#(that's my jezri tag)
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Finished the Daxcest. Ezri/Joran FTW!!! It's not quite Ezri/Joran/Julian but in a way it kind of is? Depends how much you count Julian as an active participant in this one, I suppose. In which case how and why have I written more than one Dubcon Trill Threeway in my life?
Title: The Killer In Me (AO3)
Fandom: Deep Space Nine
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Ezri Dax/Joran Dax, Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax
Wordcount: 1496
Additional Tags: Selfcest, Daxcest, Dax's Murder-Host, Dubious Consent, Murder Kink, Dark, Fucked Up, oh ezri no, Sexual Content, descriptions of violence, sort of a Trill threeway?, joran's in julian how can that possibly go wrong eh?, let dax fuck dax
Summary: Ezri and Joran. (And Julian. Sort of.)
#ds9 fic#daxcest#i love ezri passionately#joran dax#okay sex#(that's my jezri tag sorry)#kind of nervous about this one#it's a bit fucked up and also some people hate selfcest#my fic
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i've been thinking about that poll asking which star trek show they'd give a new season to and maybe i misinterpreted how it was supposed to be read but i look at the tags and everyone's answering like they were gonna get their dream season if they got another season for their specific show instead of what a realistic new season with the production crew associated with that show would have produced. which. i'm sorry to have to be the person to say this but
voyager was never gonna get a real episode let alone a season where they adjusted to the alpha quadrant. the way they wrote endgame says as much. i bet they would have found a way to make some retcon or time travel doohickey to land them right back in the alpha quadrant if they'd been forced to do another season even after endgame aired. also they were plain out of ideas by season seven, i think an eighth season would have been just as bad as the seventh was. voyager was put out of its misery and thank god for that. and i say that when voyager is my favorite show
the plans for another ds9 season are...divisive to say the least if you're interested in hearing about that. but to the people saying they would want another ds9 season i go: was there not a perfectly reasonable endpoint to that show? if anything i think you guys got spared of seeing long term jezri and nog being killed. i don't think your wildest dreams would have been fulfilled with season 8 of ds9. just sayin'.
tng is a similar case of voyager where it's clear the downturn of quality really came from how they had exhausted literally every possible concept and their status quo for prime rerun rewatchability meant that another season of tng would have done absolutely nothing for that show. there is so much tng already guys. how is that not enough for you.
#i do give it up for the shows cancelled before a predetermined actual end could be given to them that was actually good#like tos or lower decks or ENTERPRISE#LITERALLY WHY I VOTED ENTERPRISE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ENTERPRISE WAS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE!#star trek#fandom
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A Case for Jezri
Listen, I know how the DS9 fandom feels about Jezri, but I just wanted to take a moment to explain why I like it. I'm not asking people to agree; I just want to give it some love because there are things to enjoy and to explore in that ship that haven't gotten any discussion.
(Also why is 99.9% of the Jezri tag just people tagging their hate? Who raised y'all? Please be respectful towards your fellow fans who may not feel the same as you.)
I'm no stranger to finding my gold nuggets in the trash heap when it comes to Star Trek ships. I'm the type to find the things to love about something that was executed poorly by the writers. Datasha is my TNG OTP. Need I say more.
So don't think I don't understand some of the main objections people have to Jezri. I get it. I do. So with that out of the way, let's get into the good stuff.
Julian's personal story, particularly in the later parts of the show, has a strong motif of loneliness, which comes from two or three different aspects of his life. The first one is of course the fact that he's an augment. He's socially isolated by his mental and physical superiority. No one can keep up with him, and he has to diminish himself to fit in, especially before the truth comes out. The second is the evolving lives of the people closest to him. There reaches a point where nearly all of his closest friends are either married or in committed relationships, and he's the free floater who has to hope he can still fit into their lives somewhere. The third aspect is his own shit luck with relationships. No one sticks with him for very long for whatever reason. And there was the everything with Jadzia on top of it all. Poor man couldn't catch a break.
And then along comes Ezri. Quark is quick to treat her as same old Dax with a new coat of paint, for whose affections he immediately tries to generate competition with Julian, because he is a sexist little toad. Julian, to his great credit, is like "what the fuck, Quark" and makes it clear that he sees Ezri as a different person, not Jadzia 2.0 who he now has a chance with. Ezri is his new friend, and he's not going to be pulled into Quark's bullshit.
The writing is unfortunately rather uneven when it comes to showing us the establishment and development of that friendship, so we have to piece together the vibes from several disparate moments, some big and meaningful and others more incidental, but that's not too difficult for me. Fandom has done more with less.
Anyway! Through all of that, we kind of get to see that Ezri sees Julian differently than Jadzia did in a way that allows them to click very quickly. Jadzia sort of saw Julian as an adorable puppy excitedly wagging his tail at her (and by the time he matured into someone who was more her type, he'd stopped pursuing her and then she was with Worf). Ezri sees him as the charming guy who knows how to have a good time. It seems natural to me that Julian would quickly latch onto someone who thought his holosuite adventures were demonstrative of a healthy sense of fun and not a sign of immaturity. Ezri is literally the bad bitch he pulled by being autistic.
And they are such adorable awkward nerds with each other! The big eyes! The soft touches! The fumbling! The trying to keep things platonic because they just like each other so much that they're afraid of messing things up! The breaking down and making out anyway because they can't escape the vibes! *chef's kiss*
The thing that completely sold me on Jezri, though, was their moment together at the end of the last episode where Julian is mourning Miles' departure and feeling lonely and then Ezri rolls up like "Hey~!" and expresses the desire to have dinner and do holosuite adventures with him. That was so beautiful to me. Everything is changing and so many of his friends have left and it's the ultimate pit of loneliness for him, but then there's Ezri. He has her now and he's not alone and the war is over and there's hope and the start of something new and soft. I cried, y'all. Like maybe it's because I'm at a place in my life where I feel left behind while I watch all my friends move on with their lives, but man, the way Ezri represents the light at the end of a dark tunnel for Julian just got me so good.
Here are some of the headcanons I have to supplement the sparse canon material and give further depth and enjoyment to my shipping experience:
They're both bisexual.
Since they're both healthcare professionals, they have a lot to talk about where their fields intersect. They make a great team when they're working, but this also results in them developing a shorthand with each other that is somewhat infuriating for others.
Ezri's closeness with Julian allows her to better develop her friendship with Garak, and there are several times when all three of them get up to shenanigans together.
They sometimes get each other new tea blends to try as a fun little surprise.
Ezri tries to teach Julian some of the gymnastics stuff she remembers at least once with mixed results.
Julian particularly loves hugging Ezri, and she particularly loves holding his hand.
Julian persuades Ezri to read Lord of the Rings, and she gets really into it, so they end up doing a holosuite adaptation as Legolas and Gimli. Ezri plays with her beard a lot.
Quark fucking hates how cute they are and Kira makes a point to tell him about every sweet moment she sees between them just to fuck with him.
Ezri very much gets in on the Fuck With Section 31 train and helps Julian do spy shit. The criminal psychology knowledge comes in handy.
Anyway, these are my feels. Please don't air your grievances here. I just want to sail on my dinghy and hope someone out there is sailing with me.
#Star Trek#DS9#Julian Bashir#Ezri Dax#Jezri#if you're gonna comment just please don't be an asshole I'm so tired
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WIP Tag Game
RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it.
Thanks for tagging me @nebulouscoffee! I love a chance to look at some of my truly unhinged WIPs lmao auwhs;oidjfkl'
Tagging: @wanderingwriter87 @ectogeo-rebubbles @shakespearevillain @gemstonecircles @mercysmorn @the-last-dillpickle @philosopherking1887 (lmao I could easily keep going, there are so many great writers in this fandom, but I'll stop here)
Currently updating on ao3:
The Family Next Door (yes, I swear to you all I am still working on this despite all evidence to the contrary)
WIPs:
Julian gets shot- House MD style
Julian assassin- ft protective garak
Sweet Home Alabama (jezri/garashir)
Garak's short story
Cosmic horror
Forever in a Private Library
Bob's Burgers Garashir Fic
Dr. April Will See You Now
ua;iwsjfo'd wow I really didn't realize how many half-finished fics I had laying around, but please feel free to ask me about any and all of them!
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in my humble onion…… as heinous as the “julian was in love with jadzia all along” plot was in season six, it’s also very easy to explain away using actual canonical facts.
like….. some facts we learn about julian pretty early on are that a) he is pretty bad at picking up on people’s attitudes toward him / social cues in general, and b) in a rlly fucky manner , he views romantic relationships as this kind of … ‘success and failure’ situation
but the good part is that he realizes this second part is not how the world works and heretofore resists seeing his relationship with jadzia this way! we see this play out in distant voices, where the manifestation of his doubts is like 'you never Made It with jadzia you loser you fucking failure’ and julian responds with 'yo dude that’s fucked! what matters is she’s my friend!’
and in season 3 thru mid-season 6, we see this play out: julian and jadzia are great friends!! and the crush thing becomes a fun joke between them.
the first time we see julian indicate in ANY WAY that he’s still attracted to jadzia , HE doesn’t come up with it - quark does. now canonically speaking this is a massive act of projection on quark’s part, but (ALSO canonically speaking) it meshes perfectly with the kinds of destructive thoughts julian works through in distant voices
the issue of course is that even if you’ve worked through a thought pattern like that and accepted it as untrue , hearing someone voice it verbatim to you of their own accord can hit you HARD under the right circumstances. and julian has, at this point, experienced prison camp and combat situations and nearly gotten kicked out of starfleet. like, there’s a WAR going on. the man is miserable already.
so…. looking at just the text, it’s very easy for julian to take quark’s words to heart in a way he wouldn’t have , like, toward the end of season 4. and a few episodes after that jadzia fucking DIES. and after that all bets are off! it’s open season on julian bashir’s happiness from here til literally the end of the show and beyond. we basically never get to see him move past this or move toward the healthy relationship he had with dax in approx season 3 thru mid-season 6. which is tbh….. really fucking sad
#hi my name is katia and my hobbies include reconciling my hyperspecific bashir opinions with the heinous contents of the show#just katia things#trek talk#🤔#the heinous jezri turbolift#rest now my friend#just went thru my whole meta tag to find andtag this
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absolutely screaming at the fact that you referred to section 31 as section 28 in the tags of that post about a ds9 feature length film, literally in the middle of a tag about jezri. i'm dying here
asdfghjgf when was this??? never noticed, but shows where MY focus is clearly
#i mean my respect for them is roughly the same#that is: no respect#at all times my hindbrain is thinking about how much the UK sucks
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Got Tagged!
Yesterday, I got tagged by @supernaturalfreewill to do this. She's one of my favourite fanfic writers. If you haven't done so already, check her out. I especially like Mess Is Mine and In Our Time, two of her series. I'm so happy you're back again. Thanks for tagging me in something like this. It doesn't happen to me often.
Rules: Tag 10 blogs you'd like to get to know better.
Nickname: I don't really have one. I was sometimes 'Hol' or 'Hols' in primary school but that died out.
Zodiac: Leo and excited because my sign is next. This year is super important.
Height: 5'2 or 5'3. Depends on which of my friends I use as a reference.
Last Thing You Googled: Jezry Potomski. I was telling my mum how shocked I was that she didn't recognise All About You by McFly. She asked me if I'd ever heard of him (something about his amazing hair), I didn't. Don't try to one-up your mothers, people. They will only leave you in the dirt.
Favourite Music Artist: Ed Sheeran. Although, I have been listening to McFly, Sam Smith and Panic! At The Disco a lot in the past week.
Song Stuck In My Head: Tom Fletcher's wedding speech.
Last Movie: Pride. One of my favourite films that I own. Certainly my favourite LGBT film. Except, I don't think I've watched another LGBT film.
What Are You Wearing Right Now: Green top and pink 3/4 trousers, no socks. Glasses.
Why Did You Choose Your URL: Because I'm half Polish and there isn't a Polish equivalent to Holly, I'm called Hollenka when I visit my mum's side of the family. My mum sometimes calls me it at home.
Do You Have Any Other Blogs: Yes, it's a Supernatural writing blog but I haven't posted anything in ages.
What Did Your Last Relationship Teach You: Well, I haven't been in a relationship. Although, I have learnt that you don't start Sixth Form and magically find your first boyfriend or girlfriend by the end of the Autumn term. That was a bit of wishful thinking on the part of my 15 year old self. And chill when you meet someone new who you find attractive. Just be friendly and hope for the best.
Religious or Spiritual: I'm Catholic so religious.
Favourite Colour: Orange.
Average Hours Of Sleep: 7.
Lucky Number: I don't really have one. But when I was a little girl, it was 99 in case we had to count from our favourite number to 100, therefore meaning I had to only go up one number. I stopped when I considered having to count from my favourite number to 0, aka going through the most numbers. If that doesn't sum me up, I don't know what will. By the way, I was never asked to do anything like that counting task. God knows where I got it from.
Favourite Characters: Charlie Bradbury, Castiel, the Weasley twins, Remus Lupin, Rick Sanchez, Morty Smith, Snowball/Snuffles, Stiles Stilinski, Henry DeTamble, Magnus Chase, Jack the Sword, Percy Jackson, Heathstone. These are just the ones I have at the top of my head. There are tons more.
How Many Blankets Do You Sleep With: None, just the duvet, in summer and 1 during winter.
Dream Job: Author. Most likely Sci-Fi or Fantasy books. But I have to get a degree first. The University of Winchester caught my eye for the name but I honestly think one of their English courses might suit me.
Tags: @assbuttsimagining, @carry-on-my-wayward-imagines, @withthedemonblood, @sketchydean, @linneart, @consulting-cannibal, @ask-tinycas (actually for @Jennilah but it glitches for some reason if I try to tag you), @kaz2y5-imagines and @juicifeur.
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Here's a story with drugs in it. Lots of drugs.
Title: The Chemistry Between Us (AO3)
Fandom: Deep Space Nine
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax
Wordcount: 3193
Additional Tags: Recreational Drug Use, Illegal Activities, Drug Dealing, Het, PTSD, Angst, Genetic Engineering, a touch of one-sided quark/ezri, Drugs, quite a lot of drugs actually, Mental Health Issues, Post-Dominion War (Star Trek), Implied/Referenced Sex, implied miles/julian for like one line
Summary: The first time they experiment with illegal pharmaceuticals together it’s in the form of a small pink pill that promises an hour or two of euphoria and the effects of a mild aphrodisiac.
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look don't judge me but the ds9 "fix-it" i was always tempted to write was the "make jezri less shit" one where i fill in the blanks of all the time they didn't spend together on telly before they were suddenly dreaming of being in love with each other. but i won't do that, because it's a lot of effort for a cause i am not even that attached to.
that said, i have written 250 words of julian and ezri playing darts together now and if i finish this i do plan to inflict it on the internet because why the heck not?
(look they are *very* pretty don't mock me for my shit fanfic preferences okay)
#ds9#okay sex#(that's my jezri tag sorry)#like i said before i feel weird writing them not being fucked up#darts is only mildly fucked up isn't it?#i still need to decide if they're using the actual rules#or the ds9 rules#obviously this is essential to the plot one way or the other#also i need to stop them flirting with quark#i fear i am slowly moving towards writing julian/ezri/quark and nobody wants that#at least jiles is cred i should write jiles instead really#asking myself if i have accidentally made myself ship jezri unironically#i don't think i have but oh god it's possible
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Here, have some Jezri Murder-Porn, as a treat <3 I'm not sure if any of this counts as Joran/Julian but it's about the closest I've got thus far so I'm gonna mention it here in any case.
Title: Paved With Good Intentions (AO3)
Fandom: Deep Space Nine
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax, Ezri Dax & Joran Dax
Wordcount: 1817
Additional Tags: Section 31 (Star Trek), Murder, Murder Kink, fully paid-up member of the joran dax fanclub here, Sex, Guns, Dark, Post-Canon, oh everyone no, canon-typical ugly clothing, Het, staring into the abyss and the abyss stares back and etc, Trills (Star Trek), maybe a smidge of joran/julian idk
Summary: Ezri aims the gun and then without fear of hesitation she lets Joran pull the trigger.
#ds9 fic#okay sex#(that's my jezri tag)#featuring joran dax because he's everyone's problematic fave#so anyway here's murderwall#i bet italian jezri person would be so into this#or okay maybe not but they COULD be#i love ezri passionately#jadzia is only here under duress#section 31#(but no sloan becos he's already dead :( because julian murdered him on the telly already)#yeah whatever i just decided to post it now#my fic
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I realise there is no "market" for this, but it took effort to write so I'm posting it anyway, hecking yeah you can't stop me.
Title: 501 For Beginners (AO3)
Fandom: Deep Space Nine
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax
Wordcount: 1314
Additional Tags: Darts, Pre-Relationship, Fantasizing, heteroerotic bonding, doing the writers job for them
Summary: It's just a friendly game of darts.
#ds9 fic#okay sex#(that's my jezri tag sorry)#this one isn't even fucked up i am so confused#m-rated fic about people playing darts#and it's not even Strip Darts#only dogs can judge me okay???#my fic
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when i get tired of the garashir i do indeed block the tag(s) for a few days until i get tired of missing most of whatever fandom is going on about and then i unblock it and it feels almost fresh and exciting to me.
also okay some/lots of the ship-related meta does read as somewhat WTF to me, but that's kind of a given for any fandom i guess. "omg, they were in the same shot and they looked at each other and that PROVES they are endgame destined to marry perfect for each other <3" stuff is everywhere once a pairing gets popular.
such is the power of shipping-goggles, innit? also there's a couple of people where i just scroll past any time i see their name on a post because i know it's going to be A Take that will annoy me and/or just read like someone projecting wildly onto their current Blorbo(s). it's fine, i don't see how they could possibly know that i do that, i never say anything to them.
that is how i survive in this world i mean fandom. also i know better than to go into the jezri tag, that's just an endless stream of negativity for some reason. (tumblr doesn't tag it's hate unless it does. idk.)
(also I say "for some reason" but i know it's "conflicting with a popular OTP so it has to be toxic not just not-my-jam" i just didn't want to say that in as many words in case anyone... oh shit.)
#about me#this is meant to be navel-gazing ponderings#i am not attackin ur ship honest#sometimes i do enjoy it but i'm more into the darker side#and fandom seems to mostly prefer fluff and otp romance etc#which is fine etc obvs#just not ideal for me personally
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no worf’s right, jezri dishonours jadzia’s memory, i feel bad for jadzia that that had to happen after she spent literally years rejecting that guy
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i think i'm actually a bit scared to write jezri that isn't, like, fucking horrible. but also if i keep writing them being fucked up people are going to start asking questions about me in their heads. (maybe.)
#okay sex#(that's my jezri tag sorry)#i thought of one that involves julian-quark rivalry and exhibitionism#but like... should it?#it exists in my head i might just type it up for something to do#but people might be like 'oh no she did it again???'#i should worry less about being judged#why do i even 'enjoy' this pairing it's a bit shite on telly???#it is just the low-effort nature of canonical pairings?#or the prettiness or what?
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i'd like my niche in this fandom to be "that jiles woman" but i suspect i'm "that jezri woman" instead 😬😶
#it's my own fault but also it shames me#okay sex#(that's my jezri tag sorry)#(and so is that)#ds9#it's me and this one person who only writes in italian so i have no idea what their take on it is#hello my italian comrade i hope you don't hate me#let's become BFFs!!!#(idk if they're even on tumblr)#jiles is just so much more cred and fewer people hate it#and it's more developed in s7 lbr#i hope i used the right emoji face things#i love ezri passionately
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i don't know why i like julian/ezri in fic, but i suppose it's that it's not very well done on the telly and i want to see what people will do with it to fix it and/or break it? i mean they end up basically stuck with each other because everyone else has left and he's lonely and she's confused and there's no way it's going to end well but it's just about possible that it might, and also they're both pretty and that's usually all fandom really needs to make a ship be any good at all.
i know that partly i like to write it because it's a fairly blank slate and nobody can really tell you that you're doing it wrong. you can do pretty much anything you want with them and it'll be fine. and the two people out there who actually ship it are probably desperate for content and won't complain either. so. you know. and both of them angst well, that's always handy.
and it turned out that Dark Jezri is my jam, I like fucking them up somehow. i need to think of more ways to fuck them up. open to suggestions, in case you have any. you can make almost any pairing darker if you put your mind to it. possibly i should worry about what this says about me, but i'm not going to and you can't make me.
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