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tinybibmpreg · 3 years

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prompt fill 7/80 - #11 - Have you seen the rest of their family? ft. Prince Richard Silvers, Klaude & Ezekiel Goldsborough (plus their father), and Elizabeth Valentine

oh boy this one is long. Richard and Klaude (and ezekiel and elizabeth) are characters i made years ago and wrote a bunch of stories for, but i never finished any of them. i do wanna rewrite those because i like them still lol. but have this new fresh thing with them instead, featuring both of the Goldsborough boys knocked up by their respective partners lmao

Silvers: Reunion

“Have you seen the rest of their family?” Richard asked, leaning in close to Elizabeth as they were escorted into the Goldsborough manor. “Klaude mentions his older brother and father sometimes in his letters, but I have no clue what they look like or what they're like.”

The younger woman shook her head, looking terribly nervous as they entered the huge house. She glanced around and fidgeted with a ring on her middle finger. “Ezekiel showed me a picture of his mom once back at the academy… but she passed away when he was a child, so I don't think that helps. Ezekiel mostly talks about Klaude when he mentions family.”

“Damn. That totally sucks. I should have done research. I don't even know anyone's names.” He hadn't been nervous about coming to stay with Klaude at his family’s estate at first. But now upon realizing he was going to seem foolish and uncaring, his usual confidence was dwindling away. He didn't want Klaude to think he wasn't interested in the rest of his family, to give him any reason to suspect he hadn't wanted to show up.

When getting married, one was supposed to be at least familiar with one’s partner’s family.

He'd just been so desperate to see his fiancé again that he'd bypassed everything else.

“Well, their dad’s name is Raoul, and their older brother is Manson,” Elizabeth said. “Ezekiel calls his two sisters by nicknames, but they live with their spouses so they shouldn't be here.”

“They have sisters?”

“Yes. It goes Manson, Klaude, Hattie, Lin, and Ezekiel.”

Richard chuckled a bit. “Zeke’s the family baby, huh?”

“Their sisters have kids, so those are the family babies…”

Why did Klaude have to be so tight-lipped about everything? He hadn't mentioned being an uncle, or that he even had sisters.

They were escorted through an entrance hall to a large study. Richard perked up as they walked in, but their escorts left them with just Klaude and Ezekiel’s father. There was no sign of the brothers. Richard struggled to keep from deflating. Elizabeth’s fidgeting increased.

“Ah, Prince Silvers, Miss Valentine. Welcome to my home. Was your trip pleasant?”

Richard took over the conversation before Elizabeth could have a chance, giving her time to calm her nerves. “It's wonderful to be here. Our trip from the Silvers Kingdom went smoothly, if not a bit slowly for my tastes.”

“I'm sure the two of you were eager to be here.” Though Lord Goldsborough sounded pleasant enough and had a small smile on his face, the look in his eyes was anything but friendly and welcoming. Richard couldn't blame him, considering the circumstances of why they were there. He applauded the man for being so composed. If the situation were reversed, his own father would have been livid. “Your sister, Princess Ronella, is not with you?” the man asked.

“She is back at the Silvers Palace, studying. Miss Valentine is now capable of providing the magic I need, so my sister doesn't have to trouble herself following at my heels wherever I may go.”

“I'm sure it's no trouble, helping her brother.”

“We adore each other, but circumstances kept her from her proper education. I'm glad she's able to return to her schooling at home and to spend time with her mother, as young girls should.”

“Indeed. And things have settled, in your kingdom?”

“Very. It is peaceful at last, and the people flourish. Miss Valentine was a wonderful help to my father and king and I.” Elizabeth jumped a bit, stuttering that she had just tried her best. Richard gave her a side-eye glance and patted her arm. “Without her magic, I may not have been able to come and pay my respects to you, Lord Goldsborough, and I would not be able to see Klaude again.”

“Thank goodness for Miss Valentine then. Klaude and Ezekiel are eager to see the both of you later.”

“A-are they doing well?” Elizabeth asked.

Lord Goldsborough gave them both a strained smile. Richard vowed to himself that he would find some way to apologize to the man, on behalf of himself and Elizabeth, but mostly himself. He was sure Lord Goldsborough would be more forgiving of Elizabeth, a sweet girl who hadn't intended to defile his youngest son. Richard knew that on the other hand, he'd caused a full-blown scandal, and the blame for it laid mostly on him. Now Lord Goldsborough had to rush to arrange a wedding between his second eldest son and the crown prince of a large empire, whereas Elizabeth and Ezekiel had a bit of time and far less prominence.

“They're both doing well. Klaude will be especially glad for your arrival, Prince Silvers. He has yet to give birth, though the doctors say he is due any day now.”

“I'm relieved I could make it in time before the birth,” Richard told him. “Is Klaude here? Ah, and Ezekiel as well?” he asked.

Lord Goldsborough took a seat on a fine chair, crossing one leg over the other. “You’ve both had a long journey. Why don’t you sit and have some refreshments? Klaude is resting, but I’m sure he’ll be up later in time for dinner.”

They’d been sitting on a train for hours and had eaten right before arriving so they wouldn’t have anything in the way of seeing Klaude and Ezekiel right when they arrived, so Richard absolutely did not want to sit again. However, he had to be polite. It wouldn’t do for a prince of his standing to turn down his host, especially not after his sister had drilled it into him that he had to actually behave like a royal while around nobles.

So he gestured for Elizabeth to sit at the end of a loveseat and took a seat on the cushion next to her even though he felt like Lord Goldsborough was purposefully keeping them from seeing his sons. “Thank you, Lord Goldsborough. We’d love some refreshments after our trip.”

“I’ll go ask a maid to bring some tea. Then we can discuss a few important matters.”

“Of course. Whatever you’d like.”

Lord Goldsborough stood and left to speak to one of the servants they’d passed on their way to the room. As soon as he’d left the room, Elizabeth turned to Richard and said, “I wonder why we can’t see Ezekiel… he said Klaude was resting, but he hardly mentioned Zeke…”

Richard slumped back and scoffed. “He’s not letting us see them yet because he hates us, Elizabeth.”

“Wh- what?!” she cried. He shushed her and glanced back at the doorway. Though frazzled, she quieted down and asked, “Why do you think that? Does he really hate us?”

“Of course he does,” Richard replied. He shrugged and looked around the room. Nothing caught his eye. All the decorations and furniture were standard for a nobleman’s manor, all expensive but impersonal items to show off wealth to any guests. Elizabeth looked even more anxious, so Richard explained, “Elizabeth, two of his sons are carrying our children, children conceived out of wedlock. His youngest is pregnant with a commoner girl’s child, and his second eldest is about to give birth to a foreign crown prince’s illegitimate firstborn. It’s a huge scandal for the family, especially with us being gone for six months. We can’t even marry early and try to conceal what happened. Klaude is due any day and Ezekiel is what? Almost eight months along?”

“Y-yes, almost eight… I can see what you mean, now… I never thought about it like that. I hope Zeke’s been alright. He was so worried when he found out about the baby, and then I had to leave and it took so long for us to come back. I hope he hasn’t been stressed out about a scandal.”

Richard waved her concerns off. “Eh, Ezekiel’s probably not too affected by that. Klaude and I are the ones with the major scandal.” Which Klaude had complained plenty about in his letters, even saying that he’d once nearly punched one of his relatives for making a comment about the baby being illegitimate. Richard had thought that meant his older brother and Klaude was just wording it strangely, but now he wondered if it was a brother-in-law that had asked Klaude how he felt about carrying a future bastard king.

If he could figure out which relative had said it, maybe he could humiliate them with a spell of some sort and make Klaude laugh. It was hard to get Klaude to fully laugh, and he loved whenever he managed it. Surely a good bit of revenge would work.

He hoped that Klaude’s father wouldn’t keep them apart for too long. Though he understood why Lord Goldsborough wanted them away from his sons, he missed Klaude and was impatient to see him again. It’d been a bit miserable back at home without Klaude to talk to every day. He missed spending time with the man and devoting his time to getting his cold exterior to crack. Those moments when he got to see Klaude’s softer, affectionate side… Moments he knew he was seeing a part of Klaude no one else got to see. He’d really missed them dearly.

Richard was also quite eager to see how Klaude looked, heavy with his child, ready to deliver any day. Klaude’s belly had been noticeably rounded out when he’d last seen him, a small swell that Richard could hardly take his hands off of. Having seen a few other full-term people before, it wasn’t difficult to imagine a full belly and swollen breasts on Klaude. And it was just as easy to imagine him still fitting into his typical formal and well-tailored clothes, even being nine months pregnant.

He sighed, wishing he could lean against his arm or bounce his leg. It was killing him to be patient.

Still, the image of Klaude and the good memories of spending time with him would have to remain just in his fantasy for now, until dinner. It would be rude of Lord Goldsborough not to have all of his family within the estate present at dinner when they had a guest of such high standing. At least Richard could count on that, that the nobleman wouldn’t dare to break the rules of high society in front of the heir of a kingdom much larger and far richer and more prosperous than his own country.

Glancing at Elizabeth, who was now solely focused on fidgeting with the spinning rings Richard had ordered to be made for her, he wondered if she was thinking of the same thing. Ezekiel was a bit too sweet-looking and gangly for his own tastes, but he imagined that being pregnant had filled the scrawny young man out and given him a healthier flush to his usual pallor. Certainly, it would suit him.

Richard told himself it was to help snap Elizabeth out of her anxious state, but he just really wanted to tease her to take his mind off of not being able to see Klaude yet as he asked, “So, how do you think Ezekiel looks?”

“Hm?” Elizabeth’s head shot up. Richard reached over and tried to fix her hair so it wasn’t so messy. He and his sister had tried to get her to stop looking so ruffled, but no matter what they did Elizabeth always looked like she’d been caught in the wind or had fallen. “What do you mean? He should look like he usually does… just, um, pr-pregnant.”

“Exactly. Klaude’s told me in his letters that he’s blaming me for how much sweets he’s been craving. Do you think Ezekiel’s indulging?”

She latched onto the wrong thing. “But you hate sweets…?”

“Beth. I have been utterly consumed with thinking about how I’m going to be putting my hands on every inch of Klaude’s heavy belly, and on everything else that’s changed with the pregnancy. You haven’t been thinking the same of Ezekiel?”

“Pr-Prince!” She covered her mouth with her hands, flustered.

“He’s always been a skinny little thing, and you’re a big girl. I bet he’s huge. I bet his breasts are nice and large as well, to feed the big baby you stuck in him.”

“I don’t get how you can say stuff like that with a straight face, Prince!” she squeaked. “Why do you always tease me like that?”

“You’re so easy, that’s why. Come on, haven’t you been thinking about it?”

“Of course I have! But I wouldn’t say it out loud!” Richard put a finger over his lips to shush her and she glared at him. “Prince…!”

Before he could keep teasing her, he heard footsteps. Richard looked behind them at the doorway and Lord Goldsborough returned, followed by a maid holding a tray with tea. Richard straightened up, putting on a charming smile.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long. I had to attend to something,” Lord Goldsborough said as he took his seat again.

“Not at all.” Richard took a cup of tea and waved away the maid when she offered milk and honey. He waited for Elizabeth and Lord Goldsborough to take their own cups before taking a sip. Then, he asked, “What was it that you wished to discuss?”

Lord Goldsborough set down his cup and put his hands on his lap. “I was hoping to take this time to discuss matters relating to your engagement with my son, about the wedding, Prince Silvers.”

Elizabeth took a sip of her tea to keep from reacting. Richard had no doubt she was remembering his many rants the past few months about how he didn’t care what they did for the wedding, that Klaude could handle that since it was going to be a wedding with Klaude’s country’s traditions. Richard would simply follow along, as anything would make him happy as long as Klaude was satisfied with it.

He wished he could say that to Lord Goldsborough, but didn’t think the man would enjoy hearing that Richard wouldn’t care if Klaude just wanted to sign a paper and go on with married life or if he wanted to consummate the marriage in front of everyone.

Definitely, he didn’t think Klaude’s father would want to hear that.

So he didn’t mention anything like that. “I’d love to discuss it. But shouldn’t wedding arrangements be made with Klaude…?”

“The family typically arranges things, and I have discussed things with my son in length the past few months. But since you’re a member of royalty, we would like to include you in arrangements, so as to avoid offending you or your kingdom.”

Richard did not mention that if Lord Goldsborough tried to discuss a wedding with his father or even anyone else in the royal court, that he would get laughed at and told the whole ordeal was ridiculous. He did not want to mention the words ‘concubine’ or ‘royal consort’ to Klaude’s father to explain that in his kingdom, Klaude would most certainly not be referred to as his husband no matter what their marital status was.

“Klaude has briefly mentioned to me how a typical wedding would proceed for your family. It all sounds quite agreeable.”

“Yes, he’s said you agreed with the procedures. But the details, rather, is what we would like your input on.”

“I’m sure whatever you have planned will be perfect! I don’t want to cause any difficulties when I know there is a limited amount of time to prepare things…”

Lord Goldsborough exhaled slowly. “It would be no trouble to fulfill your desires for the wedding… The staff is quite capable. And there is plenty of time to prepare.”

“But isn’t Klaude going to give birth any day now?” Elizabeth asked, and Richard wanted to take her aside and shake her for not listening to his sister’s social etiquette lessons. Somehow, Ronella would find out she’d spoken out of place, and he would be the one to get scolded for not looking out for Elizabeth.

Her question further strained the nobleman’s smile. It looked painful, how forced it was.

Richard wished he knew how to endear himself to Lord Goldsborough to make things easier on him. However, Elizabeth’s question made that impossible, driving it in that Richard was the reason he would be needing to prepare a wedding as quickly as possible.

At the awkward silence that followed, Elizabeth continued, saying, “If a wedding is difficult, then why not just have a small ceremony with an official? It’ll be quick and effective…”

“That’s preposterous. A small ceremony and impersonal signing before an official would be unthinkable for the Goldsborough family. And it would be offensive when Klaude is marrying a man of such high standing.”

“I guess it would be different than what a noble family is used to… but it wouldn’t be offensive. The royals in the Silvers kingdom don’t get married like people do here in Merlynd.”

“Yes, I’m sure their wedding customs are very different.”

Richard silently prayed to his patron goddess that Elizabeth wouldn’t mention that the kings of the Silvers kingdom didn’t have marriages, just accepted consorts that would bear children that would later be legitimized by the royal court.

His prayer went unanswered. She immediately replied, “The heirs and kings don’t get married at all, though.”

“What?”

Richard tried to salvage things, “While it’s true that we don’t get married in the sense that the people of Merlynd do, we do…” He had no idea what word to use in place of taking consorts or lovers. His pause made things worse.

Elizabeth seemed to realize that she shouldn’t have brought it up, leaning in towards Richard and asking in a whisper, “Is it not good to bring up royal consorts, or…?”

“Consorts,” Lord Goldsborough repeated, aghast. “You don’t take a husband or wife?”

“Klaude will be my husband according to Merlynic law, and I will personally consider him as such,” Richard assured.

That didn’t assure his future father-in-law. “And your kingdom will consider my son and his child as…?”

He avoided answering. “Merlynic law doesn’t apply in the Silvers Kingdom. But the concept of illegitimacy is very different and has nothing to do with marriage, in my kingdom. The term ‘bastard’ has no meaning. It will not matter to the royal court or to my father whether my child is presented for acceptance the moment after naming them or even years later.”

It was clear that Lord Goldsborough wanted to ask more about that, but he refrained, instead returning to his original topic. “Regardless… what would be your preferences for the foods that will be served at the wedding?”

Richard internally groaned. He hated details. At home, the kitchen would come up with things, and a list would be submitted to his father for approval. Sometimes Richard would suggest a meal if he wanted something, but his ideas were only ever one among the many ideas put forth by the staff.

How could Klaude’s father want to micromanage everything? Still, he had no choice but to go along with the tedious conversation.

He hoped that Klaude really was busy resting and was getting plenty of good sleep. At least then it wouldn’t be so bad, wasting his time discussing wedding details he was sure wouldn’t even come to fruition because of how quickly the wedding was to be thrown together now that he’d arrived.

“What do you mean Richard has been here for an hour already talking to my father?” Klaude snapped at a servant. “I told my father I wanted to be alerted as soon as he knew when Richard was going to arrive or did arrive.”

“F-forgive me, Master Klaude,” the servant stammered, wilting under his harsh glare. “Lord Goldsborough asked that no one tell you nor Ezekiel until after he finished speaking with Prince Silvers and his companion.”

“His companion? Is Elizabeth Valentine not here?”

His brother looked upset, standing and bringing his hands to his chest. “Elizabeth didn’t come with Prince Silvers?”

“Please don’t be upset, Master Ezekiel. I’m sorry, Master Klaude… I don’t know who his companion is.”

“Is it Princess Ronella?” There was no one else Richard would come alone with.

“N-no! It’s not a princess. It’s a woman with strange eyes.”

Ezekiel sighed in relief while Klaude was briefly confused. “It is Elizabeth, then. Thank goodness,” his brother said with a smile.

Klaude ignored Ezekiel and demanded of the servant, “Why did my father order such a thing?”

“Lord Goldsborough didn’t say. But he looked quite unhappy, Master Klaude.”

He scoffed. “Of course Father is unhappy. I’m also unhappy about the current state of things.” Ezekiel rolled his eyes and Klaude grit his teeth, turning his sharp glare towards his brother. There was no way he would ever admit that he was anxious to see Richard and upset that their father was trying to keep them apart. I’m certainly not upset! Klaude thought. It was the principle of things. It was rude of his father to deny his future son-in-law and daughter-in-law the chance to see their fiancés after their long travel just to be with them. He turned back to the servant. “But that’s no reason to keep Richard and Elizabeth Valentine away from us. Where are they?” he asked.

Gulping, the servant told them where their father and their guests were. Klaude grabbed Ezekiel’s arm and dragged him along.

Richard was considering faking illness to get out of discussing wedding decorations with Lord Goldsborough. It wouldn’t be hard to fake a cough and act like he was trying to hide being in pain. He was sure Elizabeth would freak out and convince the nobleman, and he could ask for privacy while Elizabeth gave him some excess magic, then explain to the woman that he was just pretending. It would probably work, provided that Klaude had told his father about his illness. He was sure that at least Ezekiel would have mentioned it. After all, the only reason why Elizabeth hadn’t stayed with her boyfriend through his pregnancy so far was that she was in the Silvers kingdom helping him and his father recover from the major spell they had cast. Or in Richard’s case, was still casting.

As Lord Goldsborough droned on and on about what traditional Merlynd weddings had, Richard wondered if Ezekiel was upset with him for keeping Elizabeth in the Silvers Kingdom for so long. Even though she had greatly helped Richard’s father and saved Richard’s life, he thought the young mage might still resent him a bit.

Ezekiel could hate him, for all Richard cared. He was glad to no longer be dying, and relished being able to get through the night without choking on blood from a decaying throat and that he was able to eat with far less pain.

“Another thing, Prince Silvers,” Lord Goldsborough started, and Richard got ready to start coughing.

Neither of them could continue though, as a raised and angry voice barked, “Father! I told you I wanted to be there to greet Prince Silvers and Elizabeth Valentine!”

Richard snapped his head around to see Klaude pulling his brother by the arm towards the doorway. A servant was walking alongside them, worried. But Richard’s focus went straight to Klaude.

“What are you doing here, sons? I told the servants I wanted to speak privately to our guests-”

“Thank you for this blessing, my Goddess,” Richard clasped his hands together and prayed quietly. He could hardly believe his eyes.

While he’d expected Klaude to have a heavy belly and a somewhat swollen chest, he’d been using the average expectant person as a basis for his mental picture of what he imagined Klaude to look like. With Klaude being so tall and broad, he’d also imagined that while his almost due belly would be large, it wouldn’t be as prominent as it would be on a smaller, slimmer person.

Klaude, in a sweater that clung to his figure and fought to keep him covered, was huge. He waddled towards the doorway slowly, a hand hooked under his massive belly that was in no way only carrying one child. He was expecting at least hefty twins. And not only was he clearly carrying twins, but it was obvious Klaude had been indulging in more than the occasional craving for sweets that he’d complained about. He’d filled out wonderfully, all curves where he’d once been simply muscular. His overstretched clothing left nothing to the imagination.

“How could you forbid the servants from letting us even know that our fiancés had arrived? It’s not very discreet of you-”

Ezekiel waved to Elizabeth, a shy smile on his face. Elizabeth waved back.

Richard swallowed hard, drinking in how gorgeous Klaude looked. His blond hair was thick and shiny, longer than Klaude usually kept it, allowing it to look fluffier than it used to. His hips, already what Richard had teased were perfectly child-bearing size, had widened, and his ass and thighs had grown with them. He didn’t let himself think too long about what his fiancé would look like stripped naked, flushed and full and no doubt covered in stretchmarks- Richard didn’t think he could take it. It was a fight not to open his mouth and say something stupid.

“My great Goddess…” Richard murmured, seeing how Klaude’s broad pecs that had started softening six months ago had grown into a proper pair of breasts. Klaude had hated when he tried to get his mouth on them before he’d really started producing milk. Richard had a feeling the next few days were either going to be absolutely thrilling or incredibly annoying to Klaude once he got his hands on him in a private room.

He spared a look at Ezekiel. As he’d imagined, the young man sported a normal eight months pregnant belly, which stuck out obviously on his thin frame. He’d filled out somewhat, now looking healthy instead of underweight, and there was more color to his face. Elizabeth was sure to be happy, at least.

Richard looked back at Klaude. As he argued with his father, his sweater rode up a bit. He was wearing something underneath, but it still made Richard feel like he was going to burst. He grabbed Elizabeth’s arm before he could explode and make Klaude hate him. “Elizabeth,” he hissed, “-Though I was teasing you before, I really just wanted to spend time with Klaude, not immediately get my hands on him, by the Divine, Klaude is so enormous and sexy. Don’t let me say something vulgar to him.”

“Uh… um, well, don’t say that to him? Goodness, he is very big, though. It might upset him.”

“Elizabeth. I’m going to die when I get my hands on him. I’m going to die if we don’t find a private room soon so I can make up for not being around to see him transform into the divine being he is now.”

She tried half-heartedly to pull away, then sighed. “I wish you wouldn’t say those kinds of things to me. The past six months have been… something else.”

“You’re the only person I can talk to about this.”

“But you sound uncouth,” she whispered back. To herself, she lamented, “I can’t believe I got used to you talking like this when it’s not teasing. I should be embarrassed.”

Teasing! Maybe that would make her understand how he was feeling. “Come on. You know you’re going to fuck Ezekiel as soon as you’re alone.”

She blushed. “We’re saving it for marriage!”

“I don’t understand you Merlynics at all. Klaude and I will be consumed with passion until you or Ezekiel drag us out for the wedding, and then we’ll be back at it until he goes into labor. In true Silvers fashion, I won’t miss a moment of these last few days. Do you think I saw my father at all before his second consort had Ronella?”

“Prince Richard, I don’t want to hear that,” she cried quietly. “Please calm down.”

Klaude had finally gotten to the doorway, but his father was using his whole body to block him, holding onto the doorway with both hands. Seeing his fiancé even closer was maddening. After six months without him, and now this-

Richard squeezed Elizabeth’s arm tight, desperate. “Seeing Klaude so hugely pregnant is without a doubt the most arousing thing I have ever witnessed. I am utterly consumed by him right now. If I don’t get my hands on him soon I am going to be sick. I am being deprived of divinity. Elizabeth-”

“I’m sure Klaude has missed you too, but really, Prince Richard. He’s right there and he’s looking at you, please contain yourself.”

“I might just have to shove you all out of the room and take him right here. I don’t think I can wait.”

“Richard!” Klaude cried. “You are completely disgusting! I can’t believe what I’m hearing!”

Richard’s heart dropped. He turned to look at Klaude, who had paused in trying to get past his father to stand stiff and red-faced. His father looked horrified, standing aside, and Ezekiel was covering his face with his hands.

“Klaude, my love, I-”

His fiancé took a few steps forward. “Shut up! What in the world is wrong with you, saying such- such depraved things in front of my family and Elizabeth?!”

“H-how much did you hear?” It wasn’t so horrible, surely, for Lord Goldsborough and Ezekiel to hear the last bit he’d said about having sex with Klaude in the study.

“You want me to repeat it?!” Klaude snarled, fists clenched at his side. “You’re sick!”

“The, uh, seeing my brother so… hugely pregnant and it being, er, arousing. That,” Ezekiel answered.

Klaude turned to stare at his brother, humiliation on his face. He huffed and hissed, “I can’t believe I actually wanted to see you!” Then, he stormed off as quickly as his pronounced waddling gait allowed, shoving past his father and brother.

“W-wait, Klaude! I’m sorry! You just look so perfect like this!”

“I hate you!” Klaude shouted back, voice cracking, not even turning to look.

Richard tried to get up. “Klaude! Please wait!” Elizabeth grabbed him and pulled him back down before he could take off after Klaude.

“Prince Richard! Don’t make things worse,” she begged. “Take a minute to settle down.”

“Argh!” Richard yelled, slumping against the back of the couch. “I can’t believe I said all that out loud!”

Lord Goldsborough cleared his throat. “Well,” he said awkwardly, “-I’m just going to make the rest of the arrangements on my own. Ezekiel, son, I’ll be in my personal study if you or your brother need me. Prince Silvers, if you require anything, my servants are at your disposal.” With that, the nobleman took off, sighing heavily as he left the room.

Ezekiel watched him go, then turned to Elizabeth with a big smile on his face. “Beth!”

Elizabeth, finally free from Richard’s grasp, got up and hurried up to him. “Zeke! I missed you so much!” She pulled him into a hug, careful not to squeeze his belly. “Are you alright? Have you been handling things okay?”

“I’m doing well. I’ve missed you too, Beth.” His eyes grew wet. “I’m so happy to have you with me again. I loved all your letters, but it wasn’t the same as having you here… I know your work in the Silvers kingdom was very important, but I still wished you were by my side every day.”

“Oh, Zeke… I’m here now! I’m never going to leave you or the baby for so long again. I mean, unless Prince Richard starts dying or something… He’s our friend, I would help him. It wouldn’t take six months again though, now that I know what to do to help him, um…”

“O-oh, yes, of course! Um, it’s nice to see you as well, Prince Silvers,” Ezekiel said to Richard.

The prince sighed. “Just ignore me and keep going with your cute reunion, Ezekiel. Don’t worry.”

“You look upset…”

“I’ll be fine soon once I figure out how to apologize to Klaude. Pretend I’m not here.” Richard waved them off, even though he felt incredibly jealous that Elizabeth got to have such a loving reunion with her fiancé. “Did Elizabeth write to you about how she’d cry sometimes because she worried about you so much?” he prompted.

“Beth…!” Ezekiel looked up at her, eyes filling with tears. He reached up to wipe them. “S-sorry, I’ve been so emotional… Oh, but you really worried so much?”

“Y-yeah, of course!”

Richard buried his face against the couch, pulling a cushion over himself.

After plenty of tears, sweet stories, and lots of hugging and chaste kisses that indeed made Richard rather jealous, Ezekiel and Elizabeth turned their attention to the prince again. Ezekiel peered over the edge of the couch. Richard looked up at him from where he was laying down holding onto a pillow. Seeing Ezekiel looking at him, he thought to himself that he was very lucky to have gotten with Klaude instead of his younger brother. Ezekiel’s cherubic features and timid attitude did nothing for him.

Truly, he and Elizabeth were a perfect match. Of course, he and Klaude were also a perfect match, even if Klaude hated him sometimes.

“Hello, Ezekiel.”

“Have you thought of how to apologize to my brother yet?”

In response, Richard pulled the cushion onto his face. He heard Ezekiel whisper something to Elizabeth.

Then, Ezekiel said, “You know, Klaude has really missed you. He tried to hide it, but he’s told me how much he was looking forward to you coming back, and how worried he was about you and your illness, especially when it got worse. It really scared him.”

Richard pulled the cushion down and sat up. He gave Ezekiel a confused look. “I never told Klaude about my illness getting worse. He knew about me coughing up a little blood before my father and king called me home, but I always said I was doing well in my letters to him. I didn’t want him to worry.”

Elizabeth frowned, tapping her fingers together. “I, uh… mentioned it in my letters to Ezekiel, since I kept him updated on how things were going so we could guess when I’d be coming home.”

Ezekiel rubbed the back of his neck. “And I showed Klaude those letters.”

“Why would you do that?” Richard asked.

“I thought he deserved to know, in case…”

In case he’d taken a turn for the worse. In case he’d died. “Oh.” Richard felt guilty, now that he thought about it. What if he’d ended up like his father, in a coma? His father had woken up after a few weeks and only now thanks to Elizabeth no longer required months of bed rest, but Richard knew in his case if he had ever tried to stop casting his spell or had been forced to, that he would have never woken up. Of course, it was highly unlikely he would have been lucky enough to end up in a coma. If his illness had progressed to the point that he couldn’t cast his spell, he would have most certainly just died. Probably on the spot.

If that had happened, and Ezekiel hadn’t been telling Klaude- if he’d believed that things were always going well like Richard had been assuring in all of his letters, then him dying would have come from nowhere. It would have caused a problem, then, if Ezekiel had known but hadn’t warned his brother.

With Ezekiel telling his brother about all of Elizabeth’s updates, but with his own letters assuring that nothing was wrong, Richard wondered if Klaude had thought things were even worse than they were. If he had someone telling him Klaude was ill, but Klaude saying he wasn’t, he would suspect that Klaude was far more ill than he was being told. And with Klaude knowing that Elizabeth was a bit oblivious at times and not very good at picking up on secrets, and knowing that his brother hated to upset him, it was safe to bet that Klaude had assumed whatever Ezekiel said was at least half as bad as what was really wrong.

“By the Divine…” Richard mumbled. If Klaude had spent the past six months worrying about his health while also dealing with a twin pregnancy by himself, it was no wonder he’d reacted badly to Richard being a fool in front of him. Though it certainly wasn’t his intention, knowing how Klaude took things, his fiancé had most likely thought that he didn’t care about his feelings.

He really needed to work on letting Klaude know he really did love him, and not just physically. It was hard, though, with how excited he got being around him. He made a fool of himself and spoke like he was flirting or started saying outright vulgar things. Even in other matters, his sister and father had scolded him for sounding too sarcastic or playful or being rude.

Well, he couldn’t help that his default was being very happy all the time. Maybe he could annoy Klaude into believing him by repeating that he loved him for more than his body so many times that it would infuriate him.

“Please don’t try to talk things out with my brother by driving him crazy until he screams at you and has no choice but to give up and believe you,” Ezekiel pleaded.

“How did you-”

“Prince Richard, we know you. We’re friends. You’ve done it before. I know it works, but it stresses Klaude out. And Father and Klaude will be very upset if you stress him out too much. Klaude actually wants to have a semi-normal wedding before he gives birth.”

“So try to come up with something else, okay? Klaude is probably stressed out now…” Elizabeth added. “Do you want us to come along as support?”

“If you come along I’ll default to teasing you and Klaude will think I’m not being serious.”

“He knows you’re never serious,” Ezekiel assured. “He gets over it.”

Richard stood up and pouted. “But I want him to know I really am being serious this time!”

Elizabeth came and patted his back. “Give it a good try!”

“I will!” He headed for the door but stopped two steps out of it. He turned to Ezekiel. “Uh, where do you think Klaude is?”

“I’ll take you to his room.”

Ezekiel brought Richard to his brother’s bedroom door and then left with Elizabeth to his own room. Richard knocked on the door and then pushed it open. Klaude never welcomed him into a room, even if he wasn’t upset with him.

“Klaude?” he asked, stepping into the room.

There was a sniffle, and then Klaude answered, “Richard?” The man was sitting on a small sofa placed underneath a window that had its thick curtains drawn. He had a handkerchief in one hand that he was holding up to his tear-stained face. His other hand was on his heavy belly, rubbing circles against it. “What are you doing here?”

Richard forced down his shock at seeing Klaude crying. “I came to apologize for how I acted earlier.”

Klaude scoffed and looked away from him. “Of course.”

“I got too excited. I, uh, didn’t expect to see you… expecting more than one child?”

“I’m carrying twins,” Klaude confirmed. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“It was very surprising.” Richard hadn’t expected that from Klaude. The blond wasn’t fond of surprises. He set that aside for later. “I’m sorry I embarrassed and upset you. I was thrilled to see you. I’m very happy to see you again. I missed you a lot.”

“...I missed you as well.” Klaude dabbed at his eyes.

Richard went and sat next to him. With his thumb, he brushed under Klaude’s eyes. Taking Klaude’s other hand, he continued, “And I’m sorry I lied to you in my letters. I should have told you when I was ill.”

Klaude crumpled, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

Bringing up Klaude’s hand, Richard pressed his lips to it. “I didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t know Elizabeth was telling Ezekiel everything. That he was telling you. I should have been telling you myself, so you knew exactly what was happening.”

“I- I thought you would die. Elizabeth said you might have to stop your magic, but that- And you were gone for so long. When I heard things were settled in the Silvers kingdom, but neither of you mentioned coming back…” Klaude sobbed a bit. “I thought you might not…”

“There was a point where it got so bad my father considered having me break the spell when I couldn’t breathe properly or eat at all, but Elizabeth figured out how to help, and I got better. I’m better than I’ve ever been since my illness first started.” Richard wrapped an arm around Klaude and pulled him close. Klaude rested his head against his chest. “It’s not completely healed, it won’t be unless I can somehow break the spell and sleep again. But Elizabeth healed the damage it caused, and due to reforms I could release a portion of people to lessen the spell, and with Elizabeth’s excess magic, the spell causes far less damage. There’s no more blood, and I can eat without much pain.”

Klaude made a small noise and nodded against him. Richard squeezed his hand.

“I really did miss you. It was lonely, not having you to talk to. Not being able to chip at your shell until you snap at me or I manage to make you laugh. Not being there with you for our children.” He rubbed Klaude’s belly. “I regret that I couldn't be with you for most of the pregnancy.”

“You're here. I was so scared that you wouldn’t come back to me. That's all I’ve wanted.” Klaude’s hand came to rest on top of Richard’s own. Richard kissed the top of his head, closing his eyes and relishing the weight and warmth of Klaude in his arms. It wasn't often that he got to hold him, not with Klaude’s height and usual aversion to affection. And he was enjoying it.

Klaude sighed, relaxing against him. His breathing evened out and slowed. Richard rubbed lazy circles against the side of his belly. He hoped he'd be able to touch him without any layers of clothing in the way, but he didn't want to ruin their moment.

Before he'd left, Klaude rarely wanted to cuddle with him. Now that Richard had him dozing off in his arms, he never wanted him to leave. It was wonderful. He hoped that Klaude would want more affection from then on. Maybe being pregnant and worrying about losing him would make Klaude a bit clingy.

Richard made a mental note to pray for it, and to pray that their children would enjoy extra affection as well. Though he adored Klaude and loved the challenge of breaking through his serious exterior, he wasn't sure if he had the energy to wear at two more Klaudes. While he certainly had the determination to, it might not be matched by what he was physically capable of.

The children were bound to take after him in some way, surely.

Resting his cheek against Klaude’s head, Richard exhaled and thought to himself that he was very thankful to be back with his fiancé after so long. He wasn't sure how he had managed.

He wished he could fall asleep with Klaude, but settling back and keeping his eyes closed was close enough.

Just as he relaxed, Klaude shifted and sat up. Richard opened his eyes to see that Klaude was scrubbing at his face.

“Ugh… I feel like such a mess after I cry,” Klaude grumbled. “I can only imagine how splotchy and awful I look.”

“Oh, it’s not bad,” Richard assured him. Sure, he was a bit splotchy and his eyes were puffy. But that was a given with how pale Klaude was, and Richard didn’t think it looked awful at all. The sight of him so heavily pregnant and having so obviously cried tugged at Richard’s protective instincts and made him feel guilty all over for having scared the other man so much. He wanted to wrap his arms tight around Klaude and smother him, keep him safe and happy all to himself, but let that stay a fantasy.

Instead of making Klaude upset by doing something foolish, Richard pulled out a fresh handkerchief of his own and wiped the last traces of tears from his face. Once Klaude was satisfied that he wasn’t so ‘messy,’ he leaned back against the back of the sofa and spread his legs to make room for his belly. Comfortable, he gave his belly a rub and then pulled up his sweater and the shirt he was wearing underneath it to expose his entire abdomen.

Richard bit his tongue before he could ruin anything by running his mouth again.

Klaude’s belly was flushed pink around the belly button with its tightness and covered with angry stretch marks all over. It was astonishing how Klaude’s abdomen had expanded and his skin stretched to hold their children and his new weight.

Watching Klaude rub his own belly, Richard was frozen. He didn’t want to disturb the blond, make him tug his sweater back down. As he stared, he noticed that Klaude avoided touching his popped belly button. It was probably sensitive, the prince reasoned, with how Klaude’s body seemed to be struggling to contain itself.

Glancing at Richard, Klaude seemed to notice him again and blushed, his hands stilling. “It- it feels nicer, like this.” Richard just nodded, swallowing. Klaude’s face reddened even more, but he lifted his hands and offered, “Do you want to feel-”

His hands were on Klaude before he even finished asking. His belly was warm and firm, and Richard applied just a bit of pressure to see how it felt.

“Mm- j-just be gentle, alright?”

“Will I feel them move?” Richard asked.

“They haven’t been terribly active recently… there’s not much room.”

As if to prove him wrong, Richard felt a shift under his hand and then a kick. “Oh! Hello there, little one.” He leaned forward and rested his head on Klaude’s belly. When he almost immediately felt a hand carding through his hair, he grinned like a fool. To the babies, he said, “I hope Klaude’s been telling you two good things about me. Actually, I hope he’s at least mentioned me. Even if it was just about how worried he was-”

“I was not worried,” Klaude insisted, embarrassed.

There was another shift and kick.

“Even they can tell when you’re lying, Klaude!”

“You’ve got them both riled… “

“They’re just excited to hear me.” He turned his head so he could look up at Klaude. “I’ll try not to excite them too much. Wouldn’t do to get them so excited to meet me that they come out before the wedding.”

“Exactly.” Klaude gave him a glare but then yawned.

Richard sat up. “Tired, love?”

“Always. Your children have been a menace to my sleep schedule. I’ve never taken so many naps in my life.”

Richard pulled Klaude against his chest. “How about a nap with me before dinner, then?”

“Hm, I suppose that would be nice. I’d rather not sleep on this couch, though.”

“To the bed, then.” He helped Klaude up and wrapped an arm around his waist to support him. When Klaude went to pull his sweater down, Richard caught his hand and went, “Ah-ah! I’m not done saying hello to the children just yet. We’re going to keep talking while you get some rest.”

Klaude scoffed. “I’m sure that’s your intention. But… well, just make sure it’s comfortable, my prince, or I won’t be happy when I’m exhausted.”

“I accept your challenge, my lord.”

#mpreg #male pregnancy #original #Silvers - story tag #prince richard silvers #klaude goldsborough #ezekiel goldsborough #elizabeth valentine

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handeaux · 3 years

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Did Poisoned Ice-Cream Kill Harriet? Or Was It Something More Sinister?

When Dr. R.L. Thomas attended the dying Harriet Chevraux in her apartment at 2383 Kemper Lane, Walnut Hills, he determined that her case “though remarkable, is not such as to warrant the presence of the Coroner.”

Harriet’s death certainly was remarkable. With her dying breath, she claimed that an ice cream soda she had recently enjoyed was poisoned. The ice cream, she insisted, was the lethal agent that led to her demise at the age of only 22 on 25 May 1909.

As her life slipped away, Harriet told her husband that, two weeks prior, she skipped breakfast and boarded the streetcar into town. According to the Cincinnati Post [26 May 1909]:

“While in the shopping district, she bought an ice cream soda. After she reached home, she suffered terrible pains in her stomach. Hemorrhages followed. In her statement to her husband, she always declared she had become poisoned by the ice cream soda.”

Harriet’s husband, Amos E. Chevraux, a chauffeur, never determined at which particular soda fountain his wife purchased that fatal concoction, so distraught was he throughout his hopeless vigil at her bedside. Dr. Thomas filled out her death certificate and set down the cause as hemophilia, apparently because of profuse internal bleeding. Harriet’s burial record at Calvary Cemetery in Evanston, attributes the fatality to ptomaine poisoning from eating ice cream, undoubtedly reported by her husband.

It is most certainly possible that someone could contract ptomaine poisoning from eating ice cream in Cincinnati in 1909. In fact, it is somewhat surprising that anybody survived eating ice cream back then. The newspapers regularly reported the tragic deaths of children done in by an ice cream cone or a sundae. The city was only just beginning to employ health inspectors, who described revolting contamination almost everywhere they looked in the local food production facilities. No, it would not be unusual at all to die from ice cream poisoning in Cincinnati.

What is unusual is a thread that runs through the Post’s reporting on Harriet’s death. Three times in a fairly brief article, bichloride of mercury is mentioned in connection with her terminal condition. First, Amos Chevraux denies she employed that chemical compound:

“If the report is true that she was told by any one to use bichloride of mercury for any reason, I do not know of it.”

Then Dr. Thomas is quoted that Harriet used some sort of tablet, presumably bichloride of mercury, as an antiseptic.

Finally, Harriet’s husband repeats that if she had ever taken bichloride of mercury, he was positive she never told him anything about it.

The focus on bichloride of mercury, also known as mercuric chloride, is intriguing because, although it exhibited, as Dr. Thomas suggested, antiseptic properties in minute amounts it is highly poisonous and usually recommended as medicine only for very serious afflictions. The most common affliction for which bichloride of mercury was prescribed was syphilis.

As early as the 1500s, mercury and its compounds were utilized in an attempt to cure syphilis and other venereal diseases. It appears that the inspiration for this practice came from the Arab world, where a dilute solution of bichloride of mercury was employed to sanitize wounds. As a treatment for venereal disease, however, the concentration was so toxic that patients frequently succumbed to the treatment rather than the disease. Could Harriet have gone downtown looking for some cure for syphilis?

The obsession over this particular chemical compound is curious, because the historical records give no reason to besmirch the reputation of Mrs. Chevraux. She was born as Harriet “Hattie” Wohlgemuth in Switzerland in 1886, and was living in Cincinnati with her parents in 1900 while attending school. How she met Amos Chevraux of Canton, Ohio is unclear, but both of them were listed as residents of St. Louis when they took out a marriage license on 13 August 1904. Harriet fibbed a bit – just a bit – about her age; she was three months shy of being 18 years old, as she claimed. But the marriage was sanctified by the pastor of St. Francis Xavier College Church in St. Louis three days later.

Perhaps the most exciting event in Harriet’s marriage took place sometime in August of that year. Although officially married in the church, Amos and Harriet repeated their vows in Car 19, the famous “wedding car” of the giant Ferris Wheel at the St. Louis World’s Fair. Throughout the 1904 “Louisiana Purchase Exposition,” couples thronged to the Ferris Wheel to plight their troth 264 feet above the midway. The huge rotating structure was the original Ferris Wheel, designed by George Washington Ferris Jr. for the Chicago World’s Fair of 1893, then disassembled and shipped to St. Louis. Although her obituary claimed that Harriet and Amos were the first to wed atop the immense wheel, multiple sky-high marriages took place all summer that year.

The St. Louis World’s Fair is reputed to be the event at which ice cream cones were first served in America. Maybe that is where Harriet got her ultimately deadly taste for frozen confections. Whatever the real story, it appears that Harriet Wohlgemuth Chevraux took some secrets to her grave.

#Harriet Chevreux #amos chevreux #syphilis #bichloride of mercury #cincinnati death

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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years

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THE JIMMY DURANTE SHOW

“Women in Industry” ~ April 28, 1948

“The Jimmy Durante Show” aired on NBC from October 1, 1947 to June 30, 1950. It was a continuation of the NBC / CBS radio series “The Durante-Moore Show” after Garry Moore left when he was offered his own show on CBS Television. The series originally starred with recurring guest stars Peggy Lee and Florence Halop. In its last season, actor and personality Alan Young was brought in as Durante's straight man. At the end of the 1947-48 season, the show was tied for the number 7 show on the air along with “Philco Radio Time” on ABC and “Dr. Christian” on CBS. The show managed to stay in the top ten throughout its entire run. The series ended in June 1950 after Durante made a move to television with a starring role on NBC's “Four Star Revue.”

The program was televised at Club Durant. Each episode usually ended with Durante's catchphrase, "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are!", an apparent reference to Durante's deceased first wife. This program was sponsored by Rexall Drugs. It was produced and directed by Phil Cohan.

Synopsis ~ Jimmy and guest Lucille Ball tour the country to see how women fit into American industry.

CAST

Jimmy Durante (Host) was a multi-talented performer who was distinguished by his bulbous nose. In “Lucy Meets Harpo Marx” (ILL S4;E28) Lucy Ricardo dons a novelty store mask and trench coat to impersonate Durante for a nearsighted Carolyn Appleby. His classic profile was featured on “I Love Lucy” when Lucy goes to the Hollywood Brown Derby, where his caricature takes up two frames above her booth. Lucille Ball has an uncredited role in his 1935 film Carnival. In “Lucy Goes to a Hollywood Premiere” (TLS S4;E20) on February 7, 1966, Durante makes a cameo appearance accompanied by his wife, Margie Little.

Lucille Ball (Guest Star) had previously been on Durante’s radio show on October 29, 1947. She had played an uncredited role in his film Carnival in 1935. Ball was just a few months from staring her radio series “My Favorite Husband,” which launched in July 1948. Her film Her Husband’s Affairs was in theatres. At the time of this broadcast she was filming Sorrowful Jones with Bob Hope.

Peggy Lee (Regular Cast) was a singer and actress who, like Lucille Ball, was also born in Jamestown - but in North Dakota, not New York. Lee was a Grammy-winning singer and composer.

Roy Bargy and his Orchestra (Music)

The Crew Chiefs (Singers)

Howard Petrie (Announcer) would appear with Lucille Ball in Fancy Pants (1950).

Victor Moore, usually part of the cast, is not in this episode.

EPISODE

Announcer Howard Petrie opens with a few bars of his signature songs “Inka Dinka Doo” and “You Gotta Start Off Each Day with a Song.” Petrie and Durante talk about the wedding of the year: Lana Turner to Bob Topping. Durante says that he picked out her torso. Petrie corrects him saying her ‘trousseau’ cost her $30,000. Durante says he picked out her wedding gown, especially the train.

DURANTE: “It wasn’t an ordinary train. Lana was wearing the Super Chief!”

Lana Turner married Henry 'Bob’ Topping Jr. on April 26, 1948, just two days before this broadcast. He was her third husband, but she would marry four more times in her life!

Durante jokes about President Truman throwing out the first ball at the Washington Senators first game. Durante sings the novelty song “I’ll Never Forget the Day I Read a Book.”

After a Rexall commercial, Durante introduces Lucille Ball. Lucy talks about making Sorrowful Jones with Bob Hope. Durante is jealous of Hope’s nose!

LUCY: “When it comes to noses, he’s a retailer. You’re a wholesaler.”

Lucy wants to get down to the reason for her visit: woman in industry. They travel into the future to see how things might be different if women were captains of industry.

In the future, Lucy comes home from the office and Jimmy is doing housework. The banter is classic domestic role reversal. Lucy compliments him on his housekeeping.

Back in the present, Lucy and Durante introduce Peggy Lee. Lucy says her gown is an original by Schiaparelli. Peggy says hers is by Hattie Carnegie.

Before coming to Hollywood, Lucille Ball was a model for Hattie Carnegie in New York.

LUCY: “The shoes are by Capezio, the handbag is an Evans creation, and the hat is by John Frederick.” DURANTE: “Notice they didn’t say anything about Adrian, who’s spending every moment whipping up my new spring halter.”

Peggy Lee sings “It’s the Sentimental Thing To Do”.

After another Rexall commercial, Peggy and Lucy are still interested in pursuing women in industry. Jimmy, Peggy, and Lucy sing “Any State in the 48″ as they take a magic carpet around the country.

First stop: Milwaukee, Wisconsin to visit the Shultz Pickle Works. Mr. Schultz mistakes Durante’s nose for a cucumber. They are curious to know if the pickle industry would be good for women. Lucy tries a pickle to see if it will make her pucker. While she is puckered, the phones rings and it is Governor Folsom of Alabama asking Durante to keep Lucy ‘puckered up’ till he gets there!

On March 3, 1948, Governor Jim Folsom's name was in headlines across the nation when the 30-year-old Christine Johnston, a widow who had met Folsom in late 1944 while she was working as a cashier at the Tutwiler Hotel in Birmingham, filed a paternity suit against the governor by alleging that he was the father of her 22-month-old son. Nine days after the suit was filed Folsom appeared on the sidewalk in front of the Barbizon Modeling School in New York City, where he kissed a hundred pretty models who had voted him "The Nation's Number One Leap Year Bachelor." Johnston dropped the suit for a cash settlement. Years later, he admitted that he was indeed the father of Johnston's child. On May 5, 1948, Folsom married 20-year-old Jamelle Moore, a secretary at the state Highway Department, whom he had met during his 1946 campaign and had been dating and seeing "almost daily" since then.

Next stop: Paris, Illinois. They are visiting the second largest perfume factory in the country, owned by Hot Breath Houlihan.

DURANTE: “Now I know who set B.O. Plenty’s house on fire!”

B.O. Plenty was a character from Dick Tracy comic strip by Chester Gould. In March 1948, his house mysteriously burned down and everyone feared the character was dead. Readers actually wrote to the newspaper begging Gould not to kill off B.O. Plenty and Gravel Gertie!

Houlihan sells perfumes named Abandon, Yield, Retreat, and Surrender.

DURANTE: “Haven’t you got something with a bit more will power?”

Houlihan says she became a success by developing a perfume called Go Away Henry Wallace.

HOULIHAN: “When a girl is sitting on the sofa with her boyfriend, she don’t want a third party!”

Henry Wallace was the 33rd vice president of the United States. He was also the presidential nominee of the left-wing Progressive Party in the 1948 election.

Last stop: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. They visit a steel factory and talk to the head man (who is obviously voiced by a female). She says that women have no place in the steel industry. But Lucille convinces her otherwise, and they conclude their magic carpet tour of the USA.

#Jimmy Durante #Lucille Ball #The Jimmy Durante Show #1948 #Radio #Henry Wallace #Dick Tracy #Jim Folsom #Hattie Carnegie #Bob Hope #Sorrowful Jones #Rexall #Lana Turner #Henry Topping #Peggy Lee #Roy Bargy

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sarahscougall · 5 years

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Book to Movie Differences: Ella Enchanted

You know when you watch a movie based on a book, and there’s that one person who points out everything that’s different from the book? Everyone loves that person, right? Good, because I’m going to be that person right now.

If you’ve seen and read Ella Enchanted, you know that they are entirely different stories. I usually say that the only thing they share is Ella’s gift of obedience. There are a few more similarities, but not that many. If you’ve only seen the movie and are wondering how different can they actually be, the answer is: extremely. Before I proceed, here is a major SPOILER ALERT for both the book and the movie. Here we go.

The Background

Ella of Frell is gifted (cursed) with obedience by Lucinda the fairy in both the book and the movie. They both have a birthday scene where she can’t stop eating her cake, and eventually her mother tells her she can’t tell anyone about the curse. The curse works slightly differently in the book though. Although Ella has to do what she’s told, the curse doesn’t do the work for her. If she doesn’t do what she’s told, she starts sweating, gets dizzy, all sorts of stuff. So if she’s told to do something she’s not good at, she has to work hard to do it right. Remember that scene in the movie where Ella is told to freeze, so she literally freezes in midair? Yeah, that wouldn’t have happened. Admittedly, it was funny. On a sadder note, Ella’s mother dies in both book and movie. She also gets her mother’s necklace, and loses it to Hattie who finds out she always has to do what she’s told. Both book and movie have Ella gifted with a book from Mandy, one of the servants. However, in the book, this gift is just a book. Sort of. More on that in a second.

Mandy

In the movie, Mandy is a young, beautiful fairy who isn’t that good at magic. Book Mandy is also a fairy, but she’s old, and Ella’s fairy godmother. She’s very good at magic, but she doesn’t use it. The idea is that she won’t use big magic that could affect other things, including changing her appearance. Fairies are more secretive about who they are in the book, in order to avoid people asking for magical favors all the time. Lucinda is the anomaly who makes herself look young and bestows gifts on people at births and weddings. Back to that book, now. Mandy isn’t terrible at magic, so this book she gives Ella isn’t her boyfriend caught in a spell gone wrong. It’s still a magic book, with maps and letters and things, but sadly it doesn’t talk.

School/Areida

Ella gets sent off to finishing school in the book. There’s a scene in the movie of a school, but it’s more of a day to day school than a boarding school far from Frell. Ella isn’t childhood friends with Areida in the book; she meets her at finishing school. Hattie does tell her she has to stop being friends with Areida, because Hattie is a horrid jealous monster. But, Ella never has to say anything to Areida because she runs away from school to do something else that also happens in the movie. Namely, searching for Lucinda at a giant’s wedding.

Ella’s Father

Ella’s family seems to be just nicely getting by in the movie. Their house isn’t that grand, as Dame Olga quickly points out. In the book they live in a manor, her parents are Sir Peter and Lady Eleanor, and they’re kind of filthy rich. It doesn’t last forever because Ella’s father, who is loving in the movie but distinctly not loving in the book, gets caught in some dirty dealings and loses all of their money. He then tries to marry Ella off, but his first choice isn’t rich enough for his liking, so he marries Dame Olga. Dame Olga and Ella’s father do marry in the movie, but Lucinda has a hand in it in the book. She “gifts” the two of them with eternal love, which Ella’s father is none too happy about, and he spends the rest of the books traveling in order to love from afar.

Ella and Char

The relationship between Ella and Prince Charmont (Char, as most people know him) is a classic enemies to lovers, at least as far as Ella is concerned, in the movie. There is no such relationship in the book. They are friends from the start, she makes him laugh all the time, and everything grows from there. There’s much more buildup in the book, too. That’s to be expected, because there’s more time to build on things, but the book takes much more time to build it up. They know each other for over a year, spending time together and writing letters back and forth, before any kissing or declarations of love. It’s understandable why the movie sped up the process, but that slow burn in the book is very much worth it.

Human to Magical Creature Relations

This one’s a biggie. The movie shows Char’s uncle (more on him later) forcing giants and elves into slavery and claiming ogres are bloodthirsty monsters. The book shows an entirely different relationship. There is peace between humans and other magical creatures, except the ogres. While in the movie ogres are said to be evil but turn out to be just kind of disgruntled, in the book they’re actually evil. Ella gets captured by NiSSh and some other ogres like in the movie, except she saves herself, and Char just shows up at the end to lend a hand. Slannen, the elf who joins Ella on her adventure, is in the book too, but he has a much smaller part. He’s the chief trader of elven goods, and he’s perfectly happy with that. No lawyer aspirations whatsoever.

Cinderella

Ella Enchanted is first and foremost a Cinderella retelling, but you might not know that if you’ve only seen the movie. The movie takes the story in an entirely different direction, with much more action and adventure. The book keeps Ella in Frell for most of the time, and has many more Cinderella parallels than the movie. Ella is forced to be a scullery maid in Dame Olga’s house, there are three balls supposedly meant to find Char a wife, Ella finds glass slippers she then wears to these balls, and loses one of the slippers as she runs away. Talking about it like that makes the book sound unoriginal, but I promise that isn’t the case. Don’t forget about the curse and the ogres and all that other good stuff.

Lucinda

Lucinda the fairy is the catalyst for all the problems Ella has. The movie has Ella spend almost the entire time tracking her down, and then when she finally finds her, Lucinda won’t help her and actually makes things worse, again. The book forces Lucinda to learn her lesson. Mandy bets Lucinda that she’s too scared to try out her gifts on herself, and Lucinda takes the bait. After her ordeal with obedience, Lucinda is horrified and renounces big magic like the rest of the fairies in the book. Unfortunately, this means that she won’t do the magic required to take away Ella’s curse, so Ella still has to find a way out of it herself.

Breaking the Curse

Ella is able to break herself out of the curse in both the book and the movie, and it is because Char is in danger. However, it’s Char’s hypothetical danger, that someone could tell Ella to kill him, that keeps her from saying yes to marrying him, which breaks the curse. It makes sense that it was made into actual danger for the movie. It’s much more dramatic for Ella to be pointing a dagger at him and then drop it. The book was plenty dramatic, but in proper book fashion, where everything’s happening in her head. There was no actual danger because there was no one to create such danger. Which brings me to the last and most important of differences.

Char’s Parents/Uncle

So you know Char’s uncle? The guy who killed his dad and is trying to kill him? The main antagonist of the movie? Yeah, he doesn’t exist. He, and Heston the snake, are complete fabrications of whoever made the movie. Char’s parents are alive, he even has a little sister. This lack of evil uncle is the reason there are good relations between humans and magical creatures, it’s why Ella doesn’t hate Char before she even meets him, and it’s how the movie was able to create actual danger for Char rather than hypothetical. One extra character drastically changed the entire plot, making for a completely different story. But you know what? The fact that they’re so different means I can love both of them, without comparing the two, even though I just did exactly that.

#ella enchanted #book review #book vs movie

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andremarcusburky · 6 years

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Tyson Jost as a boyfriend

i got the feels

masterlist

cuddly baby

you will never wake up cold as long as he’s there

if he comes home in the middle of the night he’ll try so hard to be gentle and not wake you but he desperately wants to pull you as close as humanly possible and kiss every part of your body

loves it when you play with his hair

sometimes he just puts his head by your hand like a fucking dog and waits for you to scratch it

also big fan of lightly scratching his nack, back and arms

happily books you nail appointments every now and then so you can have long nice nails

goes with you sometimes

usually gets clear nailpolish but every once in a while treats himself with black or something

the avs surprisingly (not very surprisingly) doesn’t give him shit for it

barrie and jt once came with you actually

trying to get erik johnson to go to but it might be an impossible mission

sometimes he gets pedicures

he likes to hold your hand wherever you go

even if his hands are sweaty

“you’re my girlfriend, you’re supposed to love me no matter what! that includes clammy hands”

also takes you with him when he’s getting fitted for suits

which you love honestly

because wow you’re good at picking suits for him

you also help him at home everyday

lil colorblind boi doesn’t facetime his mom every time anymore

he’s got you now

he once had a green suit with a red tie and looked like a christmas tree

you tried your best not to laugh but it was too adorable

there’s usually this sexual tension whenever you help him with ties

like you’re standing in front of him trying out different ones to see what looks best

and then you tie it

and his hand instantly goes to grab your hips

its a subconscious thing but it always gets a reaction out of you

and he smiles down at you and you could jump him right there if you didn’t have places to go

you’re his ultimate safeplace

when you’re out anywhere and he feels down or tired or anything he’s always right by your side

leaning his head on your shoulder or has his arms around you

sometimes just squeezing your hand a little tighter than usual

and you always know what he needs

he’s not shy with feelings and stuff

mama raised him right

so if he has a tough loss or something you spend the night holding him and talking

if you kiss him when he’s crying he stops

don’t know why but it’s just a thing

it’s like he can’t be sad when you’re kissing him

wants to get a puppy with you

you can’t yet though because you don’t have the time

but it’ll happen

it took a while for you to get together

people had told him you liked him but he didn’t believe it

you knew he liked you and you were just kind of waiting on him to make a move

but he never fucking did

so you guys were talking and and somehow got into past dating life and he tells you he’s not too popular with girls

“i guess i’m just bad at making moves and girls don’t usually do that either”

so at this point you’re like fuck it

so you just grab his face and kiss him

when you break away he’s just staring at you with an open mouth

for legit 10 seconds

then he starts smiling and gets all shy and nervous again and looks down at his hands

“that was nice”

and you couldn’t help but laugh at him

he didn’t say anything because he was still to chocked

“well, did you like it?”

and he just kissed you

it was really nice

but as i said, mama raised him right

so he has to ask you out still

“so can i pick you up on my scooter, say tomorrow at 6?”

he sadly had a car

the first time you met his mom she told you he’d been facetiming her for an hour before that because his outfit needed to be perfect that night

(she loves you by the way)

dinner and a movie

he demanded you had dessert

and he ordered some really nice wine (and took a taxi back because responsible gentleman)

then he refused to let you chip in

tips nicely of course

and then you went to see a marvel movie

which is like your thing now

whenever there’s a new one you have to go see it

for halloween you dressed up as captain america and black widow

when he got you home he walked you to your door and kissed you

you asked if we wanted to come inside

“i do. but i won’t”

????

“i want to do this right”

“ty, there’s nothing wrong with having sex”

and omg the fucking blush

“true”

still left you hanging though

you texted him the next day to see if he wanted to hang out

he came right after practice

and you binge watched all the iron man movies

and cuddled on the couch

kissed a little

touched a little

“so, this ‘doing it right’ thing. that’s not until marriage, right?”

his giggle is the most beautiful thing on planet earth

but yeah you got laid

and he was so dedicated to making it good for you

after he was still a little nervous

“you didn’t fake it, did you?”

“no, ty, i swear”

“so you liked it?”

and it was really good

it didn’t take long for you to get to know one another

like really get to know

understand each other and figure out the other ones needs

it was like two puzzle pieces coming together

everything just felt natural

after three months it was like you were one instead of two

you really affected his playing btw

he started scoring like never before

the first time you came to a game he scored a hatty

just had a different energy to him or something

so the team calls you their lucky charm

he’s never allowed to break up now

they went on a 6 game roadtrip

and lost the first 4 games

so the guys flew you in as a surprise

you waited in his hotel room when they arrived

when you heard him coming you hid in the closet and then scared the shit out of him

filmed the whole thing on your phone as well

and yes, it will be used at your wedding one day

he was only scared for a second though

like he gave out a quick scream but as soon as he realized it was you he picked you up and hugged you so tight

and you knew he needed you to just hold him

“i love you, babe. i love you so much”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“even if you’ll actually give me a heart attack and kill me one day, i still love you so much”

“ty, i love you too”

you didn’t really let go of each other until about an hour later

when you’d been dating for like 8 months he started talking more about the future

very subtly though

“when we get a house we should have one of those for our pool”

“we’re gonna be the coolest parents”

“i think your mom’s hot”

????

“i mean it’s a good thing. means i’m gonna think you’re hot when we’re older”

lets not forget that time when one of your friends got engaged and she showed you the ring and tyson leans in and whispers in your ear when she can’t hear

“yours is gonna be bigger”

#tyson jost #headcanon #tyson jost imagine #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #writi #avs #colorado #avalanche

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cwnerd12 · 4 years

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6. The Worst Thing That Can Happen Early morning in Daniel’s nursery, Jack wakes Daniel up. Daniel fusses, Jack replies with "Good morning." Out in the kitchen, Jack puts Daniel in a swing seat while Nuggets meows and rubs at his ankles. Jack, “Hold on, hold on.” He takes a bottle out of the fridge, sets it in the bottle warmer, and presses the start button. Nuggets jumps on the counter and meows at her dish. Jack gets a can of cat food out of the cabinet and cracks it open. Nuggets chows down. Daniel fusses, and Jack goes over and picks him up, “Breakfast is almost ready.” Daniel continues to fuss. Jack, softly, “I know, I know. Sucks when you can’t talk. I been there. Can’t talk, can’t walk. Can’t even hold your head up.” He gently kisses Daniel’s forehead. David enters, still groggy Captain following at his heels. David, “Morning.” Jack, “Morning.” David, “You okay?” Jack, “Yeah, just feeding Daniel.” David gets the box of dog show out from under the cabinet and feeds Captain. The bottle warmer timer goes off. Jack gets the bottle out. He goes and sits down out in the living room and feeds Daniel. David sticks his head out, “Hey, you want eggs?” Jack, “Yeah, sounds good.” David pauses for a moment to appreciate the scene: his family, the two people he loves the most in the world. He goes over and sits on the arm of the sofa beside Jack. He puts his arm on Jack’s shoulder, and Jack smiles lovingly up at him.

In their bedroom, David and Jack get ready for an event. The TV is on. A news anchor reads, “The fallout continues from King Wayne’s controversial taking of a second wife. Yesterday, the king’s cabinet issued a unanimously-signed statement condemning the marriage as un-Biblical. Today, Princess Grace released a statement claiming that Queen Mercy was coerced into the marriage with the threat of war between Ammon and Gilboa. King Wayne has yet to respond to the allegations…” David, “You ready for this?” Jack, “Yeah. Big deal. I’m excited.” David, “I’m really excited for you. You nervous?” Jack, “Nah. I’ve made speeches.” David, “Yeah, just not since… you know.” Jack, “I’ll be fine.” David, “I know you will.” David stares at the TV. Pictures form Wayne and Mercy's wedding show on the screen Jack, “You okay?” David, “Yeah, I just…” Jack looks at him. David sighs and goes on, “I just feel horrible about what happened with Mercy.” Jack, “It was her decision.” David, “It’s not a decision when the other option is lots of people die! There has to be some kind of way to stop all this from happening… There has to be some kind of deal. Some kind of union that stops us from going to war just because we fucking want to.” Jack, “You serious?” David, “I… yeah.” Jack, “You have to get rid of Wayne. Laura will agree. John, probably. Michael, maybe. Lawrence and Anthony… I dunno. Wayne will fight.” David sighs, “I haven’t even got a plan in place. I have no idea how that sort of thing would even work. Even if I figured it out perfectly, what do I do, call Council, only for Wayne to refuse? I’m being too much of an idealist here.” Jack, “Never stopped you before.” On the TV, “In other royal news, Prince Quentin of Edom was spotted cavorting around the Bahamas with boyfriend, Frankie Hatch…” David turns the TV off.

In Wayne’s council chamber, his cabinet, all older men ho were appointed by Warner, stands up as Wayne enters. Wayne gives them all a quick glance over, and without even sitting down, he says, “You’re all fucking fired.” The councillors all look at each other awkwardly as Wayne sit down. Wayne, “You all signed a declaration condemning my marriage, and I’m not going to tolerate it!” One councillor speaks up, “The king of a Christian nation cannot be a polygamist-” Wayne, “I’m not having this argument again! Unless there’s a new chapter of the Bible explicitly forbidding multiple wives, everything I’m doing is perfectly biblical!” One councilor tries to say something, but Wayne cuts him off, “And don’t bring up the New Covenant, I’ve already heard it! You’re all old men who served my father, and I need young men who are willing to serve me!” Gen. Dale McClintock, Commander General of the Ammonian army, speaks up, “Wayne, firing all of use would be reckless in a way that I know Warner never raised you to be. You have every right to be angry, but don’t go putting the country in at risk because of it.” Wayne rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment, "I still want to replace most of you. If you want to keep your job, you need to prove that you can be more useful to me than someone who's younger and more in-step with my ideals. McClintock, “Can I speak with you alone?”

Wayne and McClintock walk down a palace corridor. McClintock, “I know you admired me when you were a boy. I hope that you still look up to me.” Wayne, somewhat sheepishly, “I do.” McClintock, “I know that deep down you must understand why so many of us are unhappy with your decision.” Wayne, “It’s perfectly biblical!” McClintock, “Yes, I know! The kings of the Bible all had many wives, but it always sowed discord and distress in their families. Life during the times of the Old Testament was short and brutal. Men were called up to serve in the army, and so many of them were killed, it created a gender imbalance, and polygamy was a necessity to care for the extra women. By the time of Christ, society had settled and civilized, and the standard of monogamy was set. The nuclear family with one husband and one wife has lasted through the ages because it is the most stable and harmonious family unit.” Wayne, “I love Hattie and Mercy, and now that I’m married, I’m not going to divorce either of them!” McClintock, “I know that. But what about the rest of us? Is polygamy going to be the standard in Ammon now?” Wayne, “David got to re-define marriage!” McClintock, “But you’re not David!” Wayne, “A husband must provide for his wife. As long as a husband can provide, he should be able to have as many wives as he wants.” McClintock, “So wealthy men start hoarding women, they could have dozens of wives. That creates an imbalance and young men who would otherwise make excellent fathers and husbands are forced to go without. Women get bought like trophies. It de-stabilizes society.” Wayne makes a face and then mutters, “Well, if only the king does it, it can’t be that bad. Besides, I don’t want to marry anyone else. I’m satisfied with my two wives.” McClintock, “Will you still be saying that ten years from now?” Wayne, “I’m not a pervert!”

In a beautiful sun-filled garden, Mercy lays reading in a hammock. She wears a sun dress with spaghetti straps. Hattie, in her typical modest Chanel, bursts out of the door, “Good God, you don’t have to go showing it off!” Mercy lowers her book, “Pardon?” Hattie fumes at her, “We all know why Wayne married you, you don't have to dress like that!” Mercy sits up, “Wayne got me this dress.” Hattie, “Look, I know that I’m just going to have to put up with you now, but you have to understand, I’m still the one he married first! My son is his heir! I’m the queen of Ammon that everyone loves!” Mercy, “I’m not trying to compete with you. I only married Wayne so he wouldn’t go to war with Gilboa.” Hattie, sarcastically, “Oh, you’re so noble!”

Back inside, McClintock and Wayne continue to talk as they go down the corridor. McClintock, “I know you’re eager to prove yourself, but that takes time…” Wayne sees Mercy and Hattie tasing through a door, and stops walking. McClintock stops, “What?” Wayne opens the door and heads out.

Outside, Wayne says, “What is going on here?” Hattie, “I was just having a little talk with Mercy here. That dress is too immodest.” Wayne, “I picked it out for her. As long as she wears it here where no one else can see her, it's fine.” Hattie sneers. Wayne puts his arm around her and kisses her on the cheek, “You know, you and Mercy are sisters now, and I love the both of you dearly. I want you two to love each other like sisters, because my job is already hard enough without having to settle a catfight every day. Right now, I have to go face a room full of old men who are just furious at me for doing what is well within my right as king and perfectly acceptable in the Bible. I don’t want my beautiful wives being angry, too. Now, I have a meeting to go to. You two be good to each other.” Hattie lowers her gaze humbly, "I will." Mercy rolls her eyes and keeps reading. Back in the hallway, McClintock watches it all with disapproval.

Ribbon-cutting at the Prince Seth Benjamin Hospital for Children. David works the rope-line with Jack and Michelle, Daniel in his arms. Daniel has clearly inherited his father's charm and charisma: he smiles and laughs at all the strangers, delighting absolutely everyone who sees him. Helen chats happily with the hospital’s chief of surgery, Dr. Pooran Singh. Tears fill her eyes as she gazes up at Seth’s name on the hospital. As Jack, Helen, and Michelle prepare to give their speech, Abby leans in to show David something on her phone, “Can you believe this shit?” On the screen: OMGossip: One King, Two Beautiful Love Stories. David looks at it and makes a face, “Hm. I guess Andrew is trying to suck up to Wayne.” Abby, “Son of a bitch. What the fuck is he trying to do?” David, “I thought we agreed no swearing around Daniel.” Abby gives him a filthy look, “Jack and Michelle were raised around Silas. They turned out fine.” David, “Yeah, I know, but I still don’t like it!” Cut to: Jack and Michelle make a speech before the ribbon-cutting. Jack, “There’s no better way to honor our little brother than with this hospital. Here, children with life-threatening illnesses can receive the finest medical care available at no cost.” Michelle, “I know from experience how scary and lonely long hospital stays can be for kids. Here, kids will be cared for in a warm and friendly environment. Families will be given free nearby housing while their child receives treatment.” Jack, “On top of all this, The Prince Seth Hospital will be home to cutting-edge research-” He’s cut off by the sound of a gun firing. Immediately, everything erupts into chaos. Security guys dive. David turns around to protect Daniel, who starts crying. A couple more gun shots, a security guy falls, shot in the stomach. Everyone gets herded inside. At the entrance of the hospital is a large portrait of Seth, smiling innocently. Michelle tends to the wounded security guy, fully back in medic mode. David tries to soothe Daniel as they both get checked for injuries. Abby comes rushing up, “Daniel! Daniel!” She reaches him and takes him from David’s arms, “Shh, shh, mommy’s here, I’m right here, shhh, it’s okay.” David looks over at Jack, also being checked for injuries. Jack looks back at him, “You okay?” David, “Yeah.” When they’re done being checked, they embrace in a tight hug. Jack goes over to where Abby is trying to console Daniel, “Is he okay?” Abby, “Yeah, just scared.” Jack strokes Daniel’s hair and tries to soothe him. Aside, Helen cries into Dr. Singh’s arms, “Today was for Seth…”

Back in the residence, David and Joel sit and watch Liam make a speech on TV, “King David and all members of the royal family are safe and back at the palace. The only injury was that of a security agent, who was shot in the abdomen and is in surgery now. In the background, Jessie serves Helen and Michelle tea. Through a slightly open door, Jack yells into his cell phone, “The hospital has to open tomorrow!” a beat, “Kids! Sick kids! N-need treatment now!” Abby enters from her half of the residence, where she and Michelle live. Michelle looks up at her, “How is he?” Abby, “Fine. I think all the crying wore him out. He’s asleep.” She sits down next to Joel, and asks uneasily, “Is there anything I should know?” Joel shrugs, “Still no idea who did it. We’re looking through security cameras, social media posts, everything we can, but that takes time. Abby, “I mean, is it someone foreign? Is this something the ministry of state is going to have to deal with? I wouldn’t put this sort of thing past Wayne.” Joel, “We don’t know anything yet. Be prepared.” David, “It could also just be some crazy acting on his own.” Joel, “Or the beginning of something we haven’t even thought of yet.”

Mercy sits in her new room, painting her toenails and talking on the phone. She wears a comfortable tank top and boxer shorts as pajamas. The self-harm scars on her thighs and shoulders that she usually keeps covered with clothes and makeup are visible. Mercy, “I’m actually doing okay, all things considered. I’m living in a palace, so things could be a lot worse. Tomorrow I’m gonna try asking about finding some charities to work with. How are you holding up?” She listens. The door opens and Wayne appears on the other side. Mercy glances back at him. Wayne, “Are you finished?” Mercy talks into the phone, “Uno momento. Él está aquí.” She puts the phone down and turns to Wayne, “I’m talking to Gabriel. You told me I’d be allowed to talk to my family.” Wayne, “Why aren’t you wearing one of the nightgowns I got you?” Mercy smiles coyly, “They aren’t the most comfortable things in the world.” She gets up and goes over to him. She touches his arm and leans in close, smiling flirtily, “Besides, you’re with Hattie tonight. I prefer to save being beautiful for when I’m with you.” She kisses his cheek and goes back to the phone, “Sorry, what were you saying?” Wayne stays where he is, staring at Mercy. She laughs at something over the phone.

Dressed in a sexy retro-style nightgown, Hattie is waiting for Wayne when he enters the bedroom, looking tired. She sits up straight as he gets into bed. Hattie, “You know, I missed you terribly last week." She cuddles up to him. Wayne grabs a remote off of his side table and turns a TV on. Wayne, "I've had a good day today. David got shot at.” The news shows images of the shooting. Hattie lets out a low, happy, “Mmmm,” and rubs Wayne’s chest. Slowly, she lowers her hand towards the waist band of his boxers. Wayne, "What are you doing?!" Hattie, "I haven’t seen you in a week! I missed you!” Wayne, “Give me a chance to rest!” Hattie pulls away and settles into her place, apart from Wayne. After a moment, she says, “Do I still mean anything to you?" Wayne looks at her, “What?” Hattie, “I can't compete with her, so I’m not going to.” She gets out of the bed. Wayne, “Where are you going?” Hattie, “I’m going back to my room! I have no business being here!" Wayne, “You’re still my wife!” Hattie turns around, “You have another wife. I’ll be your queen. I’ll keep going out in public and putting a pretty face on this monarchy. I’ll raise your son to be your heir. But I can't be your wife if you’re in love with her." Wayne, "Hattie, don't embarrass yourself.” Hattie, brimming with anger, “You know nothing about humiliation!” She turns around and storms out of the room. Wayne sits there, stunned. He looks around awkwardly for a few moments, and then realizes he's alone, “Fuck.”

Hattie stumbles out into a hallway, sobbing and wiping at her eyes. She runs into a wall with a loud THUMP, and then sinks to her knees, sobbing loudly. A door opens, and Mae steps out, wearing a dressing gown, “Oh, what's wrong, dear?” Hattie sits up, wipes her eyes, and tries to re-gain some dignity. Mae kneels to sit down beside her. Hattie, “When I married Wayne, I thought I was living this fairy tale. There aren’t any fairy tales where the king marries a second wife.” Mae reaches out and puts a hand on Hattie’s arm, “This is just what being a woman is- pain and hardship. We bleed once a month and go through the pain of childbirth, but we bear it, because it’s what God wants from us.” Hattie, “I still don’t understand why God would want this! She- she didn’t even want to marry him! I know you know that this isn’t what God wants!” Mae, “God put men in charge, and it’s not up to us to question that. There were so many nights that I doubted Warner’s decision to fight King Allen. There were so many nights when I was so angry at him for drawing me and the kids into the war, but I held on, and prayed. Look at how gloriously God has rewarded us. You’re still Wayne’s wife. You have to find a way to love him through the pain.” Hattie, “How am I supposed to love him when he’s in love with someone else?” Mae, “You have to find contentment. Choose to be happy. You still have many blessings in your life. Think of Ryder and McKeighlynn.” Hattie, “He’s gonna have children with her. What’s gonna happen when she delivers a son? Is Ryder still gonna be the heir?” Mae, “That’s between Wayne and God, darlin’.” Hattie shakes her head, “So I’m completely useless. What do I do now?” Mae, “Dry your eyes, and go back in to sleep in the bed you share with your husband.” Hattie gives her a look, wrestling in her mind with what to do. Finally, she says, “Fine.” and gets up. She goes back over to the bedroom door, and opens it. In the bedroom, Wayne has called Mercy to join him. He has his arm around her shoulders, and she’s cuddled up to him. They both look up at Hattie, surprised. Mercy awkwardly scoots away from Wayne. Wayne, “You’re free to join us. Plenty of room.” He pats the empty space beside him. Hattie stares, all the voices in her head telling her to leave. She sucks up all her pride and gets into the bed. Wayne grins, “See? This ain’t so bad.” Mercy looks away. Hattie cuddles up at Wayne. He tries to pull Mercy in. Mercy glances over awkwardly at Hattie, and the two make eye contact. For a moment Hattie appreciates the irony of the situation: Mercy doesn't even love Wayne.

In David and Jack's dining room, David cleans up after dinner. Michelle and Abby are there. Daniel fusses in his swing. Abby goes over to him, "I think he's ready for bed." David, "I'll get him. You and Michelle go relax.” Abby, "You sure?” David, “Yeah, I don’t mind.” Abby picks Daniel up. Michelle goes over and kisses the top of Daniel's head, “Good night, puppy.” Cut to, David in the nursery. He gently places Daniel in his crib, “Night, Daniel." He pauses and gazes at him for a moment. Daniel peacefully settles into sleep. David gently strokes Daniel's hair.

In their bedroom, David passionately fucks Jack from behind, both of them on their knees. He’s much more forceful and dominant than usual, and Jack is loving it. He moans with helpless pleasure as David kisses and bites at his neck. David pushes him down onto his hands and knees. For a very brief moment, Jack glances back, surprised by the roughness, but then goes back to enjoying the ride. David brings Jack to climax, and then climaxes himself. They both collapse onto their pillows. Jack happily rolls onto his back, “That was…. intense…” he smiles over at David, “But I liked it.” David, “Yeah. Good.” He shifts and rolls onto his back. Jack knits his eyebrows in slight concern, “You okay?” David, “It's been a long day." He reaches out an arm and pulls Jack in closer. Jack cuddles up to him. Gently he caresses David's cheek, and then murmurs, "You sure you're okay?" David doesn't say anything. Finally, after a long moment, he says, "I thought we were past the point of getting shot at." Jack, “Seven. I was seven, first time I got shot at." David, “I don't want that. That's not the sort of life I want for Daniel." Jack, "Crazies, they happen. It- we have security." David, "Do you really think it was just some crazy?" Jack, "Could be.” They lay in silence for a long moment. David sniffs loudly, his emotion starting to get to him. He wipes at his eyes, “Shit! I’m sorry.” Jack rolls off of David’s shoulder, and then brings David in closer to him. David buries his face into Jack’s shoulder and cries.

David talks to Dr. Othman, “It used to be, I knew what the worst thing that could happen was. Something happens to Jack. It used to be that the worst thing that could happen would be Jack dies, and if that happened, I’d kill myself. It was sort of comforting- I’ve been there, faced it. It can’t possibly get any worse than that, and if it does- that’s it. I don’t have to care about anything else. That’s what’s kept me sane through this whole thing. But now…. I have Daniel. I have to be his dad. I think about him losing me like I lost my dad, and… now that’s the worst thing that can happen. It’s thrown everything out of balance and I don’t really know how to cope with it.” Dr. Othman smiles gently, “I know the feeling. When people told me that being a father would change everything, I believed them, I just wasn’t prepared for what everything meant.” David, “So how am I supposed to live with it?” Othman, “By living, first of all. You’re still new at being a father. It's supposed to be scary and overwhelming. That’s how you find what works and what doesn't. You can't walk a tight rope on your first try. You have to practice before you can go fifty feet in the air with no net.”

In the council chamber, everyone is seated. Joel talks to David, “The MI is following some leads but there’s no confirmations yet. David talks to everyone, “It’s time to get serious with the North American Union thing. I want to see drafts of what the charter could look like.” Abby starts to say something but David cuts her off, “I know it seems impossible, but we’ve done the impossible before. I want to know what possible paths we can take to getting everyone to agree to it.” Abby, “I don’t know what you’re expecting, David.” David, “We have to at least try.” He looks around the table, “What else have I got going on today?” Monique speaks up, “You’re meeting with the documentary director at 1. Her name’s Annie Lin, and she’s good, and you are not cancelling this meeting. I’ve been trying to get it set up for weeks.” David, “Am I doing all that interview stuff today?” Monique, “We’re getting that all set up. You won’t have to answer any questions today, but be thinking about what you’re going to say.” David, “Yeah, okay, whatever.” Monique looks around at everyone, “You should all be thinking about what you want to say. Nows the time to get your shit together and your stories straight.”

At the OMGossip offices, Andrew is in a meeting with his editors & publishers, “What do you mean there’s no pictures of the shooter yet? It was a big fucking crowd and everyone had cameras!” An editor, “It’s possible that the Ministry of Investigation has blocked any social media posts, but it’s more likely that the shooter was trying to blend in.” Andrew, “How do you blend in with a fucking gun?!” A publisher, “We need to be careful. If we prematurely identify the wrong person as the shooter, it can have very serious consequences.” Andrew rolls his eyes, “Ugh!” Publisher, “We could get sued. It’s best to wait until there’s an official announcement from the MI.” Andrew, “Fine!” A secretary enters, “Mr. Cross? There’s a phone call for you.” Andrew, “I’m busy!” Secretary, “It’s from King Wayne.”

In his office, Andrew answers the phone, “Hello, your majesty!” Wayne, “I saw your article the other day, and I know what you’re doing.” Andrew, “Doing?” Wayne, “I know you want some kind of job off of me, since David won’t give you one.” Andrew, “I’m just interested in telling the truth.” Wayne, “I need a new press secretary. You’re already good at making David look bad, and that’s half the job.” Andrew, “I’d be absolutely honored.” Wayne, “Don’t think this is going to lead to anything bigger. I already have plenty of faithful Ammonians in the weapons industry here, and I’m not putting someone I don’t trust in that kind of position.” Andrew, “You can absolutely trust me, your majesty.” Wayne, “Prove it.”

David sits in a meeting room with Monique and Annie Lin, the director of the documentary. David, “If Monique says you're good, then I fully believe that you're good. I agree with her, I think this is something that needs to happen, and I trust you to make sure that the end product is going to be good." Annie, “I‘m not interested in making a piece of propaganda for you. I was in Shiloh during most of the war, when the Amalekites were active. That’s the story that needs to be defined. You just happen to be a character in it." David, “Hey, I get that! Frankly, I’m happy to just be a small part of it. Honestly, I- I don't like digging around in the past that much." Annie, "That's good for me to hear. Frankly, I'd planned to do a documentary whether you cooperated or not. I’ve already done a number of interviews." David, "Oh, really? With who?" Annie, “Former officials, AFG veterans. Minor players with interesting stories.” David, “Anyone I know?” Annie, “Adam Solano.” David, genuinely surprised, “Huh, really? I- I haven’t heard form him since he left the palace. What did he say?” Annie, “I’m not revealing that unless I’m under oath. Like I said, I’m trying to tell as much of the truth as I can.” David, “Okay. Guess I’ll have to wait for the documentary to come out, then.”

At the palace day care, Daniel plays with a teacher and some other babies. David talks to another teacher, “Is it okay if I pick him up for the afternoon?” Teacher, “Of course it is, you’re the king!” David, “Great!” He goes over and picks Daniel up. Up in the residence, David plays with Daniel, lying on the floor. Daniel reaches for a toy that David holds, but grabs David’s tie instead, and pulls on it. David laughs, and Daniel’s face lights up with a smile. The door opens, and Jack walks in, “David!” David sits up, “Yeah, what?” Jack, “You turned your phone off!” David, “After yesterday, I just need some time with Daniel, okay?” Jack, “They ID’d the shooter.” David looks up at him, “Who?” Jack hesitates to answer.

In David’s office, Joel and some security officials show David an image on a computer. Joel, “This is the best image we got of the shooter. Can’t see his face, but there’s a clear shot of what he’s wearing. Using the other security cameras in the city, we were able to trace his route to a car parked several blocks away. The tags were all stolen, it looks like he managed to get out of the city. We’re still looking for him.” David, “So who is the guy?” Joel, “Before he got into the car, a camera caught one clear image of his face. It can’t be 100% percent confirmed yet, but I think you’ll be able to identify who it is.” The image on the computer screen changes. David stares at it for a moment, and then says, “Adam?” Joel, “Yeah.”

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

OK, September 21

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: How Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman make their love last

Page 1: Big Pic -- at the 77th International Venice Film Festival jury members Cate Blanchett and Matt Dillon came together for a photo-call with and without masks

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Jennifer Aniston was rumored to be pursuing her ex Brad Pitt when Brad was seen with his much younger new girlfriend Nicole Poturalski but Jen wasn’t bothered in the least by the news because she has a much younger love interest of her own -- after a string of hush-hush dates Jen’s zeroed in one handsome suitor in particular and he’s 20 years her junior and a proud beach bum unlike her other ex Justin Theroux who preferred city concrete to sand and surf

Page 6: Miley Cyrus is on a bold new path toward motherhood -- after the rough patch she went through she’s grown up a lot and realized she doesn’t need the perfect partner to start a family and she’s always wanted to be a mom so that’s what she plans to do

Page 7: This Is Us star Chrissy Metz is asking her happily married costar Mandy Moore to play matchmaker for her because she’s been without a boyfriend for nearly two years which was OK at first because she needed time to get over her ex Hal Rosenfield but now she’s finding the loneliness intolerable, Dolly Parton’s inner circle is growing concerned over her workaholic tendencies -- everyone from friends to business associates is coaxing her to slow down and enjoy life more but she won’t listen because she thinks taking a break is the same as letting folks down, though the Great White Way was forced to close its curtains due to the pandemic and keep them closed for the remainder of the year Bruce Willis is hoping to take center stage once Broadway is back in business -- he sold a lot of tickets during his limited theatrical run in Misery in 2015 even though it was a critical disaster -- he’s been itching to get back on the boards and take another crack at it and in a bid to make his potential gig even more buzzworthy he’s trying to convince amicable ex Demi Moore to be his costar even though it would be weird for Bruce’s current wife Emma Heming

Page 8: Halle Berry may not be ready to reveal the identity of her new boyfriend to the public but her mystery man has already gotten the seal of approval from her pal and personal trainer Peter Lee Thomas, the pressure’s on for Natalie Portman as she preps to start filming her superhero flick Thor: Love and Thunder because they asked her to get shredded and put on real muscle to basically become the female equivalent of Chris Hemsworth on screen but it’s a tall order since she’s been trying to fulfill it pretty much on her own at home due to the pandemic and now that she’s on location in Australia her nerves are really kicking in, Carrie Underwood’s five-year-old son Isaiah recorded a track for her upcoming Christmas album and she pushing for both her sons to have full-fledged careers in the music industry

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars are fierce in fuchsia -- Sofia Carson, Isla Fisher, Angela Bassett

Page 11: Idina Menzel, Zendaya

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Naomi Watts vs. Hilary Duff, Chloe Bennet vs. Martha Hunt, Jessie James Decker vs. Melissa Gorga

Page 14: News in Photos -- Bradley Cooper all dressed up as ‘70s hairstylist turned movie mogul Jon Peters while filming an upcoming Paul Thomas Anderson flick

Page 15: Kristen Wiig taking a hike with one of her twins, WWE star Natalie Ava Marie at the drive-in premiere of Hard Kill, Rachel Zoe at the beach in Malibu

Page 17: Sofia Richie relaxed and waded in the water while on vacation in Mexico

Page 18: Kevin Hart and daughter Heaven wear masks as they grabbed lunch in Malibu, Tori Spelling’s son Finn celebrated his birthday with siblings Stella and Liam and Beau and Hattie, Lucy Hale took her dog Elvis for a walk

Page 20: Gavin Rossdale and his dog hit the beach in Malibu, Taye Diggs during a run in Los Angeles, Cara Santana arriving at friend’s house with a bottle of wine

Page 21: Brooke Shields read Howard Stern’s latest book in the Hamptons, Erica Banks posing for a photo shoot

Page 22: Kristen Taekman picked up pizza for her kids in Malibu, Sarah Jessica Parker swung by her store to help customers try on shoes

Page 23: Gordon Ramsay posed in front of his new pool which has a transparent wall with his son Oscar, Jessie James Decker spent her morning making phone calls

Page 24: Inside My Home -- Emilia Clarke’s chic compound in Venice, California is for sale

Page 28: Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich are working toward a reconciliation nearly four months after announcing their separation but things will be much different this time around: most notably they’ll be allowed to see other people -- the problem Jules had with Brooks was his possessive and controlling behavior and she likes the idea of a looser arrangement and although most guys would have balked Brooks figures there’s no sense in trying to discourage her free spirit

Page 29: A year after tying the knot Heidi Klum is suddenly aching to have a baby with her husband Tom Kaulitz even though she’s 47 she’s taken care of herself her whole adult life and has no reason to doubt it will happen naturally but they’ll consider IVF too, Shania Twain and husband Frederic Thiebaud have grown closer during quarantine and with their 10th wedding anniversary approaching the want to celebrate their marriage by renewing their vows, though Bindi Irwin isn’t due until next year the pregnant star and husband Chandler Powell are already prepping for the big day -- they’re thinking about things like lighting and atmosphere and who’ll be in the room with them and Bindi even created a playlist with recordings of zoo animals and meditation music to listen to during labor

Page 30: Ever since Katy Perry found out she was pregnant Orlando Bloom has been filming her every move so they can one day share the footage with family and friends and fans, Henry Golding wants nothing more than to see his wife of four years Liv Lo succeed as a fitness entrepreneur -- he’s financially supportive and is using his contacts to boost publicity for her company FitSphere because he wants her to be just as proud of her work as he is of his own, Love Bites -- Minka Kelly and Trevor Noah dating, Ed Sheeran and wife Cherry Seaborn welcomed their first child, Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts are married

Page 32: Cover Story -- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban stronger than ever -- after a few bumps Nicole and Keith’s 14-year marriage is back on solid ground

Page 36: Jon Hamm tells all -- love and loss and starting over at 50 Jon is opening up like never before

Page 38: Blasts from the Past -- find out what Hollywood’s former teen heartthrobs are up to now -- Kirk Cameron, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Scott Baio

Page 39: Donny Osmond, Leif Garrett, Andrew Keegan

Page 40: Interview -- Paris Hilton gets real -- the It Girl turned businesswoman is telling all in a new documentary

Page 42: Ballroom Body Blitz -- the diet and fitness secrets of these Dancing With the Stars stunners -- Cheryl Burke, Peta Murgatroyd, Sharna Burgess

Page 43: Jenna Johnson, Britt Stewart

Page 46: Style Week -- Hunter Schafer is the global brand ambassador for Shiseido

Page 48: The new Sandra Mansour X H&M collection

Page 49: 5 minutes with Jenny Mollen on her style and her beauty routine and book suggestions

Page 52: Fragrant Candles -- Kacey Musgraves

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Joyce Giraud

Page 58: Buzz -- 2020 VMAs -- Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, The Weeknd, The Black Eyed Peas with new member J. Rey Soul replacing Fergie, Nicole Richie, Ariana Grande

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Chloe Sevigny on becoming a mom, Kate Winslet on resuming filming for the HBO series Mare of Easttown, Brian Austin Green when asked if he and estranged wife Megan Fox would ever reconcile, Kevin Jonas on Toy Story 4, Jennifer Garner on loosening her parenting rules amid the stressful pandemic

Page 61: Melanie C on never having a #MeToo experience while with the Spice Girls, Channing Tatum announcing he wrote a children’s book

Page 62: Horoscope -- Virgo Jennifer Hudson turned 39 on September 12

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Macaulay Culkin

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theheadlessgroom · 7 years

Text

Another Character Stats Thing

TAGGED: No one! TAGGING: All who’d like to do it!

GENERAL

NAME: Randall Huit Pace ALIAS(ES): The Hatbox Ghost, Ol’ Hatty GENDER: Male AGE: 234 (still mentally 33) DATE OF BIRTH: May 9th, 1782 OCCUPATION: Former haberdasher, current ‘attic ghost’ at Disneyland’s ‘The Haunted Mansion’

APPEARANCE

EYE COLOR: Olive-green; now white HAIR COLOR: Black; now gray HEIGHT: 4′12 SCARS: One, wrapping all the way around his neck, as a result of being beheaded by Emily’s groom-to-be. It’s jagged and darker-colored than the rest of his skin, and is extremely sensitive to the touch (outside of himself, only Emily is allowed to kiss or touch it) BURNS: None OVERWEIGHT: No UNDERWEIGHT: Was slightly underweight in life

FAVORITE

COLOR: White-it always reminds him of Emily and her wedding gown HAIR COLOR: Blondes-Randall has been attracted to blondes since he was a boy, long before he met Emily, and always had an intuition that he always would be EYE COLOR: Blue-again, this stems from Emily, and how entranced he always has been since he first looked into her eyes SONG: It’s probably a toss-up between Michael Buble’s Have I Told You Lately (That I Love You?) and Michael Crawford’s Music of the Night: He likes a fair amount of modern music, and he often (privately) sings them MOVIE: London After Midnight-it’s eternally his favorite Lon Chaney Sr. film, and he still fondly remembers seeing it for the first time TV SHOW: None-Randall doesn’t watch too much television FOOD: Potato soup, hands down. It’s probably only rivaled by corned beef, but he generally only has that during the holidays, such as Saint Patrick’s Day DRINK: Coffee, preferably black-Randall’s never been interested in many other types of drinks, though he never passes up a tall glass of lemonade, generously provided by the Mansion’s head cook, Lena Henshaw BOOK: Gaston Leroux’s The Phantom of the Opera, with only Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame rivaling it. He bought both books after seeing their respective adaptations (with Lon Chaney Sr. in the title roles, no less), and has lovingly taken care of them ever since then

HAVE THEY

PASSED UNIVERSITY: No HAD SEX: Yes HAD SEX IN PUBLIC: No GOTTEN PREGNANT: No KISSED A BOY: No KISSED A GIRL: Yes GOTTEN TATTOOS: No GOTTEN PIERCINGS: No HAD A BROKEN HEART: Yes BEEN IN LOVE: Yes STAYED UP FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS: Yes

ARE THEY

A VIRGIN: No A KISSER: He’s very shy about this fact, and doesn’t like to do it if others are around/are watching, but yes, Randall is something of a kisser, as Emily could happily attest SCARED EASILY: Not necessarily-being a ghost tends to lower your fears, but sometimes he loses it and gets scared (though it’s more like paranoia than outright fear) JEALOUS EASILY: Somewhat-he admittedly can be a bit hawkish at times, especially when it comes to Emily, and while he trusts her unconditionally, it doesn’t stop him from doing it from time to time TRUSTWORTHY: Yes: Randall dislikes sparking gossip or double-crossing others by revealing secrets and such, and is quite trustworthy. He’s a spook of his word, in short

DOMINANT: Flexible SUBMISSIVE: Flexible IN LOVE: Absolutely-even though his wife isn’t back in the Mansion just yet, he still loves her desperately, and has loved her since the day he met her SINGLE: Not anymore!

RANDOM QUESTIONS

HAVE THEY HARMED THEMSELVES: No THOUGHT OF SUICIDE: No ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: No WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE: No DROVE A CAR: No HAVE/HAD A JOB: Yes HAVE ANY FEARS: Yes-he’s afraid to be alone/abandoned by others, being banished again, and most of all, never seeing Emily again

FAMILY

SIBLINGS: None PARENTS: Wilhelm and June Pace nee’ Burke CHILDREN: None PETS: Five bats that have taken up residence in the corner of his room, whom he has christened Bela, Boris, Lon Sr and Lon Jr, and Elsa

#About The Groom

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redditnosleep · 7 years

Text

The 64 Wives of The Prophet of God

by cold__cocoon (click here to visit the author’s Tumblr!)

I’m an old woman now, but I still remember the year I was thirteen years old as the year I became the 64th wife of the Prophet of the only true church on the face of the earth.

For anyone else, I suppose, it would have been an honor to be wed to the one true mouthpiece of the Lord, the only Seer and Revelator, the last remnant of those miraculous centuries when the mighty hand of God made order from chaos, rained fire on cities, and brought forty days of rain to a wicked world.

But not for me. When I became his bride, I lost everything.

How strange to think that it all started with a fateful cup of coffee.

In 1952, my grandfather Ephraim LeBaron was deeply unhappy with his religion, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, more commonly known as the Mormon Church. As he often told his grandchildren, he had never been fully contented with the strict rules and senseless regulations. But the last straw for him had been his harsh reprimand by LDS Church authorities after his oldest son woke in the back seat to see his father drinking a mug of coffee on a long nighttime drive home from Idaho Falls to Salt Lake City. He’d been trying to stay awake. He’d been trying to keep from falling asleep at the wheel, possibly killing his three boys.

His intentions were meaningless to the authorities. Coffee was as wicked as alcohol in the eyes of the Church.

The following Sunday, Ephraim, a man of high status and favor in the Church, stood up and formally and publicly condemned the Mormon Church. He declared that an angel of the Lord had come to him in the night, as he joined hands with his sons in a circle of prayer in the True Order. The angel declared that the Church had begun to go astray nearly sixty years before, when it renounced polygamy for political reasons. He excoriated the resulting religion as a corrupt moneymaking institution focused more on the littlest sins than the sinners who governed it. He castigated the men who used the Church and its vast fortune as a way to advance their political careers.

His rambling, disjointed speech was recorded by his wife, Rosalyn.

“I have looked upon a Great and Spacious building,” he cries into the camera, standing straight and tall at the pulpit. “And in it, I saw many wind-up mechanical men who were pointing their brass fingers at the righteous, and mocking and scorning us, and yet! And yet, I was not ashamed! For the Angel of the Lord has covered my face with his veil of starshine, and walks with me upon the mountain, so high that we reach the astral plane. We look upon the series of chasms and caverns that was once the flaming ruins of Earth, and the Angel’s wings and sword are like pillars of fire. His eyes are dying suns, and his chanting mouth is a black hole where no starlight shines. ‘Come follow Me,’ he says, with not his mouth. ‘Come follow me,’ say the words he carved into the soft flesh of my belly with his mighty bleeding finger-claws. ‘My tomb is the deep sea, and my burial shroud will wash away your tears of blood.’ His love divine is better than wine. It’s warmer than a coffee sipped under a jeweled shawl of cold midnight sky.”

As the video continues, he then calls upon David O. McKay, President of the Church, to step down.

This was a fatal mistake.

There was no negotiation. Ephraim LeBaron was excommunicated for blasphemy and conduct unbecoming of a Latter-Day Saint.

Shortly thereafter, he left Salt Lake City and began his own church headquartered in the rugged and desolate deserts surrounding Manti, Utah.

He named his new religion the Church of the Saints of the Pillars of Fire, and set himself as its prophet. The only man on Earth to speak directly to God. The only man to hold the keys of Biblical priesthood. The only person to receive revelation that guided every action, every thought, every emotion of all his followers.

Under that self-granted authority, he ended the ban on coffee. He commanded that all the members’ property and money must be turned over to him for redistribution, a law practiced by the early Saints. He pronounced that the principle of plural marriage would be reinstated, to populate the planet with his Army of Heaven that would one day fight the inhabitants of that Great and Spacious Building.

His apostles were his three teenage sons Jehoram, Oswald, and Ulysses. His Apostles and disciples were the other men and their families who had apostatized after being moved by his rousing, yet incoherent speech at that church meeting.

The Mormon Church could have ignored this scandal. They should have become habituated to renegade prophets and polygamist breakoffs forming constantly. Even though polygamy—and having relations with a woman who is not one’s wife—was illegal and could land a man in jail, they simply didn’t have the resources to keep up.

But for some unknowable reason, they chose to target my grandfather. They sent their cronies from Salt Lake City to Manti to have him assassinated in the presence of his followers and his children.

Ephraim knew they were after him. He’d seen them in the corners of his vision, tall men wearing black robes and white plague-doctor masks, hiding their swords, always watching. Even when his wives and sons couldn’t see them, even when he closed his eyes, he felt their presence.

This is a story he told me often, when he was alive. It’s my favorite part of the story.

One night, he heard the rumble of car tires down the dirt road that led to the compound. He heard them come to a slow halt. He heard the car doors slam. Four sets of heavy footsteps trudging upon the frozen sagebrush.

He didn’t wait for them to break in and seize him. He crawled out the bedroom window, leaving his newest wife, fifteen-year-old Priscilla, behind.

“Wasn’t she scared?” I’d always ask my grandfather at this point in his tragic tale, even though I knew the answer.

“Certainly not!” he’d always reply. “Priscilla was as brave as I told her to be. She was always ready to sacrifice her life for her priesthood head. Just as you, Liahona, may be asked to do someday for your husband. We’re never safe here. There are always men watching us.”

When he’d say that, I’d suddenly be seized by a strange feeling in my heart, like a turning and twisting of the wheels of time. It churned out a mixture of apprehension and something more foreign, an emotion so distant to my heart that I felt as if I were seeing it, blurry and indistinct, from far away. I stood in that strange place and saw a vision of myself, another version of me, living a life as free as a whirling, twirling tumbleweed. A life of surprise and spontaneity with no rules, no roles, no barbed-wire fences. No hands holding me back from breathing in the wind of this beautiful world and tasting its red dust with the thirsty tongues of my mind.

But another part of me admired Priscilla for her willingness to offer her life. And give her life she did. Those hired cronies shot Priscilla dead in cold blood, as she weakly tried to defend herself with a potato peeler.

Ephraim heard gunshots as he was running to the home of his newest disciple, Helaman Barlow. But he never looked back.

Helaman opened his home and his heart to his prophet. He led him to the pig pen. Ephraim huddled down with the pigs, who did not squeal and run away. And when the henchmen came to his door and asked him where Ephraim LeBaron was hiding, Helaman lied. He told them Ephraim had returned to Salt Lake City to assassinate President McKay.

The men still didn’t believe him. They searched his barn, and came very close to the pigpen.

Here’s my other favorite part of the story.

My grandfather says that as he lay there among the calm, quiet pigs, he saw the angel with the wings like a pillar of fire descending from heaven. The angel approached the men from behind and shielded their eyes with his burning sword.

“They didn’t even know they couldn’t see!” he always shouted at this point in the story, hiding his eyes with his hands and then suddenly lifting them away, to make us little children laugh. “And they were looking right at me!”

The henchmen shrugged. They had searched the entire compound, and found nothing. So they left.

Ephraim stood up from the pigpen, and grasped Helaman’s hands in his. He poured out his gratitude upon his newfound friend.

“I’ll give you anything,” he offered. “Whatever I possess in my treasure chest belongs to you.”

“Your daughters,” Helaman replied, without a moment of hesitation. “Let me marry them, and be your son, too. Allow me to sit at the right hand of your glory, and bask in your celestial holiness.”

“They will be your heavenly banquet of queens and priestesses!” Ephraim vowed. At that time, of course, he had no daughters. Rosalyn had borne him only sons, and of his seven surviving new wives, only Lurleene and LaNora had given birth so far—also to boys. Tabitha, Lurleene, Claribel, Jorjean, and Pauline were still pregnant.

But soon enough, he had a whole beehive full of daughters. Seventeen of them, in fact, eventually married Helaman before Ephraim's death: Bathsheba, Davina, Marjory, Lottie, Constance, Freda, Enid, Nigella, Hattie, Sariah, Vonda, Hippolyta, Crown-of-Thorns, Nazareth, Loretta, Calpurnia, and Verlene.

As they came of age—eleven, twelve, thirteen, never older than that—they were all given in marriage to Helaman Barlow. All of them. I was only a little girl when they were wed, but I well remember my aunties’ tears as their hair was tightly braided and their white dresses were mended in preparation for the last day of their childhood.

For twenty years, the Church of the Saints of the Pillar of Fire prospered, growing to include over three hundred members.

Yet there was much discontent. These marriages of these girls made the other men angry. But not in defense of the girls. It made their furious jealousy grow like a moist fungus in their hearts. For all of the daughters of Ephraim were lovely and sweet, as precious to everyone as a flock of fawns, and these envious men were like hungry wolves who saw only fresh meat. They had already been rewarded for their loyalty with beautiful young wives, and yet this was not enough for those ravenous wolf-men.

So they rebelled, and overthrew my grandfather.

And it was Helaman Barlow who led this rebellion.

Some of the men, watching Helaman be gifted seventeen virginal child brides, were envious of his bounty. They saw him doing nothing in particular to be given such splendid rewards. These men, all of whom had labored and toiled and surrendered their life savings to build up the sacred kingdom of my grandfather’s church, were resentful of the wives Ephraim had granted them: older widows, ugly girls, deformed girls, tomboyish girls, opinionated girls, headstrong and adventurous girls who were not virgins.

Ephraim always kept the best girls for himself, always insisting that the Lord himself had sent an angel with a flaming sword when it was time to marry again. When he was killed after twenty years of governing his church, he had taken forty-six wives.

The other men, the hungry men, came to Helaman in the night. They dragged him naked from his home and his bed, out into the desolate desert.

They tied him to a fencepost with barbed wire and rope, and tortured him until the sun rose. They tied him to the back of a truck by the ankle and drove along a bumpy gravel road. They held flames to his feet until the skin charred and blistered. They carved holes in his hands and stuck rusty nails into them. They covered his skin with honey and biting ants. They did many other unspeakable things that none but God and the moon and the stars remember now.

“Please release me,” Helaman cried out to God, and to the men who bound him. This was always my least favorite part of the story, after all the times he told it to me and to our children. But I always let him recount it to me anyway.

“We’ll release you,” the men replied, “if you kill the Prophet in vengeance for his wayward lusts.”

I don’t believe those renegades needed to torture him. I think if he had known he secretly had the support of others, he would have committed the murder with no hesitation.

By that time the next day, my grandfather was found dead with his guts hanging out of his abdomen, a branding iron mark on his forehead, and a wound where his genitals had been torn off. For good measure, mostly to ensure there would be no power struggle among his heirs, all of Ephraim’s sons above the age of twelve were also dead, their eyeballs and tongues carved out, their scrotums carelessly ripped almost completely from their bodies.

On the third day, Helaman Barlow declared himself the new Prophet of the Church of the Saints of the Pillars of Fire. He claimed he had killed Ephraim and his sons according to the traditional Mormon doctrine of blood atonement.

“The blood of Christ cannot wash away all sins,” Helaman intoned from the pulpit that Sunday. I watched him with my own eyes, and heard him with my own ears. We all knew what would be said. There was no need to record this speech.

“There are some transgressions so unspeakable, so offensive to the son of God who shed his blood for us, that the sinner himself must atone for them with his own blood. And that blood must fall upon the Earth. Only then can Ephraim and his sons attain their noble thrones in their celestial kingdom.”

His first act as prophet was to inhabit my grandfather’s enormous mansion that he had spent years constructing and adding on, building walls upon walls crowned with thorny concertina wire. His second act was to marry all forty-six of Ephraim’s widows. Added to the seventeen of his own, that gave him sixty-three wives in total.

His third act was the make me the sixty-fourth.

How I begged my mother to hide me away, to open the window and toss me out with the old washwater, to throw me in a pigpen and let the pigs eat my flesh from my bones, to bury me alive under the sand. But she knew she could do nothing. Even as the wife of the former prophet’s son, she never had any authority. All our lives, we girls and women had been trained and conditioned to never say no to a man, never damage his tenuous ego, never thwart his divine authority. To honor his priesthood by upholding his gifts of dominion. To recognize that men were guided by revelation from God, and women were created to enact these revelations. Disobedience to a man was disobedience to God himself. So when the prophet ordered her to hand me over to him, how could either of us have refused?

On that day, I knew what was coming, and I feared it. I wept as I made myself ready, the same way my aunties had done. We all understood the purpose of a prophet’s summoning. We all remembered how the girls who had been called to his side had never returned, had given up everything they had ever known to be made reluctant wives, had suddenly been made from girls into women with no preparation.

I knew that once I went through the gate, I would never return.

My little sisters and helped my bind my hair into an elaborate crown of braids. I wore my most modest long-sleeved sky-blue dress with the single row of lace on the sleeves. It reminded me of a clear, sage-scented summer morning before the rainstorms arrived, when the fluffy white clouds perched poised on the horizon, like a cat about to pounce. I wish the memory could have calmed me.

Yet still, my heart trembled and twisted in my chest. I wanted to tear it out and bury it in the sand, letting it sprout and grow and become a tall, talk tree that I could climb and someday reach heaven.

When I arrived at his office inside the walled fortress, the room that used to be my grandfather’s office, he smiled to see me. A cavalier, condescending smile. A long, distant stare. A word that seemed poised on the horizon of his lips, ready to pounce. I suddenly regretted making myself so pretty.

“Liahona, I have seen an angel,” he whispered, in that low and serious voice of his.

I didn’t understand if he was referring to me, or was beginning a speech. My grandmothers once told me that Helaman was a rather ordinary speaker until he met Ephraim. Their minds grew together and intertwined like brambles, each melding and thriving off the other’s thoughts, until they became equally obsessed with speaking in metaphors and similes. That’s what made them both so charismatic—people took notice of their unusual words.

I looked away from my feet and into his face, and in the moment our eyes met, he reminded me so much of my grandfather—his smile a grand monument to false kindness, manipulative love. Displaying an artifice of affection towards the people in his life, one that only grew so far as we could return it back to him. People existed for whatever purpose we could serve in his life. His love was seasonal, conditional—shining or shunning based on how closely we followed his commandments. Never warm enough, always leaving us wanting.

“The angel,” he continued, “was the celestial being whose wings were like pillars of fire, whose mouth was a black hole, and whose sword burned with a mighty flame. You remember your grandfather’s stories of this angel, I’m sure? He appeared to me last night, hovering above the sacred altar, when I joined hands in chanting prayers with my sons. He told me a terrible secret. Do you know what secret that might be, Liahona?”

I looked away. I stared out the window that faced east. Through it, I could count seventeen tumbleweeds colliding against a barbed-wire fence. They’d been blown by the wind, and had only wanted to roll along with the breeze, but something hard and sharp and cruel had held them back.

“The angel told me that your grandfather was not your grandfather,” Helaman said. “He was your natural father.”

I turned my face to his.

“Jehoram was my father,” I whispered. “You killed my father. He’s no danger to you.”

“No, little one. Ephraim came to your mother on the night you were conceived, and he lay with her, but not as he lay among my swine. He touched her flesh with his own naked flesh. Do you understand? Do you comprehend how children are formed in their mother’s belly?”

I shook my head and looked at my feet as I felt my face grow hot. I wasn’t supposed to know, and yet I’d heard from other newlywed girls the details of a wife’s secret duties. All a girl needed to know about marital relations would be taught to her by her husband after the wedding. Keeping her ignorant would prevent her from wandering away from her virtue, her purity, a price greater than rubies, a treasure more valuable to her than her very life.

A girl who had lost hers before marriage might as well pray for death.

“Do you know what else the angel told me?” he asked, his voice rising in pitch yet lowering in volume. “He said that since your grandfather was your natural father, the eternal oath he swore to me is still binding, even in death. You are his daughter. Therefore, the angel commanded, I must marry you. Today.”

“I can’t leave my mother in her grief,” I said bitterly. “She mourns the death of my father so deeply, that she can barely leave her bed.”

“The Lord will care for her and mend her heart. We all must do things we are reluctant to do, in service to the Almighty. If you harden your heart to me, Liahona, you let Satan in, and he will tempt you toward further disobedience. A disobedient girl who has been seized by Satan will never be made glorious in the Second Coming of Christ.”

“But I’m only thirteen,” I said. “I don’t know if you knew that.”

“As lovely and docile as you’ll ever be,” he answered, and smiled again. “There are many men out there who want to snatch away your purity. I will honor and protect it, if you’re a good girl and do as I say.”

As he spoke, his words began to fade away. I felt the floor and the walls and the ceiling and the windows disappear.

I saw myself as if looking down from above. There it was again: the portal to another version of me, one where I walked, naked and alone, through a vast and unoccupied desert world, wearing a crown of thorns, free as a drifting cloud.

I watched myself wander, crossing through immense plains of sagebrush and salt. I climbed mountains so high, their craggy peaks scraped open the sky, leaving black holes where angels entered and exited. The wind from their enormous wings tickled my face and dried the blood on my bare feet. When I crossed the highest peak, I stood and looked down upon the land. I thought on the horizon, I could see the shine of—what was it? The sea? I began walking toward it.

By the time I came back to the old reality—the one I had left, standing there in the office that was once my grandfather’s—the wedding was over. I had become Liahona Barlow, wife of the Prophet.

Helaman immediately took me to his bedroom. He told me undress and get into bed lying on my back. Then he left the room, telling me he’d be back in ten minutes.

I let myself break down. I fell to my knees and wept, releasing all the anger and rage and sorrow and fear I’d kept silent for so long. “Keep sweet!” the mothers had always told us girls. “Keep sweet no matter what! Let the Holy Spirit in your heart, until it overflows and courses through your every vein. The enraged, the resentful, the stingy, and the sullen will not survive the judgement of God when his son returns. Keep sweet the fountainhead of your heart!”

With my heart, my mind, my tongue, my entire body, I cried out to the God who had betrayed me.

“Heavenly Father,” I sobbed, “What have I done to displease you? I have no secret sins, no transgressions deserving of this punishment, this torture! I have always ever turned my face towards your warmth and your holy brilliance! I have kept sweet and surrendered my feelings, and all this I have done only to honor and magnify your sacred priesthood and the men who hold it. Please, stop the forceful hand of the man I’ve married, and let me go home. Or at least, give me a few years. I swear to you, when I am old enough, I will submit to anything you ask of me. I will—”

And then—

A light.

A white light descended from the darkness of that cold and lonely bedroom.

A being stepped out of the light. A creature neither male nor female, neither human nor animal. Its eyes were like falling stars streaking across a black sky, and its mouth seemed to contain the entire universe in a small space. Its wings were of green fire that made no heat and no smoke, only light. On its belt was a sword that glowed with an unearthly radiance.

It spoke to me. Its voice was like the roar of a faraway river.

“Liahona,” it thundered. “Beloved handmaiden of the Lord.”

I trembled. I tried to make words, but my mouth was stopped as if with cold clay.

“I am a messenger of God, whose holy name you have called. He has heard you prayer, and now you must hear my voice! You will conceive a daughter who is not of the Barlow kin. She will be a peculiar and a marvelous child. But she wears a robe of blood and wields a corkscrew sword. One day, her touch will hold the venom of snakes, and the seas will rise at her command. Earthquakes will follow where she walks. With an iron rod will she strike down and topple the pillars of creation. You must guide her, Liahona! Be the compass of your namesake. If you fail, then so will she. Be ready to give your life for her, when the time comes.”

And then—before I could attempt to speak again—

The angel was gone, and the light was swallowed up by the darkness.

I stood up. I wiped my tears with the hem of my white wedding dress.

Then I removed that dress.

I crawled in to bed, and I waited for my husband.

I am sure he believed he helped me conceive on that night, but I knew the truth. She was already there, a girl not of the Barlow kin.

Nine months later to the day, I gave birth to my daughter, Zarahemla.

As the angel had promised, she was a strange and ethereal little creature, from the moment she became aware of the world. Always more sensitive than other children to loud noises and bright lights and raised voices. Her eyes rarely met those of the people around her. Her mouth forever seemed to have trouble forming the right words. Her hair was as fine and voluminous as cattail fluff, and dark, so dark, a black waterfall, unlike anyone else’s hair. She stood out in a room full of Helaman’s children, like a gamboling lamb in a meadow of fawns.

Yet I loved her fiercely. I adored her more than I’d cherished the parents and siblings and friends that had been taken from me when I became locked in the prophet’s fortress. She was a wellspring of peace and solace in my new life, my sudden adult life.

After her birth, I began to have more frequent visions. They were often brought on by stress, fear, or being suddenly startled. They arose in me every night my husband came to my bed. Sometimes a particular scent would trigger these mental wanderings; other times, the angle of light in the evening, or the color of the sky in the morning would cause my soul to float above my body. I’d watch myself wander through uncanny kingdoms of dust and rocks, always ending at the same place: at the summit of the highest mountain. I’d look down and see the alabaster city beside the great expanse of water, and I’d begin to walk toward it, eager to understand its mysteries.

I’d never make it there. I’d wake before I reached my destination.

Zarahemla traveled through worlds more distant and fantastic than mine, I was certain. I often wondered if she loved me at all, for she barely seemed to notice me, most of the time. Her mind was forever soaring and twirling in the angelic realm. Even when her body was with me, responding to my words, I could tell by the look in her eyes that her soul was travelling through the astral plane.

I’d often discover her to be missing from the home, when it came time to do scripture study with her three younger brothers. I’d find her outside in the yard, building little cities of white pebbles for the ants that crisscrossed the dust.

On one of those occasions, when she was six years old, I decided there would be no scripture study that day. I sat with her in the hazy autumn sunshine, and asked her about the cities. She smiled downward, turning away from my gaze.

“It’s the city you see from the mountaintop. Look! There’s the big water.”

She pointed at a small puddle in the dirt, a leftover from last night’s rain.

I felt my eyes fill with tears at this little soul’s deep wisdom.

“Someday we’ll go there, Mama,” she whispered, looking up briefly to catch a glimpse of my tears. “To the city of white towers and blue waters.”

“We will,” I told her, wiping my eyes. “And not just in dreams. We’ll escape this fortress, and we’ll walk there with the stars pointing the way like Nephi’s miraculous golden liahona. I’ll cradle you in my arms and carry you across the sharp rocks. Then I’ll set you down and let you run barefoot along the shore of the big, shining water until the sun sets.”

She beamed. Her hands reached out to catch the sunlight and drink it in, like a little sprouting plant. And once again, she became lost in her beautiful daydreams.

I would have let her stay there forevermore, spending her life drifting among the stars, if I could have. I would have let her keep her natural sweetness. This world is a frightening one for sensitive little girls, and I only wanted peace for my otherworldly little creature’s heart.

But that was not to be. She was shaken and yanked back to Earth by a cruel hand.

In 1986, when she was fourteen, Helaman stood up in church on a fateful Sunday morning.

“Zarahemla Barlow,” he announced, “is not of my bloodline.”

No heads turned, but I could still feel all eyes watching me. Watching us.

Of course she isn’t! I wanted to scream. She is the progeny of heaven’s angels!

“Brothers and sisters,” he went on, “I must tell you the most rare vision I have had. Last night, the Holy Spirit moved my heart, to tell me that the Lord wished to speak with me. I stood over the altar, and I prayed to let my eyes and heart be sufficiently opened. And it came to pass, that thereupon he sent his angelic messenger whose wings and sword are like a pillar of fire. He let it be known to me that Zarahemla is no daughter of mine, but the product of incestuous relations between Liahona and her late grandfather, Ephraim LeBaron.”

I could feel my soul slipping away from my body. It yearned to walk away from this humiliation, to escape into its supernatural haven. But I commanded it to stay. Just this once.

“And it came to pass that the angel also informed me that Liahona had deceived me. She was not a virgin when I married her, but was seven days pregnant with this abomination of a child. And Liahona is, herself, the natural daughter of Ephraim. As such, today I declare my intention to annul the marriage my adulterous wife Liahona, and take Ephraim’s daughter Zarahemla in marriage, as Ephraim promised me more than thirty years ago.”

Zarahemla, sitting huddled and drawn next to me, hid her face behind her untamed black hair. Her breath was coming in fast, and when her fearful eyes met mine through her shroud, I knew that this was the moment she fell from her celestial realm and became unwillingly anchored to this one.

Helaman divorced me the next day, a Monday. He tied my hands and ankles together, forced me into his pickup truck, drove me into Manti, and dumped me out behind an abandoned hotel. It took me hours to free myself, and when I had, I knew I’d be too late.

On Tuesday, he married Zarahemla in a secret ceremony.

On Wednesday, I knelt in a little grove of trees in a public park. As I had done thirteen years ago, I cried out to my God. But this time, I didn’t plea for help. I only apologized.

“You heard my prayer once before, Father in Heaven,” I wept. “Your messenger gave me a child that was a comfort and a blessing to me. And I’ve lost her. Through my cowardice, I stripped her of her crimson robe and her flaming sword. I failed her in whatever divine purpose you gave her. I deserve only hellfire. I’m sorry, Lord.”

There was no reply.

On Thursday, I was once again put into a car against my will, but this one was a police car. I was charged with loitering and spent the night in a jail cell.

On Friday, I was unchained. I spoke to the police officer who interrogated me. I told them everything I knew about Helaman Barlow and his burrowed hive of unwilling child brides.

On Saturday, the police made a few phone calls. They gathered the information they needed, and made ready to charge him with the rape of a minor child.

On Sunday, a week after Helaman declared his intention to divorce me and marry our daughter, the long line of police cars followed my directions to the massive walled compound of God’s Prophet, Seer, and Revelator.

“Is this a house?” Officer Aguilar asked me, of the sprawling adobe-brick fortress rising up out of the barren desert like a minor mountain. “Or a space station?”

“It’s his Great and Spacious building,” I said. “Nobody can mock him from the inside if he’s no longer on the outside.”

I remembered what my grandfather had said to me, many years ago. That one day, men who were our enemies would threaten me to make me surrender my husband. I would be asked to sacrifice my life to protect him.

That moment was now.

And in that moment—I remembered the tumbleweed I had seen in my first vision, decades ago, sitting at my grandfather’s knee, hearing his story of brave, obedient Priscilla. I recalled how that little tumbleweed had yearned and strained to wheel and spin across open desert, unshackled and unhindered.

In my mind, I opened the gate. I let the tumbleweed fly free.

In my mortal body, I opened another gate. I let the police officers in, and they knocked down the door of Helaman’s fortress.

His wives and children, all wielding various kitchen tools in self-defense, were gathered up within an hour. They were reluctant to leave at first, but quickly surrendered when I gave them my word that they would be safe, and would not be separated.

The other men in the compound, including Helaman’s quorum of twelve apostles and other such henchmen, were also rounded up, but for a different reason. Those whose wives were underage were not released.

After hours of searching, there were only two people we hadn’t found yet.

It was my idea to search the old pig pen where my grandfather had crouched on the night he hid from the big-city cronies. It was my testimony that convinced the police officers—that the pig pen, long empty of swine, was one of the most holy places in the colony.

Oh, how I wished I hadn’t surrendered the interest in my daughter to them.

They broke down the door of the boarded-up pig pen.

They were the ones who found Helaman dead, guts spilling out from his belly, tongue severed, eyes carved out, genitals torn from his body. His blood was shed on the floor of that filthy pig sty, where it belonged.

And they were the ones who found Zarahemla there, crouched above him with a sword in her hand, her teeth clenched like barbed wire, her eyes fiery with rage and fear, her breath heaving fast and hard.

I know what I saw as I ran, breathless and weak, to the pig pen where the police had gathered, guns drawn and pointed at my divine creature. I saw the sword she held in her trembling hands, burning with the smokeless, heatless fire of heaven itself. The policemen did not see this. They only saw it covered in blood. Helaman’s blood.

That was the last time I saw my daughter. They told me she was guilty of murder, but I told them she was only fulfilling the promise given to me by that angel on the night of her conception. She had toppled the pillars of creation. Where was the sin in that? Was the world not set right by the spilling of his wicked blood?

I don’t know what night it was when two police officers came to me at my hotel room in Manti, knocking softly on the door, standing there with hands clasped and faces shamefully downturned, the way my daughter used to do. Maybe it was Monday. Maybe it wasn’t.

They told me that when they tried to take Zarahemla’s sword away, she fought back. She kicked and screamed and bit, like a caged animal. Like a girl that was traumatized and expecting to be brutalized by a man again, I said.

They had been forced to restrain her.

But somehow, something had gone wrong. She had been inadvertently strangled by the too-tight restraints put upon her, and had died on the floor of her jail cell, unarmed, covered in pig filth and her own terrified urine.

I let out all my tears to the Lord Almighty, on that night. I raged and screamed with an anguish only a mother can feel, with a voice of a pitch that only God could hear. I howled with a mother’s madness, with the sorrow of Mary kneeling at the cross. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair, to lead me back to my child, to rescue every other innocent little one in that compound, only to take mine away for doing what she had been born to do. Why had he not taken me instead? Why had he prepared me to lay down my life, only to take it from one who had only wanted to live a quiet and luminous life among the clouds?

I recalled the Biblical book of Job, the story of that kind old man who loses everything, and yet still, foolishly, praises God. I cursed Job, for encouraging God’s savagery. I cursed Abraham for his willingness to sacrifice his son Isaac to a capricious and unworthy deity. In my unholy furor and my mother’s agony, I cursed the Lord for taking delight in slaughtering the stainless, guiltless children of his most devoted.

As punishment for my impiety, God took my visions from me. My gift of wandering among the spiraling pathways of the cosmos was gone.

I had nowhere to run from my suffering and torment. I would be forced to bear my burdens with the shoulders of my reluctant body.

I moved on, in my own way, as time moves on. I pushed forward in the only way a grieving parent can, walking the path of reality with my eyes focused on my feet. Not seeing, not touching, not hearing anything around me. Walking steadily forward, unsupported, as if treading on a thin filament of spider’s silk, with only void surrounding. Crawling out of a deep pit whose walls were so high, they blocked out the sun. Some folks were kind enough to throw me a rope and encourage me to climb, but they never seemed to notice that my hands and feet were still tied together.

The Church of the Saints of the Pillar of Fire quickly disbanded. After Helaman Barlow’s death and the arrest of so many men, the remaining members were disillusioned and shattered. Their faith fragmented as their families did. They saw no point in continuing. They reclaimed their money, their land, their property, and their daughters, and they, too, moved on.

My three young sons and I went west, to San Diego, a city within sight of the ocean. We walked on the beach and they cooled their burning toes in the frigid waves. I thought this might be the shining city of white towers by the water that Zarahemla and I had both envisioned, but it didn’t feel familiar. The police officers in Manti had told me that the city of Salt Lake was right near a body of water—a massive, shallow lake so salty that a body could float when laid upon it—but I had a difficult time believing that this promised land could have been a little more than 100 miles to the north. I could have walked there in a few days. I could have picked my daughter up in my arms, held out my soul’s compass, and began the trek over the mountains of sharp rocks.

But this past autumn, when I visited Salt Lake City for the first time in my 58 years, I understood everything.

The visions have returned to me. When the sunlight brushes its delicate fingers against the clouds at just the right angle, these scenes flicker at the back of my eyes, like a memory of a place I’ve never been, like a portal to a reality where all of this never happened. I see it all as if from above, from the highest mountain of sharp stones.

And in these visions, the ghost of Zarahemla is standing on the shore of the Great Salt Lake. Fourteen years old, innocent, beautiful, connected, running along the shore with joyful feet, her white dress flapping like the wings of a dove. She’s in the reality where she belongs. Now, she doesn’t need to let her mind fly to a better place. She is anchored to the shore, to the one who loves her the most. She turns and she sees me, and she smiles with the delight of recognition.

She reaches out with an object in her hands.

In these visions, I have finally descended the mountain I tried for years to leave behind me. I cross the barren valleys and the alabaster plains of white salts. The ground crunches under my bare feet as I walk.

It saddens me that I always come back from the vision in the moments before our fingers touch.

But—very soon, perhaps, no longer will we be separated by space and the astral plane.

Now, I know what I must do to reach her. She’s whispering the way. She’s guiding me with the map she has drawn with stars and shimmering salts.

She’s guarding herself with a sword from my guilty hands. She is offering me this sword that flames like a pillar of fire, holding it poised above the skin of my belly. With fire in her eyes, she is telling me what must happen next, that I too must shed my blood upon the salt of the earth, to spill it in righteous atonement for what have done. Only then can I complete the journey to the shining expanse of silver water.

Only then, can we finally be together.

#creepy #horror story #cults

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