#[[he doesn't look a thing like Jesus but he talks like a gentleman]] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blindmagdalena · 1 year

Note

Homelander and spanking is giving me brainrot rn. Just imagine lightly smacking his ass throughout the day as a joke only for him to turn tables and go from 0 to 100 REAL quickly

18+, f!reader, spanking, dirty talk, inappropriate use of a conference room, p-in-v sex, cream pie. The first time you slap Homelander's ass, it's a drive-by at work. It's quick, a sharp little smack with the back of your hand because he hasn't noticed his cape is pulled aside, hooked on a chair. No one he's standing with notices, but he whips his head around to look at you. You're already halfway down the hall, practically fleeing from him while grinning to yourself.

The two of you have been dating for a while. It's certainly the office's worst kept secret, but you both still like to play around as if no one knows.

It happens again that same day while the two of you are alone in The Seven's conference room, and this time it's a full on assault. It's hardly your fault that when you drop your pen, he doesn't bend with his knees. Instead, he bends perfectly in half, acting the part of the ideal gentleman to pick up your pen. You reel both hands back, and clap him loudly on the ass, surprising even yourself with the sound it makes.

The look on his face when he whirls around on you makes you nearly scream with laughter, muffling it into both your hands.

"Okay," he says slowly, voice pitched so menacingly that you instantly turn on your heel, making a break for the closed door, but he catches you by the waist and yanks you right back. "You wanna play? Let's play."

"No! No! It was just a joke! I won't do it again!" You cry, writhing in his grip, still laughing.

"Nope. You started this, now I'm gonna finish it," he says, bending you over the table. He keeps you there with nothing more than a light hand on your lower back, and shamelessly flips your skirt up over your hips.

You gasp, whole body tensing up immediately. "Oh my god, hold on-"

The first crack of his gloved hand against your ass knocks the next words completely from your brain, swiftly emptying it. You expect that to be the end of it, a revenge beautifully executed. Until he does it again.

This time, you moan.

The sound surprises both of you.

You feel your whole face flush, your stomach doing backflips. You reach back to push your skirt down, wildly embarrassed by how obscene the noise had been in your own ears.

However, Homelander doesn't let you up. Instead, he takes hold of your wrist and curls it behind your back, wringing another surprised noise from you. "Wh-what're you-" He does it again. He's incredibly restrained, striking with such precision of strength, it's honestly a wonder. To your mortification, you can feel your clit beginning to throb. Holy fuck, this is turning you on fast. He delivers another sharp little smack, and then another. You clench your thighs together, panting out pitchy little breaths with every blow.

Homelander slides his hand up from the small of your back to the back of your neck, squeezing it. You can feel yourself beginning to soak your panties, ridiculously wet not only from the way he's spanking you, but from the ragged way you can hear him breathing. Knowing he's getting off on this as much as you are strikes a chord low in your belly.

"H-Homelander," you moan. Your ass is beginning to smart, hot to the touch. Even when he just rubs it, it feels absolutely electric. "Jesus Christ," he growls, gritting the words out through his teeth.

The next thing you know, he lets go of your neck and you hear a distinctive metallic click. It's followed immediately by an audible shuffle of fabric, and then you feel him hook the crotch of your panties with his thumb, pulling the material aside.

You recognize the shape of the fat head of his cock pushing against your pussy immediately. It makes an obscene, wet noise upon contact, smearing not only your wetness, but his. He rocks his hips, grinds back and forth against you, trailing that wetness from your clit nearly all the way back to your ass.

"All this time," he breathes, voice rough, already wrecked with his own arousal. "You just wanted me to spank you, huh?"

You make a pleading little noise, spreading your legs further.

"Could'a just asked, sweetheart," he says, huffing a laugh. You can hear how he's restraining himself, forcing himself to go slow, keeping himself from shoving inside you all at once. He fucks lazily between the wet folds of your cunt, slowly driving you wild.

"C'mon," you urge, rocking back against him. "Fuck me," you say, but instead of moving him along any faster, all you get is another sharp slap to your ass.

"Say please," he chides.

"Please," you moan readily, knees quivering. "Please, please fuck me."

He grunts out a tight little "Fuck," and takes your hips in both hands as he finally lines himself up with your cunt. He moves slow, makes you pant and whine as he eases just the thick head of his cock into you. He rocks you back and forth with ease, like a toy, working himself gradually deeper.

You claw at the table, struggling to find purchase, but the glass is smooth and too wide, leaving you absolutely nothing to grip. You can't do anything but take it, moaning feverishly as he opens you up.

"Always take me so fucking good," he groans, halfway there now, savoring the way your walls cling to him. "Like you were made to."

"I was," you say, hands balled up into fists, panting condensation onto the glass table top. "I was made for you, feel so fucking good in me, oh fuck, fuck, my pussy's still shaped like you."

Those words snap something in him, cause him to jerk you back the rest of the way onto his cock. Your ass stings deliciously when he bottoms out against it, wringing another pitchy moan from you. You've always had the power to shatter his meticulously crafted control, and today is no exception.

You wanted him to fuck you, and you're going to get it.

Homelander fucks you in sharp, deep little bursts, barely leaving you, just grinding deeper and deeper until you feel the head of his cock bumping into the very core of you.

Abruptly, he pulls you up until your back is flush to his chest. He wraps one hand around your waist while the other goes right to your throat, lifting you clean off your feet, holding you tight while he mercilessly pounds into you.

You have no leverage, can't do anything but grab hold of his wrist with both hands, clinging to him. Your ass burns and your cunt fucking aches, and there's a pressure building in you so rapidly you feel like you're going to explode.

"I-I'm gonna come," you gasp wetly, tears gathering in your eyes from the sheer overwhelm of sensation. "H-Homelander, I'm gonna come, I'm-I'm gonna come!"

He just pumps his hips faster, buries his face in the crook of your neck and fucking bites into your shoulder. It surprises you so much you nearly scream, and with it, your climax hits you like a truck. Your whole body seizes up, an explosion of waves rolling through you. The euphoria is unbelievable, knocks the wind right out of your lungs and paralyzes you, leaves you unable to breathe while Homelander fucks you through it.

After one last hard slam, Homelander stills, spilling into you with a ragged, gasping moan. The heat and flood of it is so intense, you almost take it for a second orgasm, goosebumps erupting across your body all over again.

Slowly, gently, Homelander lowers you back down onto the table, covering your body with his.

The two of you stay like that for several long moments, both catching your breath, both equally shocked by the rate at which the situation had escalated.

Eventually, after a deep breath, you say, "So... I like spanking."

"Yeah," Homelander exhales, licking his lips. "Me too."

#oh my god where did this come from. that was filthy.#not me looking around the room after writing this like 'WHO DID THIS?'#sorry i didn't proofread it and i'm not going to #homelander x reader #homelander x you #darling anon #ask and you shall receive #my writing #smut

523 notes · View notes

shadowedcipher · 10 months

Text

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus,

but he talks like a gentleman-

like you imagined when you were young.

🔥

#critical role #critical role spoilers #critical role fanart #bells hells #fearne calloway #tevan klask #cr3 #cr3 spoilers #illustration #digital art #clip studio paint #satyr #druid #paladin #tiefling?? demon man?#franco shadowedking shadowedcipher

201 notes · View notes

likedrotten · 1 year

Text

no, he doesn't look a thing like jesus, but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined when you were young

#UH I CAN EXPLAIN #no i cant #south park #damien thorn #damien south park #gary harrison #damien x gary #gaymien #im not at all normal about them im gonna be real #rotten art

167 notes · View notes

hualian-fic-recs · 2 months

Note

I’ve been searching for a ao3 fic that was Hualian modern au, it’s about Xie Lian being a kindergarten teacher and Banyue was one of his students. Then one day Banyue drew two snakes, saying that Xie Lian would not be lonely any more. Hua Cheng once prepared food/lunch for the class, and Banyue had a special one. Hua Cheng fell ill from delivering the food, and the neighborhood aunties like to matchmake Xie Lian and their kids. If you know this fic, please tell me what it’s called!

I can't find it either! Here are the only fics I found where XL is a kindergarten teacher:

he doesn't look a thing like jesus (but he talks like a gentleman) by cangji. E, 43k, no spoilers. I read this one recently it's great!

The Mysterious Case of Mr. Xie's Safety by rainbowrider1290. G, 3k. Haven't read so idk about spoilers

nothing beyond our ability by bunnylianlian. E, 21k. Haven't read so idk about spoilers

The Flower Of The Night Roamer by FeiXu. Not rated, 35k, WIP. Haven't read so idk about spoilers

#heaven official's blessing #hualian #tgcf #fanfic asks #hualianficrec

39 notes · View notes

ghastlytofu · 8 months

Text

petition for the killers' when you were young to be on every wyllstarion playlist STAT

You sit there in your heartache

Waiting on some beautiful boy to

Save you from your old ways

You play forgiveness

Watch it now, here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus

But he talks like a gentleman

Like you imagined when you were young

#gnawing through my restraints rn #wyllstarion #wyll ravengard #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii

56 notes · View notes

missrayon · 26 days

Text

he doesn't look a thing like jesus but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined when you were young... wow

16 notes · View notes

heavensickness · 3 months

Text

Leander's route will be like. You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways. You play forgiveness, watch it now, here he comes. He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman. etc

#Havent made a leander post in YEARS #leander #touchstarved #things i'm playing

21 notes · View notes

lotusthekat · 11 months

Text

[IDs: Three digital drawings that compose a small comic, using the lyrics from When You Were Young by The Killers, featuring Hunter and Luz. The background is a lavender purple and the lyrics, colored light yellow, are written in cursive.

1) Hunter is smirking, yet injured given his burnt hair strand and the bandage on his head. He's wearing his Golden Guard cloak, and there's brown painted behind him, indicating the original scene from Hunting Palismen. The lyrics read, "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus"

2) Hunter is lowering the face mask he used to hide his identity from Kikimora, also in Hunting Palismen. He shows remorse and vulnerability, and behind him is a starry sky. The lyrics say, "But he talks like a gentleman"

3) Finally, Luz is blushing, enchanted, an aftermath to the previous panel. The lyrics end with, "Like you imagined when you were young". /End IDs]

Happy (early) anniversary to the episode that changed my life forever

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!

Luz and Hunter are not canonically siblings. Hate will be blocked.

P/roship DNI.

#the owl house #toh hunter #luz noceda #lunter #my art #fan art #digital art #artists on tumblr

97 notes · View notes

green-lotus · 2 years

Text

Relationship with Raphael scenarios, pt 1

(i suck at giving titles jesus. this right below is something of a fanfic scenario, except written in form of an ask or just in points, just a situation description regarding some problems to be encountered having Raph as your man. hope someone will enjoy, i plan on producing more. i don't have strength to reread it so here it is)

• So, Raphael is incredibly insecure deep inside that he's not good enough for you. As if that's news

• There's the obvious insecurity when IT comes to the fact what he is and how he can never offer you things any human could, but that's not all of it

• He's also very much aware he doesn't really have that many great personal qualities compared to his brothers, with whom you're also really close. Which is priceless to him, but has its price

• He knows he isn't a naturally charismatic & composed gentleman like Leo, he isn't an insightful, highly intelligent, even if a little awkward thinker like Donnie either, and he doesn't have Mikey's self - acknowledged "dazzling personality" and passion for showmanship, flirt, dance or all other kinds of fun. What does he really have to offer you? Being an awkward grunt who can only really stand in the way of any harm that comes to you? Why would he be the one you choose to be with romantically

• He doesn't really want it, it's not that he has any problems with the rest, but he can't help it to just stand by and watch when you goof around with Mikey or randomly insert himself into conversations when you're discussing some more elaborate matters with Donnie, his doubts just kinda push him into that sort of behavior. And when you vibe with Leo, he used to just stroll by and grab you from the back or put his arm on your shoulder

• And yes, you always smile in the same, special way whenever you see him. Your eyes always light up in a way they don't for any of his brothers and you always reciphrocate the gesture, you place your hand on his or give him a peck on the cheek, always

• But that's simply not enough, he wishes it were, but he's still paranoid

• He's been considering talking to you about it, but he doesn't want to appear straightforward jealous and scare you off, and he's not quite there yet to simply open up and talk about it

• It really doesn't take you long to notice his pattern. And knowing what you know about him, you're trying to understand it, but then he almost forcibly pulls you from a chill conversation with Donnie or his grab hurts when you're having a laugh with Leo

• And you're pissed, more than that, you're furious. You suspect where he's coming from and you're sympathetic, but you ain't taking in shit like that

• Worse than angry, you're scared. You won't let anyone treat you like that, even and especially someone you hold as dear as Raph. But what if he won't be able to restrain himself? What if you won't solve this peacefully? What if that one time, that'll be the serious streak on your relationship and worse, a breaking point? Everything's been so surprisingly well between the two of you

• You tell him you need to talk and confront him alone, far from his brothers' ears. You wish you could be calm but there's no point in pretending

• "What did ya wanna talk about?" He's playing it cool but you can see he knows something's up and is waiting for your move

• You don't hide anything. You tell him it's frankly disgusting what he's doing and that you all knew in the first place relationship with him would mean a close bond with his brothers as well. You love them just as much as he does. They're your brothers too. You're never jealous of time he spends with Mikey or Casey or April for that matter when she comes to visit and you're not around at the moment. How the fuck could you be

• Raph takes it all in, but you can see from his face you've called him out, and he doesn't know what to say. He's got that funny look of confusion and insecurity mixed with irritation coming from the previous two spread all over his face. He can't keep still and doesn't know where to look

• "Just tell me something. Anything. Whatever it is. I'm your girl, Raph, that's not about to change no matter who and which one of the others I talk to or laugh with or vibe with. But i'm not taking in shit like that"

• His gaze stops at you for a second when he hears you stating you're his and you can see a shade of relief in him, but the tension's still heavy

• He grunts, but doesn't say anything constructive, so you try to calm yourself and you give him time

• "Raphael", your own worries kick in. "Look at me"

• So he does. His eyes are so anxious

• "Talk to me, man." You come to him and reach to gently place your hand on his shoulder. He freezes under your touch "What is that about? Just tell me. I'll take it, trust me"

• So he finally breaks and speaks

• "I'm not... jealous, y'know. I ain't angry at you or anything. Uh... I didn't want to insult ya... my girl" A brief smile appears on his lips and you're suddenly reassured a bit yourself

• "Uhum. I know. I assumed you didn't. So...?"

• He breaks from your touch; you give him space, you yourself aren't particularly still in emotional moments either

• He keeps moving for a moment, and then he takes a deep breath and finally suddenly breaks

• "I guess i'm scared! Yeah! I..." he hesitates. "I don't want you to leave me for someone else! I don't like seeing you with someone else... No, that's not right."

• You don't stop looking at him, even though keeping still takes quite some effort at this point

• "Ugh... No. I... "

• He punches the wall behind him.

• "You're scared. You said it. Good. That's all fine bro, really. But...?"

• "I'm scared you'll find someone better than me! Someone better at talking, at having fun, at everything! And you'd deserve them, like hell! I..."

• The tension between you is almost touchable

• Silence keeps on

• "Man, I think I can see what you mean and where it's coming from. I do. But i'm not gonna say IT for you, I need to hear it"

• You decide it'll be worth giving him one more shot. You gently grab his hands, and then place them on his face. His eyes grow soft the moment you do, as you hoped

• "Look... Hey..."

• He pulls you to the ground. You sit by his side, one of his hands around your waist, but you don't move any closer. He hesitates for a moment longer

• "Look... I ain't a gentleman or whatever like Leo. I ain't a genius like Donnie or a... spontaneous baffoon like Mikey. Why... Why do you wanna be with me when even they could offer you better... Things"

• Yea, that's good enough, you suppose

• "Raph..."

• He is silent. You don't really know where to start yourself either.

• "Raph, let me be straightforward with you. I think you'll handle it. And let me finish"

• He takes a deep, uneasy breath again, but nods. He gathers his courage to look at you

• "I'm not gonna be supervised by you, trust me on that one. Just not. It's absolutely fucking delightful how you make your presence known around me and how you mark that i'm with you, but only as long as you do it subtly. Barging on me in a conversation or pulling me from a casual laugh is a fucking no - go. And don't tell me you don't realise it, you're smarter than this"

• You watch him closely, but you don't judge your words, you don't intend to go easy on him in such a matter. It's not your thing to keep him in check, no matter how much you're helpful and supportive of him already

• You can almost smell the abashment and edginess rising in him. No matter

• "That being said, Raph. Look at me"

• So he does. He seems to be on the verge of saying something, but he's holding it in

• "I'm YOUR woman, you stupid turtle. I love your brothers as you do, I like people up above, but I am yours and you never need to worry about that. You're the one I want for me and nothing has changed in that regard"

• And in the blink of an eye, almost all of the anger disappears from his face.

• "Your brothers are great, but you're the one among them who I want in my bed, by my side and the one I have eyes for. 90% of them, say. You're the one who makes me feel special, loved and appreciated. You're the one who makes me melt inside... And out."

• And at this point, he's practically fighting off tears from his eyes.

• "Now should I embarass you further and pretend out of courtesy you're not crying because no of course you're not, and list everything that makes me feel that way for you, or is IT enough for now?"

• He buries his face in your dress and embraces you. At least he isn't violently denying he's tearing up, that's progress

• "Nah. I... I'm good"

• You chuckle, stroking his shell, but you're still not absolutely relieved yourself

• "Look, I... Maybe I don't feel good seeing you with other guys so much... But i didn't want to make you angry"

• "Raphael. I will not be fucking with you being possessive. I... I just won't. But y'know what. How did that shit of yours go. Third most important ninja trait or whatever"

• "...honor"

• "Yeah, sounds about right. Now listen, I may not be a ninja or whateve, but I can tell you this for what little... Some honor I possess. I'm yours, as long as you're mine. And i'm not in habit of saying things like that unless I mean it. And I wouldn't trade you for any normal guy or any of your brothers cause who the fuck else would carry me in his arms through the rooftops of the city by night, and who would fascinate me as much as you do, not any human that's for sure. And it wouldn't be half this much fun with Leo or Donnie, and Mikey's too much of a child, like jesus fucking christ, come on, really?"

• He starts laughing. You're glad

• "So...? Bro, talk to me"

• "Uh - uh. You know... Thank you. I... I'll remember it. What you said"

• "Yeah, do that, for my and your sake, honestly. I love you. I'll tell and show you that however mamy times you need. But don't act like that anymore. I'll bear a few more times but you get the drill"

• "Yeah, and what if..."

• "Mmmm?"

• "What if I'll want to...? What if I'll... Uh, think like that again? When I'll be seeing you with Casey or someone else?"

• "You wait, and then you come to me. You tell me. We'll figure it out"

#tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael #tmnt headcanons #tmnt raph x oc #tmnt raph x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles #bayverse turtles #tmnt oc #tmnt raph relationship #tmnt raph scenarios

172 notes · View notes

thornsnvultures · 2 years

Note

Oi happy birthday darling!!! Us Leo’s gotta stick together! 🖤🖤

I has drabble request 🤭 Best friend Bucky Barnes…first hand job ever 🙃 poor baby needs some relief it’s been too long so he needs some help 🥺

Help him

Uhhhhh did I say 100 words? I guess meant 1k... lmao I couldn't help myself this was such a good prompt 🥺 Thanks for sending it in, I hope you like it! 💖

come join the party!

relations ♡

bucky barnes x fem!bartender!reader

18+ BLOG, MINORS DNI. IF YOU INTERACT AND YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR AGE VISIBLE ON YOUR BLOG YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. 18+ BLOG, MINORS DNI.

"What d'you mean you never? Like...ever?"

Your salacious grin over the countertop nearly makes Barnes choke on his whiskey.

"No, I-," he sets his glass down a little too hard, making the other patrons in the bar turn their heads his way. You can see a faint pink tinge on his stubbled cheeks. "Look can we not talk about this here?"

"Why? You embarrassed? I would've thought a handsome gentleman like you got a handy at the drive-in pictures at least once."

Bucky groans when you toss him a wink.

"Do you always have to be so immature? Yes, I've had relations with women before. It's just been, y'know, a long time since the 30s."

"Had relations? Jesus, Buck, this is why you're not getting laid."

You finish wiping down your section of the bar and yell to your manager in his office that you're done for the night. Bucky waits patiently for you to collect your tips and grab your bag from the break room.

"You don't need to walk me home, Bucky."

"Of course I do. You know how this neighborhood is."

"I can handle myself," you protest as Bucky drapes his leather jacket around your shoulders. It's not cold really but the early rain left a chill in the air.

"What are you gonna do when I actually get a boyfriend who'll walk me home? Wait around at the bar to make sure he does it right?"

"Maybe."

"Bucky. You need to get laid, you're too stressed out," Bucky opens his mouth to speak but your hand lifts to cut him off. "Which, like, I get it. It comes with the territory. But a little stress relief might bring your doomsday clock down a minute."

"What about you then, sweetheart?"

"What about me?"

Bucky's quiet for the entire last block of the walk to your apartment building. You don't want an answer to that question. It's so tempting to know if he feels the same way you have since you made him his first drink. And all the other drinks you make that he keeps coming back for even though he can't get drunk, not anymore.

He stops you at the steps to your building.

"Bucky?" You can see the apprehension on his face. Like he knows the answer to your question will change things. Maybe his lack of an answer already has.

"Do you want to come up?"

---

You're pouring a drink, this time for yourself now that you're off the clock as Bucky toes off his shoes in your entryway. He's been in your modest apartment before but this time feels different. It feels awkward. Bucky sits on your couch like he's afraid of dirtying it and you can't take it anymore.

You throw back your drink in one go and sit next to Bucky on the couch.

"Barnes."

He doesn't say a word, just looks at you. His jacket is on your kitchen table, the muscles of his arms bulge under his t-shirt. Even the black metal of his left arm looks like it's trying to break free from the thin cotton surrounding it.

"Can I?"

Your hand coasts up his jean clad thigh where it's pressed up against yours. His length is clearly outlined against his zipper and the sight sends a thrill through you, running hot down your spine.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to-"

"I know. But I want to."

Bucky's eyes flutter shut and he groans when you palm his dick over his pants. The weight of him against your hand feels so good, you can't waste another second without seeing it.

You feel Bucky's eyes on you as you pull down his zipper and slide his dick out.

"Fuck. You've been holding out on me, Barnes."

Bucky sputters about to say something about your teasing him again, but you don't give him a chance. Your hand is lightly squeezing around his length, your fingers barely touching. His angry, red tip is leaking, running down to meet your grip.

"So big, Barnes. This why you were holding out on getting your rocks off? Worried you might scare some poor dame?"

You tease him with more light strokes, getting him nice and wet with the precum oozing from him. The urge to get a taste is strong but with the way Bucky's legs are shaking, you don't want to overwhelm the poor man.

"This feel good?"

You're close, practically in his ear as you stroke him with your right hand.

"Y-yes. So good."

You hum in content and pick up your pace, making sure to give that spot under his head an extra tight squeeze.

Bucky's groans are getting louder, rattling through you like the rumble of an oncoming freight train.

You stop your ministrations only for a moment to drop a long line of spit on his dick, coating his length and easing your fast paced glide up and down. The slick sounds make your pussy pulse, wondering how he'd sound pumping into your warm, wet channel instead.

"Doing so well for me, Buck. You gonna come? Give me that big load? I want it, Bucky."

Bucky comes suddenly with a shout, spurting white hot all the way up his black tee.

"Oh fuck."

You pump him a few more times, your hand coated in his spunk that's still, somehow, dribbling out.

"Oh fuck is right," you release him, lifting a finger to your lips to sample his flavor. "So fucking good, baby."

Bucky's head is thrown back on the couch, his breathing beginning to come back to normal. He watches you as you clean your hand with your tongue, making sure to get every last drop.

"Feel better, Bucky?"

"Not until you kiss me."

So you do, and after you clean up you spend the rest of the night kissing him, showing Bucky just the beginning of everything he missed out on in the last 70 years.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes headcannon #bucky barnes x plus size!reader #28on28 #my fics

199 notes · View notes

neutron-stars-collision · 4 months

Text

No, but The Killers went off with: "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman. Like you imagined when you were young"

#it's such a good line #personal bs #the killers

7 notes · View notes

igotmyhashpipee · 2 months

Text

"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he, talks like a gentleman; like you imagined when you, were youngggggg"

#the killers #actual bop #I blast music so I don't blast myself <3 #gentleman #I love this song frfr #tumblr #stuff #idk

4 notes · View notes

mxinferno · 1 year

Text

I don't think that my standards are too high I'm literally just looking for a guy who doesn't look a thing like jesus but he talks like a gentleman like I imagined when I was young

#the killers #when you were young

38 notes · View notes

our-flag-means-love · 1 year

Text

alright, so i made this playlist with the target audience of Specifically Me, but if anyone else loves both ofmd and the killers as much as i do, may i present:

Ed x Stede, as told by The Killers

15 songs, 59 minutes in total.

(also on youtube, if you don't use spotify or aren't able to listen in order, which i highly recommend)

i wanted to challenge myself to tell the story of their relationship (throughout s1 + a bit of hopeful speculation) using only songs by the band that's been rotting my brain for the past year, and i think i was able to do it surprisingly cohesively.

a brief explanation and lyric highlight for each choice can be found under the cut.

(all lyrics are taken from genius, in case some don't match what you hear or don't match what spotify says)

1. boy

this could really be read as either a stede childhood song or an ed childhood song. both? both is good.

these streets / weren't meant to house / jet-fueled engine dreams

2. When You Were Young

hoo boy, if there was ever a song about ed having religious trauma.

he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentleman / like you imagined when you were young

3. I Can't Stay

sorry to go straight from one of their best songs to one of their... not best songs. but yes, stede leaving mary.

in the dark, for a while now / i can't stay, very far / i can't stay much longer / riding my decision home

4. The Man

the man, the myth, the legend, Blackbeard™, with a head made of smoke and all that.

i got skin in the game / i got a household name / i got news for you baby, you're looking at the man

5. Flesh And Bone

except, oops, he's actually a person, too. and his relationship with his near-mythical persona is a complicated one.

what are you afraid of? / and what are you made of? / flesh and bone / and i'm running out of time

6. Tidal Wave

they're falling in love, your honor.

you say this life has given you nothing / you got another thing coming

7. Andy, You're A Star

uh oh, ed's prioritizing love and happiness over his career and his fame! izzy sure isn't happy about that.

in a car with a girl / promise me she's not your world / 'cause andy, you're a star

8. Mr. Brightside

yeah, i'm sorry, i know this song is overplayed, but i had to. here comes calico jack, my beloved dumpster fire, to separate our boys.

jealousy / turning saints into the sea / swimming through sick lullabies / choking on your alibis

9. Neon Tiger

ah, here they come, that good ol' english navy looking for stede.

run neon tiger, there's a price on your head / they'll hunt you down and gut you / i'll never let 'em touch you

10. Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

ed's time away from stede is pretty dang miserable. and for this song's eerie ending, picture his smile right before he pushes lucius overboard.

before you say goodbye / leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly

11. Everything Will Be Alright

stede, my sweet optimistic boy, you have no idea what you're returning to.

and you don't need to compromise / i'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes / i never knew, i never knew / but it's alright

12. The Rising Tide

angry! ed! breakup! song!

before life and the dream collide / 'cause the truth's gonna come and cut me open wide / and you can't escape the rising of the tide

13. Have All The Songs Been Written?

stede's apology.

i just need one more to get through to you / i can't take back what i've done wrong / i just need one more

14. All These Things That I've Done

ed coming to terms with his past, his present, and his future.

these changes ain't changing me / the cold-hearted boy i used to be

15. Bones

they've reunited for good, and now they fuck. (seriously, the following are probably my favorite lines but they don't nearly do justice to how horny this song is.)

there's someone calling / an angel whispers my name / but the message relayed is the same: / "wait 'til tomorow, you'll be fine"

if you've read this far, thank you so much for indulging this intersection of my two biggest brainrots of 2022. for making it to the end, i'll reward you with the opportunity to Behold the kiss again:

#my brain is full of worms who are all riding on a sam's town record as it rotates and i'm making it everyone's problem #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd playlist #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbeard #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #ed x stede

17 notes · View notes