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icey--stars · 1 year

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Stories To Be Told: PART 11

Series Index

A shadowsinger, a warrior, an Illyrian, that's what she was. Trained by one of the most formidable female warriors. Escaped the Illyrian camps and her clipping when she was barely sixteen and is now the holder of 6 siphons. What happens when she tries to sneak into the City of Starlight? And starts down a whole new road of chaos?

a/n: mentally prepare yourselves. this one HURT to write. but ive never written anything trauma-wise better than this.

WARNINGS: TRAUMA AHEAD. VERY BAD TRAUMA. NOT REALLY ANYTHING SPECIFIC I CAN WARN YOU OF BUT THIS IS INTENSE.

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

I dressed that morning in my best under clothes, cleaning the leather collar around my neck, and gathering a majority of my daggers besides one or two around my bed.

I opened the door and as I walked to the balcony, with only my small bag resting between my wings, I saw Azriel dressed similarly.

“Ready?” He asked. “We’ll fly out of the wards here and then I’ll winnow us to Windhaven.”

I took a deep breath and let my shadows flow over my shoulders. “Ready as I can be,” I said before taking off into the air.

Azriel followed me, wings beating against the dewy air.

As soon as I felt the wards slide off, I flapped in place. Azriel offered out his scarred hand, and I grabbed on.

Then I was taken through the shadows, and into a war camp.

Windhaven was smaller, and must’ve known what to expect with Azriel because they didn’t bat an eye. They did, however, stare at me in curiosity.

Azriel led me to a small home in the residential area of the camp, opening the door. “This is where we will stay. There’s a bedroom upstairs and three down that hallway. I stay in one of them. You can take Cassian’s down there, or Rhys’s upstairs.”

I nodded. “I’ll take Rhysand’s.”

Azriel dipped his head and then went down the hallway. I went upstairs, ignoring the scents in the home and the ones tied to the bed in the small room. I hid a couple extra daggers on me while I could. Two down my forearms, two more at my hip beside my sword, and then one down my inner thigh, which was small, but I’d made sure it was extremely sharp.

I made it before Azriel to the main area of the little house. It was small, but I’d stayed in worse at Inns. “Great, let’s fly. Just so you can winnow here should anything go wrong,” Azriel spoke. “Try not to kill anyone.”

I chuckled. “Unless they’re trying to kill me,” I said.

Azriel let a small smile onto his face at that and then opened the door to lead us outside.

He locked the door behind us, and then we shot into the air, banking southwest. I drafted off of Azriel to the left, following his lead when he ascended or descended.

The air wasn’t exceptionally cold anymore luckily, so the two hour flight wasn’t that bad.

When we landed though, everything took a turn downhill. Azriel stayed at my side, merely a bodyguard like Rhysand had told me.

My childhood torturer was walking right up to us, flanked by his own guards.

“Ah! The rogue, the Escaped, she lives!” Ambroz exclaimed as soon as he was close enough. I grit my teeth. “I’m glad to have you here,” the lord said.

I put up a wall between my shadows and threatening trauma responses like I would with protecting my mind.

“Hello,” I regarded. Guarded.

“Ah, don’t be nervous! You’ve got that shadowsinger behind you. You’re already covered in his inky blackness, so you’ve nothing to fear. I mean no harm to you,” Ambroz said.

I rolled my eyes. “First things first, Ambroz,” I growled. “I don’t trust you even for a single second. Second of all, these are my shadows. You let a powerful female run off into those woods Ambroz.”

“You’ll refer to me as Lord,” Ambroz snapped.

I rolled my eyes. “I have long since given up on calling you a lord, Ambroz. You don’t deserve it for what you did.”

“I did nothing. I’m glad to see you are just as powerful as I predicted,” he redirected.

“Predicted?” I snapped, wings mantling higher.

“Yes, of course. Your mother was quite the little wonder, and what better pairing than that of a pure Illyrian male who was also powerful? A lord?”

I tensed. “What are you saying Ambroz?”

“I’m saying that I’ve invited you to apologize to my daughter for the way I treated you,” Ambroz replied.

I snarled, unable to hold it back. One hand trailed down my thigh toward a dagger I had stashed there. “I will never be your daughter.”

“Ah, but you are sweetheart. And I must make sure that my daughter understands that her father cares for her,” Ambroz said. The fool was proud. “6 siphons? Impressive! And no bastard genes in you! Even a shadowsinger… oh what wonderful things we can do together daughter. We could rule all of Illyria.”

Azriel stepped in now. “Ambroz, I wouldn’t suggest you even try. You forget how powerful your High Lord is. How powerful the general is. How powerful I am.”

Ambroz chuckled. “I’m aware, spymaster. But let me dream, alright?” Azriel just huffed and rolled his eyes

I also rolled my eyes. Inside, I was panicking even more than I was before at the sight of him. “I’m not easy to forgive, Ambroz.”

“Oh, but don’t worry, I’m even better at making it up to you. Now, how about we head over to my place, and sit in front of a warm fire, and you tell me what you’ve been up to all these years!”

I narrowed my eyes, glancing back at Azriel for a moment, who betrayed no information or opinion on what I should do.

“Oh don’t worry, your little bodyguard can come too. Surprising you’ve gotten it on so well with the High Lord. I’m impressed,” Ambroz said as he walked closer, pivoting and flinging out a wing behind me to lead me forward. Azriel didn’t do anything, but I remained tense, unable to relax. “Now come along daughter, there are stories to be told!”

I had no choice but to follow blindly in the shadow of Ambroz’s wing. I wrung out my hands before we entered Ambroz’s residence. One I’d never seen the inside of, but knew to stay the hell away from. I closed my eyes a split second, taking a deep breath to try and calm my panic, and focus on the mission. The plan I'd made with Azriel. I had to follow through with it, I told myself.

Ambroz led me to sit down on an armchair, pinning my wings against my back. Azriel stole a stool from somewhere nearby and sat beside me while Ambroz took the couch.

“So! Tell me what you did after you escaped that night,” Ambroz said. “Tell me everything. I want to know why you carry so many weapons! Do you know how to use them?”

“Why do you deserve to know my story?” I questioned, trying to seem unaffected by the change of scenery. “Nobody knows it besides the one who passed.”

“I’m your father, I wish to know how my daughter has been, that’s all,” Ambroz said. “You wouldn’t want to leave me high and dry, right? Your little spymaster beside you could always leave if you don’t want him hearing.”

Azriel scoffed at the wording, spreading out his body as much as possible, taking up more space. I knew it was some male dominance thing, as I saw Ambroz doing the same.

“Well?” Ambroz prompted. “Let’s start with how you got that siphon of yours that night!”

“I stole it,” I answered, averting my gaze. That night, had been the most fear I'd ever felt. And I'd avoided it ever since.

“Good, then my execution was properly placed. You shouldn’t have been able to get a siphon, and that damned distributor had too soft of a heart. How about after that?” My heart ached slightly. That old male seemed to like me, especially when I told him about the forest.

“I killed,” I replied. “I killed and killed. That’s what you wanted to know, right? I spent my time in the forest- killing each and every male sent after me. And then the Raven, from the War, yes, trained me.”

“The Raven? That’s interesting. How did you two meet? That old witch is still around, yeah?”

It took everything in me to not lift a lip in a snarl. “She found me, and yes, she is,” I lied. Every bit of that sentence was a lie. Every. Single. Word. Ambroz deserved nothing.

“Oh, is she back getting it on with the High Lord?”

I snarled. “No. She’s not in the court borders.”

“Ah, that’s disappointing. I’d have loved to meet her,” Ambroz chuckled. “So, could you beat the male beside you with that sword you have?”

I didn’t reply.

“Oh well,” Ambroz sighed. “Are you staying with your brother?”

“No,” I said shortly. My patience was already growing thin. I knew how to make him come clean for his crimes, but I didn’t know if I could even last long enough to make sure it worked. “How are my friends?” I asked. “After you clipped them, I never saw them again. I’d rather like to see Emily again.”

“She’s working in Windhaven, actually! You and I could visit. I’ve heard she’s had quite a few young,” Ambroz hummed. “Yes, that’d be a good father-daughter activity. Visiting old friends!”

“No, I don’t want to visit with you,” I cut him short. “Emily was my friend.”

Ambroz paused, but then nodded. “Very well then. Tell me about your training then. I’m curious.”

“I’d rather like to keep it a secret.”

“Oh, pish posh. I won’t tell a soul.”

“No,” I growled.

Ambroz rolled his eyes. “Too much attitude on you. Where’d this confidence come from? And so rude! You need to be set straight some time.”

“I’m only rude because I don’t like you,” I replied. “I can be as polite as I want. You aren’t someone I even try with.”

Ambroz met my eyes, then tore it away with anger glinting in his gray irises. “So, did you ever ask Merle who your father was?”

“No. Illyrians hook up all the time.”

Ambroz chuckled. “I’ll give you that. Me and your mother liked each other.”

I rolled my eyes. “How is this relevant?”

“Well, I suppose it is our family history,” he replied. “Now, let me get something.”

He stood up, walking toward the kitchen. He came back holding a small box and held it out for me. I took it hesitantly.

He motioned for me to open it and when I did, there were long dangly amethyst crystal earrings. A gift. An offering.

“I don’t wear jewelry like this,” I said.

“Nonsense, you can wear whatever you like. Try them on,” He urged.

“I’d rather not.”

“Come on, don’t be stubborn.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning back into the chair and setting the box of earrings on the table beside the armchair. “Look, Ambroz, I’m not going to accept gifts from you. I can’t trust you.”

“You’re my daughter, why would I ever hurt you?”

“Why did you try to clip me then?” I countered. “That counts as hurting. That counts as more, actually. You tried to permanently injure your own daughter.”

“It was custom,” Ambroz argued. “I couldn’t exactly not. Plus, I must demand obedience, no matter who you are.”

“Do you still do it now?” I asked. “Do you still whip females for entertainment? Do you still clip them? Still shame them? Still abuse the mothers? I’ve seen it all Ambroz. I know what you’ve done.”

Ambroz chuckled lowly. “You’ve got a mouth. I do it for obedience, like I said.”

My shadows raised up, anger filling me. “And you think you’re some god.”

“I’m a lord. It’s a prestigious position I take seriously. And being a lord, includes making sacrifices.”

Azriel cut in at just the right moment before I leapt out of my seat with daggers drawn and ripped Ambroz to shreds. “Ambroz,” he said, just a simple warning. “Unless you want to be ripped apart, I suggest you count your blessings and watch your words.”

I felt the lethal fury rise higher in my veins.

Ambroz replied to Azriel, “I’ve been given many blessings, spymaster. My daughter is one of them, so let me deal with her as I wish to. If you can’t handle it, leave.”

I was tense. I knew this part of the plan. Anger Ambroz so much he asks Azriel to leave so that he can deal with me. I tried not to shake in terror at the thought of being left alone with this male.

“I’ll be outside,” Azriel simply said before he walked out of the room.

I faced Ambroz. The male stood up. I did as well.

Then Ambroz slapped me, and put a hand over my mouth to stop the sudden yelp.

“Listen here female, you be absolutely quiet. I’m done with your bullshit,” Ambroz said with cold fury.

My eyes widened in fear, and then I nodded. Ambroz removed his hand.

“Abuse of a family member is prohibited by Night Court law,” I said, voice shaking. “No matter who.”

Then I drew a dagger.

Ambroz suddenly grabbed my wing and pulled. I dropped my dagger in absolute shock.

I yelled, trying to get away. I desperately went for my other knives, but he caught my hand. I prayed Azriel could hear us. I had felt wards as I came in here.

“Silly little thing. You think I care?” Ambroz chuckled. “I plan to finish the job.”

Then he took my dagger from my hip and the dagger went to my throat while his other hand held my right wing. I scrabbled against him desperately as he pinned me with his feet on top of mine to move the dagger toward my wing.

“You shall be clipped. And then the High Lord won’t care about you anymore.”

I let out a choked scream, “AZRIEL!”

I tried to focus enough to use my shadows as physical beings, something I used with Rainne, but it didn’t work, and the knife was getting closer to my wing. I couldn’t breathe, and I felt real, genuine terror flood through me.

I folded my shadows around myself, winnowing to the kitchen, banging against wards just at the door and averting. Ambroz was brought with me. I couldn’t winnow through the wards with him holding me so tightly. It had to be done alone. I choked on spit, knees collapsing under me.

Then Azriel burst into the room.

I looked over at him, begging for help. The knife made contact with my wing. I screamed, silent. There was no air. I saw black spots, I felt my mind failing, my body failing.

Then I was free and I scrambled away to bang against a cabinet. I heard shouting and the sounds of fighting, but I couldn’t focus on anything. I felt trapped. I was still choking. My wing hurt, and my soul was screaming out. I was shaking so hard, and the whispers of my shadows in my ears- I couldn’t even focus on them.

I opened my eyes, seeing Ambroz in a death lock with Azriel. I crawled, trying to make it outside. Away. Away, I begged myself. Ambroz leapt towards me, stabbing me in my thigh. “Stupid bitch, you aren’t escaping me!”

I whimpered, adrenaline so high. I just continued crawling. The dagger ripped into my skin more. Then the hand that held it was cut clean off. And I desperately made a run for the outside, sobbing.

I couldn’t hear anything over the roaring in my ears. Everything hurt. Everything felt wrong.

I managed to get up on my feet, stumbling until I made it into the forest, running with tears soaking my face. The dagger was still in my thigh, so I ripped it out, crying out in pain, still limping farther into the forest. I didn’t dare look at my wing. I didn’t want to face the potential truth. I kept running, not stopping. I couldn’t stop, they’d catch me. I made it to a familiar glen I recognized. I ran into the bushes, stumbling on a root and landing heavily.

I sobbed, curling into myself against the wet dirt. I couldn’t breathe, but I wasn’t safe. I wasn’t far enough. I couldn’t-

I winnowed, I winnowed to the safest place I knew of.

There was a pile of stones in the center of the cave, and a waterfall blocking the entrance. I sobbed, curling in the corner.

Y/N

There was a whisper. A whisper from a shadow I didn’t recognize.

Y/N, where are you?

I whimpered, my lungs too tight to try and manage a response. Why was this shadow here? Where did it come from? I didn’t know, so I just curled up tighter, ignoring its increasingly more desperate cries for my location and state.

I sobbed, shaking and bleeding and feeling so utterly wrong.

“Rainne, Rainne, please help,” I begged, despite knowing no help would come. I glanced at the pile of stones and just sobbed again, trying to hide away from the world.

Y/N! PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE! The shadow now yelled.

I sobbed at the sharp tone. I couldn’t gather my thoughts.

“Her grave,” I sobbed out, wanting it all to stop, holding a hand to my bleeding thigh. The shadow left. I still felt like I was choking. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t stop this feeling. I wasn’t in control.

All I felt was that knife, that dagger at my throat and the hand on my wing. And then the ropes and the wood from those wooden poles. Rough hands holding mine still, and the voice, the voice of a male I wished to kill but at the same time wished I could just stay away from.

I cried out as a jerk against the choking sent my wing banging hard against the walls of the cave, scraping in a way that was just too much. My leathers were choking me, and the sleeves of my shirt were rubbing against my skin. It was too much! My throat hurt, my vision was fading in and out and the sounds of my sobs echoing in the cave hurt my ears.

I released my injury on my thigh and instead put my hands over my ears after undoing the buckles on my shoulders.

The choking didn’t stop even as it faded. I tore off my leather collar of siphons and flung it across the cave. I held my shirt far from my chest as I took desperate breaths. It helped some, but I could feel, hear and smell everything. It was overwhelming.

The voice came back. We’re going to clip you. You shall be clipped. You’re nothing but a breeder.

I screamed, tearing at my face desperately to try and make it stop. I raised myself off the ground and banged my head against the ground. My logic was that if I could knock myself out, it would stop. Everything would stop. Everything would quit.

I felt my vision go black at a particularly hard hit and then I fell to the floor, crying, choking and then- blackness. Quiet. Darkness.

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

TAGLIST (see post for getting added)

@mis-lil-red, @bunnymallowo, @judig92, @biblophilefox82, @azzydaddy, @thegirlintheshadows101, @whatupmydudes01, @feyres-fireheart, @elizarikaallen, @xenlynn, @panzees-bizarre-adventures, @starswholistenanddreamsanswered, @baebeepeach, @nyctophiliiiiaaa, @brekkershadowsinger, @officiallyunofficialperson, @bookslut420

#azriel #azriel x reader #azrielxreader #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #mywriting

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tragiclilb · 2 years

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☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ Home ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾

(Alex finally finds home on the road)

(Warnings: angst? Maybe fluff idk, making out)

(Words: 2077)

。 * ・゚★ 。* ・゚☆ 。* ・゚★ 。* ・゚☆

“I’m so excited!” My friend squealed from my side as she handed our tickets to the booth lady.

“I never thought they would come here.” She grins as we find our seats.

“Who are we seeing again? I mean we’re front row I feel like I should at least know.” I question, giggling to myself.

“Arctic monkeys.” She smiles, shaking her head at my forgetfulness. “I’m gonna grab us some drinks I’ll be back.” She says, heading to the extremely over priced bar.

I pull out my phone to look up some of their music, just so if I like it I’ll know which song is which after the performance. Once she heads back, the lights start to dim and the band walks out. People start screaming wildly as a song starts to be strummed on the electric guitar of the lead singer.

He definitely knows how to bring in a crowd. And control it for that matter. He spoke with a deep accent and his voice was smooth. 10 minutes into the show and his skin was already glistening with sweat and his hair shagged over his forehead. Every time he played a riff on his guitar all I wanted to do was stare at his fingers. The way they moved. I wanted his fingers on me.

He had just finished a song when he takes a break to address the audience.

“How are you all doing tonight, you all okay?” He says looking over me a bit.

“I think I need a drink.” I say to my friend shaking my empty cup.

“You need something to drink?” I hear and look up to see the lead singer looking straight at me. Not knowing how to respond to the attractive man in front of me. I just kinda let out a-

“Yes, I could do with something to drink.” I say, the heat rising to my cheeks. He turns around and grabs a water bottle from the back of the stage. He hands it to me, our fingers grazing a little bit, sending my body into orbit.

“I love that answer, it wasn’t just yes she was like, yeah I could do with a drink.” He says to the crowd making me want to hide within myself. He looks back down at me seeing my embarrassment.

“Oh I’m sorry, don’t be embarrassed. It was cute.” He grins. I just kinda look up in awe. My friend freaking out by my side. He continues the show, red dusted across his cheeks, as he plays a few more songs I know will be on my playlist by the end of the night.

The show finishes up and we start walking out to my car, my friend gushing about the obvious flirting coming from, who I now know is, Alex turner.

We are about to walk past the stage door, since the car is parked a little farther down that street, when the small crowd around it starts to yell. The band walks out. They sign a few things and are getting onto the bus, when he gets to the top step and our eyes meet. The security guards are about to direct us around the bus.

“Hey, hey, let them over.” Alex says and the guard brings us to him.

“Hi, sorry for calling you out like that earlier. Pretty people make make me all nervous. And I just start talking… like right now.” He says shaking his head to himself. The blush from earlier making place on his cheeks once again.

“It’s alright.” I smile. He just returns the favor, maybe staring a bit to long thought cause my friend clears her throat.

“Oh, uh, before you go I was wondering. We’re having a little after party. I know it’s late but…. Do you wanna come?” He asks. I look over to my friend. Catching his eye he adds- “both of you.”

She smiles wide nodding her head.

“Yeah that would be great.”

“Perfect, could I get your number.” He says and I look taken back.

“To give you the address.” He says playing it off smooth. So I give him my number and we bid each other good bye. As I’m walking away we hear a “let’s go Alex!” From the bus.

We get in the car and start driving to the destination.

“Do you realize that in one night you have made Alex turner blush twice?”

“I’m totally freaking out! You didn’t tell me the singer was gonna be hot!” I exclaim causing a loud laugh to escape her lips.

“Well I didn’t know I would be watching a live romcom happen before my eyes, but here we are!”

We drive up to the place and get out. It’s a large fancy hotel in a part of town I’m not rich enough to know well. We walk into the hotel and I look at my phone fore the room number. “Room 505.” I say and my friend drags me to the elevator. We end up on the suite level and we get to the door. Loud music pounds through the door as we knock, hoping it’s heard.

The door swings open and Alex turner stands behind it.

“I was getting nervous you wouldn’t show up.” He says stepping aside and letting me in.

He lead me towards the dance floor (a large group in the middle of the room) and my friend found her own stuff to do.

“You know, I never asked you your name.” He says, leaning in close to my ear so I could hear.

“Now I’m all for mystery, but I want to get to know you.” He continues. My eyes widen as I feel his hot breath on my neck.

“Y/n.” I say.

“Y/n….. that’s pretty.” He smiles to himself pulling away.

“Sorry that sounded very cliche.” He grins looking away.

“No no, it’s okay. I like my name coming from your mouth.” I say, a little to genuinely causing him to laugh.

“Well good, cause I’ll be saying it often.”

The whole night we where glued to each others sides. And we just… talked. We spoke of our lives and how we got to this point. We talked about our favorite music and movies. He talked about how it’s been on the road. How he misses the stability of being home. Having a home in general. But he’s living his dreams, so he couldn’t complain much.

It was about 4 am when he drags us to a quiet room, my friend passed out on a couch somewhere. We both sit on the bed, confessing drunken attraction.

“You’re so entrancing.” He whispers looking to my lips. Entangling his fingers in the hair at the base of my neck.

“I want to kiss you… can I kiss you?” I ask and without a response, he leans in placing a gentle kiss to my lips. My body is on fire as his fingers, which I couldn’t keep my eyes off of earlier, graze my body. Finding a permanent place on my waist as I pull in closer and heat up the kiss. He lays me down softly on my back as he leans over me. His had removing itself from my hair to caress my cheek. Delicately he pulls away placing his forehead to mine.

“You taste like home.”

I woke up the next morning to see him in a chair next to the bed with some headphones on jotting down some words to a notebook. I was lying on my side with my hand gripping my thigh. Obviously trying to find some warmth since the only blanket in the room was sprawled out on the floor. Out of reach. I sit up but I could tell he had been staring, cause the second I opened my eyes he quickly looked away.

“Good morning.” I say, and he lifts the headphones from his ears.

“Morning.” He responds a smile playing on his lips as he closes the book. Setting it down to the nightstand.

“Sorry for crashing here, it was rude of me.”

“I enjoyed the company, don’t worry. Plus’s your friend is quite buddy buddy with the lads after last night, so I don’t think they minded either.

And that’s how it started.

For the next 4 weeks, while they where in town, we hung out almost everyday. It was probably the best 4 weeks of my life. Filled with laughter and stollen kisses. Late nights with deep conversation. Just a sense of calmness neither of us had felt in a while. A sense of what Alex liked to call home.

But after the fourth week they had to leave. They had other tour stops that where to far to be hanging out here for.

“Come with us. Please. You don’t understand how happy you have made me these past few weeks. We just connect.” He pleads to me as we sit in room 505. The guys in the living room probably eaves dropping on our conversation.

“I want to, I want to be with you. But my life is here. My family, my job. Alex I want to but I can’t.”

“Please, I need you. I can’t do the rest of this tour without you with me. Everyday I’m with you I long to feel your hands entangled in my own, or your lips on mine. I can’t make it through the day without thinking of you. You- you feel like home.” He says making me think back to the night we met. His eyes looked glossy and his hair messy. And I could tell it was my fault. But what was I to do? I couldn’t drop my entire life to go on a tour. It was unrealistic.

“Alex I’m sorry.”

“No.” He cried.

“Alex I’m sorry I can’t.”

“No. No no no please.” He says placing his hands on each side of my face, leaning in leaving a longing kiss to my lips. He left them rough and my cheeks wet. I couldn’t tell you if the tears where his or mine. I pulled away and walked to the door.

“Alex I’m sorry, I can’t.” I say and exit the door. He follows me out to the living room, us now in-front of the others.

“Y/n please. I can’t leave you.” He begs as I walk to the hotel room door.

“I’m just another girl Alex. There will be other girls. Don’t mess up your life for me. It’s not worth it.”

“I love you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Alex.” I sigh wiping my tears away.

“Don’t leave me.” He cries.

“I have to go… I love you, I swear I do, but I have to go. It’s for the best.” I say and quickly exit the hotel room. Sobs wrack over my body as I walk to my car and they continue into the night.

I woke up the next morning and they where gone. They had left an hour earlier. There next show being in a day they had to be quick. I couldn’t help but feel upset. But I had to remind myself it was for the best. It wouldn’t have worked out.

Right?

*2 months later*

As I was driving down the street to work, my friend called my phone up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, guess what.”

“What?”

“Arctic monkeys released a new album. And uh, I think you should look at it.”

“Okay hold on, I’ll turn it on at the red light.” I say just as I’m about to pull up. I quickly pull out my phone and search for the album. I’m about to just press play when I see it.

505.

I press the song and as the light turns green and I begin to drive, I listen to the song.

“I’m going back to 505. If it’s a 7 hour flight or a 45 minute drive, in my imagination your waiting, lying on your side. With your hands between your thighs and a smile.”

I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I missed him. For months I’ve felt awful about not going with him. I should have gone with him. I love him and I didn’t take the chance when I had it. It’s been eating me up.

I pull over and scroll through my contacts. The phone rings for a few seconds tell I hear his voice on the speaker.

“Hello love.”

“Hey Alex, I- I want to see you. I need to see you.”

“God, I missed you.”

#alex turner #alex turner angst #alex turner x reader #arctic monkeys #alex turner fluff #Spotify

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aqpippin · 1 year

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✨ MASTERLIST ✨

hello!! I’m pip, I’m 24, and I’m from australia!! I’ve been known to churn out a fic from time to time!!

behind the cut is some handy links to specific fics, as well as my tags for writing + recs

(last edited: April 28, 2024 (new HOH chapter!!))

✨ CURRENT WIPS ✨

→ goodecox au (goodecox bakery au)

→ hamptons au (goodecox)

→ teach me, teach me, teach me (how to love) (goodecox professors au)

→ happenings of happenstance (goodecox kidfic au (updated Sundays AEST))

✨ PUBLISHED FICS ✨

SERIES + MULTICHAPS

→ happenings of happenstance (on someone else’s playground) (goodecox (in progress, chapter 5/10 uploaded 28/4))

→ I drive down different roads (but they all lead back to you) (goodecox (smut) (complete, 2 chapters))

→ take my hand, save your soul (jankie (smut))

↳ fics in this series — god is a woman, keep on flourishing, show me divine love

→ I think (crygi (smut))

↳ fics in this series — I think I’ve fallen in love

→ back to you (craquaria (complete, 5 chapters))

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

ONESHOTS

-> give me the first taste (heaven cannot wait forever) (grandekofi (smut)) ✨NEW✨

→ all gilded and golden (I’m your girl) (goodecox (smut))

→ close to you (crygi)

→ now. here. everywhere. (goodecox)

→ sleeping with strangers (goodecox (smut))

→ you know that I’m greedy for love (jankie (smut))

→ I leave the light on for you (jankie)

→ not a house, but a home (jankie)

→ talk me down (jankie)

✨ GENERAL ✨

→ ao3

→ pinterest

→ writing tag (wip wednesdays, six sentence sundays, the occasional prompt, shameless self-reblogs)

→ fic recs (favourite fics written by others)

→ prompts (things that have piqued my interest)

#hello I made a masterlist pls feel free to ignore #however if you don’t feel like ignoring - the links to all my fics are just below the cut 👀#pippin writes

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baejl · 3 years

Text

busan

ateez 9th member au

moon visits her family for christmas after a long time

WARNING: mentions of dead people, family abandonment, family argument, a lot of drama and it’s a long post.

masterlist ☾ requests are open feedback is always important to me!

"We're here." Moon said to her manager and Wooyung, stopping her car in front of a white house.

Moon never thought that her first long ride, officially licensed, would be back to Busan. Not that she was doing that because she wanted to, but when her father called her after almost a year, Moon knew it was time to, at least, visit her hometown on the couple days off she had.

Luckily, Wooyung would only go back home the next day and he self-invited to go with her. And, of course, she couldn't reject it.

"Do you want us to stay here or go with you?" her manager asked from the backseat while she took her bag and put her sunglasses on.

"You can go." she answered him. "But, even if he calls me a bitch, you have to keep calm. He wants me to act like him and you protecting me is what he expects. Okay?"

"Your father can not be that person." Wooyung said, and she looked at him, lifting her eyebrow. "Can he?"

"You'll see." she said, opening her door. She opened the car trunk to grab all the gifts she bought because even though Moon hated half of the people living there, she was mature enough to act like a brat.

After her manager and Seonghwa helped her with all the bags, she locked the car and stood in front of the door, gathering strength to ring the bell.

"Eunji, you can do it..." Wooyoung said behind her. "We're here with you."

"He's right." the manager Sujeong said, weakly beaming at her.

With that, she finally pressed the small button and took a step backwards, sighing. A few seconds after, the door opened, revealing her father's face and, for a moment, Moon realised how much she missed him.

"Hi, dad." Moon said, smiling.

He father opened her biggest smile she has ever seen and pulled her to a hug, which she didn't know how to react. She tried to hug him even with her hand occupied.

"My princess!" he said, looking at her.

Moon wanted to believe that he was being honest, but something inside her knew he was doing that because of Wooyoung and the manager.

"These are my manager, Sujeong," Moon pointed at the man, who bowed at her father. "and one of the boys, Wooyoung."

"Hi, sir!" Wooyoung said, smiling. "Nice to meet you."

"Same." her father smiled back at the boy and made room for them to enter the house. "Come in, please."

They entered the house, and Moon took some time to observe the house. Even though she's the one paying for the rent, she never actually got to see how the place was. She only did that because she wanted to take her father from the small apartment they used to live.

Moon silently took her shoes off and waited for her father to lead them. Even when she's visiting Lucas with all his members on the dorm, she doesn't feel as uncomfortable as she was feeling now.

"So, how was the road?" her father asked them, as they passed by the hallway.

"It was fine. There wasn't a lot of traffic." Moon answered. He showed them the couch, and she sat there, placing the bags on the floor, the boys following each movement. "I brought some gifts from Seoul to you."

Her father smiled at her.

"You know you didn't have to." he said, faking a surprise.

"Where's Borah, by the way?" Moon asked, referring to her stepmother.

"She was dressing up. She missed you so much."

"Oh," Moon smirked. "I can't even imagine."

At the mention of her name, the woman showed up in the living room, and she was just like Moon imagined, the only difference was her long blonde hair. She still had that face that makes Moon want to throw up.

But one thing caught Moon's attention, the weird volume on her belly.

"Eunjinie!" the woman exclaimed, hugging Moon and pressing her belly against Moon, making sure she noticed it. "How have you been?" she looked at Moon. "You're so different!"

"Y-You too..." Moon cleared her throat and pointed at the boys. "These are Sujeong and Wooyung. My manager and my member."

"It's so nice to meet you guys!" she said, shaking their hands. "I thought Moon would bring all of her members."

"They all visiting their families, Wooyoung oppa was the only one in Seoul." Moon explained.

"Just as you should be doing, right?" the woman answered her with a cold tone.

Moon's heart was about to explode, and her breathing was getting heavier second by second. Half of her mind wanted to stay there and show them everything she had conquered without them, while the other half just wanted to run away.

Noticing her behaviour, Wooyung quickly decided to back her up.

"Moon bought some gifts. I think you'll like it." he said, handing the woman the first bag he saw, a Gucci bag. He took Moon's hand and made her sit on the couch.

"Actually, why don't we tell her why we called her?" Borah said, placing her hand on Moon's father's chest. When he was about to tell something, Borah interrupted him. "I'm pregnant, and it's a girl!"

That hit Moon like a bomb. If being his only child, Moon's father would ignore her for a whole year, she couldn't even imagine now, with another daughter.

"We're still deciding the name, but we're thinking about Leah." her father said. Moon smirked.

"My mom's name?" she said, still numb by everything going on.

"Yes!" her stepmother answered. "But, of course, it's not because of her. My aunt's name was Leah too, and she raised me."

"Good for you." Moon interrupted her and looked at her father. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"Eunji, I wanted to tell you when I got the news, but-"

"Borah didn't let you." Moon finished the sentence for him. "See, I took my time picking all these gifts for you, thinking that for a single time of my life you really cared about me."

"Moon, relax..." she heard her manager mumbling behind her.

"I've always cared about you!" her father said, with a tone of insult.

"Why are you reacting like this, after all?" Borah said. "You don't even call or answer our messages."

"That's because you never sent me one." Moon opposed. "Stop playing this game, Borah."

"I think we should go." Sujeong announced, getting up.

"We're not going anywhere." Moon said, making him sit again.

"If you thought that coming here with all these expensive things would change anything, you were so wrong." Borah said, narrowing her eyes at Moon. "I told your father this was an awful idea."

"I also told him you're an awful wife too. Guess he'll never listen to any of us."

Borah gasped out loud and put a hand on her chest, feeling offended while Moon just rolled her eyes at the whole acting.

"I'll do anything I can to keep you away from this child." Borah pointed at her belly.

"Great!" Moon forced a smile. "This way, I keep my distance from you too."

"Won't you do anything to stop her? She's your daughter and look the way she's talking to me! " Borah whined, looking at the man beside her.

Not reacting the way she wanted him to, Moon's father only shrugged his shoulder, making the woman even more irritated and she left the room throwing the Gucci bag away.

When some door banged, Moon looked at her father.

"Do you have anything else to tell me?" she asked, calm but still sad and anxious.

Her father took a deep breath and closed his eyes, shaking his head in a no. Moon nodded.

"The moment I step out of this house, you can forget about me and everything I pay for you." she said in a cold tone. Wooyoung and Sujeong widened their eyes. "Six years ago you made your choice and choose them over me," she referred to Borah and her son, which, thankfully, Moon didn't see yet. "now I'm making my own."

"I just wanted to have a healthy afternoon with my daughter and my wife." he said, finally looking at her.

"I'm sorry, but as long as you stay with her, your life will never be normal, dad." Moon said, finally letting the tears roll down her face. She went next to her dad and hugged him. "She won't ever be my mom, dad."

"I know," he whispered. "and that's what hurts me the most."

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes until Moon decided to break the contact, cleaning the few tears remaining on her and his face.

"I have to go." she said, and her father sadly nodded. They followed to the door in silence. "I bought you some shirts, some jeans..." she said, before leaving. "I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I'll." he promised her, kissing her forehead. "Goodbye, Moonie. Merry Christmas."

"Bye, dad."

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