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carrioncider · 1 year

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no spoilers (explicit atleast) but the toh episode was good!!! i enjoyed it :DD Where is the soundtrack

#i need it #toh spoilers #← theyre really not but always in case #also is it a bad time to say im not a huntlow shipper? ._.''''#like i dont really get the relationship. good for the shippers out there tho! feast #sad there wasnt any of the fluid animantion tho. but maybe its cus theyre saving for the next ep :OO #ramblingswhy #ALSO!! MY FAVORITE CREATURE IS BACK! Belos my creature <3<3

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 2 months

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"It's just you now. Take care of mother."

i have the normal amount of emotions about them (lying) <3

#a redraw but also not really cus i ended up tracing a lot from the old one hfldsjdfs #it was only supposed to be for reference but i ended up keep messing w it instead of redrawing it proper......#feel like i got his expression down better in the old one; looks more strained/ hearbroken like i feel #but thats fine #my art #my ocs #oc: liam hawke #i'm still not sure if liam or varric is the one who deals the killing blow #love both the thought of liam having his own sisters blood on his hands and never being able to wash it off fully #or his (future) best friend saving him that fate but now having that stand between them #cus liam would be grateful for it but part of him would always remember that and hold it against him #(both options also make the bartrand encounter crunchy in slightly different ways)#either way in that moment he kind of hates varric for even just being there. and fenris too #(though tbh im not sure how realistic it would be for him to take sb else except bethy and varric down into the deep roads)#((so maybe in canon fen wouldnt be there idk. havent decided this yet either))#logically he knows its not fair ofc but it just feels like an invasion of privacy. it feels Wrong.#they have no place in this they shouldnt have been there they shouldnt have been part of it they shouldnt have seen him like this #but its sth that binds them too #the rest of the trek is miserable and awkward for all of them in any case #but yeah.#idk if they would be able to bury her down here properly so maybe they end up doing it via lava?#theyre not leaving her body out in the open to rot and/or become food for darkspawn or spiders thats for sure

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oceanwithouthermoon · 6 months

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saiki is such a fucking loser when it comes to romance (and also in general shh) that no matter who it is hes trying to date, he ALWAYS waits for THEM to confess. he will NEVER be the one to confess first..

i dont think he even CONSIDERS the fact that he could confess first, even though he can read their mind and knows exactly how they feel about him.. he waits and waits for a confession and when he doesnt get it, he gets really frustrated and is like 'i guess they just arent serious about me 😒🙄' BRO YOU HAVENT CONFESSED EITHER ?? YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITIES TO DO IT TOO WHY ARE YOU A HYPOCRITE ??

#my agenda that kusuo is just a bratty girlfriend #kusuo with an UNREQUITED crush is just satousai like i dont even have to say it #he never thought of confessing to satou cuz he knew it wasnt requited so he didnt really think it mattered #which is also funny and related to this because he just never wants to be the one to pursue someone lmfao #'ugh when is he going to notice me' -guy preparing for his first queer heartbreak #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #meows post #kubosai #<- i think kuboyasu almost always confesses anyway so kusuo doesnt need to worry about this for long #but theyre both pathetic hopeless losers so theres a chance kusuo could get frustrated listening to him pine after him #thats a rare case that could happen with anyone tbh where kusuo MIGHT confess. or avoid them like the passive aggressive tsundere he is.#terusai #<- this one he also gets very very frustrated!! because koko is kinda the same way he is..#she also expects to be confessed to and he hears her think that and is sooo annoyed because absolutely NOT #haisai #<- i think if hairo realized he had a crush he would immediately confess BUT he and kusuo are aroace kings lmfao #so i think that both of them r kinda oblivious and hairo simply wouldnt realize it was a crush #stg one of their friends would have to step in and be like 'u guys r practically dating can u just kiss or something damn..'#merasai #<- ALSO BOTH AROACE AND WOULD BASICALLY BE DATING WAY BEFORE MERA EVEN KNEW SHE LIKED HIM #saikai #<- kusuo is on a MISSION with this one omg. he does everything in his power to make his feelings known without being TOO obvious #so that KAIDO will confess.. but kaido just gets awkward about it for a while.. kusuo does not realize what hes doing is called flirting..#saikechi #<- idk i feel like this would be complicated.. akechi wouldnt want to confess cuz he would b like well i know he knows..#and he would probably mention casually wheile hes talking and not expect kusuo to respond #so like.. he just wouldnt think kusuo likes him because kusuo never acknowledges it but its only cuz akechi hasnt really CONFESSED

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this-should-do · 2 years

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Losing your identity in favor of survival

#gordon freeman #half life #was thinking about my headcanon on why gordon looses his mullet by hl2 in which he gets grabbed by the ponytail too many times and cuts it #of course in a very emotional manner before he hardens as he goes from gordon to freeman in accordance with my chracterization of him from #my fic which u should go read on ao3 #its called could gordon ever be clean #but yeah looove tying chara dev to hair and having it be so significant that gordon cuts his hair cuz i think he has a complex relationship #w his hair becuz hes so trans #i wont get into it cuz its kinda long but trust me its good #fun fact to get the subtle static texture u can barely see i used the sonic . exe static lol #eyestrain tw #<just in case these colors are kinda bright #anyways i love really messy haircuts cuz theyre having a breakdown and using a knife. it feels like in movies their hair always looks good #which is WRONG it would not look good like that u rlying to me #idoindeeddraw #anyways feeling artsy with the caption today lol #but thats like the theme of this comic and i wanted to ensure it was understood lol

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conspicuous-clown-car · 8 months

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considering how fnaf was based off of chuck e cheese, them doing this sly 'fnaf but not legally fnaf' cash grab just proves my point of how spot on scott cawthon was with making fazbear entertainment a shitty company. CEC Entertainment really is that bad

#theyre really profiting off of the fnaf movie when they LITERALLY GOT RID OF ALL THEIR ANIMATRONICS???#COME ON #do they really need money THAT badly?#and as someone who worked at chuck e cheese for a long ass time #trust me its really bad #cockroaches fucking everywhere #throwup soaked into the carpet #everything is dirty and nasty as fuck because they dont hire enough people to clean everything #has violated several osha rules #all their stuff is cheaply made but overpriced to hell and back #treats their staff horribly (at least at the one i worked at)#getting paid for one job but having to do literally e v e r y t h i n g (in my case)#always understaffed and overworked #the pizza isnt reused tho its actually fresh as fuck #overall terrible place #ESPECIALLY if youre working there #which is why i dont regret stealing over $200 worth of prizes from the prize counter throughout my time there #im still salty about this almost a year later #fnaf #chuck e cheese

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tibli · 8 months

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people calling davekat boring are so funny bc like. just bc YOU can only make a dynamic interesting if its toxic and unhealthy doesn't mean the rest of us are constrained to that!

skill issue ✌️

#homestuck #davekat #people always do this with ships that are even remotely healthy #like girl just bc they arent constantly trying to kill each other doesnt mean their boring lmao #do you think real people are boring for the same reason?#bc if thats the case that means YOURE boring!#bc you cant see the interesting things about other people if theyre positive! sad!#this is very catty of me i know. but i think i can be catty abt this bc it doesnt really matter anyway #ignore that i misspelled theyre in an earlier tag btw

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liquidstar · 2 months

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months

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So Allegedly Infinite Wealth is 100 hours... not that you can't already spend that long on the games if you really want to, but I'd say it's the first time that could be said to be the base experience rather than a time only hardcore completionists are likely to get.

Yokoyama was talking at length about wanting to make the game worth the price tag since the team is incredibly conscious about the value of the players' time and money. They essentially feel they owe players ten times what they paid, so they're aiming for "an enjoyable 100 hours, but also an unforgettable 100 hours."

If they pull it off, I personally think it'd be 100% worth it and not just a "well other studios are doing it so we can get away with it too" price hike... I'm at least happy to know that's not the intent, and I'm intrigued to see how everything pans out and what the ratio is between story and side content

oh yayaya i saw that article this morning!!! 100 hours is actually so unfathomable to me in terms of an rgg game- i mean y7 was At Minimum around 45~50 hours but when i think of other RPGS that easily dip into 70's and 100's of hours, i'm not too surprised to see LAD start to climb towards those numbers now. it'd be such a jump in rgg's terms tho, so i'm TRULY curious to see where the nearly doubled gameplay hours comes from..

i really appreciate yoko's respect not just to RGGS but also to its customers: they want to make a great product, but they also don't want to sacrifice what they want to do to do that in the process

#snap chats #very timely article since .. i think it was passport i dont exactly remember who it was that was concerned about the game quality #maybe it was kana... idk one of you lot LMAO POINT IS thank you for reading our minds yoko #i wouldnt mind 100+ hours of island content LMAO but fr im truly curious to see what the main plot's gon be bout then #i mean we KNOW the main plot but yk what i mean... how the hell does this pan out..#REGARDLESS. i never had any issue with the LAD8 price #maybe its just cause i dont buy videogames too much <- liar (theyre old so like .2% cheaper its ok i think)#in rgg's case i always know im gonna get something i'll love for months- even years at this point #either way its nice knowing that yoko's at least aware of people who aren't happy with the price #and even besides that still just want to make a worthy game #aint nothin wrong with knowin your worth.. i think.#talking about videogame prices in general honestly im p sure the avg price for a game should be in the 100's by now #going off inflation anyway #so the fact devs are still trying to keep it under the $100 is. Something to me anyway #the quality of games- in terms of graphics anyway- has really gone up. idk if that warrants a FAT slap of an expense in the end #but it's not hard for me to understand the crawl towards it right #but now im ramblngi LMAOOOOOO anyways #haruka did nothing wrong yoko said it himself <3

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iindigoeyed · 10 months

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A detail I noticed about Feast

Feast (S3E15) is a very important episode for many reasons: it gives us Fu's backstory and origins of the miracle box, it hammers home the element of emotions when creating sentibeings, it restores the Tibetan temple and causes a chain reaction that is relevant later in the series (namely with Su Han), Mayura is there... but I rewatched it recently and I noticed a detail near the end that I believe to be foreshadowing.

At the end of Feast, our heroes defeat the sentimonster by entering it and cataclysm-ing Fu's staff with the amuk in it. Once Ladybug casts her Miraculous Ladybug and returns the world to normal, the Guardian Temple reappears and we can see the news reporting on it:

As the news is reporting on the temple, a few people can be seen watching (or listening). Those would be Gabriel and Nathalie, Tomoe, Alya, and Audrey Bourgeois.

Gabriel and Nathalie makes sense. They are Hawkmoth and Mayura, after all-- and Gabriel used the peacock with Emilie to create Adrien. Tomoe again is understandable, as she is a close ally to Hawkmoth and possibly used the peacock miraculous to create Kagami (which is all but confirmed in canon at this point.) And Alya herself is the catalyst for this episode's events: she brings Marinette to the Louvre where the dormant sentimonster is, shows Marinette her findings about the guardian symbol, and publishes those findings on her Ladyblog which HM & Mayura then discover. She's also a Miraculous holder too.

Now, why is Audrey watching the news? From a meta standpoint there's no need to show her in this scene since she isn't of the same importance that the others are. Hell, Audrey wasn't even in this episode before then. Even if her daughter is a Miraculous holder, Audrey has no reason to be interested in the Temple...

...unless, of course, she has some connection to the Miraculous.

As an aside... I'm not sure exactly what this means. If Audrey used the peacock to create Chloe like many believe, surely Audrey or Andre would've fallen ill like predecessors Emilie and Colt did. You could argue that she used the peacock miraculous to create Zoe as we've never seen Zoe's dad and aren't sure he's even alive, but considering this was in season 3 before Zoe was even introduced to us I have my doubts to believe this was the intent. Or maybe there's some unseen third option that I don't know about.

Regardless, this seems like pretty obvious foreshadowing to me. Even if this ends up going nowhere it's interesting to recontextualize it knowing everything that we know now. I don't think we've seen the last of Chloe or of her family quite yet (even if the writers want us to think we have.)

#as always sorry if someone's pointed this out before. but i didn't see anyone talking about it!#granted it's a really fucking old episode and i'm New In Town #miraculous #chloe bourgeois #indiposts #inditheories #Though to be honest it wouldn't surprise me if they've given up on the whole sentibeing-chloe thing.#TBH i dont think they know what theyre doing with chloe or any of the bourgeouis-es...#it seems like they tossed zoe in there to make up for how unlikeable chloe is #and so they dont have to properly give chloe an arc #because if they did give chloe an arc ppl who dont like her would be mad #and if they DIDNT then ppl who DO like her would be mad.#it's a lose-lose scenario especially since thomas himself hates her.#So things might have changed since feast was released #and chances are this background detail is going no where.#but i thought it was a fun observation to throw out in case they end up using it.#Some other notes: I hesitate to think that there are MORE sentibeings that we dont know about.#I dont think Gabriel seems like the type to toss out his miraculous all willy-nilly.#Him lending it to Colt seemed like a one-off thing #and him lending it to Tomoe seems like an even bigger stretch but not totally implausible esp considering the circumstances #The fact that they found the peacock exactly where it was left (that is to say exactly where Fu left it)#makes me think they are the only ppl who know about it #So while i've seen other ppl say that everyone at the Diamond Dance couldve been a sentibeing #I just don't see it happening. Sorry!#And that's why I don't even really know about Zoe.#But what I find interesting is the age gap between Zoe and Chloe.#Surely they must be close in age since they're in the same grade right?#And if that's the case... how did Audrey get pregnant so close together?#Might be another reason to believe one of them is a sentibeing... or adopted LOL.#Anyway i'm done! Lmk if you remember anything important! ciao

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kvroii · 4 months

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Draw it again challenge.

Kori's second design ever, being from October 24, 2013. It was a 'fancier' outfit so her hair, which was usually rough, was smoothed back in this design, and she wore a long coat. The buckles and ribbons in her hair were different than her uniform outfit, with one ribbon instead of two, and no red buckles present this time.

Besides the dragon wings getting swapped for her dragonfly wings, and her eye color switched to her official one, the intent of the design has stayed the same from original to redraw. This time, however, I have the artistic ability to draw it. Original was drawn in MS Paint with a mouse. Redraw drawn in Paint Tool SAI with a drawing tablet.

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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I found socks with my favorite flowers on them (nasturtiums!), but they literally don't match anything I own, so making an outfit with them is difficult.. just all black with the bright shoes and a random stuffed animal for accents lol

#self #ootd #still unsure if I should do the like.. 'saying where stuff is from' section at the end of outfit posts like I think it's popular to do #but it just feels repetitive because basically for everything is just 'it's all thrifted' occasional 'shoes from ebay 10 years ago so I don #t remember the seller' or 'socks from a random sock store in the mall 2 years ago' etc.#even the stuffed animal is from the bins lol #Shoes and tights and wigs are the only things that it tends to be harder to get from the bins. Though I still find some #except wigs. I wouldn't really wear Bin Wigs since half the bins have like mysterious wet stuff and mold in them or etc.#I've gotten some shoes and stuff there though. But most of my shoes are from online. It's just that theyre also not from #like.. brands..?? Like 'converse' or something. It's more.. some random ebay seller in 2017 or something #so then that feels weird too because I thought the point of that being popular is so people can go find the things you're wearing and #buy them or whatever. but in my case that would never be helpful ghjbjk #since I also keep things so long. I have shoes and stuff Ive had since elementary school #good luck tracking down where I got these tights on ebay in 2011. good luck going to the bins or a thriftstore and finding the same #exact dress or etc. So then in that case does it even matter?? eh #The only sense I could see it being useful in is like. people seeing that they could make looks without spending a lot of money.#since I have had some comments on costumes or makeups before like 'omg I would love to look like this if I had the $$ for clothes *sad emo #ji*' or whatever. and I always want to message them and be like.. this entire outfit cost like $2.. you can do it. Don't get discouraged #I mean depending on the resources available to you. I know not everyone has a bins type place near the #m. but still. and all of my makeup and wigs are cheap as hell. Probably full of terrible chemicals. but I wear them like. once every 5 mont #hs or less since I dont do full costumes that often so hopefully wont get an infection or something. etc. etc.#ANYWAY. I could see it being useful I guess in just letting people know most of everything is secondhand #if that's meaningful to them for some reason. but also I feel like thats obvious since I talk about it. so #still just seems repetitive to me. ANYWAY. Love nasturtiums... aaaaaa... even though it's not my colors at all and I never #wear black or anything that would match them #I had to do it. I also normally would never ever pay $12 for socks but.. it's SO specific to my tastes and I had never seen anything #with nasturtiums on it before since they dont seem as popular as like roses or sunflowers. One of my once every 2 years #impulse buys at a mall ghjhjb.. (I never go to malls and also just rarely buy stuff in general since I'm evil miserly penny pincher etc.)#Kind of like how once a year I allow myself to have one steak from a restaurant or something but that's all. Once every few years #I will go to a large mall at a not busy time of day so I can avoid crowds. just to look around for fun. and will maybe buy like. One thing

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 10 months

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#putting smth on the stove................simmering................#im not watching the gangers ep im just skipping through for scenes so i dont really remember what it was that made amy convinced of #flesh doctors realness here #whether it was the fact that he was gonna sacrifice himself just like the doctor would or whether it was the fact that they fooled her and #she couldnt tell who was who and was convinced it was the other way around than it was #i know my impression of the ep was always the second but i dont know now i havent rewatched it in forever #also thinking abt how tentoo was said to be the doctor well partially bc of having the same memories #which they also make as an argument for flesh doctor being the doctor #(i think in both cases it's the doctor who makes that argument)#but they also say abt tentoo that he 'is the doctor when we first met'#10 says that to rose #bc of the warcrime thing? born in blood and revenge and whatever #so like. while the doctor makes the argument that theyre the same bc of memories #in both cases there might also be the case of making the same choices #but i would have to rewatch for real to say for certain #but thats what i really like abt 13. that they made it that CHOICES make the doctor #and kinda this idea that the doctor seems to have had for AGES that it's their memories what makes them #they threw that out #in the matrix with the fugitive doctor #'now that does sound like me talking' the fugitive kinda convinced her right?#anyway i like that shift a lot i hope they keep it

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lesbianralzarek · 3 days

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going through the tag for a gal that i think may be a new blorbo for me and a noticeable majority of the posts are filtered content. blocking ships that annoy me asap is the best way to keep my cortisol levels within normal range, but the cost is so host (<- first time writing that out and i realize that ive been mentally spelling it like an existing word that does not rhyme with cost, but whatd you have me do? "the cost is hawst"??? self-defeating)

#ive decided to start posting in a voice more representative to the way i speak irl #i often write up posts in my natural speech patterns and then go back and ''''clean it up'''' before sending it into the wide open yonder #ive always been a bit shy about it for no fuckin reason yall would decipher without my sayin so #but once the 'no one says *insert x y and z normal fuckin bits of normal fuckin lexicons here* unless theyre being self-righteous online'#discourse hit (which frankly i can see where its comin from. some of yall really only say 'yall (derogatory)' in condescension)#i really reigned it in #i say yeehaw in casual conversation. its not weird where i live #lots of other bits and bobs ive been made self-conscious over online. many such cases #anyway. sorry for being weird in the tags about something thats Really Not That Deep to 99% of yall #the ones who DO get me tho? youre golden

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nami501 · 8 months

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So I'm reading a fix where Sirius doesn't know James Potter and he is justsad like life has hit him and has no spark and then I had the thought that Sirius being a star needs the sun to shine

#I'm being dramatic #but remus and Sirius have met and all i want is for James to show up #like i have always thought that the difference between Sirius and Regulus is simply one had James and the other no #so my point is I love Wolfstar but Sirius needs James #platonic soulmates and all that #also i have only read one other fic like that but in that case they were separated i finished cause i really needed to see them finding #each other again #anyways although theyre the moon and the star they need the sun to shine #also i haven't read much so far is only Remus and Sirius #and i think Lily was therr but still not sure #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #james potter #marauders

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marklikely · 8 months

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watching movies w the Boys during social time and so far they really like the reanimator green goo and nothing else

#thats actually a lie when theyre in their cage i discovered they also really like mst3k .#its the only thing they will go up to the bars of the cage and look at when i put it on. they dont look at anything else on tv.#unless its out of cage time and im sitting w them right by the tv to watch it in which case as i said before . they like reanimator #or at least the scenes with the glowing green goo. they dont really look at the rest of the movie tbh.#avpost #i always turn it to the mst3k channel when im away so theyve probably seen more of the show than i have atp #i dont even know how they know to look at it bc the tv is far enough from their cage that i feel like surely they cant see #considering rats have bad eyesight. and the tv is definitely farther than they can see clearly. maybe its something to do w the sound #(which is what i leave the tv on while im out for anyway. so they dont get too used to the sound of no people)#idk all i know is they all pile in the corner that has the best view of the tv and face that direction when i put that specific channel on.#anyway the social time movies are for my benefit more than theirs obviously i just thought it was kind of funny what they pay attention to.#ratposting

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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...

#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol #except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade #plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me #god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set #looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u #the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control #executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont #wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral #sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive #lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not #forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho #my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly #need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im #dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter #what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by #my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything #interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to #fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i #described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that #idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean #ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said #she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the #parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the #disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage #but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain #just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked #unrelated

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