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strawberrrier · 2 months

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😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 miss na miss na kita, mahal

young love

It's adorably sickening how endearing he is.

It makes your heart ache when you try to hide your smile. Not of anything bad, really, but rather the opposite. Because there lies your truth beneath your smile in reasons of him. The truth he's yet to know.

The truth he's undeniably cute in oblivious of.

He is such a loser.

A damn loser who has your heart skipping its beat when you walk through the school gates. A damn loser that makes you soar inside as you see him for the first time in the day. A damn loser who you loudly cheer for in the bleachers to each game, win or lose, your heart screams for him.

If your noise for him isn't enough to be heard, you could only hope your silence could be.

Nevertheless, you don't take it upon him.

One of the smartest people you know and still could be the dumbest. Always adorably so. Irritating, however—he's cute.

"What?" He asks, his eyebrows raising, along with that damn smirk of his.

Breaking you out of your daze. The two of you sitting across from each other. You've lost yourself while he was talking about his volleyball activities that you yourself asked of.

You only look at him, not saying anything for a moment but just stare, your smile evident. "What?" He laughs. It's a knowing look of yours, that he can tell, but he doesn't know.

You clicked your tongue, "Nothing." You shrugged, your little, calm smile stays nonetheless.

"Seriously." He pressed, playfully so despite that he really wants to know.

Your lips turns up more as you look down on your lap. Whether he's still as clueless or he's beginning to know the littlest of it—you couldn't care less at the moment.

Softly huffing out a little laugh to yourself as you look at him then again, "Nothing," you utter again, tutting your head lightly. Your bright smile turns calm and little again, but one could not miss how fonder it became.

He doesn't.

It's a wonder how you could held his gaze with him not breaking it, all while his grinning eyes remains. "I just....." You trail off, your voice turning mellow. "Adore you."

Tetsu breathes a little laugh. He nods as he looks down for a second, his ever teasing grin melting to a smile he rarely has. He looks up but to the side, his smile stays and it gets wider.

Before he looks back at you again. And there you figure, that finally—"I know."

💌🖋️: i miss him. that's it. very high school happy crush inspired

#tetsu 🤬💘#tetsu my love💌#☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#ayoko naaaaaaaaaaa #nauulol si tanga💫💞

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strawberrrier · 2 months

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Let There Be Light | Miya Atsumu

Bliss. Fear. Adrenaline. They know all too well to be frozen in time as the past and what could be rapidly hit them in one strike. A moment of truth whenever in the court.

In the normalcy they're in, an admission of one's heart spoken at last; it hits them all too harsh from the tenderness of it—life passes by so suddenly when we don't look.

"There is a friend of mine. I love him so, even more than romance it's how I feel my love for him, it continues to grow still, endless stems creeps inside me, flowers that blooms so big and colorful, leaves growing everywhere, it's how I feel it. If only I could take out these flowers in me, he'd have countless bouquets. I know of his flaws, of what makes him he, what makes me find him unbearable and yet, I think much of him. But there are parts of him that I have yet to see, and when I do . . . it's myself that I fear, for I know that if fate will bring upon its pain, no stem will break, no flowers will wither, no leaves will fall, I fear it will only continue to grow." loveiiirene, 2021

1.8k words. purely platonic. a shameless self-insert. i hold this too dear to me. inspired by my own, and because i've been seeing atsumu far too lovely these days.

x reader tags are only there solely for engagement reasons :D forgive me for that 🙇🏽‍♀️🫶🏼😁🥹🫂

never too late to have this as for my valentines treat to you guys 💌

a last note, i intentionally limited writing atsumu's thoughts🫂❤️‍🩹

The cold air of January is always comforting; be it the strong breeze from the trees with the bright skies, the snow a beautiful veil despite it's flaws that comes with it—but much more in the nights, the remnants of the holiday still lingering in its wake. It's not fun breathing through your nose as you walk in the cold night with so much struggle, but the beauty of it all could make up for it, one could suppose. What are you even saying anyways?

You were just too thrilled to see your friends again after awhile of being normally busy with the chores of life. Most especially when this set of your friends are mostly an athlete.

Meeting the front of the restaurant you hold dear, it's reminiscing each time. Blurry lights in a photograph, smudged edges. It's home.

It's too much for your heart the second you stepped in the place, that ever familiar noise of theirs, the sight even more. It's been too long but nothing much has changed, it seems. Seeing Osamu and Shinsuke conversing with each other. Then there's Rintarou, Aran, Hinata, Bokuto, Sakusa, and of course--Atsumu.

His noise a music to your heart, making it all more....hurtful.

But a voice pulls you out of it before you could dive deep. A call of your name by Osamu and you immediately beam as he walks out of his counter. "Samu." You muttered so loudly yet soft, nearing to each other and he welcomes your hug always willingly.

"Hi." Osamu greets with a little laugh, taking more of your embrace, letting you fall against him more.

"I've missed you. Too much." You say deeply, face still buried on his neck.

"I know." He says back simply. "It's really been too long." He murmurs, squeezing you once on him before you part from one another a little. Your feet tipped a little to reach him and let your lips pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, making him smile. You barely changed as well. Still as kind and radiating of light, that he knows you always hope to be. Osamu wonders just how much your heart has even grown with the missing presence of his brother. He's anticipating it's gonna be a heavy night for you, and he hopes for his twin will be as well.

It has been too long.

None of them missed the sight of you both reuniting. It takes the Inarizaki boys back to highschool, you being one of their managers that started your bond with them.

With Shinsuke greeting you as well, of course you hug him, too--as the rest of them remains in their table still conversing amongst themselves, with their eyes flying to your direction inevitably, seconds to seconds between that moment.

It's always in the air, wanting to be seen, it has always been, but just there. Too busy to be graced or just.....it's just left there.

But now at last, it's you who's there. You could only hope the same thing wouldn't happen to you. When you've been blessed by a chance. After having long for it so long for you to have the will to accept it.

When you and Shinsuke were done, you finally let your eyes go directly to them, seeing their knowing gazes they don't bother to hide and with their little smiles—and seeing his own; barely smiling.

Your feet almost moved to move towards them and just throw yourself to hug him. But you didn't. Embarrassment crawling in you knowing they all saw through that.

There was a time when you didn't—when you never hesitated to jump in for his embrace. Never a time when you didn't relish each one. A time when he welcomed you with open arms. A time when you both couldn't shut up when together.

And there now you only sit at a distance from them. The toll of your kept strain beginning to loom behind you. It's been too long. Seeing him again had held your heart too much of happiness that it pained it.

Sitting besides Kita and in front of Osamu, a bare shield for the meantime as you wish there's an inevitability of light in the cage you yourself keep in.

Where did the time go?

It could and does happen to anyone, time separating one from another. Once I thought the future with him. I think the world of him still. Not once I thought that it'll be fleeting, to fade away slowly, to hurt me rapidly. I was too deep in each moment when I was with them, there with him.

Blissfully ignorant of the unknown paths that coud lead to an end.

I should have seen it coming, I know, that much I realized. Because before then, beneath in me, I felt an outsider despite I was welcomed.

Walls too rocky to be climbed.

It wasn't a surprise anymore when the distance did part us, few specific and common barriers to have him drift away.

And I was left there, staring at a burning haven, powerless to save it. His absence a raging fire and I then dared try to at least salvage what I can but the water just drowned me.

Memories of what once was too beautiful.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Because that's what happened to me. Fonder and fonder as I let my own to linger in the past I allowed myself to delve too deep.

Loneliness. What a foolish tragedy I pierced upon me.

Yet how could I blame myself too much?.

That damn idiot wiped my tears away. He listened to me no matter how many times I needed it. He annoyed me so much.

He was my friend. He'll always be to me.

I hope I am to him still.

It's defeaning to sit here as I take in their noise, waiting for something. Anything.

Never have they heard such silence so loud.

To say that it was disheartening and amusing Osamu would be an understatement.

He supposes it's time again to step in like he did just before, how he always invited you, always wanted you to go.

But of course, you don't. You couldn't. How could you? Yet with time, once enough is enough, we need to pick ourselves up.

Still, even with gathered strength and composure, you could have never been prepared to see him again. Gone in the merest second.

Am I gonna complain and be a bitch about it inside? Absolutely.

But I'm gonna bear it like I always have been.

To sit there so at ease as you catch up with both your friends, your insides wrenching more and more. The alcohol always nothing but an enabler to all our pain.

How much more could you bear before you finally break?

A question that echoes in the minds of them and well....you.

Prayers being heard not longer too soon. There comes the man of the night to go sit besides Shinsuke. You never felt more lonely with him so close to you again. Everything threatens to mute and erase around you, but you forced yourself to hear his words, listen and understand what he's saying. Comprehend that he didn't greet you, nor acknowledge your presence.

Bear it once again as you want to at last break.

"I'm sure it's a very serious matter to you, Atsumu." Shinsuke spoke, the bluntness of the former captain everyone are so fond of almost made you laugh.

"It is serious!" Atsumu remarked, despite not looking, you could see him pouting. How is it still possible you could still feel your heart tugging amidst its never ending of hurt; wishing to see that adorable look that pissed you off so much whenever before.

It's adorable, really. The ever proud setter rambling about his crush, not like there's anything new about it. But he argues that this time his infatuation is more serious than his previous ones, the only problem is he was rejected before he could even make a move to start somewhere.

A time when you were one of the ones he rambled to about his crushes.

"Maybe he just doesn't like you." Osamu said simply to his twin, spite always to spite him.

It's just so familiar. You deem it so a miracle you're with them again, to hear them bicker and all. It takes a lot to keep yourself from tears pooling in your eyes.

Atsumu is in the middle of his yapping to defend himself and still bickering with Osamu. Then you don't miss the second Osamu's eyes darting to Shinsuke, the said man doesn't as well, as a second later he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. You curse quietly to yourself, it seems that the younger twin did his grace now.

You wish to blame it on the alcohol but one could never could, can we?

It's only you when you at last spoke.

"You're so loved, Atsumu." There you go. You might as well see through to it finally and give you whatever peace it could reach you. "You're so loved."

Suddenly it was quiet, your words lingering. He's now looking at you. There's not enough in you to see him right now. Time is moving while everyone is not.

Osamu remains standing there behind his counter with his back now turned around, a gentle yet somehow still having that smugness in his loving smile.

About time his twin finally shut his damn mouth.

So much for not needing memories, to never one to look back and ghost around in the past. They never forget anything. Atsumu never forgets a single remnant, be it so insignificant to him.

Each scene in his mind, you're there. You were always there. Always there for him. You who always called for his attention to listen to the teacher when he's not listening. You who gave the notes to Osamu. You who always gave him a piece of your food. You who always screamed at the top of your lungs in their games. You who never failed to ease Shinsuke's workload because of the volleyball team.

There for them. For him. There for them. For him. There for them.

For him. For him. For him. For him.

And suddenly everyone's mind is reeling of moments of their bonds with one another. It's one of the wonders of sports. You're in one moment and suddenly you're not as you take yourself everywhere. A glimpse of time.

While you're still there. You want to flee. You want to hold him. You want to die. You want to live--you finally look at him. Your chin on your knuckles. After so long, you see him again so clearly, it's unreal after he haunted you many times in your dreams. Those brown eyes of his, his long eyelashes and thick eyebrows, the freckles across from one cheek to the other.

Time remains unmoving as you stare at each other. You don't know what he's thinking, there's so much softness in his gaze, a melancholic awe, a saddened disbelief of realization. Tears fell from your eyes as you blink. "I missed you." Barely a breath of your voice against the crisp silence. "I miss you." You managed to utter.

After saying those words for so many times to everyone and anything but him, after finally finding the will to say it to him.

You just break.

And if you missed a day, there was always the next,

and if you missed a year, it didn’t matter,

the hills weren’t going anywhere,

the thyme and rosemary kept coming back,

the sun kept rising, the bushes kept bearing fruit—

Sunrise, Louise Gluck

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strawberrrier · 2 months

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I know what I want this Valentines❤️

P.S: Sorry for this disgusting drawing :’)

#so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute #mha #my man my man my man #💘💘💘

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strawberrrier · 2 months

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heavy on this these days

Wade The Gallows

December 14. I was going through a lot this day and I had the beginning written down almost immediately. So, bear with me. Two cups of tall coffees for this, damn 🏃🏽‍♀️

800 words. angst. mentions of suicide. all my y/n are fat and of color.

passage above is from Morgan Matson's Amy and Roger's Epic Detour

mdni banner by @cafekitsune

"Hey." The softest of word one could merely utter gently to me and I'd be on my knees. A tug at my heart. I always believed that word is so gentle, well, mostly because I think it's a call for attention, but out of benignity. To pull you out of whatever you may be in but tenderly.

Whenever he says it, I melt. The word alone and from the man I let wield the power over me. I'm nothing. A breath of fresh air to me the second I feel I'm not of this world. That I live when I don't exist for a moment as I'm in his hold.

Such a word.

And the second he utters it twice, finally takes me back to present. The heaviness of his presence surrounds me. I wish it could always blanket me. Forever wash away what bites my being. Yet all is fleeting.

All the more reason for me to feel the shudder that crawls through my skin as his breath blows behind me, with his hands holding me close. To cherish the comfort of his concern through knowing silence before all is said.

"Speak to me." He says. Any other time, I would have been in his grasp to easily command, but of course--this is different. Still and always, with his hold on me, is what grounds me. "Please."

How could I have ever been so lucky?

How did it come to this anyways.

Suppose I have been too far in my head that I hadn't seen him seeing me, even as I stitch myself presentably, he can see all the threads behind in such a tangled and unfathomable mess.

I'm afraid there's nothing I could hide from him even if I want to.

And if there's anything I know truly, is that such blessings we could see surround us, must be honoured.

As his warmth surrounds me more, closing the distance behind us, coldness running over my body for a second from the sensation of being engulfed by his warmth. His arm squeezing me tightly against his chest as he feels it.

His face nestled in my neck, I welcome myself in his embrace, basking in the nothingness for what time could let me have, for as long as he let me.

And as I got myself out again, "Hey." He whispered, and I almost smiled and laughed.

I twined my hand on his where it lays on my stomach as I nuzzle my head against his chest. "Hi." Barely a whisper.

He squeezed my hand, holding me even more on him. "Hi." His hot breath almost could sedate me.

I don't speak after that but just remained loose in his grasp.

He keeps me together.

"Can I carry you to bed?" He asked. I wouldn't even have to answer.

There he kneels before me as I sit on the edge of his bed.

God, he has my heart.

"Forgive me..." I merely spoke, not meeting his eyes. Would it be bad if I hope he'd be angry? "Don't be mad." What a lie.

I'm not ready to see the hurt in his eyes. "I..I've been...thinking of killing myself lately a lot."

His hands holding mine turns tighter, I feel his gaze on me not breaking, nor even falter. "Will you look at me?"

It only takes once for me to listen to his.....plea.

It's not long to see the pain underneath him. How cruel do I have to be to feel solace in them.

Too much a human I have become.

It's only inevitable for him to blame himself but he figures maybe that would be selfish if he thought of himself first before you when it is you who has been hurting all along.

So he does what he think is best--to be there with you. As he always has been.

He doesn't speak, instead graced you with his lips on your knuckles, making each tender kiss last, never letting his eyes stray as he does.

There's something so to behold in the comfort we can offer with silence, taking a part of what breaks us, almost giving us a clean slate.

And I want to kill myself. I do. But I want to hear my brother's laugh more. I want to see my nephew and niece grow up. I want to see my friends more.

And I want to feel him more everyday. To hear my heart bang so loud in my chest as he slowly kiss all of my fingertips, each kiss so soft yet unyielding.

We're only human after all.

"Let me bathe you." He spoke after kissing your knuckles once again.

And there you were in the bathroom as he strips you off just after he drew you a bath.

There you were both under the water, laying against his chest as he's sitting back on the bathhub.

What more could I ask for as he hold my hands, flowing our fingers gently above the water, his face resting softly upon mine, with his heart beating against me, reminding me of my own.

A blessing of the many from being a human in this land.

"Will you let me?" He asks as he slowly free your hands to run them up slowly your arms. And you let out only the faintest of 'yes'.

I want to kill myself.

But I want to feel this more as he gives himself to me as I for him, each time.

#ayoko naaaaaaaaaaa #idgaf anymore

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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Napkin angels 1, 2, and 3

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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KageHina on an after practice snack run

#haikyuu!!#art #illustration

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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the brainrot for this movie got me making 4 separate fanart pieces during finals week 😭😭

worth every all nighter tho, bc i love this movie sm!!!

#so fucking cool #art #illustration #spiderman: across the spiderverse

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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atsumu really haunts me when i'm listening to this song

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #irene rambles 💭#katarantaduhan🌠#likeeeeeeeeee

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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very rough draft. platonic and just a short one

#urgh lord let me finish this one please #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#iiirene's 🖋️#irene rambles 💭

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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New Coraline design drop

#so cool #art #illustration #films

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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❝Despite everything, it's still you.❞

a quote from undertale that made me really think of yuta :) so i really wanted to draw this out

#ang cuteeeeeeee #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #illustration #yuta okkotsu

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strawberrrier · 3 months

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missing him lately

young love

It's adorably sickening how endearing he is.

The truth he's undeniably cute in oblivious of.

He is such a loser.

If your noise for him isn't enough to be heard, you could only hope your silence could be.

Nevertheless, you don't take it upon him.

One of the smartest people you know and still could be the dumbest. Always adorably so. Irritating, however—he's cute.

"What?" He asks, his eyebrows raising, along with that damn smirk of his.

Breaking you out of your daze. The two of you sitting across from each other. You've lost yourself while he was talking about his volleyball activities that you yourself asked of.

You only look at him, not saying anything for a moment but just stare, your smile evident. "What?" He laughs. It's a knowing look of yours, that he can tell, but he doesn't know.

You clicked your tongue, "Nothing." You shrugged, your little, calm smile stays nonetheless.

"Seriously." He pressed, playfully so despite that he really wants to know.

Your lips turns up more as you look down on your lap. Whether he's still as clueless or he's beginning to know the littlest of it—you couldn't care less at the moment.

He doesn't.

It's a wonder how you could held his gaze with him not breaking it, all while his grinning eyes remains. "I just....." You trail off, your voice turning mellow. "Adore you."

Tetsu breathes a little laugh. He nods as he looks down for a second, his ever teasing grin melting to a smile he rarely has. He looks up but to the side, his smile stays and it gets wider.

Before he looks back at you again. And there you figure, that finally—"I know."

💌🖋️: i miss him. that's it. very high school happy crush inspired

#i hate his ass #iiirene's 🖋️#tetsu 🤬💘

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