#10 years my god I’m old
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever
#talking#edit: i changed the caption you guys are so annoying lmfao#i didn’t mean anything by it at all if you think i’m equating being old with bad that’s entirely a you problem.. someone easily 20+ years#older than me is in fact an old ass guy to me sorry i didn’t realize the uses tumblr at age 30-40 community was gonna stroll up on my post#you guys are so sensitive my god#i call one of my closest friends and family members who are all 10-20 years older than me old all the time you guys need to learn not to#take shit so seriously and also don’t lecture me on my joke post
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I can’t explain how fucking inconvenient a lack of local transport is
#here’s the thing. I’m a 21 year old. I don’t drive. I don’t want to drive. not because I have the expectation that#ppl should drive me everywhere. but because I’m unbiasedly aware I’d be a danger to myself and others if I ever got behind a wheel#ok? ok. that means I’m greatly limited to what a person my age — a person settled into an urban environment- is#there’s no bus in my area. no taxi service. there’s exactly 10 people in my village who have a license. I can’t go grocery shopping.#I can’t run errands. I can’t get issues solved. delivery places won’t deliver in my area because the distance is too big#just. GOD. It’s so fucking frustratating watching politicians— my policitians especially— throw their money on stupid shit#when the community structure is barely holding on to life. so fucking enraged#rant#text
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#old man yaoi#princess jellyfish#jiji#presented without context#except the tags where i’m saying i’m rewatching princess jellyfish#GOOD FUCKING ANIME#GOOD FUCKING SHOW#some bits are a little dated as many 10+ year old anime tend to be#(OH GOD ITS 10+ YEARS OLD……..)#but. overall. good show. good heart#i NEED jiji to be the old man fuckers mascot#also need my tag for this#old man fuckery#kuragehime
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I feel like the reason why my past two autism obsessions being media that the average high school graduate should be able to at least kind of grasp has been driving me up the wall isn’t that I’m not being stimulated or challenged or whathaveyou but more that the ppl I come across are so deeply incapable of actually wrapping their minds around it in their 30s. how are u 36 and basic analysis of Jane Eyre has u on the ropes
#I’m going back to big kid media so help me god. I’m rereading cursed meat book#foaming at the mouth bc someone drew Katniss as Native I think ur 10 year old son needs help w his homework#‘Bertha was an abuser’ don’t worry about her worry about your 401k!!!!!!#it’s not even that u have a wrong opinion about my little hamsters it’s that ur opinions would have u failing Baby English Class#like I feel like I need to feed u oats out of my flat palm#thg#je
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So Comic-Con announced they’re doing/releasing an animated gaang movie of them as adults instead of the kyoshi series and how much you wanna bet it’s bc of the lesbianism -.-
#avatar kyoshi#rangi x kyoshi#rangshi#atla#lok#gawd I wish atla wasn’t considered a kids show#like yes 10 year old me loved it when it was released but I’m sick of censorship#GIVE ME THE GAY KYOSHI SERIES GIVE ME THE GAY KORRA SERIES#I’m not saying show them finger banging each other but my god we deserve kisses and romantic moments like fucking Kataang#that age difference is so nasty but korrasami couldn’t kiss in the finale lmao okay#anygays…#i may be bitter
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I saw your ff7 vs bb meme and now I am curious
who do you like more, Bloody crow or Sephiroth? 🤣
mother of god, if that ain’t the question of the year. um.
I’ll choose the best answer and just say Eileen the Crow because she wins and most likely wouldn’t try to kill me if she was real, so there, I’m free. Yipeeee!!!
Ok fineeeee—a specific answer just for you:
Bloody Crow wins by default because Soulsborne is just my “home” fandom forever. Besides LOTR ofc. But that fandom is too big and old for me to feel like I could find a secure space, so Soulsborne it is and has been for years. I just live here, and Crow is the only Soulsborne character besides Lady Maria, Eileen, and Ciaran that I really, really went to work for in terms of developing a backstory and complicated personality for. He is more like an original character at this point for me specifically, and so very precious. My crow boi <3
Sephiroth is weird because he feels like a character I have been looking for or “knew” for years, but it doesn’t make sense lol. I grew up surrounded by friends that loved FF7 and I never got it…I guess?
In fact, I actually didn’t like it sjdhshs. I admittedly judged by appearance, but I was like, “The characters all look like these bizarre supermodel action figures with oversized weapons!!”
Meanwhile, my hypocritical ass with Soulsborne:
“It’s peak game design.”
But I really did not like Final Fantasy or FF7. I would see Sephiroth around, specifically the shot of him surrounded by flames from Advent Children, and just think, “There’s that fucking guy again” and I ignored him. I didn’t figure out until later that the reason he pissed me off so much is because I knew, I just absolutely knew, that if I gave him my attention for longer than five seconds, he would probably take over my life. Help.
I was terrified. I even remember seeing some of the Remake trailers a few years back and actually hearing some of his lines for the first time, and I kid you not, I felt the slightest pull of, “Wait…” and then IMMEDIATELY went, “Nope, fuck you” in my head and walked away 💀
My reaction to him was always incredibly visceral, so naturally, one night I was having a chill discussion with my friend ABOUT BLOODY CROW from Bloodborne and somehow we ended up making a Sephiroth comparison of course, and then it happened.
I was like, “Oh hahaha yeah Sephiroth, that guy. Let me watch some clips to remember what he’s all about again, hahahaa.”
Hours passed and I didn’t sleep that night, like at all. I watched every available canonical cutscene video compilation of Sephiroth on the internet and read every bit of information I could find and immediately started playing the FF7 games and reading fan-fiction and listening to One-Winged Angel for entire days on repeat and talking with people on tumblr and twitter and researching for seven days without sleep until I emerged to burn down a small village and AAAAA—so yeah.
I was freaking out, like literally trying to tell myself to stop as I just kept falling down the rabbit hole. I was so mad. It took over 20 years but I finally caved and here we are. I’m not okay. This character actually makes me insane, and believe it or not, it’s not even simping. I’m aroace as hell and pretty impervious. He just gives me brain severe damage for weirdly personal reasons. Lmao.
I’m honestly shocked with my level of self-control because I want to write essays on the character but I just stay pretty quiet.
So anyway, I guess I just like characters with silver hair :)))
Much love, anon <3
#god i’m so tired#sorry anon gfdhyjus#it was a simple question but i am bursting at the seams here#see i am writing Crow myself so he is just forever special but i rarely have had an actually developed character affect me so specifically#i don’t…get to have this very often?? I guess?? like characters other people have written that i actually have a personal connection to??#it’s either that or i’m just reliving my 10 year old self’s obsession with vader/anakin skywalker again because i loved villains as a kid#who knows#anyway i’m normal#lol#asks#anonymous#bloody crow of cainhurst#sephiroth#ff7 vs bloodborne#fandom stuff
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my mum really had a brilliantly cringe funeral
#parental death tw#sorry i have been up too late so you’re getting Intensely Personal Posts From C#but like.#the walk-in music(????) was i miss you by blink 182#and 10 year old me (with no clue what how to process any of this) absolutely LOVED it#i listen to that song now and think ‘this man’s vocals are quite annoying actually’#but i remember my dad trying to find appropriate music and it was nearly the smiths so i think we won overall#as i always say#it’s fine and i’m fine#but you sure remember it#rip Mine Own Mother you would’ve loved mcr tumblr i guess#12 years!! good god!!!! it’s something innit
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I…
So I grew up watching The Simpsons. And maybe I shouldn’t have, but hey, it was the 90s and parent-sanctioned family time to watch a show that was definitely inappropriate for little-little kids.
Anyways.
I knew Phil Hartman, voice of Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz died in 1998, when I was seven. I knew he died and was sad about it. I missed his characters.
MOTHERFUCKER I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD—30-FUCKING-2 TO BE EXACT—WHEN I FOUND OUT, FROM A YOUTUBE THUMBNAIL, THAT HE WAS MURDERED. IN HIS SLEEP. BY AN EX-PARTNER.
WHAT THE FUCK
#I assumed he was old and just passed away. maybe he was sick. how do you explain to a 7yo that a voice actor was MURDERED#and idk the state of the show nowadays but esp in its earlier seasons it was definitely meant to push boundaries and yeah#I don’t think I should’ve been to it before the age of 8 to 10#at minimum. but also. SO much just flew over my head. and we know now I. autistic and my parents are autistic#and do you know how many echolalia swims we all have from that show? 😂😅#*stims goddamn you autocorrect. every day the apple company curses my tags. I miss having an actual keyboard god damn it#apple talks#to the tune of spam#my parents weren’t naive enough to think all animation is for kids like there were plenty of shows I hasn’t allowed to watch as a kid#but idk man. for some reason the Simpsons and the critic were a-okay#but king of the hill wasn’t?? honestly I think it had more to do with whether or not my dad in particular liked a show than whether or not#it was deemed ‘appropriate for children’#my mom tried to ban me from watching sailor moon bc she said it was just ‘little girls jumping around in short skirts being saved by the boy#like hi mom I’m gay. and also watched it in secret for several years. she never found out. I told her long after bc I thought it was#hilarious. mostly she was just mad bc my grandpa was supposed to be watching me lmao
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Idk this is really crazy and I should just find a way to share my story of my addiction because it is a God given miracle that I am alive today lol. Where would I even share that? My dad has had a few books published and he knows publishers. I’ve discussed writing a joint book of prose with him and releasing it just as something special for our families and friends, something special for us too. Perhaps I could make it part bio part prose and just write about it…. I need that story to be put out there, it would blow someone’s mind, and I would love to inspire somebody. Gosh if I could drive and had time I would be out there helping addicts in a second. Imagine saving an addicts life and she goes back to raise her children… i met so many mothers in rehab who didn’t have it in them to quit. Imagine being that person that plants the seed! Im so passionate and if only I had the chance!
#Not joking I have overdosed on fentanyl over 10 times and I’m honestly nowhere near as fried as I should be#I know a girl from rehab who overdosed one time and was paralyzed and almost brain dead#she recovered and went on to overdose and die a few months later.#I saw her on Snapchat driving around posting pics of her Xanax and dope and I actually called her and asked her to pull over!#she died that night!#her parents had died a couple years prior#she was 19 years old….#it’s so insane to me that I survived#I don’t attribute it to anything but God or some higher power#which#that doesn’t make sense either. I do not understand#I hope nobody ever hears me talk about it and get annoyed or feel snooty#just blows my mind
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this is fully just a matter of personal taste but what’s with all these fantasy games with “realistic” graphics exclusively giving you shit ugly hairstyle options in character customization
#what’s up with that.#I didn’t care much when it was just dark souls because those games are supposed to be like. gross and yucky#so if the hair is ugly that makes sense and it’s also funny to put a silly weird medieval style on your character#but then cyberpunk obviously tried to make the hairstyles cool and they were all ugly#baldur’s gate 3 has like 6 Hot People face presets depending on if you pick an elf or human or dwarf or whatever#and yet all the hairstyles are super ugly#like???????? oh my god I’m terrible at hair it’s one of my weakest areas when it comes to art but I WILL DO A BETTER JOB#what serves to baffle me about it more is that modders make other hairstyle options that are infinitely better#and more interesting than the base game#so like????????????????? what is the issue#skyrim also has ugly hairstyles but at least that game is like 10 years old. and 8 years old. and 6. and 4. and 2. and
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Been rotating some characters and shows I like around in my brain, but something went wrong and now some wires crossed in unfortunate ways. I’ve been trying to get back into the drawing mood, but considering there is now a jumbled mess of fandoms and characters in my head now, be warned I may end up sharing something unfortunate
Details are in the tags here if you’re curious, just be warned it’s messy…
#It’s like… if you threw breakfast and dessert ingredients into a crock pot I guess?#in case anyone’s reading this and want an idea of what’s gone wrong just start with that roxas and sora au thing from before#now take that lil au of Roxas having to travel and adventure to find Sora and take away the TTeens#obviously Roxas can’t fly the gummi ship on his own due to a lack of smiles and reason to smile and start adding bad ideas#bad idea 1: maybe that random space loving ghost kid would like to take a vacation on a sorta kinda space ship?#bad idea 2: that randy over there sure is weird but also weirdly capable? Mayhaps capable enough to be the hero he needs right now?#bad idea 3: aliens. Space adjacent is cool and all but wouldn’t it be fun if there were aliens? And why not a contained package?#said package turns out to be a 10 year old though so no everyone’s arguing. Oh well moving on. Adventure awaits#most recently those thoughts devolved and added Kevin Levin into the mix and somehow made things worse but better#there are now 2 children and 3 teens and all of them distinctly not human and yet very much human and the children are fighting#also the idea of each of them slowly finding out about each other in increasingly horrible ways#even better is if the first is Danny very visibly being impaled and just taking a picture and walking through the blade#like oh my god he just got impaled and his first instinct is to get a visual record and phase through the problem!#the more they go through the worse it gets before suddenly another kid is being babysat and has to wonder wtf is going on#’he’s literally dead and yet I’M the freak?’ ‘Whaaat no! Nooo who said anything about freaks? You’re perfect! You’re fine! Sweet child!’#just a lil hissy and volatile in a group of volatile kids throwing hissy fits occasionally#anyway like I said some wires were crossed in a horrible way <3#I know there isn’t art of it yet but I’m still putting this on my art blog cuz if I do make art it’d be relevant here
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cool! just had to explain to a man that being gay doesn’t affect your ability to be good at your job
#IM GONNA SCREAM HOW ARE PEOPLE ALLOWED TO JUST SAY THINGS#do not read these tags if you are sensitive to disgusting homophobic/transphobic comments but i just need to yell about this pos real quick#‘i used to be homophobic but a lot of the people i admire turned out to be gay so i guess it’s okay’ BE SO FUCKING SERIOUS YOU BIGOT#he was citing piers fucking morgan as making good points like HI WHAT he’s in my top 10 list of worse human being how is this real#what about me says i’d be receptive to this bullshit#he’s so lucky i’m at work and that someone else was there holy fuck#‘the bbc is telling 11 year olds it’s okay to be trans’ YES THAT’S A GOOD THING YOU MORONIC FUCK??#‘back in my day there were two genders’ AM I BEING PRANKED#oh my god i am in a rage i need a drink and a shotgun
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It’s my birthday so face reveal I guess. Here’s the man behind the account
#I am 20#TWENTY#god I’m so old#and still a sims player after 10 years yessir#anyway tehehe#bluetxt#my birthday#gay#blue face reveal hehe
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crazies in my notes now claiming that friends used to fuck each other before people got all “weirded out by intimacy” like. babygirl what does that mean. do you think the industrial revolution invented the divide between romantic sexual and platonic. do you think people didn’t have words for different types of relationships before now
#cat’s thoughts#also: WHERE ARE YOUR SOURCES FOR THAT. I WANT AT LEAST 4 PEER-REVIEWED HISTORY JOURNALS ON MY DESK BY 10 O’CLOCK#how long ago are we talking? 50 years? a hundred? a thousand? 10 thousand? what places specifically had the described customs?#you can’t just use the ‘things were better in the old days >:(‘ copout like it’s some ultimate dunk#the nebulous concept of The Past™️ isn’t fucking real you need give a time period and geolocation. my god. how did you pass hs history#even if you are correct in some sense all societies are different and have gone through different things to get to where they are today#plus. fucking /plus/#THERE IS NO REASON FOR ANY SOCIETY TO STAY STAGNANT. SHIT CHANGES. HUMANITY GROWS. LET GO OF THE OLD AND FIGHT FOR THE NEW#anyways yea i’m not mad at all how are you guys doing today
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Just sitting here eating breadsticks in the calm before the storm tbh
#my best friend just got back from scotland and i’m hungry#that’s not a euphemism for anything i’m literally just hungry. i haven’t eaten since i had a big cookie at 1pm while squinting at my project#and i had a surprisingly good work day (apart from the break midway through to try to help my neighbour fix her computer) so i’m famished#so i was like i know what’d be a good idea. i could call her and see if she wants to have a takeaway together#she can tell me about scotland and we can both eat nice food. win-win#so i texted her but didn’t get a reply right away which is completely normal. people have lives#so i sorted out all my laundry. checked. still nothing. decided to call her#phone rang but went unanswered. she didn’t reject the call & the phone was definitely on and had signal#so i was like okay she’s away from her phone. this also is not weird. she has a 3 year old kid who loves to hide phones#so i was like ‘i’ll try the landline ONE time and if no one answers that my next call is going to be to whichever takeaway i feel can get me#a meal quickest because i am actually going to pass out’#so i call the landline. her mom answers the phone and says she’s just fallen asleep. i’m like ah. okay nevermind#she said i’ll wake her up in half an hour. i was like okay but i mean… it’s really not urgent#she said i’ll wake her up in half an hour. i said okay#that was twenty minutes ago. so my sleep deprived best friend is going to be forcibly woken up in 10 minutes and told to call me#she will probably think i have an emergency or something and i’ll just be like ‘hi :) do you want food’#i mean i don’t think she automatically wakes up mad as hell like i always do. so it MIGHT be fine? keyword ‘might’#let’s just hope she wakes up ravenously hungry and chinese food sounds as good to her as it does to me because my god#those breadsticks didn’t even make a dent. if anything i somehow feel hungrier. i fucked up#personal
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