#// hopefully you guys like this. i loved writing it out
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Returning Favors {part 5.} (housemate!harry series) (SMUT)
A Shift Occurs {part 4.} (housemate!harry series) (SMUT)
AN: when i started this chapter i had intended for it to go in a completely different direction but as i began writing it, i let the words flow and wrote it this way instead. i really hope you enjoy and don't forget to leave your feedback and remember to send in things you'd like to see in this series. xoxo
This story contains: mentions of handjobs and blowjobs, slight angst, pillow talk, cunilingus, fluff
{ housemate!harry - friendrry - friends to lovers trope - softrry }
word count- 3,459
While making arrangements to introduce your friends to Harry, he seizes the chance to ask about your abrupt departure after your intimate encounter earlier that day. This conversation unexpectedly leads to Harry performing oral sex on you for the first time.
As you make your way around the street corner, you are greeted by your friends, Mave and Charlotte, who are waving you over to the table they had set aside for your brunch. The cafe features a beautiful outdoor space, perfect for the current time of year. Upon joining them, they quickly pick up on your more upbeat attitude. While you typically don't appear gloomy, you have been feeling rather indifferent for the past year. However today, they observe a slight improvement in your mood.
"Hi, Hi." you lean in to kiss each of their cheeks and sit down at the round table.
"We've ordered you a mimosa. Wasn't sure what you wanted to eat so we haven't ordered our food yet though." Charlotte explans.
"Oh, well thank you." you take a sip of your mimosa and moan at how delicious the drink is.
"What's making you so cheerful today? Is it because of Harry?" Mave questions with cheeky smile, aware of your growing connection with your housemate and the recent revelation of your mutual feelings towards one another. Your friends are genuinely happy for you, knowing how long you've been single and how it affected you.
Brushing them off, you answer, "What? A girl can't look happy on a Sunday morning without there being a reason?" But they know you better then that. The aurora you're giving off is one of a girl who's in love. Though they wouldn't tell you that this soon in your relationship with Harry.
"No it's just," Mave starts, "look, we want the details. Did you guys have sex this morning? Because you look like your glowing and it's not from your skincare routine." Her and Charlotte stare you down, waiting for an answer and you know you must give them one. Otherwise they'll never let this conversation rest.
"Alright, alright. We did do some sexual stuff this morning. But not sex. I just kind of gave him a handjob which then turned into a blowjob."
Your two friends are smiling ear to ear at your confession. "And.... what else? Don't tell us he left you high and dry after you literally had his dick in your mouth." Charlotte utters in a hushed yet audible tone, ensuring that you can hear her amidst the bustling traffic and crowd, while hopefully keeping your conversation private from others.
You express with annoyance in your tone, "It wasn't as you think. I woke up to find him cuddling me and noticed he was aroused. Therefore, I chose to assist him. Once he woke up and realized he was hard, he eventually agreed to my help. I began by giving him a handjob under his briefs, but then decided to go further with a blowjob. And he didn't reciprocate because I left quickly after he came. So, I'm unsure whether he would've wanted to do something for me in return."
Mave reaches across the table and playfully swats your arm. "You fuckin' idiot. You should have stayed to see if he would've pleasured you as well. You could've gotten an amazing orgasm out of him."
"Hey," you spit back, "I did have an amazing orgasm this morning. Just... with my vibrator in the shower before I came here." Though you're sure Harry would beat every single one of your toys if you gave him the chance to prove it.
After chatting for a few more minutes you realized just how hungry you were and decided to order your food and another round of mimosas. You catch up on each others lives and make plans for them to come by the house to hang out one night. They have yet to meet Harry and you thought what better way to introduce them than to invite them over for some drinks and maybe a card game. You'll just have to ask him if that would be okay.
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Upon returning home later that evening, you notice Harry seated on the sofa, engrossed in a pile of papers and his laptop resting on his lap. Presumably grading tests, you assume. After placing your bag in the entryway, you make your way over to the couch. Surprisingly, the atmosphere doesn't feel as awkward as you had anticipated, considering the events that unfolded earlier in the day.
"How was your brunch?" Harry questions, shifting to set all of his work onto the coffee table.
"Great. Really fun." you answer before continuing, "So I have a question."
"Hm, so do I actually but go on." Harry replies, taking a sip of his coffee. He doesn't know what your question is but he knows his question is in reference to why you ran off so quickly this morning after you gave him that blowjob. It's been eating at his mind all day and he'd really like some closure so he can relax.
"Okay, so I was thinking we could have a little get-together with my friends, Mave and Charlotte. They're eager to meet you, and I thought it would be a great opportunity to invite them over this upcoming weekend. We can enjoy some drinks and perhaps even play that card game I purchased some time ago but haven't had the chance to play yet."
Harry nods in agreement. "Yeah, sounds great. How about this Friday night? I can stop by the shops on my way home from work and grab some alcohol. Just let me know what kind they prefer." He is genuinely excited to finally meet your friends. Since becoming your housemate, you've kept your personal life mostly private from him. As a result, he hasn't had the chance to meet any of your family members and has only heard stories about your friends.
"Fantastic," you declare, jumping up from the couch excitedly. "I'll call them right away and let them know. They'll be so happy." Just as Harry was about to remind you that he had a question as well, you've already disappeared from his line of sight. Your sudden departures today seem to be a trend. He reckons he'll have to wait a bit longer to find out the reasoning behind your quick exit this morning.
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At approximately ten o'clock at night, you and Harry are lying in your bed, watching reruns of Friends while trying to stay awake. The room is dark besides the glare of the tv and his cat Pixie is nestled in the middle of the bed, sleeping soundly. Although she hasn't always been allowed in your room, ever since Harry started visiting so frequently, you have embraced her presence as well.
Right as your eyes began to shut, you remember how Harry had a question for you earlier but never got to ask it. You didn't mean to run off like you did. You just got excited to call your friends and let them know they're welcomed to come by the house this Friday for the small gathering. Which in turn made you totally forget he had a question in the first place.
"Harry," you say aloud. The call of his name startles him. He'd just dozed off to sleep and your voice pulled him away from the unconsciousness he was about to enter.
"Mhm, what?" he grumbles, eyes half open as he tries to stay awake in order to hear you speak.
"What's your question? You said earlier you had a question but you never got to ask me it."
Harry found himself more awake as he thought about how to bring up his question. To be honest, he was feeling a bit nervous to ask. Even though this question had been on his mind all day, he hesitated to ask, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or create any distance between you. "Um, was just gonna ask why you left so suddenly this mornin'. You know, after you gave me that blowjob? It seemed like you were ashamed of your actions or somethin'. I was plannin' to return the favor, but you left before I had the opportunity to ask."
With heart shaped eyes, you coo softly, "You were?"
"Well yeah. It's only right that I returned the favor you did for me. I'm not a douche bag like some men can be."
"Awe, that's so sweet of you. But um, I don't know. Guess I remembered how I'd just woke up and maybe didn't smell the best down there or that I may have tasted bad from the hours of sleep I was in prior. Just didn't want to disgust you in any way."
With a gentle tone, Harry expressed, "Y/n, your scent or taste wouldn't have been an issue for me. Even if it was there, I wouldn't have mind. Because it's you, and I genuinely care about you. I would have found pleasure in it regardless. If anyone has ever made you feel insecure about the natural smell of your vagina, they are truly right dicks"
Breathing deeply, you sadly admit, "Yeah, I've had some men attempt to go down on me first thing in the morning but complained about the way I smelt or tasted and so, I just didn't want you to do the same as them."
Sliding impossibly close to you, Harry responds back, "Well I'm not those other men. I respect women more than that and I may just have a thing for oral sex. Givin' and receivin'. Plus, it feels even better when you really know and trust the person."
You giggle shyly and except his closeness, the two of you laying on your sides facing each other. "Dick or pussy though?"
"What?" Harry asks with a sleepy smile, unsure of what you're questioning.
"You said you had a thing for oral sex. So do you prefer sucking dick or eating pussy?"
"Mhm, depends on who the person is and my connection to them. Both are great but it also depends on what mood I'm in to give you a solid answer." It's no secret Harry likes men as well. When you first moved in with him he had a short fling with a guy and you assumed he was gay for like the first month. But then when you heard a girl moaning through his bedroom walls, you realized that wasn't the case. The next day you questioned him and he confidently came out as bisexual to you.
Deciding to continue these questions just to see where it could lead, you keep going, "And, what mood are you in right now?"
Harry suddenly became aware of the dense atmosphere, yet he responded truthfully. "Considerin' that I'm currently in your bed, nearly cuddling you, and you happen to possess a vagina, I would say 'pussy.' However, if I were to discover that you possessed a penis, the answer would be 'cock.'"
He moves one of his hands up to cradle the side of your face. It's so incredibly close to his that he can just about taste the mint of your toothpaste. "Good thing I have one of those two options then and I'm not some alien with no genitals at all."
What Harry wants to say is that he'd love you just the same, even if you were a genitalless alien, but he can't. Not yet anyways. So he responds, "Wouldn't change how I feel about you." With the close proximity, you get the sudden urge to surge forward and clash your lips with his. As if he felt this coming, Harry didn't react surprised at all and accepts the kiss. You both realized this is the first time you've kissed each other. You've shared your feelings, your beds, and you've gave him a blowjob. Yet this makes your first time kissing.
Harry intensifies the kiss by gently prodding his tongue against your lips, and you grant him permission to enter. The kiss is wet, rushed, and somewhat messy, yet incredibly enjoyable. After a minute of exchanging saliva, you pull back to take a deep breath and confidently state, "Prove it then. Prove you're in the mood for some pussy."
With surprise written on his face, Harry leans back a tiny bit to make sure he's reading you correctly. "You sure? I don't have to if......" He'd be more than happy to eat you out right here, right now, but he doesn't want you to ask because you feel obligated to agree or because you're in the heat of the moment.
Responding eagerly, you assert, "Yes, I'm sure. But please be quick before I change my mind." The mention of urgency and the potential for a change of mind prompts Harry to swiftly toss the covers back and carefully positions himself between your legs. He gently lifts Pixie from the bed and places her on the floor where she discovers her cat bed near the window sill and resumes her peaceful sleep.
At this very moment, Harry finds himself surprisingly nervous as he positions himself between your legs. Although he has longed to perform oral sex on you, both this morning and in his countless fantasies, the actual prospect of doing so fills him with apprehension that he may not satisfy you adequately. Additionally, he frets over the possibility of being unable to bring you to orgasm.
Curiosity arose within you as to why Harry was taking such a long time, prompting you to prop yourself up on your elbows. From this viewpoint, you observed him fixating on your bottom half, which was concealed by some skimpy shorts you typically sleep in. However, as soon as he notices your gaze upon him, he swiftly reaches up and tugs at the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down your legs. To his astonishment, you're not wearing any panties which causing Harry to let out a moan upon catching sight of your naked pussy.
Despite the room being enveloped in a soft glow from the television, it remained dimly lit and quiet. Harry couldn't obtain a clear image of your exposed cunt but he could perceive enough to develop a strong liking to it already. However, this attraction isn't solely based on the physical appearance of your vagina, but rather because it's a part of you.
Harry looks up once more to ensure your approval for his actions. With a nod of reassurance from you, he eagerly begins. His mouth envelops your entire pussy, as his tongue moves from your wet entrance to your sensitive clit. The flavor of you on his tongue almost brings him to climax instantly, hands free. This is undoubtedly the best cunt he's ever had. Your skin is incredibly soft and inviting, with only a few short hairs littered around your bikini area from the shave you did two days ago.
As your elbows grow weaker, you find yourself sinking into the comfortable bed below. Harry's tongue skillfully laps up your arousal before focusing on your clit and experimenting with various flicking patterns. Each time his tongue glides over the sensitive nerves, your entire body responds with a powerful jolt of electricity. It's no secret that your clit is extremely sensitive when receiving attention from the right person.
"Oh fuck, Harry. Feels so good." you moan aloud, reaching down to grab onto his curly locks.
You fear he'll tell you not to touch him, but as he briefly moves his mouth away, he commands, "Tug my hair, baby. It feels amazing." Could it be that he just referred to you as 'baby' for the first time? You believe so, and it heightens your arousal even further.
Listening to Harry's wishes, you pull his hair tightly in your fists, causing his face to be nestled against your pussy impossibly closer than before. You begin to move your hips, creating a subtle rocking motion. Although he may feel a slight burning sensation on his scalp due to the intensity of your grip, as he mentioned, he loves the sensation it gives.
A minute more goes by of Harry munching down on your wet pussy when you feel your orgasm nearly bubble over. "I... I'm..." you try to warn but can't even get the words out from how much pleasure you're in. Harry doesn't say a word back, just goes in even harder, more determined to bring you over the edge.
You finally achieve orgasm when he seals his lips around your clit, applying firm and forceful sucks. Your clitoris pulsates within his mouth, causing you to release an animalistic scream as your orgasm sweeps through your body. Your entire body trembles, compelling Harry to firmly hold your hips to keep you in place. He continues sucking on your clit until your orgasm begins to fade and overstimulation sets in.
The hands that once laced in his hair start trying to push his head away. "Har.... Oh God!" you gasp when he gives your tiny nerve a few more kitten licks to make sure he's pulled every ounce of pleasure from you that he can. You lie there trembling from the aftershocks of your orgasm as Harry sits up on his knees, breathing heavy with a glossy mouth.
Eager to know, though the answer should be evident with how you look right now, Harry asks, "So.... was I any good? Did that prove what mood I was in to you?"
You glance forward to see a devilish smile plastered on Harry's face and just know he's proud of himself. Which, he should. You don't think you've ever came so hard in your entire life. "Yes," you heave, "Oh God, yes. I'm...., that was, God. That was the best orgasm I've ever had."
"Yeah? You just tellin' me that to boost my ego or are you tellin' the truth?"
"Harry, I quit literally can't feel my bones right now. They're like jello. No man nor any one of my strongest vibrators have made me come that hard. No wonder the ladies liked you."
With the awareness that it's already very late and he has work the next morning, Harry decides to rise from the bed and make his way to the bathroom in the hallway to fetch a damp cloth. Your exhaustion prevents you from mustering the energy to question his actions. When he returns, you immediately recognize what he has and instinctively close your legs, still experiencing discomfort.
Harry takes a seat on the edge of the mattress and lightly taps your thighs, silently requesting you to open up. Reluctantly, you comply. As you feel the damp cloth glide over your swollen pussy, you try to pull away, but he firmly holds you in place with one hand on your hip bone. "Shh, it's alright," he reassures you in a gentle tone. "I'm just gonna clean you up, and then we can sleep, okay?"
As you lie on the bed, you notice Harry's erection prominently displayed through his black briefs and a pang of guilt washes over you for not pleasuring him. "But.......what about you? You're still hard. I could give you another blowjob or handjob. Whatever you want." Despite the tempting offer, Harry is too exhausted to engage in any additional activities tonight. Prior to this moment, he was on the brink of unconsciousness. Consequently, his drowsy state has returned as the explicit actions have ceased.
"It'll eventually go away, Y/n. I've got work in the mornin' and it's past midnight as is. Plus m'too tired to do anythin' more tonight. But, if I wasn't so tired and didn't have work so early, then you bet your ass I'd take you up on that offer."
Harry finishes cleaning between your legs and helps you slip your shorts back on. He then turns the TV off and crawls back into your bed beside you. Though your limbs are still weak, you manage to slide over until your head rests on his bare chest and your top leg is thrown over his hairy thigh closest to you.
As the moonlight glows through your bedroom window, sleep takes over both of you as the world around becomes quiet. The only sounds that can be heard are Pixie's soft purring from her location on the floor, the steadiness of Harry's heartbeat, and your exhails of breath.
In your dreaming state, you're still excited for the arrival of this upcoming Friday where you eagerly await the moment when your friends will finally have the chance to meet Harry. With high hopes for a successful gathering, you envision a joyous time ahead. Unbeknownst to Harry, the card game planned for the small get-together holds an R rating, implying that it will serve as an opportunity for everyone to bond and deepen their connections without the need for uncomfortable conversations in the future. Plus, mixed with the alcohol, you can't wait to find out some of Harry's dirty secrets.
(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)
(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )
tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @allthelovehes // @damnasstyles // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet // @meetmyblondemuffins // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles // @skyangel57 // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss // @kissmyaxe140 // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom // @swiftmendeshoran
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My Masterlist Masterpost
#harry styles#harry styles fan fiction#harry styles fic rec#friend!harry#friendrry#housemate!harry#housematerry#softrry#soft!harry#harry x reader#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles series#friends to lovers#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#teacher!harry#bisexual!harry
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I LOVE UR ART IT MAKES ME CRAZY !!! i hope when im 30 im also a librarian who spends their free time drawing amazing furry art an writing fanfiction. sry if this is 2 much ur jus like my hero an i wanted to let u know. like im already grown up but when i grow up i wanna b like u.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS !!!!!!!!!!1!!!
i've been drawing for like ever and i love my job !!!!!!! i get to do stuff with art at my job, too, so it's really great. the moments where i get to help out young people and hopefully inspire them and make them feel joy about what they're into is everything to me. I'M SO FLATTERED TO BE A HERO, YOU GUYS ARE MY HEROES !!!!!!!!!!!!!
#idk what else to say all the time besides THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL AWESOME <3#fruit musings
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I want to apologize.
The ending of season one is posted. I’m not proud of its quality, but I provided a possible ending, even as ambiguous as it is. I got to the point where I started really hating the stuff I was writing as I felt like there was too much I had to wrap up (along with an epiphany that stuff in my personal life is getting to be too much to manage everything), but I felt like I owed you guys some kind of conclusion to the Janus thing… I have a habit of getting bored with my writing right at the conclusion and never coming back, and leaving the story where it was would have been unfair to the people who trusted me to provide a conclusion. So even if it isn’t the conclusion I had hoped, it’s a conclusion, and I hope you can find some satisfaction in that fact.
As for a season two, I do plan to take that route unless there is any strong pushback against it, but I’m taking a quick break first. Season 2 will be returning to the old lighthearted mood, I hope at least, and will most likely center more around Nico. (And of course, it will be resolving the thing between Logan and Cyrus, I know we all love them!)
My apology goes out to everyone who loves my work and were disappointed with the end of season one. I’m sorry if any of my passion for this blog started feeling like it was fading, because honestly it was, but I didn’t want it to. I’m hoping that as I take this step forward into the hopefully-less-filled-with-angst season 2, I feel more ready to supply an experience that I can feel proud of and one that you can find tons of fun in!
Thank you for your support,
Admin
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ra ra ra rating SBG ships out of sheer unknown impulse
if that makes sense
ANYWAY !!!!
FIRST UP :
Aidlyn : 9 . 5 / 10 just cause
sigh . . Guys . . I hate them . I’m kidding but not really . I love them so much I hate them 😿😿 yes yes I know they are overrated and stinky but I LIVE THEM !!!! Plus , I made way too much fanart of them to just be like “ lame , 3 / 10 “ 😹😹😹 ( they SUCKK !!!!! ) love their dynamic ,
Taylyn : 7 . 6 / 10
being honest , they aight . LISTEN !! They just aren’t my favorite . But they are very cutie patootie so they get like uhmsmm yea I could totally see it still . They have their moments , so I do like them quite a bit . :3
Tyden : 9 / 10
I looovooeee them they are so silly so pookie best so shriveled almonds don’t ask anyway I love them . Their dynamic is so silly the bickering is so osisozozojdhsva anyway they would be good together , they have that vibe to eachother and it fits really well
Ashgan ( is that how it is ?? Idk it has Logan and ashlyn ) : 3 / 10
Mmmm nah . Nope . I don’t mean that in a “ this SUXKS I HOPE IT BURNS !!! “ way , more like aaaaa “ It’s notttt it . “ way . I seen them more as siblings lowkey like listen guys they are such big bro little sis vibes you hear me ??? Pslspls
Benlor : 7 . 7 / 10
Also not a favorite ngl . It’s cute , but idk there’s just something there that makes it hard to see but also see st the same time if you get it . Hopefully y’all understand my writing and don’t feel annoyed by it woosys. Anyway , they are cute , but I don’t ship it as much as the others . Maybe it’s cause I just hate drawing ben 😹😹☝️☝️
Tygan : 6 / 10
i like it , it’s silly , I can mayyybeee see it but I don’t like it as much as others may . I need more interacting between them yk ? I ship based on reason like their interactions how they feel about eachother what they done yada yada , and I just might ship them more if they did silly things together more often , and it’s the way their personalities are in some waysysyss . No hate , they cute 🫶😇
yhhh what’s next uhmsm
Benlyn : 3 . 5 / 10
can’t see it personally , they don’t interact as much and we might see it more in the future ofc but rn I’m kinda dead on them . They have potential I’ll give them that but they aren’t it for me . ☝️ Plus I see them more like cousins who see eachother once every 5 months or just on thanksgiving yet they hit it off pretty quickly . ( I don’t see them as actual cousins , that’s just rhe dynamic they give me ) :3
Aidgan :
idk how half of these ship names but ushmmm nah not that much . Maybe it’s just Cause Aiden’s and Logan’s personality difference issss . . Different . Can I say that ? Idk it’s just kinda hard to see between them and I see them more as buddies who team together every science project becahse one of them is better at one thing then the other . Also , team cause friendhsip is magic . 🦶💥
Taylog : 7 . 5 / 10
Seriously I couldn’t tell what it was and I thought “ taygan “ but NO MORE it’s taylog now like eggnog or something anyway they are pretty cute I’d say , I can see it but also not really but also quite a bit if you get me . They are very silly together , I like their dynamic throughout sbg and they would be a good pair in some way or another , would maybe ship :3
Ashler : 7 . 4 / 10
Mmmmmm silly , it’s cute , they bicker , I like the bickering . Buttttt I don’t ship it that much . Usually I say that and give it a high rating just why not , its cute just not for me . As everyone else , they certainly changed a lot throughout the comic and their dynamic became more clear and also potential showed . Soosooo
guys idk what other ships there are pleas whlep me I’ll rate polyships next time give me names I can’t think of anymore pslsplspslpsls
#My little pony I always wondered what friendship could be my little pony till you all shared its magic with me adventure tons of fun besutdi#Ignore that .#Guys don’t hate me over this plspslsosl#Love y’all and your silly ships#No proships 👎👎#Debating on changing taylyns but yk idk yet#They are all so cutie patooties relationship or friendhsip wise#The friend group ever am I right ??? 😹😹#I really really really want stuffed crust pizza but I’m trying to loose weight GOSH WHY IS THIS SO HARD !!!#I’m 98 pounds or something that’s unacceptable by my standards#Ignore thay#I rrallylyl wbat oizza but I have no money#Isn’t my soelling so supertastictubular#It is right ?? Say yes#school bus graveyard#What did I want to say#i forgor 💀#sbg#sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard webtoon#anyways#ships#SBG ships
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against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part nine
alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader
warnings: mentions of grief, suggestive material, hurt/comfort
(a/n in the tags) [parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve]
word count: 6.6k
words in italics: whatever language you like
Before this misunderstanding could get any bigger, you stepped in quickly.
“Alexia, this is Elisa, my daughter and that’s my brother’s husband, Robert. Elisa, Robert, this is Alexia.”
At that, Alexia’s gaze softened but when she met your eyes, questions swam in those hazel pools, ones that you sensed concerned your daughter. You gave Alexia a tight-lipped smile in answer–this was neither the time nor place to talk about something like that.
“Oh, I see. It’s nice to meet you both,” Alexia spoke in English.
She walked closer to the stands to where Robert stood and reached out a hand for him to shake. Robert–who finally got some of his color back after Alexia stopped leering at him–regarded Alexia’s hand with an uneasy look like it was something dangerous before he eventually shook it. Then Alexia turned to Elisa and offered her a closed fist while your daughter only gawked at Alexia, obviously starstruck. “And it’s nice to meet you, too, Elisa.”
Elisa remained still and unusually quiet so you coaxed softly, “ladybug?”
That seemed to snap Elisa out from her starstruck stupor and as she came back to herself, her eyes darted to you. You smiled at her, encouraging, then you tilted your head at Alexia’s direction. Slowly, Elisa bumped her fist against Alexia’s, cheeks reddening immediately as she scurried off behind Robert right after, peeking through the gap between her uncle’s hip and arm to look at Alexia shyly.
“Do you want me to sign your shirt?”
Elisa nodded. Robert passed the shirt to Alexia, who signed it, before she passed it back to Robert.
“Thank you,” came Elisa’s bashful gratitude.
When your eyes flitted back to Alexia’s face, you found her brows tilted upwards which allowed the stadium lights to brighten her already fair eyes. She looked on at Elisa’s timid display with warmth and the sight of such softness in her demeanour tugged at your heartstring.
Without tearing her attention away from Elisa, Alexia said through a small smile, “she’s adorable, no?”
“She’s a little shy but she’s actually a big fan of yours. You should see her practicing your moves–”
“Mom…” Elisa whined, stopping you from embarrassing her further. You sent her an apologetic smile before you mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ to her.
“Oh, you play football? How old are you?” Alexia asked softly.
After a moment of silence, you took the helm when you noticed Elisa wasn’t going to answer. Her reaction to Alexia was completely understandable. Alexia, despite being one of the warmest people you knew, could easily intimidate some with her presence due to her reserved and stoic nature. Her gaze–especially for the ones who were new to meet her–could be so intense and disarming that it was hard not to look away or, in this case, shy away from her.
“She turned twelve last February. And yes, she’s actually enrolled in a Barça Academy located near our city.”
Alexia’s brows rose with interest. She regarded Elisa again as she spoke, switching to Spanish this time, with clear approval in her tone. “So she has Blaugrana in her blood. What position does she play?”
“Barça is by far her favorite club and it doesn’t help that you play in it. And she plays forward.” You answered in the same tongue.
Alexia hummed, the corner of her lips quirking up. You knew that look so when she turned back to you, you raised a brow at her.
“What? Disappointed she doesn’t play midfield like you?”
She flashed you a sheepish half-smile and rubbed her cheek with a finger, a gesture that you still found so endearing, before she threw her hands up in false surrender. “I’m just saying! And you can’t really blame me for having a bias.”
“No, of course not. How could I hold that against you?” You said in an excessively dry tone. What you didn’t expect was for Alexia to throw her head back as laughter bubbled out from her throat in a familiar melody that tickled your ear, and you couldn’t help the grin that made its way to your lips at her amusement. She looked so beautiful like this: her hair–now back to its light brown shade–untamed with the way baby strands clung to the slight dampness on her temple, and the rosy blush painted upon her cheeks and nose from the events that just occurred; she looked so carefree in this moment, in the aftermath of their victory, that the glow of her youth shone right through, unfiltered.
When your eyes flitted over to Elisa and Robert, you found them gaping at your interaction with wide eyes, looking very much unsure on what to make of it. Then you also realised Alexia’d stopped laughing and she was now looking at you with a small smile on her lips. Your cheeks warmed at the attention, at having been caught staring, so you casted your eyes down to your feet, clearing your throat as you kicked an invisible pebble.
It surprised you, the ease with which you were able to fall back in playful banter with Alexia as if the fifteen months that made strangers from the both you never existed. Alexia must’d thought the same thing because when you looked at her again, Alexia’s smile had dimmed somewhat but the warmth in her eyes never left.
“Congratulations on the win, by the way. You earned it. All of you did.” You said, indicating at the golden medal around her neck. The urge to hug her as you spoke pervaded you but you managed to brush it off.
Alexia looked down at it, her lips quirking up into a small proud smile.
“Thank you.” A pause as she regarded you. And then, “want to hold it?”
The suggestion took you aback and you were quick to dismiss her. “Oh, no, I’m good–”
Alexia, being Alexia, stepped into you space anyway, took your right hand and placed the medal on your palm. You tried not to focus too much on how her touch electrified you by focusing on how the surface of the metal cooled your skin, its weight surprisingly heavier than it looked, and you traced its intricate engravings with the pads of your fingers, admiring the details.
“Can we talk?” Alexia said in a low voice that only the both of you would be able to hear. She was standing less than an arm’s length away from you–when did she get so close?–and the softness you found in her hazel eyes when you gazed up at her made you want to reach out and brush your thumb over the skin beneath them.
At your silence Alexia touched your right wrist and you felt her thumb grazed ove the bracelet she gave you. Her gaze was magnetic and you were powerless against her pull.
You began, “I–”
“Alexia! Come on, we have to go!” Both of your heads turned to the voice. It was Misa who was waving Alexia over to where their other teammates were gathering. Alexia gave Misa a gesture to wait and she looked back at you again but with desperation now in her eyes.
“Go. I’ll be in Barcelona for a week starting next Thursday. We can talk sometime then?”
Alexia nodded, gave you a small smile before she turned to walk away. She startled you when she faced you again and before you knew it, her arms were wrapped around your shoulders.
“Same place?” She whispered in your ear.
You snaked your arms around her waist.
“You know where to find me.”
So it was then on this late, warm Friday evening in Barcelona the week after the Olympics final, you found yourself opening the door to Alexia.
You had agreed to meet the next day for lunch so it was more than a surprise to you to find her under the warm glow of the porch light right then. And before a word could even leave your mouth to voice your confusion, Alexia strode into your space, crowding you until your back hit the cool surface of the wall next to the door as it swung close.
Alexia was in front of you now, the distance between you so sparse that you could feel the heat that emanated from her body. You stared up at her, breathless when you were finally able to speak, “Alexia–”
“Are you seeing someone right now?” Her tone was even though the crease in her brows and the fervid depth in her eyes made you shiver.
“Wait, what are–”
“Just answer me!”
“No! Why–”
Before you knew it, her hand cradled your jaw as she brought her lips to yours, and the only thing you could do was gasp from the sudden heat of it all. It was filled with such ardour, Alexia’s kiss, that each movement of her lips threatened to both destroy and mend you again, each pull as devastating and as sweet as the last. But the sweetness didn’t last long; not after you felt the warmth against your cheeks and tasted salt on your tongue.
Alexia was crying.
She was aching, you knew it–could feel it in the slight quiver of her lips, in the frantic way with which her fingers tangled in your hair. And from her pain came yours, unfurling from your heart, into your throat, longing–reaching–to comfort and be soothed by her, your almost lover. Though it hurt, it made your teeth ache with the bittersweetness of it all because here she was breathing the same air as you, sharing the same heat as her lips melted with yours, and, god, how it felt like coming home–like the first breath once you breached the surface after being submerged for so long.
Was this what it felt like to be exhumed? Was this what life tasted like?
The kiss was slow and deep, the way only two almost lovers knew how to; the both of you took your time mapping each other’s lips, learning how to move in the same rhythm again. It was familiar but the tenderness–that gentle ardour–was above all else amplified, warming your flesh and blood to a delicate simmer.
You sighed against Alexia’s lips as you pressed your body further into her, and in response she to you, and you relished how in spite of the strength that rested beneath the firmness of her self, everything about her remained, oh, so soft. And it was this want for more closeness that prompted you to tighten the grip around her hand that cupped your jaw, an unspoken plea for her to not let go–to not let you go.
How had you gone on for so long without her touch?
A familiar scream ruptured the silence, shattering the moment instantly.
It was automatic and immediate your reaction to it: you tore yourself from Alexia’s embrace and rushed towards Elisa’s bedroom, ignoring the way your vision blurred from the sudden exertion, your lungs protested as you hurried up the stairs. You were already expecting it but like all the times you were faced with it, your heart broke all the same at the sight of Elisa sitting up by the headboard of her bed, spine crooked as she curled in on herself, head lowered to the top of her knees while her hands pressed against her ears. Upon your intrusion, she lifted her head to reveal wide eyes that darted to you, frantic at first, but the apprehension in them dimmed when she saw you.
You tried to compose yourself as you approached her slowly, before you placed yourself just by the edge of her bed.
Gently, you called out, “ladybug?”
Not a second later did Elisa throw herself into your embrace and immediately hid her face in the crook of your neck, her hands clawing and gripping at the fabric of your shirt while her sobs made rattles from her bones. All of her self was tense, taught and coiled, her pain’s physical manifestation–all the intangible grief violently wrought into existence.
Elisa clung to you as she cried and you could do nothing in the moment but offer comfort through your embrace, hugging her just as tight, brushing back her hair–consoling–as you began a common lullaby in her mother tongue, rocking her to its gentle rhythm in the hopes that it could salve the wounds of her past even a little.
In her own time, Elisa emerged from the throes of her grief, her grip on your soaked shirt loosened, her sobs now reduced to hiccups and sniffles. You carded your fingers through her damp hair and wiped the sweat that lined her forehead.
As softly as you could, you whispered, “want to talk about it, ladybug?”
Elisa didn’t answer as she seemed to gather herself, gnawing on her lower lips, brows creased in a pained frown. You were about to remind her that she didn’t have to when she answered in a voice so small that made the rawness in it all the more pronounced.
“I saw Mother’s… I saw her dead beside me again.” She cuddled closer to you before she continued, “it’s always been her but when I looked this time I–”
Fresh tears sprung to her eyes, they fell when she squeezed them shut, and your heart broke a little more. You were quick to hug her tighter, pressing a kiss on the top of her head to console her. Elisa sniffled then she continued, “this time I–I saw you instead. I saw you dead.”
Elisa whimpered and she clung to you again.
“Oh, ladybug. That must have been difficult to see.” You hugged her tighter. “Were you scared?”
Nod.
“What were you scared of?”
Silence.
“I was scared because I thought I was alone again. I was scared you left me, too.”
Her answer made you pause and you regarded her, your worry now twofold.
“What else do you feel, Elisa?”
“I don’t know,” Elisa shrugged. She pressed a fist to her chest, “but it hurts right here. I hate it. I want it to disappear. Why does it still hurt so much?”
The state of her pained you enough as it was but how much more agonising this must be for Elisa? So you pressed your temple on her head as you began, soft but firm when the words passed through your lips.
“It aches so it’s not surprising you want it to go away. And you hate it because it stays with you. And it hurts because you’re still grieving, Elisa. A year may feel like a long time but what happened to you is not an easy thing to move on from. You’re still trying to heal.”
“If there is part of you that’s telling you it’s your fault your family died, I want you to remember that it isn’t. It isn’t your fault. You were so loved, Elisa, and you loved them just as much. And you still are loved.”
“I won’t leave you. As long as we’re here–your Uncle Derek, Uncle Robert, Nana, and I–as long as you want us to be, we’ll be your family and we love you. And death might come for all of us, and it is scary, terrifying and painful most times, but our love will never fade. The love given to you and the love that made you, they will never leave you, Elisa. Love comes and goes, and it may change its form, but it is never lost. You’re right here with me and you’re safe, and I love you. You’re never alone, ladybug, don’t you ever forget that.”
Elisa turned her head to look up at you and in the warm glow of her nightlight, you saw her chin quiver. “Promise you’ll never leave me?”
“As long as I breathe, I promise.”
You pressed a kiss on the top of her head, on her temple, then on her forehead before you hugged her again. Elisa sagged in your embrace as a watery sigh escaped her lips, and though she sniffled, she shed no more tears.
“I love you, too, Mom.”
In response, you kissed her forehead.
“How are you feeling now, ladybug?”
“A lot better, thank you.”
“Do you need me to get you anything?”
“Water, please?”
“Okay. Do you want to come with me downstairs or are you alright with me going for a bit?”
Elisa thought about it before she said, “I’ll be alright here.”
You smiled at your daughter, half encouraging and more than proud, as your chest filled with warmth at her display of bravery. You stood, grabbed a fresh shirt from her closet and placed it on her lap so she could change out of her damp one. “Okay. How about you change into this while I’m gone, hmm? I’ll be right back.”
She nodded and you darted out of the room but not after you placed another kiss on top of her head and squeezed her knee for reassurance. So engrossed were you in your aim that you nearly ran into Alexia who was just standing off to the side of the doorway, an unopened bottle of water in hand. As soon as she saw you, she offered it to you without a word with a soft look in her eyes made warmer by the dim, yellow glow of the wall lamp beside her head. It was a simple gesture but your heart expanded from the thought behind it, so much so that you nearly cried when you took the bottle from her.
“Is there anything else you need?” Alexia whispered as she stepped into your space, brushing the back of her hand over your cheek gently. You leant into the comfort of her touch and sighed, before you shook your head in answer.
“This is more than enough, thank you.” You met Alexia’s gaze one more time before you knocked on Elisa’s door and slipped back into it upon her consent. Once inside, you opened the bottle and gave it to Elisa and as she sipped from it, you ventured into her closet again to grab a small towel to dry her sweat with.
“How do you feel, ladybug?” You asked as you ran the towel over her face and the back of her neck.
“Sleepy,” she said with a small smile. You returned it in kind.
“Do you want to try going back to sleep? I’ll stay here if you want.”
Elisa yawned her agreement as she nodded so you tucked her in. Then you reclined against her headboard and began a lullaby, gently dragging the back of your finger in the space between her eyes until her eyelids fluttered close before her breathing deepened and eventually evened out. You remained there until you were certain Elisa had fallen asleep completely before you slipped back out, making sure to leave a slight gap between the door and the frame just in case Elisa woke up again.
It wasn’t a surprise when you found Alexia still patiently waiting out in the hall, who pushed herself from the wall she was leaning on upon seeing you.
“Is she okay?” She asked softly, looking over your shoulder at Elisa’s door, concern apparent in her tone and the crease between her brows.
“She’s… she’ll get there. She’s been through a lot for someone so young but she’s getting better.” It was getting frequent again, you noted with more than a hint of worry, Elisa’s recurring nightmares about the horrors she’d witnessed. You knew you needed to talk to Elisa about her therapy and if she’d be inclined to take more sessions to unpack this because there was only so much you could do to help her.
“What happened to her?”
You looked at Alexia at that, unable to answer her–had no desire to if you were being honest. How could you come up with the words to explain it especially when doing so would lead to questions about what happened to you? And that was something you truly didn’t want to, or even knew how to, talk about.
Alexia must had found something in your eyes because she just nodded at your reticence and casted her gaze down. You grazed your knuckles over the back of her hand, partly in appreciation for her respect and partly for her to follow you, while you stepped past her to the stairs down to the living room, Alexia’s footsteps not too far behind you.
The both of you entered the living room in silence, the tension from what transpired between the two of you upon Alexia’s arrival and the weight of what you were about to talk about made the air thick for breathing.
With crossed arms you settled on the wingback chair on the far side of the coffee table while Alexia situated herself on the other at the opposite side, leaving the couch unoccupied; the memories in it far too intimate for two people who’d grown apart.
During this reprieve, you finally allowed yourself the luxury to take Alexia in. You didn’t really get the chance to, it had all been a blur the moment she strode through the door, but now your eyes roamed over her freely.
She had a pair of low rise denims on, a leather jacket over a white shirt that revealed a strip of her stomach while her loose, light brown hair framed her face. Even when sitting down, her character remained undiminished especially with the way she sat with her legs parted, one hand hanging over the chair’s arm while the other was on her chin, fingers splayed over her lips as she regarded you quietly in a fixing gaze that left you feeling exposed–vulnerable.
Alexia brushed her lower lip with her fingers as she sank further against the upholstered back of the chair, tilting her chin up slightly as she kept her eyes trained at you. Her movement caused the warm glow of the light to touch her lips, drawing your attention to them, and you noted how they still glistened from the sheen of your lip balm from when she’d kissed you before, and the reminder made you burn, unpleasant in the way it ached, a bittersweet mixture of your immense desire and longing for the woman before you. It was intentional the way she moved; you knew it from the way Alexia’s eyes challenged you to speak up but you couldn’t quite find the words to say–you didn’t dare to.
“Are they real?” Came the question.
It was low and even, how Alexia posed it, but the abruptness with which the silence was broken made you flinch. That didn’t go unnoticed by Alexia it seemed because her gaze immediately softened.
“Are what real?”
“What you wrote in those notes you left me. Are they?”
The silence that settled in the space between you pressed against your chest, made even heavier with the weight in Alexia’s eyes. You tore your gaze away from her and you didn’t dare look back up.
“Look at me and tell me those didn’t mean a thing and I’ll leave.” ‘Just like you left me’, you heard the words Alexia left unspoken and then she continued, “I’ll leave and I won’t bother you again.”
She was serious. You knew if you lied and told her otherwise, she’d keep her word; she’d be out of your life completely. Were you willing to run? Were you ready to live a life without her for good?
Still without meeting her eyes you voiced barely above a whisper, “I… I can’t.”
Then you heard Alexia draw a breath, long and deep, followed by the unmistakable rustle of clothes before the air stilled once more. Not a moment later though a choked sound broke the quiet and immediately, your head whipped to the sound and found Alexia now bent forward, elbows resting on the top of her knees, her head bowed into the cradle of her open palms while her hair formed a curtain around her face.
“‘What’s happening to me? I’ve not know desire like this–like how it is with you. How, then, can I go on without you now that I found you?’” Each word came out strained as her breath stuttered and yours, too, hitched at what Alexia just recited. Then she lifted her head up a fraction but it was enough for you to see the undisguised pain reflected in those eyes and the sight of them made yours burn.
“You didn’t even give me a chance. You wrote and left those words to me but what was I supposed to do with them? What was I meant to do?”
A pause.
“I thought I knew what feeling lost was like. My ACL taught me that and when my father–” Alexia screwed her eyes shut as she drew in a heavy breath. She continued after a moment, “but after you went away, I felt lost again. I didn’t know what to do with myself, didn’t know how or what to feel. All I knew was I was mad at you for leaving, for what you said to me, for not responding… I was hurt. And I felt so empty that I didn’t look through that damn bag you left me.”
“But I missed you. God, I missed you, so I opened it and what did I find? Your fucking notes.” Alexia laughed, flat and void of any warmth, and she shook her head as if in disbelief, digging the heels of her palms into her sockets before looking back at you with raw eyes. “‘With every kiss, every touch, I become more yours. If you ask me to, I will surrender myself to you.’ If you truly meant that, why did you leave?”
“Won’t you even tell me why?” Alexia repeated, now pleading.
“I–” You began but the words caught in your throat as you turned her question over in her head because why, why did you leave?
“I was… I was afraid.” You admitted finally, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Afraid of what?”
“To hear that I meant nothing to you, to know I felt more for you than you did for me. I was just one of your girls, right?” You laughed bitterly, hating the way tears immediately fell down your cheeks, as you looked over Alexia’s shoulder, unable to look her in the eye as you spoke. You were weak enough as it was, so bare that one word from her could make you bleed if she wanted to.
“I couldn’t bear to hear that from you so I left. And perhaps it was cruel of me to leave those notes behind but I didn’t want to take them with me. I didn’t want the reminder of what we had and what we could’ve been. And I guess, deep down, I just wanted you to know how you made me feel because even if it ended, even if it meant nothing to you, that doesn’t change the fact that you made me happy.”
“‘Nothing?’ What do you mean–” Confusion first swam in her hazel eyes but her eyes suddenly widened. “That day… you were there?”
You hastily wiped your tears away with the back of your hand. “Yes.”
“Oh my god,” Alexia whispered as she lowered her head even further, fingers digging into her scalp as she shook her head. You heard her mutter something in Catalan that you couldn’t quite understand, barely catching the familiar Spanish words for ‘kill’ and ‘two’ from whatever she said.
Then Alexia gazed up at you with fire in her eyes. “If what we had meant nothing to me, I wouldn’t be here. Whatever you heard that day, there’s no truth to it.”
“All of it? Then tell me, what did Mapi mean when she said I’m one of your girls?”
At that, Alexia opened her mouth before closing it again, then she casted her gaze aside.
Your heart dropped.
She wrung her fingers, the muscle in her jaw ticked while her frown deepened but she found the courage to look you in the eye again as she began to speak. “After I got injured, I was a wreck. It was one of the lowest points of my life. I felt like I was stuck, like my life was playing out in front of me and I couldn’t do anything but watch.”
“The world moved on but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get past it, what happened and what would come after. It was a constant one step forward, three steps back. So I… I slept around because I needed control. I was spiralling when you met me and it’s–it’s true I had others while I was with you.”
Oh, how her words branded you! Perhaps there was still a small part of you that hoped Alexia would deny it but as the words spilled from Alexia’s lips, that vision was immediately dashed and in its place bloomed anguish. Your eyes burnt as you took Alexia in, she–with her lips pressed in a thin line and the corners of them crooked downwards, brows furrowed so deep her eyes were almost covered–looked guilty and in as much pain as you upon her own admittance.
“I had others but not after the first time we had dinner together. At that point, I stopped. I stopped because I hoped… I hoped that we could be more. I still do. But it never meant nothing to me, you never meant nothing to me. I just want you to know that.”
You bit your lip as her words sank in, and your stomach dropped even further as you realised something. The falling out, it was all your fault, wasn’t it? If you’d just talked to her, none of this would’ve happened.
The silence must had lasted longer than you realised because you heard Alexia’s whispered plea, “please, say something.”
“I… I want nothing more than to be with you, Alexia. In my mind, it had always been you and instead of telling you, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t make my intentions clear and it was unfair of me to expect you to know them. I was going to–I was going to ask you to be mine that night but when I heard you say those words, I lost it.”
Tears tracked down your cheeks as you choked out, “I’m sorry. I broke us, didn’t I?”
Alexia was quick to answer.
“No, you were scared and hurting. I can’t hold that against you. And it’s not just you, it’s not like I was very vocal about what I wanted either. I should’ve told you what you meant to me, I should’ve made it clear what I wanted from this–from us.” Alexia looked into your eye with an ardent disposition that made you shiver while a small, hopeful smile graced her lips. “I still want you. If you still want me, have me.”
Her declaration moved you and this wasn’t the first time tonight that her words made your heart ache–fed fuel to the fire that was your yearning. The temptation to accept her offer was too much but you stopped yourself; the logical part of you who knew that you weren’t the same person as the one Alexia met prevented you from saying yes.
“I’m not the same person I was from before, Alexia. And I have a child. I don’t want you to trick yourself into thinking you want what comes with me just because you want me.”
“Then let me in! Let me know this version of yourself and don’t decide for me if I want or don’t want to be with you. Let me make that choice this time.” Alexia said, almost exasperated in the way she threw her hands up but desperation weighed heavier in her voice. “We don’t need to label it. You’re mine and I’m yours, isn’t that what matters?”
“And if it doesn’t work out?”
“And if it does? And now that we know what we want from each other, it’s not like how it was before.” Alexia countered easily. Then she added with a half smile, teasing. “C’mon. I thought you’re the optimistic one in this relationship?”
You couldn’t help it, you smiled at her lightness. Then you nodded.
“Okay. So, can we start over slow?”
“That sounds good.” Then Alexia grinned, mischievous with the way she brushed her thumb over her nose and how her dimple gilded the corner of her lips. “Hi, I’m Alexia. What’s your name?”
The absurdity of what she said caught you off guard, even more so the laughter that bubbled out from your throat. As your laughter faded and Alexia’s grin dimmed to a small smile, a vacuous silence settled over the both of you, a welcome reprieve from the weight and tension that filled the air moments ago. Your eyes roamed over Alexia’s figure in silent appraisal, and hers over yours, as you mapped the familiar contours of her silhouette. Then you noticed a change in her demeanour: her eyes darkened, a look you were well acquainted with fifteen months–a look that your body remembered all too well with the way your flesh burnt.
“Did you have others?” The question took you aback and you were sure that you weren’t able to hide the surprise from your face because where the hell did that come from? Still, you indulged her.
“Not in the way you think. I can’t even kiss anyone without thinking of you. It’s not fair to them if I take them on as my lover when I know I’m still hung up on you.”
“‘Still’, huh?” Alexia hummed in response and her gaze only became darker, eyes now lidded.
You scoffed at her arrogance but it lacked any real bite because it was true anyway. Your cheeks warmed at her attention and you crossed your legs, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Alexia–the way she bit her lower lip made it known to you she knew just what she was doing to you–before you casted your eyes aside, down to the floor. “Don’t be an ass about it.”
At the sound of clothes rustling, you looked back up only to find Alexia had already crossed the distance and now stood an arm’s length away. Your body, always in tune to her presence, parted your legs before you could think better of it and Alexia claimed what little space between you, her knees now against the edge of the chair.
She planted both hands on either side of your chair’s arms as she leant down, craning her neck so that you could feel the warmth of her breath against your cheek.
“I’m being serious.”
The words were whispered so close to your lips that you could feel the heat of hers as they brushed over yours.
“I tried. But you… you had others, didn’t you? I saw the photos.” You tilted your head, relished the way Alexia followed and ghosted over your lips as you did so, whispering the words against her jaw.
She shivered.
“One. Just the one before I read your notes.” And she leant in again and this time, you could almost taste her lips from how close she was to you. “She never touched me. And besides, who do you think she looked like?”
An image of the woman came to your mind. You didn’t realise it then but now her resemblance to you became apparent: the colour of her hair and the length of it, the colour of her eyes, her height. They were all similar to you.
“But you touched her.” It wasn’t a question and the silence that followed was confirmation enough. You didn’t hold that against her–couldn’t–but it hurt you still. You didn’t even know you’d teared up until Alexia swept her thumb over the corner of your eye, soft and careful; apologetic. And then a fire sparked in you, an all consuming green that prompted you to ghost your lips back to Alexia’s neck. You didn’t miss the way her pulse jumped when you left a light kiss there.
“Tell me, Ale. Did she feel better than me?”
“No,” Alexia choked out and the heat of it warmed your ear.
A kiss to the corner of her jaw. “Did she moan your name like I did?”
“No.”
You placed another kiss to the lobe of her ear before you whispered, low and cruel, and obscenely shameless.
“Did she come for you like I did?”
That did it.
Alexia took the back of your head in her hand and pulled you in for a kiss. A soft moan left your mouth–or was it from Alexia–as you surrendered to her heat, melting instantly and lips parting for her and her only. You felt her other hand creep down to the small of your back where she pulled you forward, urging you to stand up. When you did, and without breaking the kiss, Alexia manoeuvred the both of you until you felt the soft texture of the couch against the skin of your calves.
You pulled away with a gasp and before Alexia could upon her eyes, you stepped aside and pushed her just enough for her to end up on the couch, eyes flying in surprise at the sudden change of position. She opened her mouth, as if to protest, but she quickly shut it when you straddled her lap, hands automatically over her jaw and neck as you sank into her lips again.
Alexia dragged her lips away from yours and you were about to sigh in disappointment until you felt her tracing the lobe of your ear with her tongue. Then she nipped along your jaw as she whispered, a smile clear in her voice, “that’s right… You like being on top.”
You shivered as her hands traced your silhouette but when you felt her hands move from your ass to the edge of your shirt, brushing against the skin of your back with clear intentions, the haze lifted immediately as apprehension filled you. The words didn’t even leave your mouth before Alexia stopped her ministrations, pulling away from your lips gently, and she opened her eyes, which revealed at first the deep desire in them, now replaced with concern as she met your gaze.
“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”
Shaking your head, you placed a slow, lingering kiss on her lips before you broke away again, breathing heavily as you rested your forehead on hers.
“I’m sorry. And no, you didn’t. It’s not that I don’t want you because I do. God, I want you so much, you don’t even know, but I’m not–I think we’re going too fast and Elisa…” You trailed off, cheeks warming.
Without another word, Alexia fixed the hem of your shirt so the strip of exposed skin was covered, and placed a tender kiss on your cheek. Then she shifted beneath you, shrugged off her leather jacket and placed it on the coffee table, before she lied down.
A gentle hand on your back urged you down on her chest and upon doing so, you sighed as a sense of peace washed over you and you found yourself sinking into her tender warmth, into the safety of her arms wrapped around your waist.
She brushed back hair from your temple and you felt the flutter of her hum against your cheek before you heard it. “Are you comfortable?”
The gesture made you ache and you feared your words would fail you if you spoke so you only nodded, nuzzling the column of her neck with your nose and placed a kiss there as a form of gratitude.
Alexia pressed her lips on top of your head and then you heard her sigh, content. “Good.”
#ap11#not proofread#mine#my writing#a/n:#i told yall last time words will be spoken so here they are finally#kept changing my mind on where to put some of the scenes/dialogues. i cut out a pretty juicy one from this part for future use (hopefully)#dead tired but i finished it yall 🥲 i dont have fresh eyes atm so extra sorry for any mistakes in grammar/prose/spelling etc.#hope you guys like this and would love to know what you think about the story so far#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader
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sooooo is peppermint ever updating like...lmao....
woah.
wooooooah.
okay, like maybe i'm being sensitive, but i do NOT fuck with this energy. do not come at me with this passive aggressive bs. thx! <3
jokes aside, i'm sorry for being unprofessional, but this message feels very meanspirited and not chill to me....please take several seats.
so, no one asked me to, which is fine, but since about april, i have written over 100k, which is about the length of two novels. i wrote very detailed plot journals, meticulously planned my fanfiction out, did extensive research, nearly destroyed my fingers formatting, spiraled mentally several times, cried several nights over peppermint, self isolated, frightened several people in my life, ate and slept so infrequently that i developed a bacterial infection, and nearly failed my finals trying to put peppermint out every single week without fail.
and i do it for me...but mostly...
i do it for all of you.
because i love and cherish you all very much. ( even you, ominous energy anon who is currently polluting my hot girl vibe palace. )
a lot of you have expressed to me that my fanfictions bring great joy, that you feel seen in them, that they positively influence your real lives, that you get excited about my updates and like my writing style, characterizations and storytelling. that gives me great purpose.
recently, the tags have been dry as hell, the sp fandom feels almost nonexistent, my faith and inspiration is fading, but i am doing my very best to hang in there because even though sometimes i get stuck, or my fingers hurt or i feel inadequate or uninspired, it is worth it to me...to make you happy. making you happy makes me happy.
but this...this is really not cute.
and i have had a lot of self doubt and struggles with writing and wondering what the hell i'm even doing and if it's worth it and stuff like this...this energy...really makes me want to irish goodbye! lol!
i do not know when my fanfictions are updating. i wrote old chapters 11 and 12 under a lot of stress, pressure, with no planning, just because i was anxious about keeping you all waiting and i have never felt worse or more embarrassed about something i've written.
so those chapters are gone. because i care about quality. and i cannot rush to produce quality or i will produce garbage which benefits no one. i care about you all too much to half ass my shit.
i don't like to write when i don't want to. and this....really does not make me want to, so thank you very much! feeling the love, bestie!
but to my friends and dear devoted readers who have been kind to me, patient and supportive of my journey as a writer/whatever twists and turns i may make, whether i stop or start, take off or take breaks. i love you very, very, much and i really do write for you. ily, ncu. <3
so when rm 4 drops ( if it does ) and new pep 12 ( if it does ), it will be for all of you kind, lovely, wonderful people and it would be my honor.
but as for you...my friend.
...clearly, there is something hardening over your heart.
something in your life....something you can't process...something that you're projecting onto me...whatever the case...
negativity is a disease, darling,
and from the very bottom of my heart,
i hope you heal. :)
-uncle nina
#sorry for being kind of intense but this...respectfully kind of pissed me off#i do not exist chained to my writing desk no food no drink no sleep writing#and to be honest! i did that! it was very unhealthy! it sucked! my work sucked! and im still reaping the damages#i got so unhealthy writing pep that i literally malnourished myself worse than kenny and got a bacterial infection#i already felt like going into hiding and never posting again bc i was frustrated and felt tired and lost#but this message.....to quote u 'lmaaaaoo' does really not make me want to write ever again!#like i licherally write because i love you guys and u light up my life and i want to give u a safe happy place#but when u pollute my safe happy place with this whack ass energy...its a no for me...#for the people invested in my stuff and kind thank u so much im excited abt my fics its just hard to write multiple chapters#its tedious for me im tired i just want yall to know the plot details the tag is dead its taking so long...ugh#but when theyre out they will be my platonic love letter to u#hopefully this anon was just weirdly worded but if not...please kick rocks and maybe never read my fanfiction again lmao
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wild one pt seven | stranger things ; g.emerson
tag list babes || req rules / fandoms+characters || got a req? || masterlist
CHAPTERS ;
one two three four five six can be found by clicking. stranger things masterlist is here -be warned, it's a clusterfuck rn.
AUTHORS NOTES;
This story still has me in a chokehold.
So... I'm thinking two of you miiight maaaybe possibly...be a little happy with what happens in this part. Honestly, they needed to take a huge leap because summer doesn't last forever y'know. I'm gonna give a shoutout to @pin-down-rainbow and @50shadesofjayden because your comments kind of inspired the huge long winded thing that came to me this time and I love you both for it.
Huge thanks to everybody putting up with -and indulging, my bullshit thus far. The interactions have given me life and they've been keeping me inspire and you don't know how much everything, from likes to comments t reblogs with tags and reblogs they mean the world to me and you guys just have me mind blown rn.
SUMMARY;
-- cheerleaders and drummers aren't supposed to mix. but maybe sometimes, they do.
PAIRING;
Gareth Emerson x Fem!Reader (female parts, personality / outfit descriptions, is a blank slate beyond these things. Or as blank as I could get. I'm still learning this.)
WARNINGS;
swearing, jocks -they are the warning, teenage girls doing dumb things (climbing a water tower to sit and stargaze), more swearing, uh... certain kinks are hinted at if you squint (sir / dominance /etc), meddling stepsisters with loud voices, teeeniest hint of will byers lil crush on mikey boy but it's not integral, that's kind of everything.
TAGLIST;
@littlestarfighter03
TAGLIST;
@AURUMBELIS
@ALLELITESMUT
@ARIES-ARCADE
@COLE22ANN
@ebonybloom
@HEYAITSKLAUDIA
@HCLOANGCLS
@hoeshii
@hotgirlsshareaccounts
@ICEQUEEN1371
@KRYS-ORION
@LETSBEDRAGONSTOGETHER
@LOUDERFORTHEBACK
@MUSICHEALSSCARS
@SECRETSICANTHIDEANYMORE
@SCOOBIESSNACKS
@THECHOICESLOOKGRIMM
@UNTITLEDAREA - these are all the names on my stranger things taglist. if you’d like to be added, please click the link at the top of the post.
OTHER STUFF;
Set in S4 -with none of the Upside Down monsters / Vecna and past instances of the Upside down or deaths. Slice of life kinda stuff, ya know? Gareth is aged up to 18 here. JSYK.
Timeline here is half one night, the rest of the chapter the next day.
“Ugh, I know, I knowwww.” you laugh and tip your head back, gazing up at the twinkling stars overhead. The sleeves of his flannel shirt just manage to graze your fingertips and there’s a distinct chill in the air tonight that subtly tells you the end of summer is coming.
As the breeze picks up just a little, you hug into the flannel shirt and reach out to the little case of sodas sitting between you and Emma. “I know I need to give this back I just…” you laugh and fidget with the sleeve of the flannel a little as you add in a quieter tone, “I can’t, okay? I’ve tried, oh my god. But then I panic. Or I smell him on me because I’m wearin it and my brain shuts down.” you fall back against metal scaffolding and dramatically throw your hand up to your forehead. “What the fuck is wrong with me, Em?”
“You’re a romantic. And,” Emma pauses to take a sip from her own glass soda bottle, “You’re also a chickenshit. And those two things don’t play well together.”
You flip her off and pull yourself to your feet, leaning out over the rail around the water tower’s scaffolding to peer down at the ground below. “Wow. This is really fucking high when you stop to think about it.” you muse, pulling yourself back. Emma nods to a familiar cream colored K5 as it parks. “Chief is here.”
From the ground, Jim Hopper grumbles to himself and cups his hands around his mouth to holler up to the two of you, “Ladies… How many times are we gonna go through this, huh? Water tower’s not safe to climb up and sit on. Can’t ya have your fuckin smoke breaks on the ground? Where it’s safe?”
“Sorry, Hop!”
“Sorry! We’ll come down!” you call out. The two of you gather your cigarettes and sodas and start to carefully make your way back down the ladder. You skip the bottom two rungs on the steel ladder and laugh, gazing up at the older man.
“You give your dad every single one of his grays, don’tcha?” Hopper’s joking, of course. You shrug and laugh quietly. “I mean I’m not tryin to, sir.”
“Don’t let her lie! She lives for chaos.”
“Okay, well.. I’ve gotta get home to the wife. Stop climbing the damn tower, girls. I mean it. You scare Ms. Rosen shitless every single time she looks out and sees it, okay?” Hopper uses his firmest tone and it… Doesn’t have the effect that a similar one when used by a certain Corroded Coffin drummer always has.
You giggle upon the realization, your hand flying up to your mouth because you’re gaping about it.
“What the hell is wrong with you, woman?”
You laugh and shrug. “I was just thinking.”
– ( Gareth’s garage )
It doesn’t register until much later what you called him hours before. But when it does, he fumbles his drumsticks mid-twirl and they hit the concrete with a loud clatter. The missed beat prompts Eddie to sit down his guitar and chuckle, gazing his way patiently. “You gonna be okay, Gare?”
“Fuck.” Gareth mutters, his mind looping what you called him on repeat. Distracted. “Fuck.” is uttered in a quieter and more thoughtful tone as soon as Gareth begins to realize that he liked it. He liked it a lot more than he probably should, truth be told. Just thinking about it now, hours after the fact, it has him straining hard against the black denim he’s wearing. Gareth shifts around on the stool seated behind his drum kit and drags his hand through thick curls. “Just give me a minute, alright? Shit.”
Jeff and Grant exchange puzzled looks and Eddie, determined to get to the bottom of whatever’s going on with his drummer, clears his throat. “Wanna share with the rest of us, maybe?”
“I’m gonna uh.. Smoke.” Gareth snatches up his cigarettes and either Jeff or Eddie’s lighter and he rushes out of the garage, sitting on the concrete in front of it.
“Fuck it. Smoke break, guys?” Eddie asks the other two.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, definitely.”
The three remaining members of Corroded Coffin file out of the garage.
“Okay, spit it out, Gare.”
“Yeah.”
“Just tell us already.”
Gareth takes a drag and shakes his head no. “Yeah, not happening. You assholes give me enough shit already.”
“We won’t.”
“I swear.”
“On Ozzy, man. Just tell us. I’ll beg, dude.” Eddie moves like he’ll grab hold of Gareth’s outstretched leg and goes to lie on the concrete and Gareth backs up a little, laughing and rolling his eyes. “Fine.” he laughs. “It’s dumb.”
After taking a deep breath, he says it fast. In a rush that has his three best friends trying to figure out what he said until Eddie gets him to repeat it. Gareth repeats it with a laugh. “I just realized she called me something earlier, okay? And it’s weird, like.. Fuck.” he shifts the way he’s sitting and takes a very deep breath before puffing the cigarette again, exhaling shaky a few seconds later as he stares up at the sky, “She called me sir. And now I can’t stop fucking thinking about it.”
The three of them try not to laugh, they really do, but Eddie is the first one to crack, his boisterous laugh echoing off the night as he clutches his side. Jeff is almost crying as he nudges Gareth and wheezes out, “Oh hell, you really do have it bad, buddy. It’s baaad.”
Grant is the slower of the three to catch on but when he does, he grins and his laughter immediately worsens. “Holy shit, man. I mean, I suppose I can’t blame you for missing an entire section of beats now, that’s.. Whew.” he fans himself with his t-shirt and raises a beefy arm to rub across his forehead.
“Fuck you. All of you. Now all I’m thinking about is how fuckin flustered I’m gonna be when I’m around her. Fuck!” Gareth thumps the cigarette out into the road and leans back on his elbows, laughing a little at himself. “It was so fucking hot though.”
“Okay, alright.”
“Do not… go any further with that.”
“Yeah, how about we just push this conversation into a bottle and throw it in the ocean, buddy?” Jeff snorts in laughter.
“I always kind of thought you were a kinky little shit, Emerson.” Eddie loops an arm around his friend lazily and Gareth glares, flipping him off as he nudges the arm right back down. “Oh hahafuckyouhaha.” he laughs quietly.
An engine’s roar up at the corner of the street catches their attention and as the red Trans Am whizzes past, Gareth rubs a hand over his face and nods to it. “She drives like she’s got a thousand goddamn lives to spare. I thought Eddie couldn’t fucking drive. Like… she’s my girl but she can’t drive. At all.”
“Hey, asshole.”
“What? It’s true! I wanna kiss the fucking ground every time I get outta your van.” Gareth shrugs as he says it, laughing.
“He’s not lying, Munson.” Grant laughs, ducking away from Eddie.
“Fuck both of y’.” Eddie flips them off, laughing. Thumping his own cigarette out into the street. The Trans Am whizzes past again, the faintest sound of Ace of Spades by Motorhead floating out the car’s interior as it passes.
–(next day, at Hawkins Pool)
You’re easy to spot, the flannel over your new red and white striped bikini stands out amongst all of the other people walking around in various states of undress. You’re leaning against the vending machine and you’re talking to Emma and Chrissy Cunningham.
Gareth is still thinking about the day before.
And the fact that you’re wearing a flannel almost exactly like one he owns, yet again.
It’s a lot. Frankly, his mind is blown.
And his friends keep telling him to just go for it. They do have a damn good point, this is senior year, if he doesn’t go for it now, when?
And he’s so damn tired of reigning in his own feelings.
Across the pool, Max and Eleven are talking quietly.
“Do you think she’ll actually give him his shirt back today?”
“Considering she went the long way home to drop Emma off last night just to do that and still came back wearing it, I doubt it, El.” Max laughs and shakes her head, raising to a sitting position. She nudges Will and Will lowers his battered copy of The Shining to look at her. “Sunscreen, Byers.”
Will passes her the bottle of sunscreen and Max motions for Eleven to turn facing her. “You’re really starting to burn, El.”
“Yeah.” Eleven laughs softly. “We could tell him.. About the flannel.”
Will puts down the book and gazes out into the pool where Gareth Emerson is standing, with his friends. Will chuckles. “We could. I mean.. It needs to come out. And there’s nothing else to do.”
Max laughs softly. “You’re on our side of this then, huh?”
Will grins, nodding. “Mhm. I know Lucas, Mike and Dustin mentioned that it’s better to just let things happen, that it’ll be funnier, but like… Look at them, damn it.”
“Aww, you big softie.”
Will shrugs.
Eleven gives Will a little look. If he’d just apply this logic to his own situation with Mike.. She could say it, but she keeps it to herself. For the moment. But it does need to come out sooner or later and she knows it. She wants it to.
Andy and his noisy friends invade the water, splashing and yelling, roughhousing. Max flips Andy off at one point because he sends up a splash that soaks her and Andy swims over, smirking. “You got a problem, doll?”
“Yeah. You.” Max calls out, glaring when she’s splashed again. “Assholes.”
Andy and his friends go back to roughhousing elsewhere in the pool and Max turns her attention back to the current discussion at hand.
“She’s never going to give him back his flannel shirt at this rate, look at her.” Max nudges Will, who looks up from his book just in time to see you hugging into the flannel because Andy’s doing the thing where he’s lurking again and out of habit, because Andy scares the everlasting fuck out of you even if you’d die before admitting it, you’re huddling into the flannel and scowling.
Andy sends up an obnoxious splash at you and you flip him off, rolling your eyes about it. Huddled into that shirt like it’s a lifeline.
“The creep’s scaring her.” Will nods to you and El nods. “She’s scared of him, she just acts like she’s not.” and Max nods in agreement, locking eyes with you as she nods to Gareth and then the flannel you’re wearing as a cover up.
You swallow hard and take a shaky breath, gazing out where Gareth and his friends are sitting in a row along the edge of the pool. “You said you were going to give it back.” Emma points out with a soft laugh. Chrissy smiles at you, “You don’t want to, huh?”
You sigh and shake your head, cringing a little. Gulping because you know damn well that telling him now will be awkward as hell. “No, actually, I don’t. I mean… Not only for obvious reasons, but it’ll be kind of weird, I mean… I barely know him and I have and am wearing his shirt.”
“Little pervert.” Emma teases, making Chrissy laugh and shake her head. “No, it’s sweet! I always thought you were too badass to get a crush on somebody? It’s cute, though.”
“I’m a whole mess, okay?” you laugh, rolling your eyes as you palm at your face.
And across the pool, Max grumbles and throws up her hands. “I knew it! I knew she wasn’t going to give it back to Gareth! She’d better not even try to pretend she doesn’t like the guy, she’s had his damn shirt for a week now. And she slept in it last night, even! Said and to quote her words exactly, “It’s soft. It smells like him. It’s like he’s close. Stop giving me shit, Max.” ” Max’s outburst has Will laughing and Eleven snickers about it.
What Max doesn’t realize is that while she wasn’t that loud when she said it, she was loud enough that a certain drummer happened to overhear every single word. As did his three best friends, on top of it.
Gareth chokes on the sip of Dr. Pepper he’s just taken as his eyes widen almost comically and Eddie’s laughing, hitting him on the back as he muses with a smug grin, “Cat’s out of the bag now, I suppose.”
“That’s..” Gareth stammers, mind blown. Staring intently now that Max has said it, realizing that it has to be his shirt, there’s even a bleach stain on the elbow on the left sleeve. “That’s my shirt. Fuck.”
“So, in light of this little plot twist, Gareth the Great… Any clue what you’re going to do about it?” Eddie asks, chuckling as he gazes at his very shocked best friend.
Gareth is turning redder and redder in the face. He’s only barely gotten it processed that you called him Sir the day before at Starcourt -and he loved it, it gave him this sense of power when he normally feels like he has none, but now.. Oh god, now. Not only did you somehow manage to get hold of one of his shirts but you’ve been wearing it a little over a week now, right in front of him. And you apparently have a real hard time giving it back.
Giving his shirt back is honestly the last thing he wants you to do now that he’s aware of the fact that you have it. He’s staring at you intently, watching the way you fidget with the sleeves. The way it hangs on you, stopping just below the middle of your thighs. The way it’s slipping down off of one shoulder as you laugh and talk and bounce around on your feet while standing with your two best friends Emma and Chrissy.
“Fuckin hell.” he rakes his hand over his eyes and takes several long and deep breaths.
“I think he’s broken now. Yep,” Eddie chuckles, “His brain is totally scrambled.”
“Fried, man.”
“Dude, you have to do something. You have to, man.” Grant insists.
“Yeah. Alright, alright. Shit.”
Laughter and yelling from your direction has him looking over, just in time to watch you climb the ladder for the high dive, having shed the flannel. Chrissy is holding it for you, Gareth notices when she holds it up as if to reassure you that she’s holding it and it didn’t just get thrown somewhere. You give Chrissy a thumbs up as you slink out to the edge of the board and Emma yells up, “The handstand!”
“Yeah, yeah! Alright, okay, shit.” you call down to her before going into a handstand. As you right yourself and dive off of the board a few seconds later, you hit the water with a big splash and come up shaking your hair at Emma who leaps back, shrieking, “I did not ask for a shower, damn it! Hey! Knock it off, trouble, c’mon.”
You pout a little and pull yourself up onto the concrete, taking the shirt back from Chrissy to put back on. You happen to lock eyes with Andy, who winks and gives you one of his lewd stares.
“Not gonna happen, Weber, fuck right off.” you cup your hands around your mouth to call out to the brunet jock.
“Hey, did they have Sprites or are they still out?” you ask as Chrissy turns her attention to the machine, working to straighten the bill she’s trying to put in. “I think they have them this time.” she answers, slipping the dollar in.
Scowling when she spots Jason, Andy and Chance making their way over.
“I’m not talking to you, Jason. Go away.”
“Aw, princess, don’t be that way. I was just trying to look out for you. You have an image, princess.” as Jason says it, he glares at you and Emma and the two of you double over laughing. “Is he serious?”
“He looks like it, hell.” you answer, rolling your eyes as you say it.
Your laughter dies and you fix your gaze on Jason, arms folded. “What you’re gonna do now, Carver, is walk away. Chrissy needs space. She’s getting it, one way or another.” you step up. He glares down at you and chuckles. “She needs to talk to me. If I were you, I’d stay out of her business.” and this is when Emma steps up, a hand on her hip. “Y’know…you’re real stupid for somebody with a 3,8 GPA, Carver. How many times does she need to say it out of her own mouth? She doesn’t want to talk to you. And you’re not the king ruler of all.”
“You two are nothing but a bad influence.” Jason’s voice is clenched and he’s giving both of you his most stern and humorless gaze as he says it. “Chrissy knows I’m only trying to help her. You two are trying to corrupt her, I mean… You with your obnoxious behavior..” he rolls his eyes at you and Emma, “Have never taken the honor it is to be a part of something like this serious, not even for one second.”
Emma laughs and so do you. “And? Die mad about it. Do you really think it’ll matter in five years, Carver?” Emma shoves past him as she says it. Chrissy is between the two of you as the three of you walk past and find three sun loungers to flop into. Chrissy manages a smile. “Thank you.”
You and Emma shrug. “No big deal, I mean. You’re our friend.” you answer, quick to add, “And probably the sweetest person we know.”
“Caroline said she’s my friend too and then she proceeded to stay on the phone with me for three hours to explain why I needed to give Jason a chance to talk.”
“Please tell me you hung up.” Emma groans out, pinching at the bridge of her nose as she tilts her head back, squeezing her eyes against the sun. “Ugh, the bullshit alone almost makes me want to tell the coach where to shove my pom poms. And it’s gotten worse with Caroline as co-captain.”
“Unplugged the phone, actually.” Chrissy laughs softly, twisting strands around her finger. “It really has, hasn’t it? Or maybe it’s always been this bad, we just never noticed it until now.” she shrugs and sighs. “Either way, you two need to watch your backs. She’s already foaming at the mouth to find ways to get you thrown off the squad somehow.”
“Let her say one word to me. She won’t have to invent something, I’ll give her one.” you laugh when you say it, you’ve been thinking about quitting all summer and the more you think about it, the more you wonder if maybe it’s not a good idea.
You pull your hair out from beneath you to let it dangle over the back of the chair and turn so that your legs are draped over an arm. “I can’t believe we’re going into our senior year… Wow.”
“Me either.” Emma laughs. “Only a few months and we’ll be leaving this hellhole. Maybe.”
“It feels so weird, right?” Chrissy muses.
“It really does.” you admit.
Emma gazes over at you. “Y’know if you don’t do something soon, time will run out.”
You rub your forehead, your eyes squeezed shut. “I know, I knowwww. But what do I do, I mean… We’re speaking now? It’s a start?”
“Do you really want to let the chance slip through your fingers though? I mean, is that really what you want? He’s oblivious, woman. Sweet, but oblivious. We live in a new age. You can totally make the first move.”
“How?” you ask, laughing at her. “You’re the one who happens to be good at this crap, Em!”
“Just figure something out!” Emma laughs as she says it and you roll your eyes, flipping her off as you finish off your Sprite. “You say it like it’s easy, Em. Every single time I turn around, I’m doing dumb stuff. Like covering him in vomit or falling on top of him, then there’s the drowning incident I mean, I fucking froze up and he had to get me.... Or stealing his shirt, purely by accident, I swear to God you two better stop looking at me that way,” you rub your temples as you trail off, “I mean.. I’m an actual disaster at this, alright?”
“That was not an accident and you know it. You could’ve worn the sports bra, you were the only one there with his sisters, it’s not like it’s a big deal. Gretchen walks around like that all the time at home and seeing her like that as a child didn’t scar me.” Emma points out calmly. “Maybe you could ask Susan. She landed your father, duh.”
“Em, ick.” you wrinkle your nose, “I still can’t believe you have a crush on Wes.” you shake your head, laughing.
“He’s hot!”
“He’s my father, fuckin hell!” you pout at her, laughing. “I’m getting in the water, I cannot with you right now. You wanna come out, Chrissy?”
“You two go right ahead. I’m staying up here. Where it’s dry. I am not messing up my hair and making a mess out of my mascara, alright? I’m not.” Emma insists when Chrissy glances over at her.
“We’re drenching her.”
“We are.” Chrissy laughs, smiling just a little as you two fall into the pool water and pop up, sending up an obnoxious spray that drenches your friend Emma. Emma scowls, folding her arms. “Fuck you both.”
“Aw, love you too, storm cloud.” you laugh out.
“I love you significantly less, heathen.” Emma retorts, laughing as she flips you off.
As you pull yourself to a standing position, prepared to launch your body at the lounge chair, you find yourself body to body with Gareth. He swallows hard and you shuffle your feet, toying with the sleeves on a shirt you stole from him.
Your brain keeps telling you to open your mouth and just confess, because it’s honestly silly, but your mouth is frozen and the words aren’t coming.
“Hey.” you tilt your head just slightly, gazing up at him as you raise a hand and twist damp strands around your finger. You grin when you notice the pins you brought him and the Motorhead patch on the front of his flannel and before you can stop yourself, you’ve got a hand resting against his chest, your finger dragging over the stitching of the patch. “Oh hey, you got it on there after all!” you’re grinning up at him.
He is still frantically trying to process, but he does manage to step close. And then closer. And then, all the way into you so that there’s no space left between your bodies. You swallow hard, skin on fire and it’s not just from the hot afternoon sun.
He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. He’s doing it again, the thing where he dominates the space between you two entirely and you can only feel yourself burn hotter because it somehow manages to both fluster you and make you feel safe all at once. Every single time he does it. Your free hand raises, catching in messy and wet hair. It occurs to you that maybe he wants to walk past you, but for some reason you don’t step back to let him pass by.
Gareth takes a deep breath. You’re wearing his shirt and you’re pressed against him and you haven’t moved yet and it’s thrown him straight into a daze. He can feel all three of his friends staring at him intently, willing him to do something, anything at this rate would be awesome. The longer he stands there, the hotter he can feel his cheeks getting and he wants the ground to open up and swallow him. In all honesty, he came up to you with every intention of just saying it, telling you that he knows but that’s long fled his brain.
“Jesus christ, if they don’t get a room, I swear to God.” Eddie grumbles and he’s a breath away from just hollering out but Jeff gives him a silencing head shake after nudging him in the side. “He’s gotta do this himself, Munson.”
“He could do it faster, holy shit.” Eddie grumbles.
Emma’s watching you both and she nudges Chrissy. “I am so tempted to just knock into them and make them bump into each other. I swear, it’s like when we used to play dolls, y’know? Shoving their heads together so they’d kiss? That. I wanna do that right now.”
Gareth rubs a hand over his face after a second or two.
“Gareth?” you smile up at him. You’re playing with the ends of the sleeves on his flannel again and maybe it drew his attention because maybe he’s starting to realize you’re flustered right now too and he doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge.
“Yeah.” he questions, unintentionally using that tone that always flusters you and realizing it, instantly wanting to kick himself because he did not mean to sound… however it was that he sounded. The last thing he wants is for you to think he’s annoyed by you or doesn’t want you around because neither thing could be farther from the truth.
“Nothing…” you bite your bottom lip as you say it and his eyes hone in on the way your lip is caught between your teeth. You were just about to tell him, explain the whole thing and laugh it off, because it’s so silly, you taking his shirt, right?
The words get hung in your throat just like they always seem to lately.
“There’s a gig at the Hideout.. It’s uh.. Tonight..” he’s fully aware that he’s rambling and he wants to punch himself for it. He takes a deep breath, tries it again with less stammering this time. “You can come.. I mean if you want to?”
Christ, he thinks to himself, I am going to completely fuck this up.
But then you’re playing with the patch on his shirt pocket and dazed. And now that he’s fully aware of the situation in its entirety, he can see what the guys have been saying for at least three weeks now. You really are flustered by him and it’s kind of mind-blowing because of anybody he knows, you are not the girl he’d think anybody could fluster like this, especially not him.
“I could.” you answer, glancing up at him as you lick your lips, “But do you want me to?” you ask, immediately wanting to vanish on the spot because your voice came out so flirty, so much more like Em or Chrissy than you that it throws you for a loop for a little bit.
“Mhm. I really do.” he’s distracted again, the sun overhead is glinting off of that little silver necklace with the switchblade charm you’re always wearing. You catch on to his distraction and reach up, gripping his jaw gently. Guiding his face -and his eyes so that they’re fixed on yours as you giggle about it. “My eyes are up here, Gareth.”
“Shit. I’m..” he laughs quietly. “Sorry.” he’s shuffling his feet against the concrete. You shrug. “It’s okay.”
It is because he’s not Andy or Chance or one of the other boys and you know he’s not an asshole, he wasn’t intentionally staring at your tits to make you feel creeped out or anything.
“Is that a switchblade? On your necklace?” he wants to punch himself when he asks the question but you laugh quietly and nod. “Yeah.. Wes, he went on a trip and saw it, and presented it to me as a 16th birthday thing? It’s actually kind of stabby too.” you’re the one rambling now and your words trail off as you wait patiently on the concrete to open below your feet and Satan himself to pull you down to Hell.
“Cool.” Gareth laughs quietly.
“So uh.. Your show? What time is it?” you ask, shifting around, fidgeting under his intent gaze. Burning up all over again the second you realize that his eyes are roaming and there’s this wild gleam to them and it’s hot, you’re definitely into it. He smiles, drags his hand over thick, wet curls. “It starts at 9. You’ll have to tell the guy at the door you’re there for it.”
You laugh softly. “Doubtful. The bartender, she uh.. Used to babysit me when they had pool tournaments there on the weekend. She’ll let me in.”
Gareth grins a little brighter. “Awesome.”
And you keep trying to make yourself just do it, just give him back his flannel, but then he’s walking back over to his friends, walking away and you didn’t do it, yet again.
“Fuck.” you fan yourself as you fall back into the lounge chair. “Nobody speak to me for like.. At least an hour, I need to uh… Yeah.” your dazed words make Chrissy and Emma clutch each other and laugh as Emma asks, “What’d he say? Woman you are.. So flustered right now.”
“Fuck off, Em!” you laugh out, pouting at her as you look over to the chair she’s sitting in. “I uh… He asked me if I wanted to come and watch their band play tonight.”
“Well?”
“I’m going!”
“And the flannel?”
“I,uh…” you palm your face and laugh. “I tried, okay? I did try.”
“Mhm. Tell that to somebody who believes you, you perverted little heathen.”
#gareth emerson#gareth the great#gareth emerson imagine#gareth emerson fanfiction#gareth emerson x reader#gareth emerson x fem!reader#// so uh... we have kind of arrived at..something#// hopefully you guys like this. i loved writing it out#// im excite for the future parts tbh
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more for this nico-dealing-after-blood-of-olympus fic:
it's just like his brain is somehow - offline. Not willing to help him string up the words to this sentence that's sitting on his tongue. The disrespect.
He's still got to power through, though, and now he's just been standing here at the table for a good ten seconds without saying anything, gods, Will must feel so awkward trying to politely ignore Nico standing behind him. What to say, what to say, need to provide a functional human first(-ish) impression on the conversation -
Will bends his head further over the book he's reading, which seems to have a diagram on it. He shifts his neck to look at it from another angle, just enough for Nico to see the page's title: "Cross-sections of the Circulatory System".
Oh, so - a biology textbook. Cool, cool, that makes sense, since Will's the head camp medic, so maybe -
Before he can stop himself, he blurts out - "The, uh, the medulla oblongata controls parasympathetic ventilation, like, coughing and sneezing and stuff." Or - is that even correct? Damn, what if Will's going to make fun of him for getting it wrong, maybe he should try another one -
"..The pancreas secretes sodium bicarbonate, lipase, protease, and amylase into the small intestine to help with digestion." There, that works for a conversation starter. Will should definitely know about that since he lectured Nico about his starch intake last week in the infirmary.
("I don't care if they're all carbs, di Angelo, at this point you just need to eat, I don't give a pegasus' ass whether it's all carbs and fats -" - which, whatever. )
It takes him a moment to realise Will hasn't said anything back. In fact, he's barely even moved, only enough to squint at his textbook from a new angle. Clearly the most self-aware guy in the room, this guy.
He tries again. Can't have people calling him un-persistent, or whatever.
"So, the, lumen of the vein is larger than the artery, right? Since they have thinner walls?" Oh, curse me. His own insults to that zoom around his brain like a sledgehammer on nectar. And for all his embarrassment, what does he get? Nothing. Solace is still sitting, thumbing through the pages like he hasn't heard anything.
So much for Reyna making his promise to try having friends, and so much for Solace dumping out on him for pushing people away. If he's going to ignore him, and not even tell him why like - like someone who'd promised to be honest with him, then he can just catch up with his textbook in private and not have to deal with Nico's awkward conversation starters or help in the infirmary again.
Fuck it. He stomps away, shaking out his fringe and angrily pressing his thumb into the indent of his initials in his sword's hilt.
No need to let anyone think the Fates are playing favourites, because clearly Nico's in a league of his own with them. Even better, they must love him so much, because right at that moment, when he's suddenly, too irrationally angry to think about where he's going, he trips over a side table and goes careening headfirst into the shelf by the window.
Ah, merde.
"Hey, are you al- wait, Nico? What are you doing here, man? You okay?"
...And of course that's what finally makes Solace wake up from his biology-induced lotus casino haze.
As Solace bounds over, ostensibly to do his whole why-aren't-you-taking-care-of-yourself-better-nico-listen-to-me-I'm-a-doctor-so-I-know-best-and-you-don't routine, Nico resists the urge to melt into the wall, literally. Why did he tell Reyna he'd try making friends? Look where it gets him. Why, of all people, did he have to say he'd try hanging out with Solace of all people when Reyna demanded he give her some actual names to back up his promises?
- ..stupidi ragazzi carini con i loro stupidi sorrisi e le loro stupide lamentele e la loro mancanza di consapevolezza spaziale perché los tre Moirai sono così per me, mamma? perché, dei, perché....
Solace hauls him up halfway into his arms and starts asking him random questions, like:
"What's your name?" Rude, didn't he just call Nico from across the room?
"Okay, okay, cool, I deserved that one, can you tell me what day it is?" How is Nico supposed to answer that. He barely knows what day it is on a good day, he just follows camp schedule through osmosis most of the time, asking random campers what the strategies for the next capture the flag game are to get a gauge on how far away it is -
"Shit, c'mon man, help me out here, what were you looking for in the library anyway? I didn't know you were the reading type - " Which, again, rude? Does Nico not look like the reading type? Is it the black and silver? Does he not look smart enough or something? Hazel's a literal whiz, and Solace knows that, so it can't be a Hades thing.
"Come on, Nico, talk to me. You know why you came to the library, right? Can you at least tell me that?"
To talk to you, dumbass! Because you're ignoring me! Like I'm only worth your time when I'm a patient!
But it's not like he can just say that, because that would be weird. Joy of joys, Solace is getting even closer now, what the hell is going on?
"Uh - listen, don't freak out, maybe I'm freaking out, it's okay, stay calm, I'm calm, I literally do this every day, uh, can you just look straight at me, di Angelo? Need to get a good look at your eyes, figure out how bad we're dealin' here -" and he starts leaning in even closer what the literal fuck -
Is this Nico's punishment for insulting the Fates? Because, damn.
Also, because Nico's brain loves him, it abandons him once more in his time of need, forcing him to let out the weirdest squeak he's absolutely going to deny he ever made. He feels his cheeks warm, and jerks an inch away in a weird full-body shake like Frank sometimes does after returning to his human form.
Gods, what a nightmare. He lifts his hands up to cover his burning face and discreetly look for the nearest shadow when he notices Solace's ashen face, freezing.
Before he can get a real, human word out, Solace is suddenly stepping forward and cradling the back of Nico's head in a ridiculously warm hand while the other cards through his hair.
What the fuck. What the absolute fuck. He would say it feels like his soul is leaving his body if he didn't already know exactly how that felt. His eyes go wide as he wheezes, trying to stammer out a demand for Solace to fucking explain himself, taking liberties with his person -
Solace steps back, clearly confused. "No huge bumps, alright.. maybe shock?" His eyes widen again, as if he's just now noticing the state he's left Nico in.
"Shit, shit, it looks like shock, dilated pupils, difficulty breathing, hold on, di Angelo, let's get you to the infirmary - " Uh, absolutely not? 'Di Angelo' has had enough of the infirmary for a lifetime, grazie mille, Dr. Solace. There isn't even anything wrong with him this time! He's not the one asking weird questions and doing weird things this time.
Without any further thought, he turns around and starts fighting his way out of Solace's grip. If his favourite doctor's shocked cursing is anything to go by, it's the first time a patient's actively tried to escape his tender mercies.
Scratch that. Solace's arms tighten around his waist and the ensuing scuffle makes it clear this is not his first time. Shit, Nico might actually lose this one.
"Sunoffa- Nico! I'm trying to help, calm down!" Like hell you are, Solace. Let me the fuck go (so I can run away and wallow with the nymphs) and maybe then we'll talk.
He redoubles his efforts while pivoting to avoid the lamp on the table next to them.
"You fucking menace," Solace hisses, and if that hidden loss of cool makes Nico grin, well, what's a skull scarf for. Not every day you get to make Sir Doctor Extraordinaire stop being all sunshiney for a day.
Solace finally growls and stops fighting him. "Alright, you win! Hey, can't you stop aggravating your injuries for once?" Which. Wait, what injury? Nico's in perfect health!
"- and like, wartime's one thing, normal camp is another. Do you seriously not respect your body at all? Come on, you haven't even argued it! D'you seriously hate the infirmary that much? Are we a joke to you? You haven't even said anything since you hit your head and - " Nico lets the rest of Will's rant fly over him as he stills, and his mind goes, oh. Oh, this is hilarious. Okay, well, all he's gotta do to correct Will's little misconception is to say something then, right?
He opens up his mouth to cut Will off when he lands on his burning blue eyes and realises, belatedly, that Will's warm arms are still ever-so-gently and firmly cradling his waist, curling around the coarse fabric of his Camp Half-Blood tee.
As his brain goes offline for the the third and hopefully final time, Nico bemoans his existence and prepares himself to blurt out:
"The kidneys are where erythrocytes go to die."
Oh, Dei miei. That's not even right. "Well, no, I mean, the kidneys are where erythropoietin is produced, when the medulla oblongata detects a lack of oxygen in the body, which stimulates the growth of more red blood cells in the bone marrow..."
At least Will's shut up now, which is great. Nico can already feel the headache brewing from his ranting. Instead of backing off, however, Will absentmindedly adjusts his grip on Nico's waist and cocks his head to the side.
"...Did you come to the library to ask me to help you with your biology homework? Because, and I really mean no offense, buddy, but I kinda thought you were a year-round camper. Where'd you find the time to study AP Bio?"
Nico gives up and melts to the floor, ignoring Will's cries to groan and repeatedly thunk his head into the thankfully carpeted floor. This is how Nico dies. He prays for his father to open up the ground and bring him down to the palace for a visit. Will's still struggling to pull him up off the floor (if he's going to chase after him, he can deal with having to catch him, damnit), but only one thought is playing through Nico's mind.
Oh, I'm never going to live this one down, am I?
same fic different scene 0 - prologue-ish
#why is writing so hard#I did not expect to struggle so hard w this scene when I watched it in my head for hours#nico di angelo#riordanverse#pjo fic#worldbuilding my beloved#toying with a chb fic about nico and grief and what three days in the infirmary actually looks like#plus my healthy nico agenda and a healthy dose of solangelo obv#tbh I really don't like this scene hopefully it'll smooth out by the time I'm doing a rewrite#will solace#feel free to correct me with the italian it's literally all g translate and a bunch of dictionary work#nico honey hE'S TRYING TO DO A CONCUSSION CHECK ON YOU#STAY STILL YOU WORM#ayo not me bringing the italicised oh in so quickly#writing process#would y'all help me choose a fic title if I asked?#wow why is this so long#when the characters start doing their own thing and you're just along for the ride#nico is THE drama king#nico WOULD be the type to wear a fedora/beanie and a skull scarf#and hair ties after his hair grows out#skinny jeans & band tees & combat boots & converse and a literal sword + chains getup with a literal skull motif baked in#You Cannot Change My Mind#hoodie kid but also bomber jacket guy#you know it#they're teenagers your honour#Let Them Be Dumb#nico you utter menace I love you#will you oblivious powerhouse you're the best#nico di angelo trying to make friends
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|| Remember how I would say that Vaggie's part of "Whatever It Takes" perfectly represents Neth's views of her sister and wanting to protect her?
I realized Carmilla's part is perfect for her mom.
Shit runs in the family ig....
#(A HUNDRED YEARS APART BUT STILL XDD)#(this is really funny bc n.eth is so much like v.aggie too...and her mom is so much like c.armilla...)#(THIS DIDNT MEAN TO HAPPEN!! it just hit me recently and i love it XDD)#(ughhhh i wish her mom wasnt deaddddd i'd love to develop her more T^T)#(anyways hi guys i've been mostly afk today working on homework XDD)#(BUT HOPEFULLY I'LL FINISH THIS WEEK'S STUFF TODAY!!)#(and can be online all day tomorrow and Friday!!!)#◢||⋇ why do you write like you’re running out of time? [ooc] ⋇||◣
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Magdalene doodle from @un-local ‘s fic! Go check it out if you have the time
a bonus one of her drinking coffee with a mug that says "I survived Liurnia" (not that intelligible in the drawing oops)
#gh… posting art…#can you hear my teeth gritting from the screen#if you guys love rogier (like me) u should absolutely go check it#the author writes everyone super duper awsome#the dynamics in the fic are top tier#my favorites have got to be...#oky i was writing it down but then i realized i wrote down all oops#i absolutely love magdalene here too (the tarnished here)#STR BUILDS RISE!!!!1#actually i was gonna have a couple more but they turned out a little too. different.#hopefully i can make something more serious other than doodles for this doe#still in art block sadly#if the author sees this um.. hi...#ok ill shut up in tags sorry for the ramble guys :0P#elden ring#tarnished#my art#doodles#swrd#envelope doodles#envelop art
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The most I've wrote of Reticent in the past couple of days is some Mikey and Raph banter I wrote whilst at the cinema which I only stopped writing cause some kids around my age sat behind me and I got scared
Being a writer is so great!!!!
#this chapter is only 5 scenes so it shouldnt be taking this long#the first scene was pretty long though#and the last scene is also gonna be STUPID long#so dont let the short scene count fool you thisll definetly be longer than chapter 3#but goddamn this chapter is FIGHTING with me#the worst part is ive been excited to write this chapter for like four months now#but i guess the build up might be whats making this difficult to write dhdjdbkd#hopefully itll be out by the end of the month cause i really wanna finish it before i go back to school#cause Year 11 is gonna destroy any time i have#i love doing two musicals and a winter concert and studying for my next set of mock exams after just finishing my last set#year 11 is gonna be so fun you guys#the only reason im waiting till i finish high school to get a job is cuz year 11 is gonna be insane#im gonna be working towards my musical theatre grade 8 too omfg#im gonna eep before i have a crisis cause i dont have to worry about this for another 2 weeks#night Raisinsssss 💖💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶🫶
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your wrist was hurting sorry man I know how drawing and presumably college work does that get well soon ❤️🩹
LMAO NAW ITS FINE for one thing my hurt wrist is my non-writing/drawing hand so i can still draw/write/use utensils, drawing's just a lot slower without my hotkeys so i figure this is a sign i should take a proper break and rest up. plus i hurt my wrist rollerskating so dont worry i didnt sprain anything from drawing too much
#snap chats#genuinely surprising ive not seriously hurt my left wrist from drawing#i mean- some years back my wrist did really hurt for a few days but i dont think it was as bad of a strain as this#i take real good care of my left wrist since then anyhow so im not worried about getting another drawing-induced injury#like i said last ask tho my wrist feels a lil better compared to yesterday so hopefully i can get back to it soon#got plenty of things i wanna doodle and write and while i can write with one hand... this is a nightmare LMAO#'snap i thought you were sleeping' uhhhhh Oops <3 i started playing y7 again but before i did i was watching a vid#and now im watching it agan so.. lol#so funny while i was playing tho my sis walked in and started watchin and crackin jokes#shes so funny... SO FUNNY she saw sawashiro and was like 'wow he looks like a real guy'#to which Of Course i was like 'oh yeah its cause hes modeled after a real guy :)' an she was like OOOOHHHH ok#and then she saw arakawa and was like 'see he doesnt look real' and then i had to be like 'bro hes Also based off a real guy' LMAO#yeah... super silly.... i always love playin games when shes around even if shes never SUPER invested#i appreciate that she still watches an can still be funny. goofy as hell she was like 'these cutscenes are so long--#didnt uou play this game last summer ??? how many times have you played this' and i was just Uuuuhhh Seven :)#LMAO HER FACE but she was all 'awww :)' when i tol her i was letting the cutscenes play out so she could watch#ok im done rambling i just said typing like this is a nightmare and it is so im stopping now BYE
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((It makes me sad that (especially coming from Roui) the severity of Kariom's duty is greatly diminished in both severity and importance. He's not just a star-reader he was chosen by the King to decipher them for all Tsourai. When he calls himself a savior it isn't entirely out of pride or hubris; he's telling the truth. It's a duty that can (and will, and has) potentially destroy him, even kill him, but one that he can't back down from or falter in because if Kariom makes a mistake?? Even one??? It's, to his understanding, completely over and he wouldn't be able to handle it. He cannot disappoint them, nor can he abandon them, and to fail in the slightest would be doing just that. It would be detrimental to the people that he loves and that, to say nothing of wider consequences, is unfathomable.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#I emphasize the stress and pressure that this man is under in my writing because it's fucking true#it's one of ways the strength of his character and conviction shines through (evej if he's generally haughty about expressing those things)#he cannot give up and moreover REFUSES to; no matter how hurt; frightened; or confused he is and that takes real passion#I've said before that his obsession re; his duty is equal parts virtue and vice and that's always going to be the case#but I'm also sure that with the right support he'll find the space that he needs; not only to move in but to breathe in#because listen? this man isn't breathing; not in the full emotional sense and he needs that#the duality of this man is such a deep thing you guys; it really fuckin is#hopefully that comes across in my shit; i truly hope so because I've put so much thought behind it all (and again I barely have anything)#he's not perfect about it obviously (as I've said and written before)#but the heart behind what he does? that cannot and should not be ignored or diminished#and his flaws are just as compelling as his strengths and without those his growth and mindset wouldn't be as clear#he's very much a kid sometimes; just like Roui he was forced to grow up almost instantly so ofc he's stunted in places#but I feel that both of them will come to terms with that and each other and be ok#..... and in love.... like admit out loud in love lol#;;ooc: commentary (kariom)
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I think you mistakenly tagged that Disco Elysium fanart as uncaptioned/undescribed?
Helllo!!! Yes I have, tysm for telling me! I fixed the tags now
#fandom related#disco elysium#aaahh it happems that i occiasionally tag things wrong#i try my best to tag everything so it can be easily found if searched for or blacklisted if needed#i also intend to go through my undescribed/uncaptioned tags one day to see if the images have been described since i put them into my queue#or add an id by myself#also i misspelled happens and occasionally. anyway#i hope you guys have a lovely weekend#i feel so good ever since i found out this week that i have a chronic illness#like. all the struggle all the exhaustion was never my fault at all and there actually /is/ smth wrong w me#all along i've never been not good enough. ive just been undiagnosed. and now im taking medication which will hopefully improve things#the weather is rly nice here today. im writing applications and wachting ted lasso s3#later today we'll go groceries shopping#it's a good day :D
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ok so ! i was very pleasantly surprised, the first volume was actually quite enjoyable! the mc customisation looks sooo much better this season, you can make a gorgeous mc!
#i was actually super wrong with my theory! and thats why i never theorise about anything. but its fine#the twin reveal made me giggle a little ngl. maybe its the way they revealed it but i found it funny#it is quite unfortunate that there seems to be no variation in between routes so no matter who you pick they tell you the exact same things#but thats not really surprising. theyve been doing that for years now#i like everyone! except jamal. he's hot and cool but i don't think he's my type tbh#but everyone else is. i'm so in love with grace please let her be bi (i know she probably isn't :-/)#also ivy is soooo cute too. a lil bit annoying but like i said. she's very cute so she gets a pass#and bella ofc she's so hot i love her style#anyways. i ended up picking lewie he's the most *my type* out of everyone. i like cute guys#i got the ick a bit after i saw amelia kissed him on the cheek so idk how to proceed#so yeah. hopefully the next volumes keep it up because this season has a lot of potential so far#not getting my expectations super high of course but. i really like what i've seen so far#the cast is fun. mc is gorg. amelia seems fun too. and the writing seems better than last season#litg#cami.txt
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wait you got me so invested in the stammer & heddy tailor au....
this is my standard disclaimer that i have never posted a fic on ao3* and for however much i say “au” i truly mean that it’s a universe that lives in my head & i am absolutely delighted to tell you all about, all the time <3 if it helps i ALSO got me so invested in the heddy & stammer tailor au
ok now that the author’s note is out of the way here’s some notes about the not!fic heddy & stammer tailor au:
stammer as the tailor from gent’s playbook, very reserved, quiet, with an excellent eye for details (honestly the evidence i have for his style sense is just that he’s best friends with pk subban so it has to be there somewhere if only by proxy irl) is hired by victor hedman, star of the tampa bay lightning who is every other tailor’s nightmare to dress (huge, opinionated, fashionable)
heddy is decently well-known throughout the league for being very well-dressed & becomes quietly well known for also being one of his new tailor’s favorite loyal customers [heddy has the nicest fabrics. he has his suits the first day a new collection drops & e v e r y o n e is jealous]
stammer’s business booms after heddy takes a chance on him as his first big client & promotes him, heddy sees him grow in popularity & get more clients
heddy also moonlights as a model for stammer’s suits on instagram, initially to help him grow his business because then he won’t have to pay for a model and then because he’s over there all the time anyway because they’re dating (that’s why the model’s face is never in the pictures)
there’s not really a plot to this besides the vague idea of a plot where stammer makes heddy his lucky suit that he wins the cup in & sews a special little tag into the lining of his jacket that says i love you
because love sometimes is picking out the perfect right color pocket square to match your husband’s beautiful suit that you fitted like a kiss to the curves of his huge body
& also sometimes love is making your beautiful husband who makes you beautiful clothing enjoy nice things for himself once in a while, like the fancy watch you bought him or the nice suit you custom-ordered for him (from him) just so you could take it off of him
#*i did very much post a zine on ao3 that was part of a really fun exchange that i loved doing (thank you leah for organizing!!!)#& had a fantastic time with however i have not strictly speaking posted a fic. one day i will. eventually. hopefully. pray for me :)#also one time my horoscope told me i was a ‘neutral projector’ & i’ve never felt more called out (‘loves making up things’/‘will not#actually write or plot but will explain every intricate detail of their world & character relationships’/‘hype up every member of the#writing chat & give good advice but never follow it’) like HI CAN U NOT DO THIS TO ME HOROSCOPE THANKS i was read to FILTH#liv in the replies#i do LOOOOOVE me a good one of them plays hockey the other one does not au sometimes they’re so fun to explore dynamics outside/inside sport#at the time i came up with this stammer was out on IR & heddy kept showing up to the playoffs in ridiculously nice suits what was i to do??#the gent’s playbook tailor will sometimes model his own suits w/o showing his own face which made it look like he had a secret model come in#heddy canonically says his suits make him feel better when he plays esp during playoffs & if he wins in a suit he’ll keep wearing it#oh also the truth of the love is in the pocket square bit? angela price i will never forget. anyway that blue suit i posted in the last ask#with the perfect pink pocket square? that pocket square is a pair of stammer’s boxers heddy took To Me. in my brain#me about the beautiful clothing: this is like daisy crying in gatsby’s silk shirts except it’s baby alpaca fur & also it’s not sad#it’s simply decadent & the inherent intimacy of a fitting mapping the body yada yada yada knowing the ways to flatter someone is a form#of loving them etc etc. love is art love is food love is given love is stored in the custom three-piece suit and tie#is this an enemies to lovers? workplace drama? is the secret plot i only just now invented & added that heddy is ‘difficult to work with’#but it’s just because he wants to look good & in the words of his own (real) tailor the hardest guy to fit because he’s so big? OHHH HOLD IT#I GOT THE PLOT IN THE TAGS Y’ALL AND IT’S STAMMER TEACHING HEDDY TO LOVE HIS BODY heddy who’s been told what to/not wear & you know.#the commodification of the body in hockey (but we’re not getting that deep) but stammer with a mouth full of pins tightening heddy’s pant#leg down even further as he listens to what heddy wants for once & lets him pick fabrics (this is the daisy shirt moment but it’s heddy#looking at fabric swatches dozens of books of them stammer helps him pick out matching linings &outsides &squares) & stammer compliments him#& they’re in love & idk NEARLY enough abt fashion but there r like codes? messages? to wearing suits i think w/the etiquette so that too#should this have also gone under a readmore? yeah probably. whoops#victor hedman#steven stamkos#tampa bay lightning
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