like a puppet. Frisk have/has(?) no control over themselves. Also throughout the game Frisk is seen with a red* heart/soul. We never saw anyone else use this color of soul in undertale. Not even Chara. /it might be fanon that Chara has red soul/

2-Chara: They have red eyes, a little smile and they show up at the end of genocide route. Unlike Frisk, Chara seems to be having control, hobbies and likings. Such as the comment they make about the environment in Asgore's house or the coffin. And in the genocide route of Undertale you'll realize that Chara slowly gains control over you. I'm not implying that Chara is pure evil even though they are violent since in the end we didn't get to choose not to kill Asgore or Flowey. Not to mention that Chara gains all the control over us after we make violent actions.

3-Kris: In Deltarune (most likely in the beginning)we don't get to choose anything about who we are. We don't have control. Although as soon as we go to the Dark World things chance. We get to choose what Kris does. We can make them hurt others, show mercy on others or even make them eat moss. WE get to ruin/perfect their life in the Dark World. And Kris can't do anything but obey us. Just like Frisk. And just like Frisk, Kris doesn't shows any emotion in the game play. When we get to the cutscene tho, you'll realize that the game is over. You don't have control over Kris. And Kris knows it. There is nothing you can do to stop them from doing what they want. They are free from you.

When Kris goes to the bed. There is a black screen for a while and we get to see the cutscene. Maybe after what Kris experienced in the Dark World, they had a dream about what would it be like if their life was just like that. Going to adventures, fighting monsters. And normally Kris sees their family, friends or their neighbors in the dream. That would explain a lot of things. Like why we see Asgore and Toriel are divorced in Undertale. In Deltarune they are also divorced so it would be logical for Kris to see them as single too. When you connect the dots you even get why some events happened.

In Undertale you never get to see Asgore alive without doing pacifist. And even if you do pacifist he gets treated poorly. In all other endings he dies. All because of Flowey(I'm gonna come to that too). Meaning that maybe Kris doesn't have a good relationship with his father at all. There might be things that happened during the divorce. Kris sees Asgore as the King because he is the only man that Kris knows as a strong male figure.

Also Toriel, being a queen is the same. Toriel is the only one Kris could image being in charge of a nation. She is a teacher after all and Kris might think her to be very smart. We also see Toriel talking about wanting to be a teacher in Undertale. Kris didn't miss that one. The way Toriel acts is also important too. She treats a complete stranger like her child giving them a bed, food, love and even education. Meaning that Kris and Toriel has a good relationship as mother-child.

Asriel though is very complicated. In Deltarune we never see him. We only know that Asriel is very talented in many ways because of the trophies in his shelf. In Undertale tho we mostly see him as a evil defenseless little flower in both neutral and genocide endings. And what did I said about Asgroe? He keeps dying in both endings. He gets killed by Asriel. This might imply 2 things. 1 Asriel doesn't have a healthy relationship with his father. 2 Asriel caused the divorce and he is not innocent. It would explain why we never get to see him again after he brakes the barrier. He doesn't get a happy ending while everyone gets. Because Kris don't think that Asriel deserves to be happy. We don't know much about the relationship between Asriel and Kris except for knowing that Flowey kills Frisk a lot. When you think that way you'll notice that Asriel might be a bully to Kris. He is talented, he might get more love and support from his parents since he goes to college. So no one would say anything to him if he picks on or even shows violence towards Kris. This might be the reason Kris stays quiet all the time or doesn't moves an inch while Susie threatens to eats his face off. Kris is used to it. In the other hand, Kris might even hate Asriel too. Like I said Kris doesn't think that Asriel deserves a happy end. (Not to mention we see Asriel as a cry baby. Probably Kris would love to see that.) Resulting him dying in process. A world without an Asriel is a world where everyone is happy to Kris. The way Chara portrays Flowey in genocide is also a thing. Flowey in genocide is scared, hopeless and helpless. Kris might imagine Asriel like that. When Kris gets a chance and a knife, Asriel begging them to not kill him, oh how much satisfaction Kris would feel.

Sans and Papyrus's apperience depends on Kris's imagination to be honest. Kris knows something goes on with his mother and Sans. Since Sans says "I befriended your mom last night". So this would cause Kris to see Sans as a punny, relaxed and mysterious man. The way Toriel would like to hang out. The mystery part also comes from Kris knowing a little bit of Sans. Papyrus is also up to Kris's imagination. The way Sans told them about Papyrus might resulted Kris to see him as a merciful, complex but friendly guy. And since Kris met Sans the day they fell into the Dark World would explain the Rabbit Shop lady's dialogs "They showed up out of no where and introduced themselves"

I don't think I need to talk about Undyne and Alphys. Undyne is a police officer (police shef?) and that would explain how Kris sees her in Undertale. An independent woman as a leader of a very strict group of guards. And Alphys? She is a science teacher and probably the only science teacher in the town. It would also make sense for think her as a scientist. Also the neighbors. We see Catty, Bratty, Snowdrake(not sure). Kris might see Catty and Bratty as low life, non important, cheapskate girls so that could led us to see them hanging in a literal dumpster, selling trash.

I don't know what I should tell you about Gaster. We just need more chapters so I can explain more I guess. Do you like this theory? Do you agree or not?

#undertale #deltarune #theory #undertale theory #deltarune theory #toby fox

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mcl4r3n · 9 months

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Dando + 13 pretty please moss ~ love birb <3

This was kind of inspired by @merryslilhobbit's Chapter 4 for Celebrations! <3

List of prompts here :3

---

The worst thing about Daniel Ricciardo's inability to let go of a bit is that Lando keeps having to suffer because of it.

He didn't even know that he was walking into one until it happened.

To run it back, here's the situation: Lando has big hands. Lando is good with his hands. And his stupid boyfriend is always complaining about his neck hurting. So Lando finally offers to massage him now that he's a lone wolf and no longer has a trainer on the regular to do this shit for him.

It happens at Zandvoort, and Daniel's parked himself at one of the McLaren hospitality tables like he owns the place and absolutely refuses to leave Lando in peace to eat his teriyaki chicken.

He whines so much about his neck that Lando huffs in annoyance and finally stands behind him to press his thumbs into the firm tangle of muscles and suddenly Daniel is tipping his head forward and groaning out loud, in public.

Lando smacks him on the back of the head, earning a sad little yelp which of course instantly makes Lando feel bad, so he rubs the spot immediately.

"Danny, shut up," Lando says, his voice low.

Which was his first and most fatal mistake.

He gets back to it, pressing harder into Daniel's traps where the muscle is even more taut, forced to recuperate after being off the grid for so long. Lando uses his elbow to apply pressure on a particularly stiff spot, and Daniel, well—

“Oh God, yes, right there— oh my God, Lando just like that, please don’t stop.”

Two McLaren mechanics look up from their lunch to stare at them, but then when they see that it's Daniel, all they get is amused laughter and a fond shake of their heads.

Lando leans and hisses, "Can you stop that? You’re making it sound like we’re in a porno and now I’m highly uncomfortable.”

Daniel just laughs harder and then tips his head back to smile brightly at him, the little shit.

"Baby, you know what I sound like when we're making a porno," he whispers, and then fucking winks.

Lando flicks his forehead in response, his cheeks burning at the memory. Jesus.

"I am not touching you in public ever again," Lando says, and sits back down to eat the rest of his meal.

"But my neeeeeeck," Daniel whines, attempting to pull puppy dog eyes that just absolutely do not work on a thirty-four year old man with stubble and wild curly hair.

"Suffer," Lando replies, and shoves a forkful of rice into his mouth.

#:D #for birbyyyyy #birb tag #dando #dr3 #ln4 #my fic #moss fic #f1 drabbles

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shukakumoodboard · 4 months

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anon i hope you are able to find this because you asked my original blog and i’m trying to stealthily migrate so my irls can't find me dkgjhfkjl

answers below the cut <3

would you like some fandomy thoughts?

1. list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s) [which ofc im answering for gaalee]

the discord i'm in for it is the highlight of my day and forms approximately 65% of my social life! who knew you could hyperfixate on some gay ninjas and as a result, end up visiting people irl and getting christmas cards and making incredible friends all over the world? pretty sure i have standing invites to homes in at least 3 different countries rn. incredible

fic quality is fuckin'. superior. and i'm not saying that because i write, i'm saying that as a reader. it's a smallish fandom and yet there's folks who can write full-length novels like @sagemoderocklee and @the-moss-project, people who can write every possible trope and au greyson's georg @ghoste-catte and @urieskooki and so many others i couldn't list them all. it's beyond obvious that the authors who write the gaalees are SO passionate about them. writers i lov you evryday

seguing from that into art!?!? pleas i have a dragon hoard of fanart only for my fics and there's over 100 pieces. A HUNDRED ARE TIOYU GIKISDINDIGME. giving u all a kissy rn. also the way i can get on discord and get immediately smacked in the face with bespoke paneenis liike every day help. gheelpp don't look at me. i will save my money and commission every one of u if its the last htign i do

2. a headcanon you weren’t sure about at first but have come to like!

oho! ready for this one? i was initially not super on board with hairy!lee. what was i on actually. me, a Wrong, and now i will purposefully include it in every fic as a sign of penance for my sins

3. answered!

4. say something nice about a ship you don’t ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual’s OTP, etc)

those who know me know that i strictly see leesaku as a brOTP, like those dudes are buddies to me. but that being said, i think leesaku as a romantic pairing is far healthier for sakura than her canon partner. lee is capable of so much love and forgiveness and they do parallel each other so much as the like... "underdog"/non-gifted member of their respective teams. she deserves love and support and understanding and lee would be genuinely ideal for it.

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

sunans (and team gai) being multilingual. oml one of my fave headcanons. you cannot tell me these different countries with different isolated villages are all casually speaking the same language when in big chunks of nart they didn't even like. get along properly. i loooove the concept of a shinobi common tongue and regional languages. further on that same thing, given team gai is pretty chinese-coded, i think it makes sense that they'd also be speaking another langauge, whether taught by gai or just because of their own independent histories or whatever. @sagemoderocklee has some truly stunning worldbuilding and it where i got my love for this hc from <3

6. something you see in art a lot and love

h-h-h-hHEIGHT DIFFERENCEEEEEEE

ok joking aside i refuse to believe gaara made it past like 5'3" that man did not sleep for his whole adolescence. conversely lee was probably on the Optimum Macros and that healthy eating would 100% contribute to maximum height gains etc. that man deserves to be 6 feet tall, that's my opinion and im right

thank you so much for the opportunity to gush about my blorbos <3

#gaalee #gaara #rock lee #team gai #leesaku #sakura haruno #fictalk #answers #writing gronp hours #also if anyone i @ed is like who dis itsa me kel

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shenvik · 1 year

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Sorry ya'll. Been choking on school work and stuff so i didn't post much. Anyway have this-

Ulman: I think I just ate moss

Pavel: Ew for real

Random dude: Yep, people get away from him before he started blastin-

Pavel: eY DON'T-

Ulman: HEUUUUGGGH

Random dude: eW wHaT tHe FuCk

Random dude#2: That's just yuck dud-

Ulman: *resume heughing*

Random dude#3: Bro people are eating here-

Random dude#4: why aRE YOU HEUGHING INTO YOUR OWN BOWL BITC-

Miller:

#metro #metro 2033 #art #miller #ulman #memes #metro exodus

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morporkian-cryptid · 8 months

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Really quick update without photos because I didn't have time to write yesterday. Or today. I'll write more later!

Day... 5 I think

We went to the region of Hakone yesterday, at the foot of Mount Fuji; gorgeous place, I felt like I stepped right into a Ghibli movie, nature everywhere, pine-covered mountains, water-filled moss, tiny forest trails and everything. It was raining too ❤️

We took the rope train to the Mt Fuji viewpoint but sadly it was too cloudy and we didn't see the mountain.

Next we took a trip on a GODDAMN DUTCH SAILBOAT (it was actually cheating, it used only the motor) that was gifted by the Netherlands to Japan in the Meiji era.

We saw the floating torii at Hakone Jinja

did some easy hiking in the countryside, and even came across a small trail that suddenly got super dark - Aime: "There has to be yokai here." Me: "It's like Spirited Away! Sweet, I can have my own Ghibli adventure!" Aime: "If we see a yokai I'm throwing you at it."

Day 6

We left early in the morning for KYOTO!

It is said that Kyoto is the capital of temples and shrines, and boy people aren't lying. We found a street that was just temple after temple after temple. Basically they have complexes with a bunch of temples or shrines together.

We found a super cute little temple to Jizo (Buddha protecting mothers and children), tucked away between two buildings, where I got my Goshuincho stamped - we even saw the priest do the calligraphy himself!

I bought twin omamori as a gist in another cute little temple, where the priest took a moment to pray over the omamori before giving them out.

There was a shrine where two separate people left senbazuru (one thousand folded paper cranes). And I found my first shrine to Inari-sama!! (my favourite shinto deity.) We're going to visit the world-famous Fushimi Inari Taisha shrine in a few days.

We ate at a seafood restaurant in the middle of a covered gallery with TONS of food stalls, like EVERYWHERE, with mostly fish and seashells, like I cannot even begin to describe the ambiance of this place. Some of them were just fisherman shops with like one or two tables in case someone wanted to eat lunch. I bought a squid skewer 🐙

Then we tried to go to Jijo Castle, lost a lot of time registering for the disabled discount, and rushed the thing in ten minutes because we had to get to Kinkakuji before closing time.

Kinkakuji, the Golden Pavillon, is just as gorgeous as the photos suggest. The park itself is beautiful too.. and we had to rush through the whole thing again (even run) because the Goshuincho bureau closed at 4:30. We went back into the park after I got my stamp tho. (there was a really nice security guard who showed us the way.) And I bought yet another omamori 😁

Oh and I found my first kimono thrift shop!!!!! I didn't find anything that caught my eye, but DAMN they were cheap as fuck and so pretty. We'll visit more thrift shops in a few days.

Now we're on our way to a ryokan hotel with a luxury dinner and animation with a maiko (a geisha apprentice) and an onsen. It's gonna cost an arm and a leg but it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience ❤

(also I need to go to an onsen so bad, my feet are going on strike)

#elliott's big adventure in japan

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residents-of-the-darkforest · 4 months

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One of Us is a Killer (part 4)

First part: https://www.tumblr.com/residents-of-the-darkforest/738940160410058752/one-of-us-is-a-killer?source=share

Previous: https://www.tumblr.com/residents-of-the-darkforest/739075196765585408/one-of-us-is-a-killer-part-3?source=share

=======

Going solely on what kin say in Lifegen every six moons, we build a story, and, more importantly, a resident

Please feel free to comment your interpretations of what is happening or your thoughts on the characters!

Who are your suspects so far?

Main character: Burnetshriek -- Lonesome

Mother: Wetfish (deceased) -- Wise

Mom: Beaverspeckle -- Adventurous

Sister: Midgefreckle -- Calm

Brother: Yewstripe (deceased) -- Strict

Brother: Privetdusk (deceased) -- Ambitious

Mate: Heathertree -- Loving

Daughter: Battumble -- Noisy -> Sneaky

Daughter: Yarrowpaw -- troublesome

Son: Yarrowpaw (deceased) -- Attention-seeker

Son: Rubblenettle -- Troublesome

Son: Jaggeddusk -- Honest -> Righteous

Son: Conifersprout -- Impulsive -> Fierce

Son: Tallpaw -- thoughtful

Conifer is 15 moons younger than his older littermates.

Tall and Yarrow are 14 moons younger than Conifer.

Side note: [....] in speech indicates that Burnetshriek has said something.

Bonus side note: orange highlights previously indicated that something was not directed at Burnetshriek or didn't have to do with her. Now, it's for text that is a repeated conversation.

MOON 84:

Mom: [why became med cat speech]

Midgefreckle: [Saw rogue on patrol speech]

Heathertree: "Hey, Burnetshriek! Could you roll that moss over here? [...] Why am I playing moss-ball, you ask? Uhm, because it's awesome, that's why! [...] Wha--No, it's not just for kits! It's beneficial for all warriors to hone their agility skills. [...] Maybe we could play a game sometime?"

Battumble: [Jagged makes Bat laugh over and over as they think about their time in the nursery].

Yarrowpaw: "It's Burnetshriek! How are you? [...] That's good! And me? Well, you know, the usual...."[Yarrowpaw probably spent the day playing with the kits, Burnet knows how to read her eyes].

Rubblenettle: "Burnetshriek! What do frogs do with their feet when they're not using them? [...] They don't do anything with them! Because if they were using them, they'd be doing something with them, silly!"

Jaggeddusk: "Hey, Burnetshriek? [...] You know, I heard you telling a story to the kits, a short while ago, and it was amazing. You're so talented at it! [...]...And I was wondering if you'd be able to finish the story? Just for me? I was caught by your every word like a mouse in claws! [...] You'll finish it later? That's good, just let me know, so I'm not out when you finish."

Mate: Dustweb.

Conifersprout: [Dare to jump off Warriors' den]

Tallpaw: [Catwatching]

MOON 90:

Mom: HEY LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Midgefreckle: "Think there are other Clans out there? [...] Like, way far away. Not the Clans that we know. [...] Maybe there's even some Clans on the sun! Or the moon!"

Heathertree: "You wanna learn something really stupid about plants? [...] No? Well, too bad, Burnetshriek! When I was a little younger, I would sneak out to the Twoleg dens with Gorgegrass and investigate all their plants. One den had a bunch of berries, and the kittypet who lived their informed me that most of them were poisonous, but the Twolegs ate them anyway, and nothing happened. Which, come on! Why can't I eat the long red berries? They look so tasty! And there were some they called 'cacao beans' that smelled delightful....Sometimes I wish I were a Twoleg. They have it so easy, and so...weird. I bet they can eat rocks and be just fine. Actually, now that I think about it, what's the worst thing that could happen if I ate a rock?....Here, Burnetshriek, do you want to help me look for rocks?"

Battumble: Leave me alone...

[Grieving, having constant nightmares].

Yarrowtimber: "Burnetshriek, I swear, somtimes it's like we're trapped here. [...] We never chose to be ShadowClan cats, it's just something we were born into...What if we would have been happier as loners? Or rogues? No one to tell us what to do or where to go or what to think....just free to be ourselves, and do whatever we please. [...] It's a great, big world out there, and I want to experience everything it has to offer! But instead, we're stuck here inside the territory, not allowed to venture out, not allowed to question. Sometimes I feel like the only cat in the Clan who's like this....Do you ever feel the same way?"

Rubblenettle: "I wonder how the fish feel in this weather...I'd ask them, but I haven't quite figured out how to speak fish yet."

Jaggeddusk: [What do you think of the weather? If you want my opinion...]

Conifersprout: "Hey, Burnetshriek, have you ever thought about uh...What if something happens to you? Or happens to me? Or something happens to the Clan, and we're both demolished in a fiery pit of nothingness! [...] Phew....sorry, I know I'm not usually so grim. But I guess I'm just really worried. [...] What if something goes wrong, and I'm not there to heal you? I won't let that happen....I just won't!"

Has been hearing the voices of StarClan cats.

Tallpaw: "Howdy, Burnetshriek! Are you ready to go and and do super cool warrior stuff? [...] Hehehe--me neither, and I'm not even a warrior! But we've gotta, I noticed my mentor was super excited so hopefully it's something neat today! [...] I've been thinking of surprising them with something, do you have any ideas? [...] Mm...that's a great idea! Thanks a bunch, I'll bring you something back as thanks!"

MOON 96:

Mom: [Beaverspeckle is speaking with a huge group of cats, their voice reverberating off the den walls. They're so funny and energetic. Beaverspeckle catches Burnet's eye and flashes them a huge smile. Somehow, she can make Burnet feel like the most special cat in all the Clans].

Midgefreckle: "..." [Midge sits next to Burnet quietly]. "Prrr." [She seems to enjoy the silence].

Heathertree: "Hey, flea-brain. I've been looking for you all over, what's--Wait. Something's up. I can tell you're upset about something. Was someone mean to you? Was it Hillgaze? I swear to StarClan, I'll-- [...] No one was mean to you? Well, okay...But I'll still shoot them a few dirty looks, just for good measure."

Battumble: "Yaknow, Burnetshriek, I never really found you all that convincing as a warrior. Real warriors are strong! We're fearless! We never back down from a fight! But in you, I sense...uncertainty. Maybe you should see the medicine cat about it."

Apprentice: Mousepaw.

Yarrowtimber: [Burnet teases Yarrow about her crush]. "Ah, come off it, Burnetshriek. Patchwhisper is just a friend, that's all....[Burnet rolls her eyes, but promises to herself that if someone breaks Yarrow's heart, she'll have to have a conversation with Patchwhisper...]

Rubblenettle: Balancing pinecone

Mate: Hillgaze.

Jaggeddusk:"Oh, hey, Burnetshriek! I learned this really cool new thing today, it's like... [The way his eyes flash reminds Burnet so much of his father. Clearly, Heather has had an influence on him].

Conifersprout: "I found this super cool cave network just outside the territory....Wanna come explore it with me later? [...] What was I doing outside the territory? Psh, do you seriously expect me to spend my entire life on ShadowClan territory? How could any cat be happy being trapped like that? That's basically just like being a kittypet, with extra steps. Now, are you coming with me, or not?"

Tallfern: [Burnet prods a sleeping Tall, who swats them away]. "Mmf...just a little longer..."

Mushroomkit (daughter, 2 moons): [Tackles Burnet with a squeal]. "Burnetshriek, Burnetshriek! C'mon, let's play!!! [...] What are our characters? Psh, who cares! I don't want to play pretend! I just want to battle!!!"

Tuftkit (son, 2 moons): [Tuftkit presses against Burnet's side, sound asleep. Burnet breathes in their milky scent, swearing to love them forever].

Continued on next part!

As for now, who are your suspicions on, and why do you suspect them?

And who is your favourite?

This family is getting to damn big...

#one of us is a killer #long post

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callunavulgari · 4 months

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Year In Life | 2023

Or that annual New Year’s meme where I talk about what the year was like to live through. 2023 features: a wedding (!!!), four (??) different trips (including the ridiculous two week long honeymoon in the PNW), and the death of a loved one.

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before? Took a trip to DC to see Joe Hisaishi live! Saw the natural history museum! Visited the PNW and saw: Mt Rainier, the redwoods, the most northwestern point of the US, Seattle, the Hoh rainforest including the Hall of Mosses, Lake Crescent, Forks, Crater Lake, Portland, the remnants of wildfires, a little place called Wild Pear with the best butternut squash soup I've had in my entire life, another little place that I can't remember the name of but had a sherpa stew that will warm my soul until death, and San Francisco! Saw the ghoul boys for Ghost Files Live! Went back to Vegas and saw U2 in the sphere! Planned a wedding! Had a bachelorette weekend! Oh, and yeah, GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My resolution for 2023 was to be HAPPY. And you know what? I fucking was. Other than the INTENSE anxiety of planning the wedding, 2023 treated me gently. My wedding day was singlehandedly the most blissful day of my entire life. I thought it was going to be a shit show, but goddamn if it wasn't perfect. So YES, I kept my new years resolution. And yes, I will make more for next year.

Resolutions for 2024 - Be happy and healthy. Eat good food. Doordash less, cook more. Exercise. Go on daily walks, even if they're short. Get dressed (almost) every day. Brush your teeth. Write 50k of sad ghost girl (or another original idea). Attend a pottery class. Also, cough, buy a house?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I don't think so? A couple facebook friends. One of my bridesmaids is due next year though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother passed this year on the last day of our honeymoon. I got the news on a beach in San Francisco. My dad texted me a time of death. I was fine emotionally for the most part at first, she's had dementia for seven years and I'd said my goodbyes the last time that we visited. I was fine. FINE. And then Nick, thirteen days my husband, twelve years my partner, tentatively asked if I wanted to buy some flowers and toss them in the bay.

I cried. Not hard. But it broke something loose, something that saw the beauty of that place- waves lapping against the shores, the golden gate bridge looming in the distance, two little boys making sandcastles while a guy with a saxophone played for tourists closer to the street. I wanted to scream. As loudly as I could. Just to see if it would make a difference. I didn't. I wept quietly, shielded by my sunglasses, Nick holding my hand next to me and stared out at a bay that she'd never seen before, that she never would.

And then I shook my shoulders out and we went to go meet up for the sunset sail on the bay, which I'd booked since it was our last night. Something special. I didn't want to miss it, not on our last night. It was pretty, but bitterly cold because fog moved in when we neared Alcatraz and just wouldn't quit. The sunset was lovely. I was queasy from the rocking of the sailboat. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

I didn't cry again, not at the funeral, not at the small celebration of life afterwards. It hurts in a different way, I think, mourning the death of someone who has been lost to you for so many years while their body lingers on. I looked back at old facebook posts from when she was still her, when she wrote letters on my wall because she didn't understand how messenger worked. She was the third of four sisters, all gone before her. She used to have so many friends and so few people showed to the funeral. It would have made her sad to see, I think.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries. We nearly booked our honeymoon to Portugal, but turns out weddings are expensive and I managed to do two weeks in the PNW for half the cost. I will say though that I have wanted to visit the west coast for years, so I am incredibly glad that we went. My favorite of all of the places that we went is a tie between Mt Rainier and Crater Lake. One- the pull of a mountain is legit. I grew up with the Appalachians, but goddamn, it doesn't prepare you for the sight of something Like Mt Rainier. Two- nobody effing told me that Crater Lake was THAT blue. The water, brilliant blue. The sky, brilliant blue. The air, crisp. The rest of it, PACKED with chipmunks. It was amazing. The whole trip was, but damn.

Some highlights-

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023? My answer to this last year was a husband. And like, CHECKMARK there. For 2024, and I know that this is dreaming big, but we are going to try - TRY - to buy a house this year. We will have to see how that goes.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 26th 2023. ❤️ 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I married my best friend. And I also survived the wedding planning process, christ. I mean don't get me wrong, the day was great, it was beautiful, wouldn't change it for the world. But sometimes I think that I should have saved myself the stress and eloped somewhere.

9. What was your biggest failure? Eh, I mean I didn't lose the weight that I wanted for the wedding, but I'm not going to hold that against me. I bought a dress that I felt pretty in with the size I was at rather than the one I wanted to be and I do not regret that. I did a lot of weightlifting and I'm strong enough to do squats with Nick on my back, so that's progress enough for now. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? We got covid again coming back from our honeymoon, which was less than ideal. Mask up in the giant metal tubes, friends.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I'm honestly blanking on this right now. We bought a ton of stuff for the wedding, so... that? I got some neat stuff at farmers markets. I treated myself to good headphones and a proper stand for my computer. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Honestly? Nick's mom. We had a falling out years and years ago and while we've had a steady truce going since about 2016-2017 or so, I always feel like we're on thin ice. She's a bit of a narcissist, she holds grudges, and honestly, I'm pretty sure that she'd despise anyone that Nick or his brother ended up with. She does not like other women.

But. She behaved herself for the wedding. There were a couple small things- she almost made our bartenders cry because they mixed up our drink packages (they fixed it, it wasn't a big deal, we had NA drinks leftover from the rehearsal the night before and they went to get more) and her dress was a pale enough pink that it showed up in all of the pictures as white, but you know what? It's a win. She seemed genuinely happy during the wedding. She didn't start shit or make a fool of herself. It was just nice.

Who knows what the future has in store on this front, but for now? I'm taking it as a win and moving on. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? So, my mother, stepfather, and both of my brothers didn't show up to the wedding. It... wasn't exactly unexpected and when it comes down to it both my sister and I were relieved that my mom wasn't there. If she had been I guarantee the day wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did.

But I was upset that my brothers couldn't be there. They had legitimate reasons, but it still hurt. So not appalled so much, but definitely sad.

14. Where did most of your money go? Ha. Ha ha ha. Weddings are fucking expensive. We set a budget that would have been completely and totally reasonable if we'd had the wedding prior to 2020. And then we got to actually do the research and realized that our budget was laughably impossible. We had help from Nick's mom and his grandparents, but goddamn, every time I think of how much money was sunk into one day I want to vomit. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The WEDDING. The HONEYMOON. Mt Rainier! Crater Lake! The redwoods! And then, y'know, on a smaller scale: seeing Joe Hisaishi in concert, seeing the Beatles show in Vegas again, getting to do a spooky little autumn drive to see the ghoul boys live. Books. I got a whimsical little tattoo with a flying whale and a castle in the sky.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023? Stand By Me. Paradise Valley. Hello Stranger. Glasgow Love Theme. The Spiritfarer soundtrack. A million Miley Cyrus (?) songs. Eat Your Young. Green Green Grass.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. So much happier. ii. thinner or fatter? Same size, I think? More muscle, but the scale is the same. iii. richer or poorer? Uh, probably either poorer or around the same. We've recovered a bit from the wedding, but it's been rough. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I genuinely do wish that I'd taken better care of myself. My blood pressure has been up, I've been having more heart palpitations, more brain fog, more headaches. And I mean, I did weight lifting, great. But I do genuinely need to eat better. I need to lose weight not because I hate how I look, but because I have sleep apnea and can't tolerate the CPAP, which means that if I don't lose weight or get my tonsils removed my blood pressure will continue to spike until I die. So. Weight loss IS a legitimate goal this year, because it is necessary.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being an anxious mess about the wedding? I mean that's easy to say now that it's in the rearview, but the ABSURD spikes of adrenaline that I would get just from thinking about the day could NOT have been healthy.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? For Christmas Eve, we honestly just kind of lounged around. We watched a movie. Made the most mouthwatering slow-cooked beef tenderloin that I splurged on from the local butcher. Opened our one present and proceeded to not read them OR make hot chocolate.

For Christmas Day, we opened our gifts, opened the cat's gifts, then went and had Christmas at Nick's aunt's house. Other than his cousin getting engaged to someone that the entire family hates, it went well. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? We spent it inside. I made a pasta bake while Nick made the pirozki. Unfortunately, I didn't take enough lactaid to counteract the sheer amount of cheese in the pasta so I spent the hours leading up to midnight feeling NOT well, and then we drank sparkling water out of some fancy glasses instead of the wine I bought. 22. Did you fall in love in 2023? Okay, so it sounds trite, but yes? I mean, obviously I've been in love with him since 2012. But I don't know. It's different? I feel more at peace with it. Yes, I love him, but he picked me. We picked each other forever and then swore it in front of all of our favorite people. I didn't expect it to feel much different, and I mean, it's still mostly the same. We sleep in the same bed, we eat the same food, we love the same cats, we kiss each other, we make stupid fart jokes. But it's different. At least a little bit. 23. Best month for you this year? End of August/early September was amazing, mostly because of the trip (and the wedding). <This was my answer last year and the year before, but it still holds true, for obvious reasons.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2022? All right, so, favorites in (mostly) chronological order: Owl House season 3, Lockwood and Co, The Last of Us, Russian Doll season 2, Shadow and Bone season 2, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, Vox Machina season 2, The Diplomat, Queer Eye, Wheel of Time season 2, Interview with the Vampire, Fionna and Cake, The Fall of the House of Usher, Scavengers Reign, Loki season 2, Castlevania: Noctourne, Yu Yu Hakusho live action, One Piece live action, Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Of those, over all my favorite was Loki, hands down. The ENDING was just some of the best cinema I've seen at Marvel in YEARS. The score! UGH, it was perfection. Owl House season 3 was a close second.

Of just 2023, though? Probably Fionna and Cake. We honestly loved it so much. I think I ended up liking it more than I ever did Adventure Time.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No hate! Well, at least no one that I know. At this point every active politician could get struck down by lightning and I would mourn very few of them.

26. What was the best book you read? Ugh, there were so many bangers this year. Honestly probably a tie between Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow and Tress and the Emerald Sea.

Honorable mentions: Starling House, A Power Unbound, A Day of Fallen Night, and Thistlefoot.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hozier's new album has been a big part of my top 50. Oh, Epic the Musical has been an effing joy!

28. What did you want and got? A husband? Yeah, I'm gonna go with that. A husband. It's still weird to say.

29. What did you want but didn’t get? Ummmmmmmm, it's hard to say a honeymoon in Portugal because I am over the moon and not unappreciative of what we did do. But. I do REALLY wish that I'd gotten to see Portugal.

And on a more somber note, before we realized that my grandma was getting too bad to attend the wedding, I'd planned a dance with her. She always used to sing My Heart Will Go On to me when I was little, and I just, really wanted to have that. Instead, I played it for her the day that I said my goodbyes and showed her a picture of my dress. It was hard, but it was enough.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I rewatched Lord of the Rings approximately a million times this year. Honestly most of the movies I DID watch were rewatches in some way or another. I loved Across the Spiderverse, the new Persuasion movie, and Nimona. Oh, and I watched Suzume in April and the Boy and the Heron for my birthday. All of those were amazing. Absolute top favorite was probably Suzume. Nimona is VERY close though. Same with Across the Spiderverse.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34 this year! Which is great because I've had this whole weird thing where I was convinced that I would die at 33 since I was around 7 years old, so turning 34 was very nice. I did splurge a bit this year. We went to the Yuletide Village on Friday, which is basically the grounds for the Renaissance Festival done up in Christmas lights. I got to see Krampus! And Mari Lwyd! And drink hot cocoa! And buy a REALLY cool coat.

And then as if all that wasn't enough, on my actual birthday we booked a room at the bed and breakfast that our wedding was held at because they're selling it soon. We had good cheese and wine, got to revisit the pine chapel and dance all alone to our first dance song, then had dinner and walked around a lit up Granville. And then went back to our room at the B&B and did CENSORED things in my wedding dress (look, we were too tired that night and I had a fractured foot, it was a crazy day - leave me alone) and Nick surprised me with a birthday cake from the baker that we got our wedding cake from. It was nice. The breakfast the next morning was amazing.

And then we went to see The Boy and the Heron and had a relaxing Sunday. So you know, not a big deal at all. Definitely a far cry from last year where I, oh yes, covered for a coworker and then had to go to a company party at a restaurant that I hate.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hm. Still Mal. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? Hahaha, my hybrid job turned into a completely remote job. Which is great in theory, but means that I spent most of 2023 in my pajamas without a bra. When I WASN'T in my pajamas, I tended towards jeans and t-shirts/sweaters. One of our friends got married in July though and I got to wear the COOLEST dress. 34. What kept you sane? Nick, usually. Rigby has been a huge help too. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? It was a good year for Hozier, imo. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? I have had “fuck Donald Trump” as the answer to this question since 2015. And for the first time in half a decade… it’s not him. It’s all the problems he left behind. So I guess it is still at least a LITTLE bit “FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789 2023″

Actual answer to this question though - Gaza. Ukraine. And to a lesser extent- all of the bullshit corporate stooges trying to use AI to replace real workers. Also getting legitimately nervous about next year. Though Ohio DID turn out and voted to: not let the republicans fuck with majority rules, protect abortion rights, and legalized recreational marijuana. So, small wins, I guess.

37. Who did you miss? Mal. My brothers. My grandma. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I met this REALLY cool chick at the place I get my hair done. We bonded over her playing Zelda lofi in the hairwashing room and geeked out over Tears of the Kingdom. She's so freaking cool and I want to be her friend.

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Other than her... I don't think I made any?

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year: Technically from January 1st 2023 because I'm 90% sure that it was taken after midnight. We went to an INSANE warehouse party to ring in the New Year last year and were out much later than I wanted to be.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year From December 15th - which is apparently just the day that I get my hair done now. Since the wedding is over I finally committed to coloring my hair for the first time since 2020. It was long overdue and am excited to cut it short in the spring, but I actually think this is the first haircut where I miss the long hair?

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Oh my GOD, that sherpa stew. We obviously had a lot of good food on our trip. Piroshky Piroshky was my favorite highlight from Pike's Place and then there was a restaurant in Salem, Oregon that had the BEST butternut squash soup and pulled pork that I have ever had. It was amazing. I would go back to Oregon for this soup alone.

But that sherpa stew. It cups my heart in its soupy little fist.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? Honestly, there were a lot of great moments this year. Obviously the wedding was the highlight, but the rest of it was pretty great too. The night of the Joe Hisaishi concert it stormed as the concert was finishing and since the venue was mostly outdoors, everyone got soaked. It was magical. The honeymoon highlights - the breathtaking awe of Mt Rainier, the beauty of the golden rays of the setting sun in the Hall of Mosses, the SIZE and GRANDNESS of Crater Lake. The drive up to Michigan to see Ghost Files live, how the drive there was this perfect little time capsule of autumn in the midwest, stormclouds on the horizon and corn fields all around us. The day after, when we stopped into Ann Arbor to visit the cherry store that's only in Michigan, how I found the BEST possible boots at a little store. How we found another amazing little independent book store just down the street. The way Nick's mom looked after the Cirque du Soleil Beatles show, where she turned to me and said that it was her best birthday ever. Dancing alone in the pavilion where we had our reception, crooning the song to each other in the dark while the lights from the pine chapel twinkled warmly at us from 20 feet away, beckoning.

And the wedding. Obviously the wedding.

The night before, where we had a private little ceremony at the stroke of midnight, there in the dark, nightsong all around us. Just us, our officiant, his brother, and my sister and her husband. My hair was damp and frizzy from the heat, from the helter skelter of the rehearsal earlier. He was in a t-shirt and slacks that were almost highwaters. But we read our vows to each other, sealed it with a kiss.

August 26th, 12:02am. A secret, just for us. Our siblings sworn to secrecy.

And then the next day, the note that was slipped under our door from our dear friend who officiated the wedding (both public and private), written on a torn bit of notebook paper: "May today be the first chaotic day of joy in a shared life full of chaotic joy." The breakfast: dutch baby with caramelized apples, sausage links, orange juice, earl grey. Watching Annie put together bouquets at the coffee table next to the kitchen. Going to work, putting tables together. Called back to the house, hair and makeup. Granola bars one and two. My girls singing Chapel of Love to me in the bridal suite, the swell of emotion in my heart - these are my people, they love me, they're so happy. First look, Nick's eyes, his smile. So familiar, that first almost wary glint, scared to look, scared he'll mess it up in front of the photographers, the way he smiled when he saw me, wide and real, almost a laugh, then the way it curled, lopsided, a bashful tilt to his mouth as he said my name. A hug. A moment of peace before the storm. A preying mantis on the porch railing, bumblebees buzzing around my skirt. Will I remember them in twenty years? In thirty?

Fast, fast, everything goes so fast afterwards. Separate. First look with dad, with girls, line up for the walk down the aisle, careful of the puddle. Listen for One Summers Day - they didn't get the song right and are playing the orchestral version instead of the piano. Instead of soft and sweet, there's brass in the pines, french horns ushering us to our spots. Wait wait, start walking - wedding party first. My dad is nervous next to me, he keeps fidgeting. Girls and groomsmen gone, glasgow love theme starts. I'm practically dragging my dad down the aisle. Annie warned me that everyone would stand, but it still catches me by surprise. Look up, bouquet tilted just so, don't trip on the roots. I don't even look at our guests, I don't check to see if my side looks lopsided without my family there, my eyes are on him, on Annie. My heart - I feel.

Ceremony goes fast. Seth reads Pablo Neruda. Tanya reads Neil Gaiman. My eyes are wet, I blink the tears back. Handfasting cords tied loosely, begin to get anxious about how I'm going to put the ring on with my hand tied, but Annie's already removing them. I put the ring on the wrong hand, a hot flash of shame gone in seconds, kiss kiss kiss- time for bubbles, walk.

Pictures. So many pictures. Go to bustle dress, granola bar 3. I choke on it. Back to the reception, big entrance. Too queasy to eat much, I picked at the bread, at the salad, at the chicken. Drank a ginger ale, left my martini untouched. Cake cutting, burst of sugar on the tongue, still queasy. Dancing soon - will I get it wrong? First dance- spun me a little too hard, but we laughed. I didn't feel the eyes on us. I fixed his glasses when they slipped down his nose, everyone laughed. Father-daughter dance, was it a mistake? Should have practiced, should have figured out how dads and daughters dance. Swayed. He kept me talking. Kept my mind off my nerves. Looking back on the wedding footage, everyone was crying. Mother-son dance, more tears. The sheer emotional whiplash of going from Baby Mine to Click Click Boom - but it's what his mom wanted, wanted to have the wedding party do the bernie. Cringy, but fine, we'll do it.

Group selfie on the dance floor, first couples dance dedicated to his grandparents - their anniversary was two days previous, so I found out what their song was and had the DJ play it for them. His grandpa cried. His grandma cried. I cried. The photographer cried. Next slow song, it's the song one of our groomsmen got married to - his wife already left, more tears because he's alone at the head table. Pulled away, golden hour photos. A dream. Beautiful. So queasy. Go back to the house to pee, almost vomit into the toilet, nearly black out. More photos. A moment of peace in the pines - they rickrolled everyone without me.

Dancing, how did I dance so much? Photographers leave. They're playing all my favorites now that we're back, too much dancing, need to sit down. Forgot about the bouquet toss, need to do it while I have the energy. So many people have left - make it gender neutral, get people up there. Whoever wants a bouquet. My best friend catches the bouquet. I hurl myself at her and almost take us to the ground. More dancing - where is Nick? Smoking cigars with his brother. More dancing. Someone gives me a martini, but I can only drink a few sips. So tired, my foot hurts, but another two hours to go.

We sing - Bohemian Rhapsody, Take On Me, The Time of My Life. Should we be embarrassed? Too happy. Sit, talk, make the rounds. More dancing.

Winding down. It's time, last two dances. Piano Man, the DJ makes everyone get in a ring around us, it's embarrassing, but god I'm so happy. Last dance, just us. Paradise Valley, crooning quietly to each other in the dark. Tears on my cheeks. On his. A kiss, no one can see, this one is just us.

Goodbyes, see you laters, can't find my phone, someone took it, need to find the phone, need to sit, need to get out of this stupid dress, my foot hurts. Bridesmaids taking charge, have things torn down and presentable in thirty minutes flat. More goodbyes, limp across the field with a groomsmen, still can't find my phone. Find my phone, take off the jewelry, get close to crying. Someone helps me upstairs? Or maybe I did it myself. Realize I can't get the dress off on my own. Think about crying. Foot hurts, why does it hurt so much? Officiant finds me, helps me take off my shoes. Unbuttons my dress for me, leaves it half on so she can figure out what's wrong with my foot. Oh, almost go into shock, oh, it's fractured. Go to the doctor? Honeymoon is in two days. She massages my aching shoulders, my feet. It's embarrassing, but she's an OT, she doesn't want me in pain.

Nick finds us, tired and drooping, but happy. Annie leaves. Sleep now? Yes, sleep. Hurting and more exhausted than we've ever been, but fuck, so happy. Such a good day. We did good.

44. What are you excited for next year? I am incredibly excited to no longer be planning a wedding. May buy a house. May go on a vacation. May quit my job. We'll see.

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023: My valuable life lesson in the year of 2020 was: Life sucks. Keep your head on straight. Mourn your dead and love your living like you’ll never see them again. Live life like you could die tomorrow. And don’t take the little things for granted.

And you know what, I’m going to keep that. I think it’s a good reminder.

46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: puff out your chest, take a deep breath you're gonna be okay if it's loud in your mind, just take your time you're gonna be okay - You're Gonna Be Okay, Ashh Blackwood

2018 me apparently quoted Singing in the Rain. 2019 quoted something sad and pretentious. 2020 me quoted This Year, because she was a dramatic bitch and hurting. 2021 me quoted an assurance that I wasn’t broken. 2022 me was tired and sad and just wanted to feel human again.

2023 me was a weird mess of anxiety, but mostly happy. The anxiety was a bitch, will always be a bitch. But this song kept me going.

#heather says what #year in review #2023 #new year's memes #tw: death #may have written an entirely too long stream of consciousness about the wedding #whoops

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charmixpower · 1 year

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Wooooo!! Big project finished!!

Yay me 🥳🥳 I thought I take this time to ramble a bit about my thought process with my designs (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠) Mostly because I didn't wanna yell all over the other posts and make them less rebloggable 😆

Imma post my sketches as visual aid so I'm not just posting my art again (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Paper sketches:

This whole project was partly inspired by StellaSolaris each girl's worst trait post, that's been living in my head rent free forever now. Taking the girls worst traits and using them to make dark faries more dynamics instead of just evil™ was something I have been always wanted to do, mostly because using dark faries as a way to explore the girls personalities is something that speaks to me!! It's just such a fun concept so I had to run with it

I use the Believix aesthetics for Charmix, so all the dark faries are Believix adjacent an that was intentional because I felt like I could do more with the Believix aesthetic over magic winx

If you can't tell, I had a vision™ for Bloom, Stella, and Tecna, (especially Bloom, kid core, homecoming dress, I knew what I was going for) while Musa, Aisha, and Flora absolutely ate me alive in the design process. It was so hard to get any ideas for their outfits

I couldn't fit Musa's chain in T-T it looked too weird

Bloom:

Bloom was absolutely the easiest, her dress is cute, she's cuter

I went kidcore with her makeup, loved to add the burns, didn't like the belt, I just loved the baby doll aesthetic. Fit the vibe of unhinged naive magical girlie perfectly

Stella:

Stella's whole outfit was supposed to accentuate her attention seeking behavior but like...it's not really that provocative T-T Musa has her whole ass panties out in s1, this ain't shit, but please take pity on me I didn't want to push it any further

Note her hair is also supposed to be so excessively long and lose that it's a huge liability in combat but it's also just her Enchantix hair T-T she's making things so difficult

She's the one that looks the least crazy, she just looks like she's having a fashion day™ and wanted to be extra and not like...a manifestation of her worst vain and inattentive nature T-T

At least her outfit looks cool as fucking shit, like drop dead gorgeous if I do say so my self

The symbol found on the final version of her outfit is the symbol for platinum, if you were curious

Flora:

I wanted to go for rotting corpse being reclaimed by nature, moss eating her outfit, eyes sunken in, but I don't think it came across well. I added lilys bc they're funeral flowers :)

Trying to get an outfit to represent Flora's defensive personality without making the outfit too heavyweight and evening-gown like was hard but I like the aesthetic. Hopefully I get it next time

Tecna:

I decided to uncover Tecna's face because Tecna's traits are uncompromising and head strong, so leaving everything but her head uncovered was a fun little refrence to that being her leading trait

That is the mercury symbol on her head, which is the alchemchemic symbol for the mind. I think it was a cute reference but I decided not to keep

(It also represents passive femininity and Tecna as a non-binary transfem matches that as well which is funky and fresh)

Tecna's wings were a struggle but they turned out so sexi that I'm so so so happy with them. Tecna weird ass wings 4 life I love u bby girl

Musa:

The only thing I had in mind for this was "Musa has a mental break down" that's it. Designing a mental break down outfit for a transform without going full Harely Quinn was a fuckin difficulty. That pants and top combo was pried out of my references in blood, the stockings were easy tho. Nothing says mental break down like fighting in fucked up stockings, running make-up, and fucked up bangs

Ren's comment about Musa having a mental break down and chopping her hair into the Believix style inspired this look, it spoke to me. I needed to give Musa "showing up at your ex's door at 3am in the rain with a pair of scissors" chic XD

She looks so cool, but gosh those pants were hard to draw

Aisha:

I put Aisha in a power suit because stubborn reminds me of the time I refused to wear a dress to homecoming and my mom called me stubborn XD I think she looks good in it :)

I've always wanted to give Aisha amphibian traits over fish traits, so that the Sea Andros that's cold blooded and land Andros that is warm blooded both look water-y but in different ways and I think axolotls are cool so this was me just trying them out lol

The water damage was so damn hard to draw because how do you draw water damage?? It's like worn out clothes??? I tried my best (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) she looks super cool tho

#rus chatters #rus doodles #i wrote this in my philosophy class while nursing a monster energy. if you see any spelling mistakes no you don't

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everysongineverykey · 1 year

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I posted 5,679 times in 2022

1,712 posts created (30%)

3,967 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wrightfamily

@jonathanrook

@you-can-always-come-home

@lieutenant-columbro

@neitherlightnordark

I tagged 4,490 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#deltarune - 260 posts

#dhmis - 147 posts

#don't hug me i'm scared - 114 posts

#the stanley parable - 113 posts

#undertale - 53 posts

#oh... - 38 posts

#star trek ds9 - 36 posts

#💙 - 34 posts

#snowgrave - 34 posts

#donations - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#who. wh. whooogohorowhwhwogoohowooebo💖💖❤💖💚💜💚💜💙💜💜💚💜❤💘💚💕💛💕💙💜💙💜💞💞💕💝💗💕💙💙💜💞💞💜💜💗💙💞💕❤💞💙💜💞💞💖💙💙💖💙💕

My Top Posts in 2022:

in a world where so much queer rep in big media is overly sanitized and watered down to the point where it's respectful but terribly boring as character writing due to writers being terrified of getting criticized for "bad queer rep", toby fox making a trans man who's a self-obsessed, fame-drunk, vainglorious trashy pop star (and also a tyrant in the king mettaton ending), a bi character who straight up accidentally turned a bunch of monsters into horrifying melty abominations and then locked them in her basement and didn't tell anyone about it for literal years before she learned that hiding from her mistakes was killing her and came clean, a lesbian who starts the game as an intimidating school bully and in whose first big moment we see her slam the main character against a wall and threaten to eat their face before she learns to open up and connect with and trust others, a trans woman who tries to kill you twice in the game and is always delightfully mean to everyone until she gets some understanding and the body she needs to be happy, a traumatized nonbinary kid who hated their own species so much they killed themself just to get their revenge and free monsters in death, and a nonbinary cat who has been through so much shit and is so nihilistic that at this point, if push came to shove and all looked lost for the heroes, they would be content to sit back and let the world end- i'm being totally serious. toby fox making those kinds of queer characters, making them messy and imperfect and scarred and letting them grow as people but still do terrible things as part of that process, that constitutes HEROISM

3,213 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

HELP???

3,622 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

kris dreemurr is so awesome. the protagonist ever. they eat moss. their best friends are a purple dragon lesbian and a goat with glasses. they do speedruns. they have their very own knife that belongs to them that everyone recognizes as kris' knife. they ripped out their soul and locked it in a cage and went all red-eyes-looking-at-the-camera-with-a-knife and then did literally nothing but eat an entire pie. they eat entire pies on a regular basis. they eat dog treats and lick book pages. they make their own bath bombs just to throw them in the toilet. they slashed their mum's car tires. they're even nonbinary

5,353 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

dhmis is great because imagine a series centered around three roommates living in a small incredibly isolated house in a story run by a strange omnipotent woman with unclear motivations who amuses herself by tormenting the roommates over and over again in various awful ways by dangling something new and exciting in front of their faces and then making it backfire horribly thus traumatizing them all and often maiming and killing them and they can't escape because they're nothing but puppets in her little show and they're chained to a narrative that will not let them go and one roommate is a naive kid with a sadistic father who traumatizes him horribly when he isn't neglecting him and also eats people and another roommate is almost aware of his situation but will never be able to save himself or his friends and is constantly rejected by his own kind and only wants to leave the tiny house but nothing, no one, will play along and the third roommate is caught in the middle, not a naive child but not quite meta aware, and thus is doomed to fall victim to the same traps over and over and also they're literally the only three people in their entire world besides the evil things that keep intruding in their home and terrorizing them and they can't call for help. ok and now imagine they look like this

6,077 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

if i were toby fox i would tweet "so honoured that megalovania was played in front of the pope yesterday! especially since i've always thought of sans as catholic" and then turn off my phone

32,323 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#this makes sense lmao #man. the longest tag... that was almost definitely columbo lol #and i was RIGHT <3

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hinterlost · 1 year

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Tag game!! Yay!!!!

I was tagged by @marythegizka !!!!!! <3

Share your wallpaper: its been a picture of this frog for like 5 years now. This is not my frog. But he be just like me fr.

The last song you listened to: End of the Line - Daft Punk

Currently reading: Do various SWTOR fics count?

Last Movie: Waking Life.

Craving: honestly atm corn nuts. Or some spicy corn chips.

What are you wearing right now? Housecoat. Maximum comfort.

How tall are you: recently had the horrible realization that I am in fact short.

Piercings: Septim and my ears but I never wear earrings my ears always get infected :(

Tattoos: Five! 4 in American traditional and one stick and poke.

Glasses? Contacts? Neither!

Last drink: Sparkling apple juice. I am an adult.

Last show: The Golden Girls

Last thing you ate: souuuup

Favorite color: GREEEEEEEEN

Current obsession: SWTOR

Unrelated obsession: Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Fallout, Halo, TES

Any pets: sadly no :( I'd really like a fish or something tho or like a moss garden. Maybe a frog.

Do you have a crush on anyone? Assuming fictional characters don't count. No.

Favorite fictional character: This is a hard one. All time though I've always been partial to SGT. Johnson from Halo. BOOHYAH

The last place you traveled: California. First time to America. I went to a McDonalds at 7 AM because they still use the good tasting scrambled eggs in America and I saw a man drinking hot sauce straight out of the bottle in the parking lot. He was shirtless. It was jarring. I should preface I didn't travel to America just to eat McDonalds but honestly compared to Canadian McDonalds I'd consider it. Also fuck airports and fuck flying. Why tf does it feel like that feeling of falling when you're falling asleep but you're awake and 30,000ft in the air. hate.

#tag game #still want corn nut #mmmmm corn nut #to nut or to not nut #I think I will nut #corn nut that is

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casspurrjoybell-29 · 6 months

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Healing Ties - Chapter 4

*Warning Adult Content*

Yore walked off in the direction of the border until he was well out of sight, then stripped out of his clothes, shifted and looped back around.

He knew the group that guarded this section of the border.

They would help him.

Yore had never visited Fyh's settlement before but his nose showed him the way.

He could see a large fire through the trees and could hear the sounds of laughter.

He sprinted in that direction and then slowed down as he got closer so that he wouldn't startle anyone.

A group of around a dozen satyrs were gathered around a massive bonfire.

They had the heads and torsos of humans and the legs and horns of goats.

They were all men.

Generally speaking, those who had been granted magic by the fae could only reproduce within their own kind but satyrs were an exception to this.

Women of all kinds were advised not to have sex with them.

Several of the satyrs were eating and drinking.

One of them was sitting against a tree, whittling something.

Another was fucking what appeared to be some sort of forest troll.

He was small, at least as far as trolls went, fat and had hair like moss.

Yore had never seen anything quite like it before but the troll seemed to be enjoying what was happening so he wouldn't question it.

"It's a fuckin' wolf," the satyr who was copulating with the troll shouted but he didn't stop what he was doing.

Yore commenced the painful process of shifting back into his human form.

He should have done it before making himself known.

He hadn't minded doing it in front of others before the incident when it used to be a fluid and effortless process but now it felt more vulnerable, more personal.

"No, it's a fuckin' werewolf," Fyh declared from where he sat, perched in a low tree branch. "What brings you our way, Yore?"

"I found a young mage within your territory. He's hurt."

Fyh frowned.

"Eh? Well, he's not ours."

"A Companion. Hair like gold. You don't know anything about him or how he ended up here?"

"Can't say I do but we'll take him off your hands if you like."

He tilted his head in the direction of the troll.

"We like guests."

Some of the others laughed.

There was nothing malicious about it but Yore got the feeling the mage wouldn't have appreciated this crowd.

"No. Mages need to be around humans or other mages to keep themselves healthy. I need to get him back to the others as soon as possible."

"Ah, right," Fyh said.

"Well, you can bring him on over here and we can give you food and bed for the night, have someone check him over. We'd love to have you. You ever fuck in wolf form?"

Yore decided to ignore that last part.

"I'm worried he might have been planted within the border as a spy. Until I know any tracking chips and anything else that might have been planted on him have been disabled, I don't want him to see or hear anything I wouldn't be comfortable with an enemy human knowing about."

"You're a boring man, Yore," Fyh told him. "All right, then, how can we help you? What do you need?"

"Supplies," Yore said. "I don't have anything with me to trade for them but you can consider it a pack debt and we'll make good on it at the next meeting of the council."

Fyh laughed.

"You've got all you need to pay me right here with you."

Yore held his gaze.

"I'd rather not, thank you."

"It wouldn't take long, I promise you that." Fyh waved a hand before Yore could object again. "Nah, you don't want to. That's fine. What supplies do you need?"

"Food and water, clean bandages and if you have any kind of sleeping mats or blankets that are suitable for travel, that would be great."

Fyh snapped his fingers at one of the other satyrs and that satyr immediately stood and scampered off.

"He'll get the stuff for you. And don't worry about any debts. He's in our territory so this is our problem really and we don't know any mages or humans so dealing with it without you woulda been a pain. Guess we coulda just shoved him back over the border for the humans to deal with, but fuck those bastards."

"Not all humans are bad, you know. I know some good ones."

"Yeah?" Fyh asked.

He didn't sound convinced.

"Come visit us some time and I'll introduce you to a man named Hamish. He'd appreciate your style of fun."

"Huh, well, maybe. A human's gotta be about the most boring thing to fuck I can think of but I've never done it before and I like to try everything."

"You'll love him. Trust me."

"If you say so," Fyh said. "How's that whole revolution thing going, by the way? You're all tangled up in that, aren't you?"

"Slow and steady so far but it'll hit a boiling point eventually. We can all feel it coming. We're not as hidden as we used to be and we've freed enough slaves that we're starting to be seen as a genuine threat. The day's going to come when they're more afraid of letting us keep doing what we're doing than they are of marching across the border."

"A lot of people are going to be angry about you driving them to that."

"Are you?"

Fyh let out a bark of laughter.

"Fuck no. That's a mistake humans have to make at least once a generation to remind them why they don't do it. Wonder how long they'd even last over here if nobody went to fight them before they pissed off a wyvern or wandered into the swamps. Fuckers should be grateful we let them have their safe little area to live in."

"It depends how big of an army they can gather, I guess. I've seen inside their military camps, fought alongside them against vampires. You're right that they don't know much about what's on this side of the border but I think they're more capable than you might assume."

"Yeah, well, they can face my bow if they decide to come anywhere near my territory. We'll keep an eye out for anyone who comes looking for that slave of yours, too. They cross that border, they die."

Fyh sounded like he was almost hoping they'd give him the chance.

Yore wasn't nearly as bloodthirsty.

Perhaps having human friends had softened him to them but he didn't think he'd ever been all that keen on killing.

It was sometimes necessary but he found no satisfaction in it.

The satyr who Fyh had sent off scampered back, a surprisingly large backpack and two bedrolls in his arms.

"Got that stuff for you."

Yore opened up the bag and took a quick look inside.

He could see bandages and something wrapped in cloth that smelled like smoked venison on top, so he assumed his instructions had been followed.

"Thank you," Yore said as he shouldered the bag. "And Fyh, I know you said that I don't owe you anything but I appreciate this and I will remember it."

Fyh waved a dismissive hand.

"It's no problem but maybe you'll pay us a visit when you have a bit more time and you'll take me up on my offer?"

"Hmm," Yore said as he turned to leave.

That was unlikely but not for the reasons Fyh might think.

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