Nimona headcanons I wrote instead of sleeping
Sometimes the boys forget that Nimona isn’t human
Like they’re used to the shifting into animals aspect of Nimona because she does it as often as she breathes
But sometimes she’ll do some really creepy shit like make her arms longer to reach something when she’s too lazy to get up
One time they shifted just their neck to be like an owl so they could turn their head 180 degrees instead of just turning around cause that was “too boring”
Or he’ll mimic people’s voices without realizing it
Sometimes he’ll tell a story and suddenly he’s using Bal’s voice
The first time she did this Bal searched the whole house cause he was convinced that Todd has snuck in
Or she’ll grow an extra arm to hold more shit and they take a moment to realize “oh yeah we adopted a little weirdo”
They get used to it after a while and the arguments surrounding it are always funny because both the boys will complain and say “I don’t sound like that” and they have to be told “No love you do you really do”
You know those videos of babies reacting to their parents shaving their facial hair or putting on glasses
That’s Nimona's reaction every single time the boys change their appearance even the smallest bit they cant shave or wear their reading glasses because if they do he freaks out
Talking some “help me Nemesis I heard bosses voice but I can’t find him” while Bal was standing right in front of them
It was the first time he shaved his face in years and he’s never doing it again
Mostly cause Ambrosius kept telling him he looked like a teenager and it was freaking him out
I feel like Bal and Ambrosius are those kinds of people who will tell people about the little injuries but neglect the big ones
Like Bal mentioned that he thinks he sprained his ankle during the fight at the institute but he won’t mention that he’s pretty sure he got a concussion
(BECAUSE THIS MAN HEAD-BUTTED TWO PEOPLE WHEN HE HAS A METAL ARM)
(I’m bout to wrap this man in bubble wrap and give him a helmet because wtf)
Ambrosius will complain the whole day about the fact that he has a paper cut
But will completely neglect to inform his doctors “Oh yeah I can’t move my left arm higher than my waist without pain and I can’t see that well out of my left eye or hear that well out of my left ear do you think that’ll be a problem?”
It isn’t until Nimona makes an off handed comment about how this super weird that the laser did basically nothing to him that he told both of them
They literally dragged him to the ER because “Who thinks those symptoms are normal Nemesis what is wrong in that pretty little head of yours!!”
When Bal tells Nimona she’s being a bit of a hypocrite (cause who refers to an arrow as a splinter?) she turns to him and says “I know you’re not saying something Mr. Human battering ram”
It took literally everything in Ambrosius not to break down laughing
After that she forces them to have frequent checkups with the doctor because these dorks wouldn’t go otherwise
Honestly I'm fully convinced that some people in the kingdom don't know who Nimona is and are constantly confused why they let this little weirdo follow them around
And finally the curiosity will eat away at them and they’ll finally ask
Sometimes the boys will give some “normal” answers like “Oh that’s Nimona” and they won’t elaborate at all
Sometimes they’ll give funnier answers like “Oh that’s a raccoon we found in the garage who turned into a person one day” “I don’t know they just showed up in our living room” and their personal best “You see her too?”
And their favorite that they only started using a couple of years down the line “Oh that’s our kid”
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I used to believe that bugs were little robots. Lots of people do, it’s the prevailing opinion next to “i’ve never thought about it”. Then I watched a mother wasp mourn her child. An animal who stretched after a nap and did little dances when her daughters returned from flight. Now she is opening her fourth capped hexagon and finding a pale white stillborn. She grasps the baby gently in her jaws and does not put it down for over 24 hours. Carries her loss, pacing back and forth the length of her enclosure. It is not the behavior of a robot.
So I think about the prior odds. Scenario A, bugs are robots. Why do I believe that? Because they are so tiny. Because if they are not robots then my world [where “insect exterminator” is a job title and I can buy a can of mass death at home depot] does not make sense. They must be insignificant.
The wasp makes me reconsider. Scenario B: her kind are like mine. cry when we are sad and happy when we play. Has this feature evolved many times? Or is it common to all the children of the precambrian worm? Every shark in the ocean swimming in their own feelings. Every bird and every cat knowing the thrill of being alive? The wasp made me realize that my whole moral picture is wrong. We’re not alone on this planet,
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Not So Smug Now, Are Ya?
If Lois Lane had a Nickel for everytime she outed a superhero working at the Daily Planet, she'd be getting her second nickel.
She had invited one Daniel Nightingale, a junior reporter with serious potential with a serious lack of self preservation to "a smoke break" and was prepared to do exactly what she did with Clark. If her gut was right when it told her Nightingale was a hero too, the mysterious Phantom, he'd save her before she'd jump. If not, then Clark would jump in to grab her if he didn't rise to her bait.
When he finally got up there with her, she sure as hell wasn't expecting him to tell her why he shouldn't smite her soul out of existence there and now. Her blood ran cold when he told her that Clark has been "compromised", a portal opening up with a snap lf his fingers dropping an unconscious mountain of a man facefirst on the ground.
"You were supposed to die that day you jumped off this building, Ms. Lane. Did you know that?" Danny growls as a scythe made of ice, niking her neck as he has an unhinged Cheshire grin on his face "Clark was never supposed to save you that day? So... what are we going to do about this now?"
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