#/j of course but like 3 million views is insane
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The Bidding is finally at 3 whole views!!!!!!
#/j of course but like 3 million views is insane#views/whatever Spotify calls it. listens maybe?#3 whole million tho bro. crazy#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#moss post
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The Avatar’s sister
Bolin x reader(korra’s sister)
2k words and it’s kinda poorly edited
a/n there’s some cuss words and some violence?
“We were just looking for the bathroom and we got lost!”
“Ah the old I had to pee excuse you know i'm sick and tired…” I don’t catch the rest of what he's saying because I see a teenage boy dressed in pro bending gear or as I like to call him our way out of this situation. I motion for him to come over praying to the spirits that he can read the room.
“There you two are, I've been looking everywhere for you two! It's alright Toza there with me” Up close I can see that it's actually Bolin the earth bender for the fire ferrets. Spirits can my day get any better. I've seen a few pro bending matches before and listened to even more. One of the few perks of being the avatar’s sister. While she spends her days training on air temple island I spend my days wandering the city my favorite pastime being watching pro bending matches.Spirits he looks even better up close
“Yeah were with him” I say flashing the man a million watt smile and he responds with
“so you see we’re together” Oh I like where this is going. Before I can respond Korra replies
“well not together together” speak for yourself Korra. I'm more than happy to be together together with him. He starts to stammer embarrassed by Korra words so I try to save all of us
“You see Toza Bolin and I are together and my sister was just tagging along with us.” Please let this work, if not Tenzin is going to kill me for letting korra go out with me.
“Ah I don't care I got work to do” the man begins to walk away and I pull the stammering duo out of the room before either of them could blow our cover. I turn around to see a blushing Bolin and a confused looking Korra, I really need to teach her how to pick up on social cues
“I’m y/n, a big fan of yours, so Bolin why don't you show the two of us around” I say while grabbing his bicep motioning for him to lead. Bolin showed us around for a while before leading us into an area overlooking the arena “So what do you think best seats in the house huh?” It really is you can see the whole arena from up here and it's much less crowded than the seats in the stadium plus there isn't a guy as easy on the eyes as Bolin down there.
“Oh absolutely the view just keeps getting better and better” it's not often that I get to meet people as just y/n, not the avatar's sister, or korra's younger sister. It's nice to be myself around someone knowing that they're not using me to get to the avatar. Besides from what I've seen Bolin is too sweet and innocent to do that anyways.
“Unbelievable this place is even more amazing than I imagined” I let out a small chuckle at Korra's words. It's nice to see her getting excited at the smallest things, it shows me that she can still be a kid and not burdened by the weight of the world. It makes sneaking out and a possible chewing out from Tenzin worth it “Names Bolin by the way”
“Korra” “I know” they both look at me waiting for an explanation “well i'm just a huge fan of yours” I pause “well the fire ferrets in general”
“Psst Bolin”
“Yeah”
“I told you you have to stop bringing your crazy fangirls in here before the matches get them out of here” His older brother Mako whispers this to him Korra and I both hear due to the fact that they suck at whispering. It almost hurts my feelings that we aren't the only ones he brought back here but then again he's not the first guy i've flirted with here. Though he is the first guy i've flirted with that seems so...innocent.
“Aw c'mon Mako I kinda promised them that they could stay but I got a good feeling about them there's something special about the two of them. I know it” Well he's half right there. I wonder why he lied to his brother so we could stay. He never promised us we could stay back here. Some part of me hopes it's because he's interested in me too. “Come here I want you to meet my brother Mako” he says eagerly pulling me towards him
“Mako! Wow I heard you play on the radio” oh boy she's totally fangirling. I personally don’t see what's so interesting about Mako or his brooding douchebag act “cmon Bolin we’re up” Mako says completely ignoring Korra walking past her, see brooding douchebag. Korra not taking the hint turns to Bolin “or I could meet him later”
“yeah he gets real focused before a match anyways wish me luck” his comment makes me laugh. Something about the positive energy he radiates is infectious. He jogs away, I yell “good luck Bolin” followed by “good luck knock em out” from Korra
“So do i have to be the one to say mako is bad news or i have to let you figure it out yourself” I cross my arms giving her my best ‘i know better than you’ look. While Korra may be the older sister, only by 11 months might I add, she doesn't act it. I blame all of her teachers and instructors for never letting her live when she was younger. Now that she's basically an adult seeing the world for the first time she's very sheltered.
“He is not bad news y/n you heard bolin he was just focused for the match! Besides, did you see him?” let her figure it out for herself it is.
“Yes and i also saw you drooling at him” I tease
“Oh please like you were any better with Bolin you were practically throwing yourself at him” these are the best moments when we can just goof off.
“First off I do not throw myself at anyone, he's just sweet and insanely hot. Secondly which one of us actually has experience with boys” she opens her mouth to defend herself before quickly shutting it. Got her there. “Exactly now pay attention the match is starting” We both turn and lean on the balcony watching the start of the match.
“The rookie ferrets came out of nowhere and made it further than anyone expected this season but tonight they face their toughest test yet folks” we watch the two teams trading back and forth blows until the fire ferrets ultimately win with Mako knocking all 3 members of the opposing team into the water. I turn to Korra to ask how her first ever pro bending match was but stopping when I see her and Mako holding each other's gazes.
“Yes! Whoo did you see that one more win and were in the championship tournament!” Bolin yells running into the room skidding to a halt in front of me “so what'd you think y/n?” he looks down at me trying to conceal his excitement waiting for me to answer him looking happier than i've ever seen him-if that's possible.
“You guys were amazing Bolin!” I practically yell pulling him into a quick hug.
“Bolins got some moves huh?”
“You could say that again” Before Bolin can say that again Korra grabs him by his shirt pulling him towards her
“That was amazing” then korra promlety pushed him away as Mako and Hasook approach arguing about the last match
“You did more harm than good out there, you almost cost us the match!”
“We won didn't we?”
“Barely”
“Get off my case pal” Hasook yells before storming out of the room.This doesn't put a damper on korra's mood though as she addresses Mako “You guys were amazing out there especially you mr hat trick” Mako yet again walks right past her him barely paying her any attention to her half heartly saying “oh your still here”
“What gives you the right to be such an ass mr hat trick?” I say coming to my sister's defence. Pro bender or not it doesn't give him the right to be a jerk. I even bet I could beat him sparring. He's not even good enough to be this much of a jerk.
“Your good do you think you could show me some tricks?” no no no korra that wasn't the deal I sneak you out we watch one pro bending match and we go back to air temple island.
“Yeah sure absolutely i'm just not sure how my earth bending might translate to your water bending but we'll figure it out” This cant get any worse if she lets them know she's the avatar we're toast. No ones supposed to know the avatars in republic city
“Won't be a problem-”
“korra's right it won't be a problem because we really have to go-”
“because i'm an earth bender” great this is j ust great.
“Im sorry no no i didn't mean to assume ya know cause i was just figuring since well with your water tribe getup that you two were well water bender”
“Korras just messing with you of course were both water-”
“You're right, I'm a water bender too and fire bender” social. Cues. Korra.
“Hmm hmm i'm very confused right now” Bolin
“Your the avatar and i'm an idiot” Mako
“Both are true” Korra. I throw myself into the nearest chair running my hands through my y/h/c hair.I wonder if I beg for forgiveness if Tenzin will still ground us for the rest of forever
“I need a drink” I say, completely ignoring Bolin’s freak out about Korra being the avatar I've heard it all before. Just like that my chances with Bolin have gone out the window no one has ever liked me more than my sister she's the avatar I can't compete with that .I never will be able to.
Nonetheless I follow the brothers into the training room and sit on the stairs looking as happy to be there as Mako does. I don't pay much attention to Bolin and Korra training “so mr hat trick is there any reason why you're so prickly or are you always like this?”
He scoffs “no i just don’t appreciate the two of you showing up like that besides your sister is a piece of work”
“No kidding hat trick don't you know being the avatar comes with a hero complex?” Okay so he's not as bad as I thought.
“Well it's getting late so i'm going to turn in but you kids have fun”
“Speaking of Korra we really do need to be going” I speak in a tone to let her know it wasn't an option.I stand up brushing my water tribe robes off “it really was great seeing you Bolin but we have to go”
“Sorry my sister is being such a wet blanke-” “now Korra”
“Hey um y/n could you hang back for a second” here it goes. Is your sister single? Can you set me up?
“What do you need Bolin?”
“You mean other than you in my life” we both cringe after he says that.
“That has to be the worst pick up line i've ever heard”
He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly “heh yeah it wasn't really my A material but the real reason i wanted to talk to you was well i was mostly just wondering well we have a match next”
“Bolin spit it out i'm sure it isn't that bad”
“Do you want to come to our match tomorrow then get some food after” he looks at the ground playing with his fingers. Where was the confident Bolin I met earlier?
“Yes”
“Well it was a stupid idea anyways I shoul- wait yes? Really! I uh I mean of course you would want to get food with me” maybe he's more insecure than I initially thought. But then again people do have layers.
I kiss him on the cheek turning away from him and walking to the door so he couldn't see the blush on my face “I'll see you tomorrow Bolin”
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How BTS Paved the way
Okay so basically I wrote this as my JR paper for high school. I decided to write about BTS because I was allowed to pick what I wanted to write about and it's supposed to be a research/opinion page. It basically talks about what makes BTS so special and different from the rest. Its 16 pages long with citations and yeah that’s it basically. Please enjoy
@BTSCRAZED on IG AND TWT
The Entrepreneurs of Change: Why BTS is Different from the Rest
They’ve sold over ten million albums, sold out entire tours including their upcoming stadium tour with over one million attendees in a matter of 5 minutes, hold five world records and now known as the biggest boy band in the world. They are BTS and they paved the way for a new genre of music known as K-pop. This band has proved to be more than just a generic boy band. They have played a big role in a wave of new music and trends, created a strong fanbase who they’ve taught important life lessons like self-love and acceptance, broken many records, gain popularity all over the truly become the biggest boy band in the world but how come a boyband from one country (South Korea) managed to reach people around the globe?
First, let’s talk about what is K-pop and Korean pop culture? “They call it Hallyu, the Korean wave: the idea that South Korean pop culture has grown in prominence to become a major driver of global culture, seen in everything from Korean dramas on Netflix to Korean skincare regimens dominating the cosmetics industry to delicious Korean tacos on your favorite local menu. And at the heart of Hallyu is the ever-growing popularity of K-pop — short, of course, for Korean pop music” (Vox). K-pop has recently become very popular all over the world especially in the U.S. K-pop is often used as an umbrella term for all types of Korean music popular outside of Korea, so the genre can consist of rock bands, hip hop, indie, and basically any other type of music. The K-pop genre consists of main groups though there are solo artists who most of the time had previously been part, of other bands. Although you probably don’t know you have probably already been exposed to this wave especially if you visit Twitter regularly or were on YouTube in 2012 through 2013 when the song “Gangnam Style” by PSY came out. K-pop fans have a lot of power and can start trending thing in a matter of hours depending on the popularity of the idol they are promoting. Korean pop culture is very different than American. It’s like a whole new world with new rules, vocabulary and just way of being fans. It’s all very well planned and based around main fanservice. Periodically or for special holiday and events, idols what K-pop fans call celebrities to have comebacks – which is when they release new albums and start a new concept for their music or performances- or release special packages and collaborations like makeup, photo books, concert DVDs and collectibles that they fans can buy. Along with those new comebacks or packages they hold fanservice events like music shows and fan meets. That is one of the biggest reasons K-pop is so popular and has a big fanbase. This is one of the biggest reasons I think that K-pop more specifically BTS has become so popular outside of Korea. But who is BTS?
Who is BTS? First, what does BTS even mean? BTS in Korean is Bangtan Sonyeondan meaning bulletproof boy scouts but in 2017 they officially changed their name to beyond the scene because they wanted fans to see beyond than just the scene in front of them. They are one of the most popular boy bands in the world at the moment BTS has been called next generation leader by Time magazine and “have grown beyond the bounds of traditional K-pop acts, making a splash everywhere from Chile to California. Their devoted followers styled as “ARMY,” have kept them trending on social media at most public appearances.” (Time). They hold the world record for most views in 24 hours with 78 million views on their newest song “Boy with luv” from their newest album Map of The Soul: Persona and at the same time broke the record for the fastest music video to reach 100 million views broken at one and a half days since its release. Each of the seven members is adored by thousands of people all over the world. Kim Namjoon goes by the stage name RM is the leader, producer, and one of 3 rappers of the group he is the only fluent English speaker and the first member to join the band. Next is Kim Seokjin or just Jin the eldest member and vocalist of the group he plays the role of the dad of the group though originally, he wanted to be an actor he has grown a lot and is now one of the best vocalists. Up Next is Min Yoongi or Suga the main rapper and producer very well known for his quiet yet savage personality. Then there’s Jung Hoseok aka J-hope he’s one of the main dancers, producers, and rappers of the group he is also the happy virus of the group he is everyone’s angel and hope. Now for the three Maknaes which in Korean means the youngest members of the group we have Park Jimin who’s is very well known for his powerful yet elegant looks that can capture both female and male attention. He is one of the main vocalists and dancer of the group. Followed by Kim taehyung or V which is his stage name. Who is another powerful visual and was actually voted most handsome face in the world in 2017 and also ranked #5 in 2018 he is also a vocalist of the group. Last but not least is Jeon Jeongguk or just Jungkook the youngest member yet unspeakably talented, main dancer, main vocalist and center face of the group who was also placed #2 in the most handsome faces in the world 2018. Together Those seven men hold so much power they’re not only all good looking but all extremely talented in different things that when put together make the best boyband in the world. They have the power to sell out anything with just a single tweet it's insane. These seven boys didn’t just become famous overnight they made their debut but where were ignored and judged harshly until they broke through the charts in 2017 with all their hard work and the help of ARMY.
BTS is very well known because of their huge and very dedicated fanbase that will do anything to get them the recognition they deserve. This is because they have proven to be more than just a group of good-looking men that can sing, rap and dance. They try to share positive messages like self-love, touch on delicate topics like suicide and depression as well as being big supporters of the LGBT community by breaking gender-role buy wearing feminine clothes and makeup and advocating equality regardless of sexuality, gender, and race. All of this through music, videos, and campaigns that they launch. First, I want to talk about how they use their music and content to shine a light on controversial topics like mental health, sexuality, gender identity, growing up, finding yourself, and even political topics. Almost every music video that BTS release follows this storyline about a group of teenage boys and their struggles in growing up and finding the right path while facing different obstacles. The teenage boys are played by BTS of course and the story actually starts out from the very beginning of their career even though we had only figure out it was a storyline during a later era in 2017. The story begins with a group of rebellious teenagers who don’t like to follow the rules who are looking for acceptance and love which they get from each other. Each character hides their own demon and dark past. Namjoon the leader of the group of friend struggles with not know who he is and what he’s going with his life. Jin who is supposed to be the most mature member struggled with the fact that he’s growing up and being who his father wants him to be who forces him to betray his friends and leave them. Yoongi suffers from depression after his mother died in a fire and he couldn’t save her and holds himself guilty for and attempts to commit suicide. Hoseok was abandoned by his mother at an amusement park when was a small child and suffers from PTSD and also has narcolepsy which forces him to live in a hospital the majority of the time. Jimin is very similar to Hoseok they know each other the best because they were both forced to live in a hospital. Jimin suffers from abandonment issues but in the sense that he thinks everyone hates him and he isn’t good enough and also has seizures with an unknown and also tries to commit suicide at one point. Taehyung is a young delinquent who always seems to get in trouble. He isn’t a bad person he just has a bad life with an abusive father which leads him to murder his father one night trying to protect his sister. Then there’s Jungkook he’s the youngest he’s just trying to see his friends who are more like his brothers since they have basically raised him happy. He eventually realizes he can’t have the happiness or euphoria he wants and ends up committing suicide as well. That part of the story takes place during their albums called The Most Beautiful Moments in Life part one, The Most Beautiful Moments in Life part 2, Young Forever, and Wings. Then continues in their Love Yourself series. Which is when they try and find a way to reverse time and fix all their mistakes or stop themselves from splitting up and killing themselves. I feel like this story is something that you really wouldn’t expect from a boyband of any kind. Which why I think it's so important and makes BTS special and different. What boy bands do you know that have tried to even touch on the topic on this level? Apart from incorporating important mental health and life issues. They have also encouraged people to show who they are and speak themselves. On November 1st, 2017 the group launched their Love Myself campaign in partnership with UNICEF. This campaign was created as an anti-violence campaign but, in my opinion, it has grown to be much bigger than that. Over the last two years, I have watched as BTS has grown and spread their message teaching everyone that they don’t need to hide who they are and shouldn’t be afraid who they are to the world. This message has even led them to speak at a united nations conference in New York making them the first ever Korean Band to do so. The leader of the band Namjoon who fans have since then called their “President” made a very touching speech on how to find yourself. In the speech, Namjoon said, “After releasing the “Love Yourself” albums and launching the “Love Myself” campaign, we started to hear remarkable stories from our fans all over the world, how our message helped them overcome their hardships in life and start loving themselves. These stories constantly remind us of our responsibility. So, let’s all take one more step. We have learned to love ourselves, so now I urge you to speak yourself. I would like to ask all of you. What is your name? What excites you and makes your heart beat? Tell me your story. I want to hear your voice, and I want to hear your conviction. No matter who you are, where you’re from, your skin color, gender identity: speak yourself. Find your name, find your voice by speaking yourself. I’m Kim Nam Jun, RM of BTS. I’m a hip-hop idol and an artist from a small town in Korea. Like most people, I made many mistakes in my life. I have many faults and I have many fears, but I am going to embrace myself as hard as I can, and I’m starting to love myself, little by little. What is your name? Speak Yourself!". This is one of my favorite speeches Namjoon has ever given as a leader. I’m not going to say that they’re the only artist to ever say this, but they the apart of the few to have such a big impact and influence so many people. I’m also not going to tell you that because of them I have started to love myself, but I can say that I have learned to speak for myself and for what I do believe in. I have spoken out a lot about who I am where I come from like my sexuality and my immigrant background. All the things that the old me wouldn’t have done. But BTS has created a protective bubble that allows me to speak out and find more people like me be happier than I used to be. Because of I have become someone different who I like more than who I used to be. BTS have really set the stage for this new genre of music. Though they aren’t the first they are the only ones to have truly made an impact. The reason this one band from South Korea out of hundreds of other is because of their extremely strong a big fanbase. Over 10 million fans can’t be wrong.
Like I mentioned previously BTS’ fanbase is called A.R.M.Y. which stands for Adorable representative MCs for Youth and their Job is to spread the message BTS is trying to give and this Army is extremely dedicated I mean extremely dedicated to their job. Ages ranging from 6 years old to 60 years old BTS is for everyone to enjoy. Their fanbase is all over the world promoting their boys. They spend hours every day creating a thing for BTS a promoting BTS through any way they can. On an interview for Billboard, an Army said, "We want to see them break records and write history." And that’s exactly what we are working for. There are thousands of fan account that are run on twitter an Instagram alone and I’m one of them. The point of these fan account it’s to keep the rest of the fanbase updated, create content, promote BTS, and recruited a new member for the fanbase. This is exactly what I do on my fan account every day on my fan account and literally any chance I can anywhere else. The mission is to promote and educate everyone about BTS this raises their popularity and success. BTS fans are extremely dedicated to them for many different reasons. Some for their looks, others for their catchy music and of course for their message. “Their message is beyond just making good music. They talk about social issues. They stand for more than your typical boy band would stand for. I think that’s really important for people my age and the younger generation to really understand. Everything on social media, you kind of get desensitized to everything out there. But BTS brings it to the forefront. A lot of things that people younger than me or my age wouldn't care about or know about, they find out about because BTS cares about those things. That really sets them apart for me in comparison to anyone else out in the industry.” says Christine Gee 27-year-old BTS ARMY for Billboard. I totally agree with her joined the fandom for the very same reason. A lot of people think that because their speaking in a different language their message is unimportant, and people don’t care but we do we translate and decipher the meaning behind everything they say and that’s the truly important part. These boys have voices too and that’s what army is here to promote. Doing that is its own process alone as well.
The process is very complicated, but we figure out the most efficient way to promote them however we can. Take BTS’ new album for example first we take everything we know and piece it together like a puzzle. Which is a part of the idea of looking beyond the scene. Like I mentioned before they have a storyline to their videos. We had already figured out it’s a storyline and every comeback they add a new part or chapter. So, we spend the 6 months between each album piecing the story together and creating theories and trending them on twitter so even while they are away they continue to be relevant. Which is very important in all fandoms and I believe that this fandom is the most active. I've been a ton of other fanbases and it gets boring eventually. We get bored and run out content, but the army is different they're always creating new memes or theories keeping the content relevant. Once the comeback was confirmed they do many things they promoted it in every tweet they could and made sure to trend it then started setting new goals as well as participating in new activities released by BTS’ company. For the next month, Army spent all their free time trying to find even clues for the new comeback and preordering the album until we reach whatever goal we set for themselves this time we reached 2 million presales in the first 24 hours. Then they set goals for the music video and album streams the goal this time was to beat any previous record we had set so we settled on one hundred million views in 24 hours while the Korean fans who are called K-diamond army and Japanese fans the J-jewels were asleep every other army would stream the music video repeatedly. The American fanbase would buy single songs while the European armies would buy the whole album, so we could get the individual songs on the album on charts and then the full album all while still watching and sharing the new music video. That we get the album to be number one in more than 80 countries as well as making sure that the video and every trending tag on twitter are BTS related in order to capture more audience. Once the other armies were awake and together they set up street promotions by buying billboards and decorating train carts promoting BTS. That all was just for a new album. Every other day army promotes BTS by donating in their names. Every time it one of the members birthday Army donates to a cause. For this year for Suga’s one of the rapper’s birthday a hundred of army donated blood under his name. For other members, we would adopt endangered species under their names and save those animals. they do things like this because they don’t just want them to be well known but also because they want them to be known for good deed. Of course, BTS themselves also pay parts in these kinds of projects. One of the members J-Hope recently donated 250 Million Won which is over $200,000 just for scholarships for female students. They also normally don’t like when we buy them gifts so why not spend money on a good cause. It’s our job, in the end, we are their representatives we have to make them look good. Like I mentioned before I had been a part of many other big Fanbases and I have never seen this amount of dedication or activity. Not even the Directioners fans of One Direction the who previously were biggest boy band in the world. I feel like this type of dedication has been part of their rise to fame. The amount of time and loyalty they put in is like no other.
Many people argue that army is a very toxic and aggressive fanbase because of how dedicated we are to promote BTS and sometimes can start fights for being too dedicated with fans of other groups by boasting of our success and achievements. Other times is for being too dedicated for example in many occasions interview misphrase or say things criticize them harshly and Army goes on a rampage against them. For example, Richard Lloyd Parry who is a British foreign correspondent and writer. Parry interviewed BTS and made an insensitive comment about one of the members Namjoon who is the only fluent English speaker in the group English. Of course, Army wasn't happy at all and started to tweet hate at Parry and forced him to apologize publicly because of the insensitive comment. Army said very harsh thing which I witnessed on twitter thought it was very harsh but I believe that he deserved it not only cause I’m army and I support BTS until my last breath but because if this was said to any non-English speaker I would be upset especially since English isn't my first language either its really upsetting when someone underestimates your hard work because you speak differently. In an article about why BTS are way too dedicated and must be stopped it says “BTS fans are young, and youthful adoration isn’t meant to be measured or sensible. Those teenagers you see in floods of tears at Beatles concerts? Not measured, but joyous and warm, a life-affirming testament to the power of pop culture. But that passion, combined with the facelessness of social media, has given rise to something ugly and extreme, aggression that sullies the band’s name. The BTS ARMY marches on a message that is exclusionary, intolerant of others. You wonder if BTS are fearful of their own, intense fanbase.” (NME). I don't agree nor disagree with this quote cause I myself am one of those extremely dedicated fans. I agree that the pressure can get to the boys and all I care about is their happiness and wellbeing the last thing I want to do is hurt them and make them feel bad or ashamed but then again BTS and army have a very strong connection and they always express their love for us the same way we express our love for them. I believe the reason that army acts like this is because BTS has always been put under everyone’s else and now they are finally getting recognition and we won’t let anyone ruin that for ashough criticism is great and everyone has a right to their opinions army strongly believe in the phrase if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all we understand when you say that the music isn't your type and it’s not for you that totally understandable but if you come to us with “BTS sucks they don't even speak English why do you like them they look like girls” you're basically signing your death wish. So yes, we are aggressive but without Army, BTS would literally be unknown because people are ignorant and unfair for who they pick to like. By promoting them this way they have proven so many people wrong and have made BTS proud. Army has made BTS the powerful people that they are today.
BTS is breaking more records than other any other foreign artist in the U.S. but why? There are thousands of other Bands in all kind of languages, but they aren’t making the same impact? I honestly think it’s because of their fanbase and the way that they promote themselves. There is a formula to be the biggest boyband in the world. First, you need good music with a message that people want to hear. Many artists nowadays like to either talk about sex or drugs. BTS chose to instead choose to talk about self-love and acceptance but at the same time making their music fun and energetic. Next you need to promote it this can come in many ways BTS chooses to release a “comeback trailer” which is what American artist calls a single before the full album comes out they also release photoshoot sets that connect to the concept of the album to get fans excited to buy all the album typically one album comes with one version of the photo shoot and there are typically four different photo shoots so as a good fan you would want to buy all four raising the album preorders and sales. Speaking of fans, you need a big fanbase you need an audience to share it and watch it that’s where army comes in like I previously talked about we promote BTS any chance we can and divide up the streams in order to get them to trend in as many places as possible and beat as many records as possible. That’s how you become the biggest boy band in the world. Now you’re probably asking yourself okay but so many artists do that how come only BTS is getting all the attention. My answer to that is luck I believe they were lucky that so many people grow to like them, and they really do create amazing music that I believe many people can relate to something another artist may be doing. For example, BTS is made up of rappers, vocalist and dancers all with different styles, for example, one rapper is more into hip hop while the other Is more into RnB and the other is straight rap. Same with the vocalist part is pop the other part is a ballad and sometimes even rock. All different types that can reach different people and when you put them together everyone can enjoy at least a little bit of it. in comparison, you take a big artist like let’s say Drake who is a rapper very popular with today’s youth who into rap the same with Ariana Grande who makes pop music typically popular with the youth only reaching one type of audience. While BTS has all these different genres making more open to different groups of people. Which is very important because with a little of everything you get a lot and that’s what makes BTS special. They get a little bit of everything and when that comes together it creates something big.
Now you’re probably telling yourself I understand that they’re popular in America and different from American artist but what makes them different from other artists in Korea. First, let's talk about what the entertainment companies or record labels in Korea look like. Before BTS’ big success there was the “Big Three” a term used when talking about the three most successful record labels in South Korea. The big three includes SM entertainment which still is home to the biggest artist in the K-pop industry, JYP interment who also is very big and has some of the best artists in my opinion and lastly YG interpatient which has a lot of new talent. BTS comes from a small company called Bighit entertainment was essentially broke up until BTS success and is only home to now 4 different artists. But now the tables have turned and with the help of BTS bight has surpassed the big three by bringing in billions of dollars just from BTS related sales. But how? BTS Isn’t the first group to make it to the U.S. and stay on top. We all remember PSY who came from SM entertainment Back in 2013 who was really successful and the first Korean artist to become a global phenomenon. “Gangnam Style was phenomenal, but PSY’s persona was consumed as a character, not as an artist,” Choi says. “He didn’t have a strong fan base like other idol groups, but [US promoter] Scooter Braun found him marketable and introduced him to the American mass media. Despite his long career and musical talent, Psy was depicted in the United States as a hilarious, thus non-threatening, Asian male stereotype.” (SCMP). I agree with this yes PSY was huge and everyone was crazy for him but in American pop culture, he was a one-hit wonder. He did make more music which I absolutely loved and is honestly a big part of K-pop culture except no one outside of the K-pop fandom know about it and that’s the problem. The same thing happened with a boy band called Big Bang and before that all in 2009 a less popular girl group called the Wonder Girls who had made it into billboard charts and even toured with the Jonas brother in 2009. All those bands had tried but failed to stay popular in the U.S. afterward. After that, no other band had tried promoting like that in the U.S. until BTS appeared in the charts in 2017 and managed to stay there. Something that no other Korean artist has done in a long time. After that BTS started to pave the way for other Korean bands like NCT, Black Pink, and EXO on talk shows and award shows. They did what no other band was doing, and they didn’t even come from one of the big entertainment companies that exist in South Korea. Korean artist themselves have even agreed to this idea. A former member of the Wonder Girls and literally the biggest solo artist in Korean right now Sunmi mentioned BTS in one of her interviews when told that her work with the wonder girls had paved the way for K-pop in the United States. She replied “No BTS did” I find this so amazing because as a K-pop fan I am telling she is and OG she’s the first of the first a legend in K-pop books. For her to deny her part in the path of K-pop today and give BTS credit for their work is amazing. Army themselves couldn’t believe it but we totally agree with her. Though they weren’t the first to start the pave the path into popularity in the U.S. they did finish paving the way for a new artist to come.
In conclusion, seven Korean boys are now the biggest band in the world. Paving the way for many new artists to come and becoming global superstars. They’re doing this in many different ways. For example, using their popularity to shine a light on important controversial topics, having extremely dedicated fans and lastly for making great music for almost anyone. BTS are truly the entrepreneurs of change.
Works Cited
“BTS Pave Way for K-Pop Golden Age in the U.S, Doing What Psy Couldn't.” South China Morning Post, 20 July 2018, www.scmp.com/culture/music/article/2127984/bts-pave-way-k-pop-golden-age-us-achieving-what-psy-and-wonder-girls.
“BTS Speech at the United Nations UNICEF.” Performance by Namjoon Kim, YouTube, UNICEF, 24 Sept. 2018, https://youtu.be/oTe4f-bBEKg
“Five Ways BTS Changed the World of Pop Music.” Evening Standard, 12 Apr. 2019, www.standard.co.uk/go/london/music/bts-map-of-the-soul-persona-ways-changed-pop-music-kpop-a4110786.html.
Bassett, Jordan. “Why the BTS Army Must Be Stopped.” NME, NME, 18 Oct. 2018, www.nme.com/blogs/we-need-to-talk-about-the-bts-army-2389994.
Bruner, Raisa. “Everything to Know About K-Pop Group BTS.” Time, Time, 11 Oct. 2018, time.com/collection-post/5418827/bts-members/
Herman, Tamar. “Meet the Fans of BTS: Profiles of American ARMY.” Billboard, 29 Sept. 2017, www.billboard.com/articles/columns/k-town/7981702/meet-fans-bts-profiles-american-army.
Kolgraf, Jackie. “How Fans of BTS, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift & More Are Changing Music Marketing.” Billboard, 15 Feb. 2018, www.billboard.com/articles/business/8099836/fan-armies-bts-beyonce-taylor-swift-music-marketing.
Litovsky, Dina. “40,000 BTS Fans Can't Be Wrong.” Vulture, 10 Oct. 2018, www.vulture.com/2018/10/bts-and-the-army.html.
Romano, Aja. “How K-Pop Became a Global Phenomenon.” Vox, Vox, 26 Feb. 2018, www.vox.com/culture/2018/2/16/16915672/what-is-kpop-history-explained.
#bts#army#bts essay#bts power#bts paved the way#kpop#idol#btsforever#bangtanboys#korea#talent#btsmoment#i spent 3 day writing it#essay#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jeongguk
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– REBUILD III –
RUNAWAY RENEGADES
· COLLECTION 1 ·
“backstories”
———————————————————
- VOLUME ONE -
Dennis, Aaron, Damon, Sawblade
It was a normal (or was it?) day. The alarm on the boy's phone rang loudly, and he woke up.
Two hours late. It was a Monday.
Too tired to care, he fell back down to his bed and went on his phone. He opened Twitter and was shocked to spot the #1 trending hashtag:
#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty
He rejoiced, opening it to find millions of tweets without any context. After ignoring various fancams that made him lose hope in the current situation, he stumbled upon a thread explaining the current situation.
“#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty : A THREAD <3” The first tweet twote, accompanied with four pictures: One of Doja Cat herself, one of Nicki Minaj, another of whoever becomes the next US president, and Lana Del Rey. What the hell is going on?
“As we all know, Doja Cat, Beyoncé, and many other artists have somehow been cancelled by Lana Del Rey within a week in May of 2020,” Okay… “This is due to Lana's satanic powers.” Oh, okay. Yeah, this was the same account who said that Avril Lavigne has a clone. Who was part of the CIA. Sure, man, whatever.
“At 3:56 AM today, Doja Cat had kidnapped [insert 46th president here] and escorted him to a secondary location. Then, Nicki stabbed the shit outta him. This has caused the America fandom to go insane.” what. “Lana was behind this. As we all know, she and Jessie J had hacked into The Pentagon and made Beyonce Knowles president, for clout.” what.
He put down his phone, questioning what the hell Stan Twitter was on now. The boy approached his cat, Sawblade, who was sleeping on the floor. Sawblade yawned dramatically and circled the boy's legs. He picked her up and laid her onto his bed.
“kwjdkwjjrjrjrkjwkjwjrkj” The cat purred. His phone buzzed. It was a notification from PlayStation Messages. He opened it, eager to know if one of his friends finally wanted to play multiplayer with him.
“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello PLAYSTATION user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”
Oh, a scam. He took a screenshot of the text, and then immediately blocked and reported the user, NULL000000. Huh, odd username. Whatever, he's not gonna reply–
One DM from Twitter.
NULL AGENCIES ✓ – @NULLhiring
“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello TWITTER user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”
The same thing, huh? This NULL guy really wants his money, he guesses. First Nicki commits manslaughter and now he keeps getting the same scam messages? It's only been not even an hour today and yet so much has happened. What next, Enya comes out of hiding?
“BuzzFeed News: Famous singer Enya comes out of her big-ass castle to collaborate with Nyan Neko Sugar Girls creators for new Apple TV miniseries”
Damn, okay, this is a dream. The boy wrapped himself in a blanket, hugged his bolster and wriggled around, trying to sleep. He couldn't, so he went back on Twitter.
jimin is fr**kin DEAD (@bangtanctwice):
“dont s-word me but like why is l/*n//a out of prison again. i thought she had the electric chair already ://”
illumi killed silva <3 (@hxhoverwatcch)
“ITSSB ACK !!!!!!!!! HXH IS BAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEAAHAJAHAHAAAAA DJDJJDJDJSNDNFJDDJ”, followed by an edit of Hisoka Morow.
oikawa⁷ (@HAIKYUUUUS)
“man how the hell did furudate think a crossover w yu yu hakusho mp100 bnha kny gintama n hgtv could save haikyuu. it practically ended the moment they all ate that volcano w departure in the bg”
Kerry Washington ✓ (@kerrywashington)
“LITTLE FIRES 6 OUT NOW!!!! I'm gonna EXPLODE Earth in this one!!! I'm going back to the Early Cambrian stage!!!! Bye Pearl!!”
Internet Explorer Anitwt (@iloveboruto)
“Y’all Kurapika brought A SHOVEL to that fight with Uvogin!!! A Whole SHOVEL!!! 😂😂😂”
knas is canon !! (@moiiiraclones)
“guys i think bakugos a kurta..... think abt it.... red eyes... always stressed......”
vic (NOT SPOILER FREE!!!) (@myname_jeff)
“why is no one addressing the fact that jfk 2 is happening and like everyone involved has stans”
ray is ia rn (@cryptodorito)
“my dog just ate my dad ....... stan list !”
give moxxi another dlc (@TORGUEEEE)
“hey does anybody find it weird that gearbox just released borderlands 4 w no buildup At All. seems p fishy :(”
gerard's hand sanitizer (@raytowo)
“did mcr just do twelve concerts in three days. legends”
ceo of tanjirou (@hiskoamorron)
“pls stream jessie j now ;) or die <\3”
ceowo owof bakuwugowouwu (@bakubaby)
“yes, what i did was wrong. there are dogs everywhere starving and eating dog treats is not morally right. that said, (1/67)”
Okay, enough of that. No more. Please. Three hours have passed, and he's still very confused, if not even more confused than before. Is there some sort of event today that he missed? Why is every single tweet weird? Is all this real? Is he in a parallel universe? Is he dead?
The boy zoned out into the bedroom wall, thinking of all the possibilities of this happening. He was lost in his imagination, his train of thought splitting and exploding due to all the unusual occurrences. That was, until Sawblade voiced out her needs.
“YEEEEEEHEHEA” she yelled. She was starving, mainly because the last time she ate was like, a whole hour ago. Sad.
“Ye lah,” “Mew,” “Meow meow mew mew mew,” The boy meowed as he dragged himself to fill up his cat's bowl. “chyouooyoymeeeiielll,” he complimented, ruffling the cat's face.
The boy tripped over his Form 3 activity book as he was walking, a reminder that he should probably do his homework soon. He turned the doorknob and opened the door and he was shocked to find that his house…
Had been ripped in half.
He pushed his back against the wall and slowly inched along the wall towards the kitchen, staring down into the abyss below the house. The living room had a sofa missing, and the television looked like it was going to fall down any second. Furniture floated in the void below the floorboards, which was bent, with plumbing pipes exposed, as well as the metal rods holding the house together.
It reminded him of what Sanctuary looked like when it was floating in space in Borderlands 2. But instead of a city, it was a condominium unit. And instead of Lilith lifting it up, it was… unknown. If only he could gunzerk, or have siren powers, or be a ninja sniper assassin, or have a turret, or have a giant mech, or be super tall and have a buzz-axe. If only. But thank God there's no Mordecai. To hell with Mordecai. I hate Mordecai. He's the most straightest man. Ever. Claptrap is less straight than him. HANDSOME JACK is less straight than him. R O L A N D is CLEARLY less straight than him. Mordecai is the epitome of heterosexuality.
Thankfully, the boy reached the kitchen safely, but still very full of anxiety, and poured the cat food into a flat container, since Sawblade is so fluffy, her face can't fit in cat bowls. He emptied the water bowl, cleaned it, and filled it with filtered water, making sure it's slightly cooled. Sawblade likes it that way. As she cronched on the kibbles, he stared into the distance, wondering what his apocalypse name would be.
He grabbed a glass of water and a packet of muffins for his breakfast. As he ate it, he scrolled through his timeline as if it was the morning paper. Oh, Katy Perry gave birth to twelve kids. And Gowon killed X Æ A-Xii. With a machete. Ok. That's cool, I guess. Capitalism, y’know?
:DAMON @C0RR0Sl0N
“my house got sliced in half. im just chillin here w my cat sawblade. considering eating cat food. not influenced by any recent drama ok”
Send Tweet.
As the boy was eating, he noticed the front door to the house was missing. The entrance lead to what seemed like the side of the street. In a foreign place. The lamppost was unfamiliar, and so was the pavement design. It seemed rather American.
He peeked his head out, and lo and behold, he spotted a pet shop just a couple of feet away. The sudden shock of all this made him forget about his cat, an indoor cat, a curious one. Sawblade stepped slowly outside, and as she went into the boy's view, he stormed to catch her, panicking and swearing profusely.
Of course, this made her way more terrified, and she ran faster, and… into the ajar door of the pet shop. “SAWBLADE!!! DON'T!!” he yelled loudly as he stopped in front of the building. The boy paused, unsure whether to proceed or retreat.
“Russell Family Pet Store, since 1965” wrote a large sign on the front. It looked rustic, but well-kept. The blinds were drawn, so the boy couldn't see what was inside. The building occupied two lots, and seemed to be two storeys tall. A nice rooftop garden was situated on top of it, and there were painted-over remnants of many posters plastered onto the walls. The walls were now coated with light brown paint. This building was surely cared for by a variety of owners.
Although hesitant, the boy stepped into the store, his hands shaking. He could've probably pass out right then and there if he wasn't searching for Sawblade. He sneaked into the building quietly, determined to get his cat and run like hell right after. However, his ideal plan was quickly foiled after he stepped on a squeaky toy.
“Shit, who's there?” A deep voice asked. It seemed like it belonged to someone tall, depressed, and very angry about capitalism. The boy was stuttering, both from the panic of being caught, and also because he had to speak to a native English speaker. “Probably just the delivery guy,” A second voice assured. This voice seemed quite hard to guess, but it was surely a kind one. Very trustworthy. “Jed, is that you?” The kind voice added. Yeah, these two are totally friendly. Probably. Don't take any chances, though.
A figure approached the boy, and it towered above him. The 5'9" hulking beast stopped. “Oh, sorry, we're closed. It's Judgment Day,” the kind man said. Well, of course it's judgement day. Why wouldn't it be judgement day? “Wait, no, I'm an idiot. Martin Luther King Jr’s day.” The man corrected. “How the hell do those two even remotely sound like each other?” The first voice said, the owner sitting behind the counter, shadowed.
“M-My cat's here.” “Have y-you sa-see-sawn her?” The boy was actually very fluent in English, even more than Malay, but the panic he was experiencing kind of absolutely extirpated any knowledge of it from his brain. Really, dude? “Sawn”? What is this, Texas?
Fortunately the two were understanding. The man behind the slau– counter stood up suddenly. “Holy shit, do you speak Spanish? Habla español?!” He asked excitedly. “No, why would I–? I'm Malay, dumbass,” the boy retorted, then realising that he just insulted someone much older than he was and that was… kinda rude. “WAIT SORRY” he blurted out, sending him back into the panic that he was under when he entered the store.
“HUH?! No, I’M sorry, I just assumed you were South American just because you couldn't speak English!” The man yelled, apologizing loudly. Yeah, this dude's sure as hell white. “I CAN!!! WHERE'S MY CAT!!!” The boy shouted back, very confused at where his priorities should be right now. “Oh!” said the man in front of him.
“IS THIS HIM– SORRY, HER?!” The man asked, reaching towards the corner. “We, uh, found her just straight-up running into here. Which is really weird, since cats, like, don't do that,” he said, holding Sawblade. Senang cita. “YES!! THANK YOU!!” The boy yelled. Why is everyone yelling?
Sawblade looked comfy all snuggled up in the man's arms. “He… seems to like you,” The boy said jealously. Usually, he was the one Sawblade loved most. “I have ten cats, so,” The man replied casually. “…How? Even?” he questioned as he carefully took Sawblade from the stranger. “I just do?”
The boy still remained very confused. “Name's Aaron, by the way. Please don't call me Ay-Ay-ron. Just… please,” the kind man said. “Ok” the boy replied. “Mine's. Um. Uh.” “…” The boy thought whether to say his real, legal one, or the one he went with online, which he seemed to prefer way more than his real one. “THE NAME'S DENNIS RUSSELL. I SHARE MY INITIALS WITH A VIDEO GAME.” The white guy said, interrupting the boy's statement. “Oh. Good to know. Hi, Mr. Danganronpa,” The boy politely said. “Fuck yeah,” replied Dennis.
“And if you're wondering which one of us is part of the Russell family that's running this shop,” Dennis began, “Den, don't,” Aaron interrupted. “It's my family. But, my dad became a magician, and my dad's choosing to indulge in his gardening hobby here, so the job's passed down to me now,” Aaron said.
“G//ay Ass!” Dennis shouted. “Okay, fine, Dennis, since we got married last month, you're part of the Russell family, too, honey,” Aaron said. “Just don't–” “YEEEEEHAAWWEE PARDNER WELCOME TO YE OLDE RYUSSELL PEYT SHYOP–” Dennis yelled loudly enough to give the boy a heart attack. However, this was probably the tenth time this week he did this, so Aaron was just very tired. “Jesus.”
“Um, what is this place?” The boy was still very much confused on why there was a pet shop sitting in front of his house, which was ripped in half. “I just told you…” Dennis said disappointedly. “No, like, where am I? Why are you guys American? I'm assuming? I'm not?” The boy said. “Well, our pet shop's in Toledo; Toledo, Ohio,” Aaron stated, gesturing towards a pile of papers. “If you're lost, we have some maps, some phone books…” he continued, unaware of the current situation.
“No, I live in Selangor, so– Selangor, Malaysia, not Ohio, out of all places, God, no, and my house is right over there,” the boy argued, pointing outside. “Well, half of it,” The two pet shop workers stood at their places, trying to process what the hell this kid just said. “Like? There? Outside this gracious state that occupies the #2 spot for most arson cases in the US? That's Malaysia?” Dennis shot back, also unaware. The boy was a bit excited after hearing him mention the name of his country, but shook it off to further develop the conversation. “Yes. Somehow. Also, I really don't think this is Ohio. Too many buildings and I haven't seen any corn fields,”
“Didja know there's over 75,000 farms in this 14-million acre state? There are, ya just gonna know where to look :)” Dennis stated. “What the hell? That's way too many farms. How does… what…” The boy replied in shock, almost dropping Sawblade. “I'm sorry, what?” Aaron asked. “Yup! Lotta farms in the buckeye state!” Dennis replied excitedly.
“HALF?!” “Of it??” It seemed like Aaron was the only one there actually concerned about the task at hand. “Huh? Oh yeah. Not really that big of a deal, though, honestly; enough food here for thirteen weeks,” How the boy calculated that, and how accurate it is remains a mystery. “Anyway, how do state fairs work? Like, do corn dogs taste good? I've had deep-fried Oreos once, they tasted really good. Really love 'em,”
Aaron ignored the exchange by the two very excited individuals and opted to step out to see if the boy was right or not. In his head, he was honestly convinced he wasn't, but that was up for change. Hell, he didn't even look at his phone or the TV today, so maybe the kid's right, his house is snapped in half.
Oh, it is.
“Holy shit, Denny, come look,” he yelled, gesturing to his husband. “Okay! I hope the aliens aren't homophobic or anything! :)” Dennis replied, running eagerly to the door. “HOT DAMN!” Dennis shouted. Now the boy could see how they both looked like, especially Dennis.
Dennis was definitely over six feet tall, he had balding, spiky red hair, and his eyes were big and sunken, and had bags under them. Aaron, on the other hand, had only seemed tall because of his hair. Aaron was missing a tooth for some reason. His lower-left fang. That's weird. They were both sporting uniforms; an orange shirt covered by a green vest with the logo of the pet shop sewn near the… like the… the end of it but like in the front? Like the middle? But like the logo was on the side. Yeah
“I don't think aliens are homophobic. Have you played Borderlands? Lots of g/ay people, and they're all technically aliens. I think the aliens are g//ay,” the boy explained thoughtfully. “I have, at my friend's house this one time, but then I died and I had to, like, pay, so then I just left his house, man,” Aaron replied. “Yeah, that's fair, usually I just save and quit whenever I die,” the boy added.
“Wait, what's your name, again? This whole time, you're being referred to as ‘the boy,’” Dennis asked, breaking the fourth wall. “Shrek,” the boy replied. The two men nodded in solidarity. “Good name,” Aaron complimented. “It reminds me of my childhood, and good times, and Shrek-flavored Oreos,” he added.
Shrek paused for a bit, hesitant to tell them his preferred name, but saying it anyway because they both seem quite nice and understanding, also, his family's not there. “I'm kidding. Shrek is but only my middle name,” Shrek explained, “Please, call me…”
“Damon,”
Gender euphoria ran through his veins like that one time Thanos put on the infinity gauntlet and he was AAAAAGH, P O W E R,,, HNGGH, that but Yeah. “Cool! Hi, Damon!” Dennis said, watching Damon's eyes burn with joy. Oh, just saying, like in some more volumes, this little kid turns into a pyromaniac, so. Yeah. Watch out for that. This is Foreshadowing.
Aaron scanned the horizon, unknowing what the hell was happening. “Hey, guys, should we… go investigate or something?” Damon thought for a bit, but not too much because this thing going on seemed too random to properly scan and plan. “Um, I don't know,” he said wisely, “Did you guys hear about that thing with, like, Nicki Minaj and the president? Were you guys affected or whatever?”
“With who and what? Nick– NICKI?? THE PRESIDENT?? OF HERE?? WHATEVER THIS THING IS???” Dennis struggled to figure out what Damon was saying. “Yeah, she stabbed him or something. Doja Cat helped too :)” Damon explained, confusing the two even more. “Why?” Aaron tried. “I dunno. Drama?” “Heard Lana's involved too… but you didn't hear it from me, yeah?” Damon added.. “THE COW GIRL. HELPED NICKI. AND LANA. ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT. DAMON.”
- * Special Thanks * -
Snowball
Sandball
Gon Freecss
Killua Zoldyck
Leorio Paladinight
Kurapika Lastname
Hisoka Morow
(is that the correct spelling?)
Illumi Zoldyck
Kikyo Zoldyck (shes pretty, ok)
Kanamori Sayaka
Mizusaki Tsubame
Asakusa Midori
Pakunoda
Machi Komacine
Moira O'Deorain
Freddy Krueger
Sideshow Bob
Spy TF2, Pyro TF2, Scout TF2, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Yoda, Darth Vader, he's cool, Sheev Palpatine, Developers of the video game “Tiny Thief”, Mad Moxxi, Ellie Kurta (shes a spiderant. my theory), Handsome Jack (Not Really, Burn In Hell) (during the period of time between me writing this and me copying and pasting this, i have developed a crush on not only jack, but his doppelgangers too. help)
Angel :)), Claptrap, Dr. Zed, NOT Marcus Kincaid, Dr. Patricia Tannis, Roland, Lilith, Brick (ga/y rights), Zer0, Krieg, Tiny Tina, Tiny Tuna, Louise Bob's Burgers, Mabel Pines, Stanley Pines, Lazy Susan, Sheriff Daryl Blubs, Deputy Durland, Officer Spectre :)), Yoda Again, 2003 Honda Civic, Ray Toro, Lynz Way, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Linda Bob's Burgers, Bob's Burgers Bob's Burgers, Sans Undertale, Komaeda, Sombra // Olivia Colomar, Actually All Of Talon Bc They're Hot Af, Except For That French Guy Max, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Spider-Man PS4, Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, The Lil Psychic Girl, Uhhhh Mario Brothers
part 2 incoming.
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President Trump, You are Going To Have To Do The Unthinkable: Your Job
Welcome to a Late Show I'm Steve Colbert happy birthday everybody today is a big one because it is the 50th birthday the big 5 oh and I got to say earth is still looking good she's just getting hotter every year I mean even with the receding glaciers and put on a little water weight around the coastline and earth is having kind of a moment right now cause with people staying home the earth is turning wilder cleaner with reduce CO2 better air quality and animals roaming the city streets turns out the best present for Earth Day is the same as the best present for Mother's Day time away from her children just get all the unruly humans out of her hair so mother earth can sit in a bubble bath and watch Outlander now while human stay inside the world cities are getting reclaimed by the animals a Puma roamed the streets of Santiago Chile in India hungry monkeys have been entering homes and opening refrigerators to look for food and coyotes have been seen along Chicago's Michigan Avenue a coyote on Michigan Ave that's crazy usually what with the traffic they have to take Lakeshore drive so don't be surprised if you see a wild animal wandering into your normal environment oh God here's one now come here come here oh God is the wild snuggle spaniel he scavenging for smoke Jays oh who's reclaiming the earth from the humans you are art he loves Maine he loves this here bye no now you have to leave you can't just chew on the electrical cords out out go mush thanks Benny I might need a lint roller the chaotic the coyotes weren't the only wild animals doing their thing said was president trump who celebrated Earth Day by holding a tree planting ceremony or as he said we're doing something I love doing planting trees I've always loved it yes two things Donald Trump has definitely always loved manual labor and the thing we're fruit comes from trump finally got around to actually planting the tree here he is getting his exercise for the decade I've gotten a lot of practice at my press conferences every day I just dig that hole deeper and deeper and deeper trump also celebrated Earth Day by threatening to blow up chunks of the planet tweeting I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they're asked our ships at sea you read that right he's going to shoot down boats we must respond to Iran’s flying gunboats there just as dangerous as their flying carpets it's a whole new world a new fantastic point of view no what how's it go no no or where do you go don't you dare close your eyes what trump's responding to is video from the Navy showing that Iranian vessels harassed American warships in the Arabian Sea OK that's not good but why tweet about Iran now for that matter why in new ban on immigration no one can fly anyway right now you might as well ban mosh pits but I have a theory a theory I tell you about these random tweets trump's approval ratings are falling and 2/3 of Americans say he was too slow to respond to the virus disapproval of trump is spreading faster than than something whatever spreads really quickly if you're dumb enough to ignore it so he is desperate to change the subject and I’m not the only one who is noticed it House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said this yesterday ignores his own responsibility and assigns blame instead of taking responsibility paying attention to science recognizing the word of the role of governance and all of this to get the job done for the American people and so he's engaged in distractions like immigration distractions like supporting people in the street they're all distractions away from the fact that known fact that he's a total failure when it comes to testing Mr. President you may want to get tested because that was one sick burn trump fired back with an official response to the speaker lookout flying around in gunboats run for your lives sincerely president Donald J trump CC Jaffar here's the thing trump's attempt to change the subject to immigration or to China or Iran or do anything is not going to work one Republican close to the White House told Politico that messaging alone cannot solve the political challenge the pandemic presents for trump OK how 'bout messaging and sitting on my enormous dampers keister cause I'm willing to do anything as long as it doesn't involve doing anything the unnamed Republican predicted if the testing does not get sorted out as soon as possible it will be another nail in an almost closed coffin well that's an unfortunate metaphor during a global pandemic plus if you want to get trump's attention I'd say it's a nail in an almost empty chicken bucket trump's normal tricks he uses to change the narrative aren't working because it's hard to come up with a more gripping narrative than stay inside or you might die you can tweet all you want but it's hard to capture people's hearts and minds when they're worried about their hearts and lungs you can't have bill Barr redact the virus or call Ukraine to get dirt on Hunter virus or get Mitch McConnell to have 50 one Republicans vote that there is no virus you can't even pay the virus $130,000 to stay quiet which is too bad because this virus is definitely spanking your *** so if you want to keep your job you're going to have to do the unthinkable your job you know make America great again trump held another one of his coronavirus distracted phones last night and he tried to put a positive spin on how things are going we continue to gain ground in the war against the unseen enemy and I see light at the end of the tunnel I rationally see a lot of life at the end of the tunnel and we're starting the process so the light is getting brighter and brighter every day the light is also making a really really fun train noise everybody keeps yelling Mr. President get off the tracks but I'm staying focused on that approaching light it's coming pretty fast whatever trump is seeing in that tunnel certain states like Georgia or ignoring the advice of experts and starting to reopen already so he and his team were asked about how exactly that supposed to work safely have hair salons in nail salons and tattoo parlors where people where where is this is in Georgia where where people have to inherently be close together so if there's a way that people can social distance and do those things then they can do those things I don't know how but people are very creative yes barbers and hair style is just need to be very creative like duct taping hair Clippers to a couple of yardsticks or just submerging all their customers in barricade Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin the nun also took some questions during the briefing about large companies accepting small business loans and trump jumped in with his own thoughts Mr. secretary are you going to request that those other companies obviously Shake Shack was not alone in being a big company that got money in this region that money or we could pay back the money and they shouldn't be taking it they almost only going to see that means you'll naturally engineering they started doing it in Spanish yeah Harvard you know the deal you don't get to take millions of dollars unless you also agree to take Jerrod swell Harvard responded to the president's attack saying that it had not received any funds through the PPP but had received funds through the cares act to provide assistance to students facing urgent financial needs due to COVID-19 OK that's a solid Fact Check sounds like somebody at Harvard went to Harvard her trump was also asked about how the pandemic is affecting workers at his own properties your Florida clubs have had to furlough have you thought about asking her family members workers on the payroll to help him into the federal is around you not allowed to have the golf courses open you can't have the clubs open you can't have anything to have a lot of different properties but again my children run them and I love my children and I wish them well I look forward to comparing my numbers to my children's numbers I think I'll do better that's an insane thing for a father to say Can you imagine someone saying anything like that on their deathbed children gather round I just want you to know that I love being better than all of you look at my numbers you're human garbage end scene one guy who super gung ho about risking other peoples lives is Texas lieutenant governor dan Patrick lieutenant governor went on the TV Monday to make the case for states reopening their economies and here's how...
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Stormzy’s Gang Signs and Prayers (GSAP) is set to be as iconic as Boy In Da Corner, if not more so and here’s why…
With Integrity, Konnichiwa, Landlord, Made in The Manor, and Godfather all having dropped within the last 3 years, it’s fair to say that finally grime is starting to make it. Saying that 23 year old Stormzy’s Gang Sings & Payers is greater than all these albums, would be a big statement, but certainly not a wrong one. It’s a piece of art that cuts deep into Big Mike’s rapid rise to fame, and most importantly how his family life hasn’t got away from him. Paired with fantastic instrumentals, and undeniable swagger, Stormzy’s ability to make an album true to its genre, himself, and attractive to listen to for almost anybody, is honestly unique. This album is Stormzy laid bare, it’s a thank you to God, his mother, his fans, and his friends, and the passion shines through to make a beautiful piece of art. Despite it only being early days, I see this album as iconic, not only for grime but for the sound of the UK reaching to all realms of the world.
I had such hope for this album because as I discovered and learnt about the rise of Stormzy, I couldn’t but smile. He is wholesome to the core, and always gives me a reason to smile, whether it’s 8 year old Stormzy spitting his playground rhymes to his mum,(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TH9eVdQ8D0), or in or his honest and open love for Adele’s music, ‘I was in the 02 screaming my lungs out, your never to big for Adele’. This week alone he performed a remix of Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape Of You’ live at the Brits (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4GIfNf7AYk), he dropped a quite frankly amazing remix of the Kanye West’s ‘Ultralight Beam’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCqLR5svy9Y) on BBC 1 live lounge and a euphoric live band performance of his addictive single ‘Big For Your Boots’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6uBpFWt65c), here’s the lowdown on his untouchable album…
1. First Things First – This song speaks for itself. In this opening song he spits bars straight from the heart, discussing family problems, drawing to light the contradiction of his success, leaving those he used to go to school and play football with, left on road or doing life. With a low-key persistent ringing like instrumental, Stormzy goes in very hard, taking control of the beat with deep lyrics of fending off depression and the struggles of his uncontrollable rise to the top. It’s a song where you can almost imagine him penning down the lyrics, as each 16 bar anecdote he tells seems too true.
2. Cold – New school grime at its best, this song will go off every time it’s played. A hench instrumental which just grows as the song progresses, quick, FX filled drums and a heavy bass making this reminiscent of Roll Deep’s ‘When I’m ‘ere’. This is the first for the four *GRIME BANGERS in this album. The punch line “I just went to the park with my friends, then manna charted” was a personal favourite of mine. Changing up the flow keeps the song going to such a speed you wonder when he found space to breathe. This song is a bossy MC track throughout, and keeps the album on 10/10 levels
*GRIME BANGER– not to say the other 12 songs aren’t grime or aren’t bangers, but these 4 are the type of song that you go off to for the full 4 minutes or so, The Americans would describe them as ‘LlT’. This drops hard anywhere.
3. Bad Boys (Ft. Ghetts and J Hus) – Moving deeper into GSAP, we are presented with a song very representative of the danger, and dark nature of his ends. Over slow trappy style, hi hat filled drums, Stormzy slowly ups the intensity of his bars as a collection of strings, a deep choir vocoder, and hollow chimes in the instrumental go hand in hand with his sincerely dark bars. A song where you realise the grind he has been on to get here, mixed with the cold reality of how easily it could’ve not gone that way. Despite blowing up, Stormzy gives this song to remind us of his roots and that he is not to be fucked with. In a beautiful juxtaposition however J Hus jumps on the hook with insanely smooth vocals then Ghetts with the perfect feature verse for this song. Although one knows that Stormzy could’ve filled GSAP with superstar features such as Skepta and D Double, he choses wisely as Ghetts’ sharp aggressive spitting style is passionately caught up with the weight of this beat, while suiting the theme of the song (Bad Boy Vibes) to the core.
4. Blinded By Your Grace – You weren’t expecting this, or really wanting it, but Big Mike delivers a love song. Soft over an innocently played electric piano, some smooth vocals, I could say more but it’s hard to imagine Stormzy in this way until you’ve heard it. A welcome surprise, an interlude, it’s hard to explain but just listen.
5. Big For Your Boots – The official return of Stormzy after 9 months silence. The 2nd of the 4 GRIME BANGERS in the track listing. He says ‘boots’ weirdly, we’ve gotten over it but now can’t get that hook out of our heads. This song speaks for itself. Its been out for a week or so already and it wont stop going off. A fantastic music video, filled with iconic chicken shops, uber-clique of, has already 7.5 million views and isn’t close to stopping.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFOErVWlsxg
6. Velvet/Jenny Francis - Another love story, Stormzy tells stories of his affections towards a certain someone with a pad filled atmospheric instrumental. Showing vulnerability over an appropriate beat and nailing it is something grime artists struggle to do…(I felt Skepta failed with ‘Text Me Back’) but again Stormzy hasn’t fallen short as he leads you through the track switching from bars to smooth vocals. This song is great but has been frustratingly infused with an intermission which is its only downside, the track drags on slightly too long in my opinion.
7. Mr Skeng - I cannot stop playing this. It’s the first song I went back to after first hearing the album in its entirety. It is so Stormzy, and it is so good. Repping himself, ‘The Wicked Skengman’ to the core with hard bars, calling out anyone who goes for him and doing it in his classic neat and attitude filled manor. If you love Stormzy you will love this song. It’s a stand out tune with the strong string and horns in the instrumental bringing the same power as the man himself.
8. Cigarettes & Cush (Ft. Kehlani) – Like a grown up version of recent Stormzy hit ‘Birthday Girl’, this song has happy relationship vibes, just such a groove. With a very catchy hook, a silky verse from Kehlani, and a soft story telling, anecdotal verse, followed by a second deeper verse from Stormzy, this is his take on a rainy day song, pure versatility.
9. 21 Gun Salute (interlude) (Ft. Wretch 32) – Feels like a full song rather than an interlude due to its beauty. A melodic reverb filled electric piano plays as Stormzy puts prayers into his own words, in a short wholesome verse. Wretch 32 is on the hook and he fits so harmonically with the piano as he calls for the 21 gun salute. Ultralight Beam Vibe
10. Blinded By Your Grace, Pt. 2 (Ft. MNEK) – A suitable part 2. Its very different to part 1, here he brings quiet and low-key vibes but in a progressive manor using pads, a choir, and some strong drums to lead him into a passion filled emotionally exclaimed verse leaving you feeling warm inside. MNEK’s feature is utterly euphoric, the instrumental continually grows into a crescendo with a harmonically whaling electric guitar.
11. Return of the Rucksack - The 3rd of 4 GRIME BANGERS on this album starting with low pitch vocals over hard, simple grime drums and a small string, with brass stabs produced by the OG Sir Spyro. This song feels like one for MCs on the road because it’s simple but hard and has repeated references to Dizziee’s legendary ‘Put these MCs on deep-freeze ‘ with lengy and funny bars, punch lines hitting consistently. There is a lot of great maturity in this album, but this feels like a gold plated version of a very a random Soundcloud grime song, one for the true grime fans.
12. 100 Bags – One for his mum, a minimalist instrumental with soft drums and a rolling reverbed piano, nice to listen to, relate to, and enjoy the rhymes. Like Kanye Wests ‘Hey Mama’, it’s great to hear his appreciation and love through his music. In the second part of the song Stormzy exits with a warm vocoder accompanying his voice, easing out the song with one more chorus following that.
13. Don’t Cry For Me (Ft. Raleigh Ritchie) - Honestly my least favourite song on the album. Not that it isn’t quite a nice song, two strong verses from Stormzy, however the Raleigh Ritchie feature just doesn’t quite feel in place.
14. Crazy Titch (Interlude) - Says a lot of what I think, I like this
15. Shut Up – Where it all started. Not literally, Stormzy had been around for many years but this is why this album is here. One day he put on a full red Adidas tracksuit, went to the park with 20 man and recorded the video which now has over 30 million views on YouTube. Bringing Grime back to a worldwide audience, this song speaks for itself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqQGUJK7Na4
16. Lay Me Bare – Ending the album, one of my favourite tracks. Stormzy addresses his never previously discussed father and the hardships Stormzy and his mother went through in a truthfully deep and detailed storytelling rhyme switching it up, all in such vivid detail. He lays it all out, he shows honest vulnerability, rare for a grime MC, and of course he does it naturally and artistically and fucking nails it. Finishing my favourite ever grime album. It came out today, but when you know, you know.
If this doesn’t win a Brit… well let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
Edited by: Heather Percival
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RealitySteve.com - My sarcastic, slanted, sophomoric, and skewed view on the world of reality television
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I realize, of course, that very few people are drawn to Are You the One? because of the mathematical strategies that must be employed for twenty-two people to have a shot at splitting a million dollars, but for those who are interested, the statistics at this point are as follows:
• 3 beams of light were nabbed in 2 consecutive ceremonies.
• 0 matches were made from 2 sojourns into the Truth Booth.
• 1 guy received head from Kenya during a luau.
• 1 girl named Lauren has received approximately 36 seconds of screen time.
• 7 blowups have gone down courtesy of Bria and 4 of them required she be physically restrained.
• And the number of women still convinced something real and true exists beneath Zak’s staggering and smelly layers of douchiness? Well, that number would probably measure somewhere near infinity.
The last ceremony concluded with Zak calling Bria trash and her retaliating in return that their garbage love story is over – and all that probably means is they’ll be heading into the Boom Boom Room any day now. But we can hope, can’t we? We can hope Bria calms down. We can hope Zak falls scruff-first into a volcano. We can hope Tevin will eventually stop hoping that Kenya will spontaneously turn decent. We can hope Lauren gets to say four consecutive sentences on camera and that Cam finds himself a fellow Conservative in that messy den of iniquity. Or we can say “f*ck hope” and simply wait for someone new to fly off the rails because this is an MTV reality show, dammit, and just it’s nice when our hopes pan out.
Episode four begins with Bria blathering about how much she respects herself and how she deserves better and that she’s not a dumb bitch, which means she will definitely end up straddling Zak in the very near future because Bria seems to be the very opposite of what she claims to be. And since she is a woman who deeply respects herself, she drenches another woman’s legs in chocolate syrup and dives tongue-first into the girl’s crotch to lick that syrup off – you know, much like the feminists of yore used to do. Her antics are having the exact effect we all know she’s going for. Zak is getting jealous, so since he’s a very mature person, he decides to lean in and kiss Samantha right in front of his hysterical ex. But Samantha! Could she be the token normal one on this show? I think there’s a chance that she might just be! As Zak leans in, she jerks backwards to avoid lips that have already slid over mouth of almost every girl in that house. She knows Zak’s deal and she’s not into it and I would hereby like to announce a brand new holiday! It will be called Samantha Day and on that day no woman will deign to kiss a dipsh*t and champagne and mini Twix bars will rain down from the sky. I’ve already ordered commemorative tees.
The next morning, Asia wakes Lewis to tell him she’s made him breakfast – something he swears hasn’t happened for him since Ja Rule had a hit – and he likes her and all, but he’s keeping his options open. Then there’s Brett and Cali. Those two are clicking. Need proof? As they discuss what kind of animal each one of them would be, Brett knows Cali would be a bird! Is their love deep or what? It is so deep that it’s time to start swapping secrets. Brett’s deep dark secret? He’s had three surgeries. Cali’s? She tosses hot peppers into her mouth like candy and then makes poop that burns her sphincter. Yes, theirs is a glorious kind of love and I’m certain it will last forever.
Asia is into Lewis, but she tells Tevin that Lewis hasn’t made any sort of move on her yet. She’s not sure if he’s being respectful or what, but she finds it odd that the two haven’t even danced together, not even during the luau a few days back. Once the luau is brought up, Tevin lets it slip that Kenya not only danced atop Lewis that night, but she went down on him as well. This is brand new information for Asia and she does not appreciate being kept in the dark by two people she thought she could trust. “Let me know you got your d*ck sucked. And let me know you sucked his d*ck!” she exclaims to Tevin about those two traitors and his response is to nod sagely and the whole thing is a moment of bonding one only sees on basic cable.
Also: I’m officially canceling Samantha Day. It turns out she gets positively giddy when men leave pools of sweat in their wake and, well, that’s the sort of shit that should just not be celebrated. The guy whose sweat is currently making her swoon is Daniel, and the truth is I don’t care if they get together or not. I’m just happy she’s not dreaming about doing a slip n’ slide through any of Zak’s bodily fluids.
Terrence J pops in next – he’s contractually mandated to show up now and again – and this week the Fate Button determines Shamoy, Lewis, Maria, and Lauren (the blonde phantom) get to go on the out-of-the-house date. Everyone is thrilled Shamoy and Maria were selected because there’s a good chance they’re an actual match and now they can be shoved into the Truth Booth and maybe something can finally be confirmed. The date they head out on involves horseback riding through the foggiest afternoon Hawaii has ever seen. Lauren gets to speak at least four times, Maria admits that Shamoy gives her butterflies, and Shamoy rides shirtless because Maria has latent Fabio fantasies. Everything is going perfectly until Lauren gets thrown from her horse, but it turns out this formerly mute girl is tough and she literally gets back on that horse and finishes the ride.
Back at the house, Asia is busy informing everyone she can corner that Kenya took Lewis’ hand a few weeks back, pulled him into the Boom Boom Room, and then sucked his d*ck. Had skywriters been available, she probably would have requested that one form the image of Kenya’s mouth enveloping Lewis’ scrotum so everyone could learn the news at once, but alas, skywriting is not in the budget for this show, not with all the tequila that needs to be on hand every second of every day so the contestants can wash away whatever inhibitions still remain in the darkest corners of their souls. As Asia wipes away tears of fury in the kitchen, Daniel asks Samantha to accompany him on a mini excursion to go catch crabs. Yes, there are a zillion “catching crabs” jokes I could make right now, but I’m instead going to appreciate that Daniel is not currently sweating buckets and I’m going to celebrate that he knows how to build a fishing pole out of bamboo – that kind of MacGyver sh*t could come in handy in the real world! – and, I swear, my eyes didn’t even roll when the two of them sat on the shore and kissed.
It’s Truth Booth time! To nobody’s surprise, Shamoy and Maria are sent in to determine if they’re a real match or not. The totally-just-for-show lights pass over their bodies and we find out these two are a perfect match! The house explodes into cheers, Shamoy and Maria are relieved as hell, and I’m devastated because now the only two clinically normal people in that villa are being sent away to the Honeymoon House so the rest of these rather insane people can more easily weed through one another to achieve a cash prize.
Seeing the perfect match pop up on the screen is making the rest of the house feel all kinds of giddy – or all kinds of drunk, but let’s pretend the romance here is not sponsored by Smirnoff. After declaring how “perfect” things are between she and Brett (and after we all then heard the rumbling of symbolic thunder the very second she said such a thing), Cali gets out of the hot tub and Brett has no idea where she has gone. He discovers her talking to Zak, a conversation that involves Zak telling her that she reminds him of his sister and Cali muttering, “Cool,” in return, but Brett is not about details at the moment. No, this guy gets in Zak’s face. Zak stays calm the entire time because pretty much everyone he’s ever met has hated him; he’s used to people invading his personal space to inform him that he sucks. Watching Brett’s overreaction, Cali is concerned. She’s experienced this kind of controlling man in her past and Brett is making her feel scared. She should probably already be scared. MTV has labeled Brett “The Jealous Type,” and he’s proving here that sometimes labels are pretty f*cking accurate. A few guys attempt to intervene because the guy is acting like a crazy person and Cali keeps telling him that he’s acting irrationally, but he’s not really into logic right now. Oh, and Cali keeps calling him “Zak” which is really not helping matters.
It’s a new day and the alcohol has seeped out of his system and now Brett thinks that maybe he blew things out of proportion the night before. And speaking of blowing things, Tevin lets Kenya know he accidentally told Asia about what happened between she and Lewis a while back and now Lewis would like to talk to Asia. With his shorts slipping all the way down his ass, Lewis leads Asia away so he can tell her there’s no reason she should feel an emotional attachment to him – which is a sentence all women love to hear. Asia thinks they have a connection despite the fact that he’s yet to see her naked, Lewis appears perplexed by everything Asia is saying, and it all just gets louder and more confusing when Kenya bounds over and says she had no idea Asia had feelings for Lewis, but she swears whatever transpired between the two of them was not “romantical” in the least. They all end the conversation with a hug, though Lewis is more than a bit freaked out because he’s nowhere near as into Asia as she apparently is into him.
It’s ceremony time! With one match already made, the group is now looking to solidify the other pairings. The guys get to choose their matches this week and it goes a little something like this:
• Lewis chooses Asia and Samantha sits back and watches as Asia mumbles some explanation about how whatever happened with Lewis and Kenya no longer matters and the whole thing makes Samantha sad because she feels like Asia is compromising herself. For the record, I’m now reconsidering my reconsideration of Samantha Day. The woman is wise and she’s yet to put her fist through a wall or through someone’s face. So what that she likes sweaty men? Let the bells that announce the dawning of Samantha Day ring!
• Cam picks Kayla.
• Tevin selects Kenya.
• Daniel chooses Samantha – and she’s already worried he’s not enough of a challenge for her.
• Brett gets up and rhapsodizes about how Cali is still the one he wants despite the fireballs of rage he spit at her the previous evening. But Cali? She doesn’t particularly love having to say this in front of everyone, but she’s no longer cool with a man who has psychotic bursts of anger due to his own issues with trust. She’s not willing to overlook the negative tendencies he all but waved before her face like flags and she tells him that she’s done. His response? He picks her as his match for the evening and Cali presses her hand on the screen to lock in that match with a look of pure duress smeared across her pretty face.
• Andrew (who?) picks Lauren, the girl who fell off the horse and has now had 48 seconds of screen time.
• Bria is chosen by some guy I’ve maybe never seen before and I do not know his name, but he helped her locate her missing pasta that morning and great love stories have started from far less. (Okay, they haven’t. But I’m afraid of Bria, so let me just publicly say that the locating of carbohydrates is so important in a relationship and I wish her and whoever this guy might be the very best.)
• Kwasi picks Jasmine.
• Tomas (I think) selects Nutsa.
• Zak lands on Morgan.
With all these new selections, some of which are completely random and based only on missing fusilli, the group ends up with only two correct matches. They are now, Terrence J cautions them, in the danger zone and there is only one way to combat this growing crisis: they should all head out on a Relationship Retreat where their exes will be there to ambush them! Sounds healthy, right? And so romantical.
Nell Kalter teaches Film and Media at a school in New York. She is the author of the books THAT YEAR and STUDENT, both available on amazon.com in paperback and for your Kindle. Also be sure to check out her website at nellkalter.com. Her twitter is @nell_kalter.
Source: http://realitysteve.com/2018/08/30/are-you-the-one-nell-kalters-episode-4-recap/
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My annual New Year’s Eve last-minute guide to events that are still available to do on New Year’s Eve 2019 (when 2018 turns into 2019) in New York City
New Year’s Eve in New York means the dropping of the ball in Times Square, the fireworks in Prospect Park and Coney Island, the annual concert at St. John the Divine, the midnight run with fireworks in Central Park — all FREE, and all things you can decide to do at the last minute.
It also can mean obscenely expensive shows and extremely loud parties, an annual arena concert featuring Phish and a new cabaret act from Aaron Tveit, a cruise in the harbor, or a dinner for two in your favorite eatery — not all of which are sold out weeks in advance. You can pretend to converse with 200 celebrities carved out of wax, or stay at home and watch the festivities online — on this very post.
Below:
Broadway show schedule for the week,+ other theater
parties
concerts
intimate dinners
cruises
quiet or healthy alternatives
TV listings.
Only eight percent of Americans reportedly plan to go out on any given New Year’s Eve, and I suspect the percentage is even lower when it occurs on a Monday, as it does this year. For those New Yorkers (and New York visitors) who haven’t made those plans yet, here are some ideas:
Bebe Rexha, headliner
Post Malone, live and on some devices
TIMES SQUARE
The New Year’s Eve tradition in Times Square began in 1904 with a rooftop celebration to greet the New Year. Three years later, they started lowering a ball.
From the organizers comes this overview of New Year’s Eve in Times Square, so you know what is in store for you if you decide to stand at the Crossroads of the World on December 31st.
Revelers start arriving late in the afternoon. By approximately 3:00 PM., the Bowtie of Times Square (42nd to 47th Sts. between Broadway & 7th Ave.) is fully closed to traffic. The crowd, which in the past has reached in the millions, could go as far uptown as Central Park, 17 blocks away.
Another way of saying this: If you want to be within naked-eyesight of the Times Square ball, arrive in the afternoon, and be prepared to stand immobile until the ball drops at midnight. Huddle with friends and loved ones for warmth – or make new friends.
Bebe Rexha and alt-pop band lovelytheband will be among the performers during the countdown.
Times Square offers an outdoor evening of entertainment, culminating in confetti, “2019” sign in lights, lots of hugging and wishing for a Happy New Year
I’ve spent three New Year’s Eves in Times Square, which is probably two more than necessary, but found each memorable. Do remember that the highlights will be televised. See What’s on TV, below.)
You can also watch the festivities online
DINING OUT ON NEW YEAR’S EVE
Open Table lists some 700 restaurants with “New Year’s Eve offers” Most of them offer a choice of seatings – either earlier in the evening, so that you can make it in time elsewhere for the stroke of midnight, or party-hat-equipped seatings that lead up to midnight, where you can often turn on a TV so that you can watch the ball drop in Times Square. Open Table provides all sorts of filters — you can look for a table for 2 at a “charming” French restaurant at 7 pm in your specific neighborhood.
Have a favorite neighborhood eatery that’s not listed on Open Table? Go to the place NOW, and ask them whether they will take reservations.
THEATER ON NEW YEAR’S WEEK
No Broadway shows will be offering performances on New Year’s Eve, which falls on a Monday this year, normally the dark day for most shows. But 25 of the shows will offer performances on New Year’s Day, all of them in the evening.
Show Run
Time Theatre Mon
12/31 Tue
01/01 Wed
01/02 Thu
01/03 Fri
01/04 Sat
01/05 Sun
01/06 Aladdin 2h 30min New Amsterdam 7:00 1:00 & 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 American Son 1h 20min Booth 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Anastasia 2h 25min Broadhurst 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Band’s Visit 90min Barrymore 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Beautiful – The Carole King Musical 2h 15min Stephen Sondheim 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 The Book of Mormon 2h 30min Eugene O’Neill 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 The Cher Show 2h 20min Neil Simon 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Chicago 2h 30min Ambassador 8:00 2:30 & 8:00 8:00 8:00 2:30 & 8:00 7:00 Choir Boy Samuel J. Friedman 7:00 7:00 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 Come From Away 100min Schoenfeld 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Dear Evan Hansen 2h 25min Music Box 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Ferryman 3h 15min Jacobs 7:00 1:00 & 7:30 7:00 7:00 1:00 & 7:30 3:00 Frozen 2h 15min St. James 1:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 Hamilton 2h 40min Richard Rodgers 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Parts One and Two 2h 35min Lyric 2:00 Prt1 7:30 Prt2 7:30 Part 1 7:30 Part 2 2:00Prt1 7:30Prt2 2:00 Prt1 7:30 Prt2 Head Over Heels 2h 15min Hudson 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 King Kong 2h 30min Broadway 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Kinky Boots 2h 20min Hirschfeld 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Lifespan of a Fact 1h 35min Studio 54 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 The Lion King 2h 30min Minskoff 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 Mean Girls 2h 30min August Wilson 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:30 My Fair Lady 2h 55min Vivian Beaumont 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Network 2h 0min Belasco 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 3:00 The New One 1h 20min Cort 3:00 & 7:30 7:30 8:00 3:00 & 8:00 3:00 & 7:30 Once on This Island 90min Circle in the Square 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 & 7:30 The Phantom of the Opera 2h 30min Majestic 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 The Play That Goes Wrong 2h 0min Lyceum 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Pretty Woman: The Musical 2h 30min Nederlander 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Prom 2h 15min Longacre 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 School of Rock The Musical 2h 30min Winter Garden 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Summer: The Donna Summer Musical 1h 40min Lunt-Fontanne 7:00 2:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 To Kill a Mockingbird 2h 50min Shubert 1:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 Torch Song 2h 30min Hayes 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 7:30 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 True West American Airlines 8:00 8:00 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Waitress 2h 30min Brooks Atkinson 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Waverly Gallery 2h 15min Golden 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Wicked 2h 45min Gershwin 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00
(If tickets are not available through the box office, try buying tickets here)
Of course, New York theater is far more than just Broadway, and some Off-Broadway and Off-Off Broadway shows are not just happening, but getting into the whole excess thing that means New Year’s Eve to so many in New York. Prime example is Sleep No More, which for New Year’s Eve adds a “New Year’s Eve Feast” and something called the McKittrick King Masquerade, with live performances and an open bar (“All guests should come in their finest attire in shades of gold, silver, and black, suitable for a King’s Masquerade.”) The cost is astronomical.
Similarly XIV Company offers its “Nutcracker Rouge,” (a “baroque, burlesque” not-for-children take on Nutcracker Suite) at a new theater in Bushwick, Brooklyn, followed by a party with the cast.
FAMILY SHOWS NOT ON BROADWAY
Radio City Rockettes Christmas Spectacular (two performances on New Year’s Eve, at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m..)
Big Apple Circus> (noon and 9:30 p.m.)
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NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTIES
AT NIGHTCLUBS & WEIRD PLACES (including home)
There’s a New York for almost any taste, so why would it be surprising that Eventbrite lists some 1,000 New Year’s Eve parties? More than 100 of those are listed as free (that’s my taste.) Others are obscenely expensive.
You can dance at parties set up in Times Square venues, such as the Marriot Marquis and the AMC 42nd Street movie theater, “six floors of fun” for as little as $49 (that’s after 12:30 a.m. admission) and as much as $3,300. Here’s an odd one offered at a discount through Goldstar
Party With the Stars at Madame Tussauds — which is to say, “with over 200 life-sized wax figures.”
Most promote a great view of the ball dropping (which — do you mind my pointing out? — is an insane pitch, but apparently an effective one)
Then there are the super-hip parties in Brooklyn and Queens.
BangOn!NYC has moved its annual bash this year to Maspeth, Queens, at the (aptly named?) Knockdown Center, with three musical stages, a silent disco, live painting, interactive art installations and performances, a bartering blackjack table, and more cosmic creations to transcend time and space.” (Their promotional material still claims the show is in Brooklyn — perhaps they mean it as a state of mind.)
Purple Rain Dance Party. For the fifth year in a row, Syndicated, a movie theater, bar and restaurant in Bushwick, Brooklyn will project the 1984 movie” Purple Rain” on the wall while dj/vjs The Hogstad Brothers spin Prince classics like “Raspberry Beret” and “Cream.” Purple Rain or Prince-inspired costumes/attire “strongly encouraged.”
Many suggest throwing your own New Year’s Eve party, and offer vaguely insulting step-by-step tips on how to do so. The most memorable advice for throwing a party came from Joan Crawford, who was quite a partier in her day (see above). Her advice (see below) can be summed up as:
Have a mix of people as your guests, but nobody with dirty feet.
Secretly drug them.
(P.S., don’t do this.)
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CONCERTS
Some concerts that will be sold out or too expensive will be available in your home, live, depending. (See TV listings below.)
St. John the Divine Concert for Peace.
An annual FREE event since 1984, when it was founded by Leonard Bernstein. Along with the music of Mozart and Bach, this year’s concert includes a choir singing Martin Luther King, Jr.’s I have a dream speech.(You can pay in advance to reserve a seat. Otherwise it’s first come, first served.)
The soprano Renee Fleming will accompany the New York Philharmonic in performing Broadway and film hits, Viennese waltzes, and operetta gems. For those who can’t make it to Lincoln Center, it will be presented Live from Lincoln Center on PBS. (See TV listings below.)
Phish at Madison Square Garden for the 12th year in a row! The bad news is that their New Year’s Even concert is sold out. The good news is 1. (as of this writing) tickets are still available for their three earlier dates. 2. see TV listings below.
Margo Price and Lilly Hiatt
Music Hall of Williamsburg (country)
The Lone Bellow and Courtney Maries Andrews
Bowery Ballroom (folk, country and blues)
Oteil and Friends, Brooklyn Bowl (Southern rock)
Gov’t Mule,Beacon Theatre (indie rock)
Snoop Dogg, Terminal 5, Hell’s Kitchen (hip hop and r&b)
Post Malone, Barclays Center, Brooklyn (hip hop and r&b). See TV listings below.
CABARET
With the repeal in 2017 of the hated 91-year-old Cabaret Law, which banned dancing at all but a handful of licensed venues (fewer than 100), you could argue that life is a cabaret (or at least could be) at all 25,000 eating and drinking establishments in New York City. But “cabaret” has come to define specific genres of intimate entertainment at just a few, relatively small venues, such as those below.
Tip: Most cabarets offer two seatings on New Year’s Eve. The one earlier in the evening is far less expensive. Many of these performers return to these venues every New Year’s — a wonderful tradition that makes last-minute tickets chancy, but worth trying.
Sandra Bernhard: Quick Sand at Joe’s Pub
Natalie Douglas: A Very Natalie New Year at the Duplex — her 19th New Year’s there
New Year’s Eve with Charles Busch and Friends at Feinstein’s/54 Below (early show)
Aaron Tveit on New Year’s Eve at Feinstein/54 Below (late show)
The Birdland Big Band at Birdland Jazz Club
FIREWORKS
Annual Prospect Park Fireworks – free. at Grand Army Plaza
Coney Island New Year’s Eve Celebration -5th annual celebration, with free fireworks on the boardwalk
HARBOR CRUISES
Big selling point of all these cruises — a close-up of the New Years Eve fireworks over the water. Most include a buffet, open bar, and dancing with a dj. Drawbacks: These cost hundreds of dollars, and many are already sold out. (But there are cruises during the day on New Year’s Eve”
Circle Line New Year’s Eve Cruises
Queen of Hearts Cruise
New York Water Taxi New Year’s Eve Cruise
Cornucopia Yacht at Pier 81
New Year’s Fireworks Cruise at Pier 15
Fireworks Cruise at Pier 62
HEALTHY ALTERNATIVES
A MEDITATIVE ALTERNATIVE
The Kadampa Meditation Center in Chelsea, $50 for non-members, provides a way for you to “ring in the New Year “with compassion and beneficial intentions!” — hors d’oeuvres, meditation, and no alcohol. (Pre-registration is required.) Also one this year in Williamsburg
WALKING AND RUNNING AND BIKING
New York Road Runners’ Midnight Run in Central Park
Shorewalkers Happy New Years Day Hike — Hiking the shores and parks of upper Manhattan starting at noon on New Year’s Day, which gives you a good excuse to go to bed early.
Annual Bike Ride and Party, from Time’s Up environmental action organization. This year they’re doing it a little differently: The ride will begin in three different locations (one in Brooklyn) and end up indoors at Museum of Reclaimed Urban Space in the East Village for what they’ve renamed the “Future Positive New Year’s Eve Dance Party” which will feature a multimedia presentation by activist artists and then live music.
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WHAT’S ON TV (and other home devices)
ABC: Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2019. Co-hosts include Jenny McCarthy, Ciara and Lucy Hale. Performances from Christina Aguilera and Post Malone (who’s also performing at Barclay Center that night, so he’s busy), as well as Florida Georgia Line, Maren Morris, Ella Mai, The Chainsmokers, Lauren Alaina, Bazzi, Kane Brown, Camila Cabello, Ciara, Halsey, Shawn Mendes, Charlie Puth, Dua Lipa, Macklemore, Kelsea Ballerini and Foster the People.
CNN: Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen will be back together as hosts of CNN’s New Year’s Eve special for the second year (Cohen last year replacing Cooper’s decade-long partner Kathy Griffin.) They will be in Times Square live, while Brooke Baldwin and Don Lemon will be presenting the countdown from New Orleans. (I can’t help quoting what Anderson Cooper said in 2013: “I don’t know anybody who has a fun time at a party at New Year’s Eve. That’s why I work on New Year’s Eve.”)
Fox: Fox’s New Year’s Eve with Steve Harvey: Live from Times Square will feature performances by . Sting, Robin Thicke, Florence + the Machine, Jason Aldean, Juanes and Why Don’t We.
NBC: Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb will preside over a year-end special A Toast to 2018! featuring a look back at the highs and lows, followed at 10 p.m. NBC’s New Year’s Eve with hosts Carson Daly hosts, Chrissy Teigen and SNL‘s Leslie Jones, and musical performances by Jennifer Lopez, Bebe Rexha, Urban, Diana Ross, Kelly Clarkson, Andy Grammer, Brett Young, John Legend and Blake Shelton
PBS: Live from Lincoln Center with Renee Fleming and the New York Philharmonic, followed at 10:30 by Great Performances: Leonard Bernstein Centennial Celebration at Tanglewood.
TV Marathons
Most of these start in the evening of New Year’s Eve and then go all New Year’s Day
AMC: “The Walking Dead”
FXX: “The Simpsons.”
IFC: “The Three Stooges”
SYFY: “Twilight Zone”
WPIX: “The Honeymooners”
And, in a nod to a new era,
1. SiriusXM plans to air live New Year’s Eve concerts by artists including Post Malone, Phish, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Willie Nelson, on various stations — eg Malone on Hip Hop Nation, Phish on Phish Radio.
2. “100 Best Movies currently on Netflix”
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New Year’s Eve in New York City 2019: Last Minute Plans My annual New Year's Eve last-minute guide to events that are still available to do on New Year’s Eve 2019 (when 2018 turns into 2019) in New York City…
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It would be nice if we didn’t all hate each other.
Tuesday, November 8th, 2016 was a day that shocked us all. It was a historic day in American history that unleashed an ugly and unappetizing crock pot recipe of raw human emotion. As the day moved from afternoon to evening, my weariness and uncertainty built as I saw Donald Trump’s Electoral College votes outnumber Hillary Clinton’s even though her popular vote surpassed Trump by nearly 3 million people. I remember not being able to stomach food or sleep well that night, I remember my roommates crying over the idea of having to raise their child under that dark and almost super-villiany grey cloud of a Trump presidency. As the evening went on and major news networks and social media outlets confirmed that Donald J Trump, former reality TV star, admitted sexual assaulter and business mogul, would be the next leader of the free world I felt empty, defeated, angry and betrayed. All the conflicts of interest, his uncharismatic, corporate sleaze and boorish, childish, petty misogynistic behavior would never unite an extremely divided country. It still leaves my stomach and conscience in knots. November 8th, 2016 was a day that broke my heart.
Wednesday, November 9th, 2016 I had an English Composition course at my community college and I couldn’t help but notice the powerful effect that the election results had on my fellow students. Sadness, dismay, betrayal and anger were the main emotions of the day. I saw at least a dozen people around campus sitting alone and crying or inconsolably collapsed in the arms of a friend crying out unintelligible words of betrayal and woe. Every corner of campus that I walked through I saw students and staff alike in bewilderment and sad confusion as to how we got here and what the next four years will look like for the country. This was not a day of joyous celebration and revelry, it was a day that my roommates and I honestly thought would end with mass civil unrest and absolute chaos in the streets.
Trump’s staggering and unprecedented (and mostly unwanted) election victory even turned me into a monster. I remember thinking that all Trump voters were human garbage. Obviously a horrible thought and one that I don’t really mean. I have friends and family who have very conservative views, views that I clash on, but still sincerely love and respect them. Trump voters are not garbage and I wish no harm upon them, but at the same time I really don’t want to talk to them. I see what they voted for, and I see a lot of Trump’s characteristics and personality traits in them. It’d be nice if we didn’t all hate each other. It would be nice if we could have bipartisanship and work as citizens to work to find common ground with our family and neighbors.
I’m a concerned citizen who sees a corrupt, sick, demented, delusional, braggadocious, misogynistic, manipulative, xenophobic, hateful and very untrustworthy man currently occupying the highest position of public service, the President of the United States of America. I am registered and proud Democrat, I see equality, egalitarianism, human rights, freedom and civil liberties as the bedrock of a truly free democracy. I am a upset and in a state of mourning and anguish almost every day. These post election times have made me feel like I did after breaking up with an ex girlfriend. I still go to school, make time for family and friends and function well in society, but there’s an atmosphere now more than ever of distrust and skepticism when I meet new people. It feels like when Donald Trump “won” the election on November 8th, that the country split in two. We are living in kind of Bizarro world and there’s a feeling of hopelessness in a majority of people, the majority who did not want Trump as President. I accept that fact that he is Commander In Chief, but I will never give him or his supporters the satisfaction of putting his last name after the word President, he doesn’t deserve it.
So, call me a libtard, snowflake, crybaby or any other right wing term that you may think dehumanizes and insults Democrats or left leaning Americans. I’m sad and I feel like crying because I see through the thin veil that is Trump. I see a man who purposely divided our country with lies, and proven collusion with Russia, a man who wants to oppress and destroy as much as possible and it makes me sick. This man is not a leader, he only wants the confetti, admiration and parades that come with winning. He’s only about winning while every American, Trump supporter or not, will suffer from his policies and insane viewpoint on the world. So while a majority of us see through to what Trump truly is, a weak, spineless, unstable, tyrannical dictator, we can still find hope. He’s inspired me to write and remain loud and opinionated and to take some Journalism classes. He has shown that any unqualified half wit can cheat their way into the Presidency of the United States. He has shown that a clueless, hateful billionaire fraud can do anything if they work hard enough to take money from struggling Americans to support his campaign. So, if a lying monster who is the antithesis of former President Barack Obama can hold the highest position of public service, then honest, ethical, humanitarian people can become President of the United States too. People may be tired of hearing and seeing political statements and opinions on their social media feed, but it’s not going to stop. Politics and political science affect every facet of American life. I’m angry and more impassioned than ever before, we have to resist at every possible corner, we have to be louder when told we should shut up. Trump is temporary, he can’t silence all of us. As Jon Stewart said on his final episode of “The Daily Show”, “The best defense against the bulls–t is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.”
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