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haunted-xander · 3 months

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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.

Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.

And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.

And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.

So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.

I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).

And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.

I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.

#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that #like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was #but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it #urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her #it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything #urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation #y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance #too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change #and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK #GOD #urianger augurelt #thancred waters #ryne waters #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne #urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag

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funzige-gedachten · 1 month

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Great news: another joker out themed creation by yours truly (me)

This time its dungarees

#ignore my face babygirls #i didnt know what else to do and i am feeling lightly sick so tomorrow will be a lot #the pattern for the dungarees is from an 1887 sewing manual #im also wearing takkie earrings (takkie is a dashhund in honour of bojans familie doggie whose name i cant remember)#and the shirt is very bojan coded if i say so myself #very proud of this and hwo fucking quick i made this #i started sewing around 14:00 today and finished it around 18:00 #joker out #sewing

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castiellesbian · 9 days

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When Berens was added to the writers room and some of us fans were like "A GAY WRITER? THEY MUST BE MAKING DESTIEL REAL" which was fucked but also. Somehow right.

#i was 14 personally hfjfjdj #or 15... cant remember tbh

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hella1975 · 1 year

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fuck it im gonna reread aftg

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 4 months

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donna "it was never that far from the surface mate" noble not having a worry in the world leaving 14 and yaz alone in the living room at night to finish their movie while she goes to bed entirely unaware of the tragic lesbian romance of the century that those two concluded about an hour before donna re-met the doctor

#rose having pried into the situation and gotten like a hundred 'it's Complicated's from yaz looking at them like..................#donna meanwhile 'that boy is gay and that girl is a lesbian it's just two homos being homos you know'#rose 'i dont think those are the words you want to use mum'#'what is it offensive?'#'well yeah but thats not what i meant'#in the end donna is right of course she neednt worry #in the end rose is ALSO right of course theres gay drama going down 100%#i just think it's interesting that like. youve got all these different interpretations of the doctor right?#theyre like this whole spectrum of things. theyre the light and every colour is a different doctor but they all exist next to each other #simultaneously #and in this specific setup the way that donna is both right and not #and the way that 14 exists and 13 exists and theyre not the same person but also they are #its very holding two things at once #wait does donna know abt yaz bc of the metacrisis thing? i dont really understand the memory sharing #however if she 'cant remember' bc it's like 'looking into a furnace' im just gonna take that at face value bc it fits my purposes better

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kurjakani · 4 months

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Some focal lenght exercises for school. I really need to invest in a more expansive objective one day but TBH my ass is just so interested in getting a macro lens before that bc i would have so much use for that as material resource stuff. But thats like. lightyears away when i have money

#kanipics #i keep changing that tag bc i cant remmeber what it is #but i think ill remember that one #anyways more stuff 2 come to this bc i have 14 days of this course

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jacksoldsideblog · 5 months

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truly nothing more depressing than seeing a blog glorifying self harm in the fight club tag in an unironic way and you click through to see its an anorexic 14 year old :/ i wish i could communicate like... it doesn't make you cool or better, it's not an actual way to control things in your life, i am so so sorry you think this is the sexy answer. but also jesus why do you blog about it

#like damn weve all been 14 yrs old and making health decisions that are actively damning your future health in very concerning ways #but also like #these blogs exist because of each other and if i could nuke every single one i could because that might help even one of these kids #to recover #jesus #makes me feel old #like. ive been there lol. youre depressed and 12 and self harm seems right and also cool #but thats insidious as hell snd listening to that is whats going to make you depressed for half a decade #i think the hardest part of growing up is seeing kids make the same or similar mistakes you did and knowing if you say anything they will #almost certainly double down and dig themselves deeper #but you feel its a crime not to say anything and also remember lack of pushback being part of the problem #but its just. you cant fix anyone #i wasnt anorexic ftr but its Very Relatable unfortunately #anyway whether i like it or not i have a lot of teenagers following me i think #all of you. be nice to yourselves #actively pursue making your life better #not in a momentary happiness sort of way but in a taking the work to get over your mental illness and grow and become a more confident and #secure person kind of way #it sounds impossible and it feels like hell but literally the biggest part is just really trying to do it and letting go of the comfort of #the pains you know vs the unknown pains of change #i should stop soapboxing because this is getting silly long lol

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pjoercy · 8 months

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i am the number one hater of ppl who hate bianca di angelo for joining the hunters and call it selfish

#SHE WAS 13 #(or 14 cant remember)#SHE WASNT SELFISH #SHE DOESNT HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO ACT AS NICOS PARENT #SHE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO BE SAFE AT CAMP #she deserved to live a long life as a hunter #idk why im thinking of biance #but anyway i will fight anyone who calls her selfish #the only bad thing she ever did was pick up the figurine in the trash machine yard thing and even that i will defend #bianca di angelo #nico di angelo #the titans curse #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #mine

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spevvy · 4 months

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Although the fact I finally leapt on the CNCO train almost four weeks to the day after they officially split up is 100% on brand for my rotten luck, I'm very fortunate to have ADHD and so I have spent the last four weeks trying to cram 8 years' worth of fandom into my brain, with a level of success that has impressed even myself.

Things that especially give me extra dopamine about these doofuses:

. We don't have time for all the things I love about that idiot Vélez but I'll come back to him in a moment. In any case, let me tell you, he's such an amazing human being that I'm not 100% sure he's even real.

Stop it this instant please (don't you dare)

. Watching the official videos and still being constantly astounded at Rich's wardrobe. This is split into two levels of incredulity—a) "What the bleedin ell has he got on this time?!", and b) "There wasn't enough budget for a shirt for the poor sod again, eh?" (NB: There is rarely any budget for a shirt for Rich in any video, the poor love. Let Rich Be Warm™, FFS!) Both a) and b) are particularly evident in the Miami video, where the Rich's Shirt budget appeared to have been spent on a granny scarf. For his hair. Obvs. Because of course.

Legit son, what the fuck, did you lose a bet or something, lad?? 👀 It's like when Stewart Granger was in films in the 40s and 50s and he'd wear increasingly bonkers outfits scene after scene but he had absolutely zero confidence issues so he just owned everything like of COURSE he was gonna rock the hell out of it. Oh to have a thimbleful of Richard Camacho's self-confidence!!!!

. Every. Single. Time. I. See. Joel. Pimentel. De. León. The. Only. Thing. I. Can. Think. Is. "CABELLITO AZÚUUUUUULLLLL!!!!😭😭😭"

Never has the loss of a toy blue horse (is he just trying to not say My Little Pony, or???) ever been so heartbreaking to me 💔💔💔 Bless that small sweet boy, I just want to protect him, he takes up that one hidden sliver of maternal instinct I have lurking somewhere!! 🥹🥹🥹😭😭

. Chris' hair during the CNCO album era totally gives trans butch lesbian vibes. No I will not take questions on this. Yes I'm way more into it than I can possibly explain in polite company. Stop it, Christopher, I'm already bi. Totally here for my inadvertently genderfluid monarch.

I just want her to slam me into a wall and call me a good girl I don't know what to tell you.

. Erick Brian Colón is the visual representation of iron fist in velvet glove. He may have the face of a little angel and the biggest greenest most beautiful eyes since the invention of green - but that kid is brutal, folks!!! BRUTAL!!!!!!!!!!!

"Guess who just got MUUURRRDEEERRRRREEEDDD!"

. Two words. Lengua kiss.

Zab, sweetheart, you said it perfectly. You couldn't have improved upon it, thank you for blessing us with your lengua kisses, we are grateful.

. The amount of clever camera trickery and stage choreography involved in showing Chris actually dancing as little as possible. Before any of you come at me over this—I'm not saying Chris can't dance, I'm saying they cut around him and they do it consistently enough that it's hilariously obvious they're doing it. One of my favourite examples is in the Vevo Lite performance of Reggaetón Lento, where they just show his left elbow. Oh honey. (I marked it with a pointy finger to help you out)

I have a few theories about this but it's probably because his hips are so wiggly that if they showed them doing their thing on screen they couldn't have marketed the band to kids and that's a giant drop in revenue before they've even started. Not that I've made a study of his wiggly hips. Honestly.

. I have, however, made a very careful study of that lip-lick-into-lip-bite thing he does, and have come to the conclusion that HE is nsfw. Him. Himself. Alone. With no help. He just oozes it. Holy fudgeballs (probably). He's 100% that one guy who would openly flirt with an empty bag of crisps. "Hola, paquetito vacío de papas fritas, seguro que parece que ha pasado un tiempo desde que tuviste papas fritas dentro de ti..... te apetecería??!?!?" Seriously son, give it a rest, we're all pregnant now.

I swear to god you wouldn't be able to sit down for a fortnight. Fucking bloody hellfire. Is probably how it would be. OOOOFFFFFFFFF......

. I have literally lost count of how many times I've seen 4Ever in the last four weeks. I mean genuinely I cannot remember. I stopped counting at 12. There is no particular reason for this. I can't imagine anything that keeps my attention so solidly.

It's beautiful. I've been looking at this for five hours, now.

. "Que quiénes somos? YOU ALREADY KNOW!" My guys this has been my very problem with artists announcing themselves on their songs for at least the last decade, thank you for addressing the pointlessness of this activity but doing it anyway, I love you for it.

(Can he not? Does he ever take a day off??)

. Bringing back 90s boy band dancing with a level of aplomb I haven't witnessed since approximately 1998. And yes, I do remember. I was 15 in 1998, I was very much the target audience. Anyway, watch Mis Ojos Lloran Por Ti, it's the most authentically 90s thing I've seen since actual 90s boy band music videos.

White shirts AND white vests with black trousers in an abandoned building? ALL THEY NEED IS RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also the rap section of Mis Ojos Lloran Por Ti sounds EXACTLY like the rap section of Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre. It does. Go on, check for yourselves, I'm right about this.

. Tóxica. Just. Omg. Tóxica. It's beautiful. I dunno whose idea it was to do an acapella arrangement, but I hope they always hit the green light in traffic, because wow. What a song. (here it is if you're unfamiliar with CNCO, you've read this far, and you've never heard the song before. Even if you have, it's always worth another listen!)

Honestly it gives me proper goosebumps every single time, it's THE dopamine song for me, it just does all the things to my brain all at once. I was listening to all their songs on shuffle and all of a sudden I heard this one and I just stopped dead in my tracks like "holy SHIT what the hell....this is... this is stunning!" Like THAT was the moment I was like yep that's it folks this is MY band now, these are MY boys, they've got me for life whether they like it or not, I'm theirs, they're mine, that's how fangirls and musicians go, my guys (gender neutral).

. I am obviously not a native Spanish speaker nor am I 100% fluent in speaking, but after 4 weeks I've managed to learn a significant portion of their back catalogue and I am so goshdarned proud of myself. By comparison it's taken me about 5 years to learn most of Morat's back catalogue and I've been in the fandom since just before Balas Perdidas dropped.

Okay fine I have a whole different set of distractions with Morat (goddammit Monchi!!!!), we can't compare them, and it's not a "which band is better" thing at all cos I refuse to choose between any of my boys because they're MY BOYS. It's just nice from a personal viewpoint to feel like my Spanish level is now at a stage where I can pick up new lyrics to songs quite quickly!!! I feel like my Spanish has really improved in the last month and these doofuses are 100% to blame and I adore them for it and so many other things.

Suffice to say, I may be way too late to the party, but I think I get to be at least an honorary CNCOwner at this point. Without the smallest shred of doubt I know that I am retroactively CNCOwned, at any rate.

(ya tú sabes😉)

#Christopher Velez #Chris Velez #zabdiel de jesus #erick brian colon #joel pimentel #richard camacho #cnco #my poor everything #what even was my life befife December 14 2023?#i cant remember #it doesnt matter #nothing matters any more #everything is Christopher Briant Vélez Muñoz and nothing hurts #i love him your honor #he's just perfect #I feel like people might come at me over something here but its all with love folks #we'll see I guess #some of the gifs are mine but meh me da igual

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britneyshakespeare · 7 months

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dallon weekes has a portrait that ages for him in his attic like dorian gray but it also still looks pretty good because he doesn't really do anything wrong

#text post #dallon weekes #stream what love by i dont know how but they found me #seriously ive been a fan of him for a full decade now. man does NOT age #i remember thinking he was old when i was like 14 bc he was in his thirties... boy #42 is still not old but he doesnt look a day older from the first time i saw him #WHAT is his skincare routine #also. yeah ive been listening to his music again (old and new) bc of idkhow's drama being in the news #IM SORRY DALLON THAT YOUVE NEVER HAD A BAND LAST DESPITE DOING NOTHING TO CAUSE THE BREAKUPS LOL #kaily told me ryan seaman was kicked out before reading about it and was like 'oh thats kinda ironic dallon would kick someone outof a band #HE STOLE 26 THOUSAND DOLL HAIRS??????? HOLY FUCK #stream the brobecks stream idkhow and stream all the boys from the nicotine ep by panic! at the disco #oh wait you cant bc br*ndon never put that song on streaming services #despite it being the one of the best twtltrtd era songs... dallon wrote it!#i love dallon weekes he is so handsome and talented

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lily-ohfally · 28 days

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A place so far away, yet it feels so close to home. → Do you remember it too?

FFXIV 'Vanilla' Gpose Challenge: 2. Landscape/Location

Fanow couldn't be further from home, yet the moist smell of the forest grounds mixing with smell of fresh, untainted air, reminded him of the years he lost. The Vii of The First all saw it. The distant gaze, the longing sighs. He had lost a home, but welcomed into a new. Lily kept thinking about how he wanted to, or at least hoped to, bring his sisters and brother here. Yet... could they remember it? Their lives before the attack? Before their lives were changed forever?

#i like to think that the vii on the first always see this longing in lily's eyes when he's there #like he wants something but he knows he cant get it #especially the -met sisters. they would say he looks lonely #if he could. lily would probably bring his siblings to fanow.. the two oldest at least #but the two youngest don't remember shit. for all they know they couldve lived in uldah always #near as well. since she is also old enough to remember #he probably also ends up mentioning he has siblings where he's from and mention vaguely what happened #without ''bothering'' them too much #ourgh... they pack him some local specialties to share with his siblings...#bc they notice how calm and happy he looks when he talks about them #yet this... lingering feeling of guilt he has... it will never go away #shadowbringers spoilers #❖ Gpose #Gpose #Gposers #ffxiv Gpose #ff14 Gpose #final fantasy gpose #ffxiv #ffxiv viera #warrior of light #final fantasy viera #final fantasy 14 #ff14 #viera #male viera #ffxiv gpose #wol #Lily Oh'fally

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daydadahlias · 1 year

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Made in Magnolia

this is my favorite thing ive ever made. and i hope u enjoy it <3 special thank u to Ashley ( @diamondpuddles ) for basically being my co-author

Summary: There’s that feeling again. The warmth and the electricity that travels between them which lacks nerves or pretenses or any semblance of who they have been in the past. Calum isn’t the same guy who usually gets fucked and kicked out when he gets invited to stay the night. Ashton isn’t the same guy who got married at twenty in Mississippi. They’re new when they’re together.

Word Count: 220,470

Pairing: Calum Hood/Ashton Irwin

Rating: E

Content Warning: religious trauma & homophobia

Read on AO3

#so ok #i started this fic in uhhhh i dont remember #sometime last year #and im about 70k into it rn #she's a thickie.#the outline is entirely finished #im finishing this fic. there's not even a remote fear of that #but that being said im not posting it on a schedule #im posting this first chapter as like a little teaser #and then when i finish this chapter im currently working on and the next #i'll start doing my lil weekly posts #but... you guys just cant imagine the pain of sitting on 70k yknow #it's driving me insane #i *have* to post some of it #i just have to or i'll explode #so.#ur getting a bit of it #<3 #bc i have no self restraint #ive just missed writing LONG fics so much and this baby is a THICKIE!!! she's going to be longer than scene 14 <3 #so im just soo #yeah #really happy to be writing it #really happy to be sharing any of it #lapis #eek ok #:)#i mean the poll said post the first chapter and who am i to deny the poll #thank u for indulging me poll takers

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walrusofdoom · 9 months

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Im back i guess

Heyo tumblr, long time no see, i’ve been off the site for a while cause it got banned in my country, and i got really busy after graduating (wooo) so i never felt like doing the vpn stuff, but stuffs been rough and this site has always been super comforting to have.

I think the last time i was active was about a year and a half ago and god things have changed since, got out of university, switched my field 3 times, started working, switched jobs, got completely fucked over by someone i thought i could trust, along with a long series of incredibly unfortunate things have happened this year but life goes on (and my future therapists kids get put through college)

On the positive side, i’m a game developer now fr fr (woo) and am working towards trying to make the dream of being in the gaming industry true, and finally got diagnosed for my horrible adhd issues (only #OG walrusofdoom fans remember), so going to focus on my mental and physical health for a while.

I’m not necessarily sure why im even making this post, i kinda doubt the people remember my blog, but tumblr was always such a constant in my life for so long, that it feels nice to come back, even if it might just be for a bit (or alot of bit!! who knows), so ughhhhhh hi

#my posts #4 paragraphs for the like 3 people who remember who i was and thats HOW IT SHOULD BE BABYYYYY #God i cant wait to see all the ways staff has fucked over this site in the last two years #what a mess of a site but its MY mess #what sucks is that tumblr got unbanned for a bit while i was in the middle of a project but i was excited to be able to use it again once #i got free but then it got banned again at some point which sucks #but honestly where i am right now ill do the inconvenience of the opera vpn #for the culture #Also pro tip #dont work 14-16 hours a day for a full year its not fun #My mind is jello now and i am jello #jello is me

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 4 months

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wait oh my god i forgot yaz had that hologram thing in her. yaz for an entire fucking year beating the doctor back with a broom and then 14 shows up shes like i definitely get to kill you now

#wait omg remembered i already wrote her saying 'you kept me out of my sleep alive and as a ghost you cant keep doing it now too'#perfect #14: i dont think you can blame me for the ghost bit #yaz: I DEFINITELY CAN

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anxsity · 6 months

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the best music isnt good music its music you listened to when u were 14 and imprinted on until you listen to it again and understood it for the first time

#this isnt a lie i wasnt 14 i was. actually i cant remember. but older.#anyway im listening to life as a dog by k.flay again and im taking psychic damage besties #like fuck dude. yeah!!! yeah i get it now!!!#hear me out hear me out. stick season 🤝 life as a dog = living in your childhood hometown with self destructive urges #bad things and dial drunk are same bones different meat #you know what i mean

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swiftcast-selene · 1 month

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Day 27: Comfort

there may be such a thing as too comfortable, after all...

#miqomarch #miqomarch 2024 #ffxiv miqo'te #seeker of the sun #final fantasy 14 #look you cant give him a nice comfy spot and expect him to move from there. thats just silly.#hes always on the go to the point where he will forget that he has like. a body to take care of.#and when he remembers. oh boy does he remember #its a multi day affair to get him started again #side note i want to hang out in bronze lake soo so bad. it looks so cozy there.

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