do you think émilie agreste knew, on the day she became too weak to leave that house, that she never would again

having thoughts about how Husk actually has very little left to redeem bc he started his journey of self-change before even coming to work at the hotel, but at the same time redemption isn't even his goal- he ain't even aiming for heaven, he just wanted to be a better person and maybe now with friends and especially Angel, who he supports so much and wants to see succeed, maybe now he has a reason to be a better person

Candela Obscura is very fun in terms of horror, because I have never been particularly bothered by horror, but when I have been, I'm always like, is this because of how I react in particular or because of how effective the visuals or the atmosphere are? And that's kind of hard to differentiate in the genre people most often consume horror in (film) and for me, who reads books very visually, it can be hard in that format as well.

With Candela it's like, this is deeply unsettling despite there being no visuals beyond the general set and the action being dictated to me while mechanics are happening, which is something that can take absolutely you out of the atmosphere of the thing. Even if you're used to the actual play format, a mechanics heavy scene especially without notable GM guiding is going to remind you that you are watching people play a game. There's a lot to say about how this show's cast have phenomenal grasp of the genre and the atmosphere, but even then, it is a hard line to manage, and they are doing it masterfully. And that's what makes it so fun as a concept! Candela has very effective storytelling, but it's also a lot easier to see the edges of the story, because the "man behind the curtain" of the story so to speak is on full display.

Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying that I really have confirmed I have no issue with horror, because I passed out instantly upon going to bed and then let a lab tech take my blood this morning without even thinking of making some eldritch monster joke. Which is, not gonna lie, a little bit wild to me.

I'm on my ng+ lies of p run and Romeo's dialogue is destroying me emotionally

im back watching the terrible cruise ship murder show i was liveblogging last night and heres some more notes:

i havent mentioned the show's intro yet but its exactly what youd expect it to be, both in style and budget. i have friends who have made much better videos on less of a budget and those videos were ship edits for holby city.

said friend showed me said videos whilst we were sat on a curb at like 9:30pm just before we were approached by police thinking we were lost children. we were in university

im beginning to adore the red colour filter over the ocean, unironically

showing a giant cruise liner docked at any small island really does not make the cruise ship look good. it towers over the island like its about to attack.

...you know, everyone laughed at isambard kingdom brunel for his big fuck off ship, we should bring that back.

oh hey, a case i actually know about prior to this show. im sure this will not highlight any flaws of the show going forward

curious because ghost trick fans are always telling people to play ghost trick, personally i had mixed feelings so i wonder how other people felt.

[TUVOKTOBER: Day 20] Workforce.

TEXT: "I know this must be confusing for you but you're ill, very ill, and you must accept that reality if we're to have any hope of treating you. You're suffering from a syndrome on which I happen to be an expert. You say you remember me and I don't doubt it - what you're experiencing now is a relapse. I helped you before and I could help you again if you'd just-" A great, near overwhelming sense of shame and error washes over Tuvok as he realizes that he's begun to cry. It's the same sense that something is dreadfully wrong which has plagued him for the past few days - that he is wrong. That something terrible has been done to him. That he is behaving shamefully. But even as he feels this there is a stronger feeling, rising above all else: DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN. "…If you'd just listen to me. All this nonsense, all this turmoil. Don't you want it to end? Don't you want help? I can't help you if you're going to act like this. You're one standing in the way of your own treatment, I'm sorry to say. I hope, with time, you'll see that." END. THOUGHTS: Based on this line from 'Workforce'

But it did also remind me of that scene in 'Plato's Stepchildren' where Spock was forced to laugh and cry and seemed both distraught and enraged by it. That and the fact that Ravoc says Tuvok accused them of 'stealing his katra' - essentially his soul, tells me that this is a very difficult thing for Tuvok. Not only was he brainwashed to forget about his old life but he was made to act in a way he'd find shameful, antithetical to the person he is and has worked hard to be. It's like a double loss almost since for Vulcans, their control is a very important part of their identity. I wonder what the process of returning to himself again was like for him. It's not only remembering the details of his old life but mastering his emotions once again - something we've seen in both Spock & T'Pol is difficult for Vulcans to do once they've begun expressing and experiencing emotions without the blunt distancing of logic.

im very sad now bc i just saw the frigid take that manfred wasn't abusive :((

would you guys still like me if i rambled about my cringe crackship

i really do think people need to be retaught the lesson of "buyer beware" for some things

howdy! the way you talk about heroes is just… so real. if i may ask, do i have a specific reason for why you didn’t like heroes reborn? (i’m honestly the same, got bored after the first ep and didn’t bother with the rest) i love reading your longer analysis post, and i’m a sucker for for a good rant!

but if you don’t wanna be a negative nelly, i’ll settle for your smuttiest petrelli headcannons jk, jk

Hi!! Thanks haha I always gotta be Real, like I’m in a 17-year toxic relationship with this show where I do love it but also I’m a hater about a lot of it and it does inspire some real rants lmao, like do not get me started. Me and my gf will literally say 1 thing about scourge of my life heroes nbc and it WILL turn into a 4 hour analysis/yelling session. Or that one time I wrote 1700 words about Nathan Petrelli in response to an ask about him (you just had me reading through my own “heroes ramblings” tag and lmao, why am I actually so hilarious but also unhinged about this stupid 2000s nonsense. Get a grip anni.

ANYWAY that said, I was like really excited and enthused for heroes reborn at the time but it’s been long enough since I watched it (not since it aired, in comparison to ‘heroes classic’ which I’ve rewatched about 5 times since lol) that I honestly have forgotten pretty big chunks of it at this point. I think it being aired only 5 years after heroes ended meant there wasn’t enough nostalgic clamour for its return yet but it was also long enough that people probably kinda moved on already, it’s a really weird one. I appreciated seeing the returning characters but they fucked up or killed most of them anyway and they couldn’t get back some of the major players (including my personal blorbos lol, like cmon you couldn’t have pretended Nathan wasn’t dead just for me???). I also remember just not really caring about most of the new characters, the plot being kind of a stupid mess (I mean what’s new there, looking at you clusterfuck heroes s3, but at least I had my boys the petrellis despite everything lmao) and it just kind of being a giant letdown. Been a while though like I said. Gotta keep it real tho 😂

Anyway re your last point the petrellis are the most compelling thing about the show, the layers of Machiavellian Catholic incestuous unhingedness in that family are everything to me and what keeps me around. Most of the time Peter and Nathan are too ‘on the edge’ and Nathan is too goddam repressed for me to confidently headcanon anything beyond unholy levels of mutual obsession happened between them in canon, EXCEPT the villain!nathan scene where he’s like ‘there’s some things I needed to talk to you about that just couldn’t wait’ and pointedly bites his lip (oh they were about to fuck nasty there, mark my words) AND the entire s2 deleted scene where Nathan despairingly talks about getting young Peter drunk in their treehouse like he desperately wants to forget it but can’t. Man what was that all about. Can someone fucking explain that one to me please. Have that on my desk by MONDAY, Tim Kring-

about 90% of my brain runs solely on associations and one of the worst ones i have is when im playing the sims 4 and trying to pick out a blue chair.

because way back when (2018ish), i was watching a documentary on jonestown, called jonestown: the life and death of the peoples temple, while playing the sims 4 because adhd brain. and as i was trying to pick out a blue chair for a bedroom, there was a lady (i think her name was june) talking about how she got involved with the peoples temple, and it was quite memorable so association formed immediately.

so now, anytime im trying to pick out a blue chair in the sims 4, i just remember her explaining that her mother-in-law was in need of a new pet monkey, because her previous monkey had hung itself, so she looked in the newspaper for a new monkey and found jim jones selling monkeys, and so her mother-in-law meets him about the monkey and he invites her to his church, and at no point does she indicate that any part of this story is weird which is besides the point but bears mentioning in my brain.