3-19-24

And the world continues to spin. That is very hyperbolic for a person that has no real problems. As of right now. My current life consist of going to work 5 days a week and taking care of patients. They are not sick they are just injured. So that much is nice. I am attempting to learn to breath before I panic. This morning when I woke up I looked and was paid for my job and the first 1/2 of the paycheck had been deposited but the bulk had not. So this had happened before and my actual payday isn't until the 20th anyway. I decided not to panic and start reacting but instead see where everything settled. I did and the rest of the funds materialized like normal.

I am attempting to be less reactionary. I am trying to be more centered in who I am and what I do. There is a time and a place for action but that is once you actually know what is going on in a situation and not assuming what is going on. I feel like I do need to keep an ear out for new work. I may reach out to old co-workers and just see how things are going. I'm not sure just yet but it is good to have options open.

I have ideas swirling in my head for things to do in my zombie story but I have not had the time or inclination to implement them. I have an exam due today and I still need to study some more on that. I think I will do fine. I am understanding the material I believe but it is not sticking as well as I would like. Then there is still part of me that would like to learn how to code. I think I will try that during the summer break. Although I should just take some classes at Brookhaven to get them though with as well. I could do the history and language classes there. I think it would be cheaper and easier. I want to get into my creative writing classes but as a sophomore I have a few more credits to get out of the way.

I have not been great on my diet. I have been snacking and I didn't bring anything to eat with me today. So there is some pizza in the fridge so I might just go for that later today. We have a toaster oven here anyway so maybe it won't be so bad. Is 5 day old pizza still good? I am sure it's fine.

As with all of my journaling I will inevitably fall to the video games I happen to be playing at the time. I will be honest as a 41 year old nerd I don't have a lot going on in my life. So I am now working through yakuza 3. I have gotten to the point where I think I am almost to the final confrontation. I am going back and getting all of the revelations that I had missed before I realize now I think I could have gotten them the whole time but this is where we are. Yakuza 0,1,2, and 6 are all on special with xbox right now. I think I am going to go spend 20 bucks on them and play though all of them. I kinda wish there was a little more RPG going on but it's still fun stuff. I have not gotten into the mini games that much but Haruka did just beat my ass in bowling. I will report back later.

It's funny to me how The Sims 2 still showed up in the top 100 video games tags for 2023 Tumblr Year In Review. Against all odds, we're still relevant. Cockroach ass game.

Went to a convention. Didn’t find any tes merch

Tell me your thoughts about gameplay and story integration in video games :3

(THANKS ILY TOO!)

Video games are a super interesting medium because it's all about leveraging player behavior and choice. A lot of game design fundamentals are about giving the player freedom, or the illusion of freedom. The game maker sets the rules, and the player organically develops behaviors and strategies within those rules. If you want the player to act a certain way, you have to encourage them to act in that way. (Watch one of the bazillion analysis videos on Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 sometime.)

In games there are ways to punish a player (death, losing progress, jumpscares, etc) and there are ways to reward a player (score go up, unlock new thing, get more power, etc). Story can be part of that, and it can go beyond "play well = good end, play poorly = bad end."

I think, if you're going to use a video game to tell your story, you should really take advantage of it, you know? Flex the medium. Leverage the inherent immersion that comes with the player Interacting With The Game. Inscryption and Undertale are So Video Game that you can't adapt it to a different medium without significant rework. They are video games because they have to be video games. That doesn't make them automatically good, but a good storyteller would choose the medium that works best with their story and that confidence just oozes out, in a good way.

You don't even have to get all 4th wall meta with your video game plot. In Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, the main Gimmick is that you have a time-traveling dagger. You can use it to make combat sequences easier, you can use it to solve puzzles, but it's also integral to the entire experience. The time travel sets up the framed narrative, which pays homage to the literature that serves as the game's inspiration. The central conflict is resolved with the time travel mechanic. In gameplay, you make mistakes, experience consequences in battle, learn and do things correctly the next time around, which is the Prince's entire character arc. Even basic game mechanics are part of the story -- when you save, you get "tips and tricks!" in the form of visions that will help you solve puzzles, but some of those visions are plot-relevant. The menu itself has flavor dialogue that is part of the narrative frame and is also hilarious.

Some other examples: Papers, Please! explores bureaucracy as a tool of dehumanization under authoritarian governements, and the gameplay is all fine print and form-filling and menus. In GOW 2018, there are enemies that have elemental weaknesses, so you end up having to switch weapons. (This is a really common thing to do: new area w/ new enemies requires new weapon.) You unlock the Blades of Chaos so that you can enter Helheim. The Blades also have a backstory, and using them means something in Kratos's character arc, it's a whole Thing. In metroidvanias, you unlock new abilities so you can access new parts of the story and find things you missed the first time around -- really good for worldbuilding and creating a sense of depth to a location (the world of Blasphemous comes to mind). Majora's Mask gives you anxiety.

A buddy once asked if I thought a good plot could carry a crappy game, and my answer is no. You can't absorb the story if the primary mode of interacting with the story is unplayable. If the gameplay is detracting from the story, then you should make a movie or write a novel. Video games are experiences: gameplay should serve story, story should serve gameplay. *Tetris: Effect Voice* it's all connected!

I just enjoy it when stories are told in mediums that suit them best. It's satisfying! It's fun! Makes my brain go :D

why did my teachers think it was okay to give us like one single weekend to finish all of our midterm projects and study for our tests.

You best believe I’m searching “Morrowind soundtrack slowed” “Morrowind soundtrack epic” “Morrowind soundtrack orchestra” “Morrowind soundtrack nightcore” “Morrowind soundtrack-” anything every few months so I can see if anyone’s made another spin on Nerevar Rising again for me to listen to a collective 20 hours again

anyway this is what i was actually trying to find. fucking thinking about this.

seeing fanart of pecharunt-controlled pokemon based on how the loyal three's designs is just the "deoxys-infected" pokemon of the 2020s.

Hey guys, if you're looking forward to Justin Roiland's High On Life, consider just playing Psychonauts 1 and 2 instead

Tears of the Kingdom spoilers? Barely. But putting it under a cut anyways just in case. Have a meme

This is the one and only 'spoiler' I've seen and it's also the most important one actually

Honestly the funniest thing about Haruka's idol story line in y5 (and dont any of you come at me with the You're Lessening Mirei's Evil Heinous Actions shit, I know she was the antagonist, blah blah) is the fact that as far as traineeships go Haruka's.... wasn't all that unusual- Living on your own away from your parents? Par the course. Having older figures be unduly harsh about your talent/looks? Also par the course. Insane schedules? Creepy fans? Yep. In fact Haruka is older than a lot of people are when they start traineeships nowadays... Like that aspect of the game could have been played up for even more dramatic value than it was.

Genuine realization that just hit me:

We know the 'Sephiroths' we see throught most of VII are either the clones from Nibelhiem or parts of Jenova itself. At very least, you fight Jenova three times (on the ship to Costa del Sol, after Aerith's death, and right before the twist at the Norther Crater), so those Three Sephiroths in particular are actually Jenova.

Which means, Jenova itself was the one that killed Aerith. Which is probably common knowledge.

BUT

We know from the real Nibelhiem flashback that Cloud stabbed Sephiroth though the back in front of Jenova, who couldn't do anything to stop him, in the Nibelhiem reactor. She watched Her Son get stabbed through the back. He didn't see Cloud coming, but She did.

So is that why 'Sephiroth' kills Aerith by stabbing her through the back? Not just to torture Cloud, but to make him suffer the same tragedy? We can easily assume Cloud saw Sephiroth falling from above, but Aerith probably didn't, and Cloud could do nothing to stop it.

It was the perfect revenge. Jenova's perfect revenge.

***Correction: The Cetra had to find a way to keep Jenova's soul/consciousness from entering the Lifestream but also keep her subdued, so we can assume she can see has some kind of consciousness before her head is chopped off.

I don't know how to tell you guys this, but concurrent player numbers dropping a few weeks after a game's release is actually, a very normal thing

INTERNET: DONE.

phone and laptop are much faster than before, woooo. haven't tried the TV yet. my work computer stubbornly refuses to go above 76mbps, but coworker and I have deduced that it's bc my boss bought a Shitty Bad Computer with a Bad Wifi Box, which is hilarious bc it was marketed as a gaming PC.

Wow, the one time Im not chronically horny is when my nsft blog notifs blow up 😔

vayu HRAUGHHH! noise dot mp4