#(i do actually need to eat though) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beatcroc · 9 months

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pest control TWO!!!!! heres the first one

adn heres the obligatory bonus bc i can't help myself :')

#i already threatened that little basard twice in these i may as well make good on it #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #the noise #fp ''oh god wait that is not a real rat and also tastes awful'' moments. he doesnt actually have any interest in eating that thang ok #even if seeing a small scampering little guy like that WILL activate his prey drive without fail #peppino loves it he thinks it's the funniest shit in the world for fp to go after noise. so he is always encouraging this.#but anyway yeah. fp is *really* not the one noise should be worried about.#arting #pizzaposting #i still have lots of tag room thjis time so im gonna do some tangential nonsense rambling. e #fp gotta be like crazy good at hunting i think. not just for strength and predator instincts but also bc like #he doesn't have much in the way of a scent or body heat or anything that would give him away as an alive thing #not to mention he's uh... not particularly organically-shaped a lot of the time #so esp. to smaller prey that don't like... memorize a landscape; if he holds very still he's like completely undetectable #total ambush king. though i'm sure hes also very good at #persistence and pursuit hunting since he has peppino's speed and no way of getting muscle fatigue. ultimate beast #fortunately he doesnt care that much and doesnt really need to eat so hes not devastating the local ecosystem or anything #except for the rats.

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skunkes · 4 months

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i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc

#oc text #obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous #even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim #not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like #even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly #and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath #AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this?#he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly #bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!!#while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety !#so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes...#we're also weird eating buddies <3 #and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time #severe death phobia buddies...#i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it #as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this #form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim #though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything #he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though)#but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon.#my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them.#he's growing with me.#oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors #ok goodnite

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spirallingintotheabyss · 1 year

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If I got my hands on a Leitner I’d simply eat it. Rip to everyone else but paper tastes nice and I’m curious

#tma #would I die? most likely yes. is it worth it? probably not. will I still do it? yes #I wouldn’t even eat the whole book! just a page #maybe even less if he asked me nicely #actually screw that I’ve done things I’m not proud of Leitner wouldn’t need to ask nicely #still eating Some though

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chthonic-cassandra · 1 month

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I am on a train home after a twelve hour work day; I type this as I pass by the stop I got off at for school over seven years of my adolescence, which has mysteriously been figuring into my nightmares of late. I haven't slept or eaten enough.

But I am at once so happy, even as I feel on the edge of tears. I love my job and I love my partner and my dear coworkers and my clients. I love all of you. I love the few precious friends I still have from my adolescence, despite cutting arguments on the train platform which has now gone past. I love [x] and [ ] and it doesn't matter how many people would not accept that. My life is very painful but it is very beautiful and I can keep working towards a version of it where the people and spaces where I have to be fake can fall away, never fully perhaps but more and more. And even if I haven't figured out how yet I can find ways to get more of the things I am lacking. So so much always.

#this post may be authored by ~16yo me #but the giddiness can stand #(i do actually need to eat though)#personal #trauma

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spookythesillyfella · 11 days

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i keep thinking about making digitaltime content but .. i don't know what to do ... :[

anyway that one text post made me think of my colin birthday art so yk . whatever . i am okay with that .

★ [ original text post under cut ]

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ef-1 · 3 months

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girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

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moe-broey · 3 months

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CONGRATS ALFONSE FIRE EMBELM YOU ARE SO EPIC AND SO COOL FOREVER‼️‼️‼️‼️🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💘💓💝💞💝💗💘💖💘💓💘💖💕💕💞💖💝💖💞💗💖💖💝💕💝💖💝💕💕💝💝

Plus some zoom ins of the most worked on panels, slightly better lighting maybe hopefully 😅

And of course

The micro organism (about a pinky small)

#fire emblem #feh #it's tough! esp the way i've been coloring sharena and alfonse's to an extent skintones lately #i really don't want them to get washed out ....#i also really wanna know if this combo looks good. the more heavy/worked illusts w the one layer almost soft coloring #on the less focal point panels #i think it has a neat effect actually. you can really see how heavy i layer/work the pencils for fuller illusts #and also kept to just doing hair/facial features. some clothes details. but the bare minimum #if i did the skin it would be so over . i'm layering the fuck out of that. though obvs for darker skin tones #i'd find a way to incorporate it into that simplier style 🫡#REGARDLESS. artist talk aside #a very special very loving and affectionate hearty congrats to mr alfonse fire emblem for winning cyl!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🥺🥺🥺#i need to eat him.#i'm putting him in my mouth #chewing on him #forever.#fe alfonse #sharena #moe tag #summoner oc #my art #my comics

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divinekangaroo · 10 days

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rewatching S6 in bits and pieces for current fic and ahhhhhhhhhh but the whole Jack, Diana, Mosley and Lizzie final dinner is so *viscerally* fucking satisfying on every sensory and intellectual and emotional level of consumption.

#every single movement facial expression breath flick of an eye the choice of 'mosley' not 'mr mosley'#the way mosley says 'lizzie' for the first time #jack's buildup and his mad fucking innuendo just before diana and oswald show #particularly how every drink is taken and by whom and when #lizzie constantly holding herself back the entire time from Saying Something all these flinches and half-breaths #insane #INSANE #as much as the end of S3 is roaringly wrenchingly furiously emotionally good #this dinner is something else #this whole episode is pretty much something else though fffffffffffff #jack's patronising constant reference to tommy as if he's a much younger man/boy when you look at these two guys and jack looks younger??#by design i am sure #in the scene with the tie before the dinner.the way tommy's face says one thing while facing away from lizzie #then he puts on that mask as he turns to face her and you can SEE HIM DO THAT jesus #it would a writing exercise and a half to actually try to capture that scene in writing and work out what needs to be said/described #to carry the same effect because @coffeeatnight23 -> this scene is totally Tommy ripping his own heart out then eating it with relish :)#it *is* the saddest thing but also a fucking *reclamation* of something that tommy hasn't had since his suicide attempt. there's lots of #small reclamations of self that happen in post-Ruby S6 i seem to recall. despite flicks old trauma/foggy memory wandering also this-#-sort of structural shift/acceptance he is who he is and that is how he has agency (not solely money?)#anyway it's not triumph but there is *something* that i haven't found the word for yet #acceptance is one word but there's something more vicarious and dark in it that acceptance doesn't connote

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thatonebabybat · 4 months

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Hey btw having depression is not a requirement for being goth and if you think it is I don't like you. That's a whole chronic illness, not a part of your "goth mindset"/"aesthetic". Please reflect on that.

#“depression makes you introspective and deep” no it just makes you periodically think everyone wants you dead for varying amounts of time #and makes it hard to get up and go to work and eat and sleep and talk to people and do literally anything #if you have depression and you're goth I'm proud of you because being an active part of a subculture is dedication and time and energy #shit's hard. love yall #I understand it usually comes from a place of misunderstanding but don't romanticize people's disabilities pls #mentally ill ppl have it hard enough without you Doing That #goth #goth subculture #gothblr #gothgoth #gothic #I'm mentally ill btw I should clarify that. wont go into details abt it but #I'm speaking from a place of not wanting people to treat my trauma like a fun afternoon activity that you have to do to be goth #you can still relate to and enjoy plenty of goth music without being diagnosed with a chronic illness like major depressive disorder #like a lot of songs are just about concepts like heartbreak or periods of grief or introspection but those are things most people experienc #disabled ppl might experience them differently or more intensely but they're widespread experiences nonetheless.#you don't need a mental illness to “get it” it came free with your humanity actually. you can think/feel deeply abt shit without a diagnosi #I'll stop rambling though #goth music #goth aesthetic #gothcore #mental illness #mental health #depression #goth is about music

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anyoldfandom · 12 days

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The problem with starting to think about the Pack more is the fact that now I want to grab Skalamander the same way I grabbed Bobo like. My house now. I want to use your character potential.

#Generator rex #genrex #Just. Ough. OUGH.#Bobo was just a bad use of his potential but Skalamander is just a nothing use of his potential. Very little character there.#But looking at his design I just. Cannot get the question out of my head of 'Is it painful?'#Is he an EVO who lives in constant pain? We see that he can't stop drooling and is blind on one 'side' of his head.#And his tongue flops around when he has his mouth open. His skin stretches and sags in awkward places #It makes me think that he probably lives a pain-filled life and has probably got a wrecked mind bc of it. And then follows VK #Someone who looks at him and says You are not broken. I have use of you. I have salvation.#And with the disability symbolism with Genrex Skalamander also looks the most chronic pain having #Though granted most EVOs with significant body changes probably have chronic pain #I just. Head in hands. Fucked up lizard. How much of his mind is actually still there.#Do you think he has good days and bad days. Bad days where he can't move or days where his mind is more of a mess than usual.#He definitely has to struggle to eat and drink. With no other mouth.#Thinking also in context of Rex Pack AU of like. Skalamander having his bad days and having people who actually care about him #Doing the best they can to help. Bringing him food and water with specially designed straws and utensils #Sitting and talking to him on days his mind isn't fully there so at least he's not alone. Giving him space if he needs it #But making sure to keep a close eye on absolutely anything he needs.#Bc they're one big disabled family and they take care of each other

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moonscape · 4 months

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honestly people just need to stop giving a shit at the diet's other of other people. like why do you care if a fat person is eating unhealthily. why do you care if a somebody is a picky eater. this shit had zero impact on you. people have their reasons for doing those things and even if they don't literally why do you fucking care!!!! get lost!!!!!!!!!

#bwark #also i think everybody would benefit from doing the bare minimum of research into arfid #like you might actually start to give a shit about picky eaters then #though i don't think people are very kind to more wel known eds so maybe not #anyway tldr i need people who are shitty about how other people eat to kill themselves for real

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trans-axolotl · 10 months

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having a lot of thoughts about eating disorders + how some of us end up developing chronic illnesses directly because of the physical effects of our eating disorders and how Cruel doctors can be about that and just trying to untangle so much shame and blame from that experience rn

#personal #vent #eating disorder tw #disability #idk. i don't quite have the words for this right now but #had another meeting with my doctor where they said yeah its your fault that you are now physically disabled for life #(literally i was chronically ill and physically disabled before i even developed an eating disorder because of CAH and comorbidities but #(they love to ignore that !)#which is like. i do not tie any morality to health and it should just be #a completely neutral statement. that my eating disorder caused other physical complications #they said i'm going to have orthostatic problems the rest of my life.#'since your gastroparesis was caused by your eating disorder that means there is no point in treating it'#which is so funny bc literally every time i see her my dietitan wants me to get a feeding tube! lmfao!!!!#i am actually doing pretty well in recovery in terms of meeting my energy needs through food. but i stopped being able to orally supplement #so my dietitan wants a tube for ARFID nutrient reasons. supplemental nutrition etc etc. and she thinks it will help gastroparesis symptoms #they also think i have osteoporosis and want to test me for that #when i had to use forearm crutches/ wheelchair because of physical ed complications doctors were SO fucking rude even though they were #the ones PRESCRIBING IT!!! like!!! you all are the ones telling me i HAVE to do this!#idk i also have a friend with permanent brain damage. from seizures in the refeeding process #and her doctors are so fucking rude to her all the time.#it makes me so mad

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 month

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Traje de luces are seriously peak design, they will literally never get old for me. Every once in a while I'll go on a hunt for more matador pics, and I feel like my art isn't even brushing the surface. Just the amount of poses, colors, situations I could draw is so endless WAUGH

Sometimes they're truly the only thing I want to draw :,) I want to live in a parallel universe where all our f1 boys are bullfighters instead

#my AUs are actually just me wanting to draw different clothes WHO KNEW #i mean yeah i write lore but 🥱#though its funny bcs i do really love racesuits but god i really have no interest in drawing them #on the other hand: 18th century fashion. traje de luces. hussars. IM EATING THEM !!!!!!!!!!#im looking at pics of this one famous matador and like. hes not that attractive objectively but god he looks so hot as a matador #and hes an older guy but im looking at these pics like MAN MY ART WILL NEVER BE THIS GOOD #like I feel like nothing i draw will ever be enough nothing will ever fufill the urge in me ig #and i make up my own poses a lot but then i look at actual matador pics and god theyre just so fucking good its insane #and i keep seeing new traje de luces like new colors and designs and man truly the best costume ever designed #just the fact that they can wear a beautiful peachy pink color and it still looks so good even soaked in blood #yeah idk i think i feel this way w all my AUs #no matter how muvh i draw i still never feel satisifed or fufilled #I NEED TO EAT THEM.#maybe ill reblog w some pics i downloaded lol they make me insane #lol just saying this cause theres other things i reslly should be working on #but im constantly like matador go brrrrrrrrr #especially since my last one got a lot of notes 🤭🤭#catie.rambling.txt

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becca-e-barnes · 2 years

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Found this tumblr post

“One more “🥺” and you’re getting bred twice with no pulling out in between.”

Reminds me of innocent readers and porn star Bucky 😩🙈

Oooooh yes, this would be LOVELY (Also, I didn't expect to be away for two days, I was on a work trip and I didn't have time to write and I missed it so much)

Because pornstar Bucky would fucking adore that soft face you make when you want to get your way. You know how to push his buttons but sometimes he just doesn't want to give in because it's more fun not to.

Like maybe just begging Bucky for something silly. Asking him to make you breakfast on a bright Sunday morning and he argues back just for the sake of it because he knows where it will end up.

"Buck please, baby. I want pancakes." You huff, wrapping your arms around his chest from behind, feeling so small against him as he turns the coffee machine on.

He knows you can't see his face from where you're standing and he can't help but smirk because this is exactly what he needs this morning.

"Sweetheart, they take forever. I don't wanna have to clear up afterwards either." He's being so stubborn just because he can, turning around to face you.

"Please Bucky? Pretty please?" You plead, softening your eyes and letting your bottom lip drop into a little pout and God, he can't fucking handle it.

"You can't look at me like that. Makes me wanna fuck a baby into you. Make that face again and I'm gonna fuck you twice without pulling out in between." He watches exactly how your eyes light up and it's far more thrilling than it should be.

"Do it. Please, fuck a baby into me." Your voice is so soft, he thinks he might lose it. You give in to lust so quickly, particularly when he mentions breeding you and he finds it far too hot.

"Mhm, you want that? You want me to stuff your pretty pussy full? You want me to leave you dripping and then just fill you up again? Cause God, you'd look so pretty pregnant." The thought of it just drives him crazy.

His lips are on your neck, kissing so gently, sucking and teasing your skin as he props you up onto the counter for easier access. He doesn't waste any time, tugging off your little pyjama shorts and letting his sweatpants fall to the floor before pressing slowly into you.

"Bucky, I'm so fertile right now." He can't help but groan at your little admission because that's exactly what he needed to hear. It's not a warning, it's encouragement and it's more than he can handle.

"So you're telling me to use you, huh? Don't worry. I'm gonna make sure you're so stuffed full, you can't move without your little cunt dripping. I want you to feel me dripping out of you tomorrow and know it's too fucking late, you're probably already pregnant." He watches how your eyes roll back in your head, his slow thrusts gradually speeding up because he needs that first load inside you right fucking now. The second will take a little longer and that's when he'll really take the time to focus on your pleasure but for now, he just needs to stuff you full.

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #ps!bucky #I've decided I'm making changes #remember the last time I said that?#when I said I was going to quit my part time job and then I just... didn't do that #I really need it this time though #I'm getting back to working out #I don't eat right #multivitamins and vapes are not a substitute for food #I'm going to start sleeping at a normal time #I'm going to redecorate my bedroom #I'm reducing my caffeine intake bc my heart can't handle this anymore #I'm gonna put the work into my masters #bc right now I'm coasting and I want to be putting effort into learning #I'm going to take actual time off #I dreamt I was talking to Brandon Flowers last night #I've never been more disappointed when I woke up #and realised that didn't happen #it felt so real #I'm in such a mood to listen to 'between me and you' but PAIN

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ef-1 · 8 months

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I remember your girl edits from ages ago they were so good 😭 I can't find them anymore pleaseee the daniel one lives in my brainnnnmnnn

I posted it in 2020. How do you even remember that 🤯

here is girl!daniel from that post. i could write a dissertation about her but i wont (yet) also was conflicted about the intensity of her freckles, so here are both versions

#you cant find that post bc i deleted it #i believe max was the focal point of that post then 2 days later austria happened and i was do annoyed i nuked the post #i cant believe youve been here since i was 19 🥹❤️‍🩹#girl daniel had my HEART okay. only woman #she wore a blazer to the interview bc she wanted to be taken seriously :)#she doesn't want her hair straightened but she doesnt stop the stylist when he starts straightening it bc she wants to seem agreeable :)#later she flirts with the interviewer bc she needs to make sure he'll stick to the script :)#he eats it up :)#weaponised flirting is a honed skill she developed at the v beginning of her career :) learned how to use the smiley girl thing :)#she doesnt know how to use weaponised flirting on people she ACTUALLY likes bc girl flopism representation is still important #when ai 🤝 facetune 🤝 me combine no one is safe #2020 was such a good year for genderbending though #miss ricciardo loml also

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seraphonfire · 4 months

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i should probably get that checked

#i don't like explaining my art because like you should form your own opinions and stuff but this one is literally about my dental problems #that i am having right now as well as generally throughout my life #i have weak teeth (and bones) (that's why i can't get lip piercings though i really want to)#i had a really good dentist that i frequented before moving to a different city and it would be very difficult to see him now #and he has all my history like where i had nerves removed and all that and there's a lot and i don't remember all of it #and recently i got a gum infection #and i hoped it would go away on its own (based on nothing)#because i don't take care of myself until i have choice #maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad if i saw a dentist sooner who knows #so in the end i did see a new dentist and i was like it doesn't hurt that much it's probably not that bad #and she was like no this is actually very bad and it will take a lot of time and money to fix #i was kinda saving up for a new laptop but like that's not time sensitive unlike my teeth. i need those to eat #ive never been afraid of dentists as a kid but now their prices do fill me with dread #traditional art #my art #body horror #ink drawing

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