#'AND I'LL TALK ABOUT THEM AGAIN'
Text
I'm not an expert, I know nothing about ornithology or biology or zoology or wildlife science or animal behaviours or animal intelligence, but sometimes I think about the fact that birdwatchers in Toronto observed a raven learn how to mimic crow calls, make a nest with a crow and raise a pair of crow-raven hybrids the birdwatchers referred to as cravens and I just think. That's gotta be love, baby.
#corvids#crows#ravens#'thestuffedalligator you've talked about the cravens before-'#'AND I'LL TALK ABOUT THEM AGAIN'#10k#20k#30k
36K notes
·
View notes
Text
I really wish that "asexuals don't have to want sex but lot of them will still have it with their partner!" wasn't centered in like every asexuality acceptance post. I think it's genuinely damaging to asexuals and their relationships. A lot of us don't want sex. A lot of us are sex repulsed. A lot of us don't even wanna talk or hear about sex. A lot of us don't enjoy porn or wanna "hand out drinks at the orgy". Some of us have sexual-related trauma. Some of us are sex repulsed, not 💖✨sex repulsed but actually really cool about it✨💖
Allos are out here getting into relationships with aces and then pull a pikachu-surprise-face when their partner doesn't wanna have sex with them bc everyone constantly emphasises says how we totally will do it for them. Some of us won't. That's okay. That doesn't constantly need to be followed up with "but a lot of aces will so don't worry!!!!!" We don't have to make every post about us in a way that makes allos comfortable. It's not necessary to reassure allos at every turn that we're not all that asexual and they don't have to worry about us being different in a way they might notice. Allos need to accept and internalise that some people aren't gonna want to have sex. No terms and conditions. No "unless" "but" or "except". Just none.
#asexuality#read a post again by an ace person talking about their first queer relationship & how they thought their partner accepted them#until they realised their partner was basically just waiting for them to be like ''fine I'll do it bc *you* want it''#literally the reason I reblog so few ace positivity posts#p much all of them care more abt reassuring allos than actually being accepting
18K notes
·
View notes
Note
"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE" As someone who's been playing TWST since march and stopped going out of my way to be spoilerfree after I got stuck at Overblott!Jamil? That's honestly been one of my favorite things about it - seeing something in fanart or a comment you think is just fans joking, only for it to be canon. "The economy!", "May I also throw a tantrum?", Malleus' gargoyle thing, and... everything about Rook being my top examples.
there's a whole bit in Trey's platinum birthday card where he goes on about how he became increasingly obsessed with mustard for like a week straight until the other students held an intervention. how are you supposed to talk about this. how can you bring up something like Trey's descent into mustard obsession to the point that the other characters are worried for him without it sounding like the most obvious lolrandom "he mentioned it once and now fandom acts like he puts mustard in everything" joke. also, how can I slip this into every Twst post from now on, because I need everyone in the world to know that this is a real canon fact about Trey "I'm just an average normal guy (who sticks my hands into people's mouths and owns 20 toothbrushes and used to eat flowers off the side of the road)" Clover.
for bonus points, 1) the punchline is that he still doesn't even like mustard that much, 2) he's saying all of this to Leona, and 3) Leona is actually kind of invested in Trey's mustard story for some reason, which is the most unbelievable part of all of this to be honest. (then Trey gets distracted by a painting of the Cheshire Cat and Leona takes the opportunity to powerwalk away to freedom before they can start talking about dijon versus spicy brown or whatever and extend this bit even longer)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#platinum jacket birthday#sorry that this ended up as me just talking about trey's birthday story for...about as long as trey talked about mustard. whoops.#i have said it before and i'll say it again though#the birthday cards have the best and most insane lore and i love them#especially for trey. he wants us to believe he's just some ordinary dude SO bad but he also keeps saying shit like this.#although to be fair as soon as rook enters the building the weirdness bell curve gets immediately fubar'd#so i guess it's all relative#me any time the characters brush off the most whackadoodle bonkers nonsense: why are they not questioning...oh wait#this is a universe in which rook exists and is a real person that they know#never mind please continue
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
#fletchinder#now THIS is an angry guy. they got a big beak and now they're going to stare at you menacingly about it#you better be nice to them. look how grumpy they are#hmph!#kind of an underappreciated pokémon tbqh. route one shitmon‚ sure‚ but i think it's cute and looks cool at least#a fucking! fire bird! that isn't ho-oh or moltres. just a Normal fire bird. love this thing#hi i just edited the talonflame tags to acknowledge 2024 and now i'm here in the fletchinder tags to acknowledge new years eve#i mentioned in the talonflame tags how i'm Considering doing something for new years but that i may end up not doing anything#and ultimately i guess we'll see. it depends on what i end up doing outside the blog whether i end up having the time (or energy) for#like a new year stream or something. i would likely just end up using my own personal twitch account instead of making an ffp one#in case i never end up. using it again#I DUNNO i'll probably just keep talking about maybe doing something until the end of time and never end up doing anything
155 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it
#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin.#but for now.#I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color#and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural#and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares?#recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural#and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring#and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently#the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart#and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural#he was behind the curtain like FUCK#taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup#that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl.#they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?)#ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol#so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO#other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace#and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!''#this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell#and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins#he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home#flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish#and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
ANDREY STAMATIN
Keep a close eye on Peter. You'd become desperate and turn into a villain without him.
I spend a lot of time thinking about daniil and peter, but something just clicked into place for me with andrey. so!
I am. currently untangling this thread of thoughts about the stamatin twins and daniil and this kind of. triangle that's happening. a three fold bullet for sure, the kind of recognition-awareness-understanding where three people become one, but to step back from that. when daniil and andrey talk, there's a specific shape of peter that stands in his conversational absence. so: triangle formation. it's opposite-adjacent-complementary to daniil and peter's conversations. it all goes back to that first conversation you have with andrey. it's giving knife. love it!
bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost
#OBSESSED WITH HIM#like i was Intrigued by him but i think re reading girard made me go OH i understand you now#wild that i never connected dots between daniil 'Defeat Death' dankovsky and andrey 'Sentenced To Death In Four Countries' stamatin#the transgressive aspect to andrey was like. yeah buddy. you and daniil are reflections in that way of course. but now im like.#oh. okay! got it.#andrey was always harder for me to get a grasp on because i work better at analyzing character pairs but you cant do andrey#without some version of peter and that's three people (debatably four). thankfully. AW2 has me thinking thoughts about#characters in stacks of 5. so now i get to think new thoughts about this game#pathologic#andrey stamatin#shdhghgh classic patho dialogue with patho 2 character designs. i will do it again until we get the bachelor's route#ehdhghgh i wanted to talk about girard's triangle that's happening too but it's not quite. right.#because daniil is the mediator but the thing desired is an abstract-literal thing that all three of them are reaching for#but are unable to conceptualize without the other two in place#i'll get back to this thought later. but its like. the twin dialogue of pulling in opposite directions. but now 3 sides of the same coin#coherent recognition is achieved with. daniil. and also transformative violence as a catalyst.
184 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fun fact I used to consume a lot of Land of the Lustrous stuff.
Anyways this is one of my many Land of the Lustrous OCs, Vivianite. Mohs hardness of 1.5, dark green/blue in colour, and very old. Due to the nature of his weak composition, Vivianite can't actually do much of anything, and has had to live under very specific conditions.
Vivianite wears a tight full body uniform to hold any chipped pieces in place, and is kept in a box stuffed with loose cloth to ensure minimal damage. If he comes into contact with light, he begins to oxidize and darken, so he's kept in a windowless room with curtains over the entrance.
That's all to say he's isolated and bored. He spends much of his time inactive, but he'll jump at the opportunity for conversation if there's someone around. Certain gems visit him to chat, get guidance, or give him the recent news. A task given to some gems is to clear his room of dust, and maybe bring him some books if he's up for it.
Vivian sees himself as an older sibling/friend to many of the other gems, and as such he's very keen on providing a listening ear and giving advice where possible to those who need it. He's essentially emotional support in a can.
Other notes/details:
not all gems know Vivian exists! He's hidden away so most gems wouldn't see him unless they were actively looking for him. A lot of the older ones know about him, but the younger ones don't
Rutile is endlessly tired of having to glue him back together so often due to his softness, which is part of why he has a tighter uniform to keep all his broken pieces in place
Vivian struggles with walking, he tends to be slow and stumbly
the tanks in Vivian's room are for jellyfish. Gems who are sent to clean his room have to switch out the jellyfish too. They're there to provide a faint light source so he doesn't go completely inactive
Vivian, despite living in a box in the dark, has a lot of technical knowledge about things as a result of millennia of going through the library collection. He' a living encyclopedia and can usually offer some answers if a gem has questions on a particular subject
his internal structure is basically a lot of shards stuck together like fibers, so he does minor repairs on himself by affixing strands of his hair into empty spots. He's had his fingers repaired and replaced this way often
In the few instances where Vivian has gone outside, he has an abnormally high amount of energy as a result of his inclusions being able to work at full capacity in the light
If I remember anything else I'll add it, anyways have a good day!
#houseki no kuni#hnk#land of the lustrous#hnk fanart#hnk oc#hnk bort#not mentioned in the main post but shit man Vivianite wants to perish 😭#he's always felt like a burden as a result of his weak body‚ if it weren't for the fact he can't walk outside#he would've thrown himself into the sea to never rise again#he'd always asked Sensei if there was a way he could get stronger‚ and that's partly why he read so much in hopes to find a cure#when he heard about Phos' body getting replaced‚ he was both distraught and excited‚ because he felt so bad for Phos#but this was a way for him to become greater‚ if only he could just figure out how to guarantee it'd work (because otherwise he'd be#a burden again as they are forced to repair him and look after him through recovery)#that's also why he likes to talk with people; he can serve and assist others that way‚ he's trying to compensate for his lacking strength#tl;dr Vivianite is horrifically weak and makes up for it with his heart and mind in order to feel less bad about not being able to do more#also (unrelated) he tends to be touchy and holds people's hands/faces/hair a lot. He does this knowing the risk and he couldn't care less#also also‚ he has weird inclusions. What makes them odd is the fact that he can move them around and concentrate them in different areas#he's stiff cause he keep most of his inclusions packed in his torso‚ not his limbs. This also ensures he doesn't lose anything#by touching something and having his fingers (inevitably) flake apart#There's more but I'll save that for later. Good day ^^
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's so funny to me that the fandom has come to see Hirano as a Sasamiya promoter of sorts because while he is, it took him some time to get accustomed to the idea of them together. And while he was never a hater Sasaki's actions towards Miyano certainly used to get on his nerves.
At first he was so worried and probably even felt a little guilty because (as mentioned in the following screenshot) because the only reason why Sasaki knows which class Miya is in, is thanks to him.
But like, that's not the face of a friend that's happy to play cupid and get their two acquaintances together. Not at all, that's the face of someone who puts his sempai-kouhai relationship with Miyano over his (pseudo) friendship with Sasaki.
Hirano from the first chapters would have jailed Sasaki if he were allowed to. (And he has his reasons, Sasaki has been something since the first chapters)
Anyway, the progression of events is really interesting.
He started, quite literally, shielding Miyano from Sasaki.
Then, he came to accept their relationship.
And at the end he really was rooting for them, to the point he ended up outright lying just so Miyano could meet Sasaki and they could talk it out and confess.
#I know the point of Sasaki to Miyano is watching how their relationship develops#but I think Hirano is really important as an spectator of their relationship#everyone thought the pair was and odd couple#him too#so watching him come to terms with their relationship and finally even rooting for them is super sweet#since it shows that he let go of his prejudice (mainly against Sasaki lol)#also I love the message he leaves Sasaki#he really did his everything to give them that last little push that they so needed#and he didn't have to!!!#like two pages before that he curses them both for having never exchanged number#and still he helps them out#idk I just love to ramble about him#he gets angry easily and he lacks patience but he always does his uttermost best to help his friends#even when he isn't particularly close to miya or sasaki#the (pseudo) in pseudofriendship comes from the fact that they are som weirdos that consider each other just classmates#but that's a talk for another day#got sasamiya brainworms again#does this count as a character analysis? (lol)#Hirano might not know of relationships and social dynamics but he really cares about everyone regardless of what those people are to him#both his kohais and his classmates are people he considers precious#and people for whom he would make sacrifices#I'm sorry I just love him very much#sasaki to miyano#if Hirano Taiga has no fans I'm dead#meaning that I'll defend him till my last breath
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
god, Exceptional Risk gets me so much, this guy isnt even an avatar but the way he TALKS about the prisoners he "guarded" is far more chilling than any of the supernatural shit
#the magnus archives#some of yall online still talk about people this way....#'oooh they did the worst crimes so its totally okay for guards to beat them and torture them and murder them'#ive said before and i'll say it again. its not ABOUT whether they 'deserve' it#its about whether YOU deserve to do that sort of violence to someone who is completely at your mercy#its about what that does to a person and a society#and its about how dangerous a precedent it sets#to be able to completely unperson someone.#human rights HAVE to be unalienable or they arent rights
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
hiccup and astrid only works for me if they're written as foils. Hiccup is a soft hearted pacifist who has to learn to make tough calls. Astrid is a hard core warrior who has to learn compassion. they both admire the other for their strengths, and by some combination of striving to be more like each other, and hitting the breaks when one of them goes too far in one direction, they manage to meet in the middle and work really well together
#astrid makes sure Hiccup doesn't let people get away with misusing his trust#and Hiccup makes sure Astrid doesn't burn every bridge ever over issues that could be solved#httyd#vitpost#hiccstrid#im watching the show again and I straight up can't get over how much better it handles their dynamic compared to the movies#could it be that I spent more time with the show versions of them in between waiting for the movies#and so got attached to that characterization which led me to misinterpret the original depiction of their relationship? maybe.#but also not rly because the dynamic im talking about is very much present in the first film and then further supported#by the Gift of the Night Fury short#so really it just feels like the second film didn't rly know what to do with Astrid and kind of sidelined her#and then by the third movie they'd forgotten her personality too#They're Cute in the movies though I'll give them that. but that does not satisfy the aroace viewer :)#I need them to Make Sense too
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to share the absolute fucking Experience i had playing minecraft tonight. i'm gonna be emotional about it for days
so me and my friends like to play on this server that's pretty much just a bunch of minigames. one of them is Murder Mystery - of a group of - i think its 13/14 people - one person is randomly selected as the murderer (spawns with a sword), the other as the sheriff (spawns with a bow). the rest are innocent. the innocents can gain a bow by collecting coins. no one knows anyone's status unless the player shows their sword/bow. i'm doing a quest where, in order to get points, i need to kill the murderer.
so as the game start countdown begins, me and my pal are checking out this Red Link skin. it's pretty neat! we're all crouching and punching at each other, as one does. i feel a connection form with Red Link. we're buddies now. we're in this together.
so we're all running around the map. every time i see Red Link, we crouch and punch at each other. the game is going fine, we're having fun. i'm delighted that i've made a one-game friend.
then my friend says that Red Link is the murderer, and i literally have a hard time believing it. Red Link? my Red Link? no, they must be mistaken. we were together at the start. they had ample opportunities to kill me. it can't be Red Link. but whoever the murderer killed was the sheriff, and i needed to complete the quest - picking up the sheriff tombstone grants me the bow.
so i run, trying to find it, and i turn the corner.
there Red Link was, standing at the end of the hall, by the tombstone, with a sword in hand. i froze. i was so upset - not Red Link! not my dear companion! i was so sure that was it.
but i walked forward anyway, thinking that maybe if i dodged around them, grabbed the bow, and turned and shot fast enough, i could get them. the thought was actually distressing! Red Link didn't put the sword away. they watched me slowly approach. we stood on either side of the tombstone, and i expected Red Link to cut me down. i was well within reach of their sword.
Red Link calmly, still looking at me, moved to the side and past me. i panicked and grabbed the bow, ran to the corner, turned and drew - Red Link was already at the other end of the hall, running away. i didn't want to shoot, but i needed the kill - who knows when i'd get an opportunity to complete the quest again. it's a tough one.
i missed, thank fuck, but man. i was in shock. i thought i was a goner.
then, after the game where awards are given - the murderer, who killed them, who collected the most coins - i went up to Red Link and crouched. they crouched back.
then they left the game.
#IM STILL WAILING#you know those movies/shows where a character befriends a dangerous wild animal / monster#and later the monster goes on a killing spree#but then it stops before killing the character that was kind to it. and spares them.... yeah.... this felt like that#it felt wild as fuck#ive never had that happen... kindness is real....#red link if you're out there. i'll think of you fondly and often#the joy turned disbelief turned betrayal turned shock turned bittersweet euphoria#i knew that id never see them again... i was right...#but yes. this felt Important. i needed to share!!!#i was very emotional!! as my buddies can attest!!!#i talked about it until we said Goodnight!#absolutely unprompted#the relief i felt when my arrow missed...#i wished them luck in my head! even though i knew they'd probably die!#what would have happened if they hadnt i Wonder#what if i was the last one alive. would Red Link have killed me then? questions that will never be answered...#oh yes also one of my friends was also there for the Hallway Showdown and was spared#but! i will be honest! i tunnel visioned so hard that the entire world came down to me. that tombstone. and my dearest Red Link.
70 notes
·
View notes
Photo
guys wake up new C coloring pic just dropped <333 have some teefs i drew awhile ago that i probably never posted here
#this was a banger drawing and C made it so much cooler with the paint splatter ty for the addition#also it makes me happy to hear you like how i draw nero bc. i dont know how to draw him actually ahsdghkajd hes very hard to draw#anyway. sparda chompers supremacy. these boys have sharp teeth and they WILL bite someone with them#devil may cry#dante(dmc)#vergil(dmc)#nero(dmc)#fan's colorings#everything from here on out is directed at C bc i have no other ways to talk to them so you guys can stop reading here <3#hey C! i actually didnt see what your first submission was bc i didnt even receive it lmao#but i just want to say that you dont have to worry about anything; what i said the other day wasnt directed at you at all#i do enjoy the little stories you have whenever your submit things; they seem to be pretty personal stories and i appreciate that you trust#me enough to tell me about them.#if you'd feel better not sharing any more that's fine! i'm never going to mention anything in them anywhere regardless#i'll just keep posting your colorings as usual for everyone to see and appreciate :)#hope you have a great day C! and thanks again for always coloring my stuff!#allyart
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
so we know you love diasomnia endlessly, but who is your favorite character from each of the other dorms
this is SO hard to answer, because so many of the characters are, like, those pet adoption ads that say "MUST STAY TOGETHER, CANNOT BE SEPARATED". it's all about the relationship dynamics! and I think everybody in the main cast is pretty neat, honestly; there isn't anyone who doesn't have something I really like about them. but if I haaaaad to choose...
Hearts - Trey, partly because I do like me a good Mom Friend™ character, and partly because he pretends like he's all sane and normal, right up until he does something to prove he's just as much of a dipshit as everyone else. you're not immune, sir.
Savana - BUFF 👏 TSUNDERE 👏 WEREWOLF 👏
Octa - this one took a lot of soul-searching, because I do feel like the Octatrio is at their very best when it's all three of them, especially when they're in full Ed Edd n Eddy mode. but in the end, Jade ekes out a win, because sometimes you get this Jade:
and then when he gets back from his nice mushroom-foraging hike, you get this Jade:
Scara - Kalim, my sweet little moron. such a good heart, so few braincells.
Pome - 90% of the time when Rook shows up, you know it's going to a be fun time watching a silly little man dance around and break into song for no reason and wax poetic about the beauty of, like, a chair. always a delight!
except every once in a while, he'll bust out something that is absolutely insane even by Twst standards:
this isn't a complaint, it's just. why is he like this. I want to study him under a microscope, except I'm afraid of what I might find.
Igni - MUST STAY TOGETHER! CANNOT BE SEPARATED! ...but I would probably go with Ortho, just because right now I'm pretty invested in his Learning Emotions story arc and looking forward to seeing it progress. he's a good boy who will post your cringe fanfic publicly if you annoy him
...and at this point I'm calling technicality because the ask says "other dorms", and I genuinely do not think I could choose between the Dia boys at this point. let's see how episode 7 goes first!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 6 spoilers#long post#obligatory disclaimer that this is my own personal opinion et cetera#what it comes down to is that i'm going to love EVERYBODY and you can't stop me!#it REALLY is all about the dynamics though#i don't talk about them as much but i really do love the riddle-trey-cater and riddle-trey-che'nya friendships especially#and i KNOW i've talked about idia and lilia being unintentional bffs before#and i'm going to stop here before i just start listing off every possible character interaction and why i like it#what up it's a day ending in y which means i got feelings about anime characters again#sorry this is somehow even less coherent than usual#i was like 'i'll do a couple of drawings for this' and then looked up and it was 4 am somehow#this keeps happening dagnabbit
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
like... i personally have friends whose loved ones are in ukraine. ive seen firsthand how the war in ukraine has traumatized and terrified them despite being safe here in so-called canada. they can't sleep at night because they are worried sick about the people they love. they are a shell of their former selves. the invasion of ukraine isn't some abstract thing for you to use as a rhetorical device, it isn't a fucking team sport, it isn't a joke for you to own the libs with or whatever, it's a real thing that affects real human lives. i have a profound disgust for people who speak of the war which such callous disregard.
#my barber's family is in eastern europe. some of them are in ukraine#i'll never forget the look he gave me the week after the invasion started#im about to cry in the middle of this coffee shop lmao#we talked about it again yesterday (as well as gaza) while he was cutting my hair and i almost burst into tears#💔💔💔#i know it's corny but like.... i just want there to be peace on earth!
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
decided to do a little "return to form" with some silly pixel art!! :3
i don't remember what possessed me to draw these two specifically hanging out but whatever, it was fun! i had fun!!!
alt version where he's rambling about the weird fucked up polycule situation he put himself in lol
#i'll talk about the “polycule” thing some other time cuz i have a lot of thoughts about the three of them#but for now that little triangle chart is good enough#every so often i go “aw i love doing pixel art its so satisfying why did i stop doing it?”#and then it smash cuts to eighteen and a half hours later and you see me staring at my computer screen with sunken bloodshot eyes#and the most insane case of shrimp posture ever exhibited by a human being#erasing and then replacing the same two goddamn pixels trying to figure out what the hell i'm doing wrong here for it to look so off#and then i zoom out to discover i've been tracing over the worst piece of shit sketch ever crafted by human hands#and so i set my PC on fire in shame and crawl back into my burrow#vowing never to do pixel art ever again#and then like 8 month pass and i go “aw i love doing pixel art its so satisfying why did i stop doing it?” and the cycle repeats itself#/hj#the amazing world of gumball#tawog#gumball watterson#tbh creature#autism creature#my art#gumball tawog#tawog gumball#gumball#tawog fanart#tawog fan art#fan art#pixel art#colored lineart#colored line art#yippee
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wonder if the toa mata recognized themselves in their own memories from before mata nui.
I dont know, i think theres possibilities to be explored about that. Suddenly remembering yourself and what you find being a complete stranger is a common thing for amnesia plots i guess but also i think this could be even more jarring. Like a more genuine difference between killing machine and living being.
Its less a matter of nature vs nurture and more a matter of nature with a certain type of nurture. Nature dictates they are powerful and driven and well meaning, but the way they are brought up produces completely different people.
Their first taste of life was a sterile room with nobody but each other and a disembodied voice reading out their duties, establishing an arbitrary hierarchy within them, and then sending them to a glorified bootcamp where a ruthless instructor worked on making them into skilled combatants and nothing else, teaching them how to use their elements as tools and weapons without indulging in them; they got a vague sense of what and how a community feels like with the Av-Matoran - as outsiders, as its protective shield, there for them but not with them - only to get that stripped away from them too because their role as life saving tools to be preserved under glass just in case of a crisis was more important.
I wonder if the Toa Mata, the ones who were taken to the Koro of Mata Nui and listened to the Turaga's tales and reprimands and would have moved mountains for the Matoran who treated them like older siblings, return with their minds to things they said or thought or did from before the Island of Mata Nui and stop in their tracks. Whose memory is that, they think? That can't be mine. I am not like that. My siblings are not like that. Some things are perfectly right, they cant deny that; but just as many if not more are so wrong that they almost feel like a really cruel joke somebody planted into their heads.
Kopaka and Tahu got along, even if they dont want to admit it because they need to bicker like children or theyll die, but are more surprised that they werent as tentatively close with anybody else. Lewa remembers so much frustration and tedium and anger that if he stalls in his memories too much he genuinely starts feeling queasy, Pohatu has remnants of bitterness and passive aggression that still cling to him like the smell of a cigarette on someone who gave up smoking, and they both hate that because its nothing like them. Onua and Gali feel like theyre peering into some kind of imperfect clone's brain when they try to remember - its themselves, they know that, it has to be, but there are certain things they know about themelves that are just completely missing and its kind of dizzying to realize that.
Im not even sure they liked each other. They work together because its their destiny, but they don't seem to seek each other out for fun or anything else. In their training days they had to be shoved in each others direction or they would have never solved their obligatory group assignments.
I wonder if their terrors and flaws could partially come from this first life that they had too. Gali's fear of her anger and Lewa's disregard for duty stemming from Hydraxon's methods - she internalized his reprimands about feeling guilt for living enemies, but without any memory of him she believes the words resurfacing in her mind from time to time are her own, and is appalled by their cruelty; he was forbidden from enjoying himself, from indulging in any form of fun, of entertainment, of joy, and unconsciously now he rebels by shirking away from responsability to do whatever he wants.
The responses to Tahu's decision regarding the codrex haunt him, the whole situation, really; how he stripped his siblings of any say on their fate because he was the leader, not even telling them or explaining himself until they had no other choice, and if he could treat them like that once then what would stop him from doing so again and again until he doesnt even think about it? Kopaka is uneasy about it too. He knew the plan and supported Tahu only because he tagged along, but hes very, very acutely aware that he would have been left just as much in the dark as everybody else otherwise, and he would gave not even had anybody to seek any comfort from because hes fairly certain none of the others would have liked him enough to care.
Onua as @cantankerouscanuck pointed out to me mightve taken Hydraxon's teachings to heart, hence why he's so quiet: no use in expressing weakness, right? But karda nui must have been hellish on his senses, with all that light - a tangible physical discomfort that would bleed out into an emotional one as he becomes conscious of how none of his siblings go through this, thus he must be damaged in some way, faulty, out of place, and so he seeks to be alone, digging himself away. And its not hard to imagine how Pohatu (who hasnt had the chance to grow into the affable, kind toa his siblings can always lean on when they need to yet) would become convinced of his uselessness within the team and seethe about it.
They arrive on Mata Nui as broken war machines with no clue who they even are and suddenly find nature and community and love, and in a moment theyre people.
I wonder if the environment helped. Being thrown upon a beach in the open air with nothing but a whole world that is so alien and yet feels so right beckoning them to come closer. Discovering their powers and their domains freely, immediately - first thing they did was dive into their respective elements without a second thought, naturally magnetized, taking after them like it was the simplest thing in the world, because they are the first toa, the first beings capable of harnessing these powers in their whole universe, and its in their nature to be so connected to them. Maybe it helped. Maybe it made them feel connected to their own selves enough to figure themselves out in a way they couldnt have done so before.
Maybe it helped to find out their collective destiny each on their own, in their own environment, at their own pace, surrounded by younger siblings who look at them with awe and curiosity and frustration sometimes, guided by people who know how being alive works with all its good parts and messy bits and who can tell what having so much power means when youre barely aware of how to use it or what to do. And maybe it helped to find out who their siblings were in a similar way, introducing themselves as they wanted, as they felt like, without a specific order, and learning to recognize each other as siblings with all the things that make them insufferable and all the things that make them the best and what makes them happy and what makes them angry and how they sound when theyre worried and how likely they are to chase you down to the other edge of the island for doing something stupid, and like real people they grow and develop and change and stay the same, and then they meet the memory of themselves from before becoming people and its...
Idk. Its like the realization of who they used to be and the distance between themselves and those selves, and the fact that they dont like them.
#bionicle#toa mata#random talks#oh my god finally it shows up in tags. i had to email support and they still couldnt do anything for the previous version#sorry for the One Guy who liked the previous versions i swear I'll stop now that it finally works#but yea. many thoughts not necessarily coherent or well explained but i tried#i think of gali working alone and pohatus passive aggressiveness and lewa threatening to chew out tahu once they awake again#(i think of lewa being the first one to hear tahu laugh on mata nui)#i wonder if they sometimes acted or said something that made them look and sound and feel like before their stasis#and if it made them wince and hush uncomfortably or if they pushed through it despite the discomfort#i wonder if they talked about this. any of this. even if it wasnt pleasant.
72 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
patchesnpins
ghost town
vampirerosearin
"Bitch, you better be joking."
dineson66
Dines On 66
xsatoru
✩ ezralia, satoru's star girl ✩
darumysa
Darumysa