#(jawbone would love them!! hes such a good dad!)
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SIX COLOURS
She hadn't been this organised for years. Honestly, probably not since her own dad had sat down and put a wall calendar in front of her with a red pen and told her to pull herself together. Last night though Fig had cried with her head against Sandra Lynn's shoulder and then fell down the stairs with her foot stuck in a bucket of cement, and this morning she had come downstairs to find Adaine sniffling as Kristin slept with her head in her lap, and she had had more than one meeting with the Thistlesprings or Sklonda about how horrifically busy their kids were. She took the silence from Seacaster manner to mean something equally as troubling with how often Fabian was crushed under a puppy pile of other bad kids in one bed or another.
It didn't take a genius to know that they were tumbling towards burnout.
So she had called off of work, asked Jawbone to email her all the kids' schedules, and then called the school to talk to the rogue teacher about paying better attention to their students because Riz's schedule was insane. After that, she drove to the local art store and picked up the biggest cork board they had and a million different things in sets of six. Six balls of yarn, six journals, six diaries, six wall calendars, six sets of gel pens, and six boxes to fill with snacks at the local hobby shoppe.
It was maybe silly, but she was careful in assigning colours, one for each kid so they could keep their stuff straight. Even if they didn't use the planners and the bags of chips went stale, she could figure out their favourite colours.
She chose a light purple for Gorgug, who was so kind and gentle, but so good at letting his friends in on how deep the recesses of his mind went when he was left alone for too long. Crimson was red for Fabian, who was so confident and uplifting but bled emotion and love and care for his people. Riz got a deep, emerald green because he was so energetic and smart and freely affectionate. Her intelligent, careful Adaine got cornflower blue, a softer, less brash version of the colour that Sandra Lynn hopes was calming. Her loud, thoughtful Kristin got a yellow that reminded her of honey and buttercups because Kristin was a mess of tangles and wanted to be there for everyone who needed her to catch them. Fig got pink because sometimes she caught her little demon picking at the paint on the walls as if it would still be that same blush underneath. Like it had been before they moved to Mordred Manor. As if she could go back to before everything was messy, or at least tidy it up again.
On a whim (or call it mother's intuition), she picked up stickers and tape as well so everyone could decorate theirs if they wanted to, and smiled at the halfling who checked out her cart.
It was late, nearly nine, by the time the last few bad kids trickled in through the doors and her shoulders sank at the lack of lame excuses or too-innocent grins. Instead, Fabian and Gorgug sighted practice, and Riz was covered in honey for some reason. They followed her instructions and sat themselves around the kitchen table like she asked, and she wished whichever deity was currently listening to make this easier for them. Hadn't these kids died for this world enough times?
There were nachos and hot cookies thanks to Lydia — who had squeezed her arm so tight that it hurt when she explained and dragged her right back down to earth — and she had dropped a paper bag in front of each of them, their names scrawled on in sharpie. She didn't know how to do this, how to be the mom who kept everyone's shit together, but she had tried the passive thing and the wedge between her and Fig had been brutal; that wouldn't happen again. It was time to muddle through the hands-on approach.
"I know you're tired," she started and grasped at her mug of coffee like a lifeline, "and I know everything is piling up, but I'm not gonna lose you kids to highschool, so we're gonna deal with it together."
#sandra lynn#ficlet#fantasy high#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high ficlet#the bad kids#fig faeth#gorgug thistlespring#adaine abernant#kristin applebees#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#sharkie writes
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Also posted on ao3.
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Fabian doesn’t know when it started to hurt.
It’s the little things, you know? The stupid things that feel like nothing to everyone else but feels like iron weights to him. Things like Sklonda mussing up Riz’s hair with a grin, the proud look in Sandra Lynn’s eyes when she looks at Fig, the way Gilear worries and worries and worries and the way Jawbone hugs Adaine.
It feels scalding to look at, sometimes. Boiling hot water poured down his throat that he’s forced to swallow down. There’s a deep, roiling shame that reverberates through him in these moments– a feeling that cooks him alive and leaves him thrashing for escape. He can’t stomach it, can’t swallow back the acid and the jealousy and the jagged bitterness that threatens to cut through.
He reigns it in, best as he can– averts his eyes when Ragh and Lydia share a look, focuses hard on his breathing when Gorthalax says “That’s my girl!”
He digs his nails into his palms when the Thistlesprings fuss over Gorgug, tries his damndest not to stare when they pull out bandages for his scrapes after practice. He leaves, mentally, checking out every time because the affection feels like thorns, gnarled and tearing at him if he thinks about it for too long.
(Because he wants it. He wants it so, so bad that the absence feels like it’s eating him alive. Chunks of flesh torn away as his bones flake and crumble, a void where his chest should be.)
(It doesn’t hurt, most days.)
(But other times it’s all he can feel.)
Fabian breaks, sometimes. Only sometimes, not all the time– only when he’s fallen far enough that he thinks he can change anything.
When Fabian breaks, (chest heaving with stuttering breaths, palms clammy and his mind swimming) he calls people. A truly pathetic display he’s glad only he can witness.
Calling his Mama is one thing: Fabian lets it ring, feels the droning ringtone vibrate in the air, the sound measured as he dry heaves in his room. Calls once, then twice, then three times. Over and over until the sound lulls him to sleep or he’s worked up enough that this makes him shatter his phone against a wall.
She always apologizes for missing them, after. There’s always something– another stroke of good luck for Gilear, she was asleep, she was partying, she was sunbathing, she was drunk– always, always something, but when he checks her Crystalgram it says she posted it while he called and that. That.
It breaks him. Chips away at him further, shards shattering into splinters pulverized into dust. It shatters him, eats at him, rends him limb from limb as he screams in his empty manor and wonders why.
He thinks of calling his Papa, sometimes. At his lowest, at his darkest and most wretched. He thinks of broadcasting his misery onto all of Hell for even the slightest chance that he will answer– that Bill Seacaster will race to his voice like a beacon and tell his son that everything will be okay. That there is nothing wrong with him and that he loves him and that he is never, ever alone.
…It’ll never happen, though. Contrary to popular belief, Fabian knows how to be realistic.
(His Papa loves him. He does. Fabian knows he does.)
(Just not that much.)
He tries not to put too much stock into these one-sided calls– tells himself that no parent would drop everything for their kids, would come running if they called, kill the Devil just to return home. No parent would do that, it’s unrealistic and certainly not for someone his age.
He’s the man of the house. He’s the man of the house.
(“I told my dad about you guys,” Riz told them, once, his voice soft yet so happy. “He said he listens, you know, every time I go to his grave and talk. I only really tell him the cool shit, but…”)
(Riz grins, wide and toothy.)
(“He told me to tell him about the mundane, too.”)
It takes a few seconds for Fabian to realize that the wheezing, ragged breaths in the room are coming from him.
The thing is. The thing is.
The thing is that Fabian doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.
Harsh, ragged crying spills past his lips, spikes of pain blooming from his palms. They’re reddened and his nails are bloody but he doesn’t care– Fabian rips off his eyepatch, stares at scarred skin and an empty eye socket and cries.
The noise he makes is broken, almost animalistic as silver hair covers his face, sticking to his skin. He feels like a wound, oozing and raw and searing with pain. He feels broken. He feels like something unworthy of love, the kind that stays hidden in the basement because the rot of him is too ghastly to stomach.
Questions rattle and whirl around in his head– a hurricane of sinking ships and splintering wood, blood pooling in the waters.
Questions like why and why not and why can’t I have that. Questions like is it me, is there something wrong with me, is it something I’ve done wrong. Questions become statements become I would change myself if I could. I would mold myself into what you wanted if I could. Teach me how teach me how teach me how teach me how.
I would if I could and I want to be loved. I want to be loved and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I wish that I did because then I could fix it and I’ll be worthy I’ll be loved and I’ll be wanted.
There are sharks under the water in his mind, sharp teeth and smelling blood as Fabian bleeds, bleeds, and bleeds.
Why don’t you want me? He wants to scream. At the grey, thundering skies, at the endless, unfeeling torrent of rain. He thinks of his Father, battling devils in the fiery realm of Hell. He thinks of his Mother, lounging in the sun and giggly with wine, relaxed and happier while Fabian’s at home. He thinks of them, and he thinks of Sklonda, of Gorthalax, of Sandra Lynn and Gilear and Jawbone and Lydia and all the others that love their children like they’re gifts and not a curse.
He thinks of the way his Mama looks at him and his chest rips wide open as the sharks rip and tear at his flesh. He thinks of how far away her love feels and how he misses his Papa and he’s drowning, drowning, drowning.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fabian wakes up. He looks like a wreck.
He pushes himself to his feet. His palms sting, his throat dry and raspy.
It’s just another bad day, Fabian tells himself, dull-eyed as he drinks mouthfuls of water, wiping at his lip. It’s just another bad day.
Fabian wakes up, just as alone as when he passed out.
…It’s okay. It’s okay.
(That’s the only thing it can be.)
#fabian seacaster#d20 fhjy#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#fabian aramais seacaster#fantasy high fanfic#ryan's writing
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Fantasy High Junior Year Pre-Trailer Predictions for archival purposes
(In order of most likely to least likely)
They retcon Fabian and Aelwyn's whole thing. I love Fabian and think he is at his best when his development is focused on other things.
Official in-universe confirmation of Riz being ace &/or aro.
A nice, happy, normal prom scene in the epilogue.
Trackerbees breakup. It's definitely likely that they're going to have a falling out given the hints we got in Boys Night but I'm rooting for a full breakup. They don't get back together again. Don't get me wrong I love lesbians (I am lesbian!!!) but we all know this is the best course of action.
More Aelwyn please!! Aelwyn hireling maybe (if that's even a thing we're doing this season)? She's pretty powerful and her and Adaine have made up so it'd be nice to see her use her powers for good.
The old librarian at Aguefort dies and Ayda starts working at the school library in her place. I am pretty anti-Ayda-reconciling-with-her-dad-&-associating-with-his-school, so I wouldn't love this turn of events. But I have to admit it'd be a very plausible way of keeping her in Elmville and I'll take any excuse for her to show up more. Also I think she should have a crystal. She would have loved the internet.
Fig, newly an archdevil, becomes a warlock patron with her fans as her followers. Has to grapple with the consequences of fame and idolization. Maybe even Gilear takes her up as a patron and gets one level of warlock so he isn't completely useless. + second puberty allegory where Fig starts developing more archdevilish features like longer horns and a tail.
More information about Ayda's previous lives, as Brennan seems to at least have a vague notion of what they were like. Maybe a flashback scene with the previous Ayda and kid Garthy. Also i wanna know what was up with the relationship with Garthy and Jawbone. Maybe when Jawbone hooked up with Garthy he had met Ayda as a baby or even the previous Ayda? I think that'd be cool.
An "And Now For Something Completely Different"-type segment where the Bad Kids need The Seven Maidens' help for whatever reason so the cast switches to T7 for an episode. I want to see the girls again and I want to see their new personalities/developments reflected in the main canon. But it'd be kind of weird for them to go back to being npcs.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#the bad kids#ayda aguefort#figueroth faeth#fig faeth#really only gonna tag those two because this post is the most focused on them
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FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 3
Had a rough week so far, I am looking forward to this episode ♡
HIIIIII INTREPID HEROES
NAT 20
please bring ayda back this episode (begging) (I know it won't happen. but I'm desperate)
ZELDA AND GORGUG BREAK UP CONFIRMED.....
I am experiencing so much gender envy from literally everyone at the table.
The art team really pulled out all the stops for this season. The dome backdrop is so good
THIRTY INVESTIGATION?!!!??!
"Of course you and Adaine, of course, are... Nerds."
"Not ideal for the bad kids" oh no.
Lone Wolf Bloodrush player. That's oc material fr
"I like getting friends cast on me so I willingly fail" fig becomes more and more relatable every episode
"IT'S 10 AND I GIVE YOU THE HELP ACTION"
LYDIA!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
LYDIA MADE THEM LUNCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
THE EMO SONG 😭😭😭
It just says "Hey Adaine" on the inside 😭😭
Cloaca.....
how many binders do the Thistlesprings have
"Can I Run From You?"
Just Breathe
CHLOE SHORT FOR CLOACA
I love the casual conversation they have
TWO GLASSES OF MILK
"I'll walk you to Bard class" fig probably won't be staying 😭
NEW LUNCH LAD!!!!!
I hope Fig's luck issue gets resolved soon 😭
MAZEY IS SO PRETTY
Grix...??
THE PARROTS.....
omg mazey x fabian?!!?!?!????!?!?!!?!
A SECRET CLOACA WITH A GUN??
Jawbone is so filled with dad lore
Kristen class president is something I need
21 passive investigation is insane
"What are you, like 4 different dogs?"
Passive Aggressive Kristen is so good.
Ghost steaks 🔥
FABIAN FLIRTING
"You're looking at a party boy" oh fabian....
I think Kristen working to be class president will convince her to. Go to school and work on getting better at it
Gilear 😢 I miss my pathetic wet cat of a man
fig writer's block so relatable
Stressed Riz
WANDA CHILDA
HEYYYYYY GIRLIE
I miss Ayda
Porter is kinda.... ♡
Why is everyone so attractive why must I be attracted to all the adults. im supposed to have a type
"I'm going into a worry, yeah"
Fig taking Fabian to the wizard class instead of bard class is so real
TERPSICHORE SKULLCLEAVER!!!!!! she looks like she bakes incredible cookies. I can't dance but I want to be in her class
THIRTY-ONE????????? PERFORMANCE
Dance bard class is so cool
From Jock to Arsty kid, I love Fabian's character development so much
"I'm going to do a lot less partying" a full lie from Fabian
I need more Riz and Jawbone one on ones
KRISTEN CHILLIS APPLEBEES 😭😭😭😭
oh no the Applebees fam are here oh no...
Ripped Kristen approaching her parents.....
oh no. oh no. oh no.
Not good what is going on with Cassandra
MAKE HER OWN PEOPLE TO TALK TO?!!!??!???!??!?? WHAT???????? WHAT WHAT WHAT????
ALLY IS SO CASUAL WITH NAT 20S 😭
HE'S A LITTLE PALADIN....
BYE GIRLIE
RIZ HAS A BACKUP TIE
why is sorcery so expensive
SHE'S NOT GOING TO TELL JAWBONE 😭
oh god Wanda Childa....
"what smell would be enticing to emo kids" 😭😭😭
"Did you just come from a room full of cigarettes and peach schnapps" "you mean breakfast?"
I wanda'd in
NOT ALL WHO WANDA ARE LOST
SITTING OUTSIDE AND LISTENING TO BARD CLASS
watching Kristen deal with school and stuff and deal with Cassandra makes me slightly uncomfortable. not in a bad way but in a way that I relate to it a bit too much and it's a bit too real. i too had extreme trouble with school and I also have issues with pushing important people away when trying to focus on myself and it ruins a lot of my relations. I relate to Kristen too much in the worst ways and that hits closer to home than I like. I love Kristen but man. Too close
"Things can be bad, and things can be good, but they all can be true."
I worry about Kristen going to Cassandra's realm. I am going into a worry. I have bad feeling.
the sound design is so good
GENTLE SOBBING.... OH NO. OH NO.
"I can't rely on you." OUCH.
she already found somebody????
KALINA!?!?!?! !!??!?!?!!!???!??!!??!!???!!???!?? HUHHHHH?!!??!!
IT'S LEAVING IT OFF WITH THAT?????? WHAT THE FUCK???????? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????????????? WHAT?????
#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high spoilers#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20 fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#adaine o'shaughnessey#adaine abernant
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bulleted headcannons of fh dance studio 🫴
oh my GOSH okay yes!!
aguefort owns the studio. nobody knows how bc he does one (1) type of dance and it's fucking BALLROOM. he somehow keeps the studio running though so nobody stops him
ayda works the main office mostly. she danced at a studio that did the yearly nutcracker and then got tired of it and wanted to learn some other versions.
(she does a lot of contemporary now, especially to hip-hop music. it's cool as hell.)
kristen does modern and takes ballet. she tries so hard and she is so strong but she is. absolute shit at anything harder than a piqué. she likes modern bc cass lets her work in her ribbon dancer. she's also Really Good with choreo and technique!! she can spot the issue in Seconds
she helps out around the studio a lot too!! definitely not to see more of the girl with the pretty side cut who dances in the later hours :)
gorgug does hip hop bc he loves the community aspect of it! and ballet- he does a lot of the background/supporting work.
he's never had a solo. all the bad kids want him to ask for one because he's really fucking good how dare he. he tells them that aguefort doesn't like him.
(arthur doesn't like him. ayda would fight the world for him.)
fig is a jazz+tap girlie but she was Raised on ballet+tap so she's signed up for ballet too! she's been doing tap since she was So Little and it's genuinely just. her favorite thing ever.
she crashes the hip hop classes often. nobody stops her because she has the Energy Ever.
adaine, like fig, was put into ballet as a kid (along with aelwyn)
she met riz and he dragged her to a hip hop class and she simply. has not gone back. added contemporary onto her repertoire and a technique class and pointe. definitely the busiest out of everyone.
riz tried it for like. school. and fucking loved it. he thought it would be good networking, good resume filling, good exercise- and also he loved it. that comes last in the list of importance tho
that guy choreographs and performs the most complex ballet pieces known to man. kristen has tried one during an after-recital party and that video is used as blackmail to this day
he does ballet and jazz. he's tried every class at the studio and settled into those two. he's perfectly fine in his comfort zone thank you!
fabian started as a solely Jazz dancer. his dad died and he underwent a whole buncha self evaluation and then signed up for so many classes- he's taking no joke like 10.
jazz. ballet. tap. technique. modern. contemporary. hip hop. pointe. he's doing it all and having the Time Of His Life.
and now we get into the actual *studio*! whoaa it only took 17 bullet points!
their studio doesn't do a show performance, like the nutcracker, or competitions, but they do work a lot on choreography and do multiple performances throughout the year
you can request to do a solo/double/group piece that's multi-track! ayda Somehow fits it in the schedule. you get a teacher advisor (for the bad kids maybe jawbone?) who gives advice but the dance is mostly choreographed by you
these dances are the highlights of the recitals. fig wants to do one but is already doing a solo so she wants to work on a group piece! she and adaine have traumabonded in multiple classes so she asks her first
adaine goes. you're not gonna believe what i'm about to do. and snags riz. fig grabs gorgug. they're the initial four.
they spy fabian after a late-night rehearsal having a mental breakdown through dance and go huh. he was already becoming less stuck up. let's speed up the process.
kristen swings by later, sweeping and restocking toilet paper and shit and offhandedly offers some solutions to things they're struggling with
and lo and behold the bad kids are created! they have No Concept of time ever. but they're gonna choreograph a dance and by god it's going to look good!!
#i could continue on but this post is really long so we're stopping ourselves here.#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhau#fantasy high au#the bad kids#cassandra fh#kristen applebees#gorgug thistlespring#fig faeth#adaine abernant#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#and i'm talking i guess#guys dance means. so much to me. this isn't how my studio works but god it could be how A Studio works#and i think the aguefort academy of dance could do this#anyways trackerbees canon i really want to see tracker teach a class of little luckstones#castles dance au
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Found Family Tournament Round 2 Part 6 Group 28
Propaganda and further images under the cut
(Mod Note: For increased clarity, Ghost House’s name and photo have been altered)
Chimeron: Evan Kelmp, Karen Kieko Tanaka, Whitney Jammer, Sam Black
Bad Kids: Riz "The Ball" Gukgak, Adaine Abernant, Fabian Aramaris Seacaster, Gorgug Thistlespring, Figueroth "Fig" Faeth, Kristen Applebees (& Ragh Barkrock)
Chimeron:
They’re just my little guys I love them so so much :((( sweetest guys ever
Bad Kids:
before i start the pictures below are by isawiitch (https://www.tumblr.com/isawiitch), victor rosas (https://twitter.com/SirVictorThe2nd), and m0nomercy (https://www.tumblr.com/m0nomercy) respectively check them out they're very cool and also that middle guy did the official art for fantasy high its very cool
anyways
all of these dumb teens are just god they complete each other they're the most important people in the world to each other like fabian and gorgug meeting with a punch to the stomach and going on to share a hug in an evil forest and "DO YOU WANT ME TO BITE IT OUT FOR YOU" "the ball, wait" -riz and fabian and kristen's really bad inspiring speech (they're gonna get inspiring real soon) but they are inspiring because they're from the best and sweetest friend in the whole world and gorgug getting razzed a little for thinking random people are his dad and the sheer joy everyone felt for him when he met his real parents and RIZ THE BALL GUKGAK AND FABIAN SEACASTER THE DUO OF ALL TIME and adaine learning to be a normal teen and fig swearing she's not an open person when she pours her heart out to her friends every chance she gets and riz and adaine being the only two non-horny members of the team and bonding over that and being smart but terrible in social interactions together and "its called being gay, when you're here you're family" -kristen applebees, 2019 and fig starting a band with gorgug, one of the more socially awkward members of the party and "what would riz do" "you bite down hard on a piece of glass" and adaine's actual worst fear being what she would become after her friends passed and the KILL YOUR DAD chant and its gorgug keep going and all of them feeling each others' overcoming of fear in the forest of the nightmare king no matter how far apart they are and riz shooting off an incel's fingers for being weird about adaine (there was other stuff going on but you can't convince me that it wasn't at least partially because of that) and the gang not really letting gorgug and kristen forget that one time they died (they got better and were psychologically okay with it after a bit so this was lighthearted jabs and not straight-up reminding them of a big traumatic moment) and "my friends were warmer to me on the first day that we met than you were to me in my whole life" -adaine abernant, 2020
AND that doesn't even include all the crazy stuff with bad kids-adjacent found family members like gilear faeth getting his life back together thanks to these teens and jawbone o'shaughnessy being the dad of all time to the point where he actually adopts adaine at the end of sophomore year and aelwyn abernant holy shit (she's harder to justify here because her main important interactions are with her sister, unlike gilear who is technically fig's stepdad but is a core part of the found family in all directions) aelwyn abernant is trying so desperately hard to be better and ayda aguefort and adaine swapping homemade spells named after each other (adaine kills her dad with hers its a good time) and ragh barkrock getting over his internalized homophobia
SO IN CONCLUSION these guys have changed each other so much and every single combination of them, be it a duo or a trio or whatever has a distinct dynamic thats so so important to me. they're all family to each other, some of them more than even their real families. they are the guys of all time and my blorbos even and are a wicked good found family
Sometimes a family is the kids who all got detention together on the first day of school at adventuring academy.
And sometimes that family is:
A Half-elf-Half-Pirate rich boy who killed toxic masculinity by learning how to dance, and mercy-killed his father by stabbing him with a sword.
"The Greatest Wizard of this Age" (actually a Barbarian who took a level in artificer to boost his cellphone-reception to call and apologize to his satyr girlfriend) Half-Orc drummer who was adopted by Gnomes;
A bisexual Punk-rocker Tiefling who thought she was a wood-elf until her horns came-in & caused her and her adoptive father to discover that her biological father is actually an Archdevil;
The Elven Oracle (later just "The Oracle"/"Everybody's Oracle") who was adopted by the school's Werewolf Guidance Councilor after her evil parents disowned her (she later punched her evil bio-dad to death in a single round of combat, despite being a magic caster);
An aro-ace (un)licensed Private Investigator Goblin who carries a briefcase and ate the face of the dragon that ate his father;
And a lesbian ex-fundie human who met the corn-god her family worships, found out he sucks & left the church and her family, CREATED HER OWN GOD (of Buzzfeed listical symbols, known first as "YES!" then later "YES?"), only to then abandon that god to become the Saint of the long forgotten Goddex/Goddess of Mystery, Night and Magic.
(Optionally, add in the Half-Orc repressed-gay bully they befriended and helped come out)
And sometimes, that found family becomes a literal family, because over the course of the series:
Fig's mom starts dating Adaine's adoptive dad,
Fig's adoptive dad gets engaged to Fabian's mom,
Fig's biological dad starts dating Riz's mom,
Kirsten starts dating the niece of Adaine's adoptive dad/Fig's mom' boyfriend.
(Gorgug is the only one who still isn't related to the others, but he did find his biological parents. And although he still lives with his adoptive parents, he is now in the famous band "Fig and the Cig Figs" along-side his bio-parents, Fig, and Fig's bio-dad)
Currently, Fig, Adaine, Kirsten, Fig's mom, Adaine's adopted dad, Kirsten's GF, Adaine's biological older sister, Adaine's sister's ghost fiancé, Ragh, Ragh's mom, and Fig's Half-Phoenix librarian/pirate GF all live in one giant haunted old Victorian-style Manor.
#tumblr polls#poll#polls#tournament poll#found family#found family tournament 2023#tumblr tournament#tournament#Dimension 20#Misfits and Magic#Chimeron#The Goat House#Evan Kelmp#Karen Kieko Tanaka#Whitney Jammer#Sam Black#Fantasy High#The Bad Kids#Riz “The Ball” Gukgak#Adaine Abernant#Fabian Aramaris Seacaster#Gorgug Thistlespring#Figueroth “Fig” Faeth#Kristen Applebees#Ragh Barkrock
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‼️FHJY EP 3 SPOILERS‼️
all my thoughts of episode three
AS PER MURPH LOOKS SO GOOD
as does lou
Riz literally biking to school with everyone’s files to make sure they can make it through the year !! stop he’s so cute
and then you and Adaine are nerds
actually for the wizards I’m super chill
riz literally finding out what college they could all get into!!!
figs multiclassing appears to be undocumented, how would her bard teacher know that she multiclassed if she never goes to class
me and riz would write three essays each
the lone wolf. his record is not as bad as it should be
‘i cast friends on both of you just to get you in the car’
‘it’s a 10 and i’ll give you the help action’
‘fluffier than mine?’
LYDIA IS MY LOVE, MY FAVOURITE MORHER (except u sklonda)
‘you guys missed this, song of the summer! kids are going nuts’ ‘this emo song starts over the radio’ proceeds to play the hardest song i’ve heard in ages
riz making adaine her own folder for fun that he signed inside ,, i will sob over this little goblin
a dragon with a receding hairline
the thistlespring sex binder stop
gorgug is such an awkward little guy
fabian not knowing how to make food, stop my baby has been abandoned
‘a little hobgoblin with a brass lollipop’
sorcery teacher jace, i would die for you. ur the teacher i would fancy in school
big shoes to follow
figs bad luck continues
‘should we sign up for student government? there’s gotta be a cabinet right?’
mazey is a highland cow stop i love her
stop she’s a dancer, was she at the camp fabian was meant to be at??
‘oh you’re in the buttcrushers?’
she’s worse than kalvaxus
badidas
FABIAN IS OLDER BECAUSE HE WAS ADVENTURING WITH HIS DAD??
‘that would impact you as well’ ‘yeah’
‘i’m going to go to bard class, you’re going to love this, but not as myself’
im going to cast disguise self on myself to look like an emo girly
wanda childa
here girlie
porter is hot shut up
gorgug getting told he can’t do the mcats because he’s a barbarian. basically being told he’s not smart enough to do artificer classes because he’s inherently stronger, angrier and ‘less smart’ stop
im going into a worry
fig taking fabian to a wizard class because she doesn’t know where bard classes are
‘fabian, you said something alarming and it made me curious’
riz’s entire interaction with jawbone
Kristen chillis applebees
KRISTENS BROTHER
the way it’s never really spoken about how kristen, as the oldest, protected her younger brothers from her parents but she’s been gone a long time and she’s now seeing that. behavioural pattern continued to them treating her oldest younger brother the same she was treated
BUD CUBBY STICKING UP FOR KRISTEN BY TELLING HER PARENTS THEYRE AWFUL PEOPLE STOPPP
‘a hard couple months?’ ‘in the dark? where’s your god? he’s the sun god right?’
‘that’s what you think’ ‘bye girlie’
adaine realising she can’t even afford her school supplies now is so sad
‘what smell would be enticing to emo kids? maybe cigarettes and peach schnapps’
i just wanda’d in
they’re investigating all of figs disguises???
figs agent is rubens agent too fuck off
kristen adhd confirmed
also kristen deflecting all of her trauma with humour is so sad
‘maybe i could just have a tiny little religion of weirdos who wanna gamble’
cassandra i love you but kristen is a literal child
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CASSANDRA IS WITH KALINA
#dimension 20#fantasy high#intrepid heroes#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#fig faeth#kristen applebees#adaine abernant#gorgug thistlespring
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I’m thinking about Fig tonight.
I’m thinking about how her legs are probably covered in scars and I’m thinking about how it probably isn’t a secret, and how in middle school the weird demon kid who used to be a cheerleader started cutting herself for attention. I’m thinking about how she was bullied for her horns growing in and how she was shamed into quitting the cheer team and how Gilear, her dad, told her he didn’t want her anymore because she wasn’t his.
I’m thinking about how the first time she did it she probably was doing it for attention because dear god could you imagine walking around with a painfully visibly reminder that you ruined your family but nobody is talking about it? Sandra Lynn wasn’t addressing it and Gilear wasn’t addressing her and she needed to do something to get them to look at her because she was fucking drowning.
She probably walked down the stairs with blood dripping to her knees and Gilear probably did nothing because he was so fucking angry and she wasn’t his kid and he couldn’t bring himself to do anything more than yell at Sandra Lynn that she had to look into it. Sandra Lynn probably didn’t do anything at first either because how could she have fucked up so much that her baby was hurting herself? How could she have failed her so bad? It couldn’t be real. It must’ve been an accident. It doesn’t matter that the cuts on her leg looked like she made them herself, she couldn’t have made them herself. This isn’t real. It’ll all go away soon.
But The way that it looks to Fig, nobody gives a shit about her so now she’s sad, and she’s pissed, and her mom doesn’t even notice that she’s bleeding right in front of her, so she does it again and she goes for her wrists and she makes sure to leave the blade in the pocket of her pants so that her mom can find it in the laundry. She reaches for her dinner with bandaids on her wrists and Sandra Lynn can’t pretend she doesn’t see that so she’s crying and she’s begging Fig to talk to her and she’s saying that she’s so sorry but the damage is already done and Fig feels so alone and she’s made her mom cry again and it's what she wanted but it doesn’t feel good because how could that feel good?
So she actually starts to hide it and her mom doesn’t mention the bracelets on her wrists and it’s getting colder anyway so it makes sense that she’s wearing less fishnets and more ripped jeans. Not the kinds were you can see your legs through the holes but the ones with the jean sewn into the rips. Nevermind the fact that Fig thought those were stupid last year, they’re in style and she’s already dressing so differently now anyway so it’s all okay.
So when fig makes the move to pull the hairnet up over her leg in the cafeteria that day she’s showing off the old scars that fall below the hem of her skirt but everyone is beaten up then. They blend in. It’s a part of the look.
And when Ayda and her finally make it to the stage where she starts to undress her, Fig has to stop to warn her about what she’s going to see because its ugly and she’s ugly and even though Gilear is her dad again and her mom is her mom again she still ruined her family and they aren’t the same for that. Of course Ayda doesn’t care what Fig’s body looks like because why would she, but she starts to notice when Fig is so uncomfortable that she’s scratching at her jeans or she’s pulling at her sleeves and she starts to remind Fig of the ways that she can take care of herself when she feels that way.
Sometimes they fight with each other because why can’t you see that you are fucking amazing and why can’t you see that your mom loves you but Ayda wasn’t there when Fig’s horns grew in. She doesn’t get what it was like. But Fig knows that she’s right anyway and when Ayda reminds her that her mother loves her now and Gilear loves her now, she starts to believe it enough that she actually wants to go talk to that counselor Jawbone set her and her parents up with.
It’s really hard for her to quit because once it becomes a habit, the urge is always there. Ayda never shames her for it but she always, always mentions it when she notices that Fig has relapsed and she tells her that she loves her and she asks her how she can support her even when Fig insists it isn’t a big deal. And truthfully it isn’t because Fig is working on it and falling back is a part of moving forward and even though it’s hard for Ayda to wrap her head around why Fig, beautiful amazing Fig, would want to hurt herself, meltdowns can bring her to the point of self-injury too so she gets it, even if it isn’t one to one, and Fig is getting better and Ayda is learning how to cope too and they're growing up together and they’re healing alongside each other and it’s hard but life is hard and although they’re healing, Fig’s thighs are covered in scars and she is learning to love them.
#dimension 20#dimension 20 fantasy high#fantasy high#fantasy high freshman year#fantasy high sophomore year#fantasy high spoilers#fhsy#d20fhsy#fhsy spoilers#headcannon#headcannons#figeroth faeth#ayda aguefort#gilear faeth#sandra lynn faeth#tw#trigger warning#tw self harm#tw self-harm#tw cutting#tw self injury#tw self-injury#this was super dark sorry#it was just super on my mind
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Liveblog-ish Dimension 20 Fantasy High S1 Ep16 & 17
(time stamp of slightly after what im talking about) my thoughts/questions/reactions. just so its easier for you to read/know what im talking about
ep16(3:20) ajdhsjsj goldendick
(5:45) oh my god gorgug you could kill your innocent classmates!!!
(23:40) nooooo ragh nooooo!
(28:00) girl why did you let them put your best friend in a crystal?!?!?!?
(41:00) i like how the dragon wears a little suit
(44:00) “can you please stop flirting with me” AHDHFKSJSJ FIG
(51:00) omg i was not expecting gorgug and ragh to kiss
(1:94:40) i’m so glad kristen and ragh are just unconscious and not dead
(1:12:27) it would be so unfortunate if riz’s mom only shows up after the battle is completed
(1:14:40) YEAAAAAAAA JAWBONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(1:15:30) asdkfnsksj “do you understand me?” “no” *continues monologuing*
(1:21:20) omg making goldenrod the lunch lad is so mean!!! but i love the idea of promoting gilear to be vice principal <3
(1:25:42) yaaaaay!!!! fig’s dad is freed!!!!
(1:32:20) YEAAAAAAA LES GO JAWBONE!!!!!!!
(1:42:50) haha yea ur tie is burnt >:3
(1:47:40) that is such a wild move, to get “something to beat kalvaxis” from the jacket of useful things. like wow i never would have thought about it
(1:52:00) COME ON FABIAN I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU
(1:56:20) HOLY SHIT LETS GO KRISTEN!!!!!!!!
ep17(2:17) holy fucking shit it’s doreen
(4:30) …what the fuck??? aegfort?!?!?!?
(9:10) …oh my fucking god that was so deep jesus christ and it was in a d&d game
(10:30) yk? thats actually a pretty good god
(13:30) how was this not scripted?!?!?!? jesus christ brennan!!!
(21:22) omg jawbone ily. sklonda too
(48:00) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LETS GO RIZ!!!!!!!! also its so satisfying that riz, who’s dad died when he was young bc of kalvaxis, got to kill kalvaxis. (it also wouldve been great if fabian got the killing blow). also i love that riz and sklonda are eating kalvaxis >:))))))))
(50:50) …im sorry, the last phoenix is aegfort’s lover?!?!?!?
(52:20) OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT!!!! THE COPS ONLY SHOW UP AFTER THE BATTLE IS ALREADY OVER!!!!
(1:07:30) ASSFDHDHXJCDHCG “young lady, i have no idea who that is… and im telling you right now? yes” AKDVDJVDJDVDJDBFJD
(1:13:45) omg ok so fabian’s mom and gilear? hilarious. omg that is the best choice ever made. and fig’s mom w jawbone? ��😭🧡
(1:15:20) omg i love that adaine is 1. currently living w jawbone and tracker and 2. going to emancipate herself. go her!! :DDDD also i love yhe fact that zayne is now the first ghost student at aguefort. also that she freed the ice cream guy from his curse
(1:18:30) i swear to fucking god fabian!!! aelwyn is horrible!!!!
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BnHA Chapter 302: As the Todoroki Turns
Previously on BnHA:
Today on BnHA: We have a very fun chapter in which (1) Shouto grows up lonely on account of his parents being worried that his siblings will literally try to kill him, (2) Natsu and Fuyu grow up neglected on account of not being special and/or self-destructive enough to attract attention, (3) we get to revisit all of that exciting spousal abuse from chapter 39, and (4) Touya burns to death right on cue, pretty much exactly like we expected it to happen. Thankfully since this is a shounen manga, Horikoshi finds some hope in all this misery as the Todoroki family rallies together, with Shouto getting his long-overdue credit for being a perfect sweet angel who put up with all of this shit for sixteen years and somehow came out of it strong and kind and empathetic and determined. Anyway, so that flashback was a barrel of laughs. But now that it’s over, we can put all of that angst behind us, and move on to... well I guess, probably, more angst. Look, we’re short on variety at the moment. Bear with it.
ouch. we knew this was coming, but still
A+ parenting move there. “ho boy, our eldest just tried to murder our youngest, now what? hmm how about we isolate our youngest from all human contact”
though in their defense, we probably shouldn’t have expected this rabidly strength-obsessed fire man and his wife who was groomed since childhood to obey her family’s whims to have any idea of how to raise stable, well-adjusted offspring
SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS
this is a perfect example of Enji’s tragically self-revolving viewpoint right here. just because being a hero is your entire world doesn’t mean you can just excuse yourself from anything outside of that and act like it’s out of your control. “alas, all I care about is hero stuff and my son can’t be a hero, we are doomed to inhabit two different worlds” no you jackass, it’s called having more than one hobby?? figuring out how to spend some time with your son that doesn’t involve training?? the same exact thing you were telling him to do last week, while ignoring that you’ve never done that yourself in your life??
that said, yet again we have that complexity though because it’s obvious that Enji at least on some level is aware of his own flaws, even though he seems unwilling or unable to confront them. honestly, from what we’ve seen so far, Enji’s obsession with surpassing All Might might be more accurately called an addiction. he literally can’t let go of it even though he’s fully aware of how it’s slowly destroying his life. and so in the same way that a lifelong smoker or alcoholic might tell their child to stay away from cigarettes and booze, Enji tells Touya not to follow down the same path as him, even though he himself doesn’t know how to leave that path. so yes, it’s hypocritical as fuck, but there’s also an element of helplessness there as well because Enji literally doesn’t know how not to be like this
though all the same he sure could stand to put in more than just a token effort. but it is what it is, and we already know how much he’ll come to regret it
and meanwhile Baby Shouto has frozen his sleep bubble with his quirk lmao. so I guess his quirk did come in early. that’s a recipe for chaos right there
once again Shouto is ruining every single dramatic panel in this flashback
this was so dark and intense... and then I spotted the lil bubs in the corner. Horikoshi please control yourself
“some hero you are, running away” and then all of a sudden, “FIVE YEARS LATER” lol what. OKAY THEN
(ETA: love the confirmation that eight-year-old Natsu comes from the Iida school of puberty and is basically a fully grown man, and meanwhile Touya comes from the hobbit school of puberty and has been perpetually eight for the past five years.)
“HEY BIG BRO WANNA COME RECREATE AN ICONIC FLASHBACK SCENE WITH US. WE’VE GOT THE SOCCER BALL RIGHT HERE, BUT HURRY UP OR WE’LL BE TOO LATE FOR SHOUTO TO WALK ON BY AND STOP TO LOOK”
lol and that’s literally the next three panels. but Horikoshi did add this extra bit after Endeavor starts to drag Shouto away
seriously Enji what the hell did you expect was going to happen here. “Touya went nuts and tried to kill his little brother out of jealousy, so let’s make it clearer than ever that Shouto is the important child and all the other children are just rejects. this will definitely not make the problem 100x worse, and will surely lead to Touya giving up and living a happy life, having been emotionally abandoned by the person he admired more than anyone.” good for you pal you figured it all out. no need for that plan b, “we all just go to therapy”
anyway so he’s telling Shouto he can’t play because he needs more endurance training. and meanwhile Touya’s patented Todoroki Drama Genes are going through puberty as well
definitely the face of a happy, emotionally stable child who’s not still plotting to murder his younger brother in his sleep
“WELL ACTUALLY MAKESTE” lol I stand corrected??
apparently during the five year interim Touya actually stopped blaming Shouto and realized Enji was the one at fault. good for him! a bit inconsistent, given what we know happens later, but I assume we’ll get to that in good time
anyway. “yeah man I agree that dad sucks, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m only eight and you’ve been monologuing for the past two hours bro”
LMAO
the manga is making my jokes for me, only better. fine then
looks like someone’s still miffed about that disagreement he had with his baby sister back when she was like four
“Fuyu doesn’t get properly riled up like I want her to so ranting to her is annoying.” okay but having been in Fuyu’s shoes, it really is just a different way of coping, and I can guarantee she’s not as fine with the whole situation as Touya might think. but making your peace with something is often a decision that’s made for emotional self-preservation reasons. and I sure as hell don’t fault her for trying to shut out a situation that she had no control over, and trying to make the best of it, and scrape together as normal a childhood as she could manage
and now in Touya’s defense as well, that is of course easier said than done, and I’m sure if there was a “push this button and instantly get over all of the trauma in your life” switch readily available for Touya then he would have pushed it too. unfortunately it’s not always that simple
so now Rei is pleading with Touya not to go train up on his little emo hill again, but it doesn’t seem like much has changed since he was eight
I don’t think he gives two figs about being a hero; he just wants his father to look at him again with pride. fucking hell, stop doing this to me you damn Todorokis
guh, they keep telling him the same thing over and over again
even if we hadn’t already known he was gonna go melt his jawbone off soon, I wouldn’t have expected a line like that to go over well
yep. fuck
that Todoroki puberty angst, though. nothing else quite like it
“you have a part in this too, Mom” ooooooh man
okay but look, he’s not entirely wrong. like, I’m not saying any of this is Rei’s fault at all! she’s in an impossible situation where she’s afraid to stand up to Enji (who by this point has shown that he’s willing to physically attack her if things get too heated, which is terrifying), and doesn’t really have anywhere to turn for support. her parents aren’t helping much if at all, and Japan in general is just a terrible country to be in when you’re in a domestic abuse situation. everyone’s expected to put on a brave face and deal with their problems all on their own in private. Rei is basically completely isolated at this point, and she doesn’t know what else to do, and so she’s just trying to keep the situation as stable as possible for the kids
but on the other hand, “for the kids” is also where that argument starts to break down a bit, because at this point Shouto is also being physically abused by his father, and the other kids are continuing to be neglected (emotionally if not physically), as they have been for years. so the situation really isn’t stable at all for them. and as a kid, what you end up learning in that type of situation is that you can’t rely on either parent. not the abusive one, certainly, but also not the other one who can’t protect you from any of it. even if they love you and they’re trying, they’re just as helpless as you. Rei is struggling to deal with all of this with one hand tied behind her back, and I get it, and I’m not blaming her at all. but all the same, particularly given that she’s (understandably) putting almost all her focus on Shouto, the end result is that the other kids have basically been left to fend for themselves
so yeah! a shitty situation all around. and one of those cases where it’s not really anyone’s fault (aside from Enji’s), but I can understand the resentment Touya is feeling all the same. and I’m so glad Horikoshi is acknowledging this, because it’s something I probably would have been too uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. as it is it’s still an incredibly heavy subject, and one that I probably have too many personal feelings about
anyway, so once again the whole “we’ll try talking to him and then just shrug our shoulders when it doesn’t work” parenting strategy doesn’t really pan out for the Todoroki fam
sob this boy is Anakin Skywalkering before our very eyes. all that’s missing is AFO to come and start whispering in his ear. any minute now...
“anyway so then he got taller and his fire changed from red to blue”
guess we’re getting pretty close then huh. this is the part of the flashback that I really don’t want to see, but also unfortunately the part that I’m most curious about :/
oh for fuck’s --
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM” sob. back to the drawing board I guess
I thought he got taller, why is he still only like a third of Enji’s height here
oh fuck me these are armor-piercing feels. this is the heavy artillery right here
ENJI I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP AND THINK FOR ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING YOU’LL REGRET FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME. your child just told you that he still thinks beating All Might is the only thing you care about, and that he believes his existence is a mistake unless he finds some way of doing that for you. please stop for a moment to contemplate that and choose your next words with care and grace and oh who the hell am I kidding
-- OR WE COULD JUST BLAME REI
go on and blame everyone but yourself then!! that’s a great solution!! jesus christ man I know this is Endeavor at his literal worst but still this is fucking hard to watch
POOR BABY SHOUTO IS YELLING AT HIS DAD NOT TO HIT HIS MOMMY THIS LITTLE BRAVE BOY NEEDS SO MANY HUGS OH MY GOD
AND MEANWHILE THE OTHERS ARE HUDDLED IN THE NEXT ROOM TRYING NOT TO CRY AH FUCK
(ETA: Fuyu covering Natsu’s ears cuts RIGHT TO THE CORE OF ME. Horikoshi if you’re really not gonna get these kids some therapy then at least consider giving your readers some. what is this.)
you know it’s bad when you’re starting to think the part where the kid burns to death might actually be a less traumatic thing to cut to right now
holy shit, actual Rei thoughts
“I was the one who ultimately made that choice” well there we go, wonder if that’ll put that whole argument to bed at last. I doubt it, but you never know. actually who am I kidding it’s not gonna settle jack shit lol
oh thank god, they decided it was getting too intense and cut away back to the present to narrate this next (final?) part
get ready to cue up that Alicia Keys. THIS BOY IS ON FIREEEEEEE
yeah I think that’s one thing we can mostly all agree on. neither of them had any clue what the fuck they were doing pretty much at any point. though I will say that the hypocrisy of him being all “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM” followed by him IMMEDIATELY DOING THE EXACT SAME THING is a bit rich
(ETA: and he still has this problem, doesn’t he? he froze up when Ending snatched Natsuo, and again when Dabi was attacking Shouto. he’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he ends up not doing anything, which of course is exactly what led to Touya’s death. damn Enji I guess you’ve still got some additional character development to unlock.)
and of course neither of them could possibly have known how badly it was going to turn out. like, the consequences here were WAY disproportionate even for the shittiest of parenting. no one expects “I didn’t know how to talk to my son” to snowball into “my son burned to death and then somehow came back as a villain and murdered thirty people”
ohhhhhhhh fuck me
LITERALLY INCINERATED THE ENTIRE HILLSIDE. fuck. and I am so not ready for the scene of Enji finding the remains of his jawbone afterwards. at least we were spared anything super-graphic (for now at least)
I feel like the timeline here is off, btw?? wasn’t Touya’s death supposed to happen after Rei got hospitalized? this might be the first actual retcon of the entire flashback. although I think it makes more sense this way tbh
I do appreciate that ten years later Enji is finally reflecting on the fact that if he’d just given up his stupid obsession he could have stopped his family from crumbling apart. that probably sounds sarcastic as fuck, but it’s not. there are countless jerks out there who would have still managed to find a way to blame literally everyone and everything under the sun except for themselves. at least he finally figured out how to take responsibility, even if it came too late to stop his son from dying and being radicalized into a villain terrorist organization
and speaking of, it seems to me we’re missing a third and final part to this little tale of woe, and one which only Touya himself will be able to shed any light on. so we’ll see how that goes
oh man seeing the other kids blaming themselves even though none of it was their fault hits hard af. Rei wasn’t kidding when she said they’d been bearing that burden of guilt far longer than Enji
SHOUTO I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE NEXT PANEL IS YOU APOLOGIZING FOR BEING BORN, I WILL... WELL I’LL BE VERY SAD, I GUESS. SO DON’T DO IT
oh good he’s just being quiet. good. it absolutely is not your fault lil bean. it’s not theirs either, but feeling guilty about things that aren’t your fault is a time-honored shounen tradition
goddammit I braced myself for the angsty Shouto panel a page too early. gotta do it all over again now lol. okay here goes
;_;
well well well would you look at that
imagine that. talking things out with your child before they make a rash decision. looks like the Todorokis’ parenting skills are finally leveling up
OH MY GOD
holy shit. this is the most quintessential moment of father/son Todoroki bonding in the entire series. for me it even tops the “nice scar” scene lol. Enji sobbing at the fact that he still has a chance to set things right. and Shouto offering his hand in what is actually the most mature and selfless gesture I’ve ever seen, and being all “we’ll stop him together” to his dad who he hates, but also doesn’t really entirely hate anymore. and all of that is incredibly moving... BUT ALSO HE STILL REFUSES TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND HE WOULD LIKE HIM TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ALREADY IF YOU DON’T MIND. “WHEN YOU’RE DONE CRYING...” fkjldsk
OH MY FUCKING LORD
(ETA: wouldn’t be a Todoroki drama fest if there wasn’t somebody listening in on the whole thing in secret just around the corner lmao.)
“you think we should have waited somewhere else?” “yeah, probably.” “are you feeling a lot of secondhand embarrassment too?” “god, you have no idea.” STFU HAWKS IT’S NOT EMBARASSING TO BE MOVED TO TEARS BY YOUR FAMILY ALL COMING TOGETHER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR TO GIVE YOU HOPE THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T DESERVE BUT ARE NONETHELESS INDESCRIBABLY GRATEFUL FOR
and anyway you chose these guys as your found family, bucko. too late to back out now. next time go get yourself adopted by the Iidas then
AND MEANWHILE NO WORD ON THE WHOLE “HOW DID A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD SURVIVE A FIRE THAT COVERED HIS BODY WITH HORRIFIC SCARS AND MELTED HIS JAW OFF, AND HOW DID HE SOMEHOW THEN MANAGE TO GO INTO HIDING FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS, AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERIM TO CHANGE HIS GOAL FROM ‘SURPASS ALL MIGHT TO IMPRESS MY DAD’ TO ‘KILL ALL HEROES TO MAKE MY DAD SUFFER’.” as if we don’t know the answer to that. but still, would it kill Horikoshi to just confirm AFO’s involvement in all of this already. at this point it’s basically just a formality
so here’s hoping next week we’ll either get that, or more Hawks action, or (DARE I EVEN SUGGEST, I’M AFRAID TO JINX IT) finally cut back to Bakugou and Deku and All Might omg. either way I’m hyped
#bnha 302#todoroki touya#dabi#todoroki enji#endeavor#todoroki rei#todoroki shouto#todoroki natsuo#todoroki fuyumi#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#my sincerest apologies for this absurdly long recap which is barely funny at all!#THERE WAS VERY LITTLE HUMOROUS CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER#congratulations horikoshi you win this round
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The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 2
The Girls Are Fighting!!!
We return to Aguefort Adventuring Academy where the man himself has just told the Seven Maidens that their party is being split up which they are NOT having even though it doesn’t seem to be a malicious plot so much as the fact that Danielle, Ostentatia, and Zelda are Juniors while the other four are graduating Seniors. Antiope casts Hunter’s Mark on Aguefort, Penny pleads, Katja threatens (well, “threatens”; she walks up menacingly and then says that he can’t do this because it’s the only group of friends she’s ever had and it’s heartbreaking like all of her non-hilarious dialogue is).
Aguefort understands that it sucks and has no respect for rules but says it’s out of his hands. Sam clocks that he’s hiding something (along with the fact that he seems to know about something going on with Antiope and Penny which we know is their respective internship/apprenticeship offers) and calls him out, hitting him with a Lightning Lure to drag his ass back when he tries to turn into a bat and escape out the window. She’s unhinged and I love it.
So does Aguefort who decides to let them in on some school secrets, leaving a decoy while he leads them all to the super secret part of the forbidden library which is bondage themed because sure. Also, Ostentatia is topless for this also because sure. He does a lot of pomp and circumstance to summon a book which Yelle flatly says better not just be the syllabus and it isn’t but she’s close. It’s the bylaws of the school district which he has summoned for the guidelines on the special, magical thing the girls can get so they can graduate together…
Their GEDS!!!!! Trés mystical.
Basically what they need to do is complete a level A, B, or C quest together (which Antiope knows are like the top 3 highest difficulty quests--they go from A-F) and get signoff from the superintendent. But the superintendent has been missing for 12 years and there can’t be a new one until she’s dead (which she isn’t or else they’d be able to appoint a new one). Her name is Tectonya Karkovnya (who I will be calling TK) and Aguefort calls her, “chaotic and impossible to predict,” which coming from him is como se dice, troubling.
Sam pulls out her mirror to do a little snooping on TK’s past and sees that she’s a coppery, earth genasi woman. She also sees her talking to Aguefort and saying that the magic of consciousness is far superior to his beloved chronomancy. Then the scene shifts to show her getting more and more worried as she got deeper into her studies and then going to a dwarven holy site in the Mountains of Chaos with some kind of shadow figure following her.
Penny gets photos of the super cursed bylaws and Arthur leaves since he very much is the principal of the school and has to do his job (ostensibly). With Aguefort gone, the girls discuss the proposition after conscripting a very reluctant Antiope to be their leader (Aabria hilariously improvises that a shaft of sunlight somehow comes down to illuminate her and she has to step out of the spotlight).
They discuss whether they want to do this GED quest or not and Zelda says she wants to but she wants to give anyone who has other stuff going on an out so they don’t feel beholden. Ostentatia immediately shoots back that Zelda is just saying that because she has plans with Gorgug. That brings down the mood and Sam, despite being a water genasi, fans the flames by saying that Gorgug has lots going on that doesn’t involve her so she shouldn’t be running back to him all the time.
Yelle tries to calm things down and says they should sleep on it but Sam and Ostentatia are taking this super personally and are offended that they’re even having this conversation. Penny accidentally lets slip that she has some kind of apprenticeship (she’s trying to keep it on the DL because it’s supposed to be a secret) and oh man it becomes a Whole Thing. They fight in the way that you do when everyone in the fight actually wants the same thing and cares deeply about each other but are in completely different headspaces which are making them lash out.
Penny, not wanting to be around the conflict, goes invisible. Zelda is suppressing going into a rage and says that maybe she should go be with Gorgug. At least he won’t yell at her. Yelle once again tries to cool things down and suggests they have a text thread where they can say if they’re in or out by the end of the night instead of hashing it out in the open. She’s accused of not being in and, in response, texts that she’s in. Ostentatia and Sam also immediately text that they’re in, which basically makes her “solution” entirely moot.
Zelda is finally fully fed up and leaves (Penny following invisibly). Katja also follows.
Antiope can tell that Sam is upset about something that’s not this but Sam brushes her off rudely and storms off (quite literally, causing storm clouds outside in her wake). Yelle goes after her. Ostentatia is left with Antiope.
Time for a string of very emotional mini scenes which I highly encourage you to watch because they are peak improv.
Zelda, Katja, (Invisible) Penny
Katja runs to find Zelda who is under a tree crying and asks if she’s OK. Zelda says that Sam and Ostentatia are so beautiful and confident and eloquent and she gets so tongue tied and useless when they disagree with her because she’s so timid. Zelda wants this so bad but she doesn’t want to feel like she’s forcing her friends to stay with her.
Katja, as we know, has major abandonment issues because of her constantly away dad (and prob her mom too) and she doesn’t want to be left behind again but she also doesn’t want her friends to factor her in so she tries to be stoic and says that the people you love have to want to stay. But with a 3, Zelda immediately clocks the emotion behind the words. Instead of calling her out, Zelda offers to listen to music with her.
Penny takes this opportunity to make herself known (which has got to be terrifying--unless you’re used to it and then it’s like same shit as usual from Ms. Luckstone) and Zelda goat jumps to grab her out of the tree she was crying in above them and tells her that she doesn’t have to go invisible every time there’s conflict. They all agree that they hate confrontation and Rehka gets the funniest lowkey line of the episodes: that she wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t agree on that. We then cut to…
Ostentatia and Antiope
Where Izzy gets the high key funniest moment of the episode by transitioning in with a big, “You know I LOVE confrontation,” which breaks everyone at the table. But she says it as a preface to admitting that she may have been a bit of a bitch to Zelda. She plays coy for like a half second before she breaks down sobbing with Antiope catching her before she sinks fully to the floor. Antiope comforts her and admits that while she wants to stay with the party, she hates having options taken away from her as they have been her whole life effectively. She was honestly kind of relieved when she was trapped in the crystal because it meant all that pressure was gone for a bit. They affirm that they love each other then Ostentatia goes to apologize to Zelda.
Danielle and Sam
Yelle goes to talk to Sam (who she adorably calls “merbae”) and while Sam doesn’t wanna talk about it, Yelle says they don’t have to. She just wants to be there for her in whatever capacity she needs. She knows Sam loves her friends and would never hurt them on purpose so something must be wrong with her-- “History of abandonment?” Sam finishes, almost glibly. She’s tired of losing people. She doesn’t want to lose more. She doesn’t want things to change. Nature is change, Yelle says. Nature sucks, Sam says. Yelle is gonna pretend like she didn't hear that.
Sam feels bad that she snapped at Zelda and Yelle says that they’re all a family. Things will be alright. The storm clouds that Sam reflexively summoned peter out into a cool, refreshing mist.
Ostentatia and Zelda
Ostentatia goes to where Zelda and the girls are and full ass runs at her like they weren’t just fighting. After assuring her that she’s not there to fight she apologizes, saying she was a cow. Zelda says she honestly agrees with Ostentatia that she wants the group to stay together and wishes she could be bolder in non-rage settings. Ostentatia says that maybe if the Seniors leave they can still have a party and Penny vetos that even though, as Ostentatia says, it’s a pretty reasonable compromise. Anyway, they basically all go in a circle saying they love each other and it’s very sweet.
I’m serious, I can’t do these heart to hearts justice in this format, just go watch them for that emotional girl group goodness.
Anyway, outside of the main group, Antiope goes to talk to her sister Corsica who is currently teaching a class. Antiope does not give AF. She orders the students out and they scatter. Wouldn’t you?
Antiope wants advice. Should she stay with her party after flaming out of her last one? Should she take the internship and stay on the path her parents want her on? Corsica really feels for her. Antiope has had to struggle in a way that she and their brothers never did. She finally answers that she and her brothers are awesome and successful fighters but none of them have been able to do the scariest thing possible: disappoint their parents. They’re soldiers. They like it that way. They fall in line. But maybe Antiope isn’t a soldier. Maybe she’s a leader. She ordered those kids out of the room without thinking after all and they obeyed. It’s an extremely good speech and Antiope basically has chills, as do I.
I assume while this is happening or perhaps right before everyone goes home, Penny goes to see Jawbone (who has some spiffy new art--as did Gilear who cameoed early in the episode when Aguefort atomic wedgied him invisibly because sure) and talk about this uber difficult decision she had to make. Jawbone gets to the heart of the matter pretty quick. Penny is a high achiever who’s lived a life without choice. But now that she’s about to be off the rails for the time she’s freaking out. Penny sees the truth in the statement (after hilariously trying to solve his metaphor about an amusement park) and thanks him for the perspective. She then, in a very Fig move, tries to kiss him and Jawbone basically stiff arms her and breezes right past like it didn’t happen, showing her out. What a trooper that Jawbone.
Moving on to Katja. When she gets home she tries to call her dad who is unreachable on his hell mission. She leaves him a message saying that he should call her back when he can and she knows what she wants for her graduation present now. She wants her party to not break up. This breaks Brennan and me.
She then snoops arounds for info on TK. She sees letters of her dad trying to get her into Hudol. And she sees some stuff from the Ministry of Adventure, asking if he knew where TK was. But she doesn’t get anything else. At least, she doesn’t get anything else that’s helpful. She does however find a picture of her mom which makes her bolt to go talk to Cinnamon who prances for her to make her feel better. She joins in dancing, badly.
EDIT: I initially wrote that Katja’s mom was dead because that’s what I thought she said but @ennn said that in the Adventuring Party, Rekha said that her mom didn’t die, she left. Which is less dramatic in some ways but SO MUCH WORSE for abandonment issues so, yikes girl!
Yelle meanwhile goes home to talk to her unofficial third mom, Holly, who is the awakened tree under which her house is. Picture a Grandmother Willow situation from Pocahantas basically. Yelle talks about the conflict a bit and, as usual, ends up on a tangent about how the world is unfair and she has to speak for the voiceless. Holly is concerned for her (as are her other moms which I may have neglected to mention in the last recap). She asks Yelle if she can tell her something that might be painful. Yelle agrees. Holly says that Yelle is great and wonderful and kind but she spends so much time speaking for other people that she never speaks for herself. Her moms worry that there will come a day when she needs help and will have to ask for it without couching it in terms of the greater good and she won’t be able to.
Yelle really hopes she’s high when the time comes.
At her home, Ostentatia casts Commune With The City to see if TK has been around and she’s not there now but she can tell she has been (though there’s no indication on if that’s recently or not). On a 17 religion check she knows that there is a dwarven holy site in the mountains that matches Sam’s description from the mirror. She’s still avoiding her dad but when she prays for her spells, she asks for her dad to feel like himself again too.
Hey, what time is it? Let me check my watch.
Ah yes, it’s time for Sam to make some rash decisions.
She feels like she should text Zelda but doesn’t. Instead, she goes into Penelope’s room. And she takes out her mirror. And even though she’s expended the charge for today, she tries to make it show her Penelope.
OK, says Brennan. Sure. Hey, can you roll me a quick little Wisdom Save?
5.
Haha, Sam’s in danger.
The mirror heats up as it’s pushed beyond its limits and Sam sees an image of a young Penelope with braces grabbing her hands and grinning and saying that they’ll be best friends. Then, the image shifts and she sees the Penelope of the present in her tattered prom queen dress and glass shard crown. Her eyeless, haunting, demon prom queen form, teeth razor sharp as her words.
“A call without a text,” she says. “Are you out of your mind?”
“You look better than you ever did alive,” Sam spits back.
It is a battle of the bitches right out of the gate. The girls are fighting part two if you will. They snipe at each other for a bit and Brennan has Sam roll insight into herself. On a 19, Sephie says that’s not enough for Sam to get a read on herself (yikes girl) so she doesn’t understand that this fight can only ruin her because while Penelope enjoys causing people pain, Sam doesn’t.
They both get in some very choice barbs but when Penelope tries to entice her into making a devilish pact and disparages her new party, Sam does the mic drop of the century by telling her that her parents are divorcing and hanging up. The entire table LOSES THEIR MIND. It is like a real life representation of one of those Draw The Squad memes. Everyone brandishes their fans in a salute to that truly epic conversation ender.
As the night draws to a close, Brennan asks the girls who haven’t responded to the text chain yet if they respond. Katja texts that she’s in. Zelda texts Antiope and Penny that she’s not going to text whether she’s in or out until they respond because she doesn’t want it to feel like a 5 on 2 dogpile.
Antiope and Penny call then text, then call, then text, then call each other to discuss what they should do and also hype each other up because with all the drama, they didn’t really get to celebrate their opportunities. Penny tries to downplay her thing and insinuates that it wouldn’t be a big loss if she wasn’t in the group anymore and Antiope shuts that down immediately. You’re the last thing so many people see before they die Penny! That’s so cool!
They both decide to text that they’re abstaining from voting for now and go to bed.
The next day, Antiope gets up and sees that her party’s schedule has been cleared for the next two weeks by the school for quest reasons. She tells her dad she wants to talk to Charity Blythe (the woman at the Ministry of Adventure she needs to talk do) and he sets up a no pressure (but actually tons of pressure) meeting with her before turning her 5 mile run into a 12 mile run because she is a Jones and 5 mile runs are for Amateurs.
Ant texts the rest of the Maidens that this meeting is happening so they can maybe get some quest info from Charity and Ostentatia has in the meantime texted (after the 2 abstains) that she will be going for the GED regardless and anyone who wants to join can. Of course, there was never any reason to NOT go for it (besides the danger which they obv don’t care about) and getting it doesn’t mean any doors are closed to them. It’s just that emotions are running so high they can’t fully seem to see that (or at least some members can’t).
Ant doesn’t have the clearance to meet at Charity’s office so they meet at the Museum of Adventuring instead. In it happens to be the skeleton of Kalvaxus who they killed (if you don’t remember, the Bad Kids killed him first and then he was resurrected so the Maidens could also kill him for catharsis reasons). Tensions are still super high as evidenced by Sam’s snide abstention comment to Penny and Ant and then by her TRYING TO LIGHTNING BOLT THE DRAGON SKELETON TO DESTROY IT.
GIRL.
That doesn't happen though because she’s Counterspelled by Charity Blythe who walks in, surprised to see that Antiope brought her whole party. Antiope says they were just leaving but Charity can sense shenanigans when she sees them and says if they’re gonna spy on the conversation they might as well stay for it which they of course do.
She gives Antiope a rundown of the internship: 1 year commitment with a possibility to expand to 2-3 years. Stipend. She’d have to live in Bastion City.
Katja remembers that her dad was talking to the Ministry of Adventure in the letters she found and asks Charity about it. Charity says they were asking him about TK’s whereabouts because he was friends with her. On that, Yelle casts Detect Thoughts with a Stealth roll of 17 (we see on a secret Box of Doom roll that Charity got a 26 to see her cast it). Anyway, she sees that TK took some object with her when she disappeared (which she later sees is a crystal screen with a map seemingly marking quest locations from A-F) and of course the fact that Charity knows this. Yelle shares this info with everyone as Antiope walks off with Charity to talk further. Katja suggests to the group that maybe Ant should take the internship to get more info for their quest. While she’s talking to Charity, Ant feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.
See looks up and sees a figure with blood red lips look at her and disappear.
Yikes! Combat time baybee!
Superlatives
Danielle: Most Likely to Talk Her Way Out of a Hostage Situation
While, like her mothers, I am slightly concerned that Danielle is the type to set fire to herself to make sure others are warm, I also very much love her chill, warm, encouraging vibes. For those of you coming off of MisMag, she is like vibing at the same wavelength as Whitney Jammer but with the intensity turned all the way down. Danielle encouraging Sam honestly gave me like second hand calm. Excellent vibes.
Random Thoughts
If you’re wondering how long it took for it to come up that Aguefort banged a phoenix, the answer is 12 minutes.
The concept of phoenix chlamydia is the definition of thanks, I hate it.
Aguefort saying that TK is a crazy person could literally mean anything tbh. It could mean she is the most batshit person on the planet or it could mean she’s totally normal and just kinda bugs him. Literally no way to tell.
Someone (I think Rekha?) mentioned that the cursed bylaws book is copper and so is TK. Idk if that’s relevant but thought I’d flag it anyway.
We learn in this episode that the friendship bracelets Penny made them last week let them track each other and see each other even if one of the in knocked out (which is what gives it utility outside of what their crystals can already do).
We learn in this episode that Skullcleaver Elementary School is actually named after Katja’s family.
Nothing like the fear you feel when a DM gives you what you wanted even on a failure. And on that note...
Sam, I wish you a very happy Please Go To Therapy. Please girl.
This episode was such an emotional roller coaster. I deeply empathize with the horrible feeling that your friends have stuff going on and you don’t and you’re going to be left behind. It’s so rough to see everyone hurting and lashing out (or in the case of Yelle for instance, trying and failing to diffuse the situation). But it’s so nice to see everyone trying to be there for each other and apologizing and affirming that they love each other (from Antiope saying that she would kill and die for any of them to Danielle defusing the ticking timebomb that is Sam). The players really get the cadence of how teenage girl friendship works and it’s such a treat to watch.
“Did we ruin your life?”
Do you think ep 7 of The Seven is gonna be when everything pops off? As a DM I wouldn’t be able to resist that.
Penny’s response to being told that she can’t take every path is, “You can with chronomancy” which isn’t a bad point.
Rekha is the Zac of The Seven which is to say low key the funniest person on the planet. Her saying she was so scared that she wasn’t gonna be told “I love you” during that scene was so funny. Her comic timing is impeccable.
Katja fainting at the end of the “I love you” session after Penny says she loves her and Cinnamon.
I love the table ambient whisper of, “LCAB” under Antiope’s scene with Corsica.
I really felt for Zelda in this episode. Like, I felt for everyone but especially her, being the quiet one with all this yelling happening. When she was talking about how much she hates to have to fight with Sam/O my heart really broke for her. I’m so glad she got all her hugs in after that.
In this episode Katja, Ostentatia, and Sam roll nat 1s. No nat 20s.
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The Bad Kids but They’re All Paladins Because I Said So
hey what if all the bad kids multiclassed into paladin huh. what if they did that. like. god. i can already imagine all their oaths. like. ahhh!! (read more under the cut it’s so long i’m sorry)
Fabian: Honestly Oath of Glory came to mind first. “My name is Fabian Aramais Seacaster and I am here to be great!” And well! He made friends and is now learning to help and support his teammates into being the greatest crew that’s ever walked in Aguefort’s halls. This is definitely a pre-Leviathan Fabian. Post-Leviathan Fabian is Oath of the Open Seas. “I believe in you, Spring Break!” The need to be known because of surpassing his father is gone. He is finally free to become his own person. There is so much Fabian has suppressed and now his life is open and vast like the ocean. He wants to be known, he wants his friends to be known, to support his friends who have supported him--who have always supported him-- and he will lead the way for the Bad Kids’ names to become legends.
Fig: Oath of the Ancients. It surprised her at first, to be honest. She’s clawed her way to finding herself, the people she loves. For a while she devoted herself to Vengeance. She was angry, at herself, her parents, the world. They wanted a demon? Fine. She’ll become the greatest demon the world had ever seen. She’ll be Daddy’s Little Demon, his right hand, just as soon as she found him. But the more she learns about people, about the world, about herself, she finds herself going back to her Elvish roots. The world is shit, life is hard, but there are some things truly worth living for. She found so much light in the world--through music, through Ayda, through her friends, through Sandra Lynn and Gortholax and Gilear--that she wants to spread it to every corner of Solace. She wants to help other people find their light.
Riz: Oath of the Watchers. Post Sophomore year, for sure. Riz is working not only on the Material Plane but also for the Celestial Plane. He’s here to make sure shit doesn’t get too fucking crazy and (though his father said it softly, like he was afraid Riz would be upset,) make sure that Fig doesn’t start the apocalypse with her new Archdevil status. Riz is hiding in the shadows, diligent and hard-working (too hard, honestly!) to make sure the planes remain balanced. His mom is just grateful that he’s not a warlock (she might have ascended to fight Pok herself if he had started enabling Riz more than he already is). He, on accident (and maybe on purpose) has accidentally abjured Fig to Hell. Riz is never going to be the type to be in the front, like Gorgug or Fabian, but he’s very good at making sure all of his friend’s backs are protected. It’s the least he can do for his friends, who all watch over him, too. Work is love, and no one works harder than Riz Gukgak.
Adaine: Oath of Vengeance. Please imagine Adaine’s Furious Fist plus Divine Smite. Adaine Abernant is a girl on a mission. She’s going to right the wrongs against her and she’s going to do it with magic and her fists, thank you very much! She has spent so long feeling weak, feeling powerless, and she’s not going to take anything from anyone anymore. No one is going to hurt her or her family. Adaine is the Oracle of the people, and there have been many people wronged in the world. She has the strength of her friends, of her sister, of Jawbone (her dad!!!!) at her disposal. And she will right the wrongs the Elves have done against the world one furious fist at a time.
Gorgug: Oath of Devotion. This one was a hard one, and I’m not entirely sure it fits, but. Gorgug loves his friends. Loves his family. There is so much quiet, powerful devotion to his friends that it makes my heart hurt. He has the “dumb paladin” going for him, but Gorgug isn’t stupid. He knows so much! He has been touched by so many people in so many ways, and he let’s their influence shine through his actions. He’s so brave. And so, so kind. He pushes his friends to keep going, inspires them with his own quiet strength. Gorgug might be the one to deal the final blow to an enemy, but he’s also the first to extend his hand to help him up.
Kristen: Oath of Redemption. Another post-Sophomore year. It’s a complicated mess of redeeming Cassandra and her years as the Nightmare King, and her own quest to redeem herself for her previous Helioc actions. It’s learning to express herself and all the parts of her--good and bad. Learning to seek truth, to talk about each issue from every side and find a peaceful middle ground (or reject it entirely, when learning what utter bullshit it is). But taking the time to help others understand what was wrong with their thinking, with their beliefs, kind and open and always, always questioning. Because doubt is perfectly normal! They live in a world full of magic and time fuckery and her vice principle tried to kill her freshman year, so. Doubt is often warranted. But Kristen Applebees will meet all doubt with a warm smile and an open heart, because the road to redemption is never easy, especially in sandals, but the journey is well-worth it.
#hi this is so long#i'm so sorry#it's also a mess and possibly out of character but#paladins man#gotta love 'em#fantasy high#fantasy high sophmore year#fantasy high spoilers#fantasy high sophomore year spoilers#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#adaine abernant#fig faeth#headcanons#paladin au lmfao#dimension 20 fantasy high#dimension20#dimension 20#dimension 20 live#beetle bugs#pls know that i love them so much#this was in my drafts for so long omg#but here it is!#it's kind of a mess but ah well
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hello stranger whom i've never spoken to before!! let me ask you this- who are your favorite FH parents?? and beyond that, what do you think their backstories are like?? thanks for humoring an unfamiliar stranger who you don't know like me <3
OKAY OKAY UH,
obviously, pok is my number one! hes my man! just a guy! he loves his wife, he loves his son, everything he has ever done and will ever do is out of love for them. I would unpack his whole backstory, however that'd take forever!! He's got a single father, 3 siblings (2 older brothers and a younger sister) and would do just about anything for money in college! Horrendous adhd, pansexual. sklonda is also number one but thats a rant ill explore later <33
number two, is also pok gukgak! he is--- ok i lied its gilear. honestly we as a society do not talk about gilear and the bullshit sandralynn put that man through AND THEN WE BLAME HIM??? gilear has literally always been the second pick (despite the fact that he was probably fine as hell in his youth shoutout hot gilear <33) , literally can we talk abt how sandralynn only asked him to fuck AFTER SHE BROKE UP W JAWBONE?? and she was messing around w gorthalax when they were dating presumably!! what the fuck girl!! I can honestly see gilear as a pretty confident young man, with a nice stable government job maybe some more hair and like. he gives me salutatorian energy. i think thatd add even more hurt that like he genuinely has always been close to first, but never fully there. I can see him doing something geeky as hell like chess club back in the day but after the divorce things went downhill,
also, he still loves fig?? even after all that. I think people rlly beat him up for yelling at her but. fig was literally refusing to call him her dad and like. actively treating him like shit. every parent makes mistakes and i think we shouldn't jump to demonizing him for lashing out sometimes when things get hard. should he have called a "fucking demon"? no. had fig just pretended to be his very recently divorced ex wife and try and skip school very first day?? yes. also he calls her "dearest daughter" in s2 a lot and that makes me very happy
sklonda luv her my little girlboss my beloved my most cherished prized woman *heart locket opens w her picture in it* how i love her she treats riz so well she handles him so well she is a trans ally she is an adaine ally she loves her asexual son she loves her late horny husband she loves her 8 foot tall boyfriend and she hates angus aderbant or whatever the fuck that guys name is. no losses, all wins.
ok ok jawbone isnt a parent technically but hes also on here. i love him. hes lived a wild life and i think hes pansexual poly. i love him. maybe had a fling w pok in his youth. good for him. what a boyboss.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#sklonda gukgak#pok gukgak#jawbone o'shaughnessey#jawbone dimension 20#gilear faeth#grammarly told me my text sounded 'admiring'#yeah#love sklonda#long post#angus aderbant is my funniest joke yet
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Danger Days - Chapter twelve: "Heaven knows I'm miserable now"
Word count: 7,5K
Summary: Joey has to go touring again, and Matthew is feeling miserable. Lynz is starting to suspect something is wrong with her husband.
Warnings: Smut, penetrative sex. Cursing.
A/N: Hi! quick question: would you do what Lynz did??
Masterlist
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |
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::: Los Angeles, January 28th, 2011 :::
Matthew looked around and smiled. He was pleased to see the new fireplace he had built for their house. Meanwhile, Joey worked on the kitchen’s, painting a wall. They had spent their whole month together working on their future home. They had made the best out of their time together. They even invited her parents for an entire week and introduced them to Matthew’s family. It was all so official and yet, so fun and warm.
Joey never thought she would like those things. And her mother knew it. That’s why she kept telling her how happy she looked with Matthew.
- "I’ve never seen you shine like this"- Mercedes kissed her temple before getting into a plane back to Seattle. Joey could never forget the smile on her face as her mom hugged Matthew and gave him her blessing. It was like he was part of the family already.
But a new leg of the tour was about to start, and Joey had to go. Matthew hated it. He didn’t want her away with Gerard. And Joey hated it too, but she was so happy she had a great job after all that time, and the fact she was good at it made her feel so secure about her skills, in a way she had never felt before. It was like she was finally becoming the Joey she always wanted to be.
Gerard hadn’t appeared that whole month. He had stayed as far from Joey as possible. That meant he had spent most of his time in New York with his wife. Mikey had been around, though. He was always hanging with Joey when Matthew was at work. The drummer had asked him to look for a date, but other than picking random chicks in bars a few times, Mikey wasn’t ready for everything dating or seeing somebody meant. Even rebound sex had been hard for him.
- "Yami, when do you have to go to the airport?"
- "Around midnight"- the girl answered and turned to her boyfriend, face spotted with paint from her work in the kitchen. He walked over and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.
- "Why don’t you better stay here with me?"- he pouted, and the girl sighed
- "Akumu, we’ve been through this."
- "I know, but I just…"- he sighed, knowing it was a fight he never stood a chance to win- "Fuck, Yami! I just miss you so much when you are not around."
Gubler whispered, and she kissed his neck softly, taking a deep breath to enjoy his smell. They had been working most of the morning in their house, but Joey didn’t mind the sweat on her boyfriend’s body.
- "You know I miss you too when I’m away, but you are gonna be working. You’ve got a tv show and a movie to make, so you really wouldn’t be home with me much if I were here, would you?"- Joey whispered as Matthew moved and rested his forehead on hers.
- "I know…"
- "So? What if, instead of being sad, we make the best of the few hours we have left?"- the girl bit Matthew’s lower lip and raised an eyebrow, smiling seductively.
- "You mean you wanna do what the moms and the dads do when they are alone?"- he whispered with a funny voice, and Joey closed her eyes laughing.
- "Shit! You had to put it in the less sexy way possible, didn’t you?"
- "So you want it sexy?"- his voice lowered, and her heart raced in her chest as he kissed her neck softly.
- "Yes, Akumu, I want it sexy."
- "And dirty?"- he whispered and bit his lips as he looked at her for a second.
- "Yes, and also loving."
- "You are very demanding, did you know that?"- Gubler smiled, rubbing his lips against hers slowly before kissing her.
- "Yes, I know I am, but you love me being demanding"- a smirk appeared on Joey’s face as she moved her lips from his and stared into his light brown eyes
- "I am doomed, you know I love you too much"- the girl kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck- "Too bad we don’t have any place to do it here in this empty house, just for the two of us."
Joey chuckled and kissed Matthew again.
- "I guess we are gonna have to make the best of it…"
- "That’s the spirit"- he hugged her and lifted her, her legs wrapped around his waist as he started walking outside the kitchen, kissing her.
- "Now enlighten me, my sweet fiancée… is there any room in our house we haven’t done it yet?"- Gubler asked with a smirk and Joey thought about it quickly.
- "Oh no! Matthew! There isn’t another room to have sex in! We’ve done it in every single one of them already"- she answered in a fake concerned tone of voice.
- "Oh dammit! That means we are gonna have to start repeating spots then!"- Matthew quickly replied and leaned Joey’s body against the wall behind her back- "And as far as I remember, you came real nice right here the other day."
- "I did indeed, Matthew Gray. Thank you for remembering it so clearly."
The couple kept making out and continued talking until it was useless to keep track of any coherent conversation when all they could do was to groan and moan.
If something melted Joey’s heart was the look in Matthew’s eyes every time they had sex. The moment right before thrusting into her, he would look into her eyes and wait for her permission. No matter what. Even when she was acting submissive, she had to nod and allow him to enter. Joey had teased him more than once, saying he was a vampire in sex, ‘cos he couldn’t come inside her house uninvited. The truth was, Matthew cared for her, even when he was spanking her, or calling her a dirty whore, or having her calling him daddy. He wanted her to enjoy being with him too.
- "Matthew?"- Joey whispered as the two of them laid on an old carpet, and he moved slowly over to climb her naked body. He stared at her in adoration and caressed her face softly.
- "What is it, Yami?"
- "I just… love you so much"- the girl managed to whisper as she stared into his eyes, feeling how the tears were about to reach hers.
- "Baby, baby"- he whispered and kissed her several times on her lips, her eyes, her cheeks- "I love you too, I am here, I am yours, you have my heart."
Matthew reached out and landed a hand on the necklace Joey never took off.
- "And you are carrying my heart with you, always"- the girl nodded and kissed him again.
- "You haven’t been apart for this long, ever"- she sighed and made her best to remain calm.
- "I know"- Matthew whispered and kissed her neck a few times- "But we are gonna be ok."
- "Akumu… we won’t be together in two months"- it was like the realization had just hit Joey nine hours before leaving.
- "I know, Yami"- he whispered and moved closer to her, if possible, and wrapped her in his arms completely.
- "Matthew…"
Joey’s tears began to fall, and he started kissing them away as fast as possible. But it was too hard, ‘cos he had started crying too, and the two of them weeping naked on a carpet was too much to handle.
And so they cried. They both knew they had been acting funny and silly to cover the fact they were miserable ‘cos it was an eternal leg of the tour. It started on January 31st in Osaka and ended on March 20th in Finland. They had a week off and then another month traveling the states. It was hell.
How was Joey going to cope with the distance? How was Matthew going to deal with the fear of leaving his girlfriend with Gerard? Neither of them wanted to think of it now, but it seemed there were no more chances to avoid the thoughts either.
Matthew held her face with both hands, running his thumbs carefully on her cheeks, before leaning over and kiss her. It was soft. It was sweet. It was sad and filled with love at the same time. He didn’t want to cry anymore, not at the moment. He was going to have a long night without her to think and overthink everything.
But at that moment, Matthew just wanted to kiss Joey’s lips, her whole body. He wanted to stop the fucking time that kept driving him insane and just be with her, enjoy the last afternoon they had together, making love on their living room’s floor.
Joey sighed and shivered as she felt her fiancé holding onto her skin, like a shipwrecked holding the last piece of wood left of his boat. She couldn’t say a word. She just wrapped her arms and legs around him and looked into his eyes, nodding before she felt him sliding between her thighs. Both of them gasped, but neither of them was able to say a word. They just stared at each other and sighed. He held her close, as close as humanly possible, while waves of pleasure washed over them.
Her lips traveled from his cheeks to his jawbone, tracing kisses all the way, returning to his lips to run her tongue through them sweetly, tasting him in every inch of skin she touched. She needed to engrave that taste, that smell in her, to carry it with her all the time she was going to be apart from him.
It was the third time they had to say goodbye, and by far, this was the worst.
On the first leg of the tour, Joey was nervous about the job and being apart from Gubler for three weeks. But now, she didn’t worry about the job at all. Matthew was everything she had in her mind. She didn’t want to turn into the woman who stopped being herself to be with a man. But Gubler had managed to change so many things in her, not even planning on it. And now she was having second thoughts about her priorities.
- "I’m about…"- the girl whispered, and her boyfriend nodded.
- "Me too…"- neither of them said another word. They just kissed long enough to cover their groans and whimpers, coming at the same time.
Neither of them moved. Matthew was still trying to catch his breath, and Joey couldn’t stop holding him close. She didn’t want to let him go. Never.
- "When you come back, this is gonna be our home"- he whispered sweetly in her ear, and she nodded- "And we are going to fill it with our memories."
He sweetly ran his fingers through her hair and looked into her eyes. She wasn’t able to answer. It was too much to take at the moment, so she just kissed him over and over again.
- "And I am going to fill you up with babies too"- he murmured in her ear, and she chuckled- "And they are gonna run around this house and wake us up early at Christmas morning. And we’ll come here to this very same room and open presents with them. And I will make you breakfast in that kitchen while you play with them and their new gifts…"
Joey bit her lips as tears rolled down her eyes.
- "Yami, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to."
- "I know… but it’s my job, and I want to work… but I don’t wanna be apart from you…"- he nodded and kissed the tip of the nose.
- "Tell you what, after this tour, we can take a few months off from traveling to spend them with your new husband, who is going to take the same amount of time off to be with you, and only with you"- the girl smiled and kissed him.
- "I can’t wait to marry you, Matthew Gray Gubler. Did you know that?"
Frank was crying. This was the saddest goodbye. It was getting harder for him to be far from home now that he had two baby girls. He was slightly rethinking his whole life. He loved music, he loved playing, he loved performing. But he loved his family most, and being apart from them was making everything too difficult.
Was it even worthy?
- "You could come to see us in London"- Frank said as he walked to his wife after packing his bag- "We are gonna have a week off to recover from the Japan jet lag, please come."
It wasn’t much of a request as it was a pleading. And Jamia could feel it.
- "Are you sure?"
- "I don’t wanna be apart from you for two months, I’m gonna miss the babies growing up"- she wrapped her arms around Frank’s neck and kissed his lips.
- "Of course, we can come, honey"- Jamia looked at him and cut him a warm smile, trying to ease his mind- "I am going to miss you too."
- "Thank you"- he rested his forehead on hers and sighed- "This is too much time apart."
- "I know."
- "I don’t wanna go."
- "Don’t be silly, once you start the tour, you are not going to be so sad. You are gonna have fun with your friends, and you are going to facetime us all the time… we’ll be in London together, that’s like in a week or something, so don’t feel sad, don’t cry, please."- Iero nodded and kissed his wife again.
- "After this tour, I’m gonna take you on the best vacations you’ve ever seen"- he said and smiled.
- "Aren’t you going to be sick and tired of traveling all over?"- she asked, frowning as she let him go and helped him finish packing more t-shirts.
- "Maybe, but I could use some all-inclusive time with my wife"- Jamia’s eyes shone.
- "You can’t take it back now"
- "I know"- he grinned and felt her hands on his cheeks, pulling him into a big kiss.
- "So, start the tour quickly so it finishes earlier and we can pick a beach to lie on for two weeks."
Gerard was in hell as he looked at all the bags by the door. Lynz had decided to go along with him on their trip to Japan, and he couldn’t convince her otherwise. Gerard needed to go back touring and be on her own with Joey. But he wasn’t going to be able to. Instead, he was going to keep his distance from her to avoid any suspicion from his wife.
The truth was, Lynz was already suspicious. She wasn’t blind. And just like Matthew, she could see the way her husband drooled every time he landed eyes on Joey, and she hated it. Deeply.
Lynz noticed the drummer wasn’t aware of that fact, but that didn’t mean she didn’t reciprocate her husband’s feelings. Had anything happened between them on tour? She couldn’t tell. Did Mikey know about this? She could ask him, but what if she ended up making a fool out of herself? She was the cool wife… she had never been jealous before. Never.
- "Are you sure you are not overpacking?"- Gerard yelled from the lobby and heard his wife replying from upstairs.
- "That’s all I need for a two weeks trip"- he closed his eyes and sipped his coffee. Two weeks.
- “Fuck”
- "Aren’t you excited?!"- Lynz walked over with one last bag and smiled at her husband- "You and me together in Tokyo, there’s so much we can do!"- he smiled and felt her arms around him and a peck on his lips.
- "Yeah! It’s fantastic!"- she frowned and looked right into his eyes.
- "Now make it seem like you mean it"
- "What do you mean, baby?"
- "I’ve got the feeling you are not excited about me going with you on tour"
- “Deny! Deny!” Come on, babe! What makes you say so? You are so wrong!"
- "I know you, Gerard. And I know when you lie."
- "No! I am happy you are coming. I am just scared I won’t have so much time to wander around with you, and I don’t want you to get upset with me."
- "No honey, don’t worry"- she smiled and kissed him- "I can always wait for that week off in London, there are so much we can do there too"- he kissed her and looked at the hour.
- "We should get going."
Matthew Gray Gubler was crying as he kissed Joey for the hundredth time. They stood outside the international boarding door, and he sobbed as he wiped off the tears from her cheeks and kissed her over and over again.
Mikey looked from a safe distance while Gerard and his wife had already left, searching for their gate. Only by the look in Gubler’s eyes, Gerard knew the safest thing to do was say hello, goodbye, and hide. He felt how the actor’s glance threw daggers his way the whole time.
- "I love you so much"- Matthew whispered, and she nodded.
- "I swear I love you more."
- "I honestly doubt it"- he rubbed his lips against her and made her smile.
- "I made you cookies last night. I left them in a jar in your kitchen."
- "Marry me"- he quickly replied, and Joey laughed.
- "You already asked me, I said yes… which reminds me, I might need to put the engagement ring with your heart while I play. It hurts my hands playing with rings."
- "That’s cool, as long as you have it with you."
- "Always…"- she looked at him as tears filled her eyes again- "I’m gonna miss your birthday."
- "Yami, I don’t care about my birthday… we are gonna have the rest of our lives to have birthdays together"- but his words didn’t do a thing, ‘cos Joey was now crying like a little kid, making him cry as well.
- "I’m so sorry, Matthew"- she sobbed and sighed- "I should go… my door is gonna open in like half an hour."
- "Go…"- but neither of them moved.
- "I don’t know why I just feel like I’m never gonna see you again."
- "Don’t be silly, you’ll see me in a couple of weeks to prepare our wedding"- those words made Joey smile.
- "I love that idea."
- "See Mrs. Gubler? You are gonna have to see me again, in fact, I’m planning to see each other every day until we are old and grey."
- "Sounds like a nice plan"- Joey kissed him once more and sighed- "I love you, Gubs."
- "Me more."
- "Me most."
- "I packed a few extra Gubler’s shirts in your bag, just to make sure you’ve got enough of me to carry through Europe."
- "Marry me"- she quickly answered, and he chuckled, tears still falling from his eyes.
- "Sorry, I’m already taken"- he smiled and kissed her- "Call me when you land, I don’t care about the hour, just let me know you are safe"- she nodded and wrapped her arms tight around his neck.
- "I will… though I’ll be sixteen hours in the future."
- "That should be fun. Please tell me if humankind has already discovered teleportation in the future, so I can go be with you while I’m on breaks on the set."
- "Deal"- she smiled and sighed- "I’ll FaceTime you so many times you are going to need an extra phone ‘cos yours is going to be battery low forever."
Matthew held Joey’s face with both hands and pulled her into a deep, loving kiss. They just stared when they gasped for breath and smiled.
- "I love you."
- "Me too."
The trip to Osaka was long and awkward. Joey was glad Lynz was coming, ‘cos for once, and after months traveling with the band, she didn’t care about Gerard. The last break made her realize, she wasn’t crushing on him anymore. She was in love with her boyfriend, she was gonna marry him, and the hot guy in tight pants was nothing but a nice view while playing shows.
But Joey felt Gerard’s wife hated her. She wasn’t friendly with her at all, so the drummer decided the best thing to do was to back off and hang on her own most of the trip. Mikey was with her but sleeping pretty much the whole way. The rest of the band had taken a flight from Jersey to Osaka, and they were going to meet at the hotel. Mikey was looking forward to a nice comfortable bed and a warm meal.
- "You have to be kidding me"- the bassist woke up and found Joey next to him, watching Criminal Minds.
- "What? They had it, I just…"
- "You are so lame."
- "Shut up. Wanna help them find the unsub?"
- "No, wanna help me find an air hostess to get us a drink?"
- "It’s nine in the morning!"- Joey frowned, shocked.
- "Not in Osaka, over there is already… one in the morning! Shit, we are late and sober."
- "Shut up, Mikey."
Lynz looked around the plane and found Joey and Mikey laughing a few rows behind them.
- "Everything ok?"- Gerard asked and looked over too. Of course, his brother and the girl he had a crush on were laughing and enjoying their time.
- "Yeah, I just hadn’t heard Mikey so happy in a while."
- "Yeah"- Gerard quickly put on his headphones back on and continued reading. Lynz nodded and looked at him. He was crystal clear.
::: Japan, January 30, 2011 :::
Joey felt she was dead when she reached her bed. With the bit of energy left in her body, she managed to take off her shoes and facetime Matthew. That was everything she could do before falling asleep on the bed, fully dressed and holding the phone in her hand. Until someone knocked on her door.
- "Sushi time!!!"- Mikey yelled and rushed into her room with Frank.
- "What the fuck?"- the girl was lost in time and space.
- "Hey Iceland!"- Frank hugged her tight and spun her around.
- "Jersey… hey…"- she yawned and scratched her eyes, still half asleep- "What time is it?"
- "Late for lunch or early for dinner, your pick"- Mikey was somehow completely energized, and Frank followed.
- "How many coffees have you two had today?"
- "Two green teas"- Frank said and raised his hands.
- "Five coffees!!- Mikey jumped, and Joey chuckled- "Come on! I need to eat my whole weight in sushi!"
- "He tries to do the same every time we are in Japan… it hasn’t worked yet, but once he puked his weight"- Joey laughed at Frank’s story and walked to the bathroom.
- "Ok, kids. Give me a couple of minutes to get ready, I’m kinda hungry, but I think I want some fries."
- "Bummer!"- Mikey yelled and jumped on the girl’s bed- "Hurry up before someone else wakes up ad we have to wait for more people to get ready."
Mikey loved being in Japan. Why? It was the tour life all over again, and he loved it. He wasn’t home. He was with his friends all the time, so he was never on his own, overthinking everything going through his mind. Mikey needed a break from his life, and touring was the perfect way to avoid reality. Besides, he was on the other side of the world. There was no way he could add more distance between him and his ex. That made him feel relieved. It was like she wasn’t real anymore.
Worm was snoring at the back of the van as Frank, Joey, and Mikey toured around the city. They convinced her to stay awake until night to fight the jet lag, so they kept drinking coffee and looking around the city. Joey was on fire. In her whole life, she had imagined she could go to Japan. She couldn’t believe it. Life had turned out pretty well for her after all those years. It was like she deserved to be happy after the miserable days back in the orphanage. Maybe that was karma. And it was time to enjoy the sunny days.
- "I want a kimono for Akumu!"- she yelled and woke Worm up as soon as they saw a kimono store when the van parked.
- "Iceland, there is no way we can go out on our own in Japan"- Mikey warned
- "Why?"
- "‘Cos… Worm?"- the bassist turned to their friend and bodyguard, and he explained.
- "Though people here are completely respectful, sometimes it gets too crowded."
- "Meaning?"- the drummer didn’t get it.
- "There are too many of them"- Joey nodded at Worm’s words and thought about it for a second.
- "I’ll tell you guys what, park the van, I’ll go to that store, buy Matthew a kimono, and run back to the van in less than fifteen minutes"- no one answered- "There is no way on earth people know me here."
- "Joey"- Iero tried to argue, but the girl didn’t let him.
- "Frank"- she simply replied and raised an eyebrow.
- "I’m not gonna let you go alone"- Worm said and moved over- "Come on, Let’s get Doctor Spencer Reid a kimono"- the girl chuckled as the bodyguard gave instructions to the driver to take them to the best kimono store around.
- "Thank you"- Joey answered and smiled at Worm.
- "Why does Gubler like kimonos so much?"- Frank asked, frowning.
- "His grandma brought him one from Japan when he was a kid, and he has kept it his whole life. I think it would be an excellent addition to bring him a new one for his collection."
- "He collects them now?"
- "Yes"- the drummer answered and looked at her phone.
- "Hey, Jamia is coming to London"- Frank announced.
- "Awesome!"- Joey nearly jumped with the news- "I like Jamia."
- "Really?"- Frank sounded surprised.
- "Yeah! She is adorable! And the babies are so cute!!"
- "Well, I’m glad ‘cos she is gonna be there for a whole week. And I’m guessing you are gonna have to help to change diapers."
- "Deal!"- Joey grinned and thought about it- "Maybe I should ask Matthew if he can come along to London too."
- "Jamia would love you even more if you do"- the three of them chuckled at those words - "She was so embarrassing in New Year."
- "Matthew couldn’t believe it when I told him she was crushed on him."
- "She was so obvious! He didn’t notice it?"
- "I don’t know"- Joey thought about it for a second- "Maybe he is used to people acting weird around him… doesn’t it happen to you too?"- the two musicians thought about it, and Worm chuckled.
- "You are the only girl I’ve seen acting human around them in years"- he said, and Joey laughed
- "I get it now."
The idea of Matthew visiting her in London gave Joey a refreshed energy and something to look forward to in her near future. Was he going to say yes? He had a tight schedule, but maybe he could take some time off for her, perhaps a few days. It was a long trip, yes, but… they could be together. That was always good. The girl decided to wait to call him that night and ask him if he was willing to make the trip. She kept her hopes high, though, ‘cos she knew he missed her as well.
- "I’m so sorry, Yami. I can’t make it"- Matthew answered and saw his girlfriend’s eye water up in a second.
- "But why?"
- "I had already thought about it when I saw your schedule, but that’s the week I start rolling the movie, and I can’t just leave."
- "I understand, Akumu"- she mumbled, laid in her bed, dressed in one of his shirts.
- "I’m so sorry, baby"- he whispered and yawned. It was eight in the morning in Los Angeles, and Gubler was getting ready to work.
- "It’s ok… I get it. You have to work too."
- "I swear I’m gonna look for a date to visit you as soon as I can."
- "Thanks."
- "I have to go now, I need to shower"- the girl nodded at his words and smiled as he showed her the jar of cookies she had made him- "I already ate half of them."
- "Enjoy them, Akumu. I’m going to sleep ‘cos I’m dying."
- "Ok, Yami. Talk to you later."
- "Yeah, I’ll call you when I wake up."
- "Love you."
- "Me too."
The call ended, and Joey kept staring at the screen for a few seconds. One day without him and she was already suffering like she hadn’t suffered any of the earlier times. Why?
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and made her wonder who would knock at her door at midnight. She had said goodnight to Frank, Ray, and Mikey after dinner.
- "Hey, Gerard"- the girl said, surprised as soon as she found him standing outside her room- "What are you doing here?"
- "I just…"- the singer was nervous. He stared at Joey and didn’t say a word for a few seconds.
- "You just?"- the girl asked and kept waiting for an answer.
- "I just wanted to check on you."
- "Thanks, I was about to go to bed, though I might have had three coffees too many, you? Where’s Lynz?"- it hurt Gerard to see Joey so careless about the fact his wife was there. It was like she was even enjoying it.
- “But why? Doesn’t she want to spend time with me? Didn’t she miss me?” She was tired and decided to take a bath."
- "That’s a good choice"
- "Can I come in?"- Joey opened the door completely and watched Gerard Way walking in.
- "So, how was your break?"- the girl sat on her bed and looked at Gee, who kept walking in circles around the room.
- "It was good. Are you mad at me?"- he simply asked, straight to the point, and turned to the girl, who frowned, confused.
- "No, why?"
- "'Cos you are not talking to me."
- "I’m talking now."
- "Yeah, but… you feel distant"- Joey sighed and stared at the singer thinking her answer with a rational and cold mind, for the very first time since she met him.
- "We have never been real close, Gerard"- and that hurt him- "It’s not like we are best friends."
- "Yeah, but it feels like you don’t want to be near me."
- "I don’t have a reason to be near you,"- and that hurt him again, 'cos it meant she didn’t care.
- “There’s no way she doesn’t care. She just has to be excusing herself cos Lynz is here.”
- "Sorry, that didn’t come out right"- Joey excused herself and shook her head, trying to rearrange her thoughts.
- “Thank God.”- Way nearly sighed.
- "What I meant was we haven’t shared so much, and you have been with your wife since we reached the airport. So… no, I’m not mad at you, we just haven’t had time to talk, or whatever."
Joey was so proud of herself she could have clapped if she was alone. She was talking with Gerard, not feeling nervous or… creaming her undies.
- "I see."
- "But we can hang out tomorrow. My plan is breakfast, practice morning, lunch, practice, soundcheck, show. I guess I’ll see you on the soundcheck, we can hang out, have coffee, you can catch me up with everything you did on your break, did you have fun?"- the girl yawned and kept looking at Gerard with a warm smile. Where did the temptation go? It just vanished.
- "Yes, it was very fun"- he answered and sighed, absolutely disappointed.
- "Great! You can tell me all about it tomorrow. Right now, I need to sleep."
- "Sure, sorry for coming so late."
- "Don’t worry"- Joey stood up and was about to walk him to the door when Gerard wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t know how to react to it, so she just stayed still for a second. He smelled so good. That hadn’t changed. But he didn’t feel like a magnet anymore. It still felt weird to be hugged by him. Like… it was dangerous somehow.
- "Sleep tight, ok?"- Gerard moved slightly apart from her but made sure to stay close enough to feel her perfume around him and kissed her cheek. She nodded and felt her knees shake. He could make her nervous; that was a fact.
Gerard was hot, caring, and he was holding her tight. But it was wrong. It felt wrong. And Joey didn’t want to be under those circumstances again.
- "Ok, goodnight"- she moved away from him quickly, making him feel rejected. Gerard Way, rejected? He tried not to make eye contact with her and walked outside the room. Joey stared at the door to make sure he was gone and scratched her eyes in disbelief.
- “What the fuck was that?”- she asked herself in shock- “Was Gerard hitting on me? That felt weird. It didn’t feel naive…. It wasn’t friendly… his eyes… it felt he was trying to get me naked… what the fuck?”
The girl laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to analyze what had happened. She couldn’t find any logical reason to explain Gerard’s behavior. He had been awkward since the moment he stepped into the room. Then he had hugged her for no reason, and then he stared at her from the smallest distance possible. He kissed her cheek, so gently, so slowly, like he was kissing her lips. Sure, he was hot, sure, she had been attracted to him before, but that didn’t mean under any circumstances that she was going to cave in and kiss him.
- “Yeah, I’ve had fantasies, like the kind of fantasies I have with Chris Hemsworth… fuck, he is hot.”
The girl made a pause, ‘cos her thoughts started drifting to the actor.
- “But hell no! I’m not making out with Gerard. He is married, I’m going to be married, and I am not interested, thank you very much”.
Japan was a blast. It was a lot of work, and it was wearing because of the insane jet lag, but mostly, it had been amazing. And for Joey was special too, 'cos Mikey hadn’t seemed that happy ever since she first met him.
But talking with Matthew had been hard. Japan was 16 hours ahead of time, and he was either sleeping or working when she could speak. The same for him. The girl couldn’t wait to reach London to be in a more normal time zone. At least there, she was going to be just nine hours ahead of him.
::: London, February 12th, 2011 :::
Joey walked around Frank’s room holding Cherry while Jamia changed Lily’s diaper. Frank was carrying all of the suitcases downstairs to take his wife and babies to the airport. They had spent an amazing week together in London. Even Joey was sad to know Jamia was leaving. She loved the babies and, just as Frank had warned her, she had had to babysit for them a couple of times, with Ray and Mikey, while Frank and his wife had a couple of dates.
- "If you need anything for the wedding, please don’t doubt and call me, or text me, this is my number"- Mrs. Iero smiled at Joey and gave her a little paper.
- "Thank you, Jamia."
- "I don’t know if you have any married friends in Los Angeles or someone with some wedding experience to give you a hand with all the preparations."
- "I don’t, actually"- the girl whispered, blushing- "I don’t have any kind of idea or clue about what I have to do."
- "Oh shit! This is so exciting!"- and Jamia nearly jumped as she stared at the drummer- "Then I’m gonna have to go help you in person “And hang out your hot fiancé!! Maybe I can help him pick up the tuxedo for the ceremony… maybe I can watching changing outfits over and over and over again.”
- "Jamia, Jamia"- Frank stood in front of his wife and waved- "Earth to Jamia!"
- "Sorry! I was… lost in thoughts. I wanna help Joey with the wedding."
- "Don’t worry, Jamia, I don’t wanna be trouble"- Joey smiled awkwardly as Frank took Cherry from her arms and kissed his baby’s chubby cheeks.
- "Don’t be silly. It’s no trouble. I love to help."
- "You love the groom, face it"- Frank joked, making Joey laugh immediately as Jamia hit his arm a couple of times.
- "Shut up!!"
- "It’s ok, Jamia. I’ll call you in case I need any help, so… I’ll call you a lot of times"- Jamia smiled and gave Joey a small hug.
- "Take care."
- "You too! Thank you for hanging out with me."
- "Don’t be silly!"- Jamia chuckled- "I had a great time! Please, if my husband does something stupid, don’t doubt and hit him"- Joey burst out laughing, and Frank chuckled.
- "Jeez, you really trust me."
- "I actually know you, Paco. I’m not guessing here. I’m talking facts"- the woman stuck out her tongue to her husband and looked at Joey again- "And if he tries to get you into more tattoos."
- "He already got me two, but the last one was too painful, so this might be it."
- "I told you, the ribs are the worst, but you wanted your last name there, and it was your birthday gift"- Iero chuckled and messed with Joey’s hair.
Jamia liked knowing Frank was, in fact, a friend to Joey and that she wasn’t a threat to her in any way.
- "Ok, come on, I’ll take you to the airport"- Joey waved, and Frank nodded- "See you later, Bug"- the three of them walked outside the room, and Joey walked to her door.
- "Hey Lynz"- the drummer said, surprised to find her outside her room- "What are you doing here?"
- "I was looking for… Gerard"- she said and frowned, disappointed, or maybe surprised, to find he wasn’t with her.
- "I haven’t seen him. I was with Jamia helping her getting the babies ready for the flight"- Joey smiled and opened the door.
- "Can I talk to you for a second?"- and her stomach jumped at those words immediately.
- "Sure, what is it? Please, come in."
Lynz walked into Joey’s room and sighed, trying to set her speech straight, to don’t fuck it up and look like a psycho killer. That would make everything worse. She had managed to stay calm around her husband, though every day, she was more and more certain Gerard had a crush on Joey.
- "I’m sorry to bother you, I just… needed to know your opinion, as a woman."
- "Tell me… wow, this is weird, no one ever asks my opinion as a woman"- Joey joked and sat Indian style on her bed- "Please, make yourself home."
- "Thanks"- Lynz sat next to her and smiled- "I just needed to know if Gerard has been weird with you or something."
And Joey’s cheek turned red right away.
- "Weird? Weird like what?"- she honestly asked, thinking there was no way Mrs. Way knew her husband was a flirt with Joey. ‘Cos he was.
- "I don’t know… has he tried anything with you?"
- "What? No!"- the drummer widened her eyes in shock- "We don’t even spend time alone"- which was true- "And we are not even that close"- also true- "So there’s no way he could have tried anything with me."
Joey tried to calm herself down a little bit and looked into Lynz’s eyes.
- "Why would you ask me such a thing? Did something happen?"
- "No. I just know him, and I feel he is maybe a little crush on you"- Lynz was honest with Joey, ‘cos she felt she didn’t reciprocate his husband’s feelings. Maybe by talking about it, she could make sure Joey would stay away from the singer.
- "Shit! No!"- Joey quickly answered, still in shock- "Lynz, I swear nothing has happened with Gerard! And there is no way anything could ever happen with Gerard"- and Joey meant every word.
- "Thank you"- Lynz sighed and looked at the woman sitting in front of her- "I don’t mean to be a psychopath weird bitchy wife, I just…"- she made a pause and scratched her head with closed eyes- "Sometimes he spends so much time away… it makes me doubt."
- "Of him?"
- "Of everything, I guess… maybe after what happened with Alicia and Mikey."
- "She cheated, right?"- Mrs. Way nodded at Joey’s question- "She is still your friend"
- "Yes, but it got weird… and it makes me wonder if my relationship with Gerard could ever get to that point of no return"- Lynz was playing the empathy card with Joey- "Have you ever felt like you and Matthew are growing apart while you are away?"
The drummer’s heart stopped at the thought, and her hand unconsciously reached the necklace he had given her.
- "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out."
- "Don’t worry, I guess it’s something we are all worried about at some point."
Joey was sincere, sensing maybe Lynz was honest and vulnerable around her. She didn’t really swallow a lot of crap from people, but she knew Gerard had acted strange with her, so maybe his wife was right.
- "But about me, don’t worry. Gerard hasn’t tried anything weird, and I am not looking for anything weird with him either"- Joey cut her a warm smile- "We are not that close. I’ve always felt he is still not sure about having me in the band, so…"
- "Don’t worry, I get it"- Lynz wanted to believe her, ‘cos she seemed sincere- "Anyway, I don’t wanna freak you out, I better go finish packing."
- "You are leaving?"- Joey frowned as the two of them stood up and walked to the door- "Why?"
- "I’ve got to work, and you will be stuck in a bus with the band for the following weeks. I don’t want to be you"- Joey burst out laughing, thinking she was right.
- "Mikey farting, that’s something I don’t miss"- the two women were still laughing when Gerard appeared as soon as Joey opened the door.
- "Gee"- Lynz frowned, and the singer froze, feeling caught.
- "Hey… what are you doing here?"- he asked and looked at his wife, not knowing what to do.
- "I was hanging out with Joey, you?"
- "I wanted to ask Joey if she had seen you. I reached our room, and you weren’t there, and I can’t find the guys either"- his excuse smelled like bullshit, and everybody knew it- "Besides, I wanted to remind you today we are leaving right away after the show, so you should get your bags into the bus soon"- Joey nodded and turned to Lynz.
- “Shit, now she is going to think I was lying to her” Yes, Ray already called me to remind me that, and Mikey said he was coming in a while to help me taking everything downstairs."
-" Great"- Lynz kept looking at her husband, and Joey kept wondering what to do next.
- "I’m gonna get ready for the show then"- the drummer said and turned to the other girl- "I’m sorry we didn’t have more time to hang out."
A part of her was honest. Joey didn’t want Lynz to leave thinking she was trying to steal her husband, ‘cos she wasn’t.
- "Thanks"- Lynz looked at her and cut her a smile, meeting Joey’s apologetic eyes.
- "And I meant it, everything I said… about Mikey"- Gerard frowned right away. What were those two talking about on their own?- "He hasn’t been weird, but if he is, I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid"- the two of them stared at each other, and finally, Lynz nodded.
- "Thanks, I trust you’d do the right thing."
- "What about my brother?"
- "We were just talking about him and Alicia"- Lynz lied and held her husband's hand- "Come on, let’s leave Joey do her things, see you later."
- "Yes! Later!"
The drummer closed the door behind her back and sighed. What the fuck was going on?
**
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#Gerard Way#Matthew Gray Gubler#mgg#Babymetaldoll writes#babymetaldoll edits#Mikey Way#Frank Iero#Ray Toro#Danger Days#mgg fanfic#mgg x oc#mcr fanfic#mgg smut
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A “Riz & Adaine being lowkey besties” fanfic
The morning after they rescue Adaine & Aelwyn from Calethriel Tower, after she restores Aelwyn’s memory to before she was captured, Adaine is sitting at the back of the Van trying not to spiral. Riz joins her, and they have a little chat.
(This is the first Fantasy High fic I’ve ever written & the first fanfic I’ve written in a hot minute so I’m sorry if it’s not the best but I needed this to exist because I love Riz & Adaine’s friendship sm.)
The songs of the Treants danced through the air around Kei Lumennura as Adaine sat at the back of the van with the doors open wide. Her sister was curled up and unconscious inside, restored back to her unfortunate past self. There had been an abundance of pain seeing her sister weak and broken and vulnerable, but there had also been hope. Hope that maybe this would be a new start for the sisters. Aelwyn had spoken to her in a way that made Adaine finally feel like her equal, finally feeling like she wanted to care for her instead of casting Ray of Sickness at any chance she got. But the world was cruel and unforgiving, so the walk through Aelwyn’s mind had torn her heart out and then had given her no time to grieve.
The old Aelwyn was back, her father was possibly dead, and her mother was working for somebody who definitely wasn’t good. The anxiety was mounting, quickly. She’d taken her meds upon waking up this morning but that just took the edge off enough to keep her from being incapacitated by her panic attacks. Holding Boggie tightly to her chest, she was lost in her own thoughts as the rest of the group carried on. After some time, she was interrupted by a familiar voice.
“So… It’s been a uh, wild few days, huh?” She lifted her eyes from the spot on the ground they’d been focused on to see Riz standing in front of her.
She scoffed lightly and nodded her head, not saying anything.
Riz didn’t say anything else for a long moment either. He moved to lift himself up and sit beside her in the back of the van, his legs swinging slightly as they dangled over the edge. There was a heaviness in her chest.
She wanted to be back home, with Jawbone there to help her through any crises she may have, or at least to have her group therapy once a week to keep her grounded. She wanted to be far away from Fallinel, far away from those who had captured her and were most likely going to execute her. Adaine missed Elmville terribly, and she missed the comfort of familiarity and regularity that it brought to her just as much.
“I’m really glad you’re back,” Riz finally spoke again. He rubbed the back of his neck and turned his head to look at her. “We weren’t really sure what was happening to you, or what they were going to do with you, and that was…” He sighed, “The not knowing was scary.”
“I’m pretty sure they were going to execute me.” Adaine said quietly.
Riz’s brow shot up in surprise. “What?!”
“Yeah. I mean.. I was basically given a choice. Either stay and be their Elven Oracle and do everything they told me to do.. Or they were going to kill me, so the gift of the Oracle could be passed on to somebody else, somebody who would stay in Fallinel and do what they wanted.” The weight of the words leaving her lips fell on her shoulders like boulders. She felt too numb to cry.
“Holy shit Adaine… And your dad was fine with that?”
“Of course he was, Riz. He’s a foul little worthless excuse of a man. We already knew that.” She spit the words out venomously.
Riz said nothing in response, just pursed his lips together and nodded his head silently.
Boggie let out a soft ribbet as she held him in her arms.
“They tortured my sister there for so long… She was like a shell of a person when I found her. So broken and helpless… When she woke up here she asked me if we escaped or if we died and honestly, I’m not sure which answer she was hoping to hear from me…” She was silent for a few seconds before continuing, “Then I thought maybe we’d have a chance to really get to know each other, for the first time like… ever? Maybe we could be on the same side for once… But now that version of Aelwyn is gone and she’s back to being exactly who I always hated her for being.” Adaine let out a shaky breath and pulled her feet up, crossing her legs criss-cross beneath her.
“Does that make me a bad person? For wishing she could be in pain again, and wishing she could remember what she went through these past few months just because it hurts me more if she doesn’t?” She turned her head to look at Riz.
He laughed and she furrowed her brow at him.
“Sorry, I’m not— I’m not trying to laugh at you.” He shook his head and turned to meet her eyes, “It’s just funny to me that you think you could ever be a bad person.” He offered a small smile.
She held his gaze for a moment, searching his face and finding nothing but genuine care and honesty. They’d talked about her family before. She’d told him bits and pieces about her parents, about how they were growing up, about her sister. There had been times when she’d even confided in him how she wished she and Aelwyn could’ve been close. He’d heard her say that it didn’t matter how much she hated and resented her sister, there would always be a part of her that wished things had gone differently. There would always be a part of her that longed to be close with her sister, and a part of her that loved her.
Riz knew what she struggled with. He knew how hard she tried to be the opposite of what her parents were, of what they’d turned her sister into. And he’d always been quick to reassure her that she was far from resembling anything close to them.
Adaine sighed softly before she looked out over the elven sanctuary, taking it all in.
“Are you okay?” He asked after a few more moments of quiet between them.
She scoffed again. “My shitty dad might be dead. I didn’t even get to have one nice day with my sister after saving her from being tortured for months on end. My mom is working for the Nightmare King or Kalina or whoever it is exactly that we’re dealing with. I almost got executed while I was in Elf prison and now I’m basically a fugitive, so,” She shrugged, throwing her hands up a bit as she did. Riz grimaced and she sighed heavily again, dropping her hands onto her lap. “I’m fine.”
Riz looked at her, skeptically raising his brow.
“You don’t seem fine.” He challenged. She turned her head and shot him a look, opening her mouth to say something, but he continued before she had a chance, “You don’t have to talk about it. I’m not here to be a dick, I was just worried about you. I was really worried about you while you were gone and I thought maybe that I’d feel better now that you’re back with us but… I’m still worried.” It was his turn to shrug, lifting his shoulders and letting them fall gently back down.
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen with you and your sister or you and your family and these fuckin’ elves. There are still so many things we don’t have answers for and I don’t.. I don’t like not having answers. But when you weren’t here it just became so much more clear to me that nobody—” He stopped himself short, scrunching her nose in thought for a moment before continuing, “We can’t— I can’t do this without you.” He adjusted the hat atop his head. “This isn’t gonna happen again. I won’t let it happen again.”
“Well we seem to have taken down Calethriel Tower so I don’t think it could even if you wanted it to.” She said teasingly.
“Yeah I wanted to ask what happened with all that but there hasn’t really felt like a right time?”
“Oh, Fig played her bass and it cracked a gem that made the whole thing come crumbling down. It was kind of rad, honestly.”
Riz chuckled softly. “Wild..”
“Yeah, but I didn’t really expect anything less.” Adaine laughed along with him.
Another silence, comfortable and soft, settled between them as they looked out into the sanctuary, Fabian still dancing as the rest of the group encouraged him.
Still looking forward, Riz spoke again, “I’m sorry you got kidnapped and held as a prisoner, Adaine. We should’ve protected you so much better than we did. I wanted to come break you out sooner but we had some hang ups when we first got here, a bit of culture shock that set us back longer than I wanted and then the usual nonsense that set us back even more. I didn’t want you feeling like we were partying and having a good time and enjoying ourselves while you were being tortured or whatever... It felt fucked up.”
“That’s because it probably was a little fucked up.” She said, an ever-so-slight grin on her face as she teased him.
“I know,” He sighed, not completely acknowledging her teasing tone, “I couldn’t enjoy any of it. Fabian’s grandpa is too much to handle, honestly, and I thought the trees were kind of a nice vibe but then they started singing and it’s just…” He shook his head, clearing his thoughts and refocusing, “I’m just glad you’re with us again… This whole thing,” He gestured around to the rest of the party, to the van, to their surroundings, “Isn’t the same without you.”
She pursed her lips and gave a small smile, nodding her head slightly.
“I’m here if you ever want to talk, you know that, right?” He turned his head again to look at her, holding eye contact with her.
“I know,” She parroted the words he’d said not but a few seconds before, but sounding much gentler. “Thanks, Riz.” She smiled at him. It was a saddened, anxious, and broken smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Anything for my best friend.” He replied, giving her a small smile and nudging her side gently with his elbow.
After a few more seconds of silent eye contact, communicating thoughts of understanding and concern and care that Adaine felt too exhausted to have exchanged out loud, they both looked forward again. Sitting in silence, no longer alone, the comfort of Riz Gukgak’s presence beside her helped her feel like maybe she’d be alright outside of Elmville for a little while longer after all.
#fantasy high#fantasy high fanfic#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#dimension 20#adaine and riz#riz and adaine#is this good? no#am i proud of it? no#did it finally break my year long writers block? yes#so i will post it
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Hey, hope you don't mind me asking, I don't want to pressure you, but I was wondering about your narnia au, love your writing, and hope your having a good time
narnia au is something that I ever so occasionally add to whenever I’m in a sentimental and wistful mood - which I have been watching an unreasonable amount of call the midwife lately lmao
so here’s a snippet -
---
“We all have ghosts, Five.”
“Klaus can literally see ghosts. I think if Dad was hanging around, the whole house and half the city would know about it by now.”
Susan gives him a disappointed look that makes him look away, out the window. “You know that isn’t what I meant, and you know it.”
“If anyone has a monopoly on ghosts, it’s my brother.”
Susan sighs, reaching up to cup Five’s cheek in her hand. Her skin is soft, it doesn’t feel like tissue paper against his cheek but it feels delicate, fragile. He can feel the way her fingers shake ever so slightly, stabilizing against his jawbone. “Oh, love. We don’t choose the ghosts that haunt us, and how we live with them until we can put them to rest.”
“My ghosts are my own fault. I was the one that killed people. I was the one who said that my siblings were more important than anyone else, than anyone else’s siblings.”
Susan taps her fingers against his cheek, “Oh? You killed your father? You hadn’t told me that one yet. Good, bastard deserved it.”
It’s enough to draw a startled laugh from his throat, “No! I mean, maybe I should’ve, but Dad died thanks to his own stupidity not mine, thank you. That’s one thing I won’t take the blame for.”
Susan hums, leaning back and taking her hand from his cheek to reach down and grasp his hands between them again.
Fire hesitates, looking down at their entwined hands so that he doesn’t have to look at Susan in the eye. “Sometimes I wake up and I forget, just for a minute. I wake up thinking that I have to get up, because Dad hated us being late for breakfast. He’d give us a swat with a ruler for every minute we were tardy. Allison always teased me about being late even though I could jump, but he was always twice as mad when I did that.”
“It must be a relief to realize you can lie in.” Susan smiles, but Five can’t smile back.
“No. There’s a moment in the morning when I think Dad is still alive, and that’s terrible, but in the same moment I think I’m going to go downstairs and my siblings are going to be standing at attention around the table. I think that I’ll see Klaus trying to kick the back of Ben’s knees without Dad noticing, that I’ll see Vanya hiding a book in her cardigan, I’ll see Luther’s stupid judgemental face even though Allison was late more times than me and she never got his stupid faces. And then I remember all over again, and I lose them all over again.”
Susan looks at him with sad eyes.
“Is that why you moved to America?” Five asks, shaking his head to try and ignore the stinging between his eyes, “So you wouldn’t get stuck in memories so much?”
“Sometimes.” Susan says slowly, “I won’t say that it wasn’t a factor, that I didn’t think about it. That I don’t think about the English countryside and think of Lucy with mud on her face and Edmund trying to put tadpoles down the back of Peter’s shirt.”
“Klaus put spiders in our beds when he was mad at us. It only ever scared Luther, though. I think Vanya just cried because she thought she squished one by accident.” Five whispers, and Susan graces him with a smile. “I thought about that, in the apocalypse. I ate spiders, sometimes, when I could find them. I always thought of Vanya crying when I did it.”
“Lucy scolded Edmund something fierce over it as well.” Susan shakes her head at the memory, “She was in tears when Edmund pointed out that people ate frogs, but I think they were more angry than anything else. He had a bruise for weeks where she thumped him, yelling about how we didn’t live in France.”
They spend a little while in silence, taking a moment for themselves to remember their respective siblings.
Susan pats Five’s hands gently, “I was a bit like you, you know, when I came back the first time. Not right away, when we were at the professor’s house, but when we went back home. I hadn’t realized how much I’d forgotten.”
“Forgotten?”
“About home! I went back up to my room, and there were all the things I’d forgotten. My collection of hair ribbons was still on the dresser. My favorite ones were a royal blue, I’d thought I looked so distinguished with them in. I’d forgotten all about them, until I saw them on that dresser.” Susan pats his hand, looking faintly wistful.
“My room looks the same as well.” Five admits, “Exactly the same. It threw me off, at first. It was all rubble in the apocalypse, I didn’t even think about it until I had to go upstairs to get my uniform. My books were still on the nightstand.”
Susan nods sagely.
“At least, I think it’s exactly the same. I don’t remember, is the problem. If - if my siblings moved stuff around, or took anything away, or - or anything like that, I don’t think I’d know. I think it bothers me, that I don’t remember.” Five shakes his head, “It’s been so many years. There’s so much I might have forgotten, but how will I know I’ve forgotten it?”
Five can’t help the affronted look that settles on his face when Susan just shrugs. His mulish expression must be terribly amusing, because it makes Susan’s eyes twinkle with laughter.
“It’s important to remember the past.” Susan tells him gently, the twinkle never fading, “But I think it’s equally important to forge the future, to make new memories. I left England because it was painful, yes. But I also left because America was new, and brilliant, and exciting. Because I wanted to.”
Susan squeezes his hands gently, he isn’t sure if she can squeeze much harder anyway. Her strength seems to come and go like the tides these days.
“Change isn’t a betrayal of what came before, love. Sometimes change is necessary.” Susan hums, “I threw out those hair ribbons, when I came home. Edmund and Lucy swapped rooms entirely. I learned how to put on makeup - they didn’t have red lipstick in Narnia, I can tell you that. It was different, but different was good. Less painful.”
“Allison’s been talking about painting.” Five offers. “She wants to set up a room for when Claire comes to visit. I can’t imagine her in the mansion though. She always sounds so happy, on the phone. Claire, I mean. So carefree. I don’t think we were ever that carefree.”
“If your home isn’t one you can imagine happiness in, perhaps you should ask yourself how you can change that.”
Five snorts, “Doing away with the wall art would be a start. Daily reminders on exactly where to stab each other with our silverware.”
“How ferocious.”
#five meets susan au#me? drawing comparisons between susan pevensie and five hargreeves?#it's more likely than you think#narnia crossover#narnia au#susan and five have a lot of conversations about their experience#they both struggle with the concept of being left behind#susan by the death of her siblings and five by the growth of his#if nothing else susan at least grew up alongside her siblings#while five was left in stagnation and isolation#but they were both thrust into worlds they were no longer familiar with#left with ghosts#susan at least had her siblings at first#people who knew how out of place she felt who she could commisserate with#five doesn't have anybody who understands his experience#so guess what susan is going to be that person !! and she's going to resurrect reginald hargreeves just to kill him again#susan knows what it's like to be too old to be young and too young to be old ;w;#susan: five is my grandson now i am almost 120something years old mentally and he's only in his 50#susan pointing at five: babie#five: i mean i can't argue with my elders now can i#long post#far tua long#Anonymous
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