incorrect quotes with my new fav trio
starring wriothesley, clorinde and neuvillette bc i said so
Wriothesley: What do you think Neuvillette will do for a distraction?
Clorinde: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Clorinde: ... or he could do that.
...
Wriothesley: How's the sexiest person here~?
Neuvillette: I don't know, how are they~?
Wriothesley: I-
Clorinde, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
...
Clorinde: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Wriothesley?
Wriothesley: … No.
Neuvillette: I do!
Clorinde: I know, Neuvillette.
Neuvillette: I’m sad!
Wriothesley: We know, Neuvillette
...
Neuvillette, to Wriothesley and Clorinde: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?!
Wriothesley: ...
Clorinde: ...
Wriothesley: That is such an open-ended question.
Clorinde: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-
...
Wriothesley: We need a diversion. I say Neuvillette gets naked.
Neuvillette: No.
Clorinde: Who are we trying to distract again?
...
Clorinde, at Neuvillette: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Wriothesley, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!
...
Clorinde: Ooh, somebody has a crush
Wriothesley: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Neuvillette I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.
*Later that night*
Wriothesley, very much awake: Uh oh.
...
Neuvillette: There's no way they like me back.
Clorinde: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for you.
Neuvillette: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.
...
Neuvillette: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Clorinde:
Clorinde: I'm gonna tell them.
Wriothesley: Don't you dare.
...
Wriothesley: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?
Clorinde: What’s up your ass this morning!
Neuvillette: *walks in* ...Hey.
Clorinde: Hmm… nevermind.
Wriothesley: WAIT NO!
...
Wriothesley: Do you cook?
Neuvillette: I made a cake once.
Clorinde: Yeah, it was good.
Neuvillette: Really?
Clorinde: Don’t make me lie twice, Neuvillette.
...
Neuvillette: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
Clorinde: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?
Wriothesley: Ya know... it might be.
...
Clorinde: Did Wriothesley just tell me he loved me for the first time?
Neuvillette: Yeah, he did.
Clorinde: And did I just do finger guns back?
Neuvillette: Yeah, you did.
...
Wriothesley: Where are my fucking keys?
Clorinde: Wriothesley, Neuvillette is around, can you say it a little nicer?
Wriothesley: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!
...
*Neuvillette dies in a game with ships*
Wriothesley: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us.
Wriothesley: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury.
Clorinde: Legend has it that Neuvillette still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks.
Neuvillette: Of course I do.
...
Wriothesley: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?
Neuvillette: Excuse me [insert name]. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?
Clorinde: What the fuck is wrong with you two?
...
Clorinde: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Wriothesley!
Neuvillette: So Wriothesley knows about this?
Clorinde, walking away: No, this is between me and me!
...
Neuvillette: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?
Wriothesley: Like its slips on and off really easily.
Neuvillette:
Wriothesley: No, I didn't mean it like that-
Clorinde: We know what you meant.
...
Clorinde: What have you done with Neuvillette?
Wriothesley: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
...
Neuvillette, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Wriothesley: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Wriothesley: Here you go.
Neuvillette:
Wriothesley:
Clorinde: Why am I here?
...
Wriothesley: I’m this close to falling in love with Neuvillette.
Clorinde: Your fingertips are touching.
Wriothesley: Exactly.
...
Neuvillette: Would you take a bullet for me?
Wriothesley: ...yes?
*Clorinde angrily burst into the room*
Neuvillette: *running away* Great, thanks!
guys i love them a healthy amount i swear. NOW DIE ON THIS HILL WITH ME
PART II is now up!
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shax, unimpressed: so…you and that angel-
crowley, sweating: what angel?
shax: the one sitting in your lap
aziraphale, nonchalant: I-I…tripped
shax: …
crowley, smiles innocently: we’re not a couple
aziraphale, shakes his head: no! we just see each other every day
crowley: live together
aziraphale: dine together
crowley, scoffs: can’t stand him, really
aziraphale, nods: not worth my time
crowley: posh bastard
aziraphale: terrible kisser
crowley: …
shax: …
aziraphale, clears his throat: I-I imagine
shax: …
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