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#35:40 into episode 7 stress tested
dabidagoose · 4 months
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THE LITTLE SCROLLY SIDEBAR LIKE IT'S A VIDEO GAME I'M SCREAMING
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jessicamdawn · 2 years
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I posted 2,734 times in 2022
That's 2,601 more posts than 2021!
35 posts created (1%)
2,699 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@seekingidlewild
@itwasyummy
@kaylizle
@sherokutakari
@kashidoodles
I tagged 1,343 of my posts in 2022
#thai drama - 619 posts
#not me the series - 288 posts
#kinnporsche - 181 posts
#kdrama - 159 posts
#jdrama - 109 posts
#bad buddy - 73 posts
#extraordinary attorney woo - 72 posts
#not me white - 56 posts
#not me yok - 53 posts
#not me sean - 51 posts
Longest Tag: 91 characters
#the bravest thing in the world is being able to tell someone you’re sad or lonely or scared
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Just passed the 20k mark in this Clone!White Not Me AU fic
Feels like a milestone
Officially a Long Fic
6 notes - Posted April 21, 2022
#4
Wednesday, I had a slight sore throat that persisted throughout the day. Since I had other symptoms of dehydration, we figured it was that and I drank A LOT of water and by the time I went to sleep, it didn’t hurt.
Thursday, my throat hurts worse and only sucking on medicated cough drops helps (which also NUMBED MY TONGUE, I thought I’d lost my sense of taste, y’all. I freaked out.) I had a slight cough and slight headache.
Friday, my sore throat was gone, poof. But! lots of sinus drainage, leading to more coughing, And a slight headache that got worse over the day (ended up taking a migraine pill cause it got so bad. was probably a major tension headache from the stress of being ill in some way.)
Saturday, my throat feels fine until suddenly I HACK. It’s like when your body overreacts to an allergen, where even the smallest thing makes you sneezy or itchy or w/e. The smallest thing tickles my throat and I start coughing (that ‘smallest thing’ being so much nasal drainage, or, you know, bread.)
I was coughing so much I started timing it and realized that, if I’m distracted, I can go 5-6 minutes between coughs, but if there’s no distraction, I cough every 40-50 seconds. So some part of it is psychosomatic. The cough is also worse when lying down.
Now it’s 11 PM and I’m congested enough I need to stack pillows to sleep. While I don’t think it’s COVID (my mom was sick first and tested herself and it came back negative), I’ve still been wearing a mask around any other people and sequestering myself when possible.
Please send well wishes and good prayers my way.
7 notes - Posted July 16, 2022
#3
Chapters: 3/12 Fandom: เขา...ไม่ใช่ผม | Not Me (TV 2021) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sean/White, Dan/Yok, Black/Gram, Eugene/Namo, Gram & Gumpa & Sean & White & Yok Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Clones, Clone!White, White is not Black's twin but his clone, becoming a person, Self-Reflection, Vigilantism, Illegal Activities, disability rights, Rule of Law, Mental Link, Physical Link, Falling In Love, SeanWhite's real ship name should be TrustFall Chapter Summary:
White takes part in his first acts of vigilantism with the gang, working for disability rights. In the aftermath, he experiences a violent episode that leaves him gasping and certain he has just drowned on dry land. Concerned, Gumpa insists White stay with him at the garage. Now roommates with Sean, White begins to see a new side of his hotheaded teammate.
11 notes - Posted May 13, 2022
#2
Things My Sister Said While I Showed Her “Not Me” Episodes 7-9:
- Todd is sus. Todd is sus when he breathes.
- Sus hair. Sus smile.
- All I hear is -flirt- Officer- we're so wrong for each other. but so right. -passion- flirt-
- I don’t know if I even know what happened in the scene. I think I was having a stroke. It was beautiful.
- Sean is like 'fuck. omg. breathe.’ touching. more touching. went from the knee to the arm. face. this is what friends do. ear. how is sean not freaking out?
- Hey, Google. Call Sus Todd
- Todd’s soy milk is sus
- stfu. I’m dying. I’m screaming. kiss him. fuck. KISS HIM. YES!
- I feel like one of those posts that's like "Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever seen two ex-enemies doing a trust fall and kissing on a rooftop before?"
- Todd is at fault until I say otherwise. Guilty until proven innocent.
- I'm expecting Black to come back and everyone is like "ew. Where's the other guy?"
- (Black slapped White) 😶 Kill him.
11 notes - Posted May 3, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Given that both White and Sean do a trust fall to prove their deep trust in the other, and that Sean uses a trust fall to prove that Black is not his Black, I suggest that their ship name is not “SeanWhite” or “WhiteSean,” but “TrustFall.”
15 notes - Posted April 7, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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lilypixels · 3 years
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...............all of them.....?
It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
Teacupsss
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
Lollipops
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
Uhhh cotton candy
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
I’m for all but sports lol
7. earbuds or headphones?
Earbuds
8. movies or tv shows?
Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them
12. name of your favorite playlist?
Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)
13. lanyard or key ring?
Hmm...I guess lanyard?
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
Skittles or twizzlers
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart
18. ideal weather?
Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine
19. sleeping position?
On my side most often
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
Phone and notebook
21. obsession from childhood?
Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc
22. role model?
Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)
23. strange habits?
Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-
24. favorite crystal?
Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone
25. first song you remember hearing?
Circle of Life maybe who knows xD
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
...stay inside where it’s warm
28. five songs to describe you?
Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd
29. best way to bond with you?
Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺
30. places that you find sacred?
For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes
32. top five favorite vines?
I never,,,watched these,,,
33. most used phrase in your phone?
“Yes”...?
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
State Farm and McDonald’s, always
35. average time you fall asleep?
10-11...usually...
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
Suitcase
38. lemonade or tea?
Easy, tea
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
...neither
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think
41. last person you texted?
My mom
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
Hoodie or cardigan
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
Fantasy
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷
47. favorite type of cheese?
Mozzarella
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD
51. current stresses?
Homework vs free time e-e
52. favorite font?
I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk
53. what is the current state of your hands?
My hands...? They’re fine ??
54. what did you learn from your first job?
How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol
56. favorite tradition?
I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
“I’m too tired for this.”
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”
62. seven characters you relate to?
Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠
Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)
63. five songs that would play in your club?
Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd
64. favorite website from your childhood?
Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg
65. any permanent scars?
Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...
66. favorite flower(s)?
Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses
67. good luck charms?
I don’t think I have any...
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
Lemon
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves
70. left or right handed?
Right
71. least favorite pattern?
Lolll animal print I think
72. worst subject?
Physics...the worst science
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
6...?
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
A succulent probably
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
Neither ew
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
They are both about equally terrible
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
Earth
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
Fireflies
82. pc or console?
I am on pc side now
83. writing or drawing?
Writing
84. podcasts or talk radio?
Podcasts I guess
84. barbie or polly pocket?
Barbie
85. fairy tales or mythology?
Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol
86. cookies or cupcakes?
Hm...cupcakes
87. your greatest fear?
Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily
88. your greatest wish?
World peace🥲
89. who would you put before everyone else?
My mom maybe...?
90. luckiest mistake?
I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol
91. boxes or bags?
Boxes
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting
93. nicknames?
Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)
94. favorite season?
Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most
95. favorite app on your phone?
Let’s go with twitter
96. desktop background?
It is a moriarty and gang pic
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
2: mine and my moms
98. favorite historical era?
Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time
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shrimpcolour · 4 years
Note
Answer all 1-92!
yep yep THANK UUUUUUUUUU
1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
absolutely not
 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? 
absolutely not
3. Have you taken someones virginity? 
absolutely not
4. Is trust a big issue for you?
yes i think i keep things to myself
 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
no bc of the rona
 6. What are you excited for? 
quarantine to be over 
7. What happened tonight? 
i am going through it lmaoo
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
i really think this question is gross no i dont care 
 9. Is confidence cute? 
confidence is cute as fuck
10. What is the last beverage you had? 
water, shockingly 
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 
one? maybe?
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? 
yes but i dont wear them unless nothing else is clean
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? 
probably play craft and cry
14. What are you going to spend money on next? 
dunkin donuts baebyyyy
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? 
yessirrrr
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
yes i think that i will be happier 
 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? 
my friend beenal i trust her with everything 
18. The last time you felt broken? 
right now as i type
19. Have you had sex today?
no 
 20. Are you starting to realize anything? 
that i cant handle being alone for a long time without starting to spiral
21. Are you in a good mood? 
im starting to get out of a shitty mood
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? 
i almost did one time when i was younger i was supposed to swim w super tiny sharks at disney but then i freaked tf out and bailed 
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? 
no 
24. What do you want right this second? 
a hug from jillie
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
goodbye thanks for letting me know but bye
 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? 
no it is darker rn
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
no that is boring thank jah jillie is funny 
 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
the fact that someone from vietnam with a windows 8 phone is trying to hack my email
 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? 
yes jillie so much
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
yes second chances are good and important (obviously not for certain scenarios)
 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? 
i dont hate him he just annoys me 
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? 
i hope she does 
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? 
no i only drink mcdonalds sprite and i hate coke and that stuff
34. Listening to? 
a criminal minds episode
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? 
yes all the time
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
yes i do it was at jillies
 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? 
no i do not i think it is gradual 
38. Who did you last call? 
i joined a zoom call for like four seconds today but then i left bc i hate myself KJLSJHFJLKHF
39. Who was the last person you danced with? 
my team 
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
hopefully bc she loves me
 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? 
today!! my mom made them
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
no i havent done that since i was a baby
 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? 
every day baebyyy
44. Do you tan in the nude? 
i dont even like showering naked or tanning at all
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? 
yes but not because of who it was with but because it was awkkk
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? 
no i fell asleep at around 11 am and i just kinda KOed
47. Who was the last person to call you? 
jillie a couple days ago
48. Do you sing in the shower? 
no i dance KASLHJLKA
49. Do you dance in the car?
you fucking know it
 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? 
no but it seems so cool
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 
uhhh never???
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
no i think that they are happy
 53. Is Christmas stressful? 
extremely
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
i have but i am not a fun
 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
apple baby apple
 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
i wanted to be hannah montana so bad. not even a rockstar i deadass wanted to be H E R 
 57. Do you believe in ghosts?
i sure do 
 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
a lot of the time it makes me nervy
 59. Take a vitamin daily?
no only when i have some
 60. Wear slippers? 
no mostly just socks
61. Wear a bath robe?
no but they give off bad bitch vibes
 62. What do you wear to bed? 
sweatpants and a hoodie when cold short and a sports bra when hot
63. First concert? 
hannah montana/miley cyrus and she flew above the crowd on a motorcycle
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
wwwwalmart baeby
 65. Nike or Adidas?
nike
 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? 
fritos but both are gross
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
sunflower seeds i hate everything peanut
 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? 
lover
69. Ever take dance lessons? 
im on a competitve team my guy
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
i have a “joke” that i am marrying an orthodontist so yes
 71. Can you curl your tongue? 
i can but i cant do the clover thing 
72. Ever won a spelling bee? 
no i suck at spelling LMAO i used to cheat on spelling tests in elementary school
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
i have i also cry when i get overly excited 
 74. What is your favorite book?
farenheit 451 
 75. Do you study better with or without music? 
i dont study
76. Regularly burn incense? 
no i dont
77. Ever been in love? 
yes
78. Who would you like to see in concert? 
HOZIER i would die
79. What was the last concert you saw? 
ed sheeran 
80. Hot tea or cold tea?
hot tea 
 81. Tea or coffee? 
coffee 
82. Favorite type of cookie?
oatmeal honestly it kinda slaps 
 83. Can you swim well?
no i really do be sucking at swimming my dad and a lifeguard had to get me out of the ocea once
 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 
yes? can people not>
85. Are you patient? 
i dont really know??
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? 
dj type beat 
87. Ever won a contest? 
yes i won a constume contest at a dance party once
88. Ever have plastic surgery? 
nope
89. Which are better black or green olives? 
ummmmmmmm neither 
90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
will be participating in it but fri dont give a care if u fuck before u get married
 91. Best room for a fireplace? 
living room 
92. Do you want to get married
the idea seems nice but i dont think anyone will want to marry me
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The First 90 Minutes Episode 27
Strain: Aj’s Sour Diesel
Dispensary: Garden Remedies
Dispensary Agent: Jamal
THC: 26%
Type: Sativa-dominant (65/35)
Hello again to all my cannabis loving and canna-curious friends, and welcome back to another episode of The First 90 Minutes! Today I am going to be reviewing a very nice Sativa-Dominant strain I bought from Garden Remedies Inc. in Melrose, Massachusetts, Aj’s Sour Diesel!! This herbal, sour, and earthy strain is best suited for stress, depression, fatigue, pain, and mood swings. It is said to increase creativity, & energy, while promoting a euphoric and relaxed uplift in mind and body.
I chose this strain particularly based on the effects it is supposed to have. I felt that this would be a great product to use when at a very low point in my Bipolar cycle. I’m using this today for just that, a low point. My hope is that this will lift my mood to an even point, and increase my creativity and energy to help me get some of my artwork done, which has been a struggle lately. Ok, so without further ado, let’s light up, sit back, and relax as we talk about the first 90 minutes!
Ok, so opening up the vial, a skunky-sweet scent hits your nostrils. Starting this session off at 7:30 pm with two hits from a glass bowl,
I get a earthy and sweet flavor, followed by sour undertones. This bud is pretty harsh on the inhale, so go easy when you are first checking this one out. I am not feeling much, other than a little lightheadedness from coughing, but that’s about it so far. At 7:40 pm, my body feels tingly, and I feel my mood lifting. I feel slight hints of increased energy, and I feel myself starting to focus a little easier.
At 8:00 pm, I am feeling a definite energy burst, and a very strong creative buzz coming on. My focus has greatly improved, yet I feel very relaxed, easy-going. I am finding myself starting to feel ready to get up and start setting up for my art projects. I am feeling a little anxious, but for me, that is a common thing when it comes to Sativas. At 8:30 pm, I am experiencing some dry eye. My mood has greatly improved, and the energy boost is more of a focused energy vs a hyper-energetic state. I have to say I am absolutely in love with the creative boost with this strain. Once I got up and going, my mind has just been filled with ideas for my work. Despite the energy boost, I am happy to report that my mind and body feel so relaxed, putting me right on the mark to handle this low. I feel happy, productive, and motivated.
Rounding the corner to our 90 minute mark, the dry eye is still running pretty strong, despite eye drops. Despite the dry eye, I am finding that my body and mind have mellowed out into a very calm and creative high. My mood and ability to function have greatly improved, but without pushing me into a manic state. My head feels very clear, and I feel stress-free and happy.
Ok, so time for my final thoughts. Personally, I really loved this strain. I had not been able to get myself to work on my art for days, and this strain brought me to a point where I felt uplifted, relaxed, and so creative! I was able to level out my mood, improve my focus, and get myself out of bed. If you are looking for a nicely balanced effect that you can use any time of the day, I would say take Aj’s Sour Diesel for a test run. The only downside that I found with this product was the intensity of the dry eye I experienced, however, that will not deter me from purchasing this product again. The effects were exactly what I needed, and that’s what matters the most to me. Based on this, I give this product 4.9 stars. Great job Garden Remedies Inc.!
Well my friends, we have reached the end of this review. Thank you for joining me, and stay tuned for our next session as we toke and talk about a whole new strain and it’s effects over the first 90 minutes!
Disclaimer
*****Please remember, this blog is an account of my personal experience with this strain. Not everyone has the same experience with every strain, and that’s okay. I always recommend taking one to two hits at the most, and waiting at least forty-five minutes to see how the product effects you. Go low and slow, you can always take more if needed. ******
Also, if you find this post helpful, please help me get the word out to other patients by liking and re-blogging this post! Thanks!
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gigslist · 3 years
Text
24 Film Jobs and Casting Calls - SF and Worldwide
Paid and unpaid. The unpaid gigs looked interesting.
Casting Two Female Actresses For A Short
Location New York City, New York
Genre Action / Adventure
 Deadline Aug 14, 2021
Casting two female actresses (height 5'2 to 5'8) race is unimportant, age range 18 to 35 to play leading actor's girlfriend.  Script is already written, second half has been shot and edited. This is a pay job. Contact: [email protected]  Please only serious inquiries.
==================================
Wanted: 2 Female Actors For Lgbtq Short
 Seeking Actor
 Location Los Angeles, California and Hollywood, California
 Status Development
 Type Short film
 Genre Female-driven • Romance
Deadline Oct 23, 2021
 About the job
WANTED: Two female Actors for LGBTQ Short “My Gabrielle.” Where SAMI (25) shy, poet, androgynous, falls in love with GABRIELLE (23) who is tall, thin, mocha skinned African American beauty. Her hair in long ringlets, (or braids) cascades down her back.  Gabrielle is a Las Vegas showgirl and dances in a chorus line. Sami got her MFA in creative writing, is a poet, and drives a motorcycle.
“My Gabrielle” is a 10-page short to be filmed in Hollywood. Two locations. Two actors. Would like to film as soon as possible, but willing to wait to find the perfect actors.
Please email Melissa at: [email protected] with your resume, headshots, and link to your reel.
============================================
Office Assistant
 Seeking Assistant Production Office Coordinator
 Location Studio City, Los Angeles County, California
 Status Post-production
 Type Episodic
 Genre All genres of TV • Television
 Deadline Jan 29, 2022
 About the job
DigitalFilm Tree, a post and production veteran
facility in Los Angeles, is a leader in cloud based dailies, remote editorial and finishing, VFX, archival services and on site/in house needs. We are an authority in cyber security for media & entertainment with ongoing R&D efforts that have contributed meaningful software applications to our community. As a multi talented collective of thought leaders, DigitalFilm Tree is hoping to add another super hero to our team - the glue of our team, the Office Assistant!
The role of DFT's Office Assistant encompasses a myriad of duties, from keeping phones, deliveries and pick ups covered, to keeping the facility sanitized every hour for the health and safety of our minimal on site staff, while pivoting quickly when one of those staff members has an urgent or client facing need. This role will also directly support and be an extension of our Chief Operations Officer who supports and serves every single department - flexibility, fast on your feet, clear and concise communication are critical to this role. If you love ''The West Wing,'' you're going to love working with our COO. Seriously, don't be shy about sending your long winded essays about the critical role Charlie played in the Bartlet Administration.
Soft Skills we seek:
• Interdisciplinary: meaning we all possess more than one strength across the scope of facility needs (i.e. our CTO is also our Senior Colorist, our Director of Content is also an authority in billing and data security, our Online Editor is also one of our content producers, etc.)
• Clear Communicator: Context is incredibly important to us. Because of the large scope of innovation we put forward, teams could easily lose track of what hand is doing that impacts the other. We prioritize efficiency, but never at the cost of leaving anyone in the dark.
• Endlessly Curious: While we respect the advancement being made outside of DFT, we know we have an incredibly gifted team of people in house who are and have built some of the most progressive M&E platforms in use on cutting edge shows. So we're constantly learning, building, breaking, battle testing and imagining new solutions for our client partners and do our best to remain brand and workflow agnostic.
What we're looking for in this role (in addition to comfort with the above):
Working in a fast-paced and busy facility, the Office Assistant is responsible for managing the heavy rotation of calls, deliveries, upkeep of common areas, ordering lunches, planning office events (on site and remote) to honor staff birthdays, holidays, etc. They also manage supplies for facilities management like kitchen, bathroom and printing needs.
Responsibilities Include:
• Significant project management in keeping track of receipts, office supplies, team preferences, birthdays, in bound deliveries (like media drives and machinery) and ensuring we never run out of supplies for the kitchen, bathroom, printers, and basic office supplies (i.e. pens, paper, post its, etc.)
• Phones - you are both a gate keeper, protecting the time of all those on site, as well as the very first or only touch point someone may have with our company. How you speak to people matters and we need to know we can trust you with our people and how we're being represented to anyone turning to us for support.
• Security Cameras and property awareness falls to the Office Assistant who is one set of eyes on our cameras. You'll alert various team members should their be an issue on property, you'll issue guests security badges (when we actually have guests again), and you'll be mindful of our neighborhood to ensure we're being a good member of our tiny Cahuenga community.
• Learn. Yep, that's a responsibility. We cannot teach ambition. Most folks at DFT have grown immensely from their first day to where they are now, with a large number of our team having been with us for over a decade. The number one responsibility of any DFT'er is to stay curious. Every single job here matters. Every single job here supports someone else on the team. We are interdependent and interdisciplinary.
• Covid Safety Protocols: You temperature check every employee and guest to DFT as well as sanitize surfaces and door handles every hour. You handle and sanitize inbound packages (packages are placed on the floor inside our door by vendors and you use a sanitizing spray gun to disinfect before touching with gloves). You ensure that everyone in office is wearing a mask at all times unless alone behind a closed door (most folks have a door at DFT).
• Billing Support: the Office Assistant provides a necessary hand to our accounting department, by facilitating weekly scanning and filing of financial documents, managing and filing receipts, and copying/scanning any additional financial documentation required.
• Honoring and supporting team members. Their birthdays should matter to you deeply. This is a hard enough time to try and connect, we want to make sure that our people know they're seen, valued and cared for - not everyone loves a big hulabaloo, but everyone does appreciate knowing they matter.
• Coffee. We cannot stress this enough. You're going to need to make a mean cup of coffee. This office is full of admitted coffee snobs with a borderline consumption problem.
• Lunches, Dinners, Catering - you'll be responsible for our twice weekly on site lunches (which may increase to 3x during busier seasons) and dinners for those working late - both lunches and dinners are also often extended to our team working from home, so you'll place orders you never see, but also need to check in with staff after delivery to ensure all went well and they're not left to solve for issues with their meals. Catering and holiday meals are generally organized through a vendor for us to offer as a pick up and re/heat at home (i.e. Thanksgiving were meals from Gelson's catering, Christmas we offered Whole Foods meals and ensure GF, Vegan, Allergies are accounted for with each person). Food is a love language we take seriously.
Experience & Education:
• High end hospitality background preferred.
• Media & Entertainment background a strong plus.
• Billing or accounting strengths are helpful.
• Direct support of a management role - having to anticipate needs - very helpful.
• Project management experience a strong plus.
If the above sounds like you and you're looking to join one of the strongest and most innovative teams in town, we'd love to hear from you!
Compensation: Range and categorization (salary versus hourly) DOE Dog friendly office / Fully or mostly paid
health insurance (depends on your choice of plan) / PTO One Medical service for ongoing Covid tests as well as virtual care and dedicated, on time visits with on site labs / Parking / Twice a week fitness sessions (virtual w/ trainer) / WFH often possible / Lunch provided 2-3x per week.
Contact Us: [email protected]
Please attach your resume and tell us a bit about yourself in the email. It would help us to know:
1) What is the most effective way you've found to show people you care and are genuinely interested in supporting their goals?
2) Are you comfortable working on site, regularly sanitizing surfaces, providing your Covid vaccination card and taking Covid tests?
3) What is one movie you think best represents what it means to be a great team player and/or assistant?
======================================
Actor
 Seeking Actor
 Location San Antonio, Texas
 Status Production
 Type Episodic
 Genre Comedy
 Deadline Aug 6, 2021
 About the job
Casting call. Unpaid but will get IMDB credit. Looking for a real-life acting couple to play these parts below.
Filming in San Antonio, TX but you can be located in any city as filming will be done remotely.
Mr. Campbell-30s to 40s. Socially awkward. He is trying to be more confident in the bedroom with his wife but he’s a little frightened by her.
Mrs. Campbell-30s to 40s. Bubbly and very outgoing. Loves her husband but annoyed he doesn’t want to indulge in her solicitous bedroom antics.
Email your headshot, reel and resume to [email protected] and [email protected]
===========================================
Videographer
 Seeking Videographer
 Location Montréal, Canada
 Status Production
 Type Internet project
 Genre Documentary / Docuseries
 Deadline Sep 7, 2021
 About the job
Looking for a videographer with equipment for a web docuseries. The details are:
Estimated shooting days: 5.
Estimated schedule: September 3rd to September 7th.
Location: Montréal, Canada
Task: Filming and derush of minor corrections of files if necessary.
Includes: Rental, installation, and handling of equipment.
Please send portfolio and cv at [email protected]
==========================================
Crew Up And Create A New Entertainment Source
 Seeking Crew, Actor, Editor and Director of Marketing & Distribution
 Location Washington, D. C., Los Angeles, California, San Francisco, California and New York City, New York
 Status Development
 Type Internet project
 Genre News
 Deadline Jan 28, 2022
 About the job
Hey Everyone, 
I am looking to build an Entertainment News source with a hungry team that wants to create something that would be also theirs. I am looking for Anchors, writers, editors, and more to help create this vision. With 20 years of working with networks, I have access to footage, interviews, and behind-the-scenes content that will make our channel unique and stand out. I would love to set up a small crew for a meeting and talk about what we can build together. 
This position isn't paid but all would have equal rights to the project and as the project grows and creates monetization, we'd all share equally. 
I am doing this because I love storytelling and would like to have a channel that would focus more on the art and not on the "Jen and Ben are back together!" moments. 
I've done a soft launch test on Facebook: https://fb.watch/715u4FsSDu/
========================================
Vfx-Artists For Star Wars Fan Film In Denmark
 Seeking Compositor, Concept Artist, Storyboard Artist and Visual Effects Artist
 Location Copenhagen, Denmark
 Status Post-production
 Type Pilot
 Genre Action / Adventure • Drama • Fantasy • Sci-Fi • Indie • Independent
Deadline Sep 8, 2021
 About the job
SHROUDED DESTINY: A STAR WARS LONG TALE - FAN PRODUCTION IS LOOKING FOR VFX-ARTISTS, CONCEPT ARTISTS AND MORE! (PRO BONO):
What is this?
"Shrouded Destiny: A Star Wars Long Tale" is the world's biggest independent fan film made in Denmark!
With more than 350 volunteers having lent their talents to the making of this 70 minutes pilot episode, this is an unsolicited pitch to Lucasfilm and Disney in the effort to get a meeting with the topfolks at Lucasfilm to meet myself and the producers to create an entirely original story in the Star Wars Universe!
Starring actors like International Emmy-Award winner, Lars Mikkelsen (House of Cards, Sherlock Holmes, Ride Upon The Storm); stunt performer Laûren Okadigbo (Justice Leauge, Wonder Woman, Krypton, Ready Player One); Magnus Bruun (The Last Kingdom, Assassin's Creed: Valhalla) and others, the fan film is a "pilot" aimed at showing the visual style and storyline in a small part of the planned 8-season storyline that takes place in the years 550-510 BBY. Imagine the scale of Game of Thrones; the meticulousness of The Wire, and the dysfunctional family relations of Breaking Bad spiced with the violence of The Raid, and you have an idea of what this film is all about. 
What do you need?
We've finished filming and are currently looking to recruit people in two areas: Immediate post production and creating illustrations for a Virtual Production Pitch Presentation. 
The post work includes things like: 
Keying
Matchmoving / camera tracking
Houdini DOPs
All-round compositors
If you have skills in these departments, why not send our VFX-supervisor, Peter Rongsted, an e-mail at [email protected] with an application?
We really want to engage people who are ambitious about their lives and their careers and are willing to set the time matching said ambitions to come work with us. This is a stepping stone for so many of us on this production and we're eager to make it a stepping stone for as many people as possible! Like every single soul working on this production, it is an unpaid assignment.
If you don't fit into the post-production categories we're looking for right now, send an email anyway. We're sure we'll be able to find something for you anyway.
For the Virtual Production Pitch, we're looking to emulate the style of "Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj", where illustrations of characters and environments are playing in the back, as we present the story of the film. 
It's an insanely ambitious endeavor and we hope that you as an illustrator, concept artist or Storyboard Artist can see the logic of being attached to a project, where the end goal is to have your work seen by the biggest folks in the film industry.
If you feel like this could be something down your alley, send an email to: [email protected] and we'll continue the conversation there. :-)
What do I get out of this?
Since a paycheck currently isn't in play, this project has to make sense to you on a different scale. 
We want to put this film out this year (Covid has already post-poned it more than a year) and this will offer you credits on a film that will most likely be viewed by millions of people via YouTube, since we're not selling this film, but merely working on a very over-zealous proof of concept. 
So you're in that point of your career, where you have the talent and time, but don't have the jobs right now and are looking to add things to your portfolio and you're not afraid to put forth ideas that you believe will strengthen the final product. 
Whatever time you have to offer, we'll gladly take, whether it's a few hours a day, a week or full-time commitment, we appreciate you. :-) 
You might just also be a really huge Star Wars fan and are ambitious of one day working for Disney or Lucasfilm and want to be able to get an in somehow. This project might be it, if you're not in the near vicinity of getting hired by a company working for them. :-)
=========================================
Actors, Sound
 Seeking Actor, Boom Operator and Makeup Artist
 Location Anchorage, Alaska
 Status Pre-production
 Type Episodic
 Genre Horror
 Deadline Jan 19, 2022
 About the job
Hi, this is strictly for fun. Just throwing this out there to see if anyone's interested with date TBA. We've just finished a fun, short horror film that we're proud of & would like to shoot a web series from it. We've already got quite a few eps written. Think Supernatural meets Stranger Things. *Actors need comic timing. This is not a paid job, but food will be provided. You must be in the  area, have training at least. We prefer experienced actors. We have an experienced crew & equipment. The set will be 100% safe. Please tell anyone you think might be interested! Thanks.
Contact me at: [email protected] - Kym
=====================================
Screenwriter Looking For Fellow Screenwriter
 Seeking Screenwriter
 Location Chicago, Illinois, Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin, Wheaton, Illinois and Downers Grove, Illinois
 Status
 Genre Thriller / Suspense / Mystery
 Deadline Jan 23, 2022
 About the job
Screenwriter available with whom I can collaboratewith Seeking to team up with someone to come up with new ideas, Putting strong hook in five pages.of the script looking for a fresh perspective for my ideas
50/50 split. writing new Movie Script. I have allots of new ideas for that.
If interested you can massage me here or Email me [email protected] or any other location you are at.
======================================
Texas Snowstorm Victims
 Seeking Actor and Crew
 Location San Antonio, Texas, Austin, Texas, Dallas, Texas and Houston, Texas
 Status Pre-production
 Type Documentary
 Genre Historical / Biopic / True-stories
 Deadline Sep 1, 2021
 About the job
Looking for REAL PEOPLE who were impacted by the Texas Snowstorm 2021 for documentary to be shot in early September. 
AND CREW.
=====================================
Writer For Science Fiction Tv Show For Stream
 Seeking Screenwriter
 Location Brooklyn, New York
 Status Development
 Type Television
 Genre Drama • Sci-Fi • Television
Deadline Aug 15, 2021
 About the job
New York Production Company is seeking an experienced TELEVISION writer that writes Dramatic Science Fiction and who can think outside of the box. . This is NOT A REMOTE JOB. We are located in Brooklyn, NY and you will be required to report to location for the writer's room/ work each day.  For this job, there is no zoom interview and it is not a zoom job, you would have to come in person for the interview.  On-site Hours: Monday-Friday, 11am-7pm This project lasts for 1 month. Compensation: $660 per week We cannot stress enough that this is NOT a remote job. We need someone as soon as possible, ready to work, with open availability. If you have any doubts, please do not apply. Qualifications: - Must have at least 5-6 years experience writing drama and SciFi - Must have at least 5 years of experience writing for SERIES! as member of the writing team, you will be working to complete the entire first season of a SciFi television show for online streaming.  This means you MUST: -Be able to write, organize, and intertwine multiple plot lines and character arcs in a way that is real, appealing, and that does not create plot holes. -Be fantastic at scene creation. -Be meticulous with taking notes. We depend on our writers to accurately follow and update series bibles. Whatever is verbally created in writer's room meetings MUST make it onto paper! -Be punctual! Arrive on time for work each day and meet all deadlines. -Be creative, openminded, and a team player. -All writing, but especially something as fantastical as science fiction, works best when the writer is able to open their mind to all possibilities. - You must be ego-free, and be able to throw an idea out completely in order to facilitate a better one. Please submit Cover Letter, Resume, Samples of your EPISODIC work to [email protected]
=================================================
Screenwriter
 Seeking Screenwriter
 Location East Lansing, Michigan
 Status Development
 Type Short film
 Genre All genres, all formats.
 Deadline Sep 17, 2021
 About the job
OVERVIEW: The Department of Theatre is looking for original short film script submissions for consideration of production in May of 2022. This is an annual film production opportunity in collaboration with the students and faculty of the Department of Theatre. If selected, your script will go through the entire production process: Development, Pre-Production, Principle Photography, Post-Production, and Distribution (submitted for film festivals in the professional category.) 
You are expected to be available (either in person or via video conference) for two development meetings in Fall Semester 2021, and one in early Spring Semester 2022. These are primarily for script notes, which are also expected to be addressed. 
Submissions will be accepted now through September 15th, 2021. 
SCRIPT GUIDELINES: Scripts should be between 10 - 20 pages in standard screenplay format.  There must be 7-10 roles in the film (think ensemble pieces). The characters should be aged between 16 - 30 years old.  No driving with dialogue scenes. Some stunts are okay, but should be relatively limited.  Limited special effects requirements. Limited visual effects requirements. No period pieces at this time. Open to a variety of genres or styles as long as it adheres to the guidelines above. 
SELECTION PROCESS: Each script will be read by the Film Initiative Selection Panel. Final notifications will be made by October 15th 2021. 
COMPENSATION: The writer of the selected script will receive a $500 honorarium. 
SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: Please complete the Form Submission (https://forms.gle/koH25cp6BkA7...) and attach your screenplay with no identifying information. These are blind submissions, meaning, the pdf of your script should not have your name on the cover sheet or any other part of the document. Make sure your script includes a title page with the title of the film only. Global majority, female, and LGBTQI+ strongly encouraged to apply.
If you have any questions, please email Ryan: [email protected]
================= ========================
Voice Over Artists And Actors
 Seeking Voice Artist
 Location Paris, France
 Status Post-production
 Type Feature film
 Genre Drama • Female-driven • Horror
 Deadline Sep 1, 2021
 About the job
Hello everyone,
I'm looking for V.O artists, actors or anyone willing to help me out on my first feature "CONFINED" (you can check out the movie on my page for more infos), entirely funded with personal funds. 
- I have 9 positions to fill (male or female) for American-English V.O: Journalist 1 (3 Lines) / Journalist 2 (3 Lines) / Journalist 3 (5 Lines) / Paranoid Dude (4 Lines) / US Official (4 Lines) / Journalist 4 (6 Lines) / Journalist 5 (5 Lines) / Evangelist ( 6 Lines) / Journalist 6 (4 Lines)
- I have 2 positions to fill (male or female) for Asian (can be any Asian language) V.O: Journalist 1 (2 Lines) / Asian Official (1 Line).
If you're interested by the roles, please contact me on here or at [email protected]
Thanks so much in advance for your help.
Louis.   
========================
Development And/Or Creative Executives - Pane
 Seeking Director of Marketing & Distribution
 Location Miami, Florida
 Status Development
 Genre All genres, all formats.
 Deadline Aug 30, 2021
 About the job
FILMSTOCK EVENTS "where talent meets opportunity"
 FILMSTOCK is the first of it's kind as the only industry expo offering in person meetings with agents, casting directors, film distributors, show runners and vendors and other industry professionals. Our date for the first annual FILMSTOCK is set for November 13th 2021 right in the middle of the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival (FLIFF). 
Our vision is not a Sundance or a Tribecca Film Festival but a Business Industry Expo which I know is the first of it's kind. I am not talking about a networking event where everyone there is simply talking nonsense claiming to be in the business.
I am talking about professional and industry leaders from Photographers, Videographers, Industry Organizations, Graphic Artists, Make-up, Wardrobe, Set Design, Casting Directors, Soundstage Production House owner / operators, Kraft food services, executive transportation services, etc. These individuals / vendors will all be in the main lobby area where they have each purchased a table for the day at a cost of $79. Tables are standard six foot table with access to power, where they will display a banner ad or backdrop. 
 SPEEDCASTING -We are the first to offer a face to face live in person slate where Actors pay a fee to do a 10 minute monologue or just who they are to a panel (2 to 4) of Casting Directors and Agents. 3 hours 1pm to 4pm allows us 18 Actors to do their thing in front of the pros to hopefully get picked up. When an Actor registers he / she must upload a media bin, headshots, resume and if they plan on performing a monologue it cannot exceed 5 minutes. 
PITCHFEST - Same as above only now we have independent film makers pitching their project. They have already registered with a Treatment, Teaser, etc and they get 10 minutes to tell their story in hopes that a panel (2 to 4) of Distributors / Investor Producers may just give them a shot. Same time slots of 10 minutes each over 3 hours same = 18 pitches. 
We have broken down the above with a general admission day ticket $25.  All Access VIP ticket for $199 and in between for those interested in only the Pitchfest or Speedcasting a lower priced ticket. Door Prizes / raffle of high end electronics already in house donated from industry related companies such as Lume Cube. 
 NOTE - we are compensating the above professionals each $100.00 for their time on site open to close 12 noon to 4 pm paid at days end and they must be on site before 12 noon call time to set up . 
 Between social media, the coordination and support from FLIFF we expect a few hundred in attendance between 11 am and 4 pm that day.
 Sara Rogers is our CEO and has a huge following in the industry with over 40 years experience. Also included in this email is Rion Heldibridle our CFO and actively involved with Artserve in Sunrise Florida where the event will take place on Saturday November 13, 2021 along with Lou Silver, the COO with over 30 years experience in marketing and promotion and business development.
  Lou Silver, COO (954) 895-5801
Sara Roger, CE0 (786) 247-7761
FILMSTOCK EVENTS 
==================
Help With Writing Script
 Seeking Screenwriter
 Location Mission Viejo, California and Los Angeles, California
 Status Development
 Type Television
 Genre Drama
Deadline Dec 17, 2021
 About the job
I need help writing my script. If you know anyone who can help me out, I’d appreciate it. You can reach me at +13108632713 or [email protected]
===================
Cast, Crew and Admin Wanted 
 LocationLos Angeles, California StatusDevelopment TypeFeature film GenreSci-Fi • Action • Romance
The storyline
One day a young man discovered the meaning of Kleroterion, the ancient Greek model of elections of the rulers.  From that point on, he tries to rearm “The Kleroterion” based on an Artificial Intelligence. 
Actors
Development department
Production management department
Craft department
Technical department
Post-production department
Sales and distribution department
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScXOGVN93x60UHa-GSxV1-T58blaHT1QaSA_EApyGLtl_BdjA/viewform
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Dop And Editor (Collaboration Only)
 Seeking Director of Photography
 Location Guwāhāti, India
 Status Development
 Type Feature film
 Genre Drama • Female-driven • Independent • Romance
Deadline Aug 31, 2021
 About the job
Hi, I am all set to shoot my second feature film "MINI" by second half this year . Looking for DOP and editor who can come as   collaborators only . I can give rights accordingly . Feel free to write to me at [email protected] for more details .
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm7961313/
========================
Nonbinary Social Media Take On Romeo & Juliet
 Seeking Screenwriter
 Location Los Gatos, California, New York City, New York and Los Angeles, California
 Status Development
 Type Episodic
 Genre Drama • Romance
Deadline Nov 25, 2021
 About the job
SEARCHING FOR WRITER TO TACKLE NON-TRADITIONAL TAKE ON ROMEO & JULIET
I’m the Director of Content Development for Sideway - an innovative new streaming service that uses the mechanics of social media to tell fictional stories - and we are looking for a writer to develop a new, gender nonconforming version of Romeo and Juliet for our platform. If you have any kind of direct, personal connection to nonconforming gender praxis, or fall anywhere on the LGBTIAQ+ spectrum, this is the gig for you. If you are a straight white guy, probably not.
A little more about the platform itself: Sideway is a mobile-only app that resembles a social media app in how it’s navigated, but populated by fictional characters rather than real people. Each show on Sideway takes place within an entirely simulated social world, complete with video chats, DMs, posts, likes, comments, all of which make up the stories told.
In bringing this new version of Romeo & Juliet to life, we are hoping to retain as much of the original text as possible, while at the same time not being sacred about prudent dramatic changes. That said, the framework of the story - the setting, character relationships, world and texture - are entirely up to you. It needs to be set in the present day, given the nature of the app itself, but all other aspects of the story are open to creative interpretation. 
Please submit resume and a brief pitch to [email protected]. Am happy to discuss the concept, platform, compensation and expectations further, and answer any and all questions.
Happy writing!
==================
Open Theatre Auditions: Ben Hur (Brixham, Dev
 Seeking Actor
 Location Brixham, United Kingdom
 Status Production
 Type Theatre
 Genre Action / Adventure • History • Faith-based / Inspirational • Drama
Deadline Aug 29, 2021
 About the job
OPEN THEATRE AUDITIONS We are casting all roles in a regionally touring, plus globally streamed production of Ben Hur Auditions for all roles on Sunday August 29th 2021, at 1pm onwards at our home rehearsal base of Chestnut Community Centre, 1-3 Poplar Close, Brixham TQ5 0SA (this is as long as Covid restrictons allow. If they do not, we will be conducting alternative auditions online using Zoom) * Actors must be based in/ near Devon, UK. (Rehearsals - as long as Covid allows - are in Brixham, Devon), * All roles open for casting. * Paid profitshare as minimum (funding for higher cast/crew payments actively being sought) plus portfolio material. * Many roles being cast "genderblind". * All ethnicities needed and welcomed. *We do not charge you anything to audition or work with us. Download the full audition information pack from https://www.southdevonplayers.com/auditions.html SYNOPSIS: Based on the famous novel by Lew Wallace, and brought to life by strong, memorable characters, both male and female, Ben Hur is set in the first century AD. Judah Ben Hur, a young nobleman of Jerusalem, a city under the occupation of the Roman Empire, is framed for the attempted murder of the Roman governor, by his erstwhile closest boyhood friend, Massala, now a Roman commander. Sentenced to life as a galley slave; a sentence which usually led to death within months, Judah survives, and after a pirate attack on the Roman navy in the Agean sea, travels to Rome a hero, having saved the life of the Roman commander in his escape. He once more returns to Jerusalem, seeking his mother and sister, who were imprisoned for the same attack, and finds no trace of them. He does however, find Massala, and blinded by rage, challenges Massala at the annual Roman “games”. Massala is killed in the Games, with his dying breath, reveals to Judah that his mother and sister were in fact released and driven from the city as lepers. With all hope, and all lust for revenge, gone, Judah is lost, but fate is not finished with him. He eventually finds his mother and sister, who are miraculously healed by a preacher, who has recently come to the city. A historical action drama set in Biblical times, interwoven with the life and death of Jesus Christ, who appears twice in the drama, this is ultimately a powerful tale of hope and love, set within the dramatic and often brutal times of the Roman Empire. We are a female-led theatre company based in the beautiful fishing port of Brixham, in Southwest England, to create top quality local opportunities for local creatives to create work in theatre, and to bring new productions to audiences across the South of England. Founded in 2005. Creating internationally awardwinning theatre based on historical events (including new writing) and stage adaptations of classical literature. Breaking down barriers to participating in theatre for actors, crew, and audiences alike. We love to hear from new prospective actors, creatives and audiences at any time, regardless of age, ethnicity, gender, or experience. www.southdevonplayers.com www.facebook.com/sdevonplayers www.twitter.com/sdevonplayers email: [email protected]
================
Actors: Act From Home - Online Table Reads
 Seeking Actor
 Location Los Angeles, California, New York City, New York, Chicago, Illinois and London, England
 Status Development
 Type Live event
Deadline Sep 12, 2021
 About the job
ONLINE TABLE READS - We pay actors to bring scripts to life! Your voice can help a writer experience their work in a different way. Does the dialogue work? Do the twists and turns actual twist and turn?
Go to https://onlinetableread.com/ to apply for ongoing positions.
=============
Screenwriter Writing Partner
 Seeking Screenwriter
 Location Chicago, Illinois and Wheaton, Illinois
 Status
 Genre Thriller / Suspense / Mystery
Deadline Sep 11, 2021
 About the job
Someone I know seeking Writing Partner is asking to bonce ideas back and fourth. Make script workable putting strong hook in 5 pages. Make script vary intresting.
If intrested send me email [email protected] ty
==============
Dancer And Performer
 Seeking Dancer
 Location San Francisco, California
 Status Pre-production
 Type Music video
 Genre Music • Musical • Indie • Experimental • Fantasy • Mystery
Deadline Sep 11, 2021
 About the job
Hi everyone,
I am directing and producing a music video for an indie singer and songwriter. I am looking to find female and male dancers (ballet or modern dance).
If you are interested in collaborating, please contact me. 
Niloo Asadi
================
Editor For A Short Teaser
 Seeking Editor
 Location Stockholm, Sweden
 Status Pre-production
 Type Promo
 Genre Crime
Deadline Sep 10, 2021
 About the job
Looking for an editor with great skills and has significant experience. 
We will be shooting a promo of 1-2 min length ( Max ) If you have a editing reel please send it. 
Open to worldwide applicants. 
===================
Actors
 Seeking Actor
 Location Denver, Colorado
 Status Pre-production
 Type Short film
 Genre Horror
Deadline Oct 31, 2021
 About the job
Dark Park Films Presents: Reign of Vibrant Screams: Tales of Cosmic Horror Director- Gino Alfonso Ginome Films Fresh Cola Four preteen friends go out in search for a new hot soda, called Fresh Cola with some bizarre side effects Short - Unpaid This is for an anthology series that will be released in January filming for 2 days sometime in Nov - (masks will be worn on set when not shooting and six feet apart and temperatures will be taken upon arrival on set) Need - kids ages 12 Mia - Hispanic - 12 Chris - African-American - 12 Jake - Caucasian - 12 (sandy blond hair) Katie (Jake’s sister) 12 (sandy blonde hair) Mom (30’s) of Jake and Katie Dad (30’s) of Jake and Katie Curtis - Store clerk any age adult any ethnicity Please email headshot/resume and if you have a reel - to [email protected]
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bootandbradford · 6 years
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Can you do a 50 facts about me
Wow 50 facts honestly seems like a lot 😬 But I’ll give it a try. I’m not that interesting of a person tbh but I hope you enjoy this anyway.
1. I am college student majoring in Psychology with minors in Sociology and Spanish2. I’m fluent in Spanish and love to annoy my friends and family by speaking it at inconvenient times 😉3. I have one older brother and sister4. My favorite color is lilac 5. I wanted to be a chiropractor when I was younger6. I can sing and dance moderately well7. I graduated in the top 20% of my high school class8. I have three cats that I mention all the time bc I’m a crazy cat lady9. I absolutely cannot stand when people tap their silverware on their plates or on the table10. I am very superstitious and always wear all black on any Friday the 13th11. My dream job is to be a neuropsychologist, if I was any good at chemistry I would go to med school and be a neurosurgeon but 🤷🏼‍♀️12. I absolutely love anything and everything with peanut butter, seriously I’ve eaten spoonfuls of it on multiple occasions 😬13. I really want to travel abroad in the next couple of years14. I love volunteering and my favorite place to volunteer is at nursing homes15. I prefer Apple products to Microsoft products16. I try my hardest not to lie too often bc I try to be as honest as I can17. I used to play the piano when I was younger18. I’ve read so many books that I literally can’t even count how many I’ve read in my lifetime. Honestly ask me about any book bc I’ve probably read it 😂19. I like to organize things20. I have a post card collection from the places I’ve visited21. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life and I never plan to bc I’ve had multiple family members die from lung cancer22. My favorite day of the week in Thursday, I don’t really know why it’s just usually the best day of the week for me23. I love Disney and Pixar movies so much, they always cheer me up when I’m feeling down24. I love spring and fall but I can’t stand summer and winter25. I’m totally in love with nature and would love to be a photographer for National Geographic if the opportunity ever presents itself to me26. I rarely ever carry cash on me, idk why really I just prefer to pay with my debit card27. I’m an atheist even though it went to church for years when I was younger28. I tend to mumble a lot when I’m nervous or talk way too fast29. I have a lot of scars on my body and I used to be very self conscious and hated when anyone mentioned them but now I don’t mind talking about them30. I’ve never been a fan of selfies bc I’ve never really liked how I look in pictures 31. I played tennis during high school and I miss it a lot32. Speaking of tennis I dislocated my right wrist during a match and it still clicks sometimes when I move it 😳33. When I was younger I played soccer and was pulled out of multiple games bc I was being too aggressive 😬34. I love to correct everyone’s grammar bc little mistakes drive me crazy35. Almost every year on birthday there has been a snow storm36. I’ve never watched a single episode of Friends despite many of friends wanting me to watch it 37. I’m absolutely awful at math like I’m so bad that I still count on my fingers38. I love breakfast food and can eat it at anytime of the day39. I almost failed my drivers test bc I was so nervous and cautious that I made bunch of small errors40. I’ve watched the entire Glee series at least 10 times 41. Private Practice is better than Grey’s and that’s the real ☕️ 42. I listen to music almost all day bc I hate silence43. I love to walk around with my friends44. I watched seasons 1-10 of Grey’s in three months between the hiatus of season 11 and 12 bc that’s when I started to watch regularly 45. My favorite food is fettuccine alfredo 46. I have great relationships with both of my parents47. I have really bad insomnia and can stay awake for more than 36 hours when I can’t sleep48. I do yoga once a week, sometimes more depending on how stressed I am49. I meditate bc I makes me feel very relaxed and at peace50. I’m lactose intolerant and it makes my life kinda hard sometimes but whatever I’m still going to eat my ice cream when I want to 😂
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pioneergirlsie · 6 years
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85 Questions
I was tagged by the lovely @dearponty <3 Thank you!
I’m tagging: @random----fandoms (I always keep thinking you’re still papillion XD) @thatwouldbeunfortunate @booksinthenooks @flyingthroughthemoonlight @xxno-wayxx
— what was your last…
1. drink: Water out of my huge Newsies cup. Or if water doesn’t count, I had a Mountain Dew yesterday
2. phone call: My aunt so I could wish my little cousin a happy 7th birthday
3. text message: @random----fandoms aka my bestie
4. song you listened to: “From Now On” from The Greatest Showman
5. time you cried: A few weeks ago I was so stressed that I just cried for about a half hour and did nothing
— have you ever…
6. dated someone twice: Haha I haven’t even dated someone once XD
7. kissed someone and regretted it: Haha I’ve never kissed either
8. been cheated on: No
9. lost someone special: Yeah. Too many special someones
10. been depressed: Yeah. After reading A Series of Unfortunate Events I got into a funk and it didn’t really go away on its own... 
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: No but I gag whenever I smell alcohol
— fave colours
12. Blue
13. Green
14. Blue green
— in the last year have you…
15. made new friends: Do online friends count?
16. fallen out of love: Well... Fallen out of “like” is more accurate (and it happened twice so...)
17. laughed until you cried: Oh yes XD
18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes, but not in a bad way
19. met someone who changed you: Yeppers
20. found out who your friends are: A lot of them are the same, but I see now that distance can change people
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: I’ve kissed my parents, and we’re facebook friends, does that count?
— general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: All of them because I don’t friend people I don’t know
23. do you have any pets: Yessss! I have three cats (one of which is missing and she’s my favorite) and a black lab/pointer mix who is adorable and I love him so much even though I don’t like any other dogs
24. do you want to change your name: No I love my name!
25. what did you do for your last birthday: We were on a road trip and my dad decided to pull off to a war memorial even though we were on a tight schedule, so that was interesting. There were LARGE mosquitos there. Then we drove for ten hours. We stopped at a gas station for a bathroom and they didn’t have a toilet seat, so that was... an experience. I cried. We finally arrived at Disney Springs where we got ice cream for my birthday. And the next day, on my bro’s birthday, we went to DisneyWorld. (But it’s alright because we both wore birthday buttons our whole trip and got mistaken for twins constantly and got many magical moments)
26. what time did you wake up today: 8 am
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping thank goodness. But I also could have been sleepwalking or talking because I do that
28. what is something you can’t wait for: My online classes being done (but I get my wisdom teeth out two days later so... maybe I can wait)
30. what are you listening to right now: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace soundtrack XD
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I think my aunt’s brother is named Tom but I don’t think I actually talked to him at that wedding...
32. something that’s getting on your nerves: Drama queens/kings
33. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube, and the site for my college courses
34. hair colour: Brown
35. long or short hair: Medium-ish because I just got it cut from it being really long
36. do you have a crush on someone: It’s complicated
37. what do you like about yourself: I like my eyes a lot, and I like my personality. I have fun :)
38. want any piercings: Nopity nope nope, nope nope. 
 39. blood type: Ha, funny story. I skipped the day of biology where everyone got their blood tested and went to Disney instead 
40. nicknames: Elsie
41. relationship status: Single
42. sign: Pisces I think. I don’t really care
43. pronouns: she/her
44. fave tv show: The new Tangled series!
45. tattoos: Oh nodie dodie.
46. right or left handed: Right
47. ever had surgery: No but I’m going to need a couple
48. piercings: Ears
49. sport: I am totally into motocross. I can’t figure out how to shift, but I love watching it and riding little 50s. 
50. vacation: Are we talking all or most recent? I’ll go with most recent. We took a roadtrip through the deep south this winter all the way down to Florida to visit Disney and my friend at college and saw a Supercross Race over my brother’s and my birthdays.
51. trainers: Do braces count?
— more general
52. eating: Not right now, but if I am it’s probably pasta
53. drinking: Water, but later I’ll have a Mountain Dew
54. I’m about to watch: Some YouTube or the end of The Phantom Menace (again)
55. waiting for: Summer so I can be free
56. want: To star in a Broadway show XD Besides that, I’ve wanted this cute jacket for awhile. Ooh! And I want Newsies Live to get a CD and DVD
57. get married: Maybe after I’ve dated and found the right guy XD
58. career: Hopefully an author and an editor! Or I could do newspaper reporter/writer things
— which is better
59. hugs or kisses: hugs, especially when the person is really good at hug giving.
60. lips or eyes: eyes
61. shorter or taller: Well... I am shorter... so idk. But taller can be helpful to reach high places... idk
62. older or younger: Um? How do I answer this? I’d say younger because when you’re older everything starts to hurt
63. nice arms or stomach: Nice arms because they’re good for hugging
64. hookup or relationships: Hookups are bad. Relationships all the way
65. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant 
— have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: Ew no way. I’d maybe kiss my fiance, but not before we’re engaged XD
67. drank hard liquor: Ew absolutely not! 
68. turned someone down: One time in high school a boy wanted to touch my butt and I shut that down hard. Oh, and another time this boy asked out about 5 girls at the same time, including me and my friend, and we both told him that that is not a good way to go about getting a girlfriend.
69. sex on first date: Ewwwww, save that for marriage please
70: broken someone’s heart: I really hope not
71. had your heart broken: Ha. Ha ha. Yeah. About three times. The first time was the worst
72. been arrested: Nope
73. cried when someone died: Absolutely. 
74. fallen for a friend: Well... I guess he still considers us friends, so yeah
— do you believe in
75. yourself: Mostly. Sometimes I panic, but for the most part yes.
76. miracles: Definitely
77. love at first sight: Yes, and it gets me into trouble XD But I also believe in falling slowly
78. santa claus: Well... I believe in the spirit of Santa. I never actually believed in the person of Santa Claus because Jesus is the reason for the season
79. angels: Yes
— misc
80. eye colour: Blue green. And it changes on a day to day basis
81. best friend’s name: @random----fandoms
82. favourite movie: This is an unfair question XD I love anything Disney, Narnia, or Star Wars. And don’t forget the forever underappreciated “The Adventures of Tintin (2011)”
83. favourite actor: Kara Lindsay
84. favourite cartoon: Kim Possible all the way. Also the old Loony Toons are great, as well as the new Tangled Series.
85. favourite teacher’s name: Mrs. B, Mrs. K, and Mrs. L were all so incredibly influential in my life. Mrs. B was like my crazy fun aunt who encouraged me to just be me. I came out of my shell so much because of her. Mrs. K encouraged me very early on as a writer, and she helped steer me towards my current career path. Mrs. L was my school mom. She also dragged me out of my shell and shaped me into the singer/actress I am today. 
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dentist54-blog1 · 4 years
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wizzy-witch-shannon · 6 years
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*WIZZY CHARACTER BUILDING (Hey ya’ll drew this up in 5 minutes so one eye is bigger than the other anyways let’s do this)
*Scarlet Angleheart, death wizard with minors in life and storm, lvl 97
1. what does your character dream about after a good day?
The perfect pet combination (Giraffe, needs to be a giraffe)
2. what does your character dream about after a bad day?
Roasting some warlords in pvp (she doesn’t play pvp, so she can only dream)
3. what exhausts your character the most?
Defeat and collect quests, she’s really lazy and really doesn’t give a damn about your ten twigs or stone fragments you somehow scattered across the general area.
4. what is one secret your character will never reveal?
How much she wishes her mother was still alive, and the regret she holds for her past decisions.
5. what’s a weird quirk of your character?
She scrunches up her face before she sneezes and when someone is talking to her in a degrading tone.
6. does your character have test anxiety?
no, she’s pretty smart, and when she wings it she always get’s a decent grade so whatever
7. what is your character’s favorite thing to do on summer break?
festivals and concerts of all kinds, but she prefers folk and metal vibes over anything else.
8. what makes your character focus?
Music, metal to be precise.
9. does your character have a pet?
SO MANY LITTLE GIRAFFES
10. what is your character’s favorite meal?
A big bloody steak and green beans with breadcrumbs and garlic.
11. does your character enjoy drinking/smoking?
She smokes every few battles because that shit is stressful, drinks on the weekends when she can get wild.
12. what kind of person can your character connect with?
really anyone, but the badass boy/girl type usually end up being close friends with her. People who don’t question her ability or decisions. 
13. what is your character’s favorite story?
The story of how her parents met (Real cute love story so unique it’s almost a fairy tail)
14. is it hard for your character to fall asleep?
She get’s like 3 hours of sleep every night, she knocks right out and wakes up almost immediately ready to go.
15. does your character have freckles? where?
feint freckles on her cheeks and nose
16. does your character have any birthmarks? where?
one on her left ring finger, a small brown blotch that sort of looks like a ghost
17. would your character ever get a tattoo?
she has 7 already
18. does your character enjoy parties?
yes holy lord she’s always the life of the party after shes had a few drinks. Shes usually introverted but at parties there’s no way to control her.
19. would your character ever hook up for a one night stand?
nah
20. does your character have any irrational fears?
She’s really afraid of the magma men on firecat alley because she had a dream one time that they stole her wand and used it to burn down wizard city. Never trust them.
21. is your character more masculine or feminine?
she likes feminine things and appeal but she has masculine tendencies sometimes
22. is your character a lover or a fighter?
she’s both, and it’s very difficult for her. Her mother was a theurgist who loved all things (hippie vibes) and her father was a necromancer who had no mercy for his enemies. She’s a fighter usually, but sometimes her heart just takes over.
23. what is your character’s best school subject?
History and anatomy
24. what is your character’s worst school subject?
Chemistry and any sort of math
25. does your character like spicy food?
Yeah, but it’s not her favorite
26. in a game of truth or dare, what would your character pick?
dare, definitely
27. does your character ever spread rumors or gossip?
She spreads gossip like a wildfire, but only if she knows it is fact, she would never spread false rumors.
28. does your character eat any weird food combinations?
she’d eat a pile of trash if you put it in front of her, she will eat anything once, including combo food
29. would your character ever drink pickle juice?
sure why not
30. does your character know how to play chess?
if she was asked this question she’d say “Uh, checkers is the same thing right? I fucking love checkers.”
31. does your character enjoy reading? why or why not?
she used too until she moved to wizard city, now she doesn’t have the time or energy.
32. if your character got to choose one thing to eat forever, what would it be?
Steak
33. when your character gets lost, how do they react?
She would be calm, and focused. She’d think for a long while on the best course of action and where to go.
34. would your character prefer to travel alone or with others?
Alone, but sometimes she’ll go along with a stranger because it can be comforting, talking and battling with a person who doesn’t know your past.
35. would your character travel by land, sea, or air?
Land, she can’t really swim and she likes the feel of the ground under her feet
36. is your character afraid of the sea?
not afraid of it, she just can’t swim very well (she hates underwater worlds)
37. is your character religious?
she practices wizardry, so obviously she is at least knowledgeable on religions with magic based practices. Does she believe in a god? No. But she does believe in the land she is from, so she considers herself a sort of earth witch.
38. what’s the dumbest thing your character has ever done?
told cyrus drake that he had a massive squidward nose when she was going back to her dorm drunk as a skunk
39. if your character got assigned a school based on appearance, what would it be?
 death, no doubt
40. does your character like where they came from?
she loves grizzleheim, she loves every single thing about it. She moved to marleybone when she was 10, and though it is on the opposite side of the spectrum, she took a liking to it as well
41. does your character have a good relationship with their parents?
with her father, usually. They fight sometimes, but that’s because they’re both pretty hot headed. When it all blows over they’re best friends. Her relationship with her mother was never really...resolved? She loved her but, the last time they saw each other they broke each others hearts so....there’s that.
42. does your character have any allergies?
spider silk makes her sneeze a lot
43. what is one thing that your character cannot do that many others can?
pvp, she’s afraid she isn’t good enough and she hates comparing power
44. when running late, what does your character do?
She literally drops everything she’s doing and goes straight to her destination, no matter what the circumstance.
45. how often does your character cry?
not often as of late, but she has depressive episodes
46. has your character ever broken laws? if so, what?
...why would I enclose that information to you like do you WANT her to get caught?
47. does your character like surprises?
no
48. is your character faster physically or mentally?
she’s very physically fit like her father, and witty like her mom so she’s pretty balanced
49. if your character could be any creature, what would it be and why?
A dark pixie because they’re her aesthetic 
50. finally, if your character could be anywhere doing anything right now, where are they and what are they doing? 
Slaughtering her enemies anywhere in the spiral
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the-fanaddict · 7 years
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A lot of Questions (aka the-fanaddict procrastinates)
There were supposedly 92 questions, but the numbering was all screwed up and there are actually 85.
Tagged by @evilwriter37​! Thanks!
LAST:
1- Drink: Coke. I had dinner a while back  2- Last Phone Call: My mom 3- Text Message: My suitemate needed a picture of something 4- Song listened to: “A Leap of Faith” from the Minecraft Story Mode soundtrack.  5- Time you cried: I think some weeks back when thinking abt my future
HAVE YOU:
6- Dated someone twice: what is dating 7- Kissed someone and regretted it- again. not exactly a romantic 8- Been Cheated on: No   9- Lost someone special: Yes. quite a few people actually (either dead or moved away forever)  10- Been Depressed: *insert bruce banner meme* 11- Gotten Drunk and thrown up: I will never drink. Though I’ve seen my cousins drunk. what an experience. 
LIST THREE COLORS
12- Hot pink 13- Deep purple 14- Lapis Blue (still have episode 4 on my mind lol)
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU
15: Made New Friends- Senior year was the year I made a nice friend group 16: Fallen out of love: Nope 17- Laughed until you cried: Oh yes 18- Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t remember  19- Found out who your friends are: Not really. 20- Kissed someone on Facebook: um no.
GENERAL
21- How many of you facebook friends do you know in real life:  I mean they’re all my relatives so... 22: Do you have any pets: no
23: Do you want to change your name: Not really. 24: What did you do on ur last bday: House party with relatives.  25- What time do you wake up: 6:50 on weekdays and around noon on weekends 26: What were you doing at midnight last night: suffering bc homework 27- Name something you cant wait for: TROLLHUNTERS SEASON 2!!!!, HTTYD 3, mcsm episode 5, steven universe on FRIDAY, oh and Thanksgiving break.   28: When was the last time you saw you mom: a few hours back when I was facetiming her 29: What is one thing you could change: can I be a healthy weight/at least a little toned 30: What are you listening to right now: Minecraft Story Mode Soundtrack 31- Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: Yes. My brother’s friend is named Tom. 32: Something that is getting on your nerves: tungle in general lol 33: Most Visited Sites: Tumblr, Webassign, moodle, Youtube, and fanfiction 34: Moles: at least 3 on each arm, one on my finger, and one on my cheek 35: Marks: I have a burn mark from my trip to India last year and a scar on my knee from like 10 years ago falling off a scooter.  36: Childhood dream: to be an artist 37: Hair color: dark brown with natural auburn highlights (ayy same evilwriter)  38: Long or short hair: long 39: Do you have a crush on someone: Not really? I mean do find some people (celebrities) attractive, but a crush? 40: What do you like about yourself: My intelligence mostly 41: Peircings: Nope 42: Blood type: idk 43: Nicknames: none 44: Relationship Status: forever alone 45: Zodiac Sign: Gemini 46: Pronouns: She/Her 47: Favorite T.V Shows: Trollhunters, Steven Unvierse, Wild Kratts, Miraculous Ladybug, and Rtte I guess 48: Left or Right Handed: Right 49: Surgery: none 50: Hair dyed in a different color: nah 51: Sport: I don’t play sports 52: Vacation: I’ve been to India and the bahamas 53: Pair of trainers: Idk.
MORE GENERAL:
54: Eating: Our dining hall had an early thanksgiving dinner 55: Drinking: I mean I drink water so. 56: I’m about to: “study” for 2 tests tomorrow 57: Want: to sleep, not be stressed, and watch parks and rec 58: get Married: It’ll happen eventually i guess 59: Career: Half-dead college student. (same fam) 60: hugs or kisses: Hugs 61: Lips or Eyes: Eyes 62: Short or tall: 5′2′’ 63: Older or younger: 5 years Older than my brother  64: Nice arms or stomach: None. I am a noodle 65: sensitive or loud: Sensitive. I will cry so easily.  66- Hook up or relationship: Relationship bc I will probably get attached easily.  67: Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. my brother’s the troublemaker
HAVE U EVER
68- Kissed a stranger: no 69- Drank hard liquor: hellNo 70: Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: I don’t wear glasses 71: Turned someone down: I dont even date so
PERSONAL
72: Sex on the first date: No. I need to know them better first! 73: Broken someone’s heart: Nope. 74- Had your heart broken: platonically? yes. My best friend moved away.  75- Have been Arrested: no 76: Cried when someone died: Oh yes. Both in real life and fictional 77: Fallen for a friend: Conflicted abt it tbh
DO U BELIEVE-
78: Yourself: I mean...yeah but at the same time trust nobody not even yourself 79: Miracles: depends. 80: Love at first sight: more like attracted at first sight. 81: Santa Claus: not really 82- Kiss on the first date: no. need to know them better first. 
MORE:
83- Current Best Friend: my best friend may have moved away but we still keep in touch (shoutout to my girl Anji)  84- Eye Color: Dark brown, though it’s more hazelly in sunlight. 85- Fav Movie: How to Train Your Dragon no question
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ihealthlove1-blog · 5 years
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11 Natural Tactics to Increase Your Memory
11 Natural Tactics to Increase Your Memory
Everyone has moments of forgetfulness every once in a while, especially if life gets busy. While this is sometimes a totally common occurrence, with a poor memory might be bothersome.
Genetics leads to memory loss, particularly in serious neurological conditions including Alzheimer’s disease. However, research has indicated that diet and lifestyle have a large impact on memory too.
Listed below are 11 evidence-based tactics to better your memory.
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1. Eat Added Sugar
Eating an excessive amount of added sugar was associated with a lot of medical issues and chronic diseases, for example, cognitive decline.
Research has shown that a sugar-laden diet can lead to bad memory and decreased brain volume, particularly in the area of the mind which shops short-term memory
For example, one research of over 4,000 individuals found those with a greater intake of sugary beverages like soda had lower overall brain volumes and poorer memories Normally than the individuals who consumed less sugar
Cutting sugar not just helps your own memory but also improves your overall wellbeing.
2. Try a Fish Oil Remedy
Fish oil is abundant with the omega-3 essential fatty acids eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA).
These fats are essential for overall wellness and also have been proven to lower the risk of Cardiovascular Disease, decrease inflammation, relieve stress and stress, and slow cognitive decline
Many reports have demonstrated that consuming fish and fish oil supplements may improve memory, particularly in older people. One study of 36 older adults with moderate cognitive impairment discovered that Shortterm and functioning memory scores improved considerably after they took concentrated fish oil supplements for 1–2 weeks
Another New study of 28 studies showed that when individuals with moderate symptoms of memory loss took supplements Full of DHA and EPA, like fish oil, they experienced enhanced episodic memory
Both the DHA and EPA are Essential to the health and functioning of the mind and also help reduce inflammation in the human body, which has been linked to cognitive decline
3. Be Time for Meditation
The practice of meditation could favorably impact your health in a variety of ways. It is soothing and relaxing, also it has been found to decrease stress and pain, lower blood pressure and even improve memory actually, meditation has been shown to increase grey matter from the brain. As You Get Older, grey matter declines, which adversely influences memory and cognition
Meditation and relaxation methods have been demonstrated to enhance Short Term memory in people of all ages, from people in their 20s into the elderly
As an Example, one study demonstrated that Taiwanese college students who engaged in meditation practices such as mindfulness had significantly better spatial working memory than pupils who did not practice meditation
Spatial working memory would be the capability to transport and process information in your mind about the places of objects in space.
4. Maintain a Healthy Body Weight
Maintaining a healthy weight is critical for well-being and is one of the most useful ways to maintain the entire body and mind in prime condition.
Many studies established obesity as a risk factor for cognitive decline. Lately, being fat may actually cause changes to memory-associated genes within the mind, negatively impacting memory
A study of 50 individuals between the ages of 18 and 35 found that a higher body mass index was associated with significantly worse performance on memory tests
5. Get Enough Sleep
Insufficient proper sleep has been related to poor memory for a long time.
Sleep plays an important role in memory consolidation, a process in which short-lived memories have been fortified and transformed into long-term memories.
Research demonstrates that if you’re sleep deprived, you might be negatively impacting your memory.
As an instance, 1 study looked at the consequences of sleep at 40 kids between the ages of 10 and 14.
One particular group of kids was trained for memory tests in the day, then tested the next morning after a night’s sleep. The other group was trained and analyzed on the exact same day, without the sleep between training and testing.
The team that slept between training and testing completed 20% better on the memory evaluations
Still another study found that nurses working at the night shift made more mathematical errors and that 68 percent of these scored lower on memory tests in comparison with nurses working daily shift
Health experts recommend adults undergo between seven and eight hours of sleep every single night for optimal health 6. Exercise Mindfulness
Mindfulness is just a mental condition where you concentrate on your present condition, maintaining an understanding of one’s surroundings and feelings.
Mindfulness is used in meditation, however, the 2 aren’t the same. Meditation is a more formal clinic, whereas mindfulness is an emotional habit it is possible to utilize within virtually any situation.
Studies have demonstrated that mindfulness is effective at lowering strain and improving memory and concentration.
1 analysis of 293 psychology pupils showed that those who experienced mindfulness instruction had improved recognition-memory functionality when recalling items compared to students who did not receive mindfulness training
Mindfulness has also been correlated with a lesser risk of age-related cognitive decline and general progress in psychological Wellbeing
Contain mindfulness methods to your everyday routine with paying more awareness of a present circumstance, focusing on your breath and lightly resetting your attention as soon as your mind wanders.
7. Drink Alcohol
Consuming too many alcoholic beverages can be detrimental to your health in a variety of ways and can negatively impact your memory.
Binge-drinking is actually a pattern of drinking which increases your blood alcohol levels to 0.08 g per ml or above. Studies have shown it changes the brain and ends in memory shortages.
A study of 155 school freshmen found that pupils who consumed six or more drinks within a short Time Period, either weekly or yearly, had problems in delayed and immediate memory-recall evaluations compared to pupils who never binge drank
Alcohol exhibits neurotoxic effects on mental performance. Repeated episodes of binge drinking may damage the hippocampus, a part of the mind that plays a Crucial role in memory
Whilst having a drink or two now and is absolutely healthy, avoiding excessive alcohol ingestion is an intelligent solution to safeguard your memory.
8. Train Your Brain
Exercising your cognitive skills by playing brain games is an enjoyable and effective method to improve your memory.
Crosswords, word-recall games, Tetris as well as mobile apps dedicated to memory training are all great methods to fortify memory.
Research that comprised 42 adults with mild cognitive impairment found that playing matches on a brain-training app for 2 hours within a four-week interval enhanced performance in memory tests
Another study of 4,715 people revealed that when they did 15minutes of an Internet brain-training schedule at least five days a week, their short-term memory, working memory, concentration and problem-solving improved significantly than a control group
Plus, brain-training games have been demonstrated to Reduce the risk of dementia in older adults
9. Cut Down on Refined Carbs
Consuming considerable amounts of processed carbohydrates like cakes, cereal, biscuits, white pasta, and white bread could be damaging to your memory.
These foods have a high glycemic index, which means that the body accomplishes that these carbs immediately, Resulting in a spike in blood glucose amounts
Studies show that the Western diet, which is high in refined carbohydrates, is associated with dementia, cognitive decline and decreased cognitive functioning
One study of 3–17 healthy children found that those who have more processed carbs like white rice, noodles, and fast food had decreased cognitive capability, including poorer short-term and working memory
Another study demonstrated that adults that consumed ready-to-eat breakfast daily had poorer cognitive function than people who consumed cereal frequently 10. Get Your Vitamin D Levels Tested
Vitamin D is also an important nutrient which plays many vital functions in your system. Elevated levels of vitamin D are linked to a host of medical problems, including a decrease in cognitive functioning.
Vitamin d lack is quite common, especially in colder climates and also in people with darker skin. Consult with your doctor about obtaining a blood test to figure out in the event you will need a vitamin D supplement.
11. Exercise More
Exercise is important for overall physical and mental wellbeing.
Research has shown that it’s beneficial for the brain and might help improve memory in people of all ages, from children to elderly adults.
As an Example, a study of 144 people aged 19 to 9–3 revealed a single bout of 15 minutes of moderate exercise on a static bicycle resulted in improved cognitive performance, for example, memory, across all ages
Many studies have shown exercise might boost the secretion of neuroprotective proteins and improve the growth and development of nerves, contributing to improved brain health.
Regular exercise in mid Life can also be correlated with a diminished risk of developing dementia later in life
The Most Important Thing
There are lots of fun, simple and even delicious ways to improve your memory. Exercising the mind and body, enjoying a quality piece of petroleum and lessening the amount of added sugar in your daily diet are typical excellent methods.
Try adding a couple of the science-backed methods to your daily routine to boost the human brain health insurance and keep your memory in prime shape.
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Tinkering with Cannabis: The First 90 Minutes Episode 69
Product: Hawaiian Haze Vape Cartridge
Manufacturer: Sira Naturals
Cannabis Connoisseur: Unknown
Location: Somerville, Ma
Website: www.siranaturals.org
Hello again to all my cannabis loving and canna-curious friends, and welcome back for another episode of The First 90 Minutes! Today we will be toking and talking about the awesome Vape I picked up from my friends at Sira Naturals, Hawaiian Haze. Unfortunately, I was unable to find a terpene profile for this strain, but this product works well for those who struggle with Bipolar Disorder, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, insomnia, loss of appetite, nausea, PTSD, and stress. It is a great candidate for those experiencing stress, anxiety, depression, pain, and fatigue. Consumers have found this strain to leave them feeling happy, uplifted, anxiety, euphoric, energetic, creative. The potential negatives of this strain are dry mouth, dry eye, dizziness, paranoia, and anxiety. Now that we have finished the background portion of this strain, let’s jump ahead to the testing portion. So, without further ado, let’s light up, sit back, and relax as we toke and talk about the first 90 minutes!
Starting this session off with one hit from my vape at 5:30 p.m. to help combat stress, anxiety, and bipolar low. I’m so tense this afternoon that I didn’t realize how badly I’d been clenching my teeth until I opened my mouth to yawn and got a shot of pain in my right jaw and right side molars. This is something that happens to me sometimes when I am severely stressed and anxious. The vape has a very muted floral scent, and tastes like pine and tropical fruit. At 5:36 p.m. the anxiety and stress I am feeling has decreased, leaving me with a feeling of pressure out on my chest. I feel like there is an overweight small dog sitting on my chest. 
At 5:40 p.m., I’m not sure what to do with myself right now. The anxiety and stress are continuing to fade away, but part of me is creating a second wind to this anxiety because I feel like I could go and get things done, and I have a bunch of creative ideas, but this has me mentally and physically feeling like I’d be equally as good to just hang at home. Physically, my shoulders, neck, and back are loosening up. It’s as if this strain hits all the right spots. I am noticing my bipolar low is starting to feel more euphoric, more upbeat.
At 6:00 p.m., I have decided to sit down and work on some crocheting. I tend to enjoy this when I am anxious and stressed out, and right now this in combination with the rapidly declining anxiety and stress is a great fit for my needs. The tension in my back, neck, and shoulders has loosed quite a bit. With all these shifts, my mood has also shifted to a euphoric, happy, and creative place. I sort of feel like my Bipolar might be shifting a little toward the manic side as the effects set in. Although I am not destructively manic, I do feel that my low has crossed the barrier from low to slightly manic as the euphoria continues to increase.
At 6:30 p.m., my mind has totally drifted away from me as I’ve completely engulfed myself in crocheting and that is holding my entire focus. My mood is still euphoric, happy, and I’m a creative space. The tension areas have eased up significantly, leaving my body feeling more relaxed too. The euphoria that was pushing me toward a slight manic phase has now stabilized and I am in a happier space.
Rounding the corner to our 90-minute mark, I am experiencing a mindset that is only able to process one thing at a time, but I feel very at ease. The anxiety and stress are completely gone, and my bipolar mood has remained stable since the last check-in. There are no negatives to report, and I’ll keep you posted as to how long this strain lasts. 
The effects continued until 7:35 p.m., where I am left feeling calm and mellow, both in body and mind. My Bipolar symptoms have leveled out and I am left in a happy and level space. I did experience some slight anxiety as a negative, but once I got myself up and moving that anxiety was gone. Personally, I enjoyed this strain. I think it is a great daytime strain if you want to be relaxed and creative. I really enjoyed this strain, which is why I’m giving this strain five stars ⭐️. Great job Sira, keep up the great work!
If you are a patient, or adult above the age of 21 in Massachusetts, check out the following link for where you can purchase this product:
https://www.siranaturals.org/where-to-buy-cannabis-massachusetts
Well my friends, we have reached the end of this review. Thank you for joining me and stay tuned for more product reviews!
Disclaimer:
*****Please remember, this blog is an account of my personal experience with this product. Not everyone has the same experience with every product and that is okay. I always recommend starting out with one or two hits to see if that is enough , and you can always increase your dose from there.*****
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paulpowder2-blog · 5 years
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How To Beat Bloating & Customize Your Diet: An Overview Of Ben Greenfield’s Gut Results From Viome (& How To Know Which Foods Are Right For You).
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This audio/video overview by Dr. Ally Perlina of Viome goes in depth on my latest gut microbiome testing results from Viome. In this episode, you'll learn how to customize your diet and lifestyle based on the genetics of your gut.
Dr. Perlina is the chief translational science officer at Viome. She leads the Viome team on the development of actionable pathway analytics, functional microbiome profiling, and integration of Viome test results into food and supplement recommendation logic.
Ally came to Viome from working with Dr. Craig Venter at Human Longevity, Inc. She brings over 17 years of industry experience, which include Thomson Reuters, Quest Diagnostics, and several startup organizations where she led R&D groups, scientific product development efforts, and translated knowledge and insights from clinical data analyses into actionable results. She’s a world-class expert in pathway analysis and translational systems biology, which are critical in addressing the complexities of health and disease from different data types in a meaningful holistic way. This cross-functional perspective and passion for making scientifically powered precision medicine insights actionable and scalable has been Ally’s driving force ever since she was investigating gene expression correlates of brain tumors and patient drug response at UCLA while getting her doctorate training in human genetics.
Ally’s ability to “translate” the signals from genomics, transcriptomics, metabolomics, etc., into something valuable for human health today allows her to lead a diverse team of scientific, clinical, and nutritional experts that, together with data science, make truly personalized Viome recommendations with molecular-level precision
To learn more about Viome and what it is, you can click here or check out these previous resources I've created on this cutting-edge way to test all the bacteria in your gut, along with the postbiotics they produce:
This review is a sneak peek into Viome’s next App release, including the new microbiome scores! The content of this video involves a personalized review for Ben Greenfield on June 20, 2019, based on an expert deep-dive into his microbiome data. What Viome productizes in this next release are the most robust features available based on actionability, literature coverage, and individual data patterns. These results and recommendations are unique to Ben and will differ from your own results and recommendations that Viome assesses from your unique microbiome. Viome does not offer personalized data review as a service at this time.
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During today's episode, you'll discover:
– My gastrointestinal summary…7:23
Most important themes to address are several specific functions dealing with digestive efficiency
Active microbes: There are 134 active microbial species detected in the sample, which means that “richness” is within the average range but may need improvement.
No active eukaryotes were detected
There are 2 active plant viruses:
Prunus necrotic ringspot
Pepper mild mottle
– Overall microbial richness…9:50
My score is 134 out of 400; average score (5-95 percentile)
The microbial could use a boost, but nothing too alarming
Recommended foods:
Sauerkraut enriches and diversifies the microbiome
Walnuts increase microbial diversity
Olive oil contains MUFAs, which are a group of fatty acids; weight management, increases bacterial diversity, decreases inflammation
Recommended supplements:
– Metabolic fitness score…18:35
My score is good, in the 18th percentile of the Viome population (improved from Sep. 2018)
– Inflammatory activity…21:10
My overall score is AVERAGE
LPS biosynthesis pathways: average
Methane gas production pathways: needs improvement
Sulfide gas production pathways: needs improvement
Flagella assembly pathways: average
Biofilm, chemotaxis, virulence pathways: average
Balance is the goal, not optimal scores in every area
Although the score is “average” it's on the higher end of the spectrum
– Proinflammatory microbial activity, and active pro-inflammatory pathways that indicate potential GI inflammation…32:40
– Butyrate production pathways and active butyrate producers…45:45
Overall score is GOOD
Butyrate is good for metabolic fitness
Regulates satiety, good for insulin sensitivity
Goes hand in hand with inflammation scores
Butyrate is a Short Chain Fatty Acid (SCFA); associated with beneficial functions for the host
Resistant starches and fibers: resist the digestive system of the host
– SCFA production pathways and active SCFA producing microbes…51:40
In addition to butyrate: acetate, acetyl phosphate
Active probiotic in my sample
Many different pathways that lead to butyrate production
– Recommendations for my diet…55:23
– Digestive efficiency…59:20
My overall score is AVERAGE
Protein fermentation: needs improvement
Gas production: needs improvement
Methane gas production pathways: needs improvement
Sulfide gas production pathways: needs improvement
Putrescine production pathways: needs improvement
Butyrate production pathways: good
Salt stress pathways: good
Protein fermenters and active protein fermentation pathways
Omithine
Putrescine
Cadaverine
Ammonia
Urea
Recommendations related to protein fermentation:
– Hydrogen sulfide production pathways and hydrogen sulfide producing microbes…1:15:50
Exacerbated by certain foods
Disruptive to the gut lining
Proinflammatory if produced in excess
Sulfate (or sulfite) is deleterious
Recommendations specific to microbial gas production, particularly hydrogen sulfide:
– Vitamins produced by the gut microbes and detox of the microbiome…
– And much more…
Resources mentioned:
– Viome (save $250 on your kit when you use this link)
Episode sponsors:
– Kion: My personal playground for new supplement formulations, Kion blends ancestral wisdom with modern science. Ben Greenfield Fitness listeners receive a 10% discount off your entire order when you use discount code: BGF10.
– Four Sigmatic: I’ve been using Four Sigmatic products for a while now and I’m impressed by the efficacies of their mushroom products. I use them. I like them. I support the mission! Receive 15% off your Four Sigmatic purchase when you use discount code: BENGREENFIELD
– Clearlight Saunas: You can be sure that I researched all the saunas before I bought mine and Clearlight was the one that stood out from all the rest because of their EMF and ELF Shielding and their Lifetime Warranty. Use discount code: BENGREENFIELD to get $500 off your sauna and a free bonus gift!
– Zip Recruiter: As your qualified candidates roll in, we make it easy to screen & rate them, allowing you to make the best hiring decisions for your business. Try it for free when you use my link!
Do you have questions, thoughts or feedback for Dr. Ally or me? Leave your comments below and one of us will reply!
Ask Ben a Podcast Question
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Source: https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/podcast/nutrition-podcasts/gut-microbiome-testing/
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Anime Expo 2017 Day 1
Day 1 didn’t even feel like day 1 after yesterday. It felt closer to day 2 or 3 (which led to remembering that today actually was day 1). In proper AX tradition (for me), I saw Aqours on Saturday (last year for the welcome event, this year for their panel). While Karly ended up waking up about two hours after her alarm, I woke up much earlier than I would normally- 7 AM. I sort of just waited until she and her family woke up, using School Idol Festival and Starlight Stage as a surprisingly long distraction. The other majority of the time went towards stressing out over a scare involving the Aqours panel- according to somebody from the line (yes, at 7 AM), there were 90 total seats in the panel, leading to a massive collective panic attack from attendees. However, 90 soon turned into 2,000, which then turned into 1,000, and finally settled at 500. When we actually did leave (10:40), I at least had the assurance of a friend waiting in line. I had originally intended on going straight to the convention center, buying my day’s worth of merchandise, and then going to the Marriott for the Aqours panel. Little did I expect the entrance line to stretch for over three blocks. I ended up leaving the line to go back to the Marriott, as that was a better use of time. I found my friend on the third floor waiting outside of the diamond ballroom. I found this to be a good place to play School Idol Festival (as it was for a Love Live event and I wouldn’t be the odd one out in playing it) and attempted to survive for the long wait. 1:00 came, and I had met Edwin’s friend from Tennessee by then. We were all discussing Love Live in general for a good amount of time. The line began to snake into the ballroom at about 1:20, just 10 minutes before the projected start time. Our original thought was that we had underwhelming seats (in the first group of rows to the left), but after looking at the surroundings, it was legitimately a near-perfect area. It just so happened that Aqours was to sit in that exact location of the room, which left us within 20 feet of the girls. After noticing that, it was also noticed that the looping video showing on the center screen was the exact video from the previous year’s Aqours event, although some new clips were added for the ambassador program. After engaging in some somewhat questionable activity (something something idol concert-type cheering stuff), Aqours walked in. It was at this time that I realized just how surreal this situation was. 9 girls, who I had been watching through a screen for a year, were within 20 feet of me. 9 girls from Japan, who voiced some of my favorite fictional characters, were talking in front of me nearly exactly how they had done so live. The actual event was almost completely filled by the three episodes aired. The voice actresses talked to the audience for a bit beforehand before retreating back to the room they had been waiting in. Other than that, the event was pretty much what was expected. After this, my friend and I decided to go shopping (but not before getting food). It was at this point that I realized just how insane the situation was back at the convention center. The exhibition hall was PACKED. My original plan was to buy merchandise from the Atlus booth, but that was quickly shot down by the cut-off line. It also took a surprisingly long amount of time to find the Bushiroad booth, which already had problems in merchandise arriving successfully. In order to obtain stickers, partially in the hopes of getting a signed sticker, one (or many) must spend at least 20 dollars, with one being given per 20$. Our purchase totaled at 140$. While he made the majority of the purchases (Aqours Club CD, Kowareyasuki, and a shirt), I bought a messenger bag (mostly to help me carry everything), which left the total sitting at 130$ until I bought a Yoshiko keychain for the ambassador program. In the end, our lack of certain stickers and signatures was disappointing, but expected. I ended up taking the Riko and Chika stickers (because RikoChika tbh) while he took Mari, Dia, Kanan, You, and Ruby. After that, we split up for a bit (him for a break, me for the Hatsune Miku booth). While it did take much longer than expected to find the nearly hidden booth, I left with a Hatsune Miku shirt, watch, and sticker, all for 30$. This was actually my last purchase of the day, mostly due to the long lines at every booth. After this, I mostly just walked around, seeing if I would end up spending any more throughout the day. Once the exhibition hall closed, I moved over to the entertainment hall. In it, I saw many anime-themed vehicles (iDOLM@STER motorcycle, Hatsune Miku car, etc). At some point, I found a booth centered around gambling machines. I ended up playing an Evangelion-themed slot machine and got two sets of matching icons (I thought it was rigged until another person and I tested it). At this point, I was sort of tired and ready to go back. That was pretty much the end of the day.
Total Spent: 75$
1 messenger bag: 35$
Yoshiko keychain: 10$
10th Anniversary Hatsune Miku Shirt (also + free watch/sticker): 30$
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justgothehellhome · 7 years
Text
Little Rant about BPD.
So I figured I’d finally discuss something I rarely discuss, but it’s been on my mind alot. I noticed alot of people throwing around the diagnosis “BPD” alot. As if it’s some cool thing to have. Borderline Personality Disorder is not a trend. SO that being said here’s a typical list of what it’s like having Borderline Personality Disorder along with a few little facts.
1. I either feel way too much or nothing at all.. complete numbness. 2. Even though I have done years of intensive therapy and am on my 2nd year of DBT I still struggle processing my emotions and talking about them in a healthy manner. 3. Relationships ESPECIALLY romantic ones are very hard for me. Alot of it is hot and cold then ends with me smothering the person or being scared I’ll smother them and then that they’ll leave. 4. I constantly romantically get involved with people who treat me poorly, this is what I’m use to. Recently I’ve been getting involved with someone new and it’s constantly me testing their limits and seeing how far I can push. There’s many tests and they’re so nice that it actually makes me angry. - Very confusing. 5. Emotions for me are weakness as is crying.. feeling love is a sign of weakness in yet I want to drown people with it. 6. Alot of my behaviors have improved through treatment: I no longer abuse hard substances/drugs nor drink heavily (as much) I have struggled with a self harm addiction for 10 years and am now 6 months clean (I had a few slips) 7. However as I said for number 6, there’s still some behaviors I hold on to as they have lived with me throughout my whole life and developing a identity without them scares me: My Bulimia. I am in my third round of treatment for it and I’m scared. 8. Sometimes in order for me to not get hurt I will purposely drive people away and then cry and be devastated once they’re gone…this happens alot. 9. Sometimes I leave first because I am beginning to feel and I don’t want to be left and have these feelings and just I’m scared of all these feelings and me. 10. I often am okay and then suddenly I’m not and am very nasty, irritable and hurtful to people who are very close to me. 11. I can not stand seeing someone upset..I will obsessively try to fix it, fix them and blame myself if I can’t and even ask 20-30 times if I did something…you can say I didn’t, but I will still obsess over it. 12. Sometimes I am still so disgusted with myself that I want to tear my skin off and scream. 13. I use to be really spiteful especially with lovers. In a way maybe it was manipulative. When my ex and I lived together and we would get in a fight and then I would give him the silent treatment and lock myself in the bathroom until he would beg and cry for me to talk to him. - He was always scared I was cutting. However our relationship was a very “I hate you, don’t leave me” relationship. Parts of me wondered if he suffered from BPD as well for different reasons. 14. It took me a very LONG TIME to break away from suicidal tendencies. The thoughts sometimes come and go, but they are no longer acts. 15. For a long time self harm/cutting was the only way for me to feel okay. Sometimes it kept my emotions in check, sometimes it was because I was angry and needed to calm down, sometimes I was punishing myself. 16. I have had traumatic life experiences happen to me involving physical/emotional abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse as a child along with other tragic situations that lead me to develop PTSD. 17. Sometimes if I’m so emotionally stressed/hyped I will dissociate and not know it. 18. Friendships are VERY difficult with me, as I am a possessive jealous friend. And it confuses me. 19. I still struggle with thinking people are talking about me/laughing at me or hate me. This makes work hard but I manage. 20. Before DBT and various forms of treatment I could not hold down a job and had a fear of being alone anywhere. Now my job is very successful. 21. I struggle with perfection and AM OVERLY hard on myself even if you say I didn’t disappoint you..I feel like I did. 22. Being left/abandoned is my BIGGEST trigger and can still lead me to emotional episodes/spirals. 23. I hate being yelled at but can never tell if I’m yelling…I don’t mean to and I don’t know I am. All I know is I’m emotionally stressed and overwhelmed. 24. If I’m having a crying episode, do not leave nor insult or yell at me this will trigger an extremely emotional response and could lead to me attempting to use unhelpful coping skills. 25. I don’t mean to insult you, I don’t. I don’t mean to be this way, just don’t leave. I’m sorry I put you on a pedestal and rip it out from underneath constantly. 26. Love me unconditionally scars and all even if I am too afraid to feel anything. 27. My friend once described me and our relationship like this “Kayla I walk on eggshells around you constantly and I feel like sorry is never enough. Like let’s say we’re throwing rocks and one rock bounces off an object and hits you and I apologize, but you’re so upset and blame everything on me and tell me you hate me. Even though it was an accident you’re convinced it was done on purpose.” -Our friendship was never easy, I’m not easy. 28. I get bad days where I just cry and hate myself and am too scared to look in the mirror, I’ll ask you for reassurance 80 times, don’t get annoyed. 29. If I’m telling you something, do not reply with one word. Instantly I will feel as if I’m a burden, annoyed you/upset you, that you’re angry at me and think I’m pathetic and hate me now. 30. Even in a argument I will not stop talking, I will go on and on until I receive a response. This argument will later lead to me sincerely apologizing a million times. 31. I genuinely do want to get better and improve but there’s some things I worry that will not successfully be improved..alot of it revolves around my communication, thought process and emotional response. 32. I do take medication to treat my SYMPTOMS. However no medication can actually treat BPD. Anti depressants can be taken for depression, anxiety medication for anxiety, etc, but no medication can truly treat BPD. BPD improves over time with the correct treatment. 33. My treatment is a mix of psycho therapy, CBT & DBT along with EMDR/Trauma therapy and seeing a eating disorder nutritionist along with psychiatrist. - I am lucky I can afford and receive this help as many can not or are simply not ready for that step. 34. There’s a constant need and seek of approval in me and if I don’t get it I obsess over it and get scared. 35. I can’t stand it when people hate me, it kills me. But if I hate you, then well in my head you simply fell off the face of the earth..even if I do text you to tell you how much I hate you. 36. I am insecure with a big heart who has given pieces of herself to many people and who has even tried to find herself in broken people. In the end I am still fragile, but also venomous and ready to strike at any second. I need reassurance, comfort and for you to be patient even as I spit venom. 37. My life in treatment now revolves around Wise Mind VS. Emotional Mind VS. Reasonable Mind.. except my mind is in mostly an emotional space..oops. 38. In a sense my family and I are almost estranged, but have a love hate relationship. 39. I grew up with a mother who has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder, so that love/hate along with hot/cold runs wild between us even as we hold onto old grudges and use them against each other constantly. 40. At 16, I couldn’t be home anymore so I dropped out of highschool and moved out. This was the best option for me as my behavior was overwhelming and I needed high emotional care/affection and that was something my family could not give me due to the “emotions=weakness” moto in my family 41. I spend alot of time over thinking/ over analysing my actions and words along with others and things that they’ve said (whether real or imagined/me reading in between the lines or thinking/assuming what was truly said. 42. Borderline isn’t “cool.” This is not a cool thing, as I have permanently damaged my body, have hurt many along with allowed them to do the same, attempted suicide 6 times and had to literally learn to resist suicidal tendencies/day dreams. Constant need for validation and attention then becoming uncomfortable and feeling smothered when it’s there is overwhelming. Intense emotions are overwhelming.
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