Aerin drabble 4, pre chapter 7, Deadwood (cw blood, self harm)
Sometimes, Aerin imagines he can still see the shadow tracing over his skin.Β
The lines are stark against his pale flesh, mapping the veins and arteries up his forearms. He can almost feel the foreboding tingle, the presence of magic and danger starting at his palms and emanating upwards to center in his chest, a flash hot burn that makes him shake and shiver.
It awakens him from dreams, nightly, soaked in a cold sweat, as his gasps break the silence of the pitch black night.
It distracts him in front of the fire, where his gaze fixes on the shadows that edge toward his tunic sleeve, voices of the heroes bantering around him falling into a meaningless buzz in his ears.
It makes him terrified that the shadow, the darkness, had been there all along, as much a part of him as the blood running through his veins and the Valleros name.
He's scrubbing his arms when she catches him, nails feverishly digging into his skin as he prays to any god who will listen to one as sullied as him - please, I got rid of the corruption, please, I'm sor-.
"What are you doing?" Raine blinks down at him, where he has crouched at the shore of the lake of light, a feeble penance amid hallowed ground.
"Nothing," he lies, pulling down his sleeves to cover the thin trails of blood smeared over flesh.Β
She sits next to him, trailing her fingers into the water; it's a companionable silence. He's just about to flee, to try to put some distance between her and himself (whether to save her from the shadow or to save himself from the pull of the unattainable, he can't say which) when she speaks again. "Have you thought of what you will do? Once the rifts are all closed?"
He gapes at her. "Go back to my prison cell?"
"Hmm." Her gaze reaches out to the far shore, past the horizon, further than he could ever hope to see. "Is that what you want to happen?"
He can't risk glancing down, but he can feel the telltale singing beneath his skin again. "What I want is of no importance." It's what I deserve.Β
She hums again, in the back of her throat, finally turning her gaze to him. The glow of the water illuminates her sparkling eyes and, crossing her arms atop her knees, she looks almost regal. "I think-" She bites her lip, considering him. "I think you will find that the good you can do now, in the present, and the future⦠it means something."
"I cannot make up for my past."
"But you can shape your future."
He shakes his head. His future is already set, a solitary cage, an eternity of regret. He had already tried to change his future once and has no hope of it, not anymore.
"Aerinβ¦" He looks down in shock to where she has grabbed his hand, warm fingers clasped around his. There are still traces of blood drying around his fingernails, but the surrounding skin is clear, unblemished. No shadow. It's as if all bends to her will, ominous powers vanishing into the mist under the force of her light; he can feel even himself soften against the sandy shore. She squeezes his hand. "I believe in you."
He squeezes back, tentative at first, but she doesn't pull away and the tension leeches from his body. It's just her, and him, and the lake, and the only shadows are the ones that curl over the ground as the moon arches through the sky.
And that night, tucked away in his tent, the only tingling in his palm is the ghost of her touch, and he sleeps.
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Oh, I'm so excited...
This is a project that I worked on for 2 months straight, and it's a birthday gift for the wonderful, absolutely lovely @bionysian π It's the strangest, loveliest, most rewarding thing I've ever written and I'm so very proud of it β€οΈ Thank you B, for being such a wonderful muse β€οΈ
Read here, although please read the author's note very carefully, as this fic is intentionally very sparsely tagged! β€οΈ
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Dean watching Cas talk about something overcome with how smitten he is, fully not processing anything Cas is saying just going mmhm yeah yes totally, his head repeating cas kissing cas mouth mouth pink cas love him kiss Cas. So he doesn't even really notice himself leaning in and doing it until Cas pulls away and goes "um. ?" and Dean's brain clicks back on at 100 miles per hour. He says "I um. I didn't..." he looks around and sees Sam's bug eyed surprised face bc he was there this whole time bc it was just a normal conversation. Dean says "I just gotta. Um. I'll see you around." And fucking legs it.
Cas and Sam are left in awkward, confused silence. Cas puts his hand up to his mouth and, after a beat, asks "is the formation of rock pools really so stimulating?" (Bc that's what he'd been talking about) and Sam's halfway through saying "I have no clue, man," when Dean bursts back into the room, grabs Casβs face and kisses him thoroughly because, fuck it, if he's going to have to deal with how awkward he's just made things he may as well have a kiss he can remember out of it.
Obviously, Cas gives as good as he gets, and Sam's like (amused) "okay I guess we'll talk later" as he makes his escape. Dean, with his hand already making its way up under Casβs shirt, calls "much later. Next year, Sammy" (Cas kisses his neck) "next DECADE."
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