#(more like a friendless loser tbh) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bunnieshoneys · 4 months

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HIHIHIHI! I am once again here to dump a gajillion questions on top of you!!!

Okay so first of all, congrats! You've shoved me down the f1blr and f1pinterest pipelines and I can't seem to escape (only reason I haven't gotten on f1twitter is because of a certain billionaire). So yay, I think.

Idk how much you've dove into the F1 lore since you mentioned you got into it around 2021-2022 (I'm still getting fully into it if I'm being completely honest), but would you say the Suks-Kenny rivalry is more Senna-Prost or Schumi-Hakkinen coded?

Has Go/jo's dad won a championship? (Idk if you mentioned this, I'm just too lazy to double check if you did :])

Are there any Suks-Kenny related documentaries (like Rush for Lauda and Hunt)?

Is there a canon reason/hc you have for Go/jo and Miwa having weird hair + eyes?

God God God God GODDDD I love you so much for the way you differentiate Go/jo and Getou's, like, view of other people (or maybe I'm talking more about their characterization - doesn't matter either way imo since this ain't an essay but I digress) – Getou, for all his struggles with and regarding telling people about his problems and opening up to people, almost exclusively refers to people by first name, is always more open and kind soft and sweet, and is 100% that therapist friend who'll always always always just feel so personal and close and stuff. But Go/jo? He's (almost) the Greatest of All Time, he's Six Eyes, he's Untouchable (literally in canon/source material, thanks a lot for making me cry over this beautiful man GEGE (meanie >:'( ), he's probably broken the same records Lewis has (i.e most wins, most podiums, etc), he doesn't even wear and drink the same things everyone else does, to the point where only three people actually know him as Satoru, AND HE ISN'T EVEN ONE OF THOSE THREE PEOPLE!!!! I swear to God, this man is one of the most impersonal, detached, self isolating people I have ever seen, ever, and that says a lot considering the fact that I know who I am!!!!! It's like if Getou's the therapist friend, Go/jo's that friend who's only really there (at least in the first place/in the start) because of his boyfriend the therapist friend (srsly though I cannot get over the fact that had Getou not reached out this idiot child would have just stayed alone and friendless and miserable his entire goddamned life. Jesus he literally embodies that trope oh my GOD. Screw you for doing this to me (affectionate)). He literally only got invited to karting with Yuuji and the gang because of Getou telling him to go talk to him!!!!! He's such a pathetic loser who has nothing and no one outside of his career that I can't even laugh about it because it's hitting way too close to home, which wtf dude, you weren't supposed to do that!!!!!! How dare you!!!!!! Oh my God he's too much like me!!!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN'T EVEN ASK FOR HELP!!!!! EVER!!!!!! KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGH!!!!!!!

TL;DR of that last bullet of me is that I truly truly truly love how you basically characterized Getou as the personal, sweet therapist friend and Go/jo as the #allttoorelatable self isolating idiot who only has his friends because of previously mentioned therapist friend dragging him into the friend group. God.

You just HAAAAD to make Getou's mom be realistic to make everyone suffer, huh??? How does that make you feel, HUH??????

Jesuiofsjfkjdsklfjds I know I mentioned this in an AO3 comment already but the RB Seb vibes are SOOOOO strong in mini Go/jo (and also surprisingly a lot in present day Go/jo, just toned down - he reminds me a lot of Seb tbh but still just mostly RB him, though I might be projecting because of how much I wish I could be him, or look like him or whatever. Time (and a haircut) will have to tell.)

GIVE GO/JO A ROSCOE OR SOMETHING MY BOY DESERVES IT *sobbing emoji*

IS Getou lying about his first kiss going to come up later??? I feel like you're using it as a sort of Chekov's gun and I'm really scared :)))

Is Go/jo going to like, refer to himself as Go/jo out loud or something??? Because first of all, he would 100% talk in third person out loud to troll, and second of all, I'm frothing at the mouth for a reaction from literally everybody about that. Goddddd you might actually be killing me. Lol.

Getou's immense love and care for Go/jo making him cry over the fact that he is endangering himself and his career and literally everything is soooo #relatable lmfao

SOOOOO excited for post race interview snippets oh m yGODD

Would it be fair to compare Toji and Go/jo to Nando and Lewis back in '07?

How influential would you say Yaga is for past and present Go/jo?

Nanami does lowkey give off Bottas vibes - how annoyed/exasperated was he allowed to be with Go/jo on camera, btw?

Did Heian just go straight downhill post-Suks + Kenny retiring?

Is Kenny to make an appearance later?

Be honest - does Getou have a thing for character development or surprisingly sweet/considerate people? I know it's gotta be one of the two considering how down bad he is for Go/jo, just can't identify which :/

Againagainaagainagain, thank you SOOO OO much, this fic absoltuely totally 100% makes my ENTIRE day oh mg it's so freaking good esp with all the theory/lore potential like jeez dude you are KILLING it out here with this!!!

teehee long ask time

HAHAH one of us one of us (fuck lawrence stroll)

senna-prost!

no, he hasnt. gojo's grandad did though

gojo has photophobia. i was thinking about writing him with albinism but the other issues associated with that unfortunately are pretty hard to write around in a top driver. its never gonna be confirmed what the cause of these issues are bc its just a little quirk taken from canon lol

although getou is definitely more vulnerable with his friends than gojo is, i wouldnt call him a therapist friend. hes still just as emotionally inept as gojo, just in a diff way, lol. although thats mostly showcased in 2013/14, and obviously, we're not there yet, lol! BUT EVERYTHING ABT GOJO?? so spot on. hes such an idiot.

gojo was kinda dragged into a lot of friendships by getou, definitely, but its a little complicated bc obviously they consider themselves friends with gojo, but gojo just doesnt let anyone get close like he lets getou get close.

i wanna throw hands at getous mom, but alas

gojo is pretty similar to seb! i think ferrari seb being mellowed like gojo is is also worth noting.

maybe in a sequel

spoilers!

gojo referring to himself by last name is a much more internal thing. I think its part of his development to like,,, grow rather than other people noticing it outright.

getou is so full of love for him and he barely even realises it :(

i lovelovelove writing those so m glad ur enjoying them :)

yeah, it defo would be, but its also different obviously bc gojo was kind of a bit shit in his first season, where hamilton was. insane. in terms of rookie seasons gojo isnt modelled after anyone really, but it would be closest to verstappen's RBR seasons with ricciardo (but if they hated each other, instead of being friends the way they are), and getou's rookie season is modelled on lewis', but the relationship with yuki is insp by leclerc/vettel 2019.

yaga's pretty influential! hes gojos race engineer for a while, then his team principal. he gave gojo the opportunity to leave sengoku and toji, which probably saved his career.

he was allowed to be annoyed, but it was all in a pretty joke-y way. i would say there were less team orders than in hamilton/bottas' time as teammates, since gojo is much further clear as a driver, lol.

yep. in 2003, they lose both of their drivers, and have to pay out for lawyers and suffer a big hit of reputation loss post Sukuna's death. it knocks them off the map for a while

i hadnt planned it

i think getou genuinely thinking gojo has changed is a "this could be different" moment. like, this could work, i could have the thing ive wanted all this time, and now it might be able to be stable. but theres more to it than that, and they havent talked at all lol

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU <3<3

#fic: coanda effct #bunny answers

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honeyymistt · 3 years

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hey angel! today i finally graduated high school. i was the only person who was underdressed which could be embarassing, but bc of my mental health lately i could not bring myself to care. . . there was this boy in my course which i had initially thought had a crush on me, and i feel bad now bc i never made an effort (grades, the way i dress and present myself) and he was there in a nice suit, which is a nice memory i have of him now. but i think he no longer likes me. it´s fine. there were so many pretty girls, and tbh that made me question my sexuality for the millionth time this year :`) i left the school pretty quickly, alone, while everyone else stayed behind, talked and celebrated. my parents are obviously so disappointed in me and i´m sad that i never made any real friends there but i guess as soon as i move away in autmn to go to uni i´ll make new friends? idk why i´m telling you this. . . i hope you´re doing well. your responses earlier meant a lot to me. thank you for being so kind. (my biggest "glow-up" after my friendless-loser-high-school-experience can now only be to study international law, and learn dutch, russian, so that i can one day live in amsterdam, while occasionally travelling to st. petersburg <3) SORRY FOR OVERSHARING SM 🤠(also, i´m hopefully getting a job soon!!) sending love to you ❣️-💌

OMG HI!!!! i'm so glad to hear from you 🥺🥺congratulations on graduating!!! that’s a big milestone and i hope you're proud of yourself. high school is full of ups and downs (arguably more downs than ups 🥴) but you got through it. give yourself a pat on the back <3 and omg, don't even apologize!!! you're not oversharing! if anything, messages like these make my day. so thank you for giving me an update like this. your willingness to share this with me means so much 💖

to offer some perspective: high school is only a portion of your life and the people you went to school with are only a fraction of the people you will meet. so if you didn't meet your best friend in high school, it's okay! everything is gonna be okay! because you're gonna go to university and study a subject that interests you (and by default you will most likely meet people with similar interests) and you will make some amazing friends. i just know it!!! i saw a tumblr post about how in the moment, high school is super important but then once you graduate, you're like "well that was a big joke" and i found it hilarious so i'll reblog it for you if can find it hehe

anyways!! my point here is that you're totally allowed to feel bad about not making more of effort throughout your high school journey but don't let this guilt/regret consume you because at the end of the day, high school is just a portion of your life and you have so much more to experience and so many more people to meet and your life is just beginning!!! if anything, use this guilt and/or regret as a sort of fuel for when you enter university. if you could re-do high school, what would do differently? once you figure out the answers, work hard to make that happen. maybe high school wasn't spent the way you wanted it but it's not too late for university to be as amazing as you want it to be.

i also wouldn't worry too much about that boy. high school crushes/relationships tend to not carry on after high school so i think you'll forget about it and/or move on from it sooner than you think!!! also you mentioned that there were a bunch of pretty girls at the graduation who kinda made you question your sexuality, and that's okay!! do you know how many times i look at a girl and think wow she's sexy! HAHA i always say this to my friends but even though i'm straight, i am always so much more - for lack of better words - impressed by a girl than a boy. you'll catch me saying "wow, she's gorgeous" way more than "oh wow, he's really cute!!" there's no specific time where you have to state your sexuality. don't feel pressured to get out of that questioning state. give yourself time and eventually everything will be crystal clear! and for what it's worth, i bet you were the prettiest one there :)

and oh my god! i am literally SO EXCITED FOR YOUR FUTURE!!! i hope you're excited too!!! you're gonna study international law, and be able to speak russian (which is such a hard language to learn) and dutch AND you're going to live in amsterdam!!! you're ambitious and i love that so much. you have no idea how much that last part of your message inspired me to have big dreams like you. you're gonna go do big things and you're gonna go really far. i am so so so excited for you and your future.

you've got big dreams and you've got a big heart and you've got so much potential. i have no doubt that you will accomplish everything you dream of. and i hope that you believe in yourself and your potential as much as i do. don't forget about me when you're off in the real world doing all the amazing things you were born to do. 🤍🤍

#chat with honeyymistt #this message made my day #💌anon has my heart

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phalae-nopsis · 4 years

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i am exhausted

vent post

everyday i wake up greasy and go thru life greasy feelin paranoid and tired as all hell. literally feels like everyone is watching me all day and i have no idea who thinks i’m a disgusting human and who just doesnt care. i can't trust anyone and i dont even think i want to anymore. there was a point where i wanted to try and befriend everyone to prove them all wrong but now i just cant be bothered. i’m gonna fade into the darkness and escape everyone i’ve ever known (with like 4 exceptions) and just start over. high school is useless and everyone here has nothing but a hivemind and some kind of complex and tbh i cant deal with it anymore. i have one more year of being a reject and a loser and then i get 2 be mad sexy and successful, albeit friendless. its just exhausted because i have no idea what those 3 fucking bitches are going to do at any moment, i make one wrong move and they can take away what i little i have left because for some unknown reason they are just so damn beloved, and i am treated like a little trash rat. theres nothing they have that i dont or cant have, and yet they have a million people around them and no one even makes eye contact with me. i’m just so scared because i know i dont deserve this but i have no idea what theyve told people i have no idea what people think about me because i have no idea what theyve fucking said about me and none of it is true. i dont deserve this and i just want to disappear. whenever i’m alone at school i feel like everyone is staring at me thinking about how pathetic i am and how its what i deserve but i’m not even bothered in those moments! i dont care about not having anyone to sit next to in japanese class because i just want to learn! i dont care about being alone at lunch because it means i can listen to music without seeming rude or just watch youtube! i’m not sad or pathetic but i bet its what everyone thinks, and that is what i cant stand.

goodnight.

dear ex-toads, eat shit and die. try any more shit and you will catch these hands. i will stop at nothing to be better than you. i probably already am. you just make it so that nobody realises.

#vent #ramble #toadhate

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icemountaincomix · 6 years

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OCs from an OC ask meme on twitter

I’ll just shove what I’ve typed under a Readmore

1.) My oldest DOCUMENTED OC was a boy named Liam. Exceedingly shy to the point where people don't notice his existence, he has really huge self esteem issues. However, He has an idol persona named Leonel that he goes total ham with because he is less scared of social repercussions while using his persona because "if things go south, I'll just pretend he never existed." He (as Leonel) is pretty popular and because people don't notice him it makes it really easy to be absent from school He's always been a friendless loser until he becomes friends with a delinquent-looking boy named Zack. Though Zack looks mean he's also quite shy and both of them became great friends but Zack hates pompous pretty boys like Leonel so Liam tries VERY HARD not to let Zack realize that he and Leonel are the same person

2.) This is my newest OC, she doesn't have a name quite yet, but her waitress name is "Scone"! Recently I've been revisiting some OCs from a dream I had 3-4 years ago, which features a cafe with waiters and waitresses you order. Originally I had 3 characters in my dream. Here's the original 3. From top to bottom they're "Croissant", "Darjeeling", and "Earl Grey". They're all the "menu items" you can order and they bring you the food items and just chat with you like a host/hostess bar LMFAO. It's an extremely relaxing place and I've been focusing on Darjeeling's story (I've nicknamed her Dar). Dar is a college student who decided to work at the cafe because she enjoyed her time there and Croissant worked there because he had a crush on one of the waitresses LOL. Earl is... Earl, he's sort of mysterious but he works there as a personal favor to the owner. I've been trying to populate the menu a little more so here's Scone, one of the waitresses in the "baked goods" category with Croissant, and I'm still designing Ceylon. I'm pretty sure at this point that Ceylon (who belongs in the "tea" category, and are themed after Victorian butlers and maids) is the one Croissant has been crushing on but it's so HARD to design characters yo

3.) Favorite OC? TBH I don't play favorites, I neglect all my OCs equally LOL but I mean if I had to absolutely choose I guess Ebi! She's become something of a mascot character for me, and represents my voice in my UTAU voicebank! She's quite cute and quirky. Originally a throwaway sushi gijinka, I made a whole OC world of food gijinkas. Though she wasn't originally the main character she ended up just being the cutest of the bunch so I made her the main character, LOL... My condolences to the Tamago sushi girl who was the original MC. It's sort of a mystery how she ascended to becoming my UTAU mascot, but I think it was mostly because she was just the cutest female OC I had at the time. I'm lucky she's cute as she is, because my UTAU would be even more forgettable than usual if she wasn't there

#Taro's OCs

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winking · 6 years

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a letter to my haters....

This isn't actually for any haters… i dont have any, or at least i hope i dont :) i just wanted to talk tbh...reflect on the year….

Honestly i feel horrible right now, mentally and physically. I just want to cry.. I really didn't think i was gonna end off the year like this. Nothing happened i just suddenly felt really bad…. I messaged my friend like 2 days ago and she still hasn't responded...so im pretty much friendless. I think that's mostly it? I just feel really lonely rn but like it doesn't matter because i'm so used to it and sometimes i just prefer it but still feels bad….my parents just started yelling too god it gets on my nerves...one thing i love about living on my own i avoid them for long amounts of time.

Anyways besides that, I ate so much and i gained weight since i came back home and i know when i go back to school im gonna go back to my stupid diet sad…. That's one thing i wish i can fix in 2018… i hope i can get some confidence. I feel so ugly at all times its wild i just dont wanna exist for that very reason…

Well i definitely grew so much this year, i feel like it my best year that i remember? Ever since 6th grade my life was going downhill… my junior year was the worst ..2016 was a shitty year tbh but this year a lot happened. I lost friends and i made some, i learned to be independent and not to depend on anyone… i stopped being emotional….i personally feel like my depression is gone… i remember in april or something i went like three or four months without feeling sad it was so weird… things make me sad but i get over it easily and im just in a better place overall.

I don't have any regrets… or any that i think of right away? Which is good i guess….i don't see my time on tumblr as a waste of time because even if i didn't use it i wouldnt suddenly be a social person lmao… i'm an introvert that has no social life, if anything tumblr helped me alot. So thank you to everyone who has ever interacted with me on tumblr, it really means a lot….

I just hope 2018 is an even better year, 2017 was more neutral than good…. It was a shitty year for a lot of people and for a lot of reasons but it wasn't horrible for me im thankful.

I want 2018 to treat us all of well.

Tbh i don't even remember the year anymore and i don't want to remember it suddenly…. The only impactful thing that happened was produce 101 and i'm so happy because they made my year 100 times better… the true angels of 2017! They mean so much to me dnewkj like not to be corny but i truly care about every member… like i've been watching them since april? I love you wanna one thank you for bringing me so much happiness?? It was such great timing i thought my world was ending the first months of 2017.. So for them to distract me and later being such a big part of my life… angels… i will support you forever…. Also taeyong the love of life….mwah!

In terms of everything else well…. Im proud of myself. I didn't end up being valedictorian nor did i get any big scholarship and i felt like a failure and i hated my friends because of it .. it was really dumb of me,,, but i go to a good school i live on campus and i didn't fail any class.. That's good enough. I didn't make much friends if anything i lost more friends than i made this year sadly...but thats okay hopefully in 2018 i get to meet my angel friends who will take pictures of me and we can go hang out in the middle of the night, go out to party do dumb shit… make me feel like i'm not a loser.

I hope i get to accomplish my dumb resolutions… like flossing, dressing better, smelling good…. Bigger things like getting straight a’s, getting my license, getting a job, getting in a relationship…...but i really hope 2018 is the year i get to love myself…. I pride myself for being a good friend if only i treated myself the way i treat others! Love you all…… one day i will look in the mirror and i think im pretty….sigh im tired…. This was dum n e wayz… i love taemin and my little brother even tho hes so annoying when he cries….i hope i will be a good sister and aunt and a better person.

I hope everyone has a nice year…. No need to rush we have the entire year….

#dont read this.. or do idc....#n e wayz i wrote this to feel better fkenjw i wanna sleeo now im gonna miss new years

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deliverydefresas · 7 years

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it seems to me, for every time, i’m getting more openhearted

okay here i am catching up with prompts that have been sitting on my waiting list since the beginning of the time. this in particular has been there, half written since before season 2 started lmao

and tbh, at this point i can’t even remember who asked for this so im so so so sorry but i hope you like it still

im trying my best to finish most stuff before lutteo’s ficweek but we’ll see how that goes xD

what even is proofreading am i right

prompt: simón comforting ámbar after being left by her squad (delfi bc of pelfi’s break up and jazmín bc she has a crush on simón but he has one on Ámbar)

“Why the long face?”

She had been distracted watching (and cursing) her two friends three tables away from her; mad at them for being childish and leaving her sitting alone, making her look like a complete friendless loser, that she hadn’t realized when the guitarist had taken the seat beside her.

Simón’s voice surprised her.

Ámbar turned to look at him, but was unsurprised to his always present grin and friendly eyes looking at her, honest concern hiding behind them. She almost groaned out loud.

The least thing she needed was to talk to one of the reasons her friends were acting ridiculously for.

“I was born with it, can’t really do much about it.”

His grin got a little bigger.

“It’s a pretty face,” he agreed, “but I’m sure a smile would make it even prettier.”

She had to contain the grimace from appearing on her face. “Right.”

Simón laughed, “I’m just trying to be nice.” She didn’t know what to respond to this, so she just waited until he said something else. Simón paused for a moment, unsure how to continue and do what he had come for; he then looked past her, and nodded to where Delfina and Jazmín were, before finally asking, “did something happen between you and your friends?”

“Corny and nosy.”

“It’s called being nice.” He tried to defend himself, but it only made her shake her head at him, “you can tell me, you know? I won’t judge or tell it to anybody.”

“Anybody but Luna, I’m guessing.” She snorted, not believing his word. The boy grimaced a little, however, it didn’t stop him from trying again.

“I tell Luna a lot of stuff, but I can keep secrets, Ámbar.”

She eyed him carefully. After being her skating partner for three months, she knew he was a nice guy. He worked hard, and would fight anyone to defend what he thought was right, even her. They’ve had their own little disagreements over steps and lifts, but the moment they stepped out of the rink it’d be as if her little dabs were never told, and go to his usual friendly and nice self. He was like his best friend in many ways, always choosing to be nice over a grudge. She guessed that’s why they got along so well, because they were basically the same person split in two bodies.

“I doubt it,” he was about to protest, but she didn’t let him, “and you can stop. We both know you know why they’re acting this way.”

“Pedro may have told me a little, I guess.” He admitted sheepishly.

“Delfi blames me because he keeps turning her apologies down, as if I was to be responsible for his attitude,” she huffed. Simón blinked a couple times, confused.

“Weren’t you the one that told her to change?”

“She was the one who decided to come back and. I never told her to.” Simón could tell his words had offender her, so he placed his left hand on her right, squeezing lightly as an apology, as she continued, “and independently if she changed or not, that’s on them, I can’t do anything to help with that.”

Simón stared at her for a minute, and she looked right back at him. He was clearly looking for something. What, she couldn’t guess, but she could play along until she found out.

“Fair enough,” he finally said, and folded his arms on the table, “what about Jazmín, though? How come she took Delfi’s side when she…” he thought about it for a second, “idolizes you?”

“Don’t remind me.”

As if she would tell him Jazmín was mad because she thought Ámbar liked him. Which, by the way, was ridiculous. First, she couldn’t believe her friend was stupid enough to go after a guy who clearly had no interest in her, and secondly, she couldn’t believe said friend blamed her for said guy’s lack of interest.

“Do you miss them?” he asked softly, when he noticed the frown she now held on her face. She had forgotten he held one of her hands on one of his, so when he started making circles on it with his thumb she was surprised once again.

“Well, they’re my friends.” Simón’s lips twitched when she blinked at their hands, “stupidity and all, I like them.”

“You should really stop calling your friends stupid,” he half joked, half meant it. “Or bringing them down altogether. That’s not what friends are for.”

She sighed, “stop. I know, okay? I’m trying.” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Okay, I believe you.”

Her frown deepened, “you don’t sound convincing, guitarist.”

He ignored the nickname, and leaned in a bit closer to her. His eyes held such sentiment, she felt a bit lightheaded. Stupid beanie boy, with his stupid nice guy attitude.

“It’s just, isn’t it better be the hero of your own story than being the villain in someone else’s?”

“Are you implying I’m evil? Because, rude.”

Simón laughed, taking distance and shaking his head at her comment.

“Not all villains are evil, Ámbar. Some are misunderstood.”

“You’re still saying I’m a villain, and again, rude.” She retorted, deep down offended he thought such a thing of her, but she could understand where he was coming from. After all, she had spent most of the time he’s known her trying to ruin his best friend’s life.

“Here I am, trying to be poetic and you’re killing me.” He mocked offense.

“Believe me, I’m doing you a favor.” She raised her eyebrows, “somebody’s gotta save the world from your sappiness.”

Simón chuckled lowly, his eyes twinkling with amusement as Ámbar rolled her eyes at him, something that happened a lot. Ámbar was sure he was already used to it, since it happened so often both off and on the rink, many times directed at him. He must have seen it so much he was becoming immune, or simply didn’t mind.

“I beg to differ,” he joked, “many people love my sappiness and corny lines.”

“Equally sappy and corny people, I’m sure.” Jazmín came to her mind, and added “or very delusional ones.”

Simón, who hadn’t taken off his eyes of her, noticed the little twitch in her face when she spoke the last sentence, and how her eyes travelled once again to Delfi and Jazmín’s table, and asked, “is Jazmín the delusional ones?” Her back tensed, but didn’t turn back to him. Instead, she continued looking straight at her friends. “I’m going to take your silence as a yes. Is that why you’re fighting? Because you think Jazmín is being delusional with something?”

“I don’t think she is, I know! How would you call being after a guy who clearly has absolute no interest in you? I’m just telling her the truth but of course, I’m just being the mean, bad friend!” Ámbar’s scowl was deep, disgusted at the situation. She just wanted to scream at Jazmín to have some self-respect, but the girl was enamored by the idea of the boy next to her, and would listen to nothing.

“I’m sure Jazmín just wants a little support from you. I mean, what if the guy is interested in her and you just don’t know?” He was trying his best to sound calming, and she was grateful. However, that didn’t stop her from laughing in his face.

“Are you, though?” she turned to look at him in the eyes, his own widened when he realized what she was asking. “Am I lying? Are you actually interested in her?” her words were sharp, daring him to prove she was in the wrong. Gulping, he shook his head.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like her, she’s a nice and funny girl but she’s not- she’s just-” he sighed, “I just can’t see her as more than a friend.”

“She’s set on that you’re soulmates, and thinks I’m telling her to forget about you because I’m crush-” Ámbar stopped herself a second too late, and Simón definitely caught on her slip.

He inclined closer, teasing smile with underlying hope in his eyes, “you’re…?”

“Nothing. Just Jazmín being Jazmín.” She shook her head, and avoided his eyes once again. His smile weakened a bit, but didn’t push the subject, which she was thankful for. The least thing she needed right now is to talk more about inexistent crushes.

“Well, miss Smith, I think you’re a good friend.” Ámbar’s barely audible huff made him take her hand, squeezing a little so she’d look at him. When she did, he continued, “Seriously. You could have encouraged a fantasy and give her false hope, but you chose to be straight forward about reality. Jazmín’s going to thank you one day, especially after I tell her I’m not really interested.”

Ámbar frowned, “she’s not going to be thankful, if anything, she’ll get crushed.” Maybe blame me more, her mind added.

“She’ll have you and Delfi to fall on.” His smile was soft and reassuring.

It only made her doubt more, “aren’t you forgetting they’re pissed with me?”

“Now, not for long. I’m going to talk to Pedro, so he can talk to Delfi and maybe get their business straight. They both have been stubborn for too long.”

She looked at him for a long moment. Her eyes searching for something to indicate he was lying, but she could only see honesty and open concern.

“Why are you doing this? I’m not your friend, you don’t have to help me.”

Beanie boy grinned, amused at her words, “you’ve said so yourself, I’m a nice guy, I like helping people.” He tapped her nose slightly, confusing her and making her frown a bit more.

“You’re a weird guy, Simón Álvarez.” She sighed, erasing her frown; her lips twitched upwards as she went to sip on her drink.

“I believe the words you’re looking for are thank you, Ámbar Smith. But I’ll let it pass this time, because we just became friends.”

“Keep dreaming, you sap.”

Ámbar nearly chokes on her smoothie when he spoke again, even daring to wink at her.

“Oh, I will, except… In my dreams, we’re more than just that.”

#soy luna #simbar #my simbar ff #simón álvarez #ámbar smith #honestly what is this #idk #it's just simón and ámbar talking hooray #im super sleepy so i might nap after this is posted lolz #ily guys thanks for keeping up with me even when i suck #also in need of a title go with the name of the game lol #sl ff #simbar ff

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silvermarmot · 7 years

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So I was kind of backed into a financial corner and had to take a job working for one of my dad's former employers/friends doing the exact same thing I did for dad for 7+ years only on a larger scale. I've worked 1 day and spent it vaguely dissociating the whole time and have gone through various levels of panic since I got home. So I am really thinking this job (even being a temp position- I'm filling in for a woman going on maternity leave) is probably really really bad for me, but it pays $13-$15 an hour which is way more than I made at my last job, and I have too many medical expenses to not be working (though I don't get paid before the 1st so I might lose my insurance anyways and I'm pretty well fucked if that happens). I am feeling so stuck and terrible right now tbh and idk what I'm going to do about any of this and it's so hard to think clearly about it all that I want someone to talk to but mom has lots of other more important things to deal with and my therapist can't see me for at least another week and I'm a friendless loser so those are literally my only people I can talk to. I just feel like I've made such a stupid mistake in my ability to deal with so much dad stuff, and I'm wondering what it even matters since I'm probably losing my insurance anyways because no pay and no money in the bank isn't going to make a $450 premium payment, but then if I lose insurance I will be billed for the last months medical expenses, so I'm screwed no matter what.

#personal #medical #mental illness #ignore me #i just dont know

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omnigon · 7 years

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TFW one of your mutuals has your politics sideblog blocked so you can’t even reblog a post you agreed with

Maybe we shouldn’t be mutuals if you’re gonna be like that

.................though I do have it linked on my blogs page now so hopefully more people will unfollow me and/or block me after realising that I’m not tumblr friendly in the least bit. Maybe it doesn’t matter but I LIKE pushing people away, especially on this site where you can’t be friends with anyone who disagrees with you. Not me, I don’t care. But a lot of the more sensitive/edgy types who engage in incessant collectivist black-and-white thought are going to be hard to be friends with if the fact that I’m not a feminist/commie makes me the outgroup and possibly the enemy.

I don’t think about it like that, but the Host used to. And I used to be an SJW/feminist type myself before I outgrew the need for identity politics and tumblr labels so I KNOW how on-edge these people are. They take tumblr discourse way too seriously. And the problem is, I can’t tell who’s the ubersensitive type and who’s the chill type that I can be friends with who won’t block me and write a callout post on me after realising I’m an anti-SJW. It’s really hard to tell.

Because I really don’t care about tumblr queer discourse and identity politics, and I really hate the staunch collectivism this site promotes in perpetuity. But I want to make friends/ have mutuals. But it’s hard if they disagree with the mere idea of your political leanings and you KNOW that but you DON’T know if they hate you for it, or just think you’re an idiot. I can handle the latter, but the thought that people I interact with or who interact with ME would hate me if I said literally any of my non-approved political views in front of them makes me never, ever want to reach out, and makes me ignore the attention I DO get from mutuals. But I can’t say anything because it’s Forbidden to go against the grain on this site. Like I want to make friends, but I know the feminists here hate me for disagreeing with them. Because on this site, your political leanings and what movements you’re for/against actually override your personality. You just become a stereotype. Feminist, anti-SJW, non binary, mentally ill, queer, etc, are considered by most here to be more critical than the things a person blogs about in terms of interaction compatibility. It’s really annoying because they almost all do this to a degree, but to WHAT degree is important. If they’re going to be mad at me for saying “Hey, maybe it shouldn’t be okay to hate men just for being men.” I can’t trust that person or be friends with them. I can’t trust that they won’t get fed up and stop talking to me because of something I believe in.

It’s just that on this site, all those labels become a part of you, your personality, so everyone lists them like stats on their userpages. Because at the end of the day, that’s all anyone’s paying attention to, not the human behind the other screen. Just whether you’re an “oppressor” or one of the most coveted “oppressed” classes. Even though none of that stuff should matter on a blogging website, where you can’t see anyone’s face anyway. But not everyone does that absolutely, so it’s hard to pick the good ones from the rotten, brainwashed ones. And if someone is willing to cut ties with you when faced only with your political views and nothing else, it’s really telling, and makes me think, okay, if I had my politics stuff out in the open, you wouldn’t even be FOLLOWING my main. Definitely don’t want to be friends with people like that, but its hard not to want to TRY since we’ve been mutuals so long.

I just need to remember that no matter how hard I try, I cannot escape identity politics, and on this website, I am everyone’s enemy by default, because who I am as an individual is less important than the fact that I’m an egalitarian centrist who opposes postmodernism and collectivism (and communism). The struggles I face as a human living on planet Earth are less important to these people than whether or not I might say something that offends them. So, when trying to make friends, I have to pick them VERY carefully, unless they come to me personally like one guy did, but most won’t. TBH I have to be hypersensitive in my own ways; I have to extrapolate a lot about a person based on very limited information, but it is the Internet, and they’re doing the same to me.

I just hate that offline AND online I’m an unlikable fucking loser. On most sites, my queerness makes me nervous about interacting in many ways, but on this site, it’s the places in which I’m most ordinary that are contentious. Maleness, whiteness, and an opposition of the website’s dominiant school of thought means that, stupidly, I can’t fit in well here either. I’m just going to relegate myself to utter friendlessness and unlikability until I can make friends IRL (God forbid), but this website will never let me back in again.

#OP

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