when i picked you up on the side of the road, you were all soaked through with kerosene and blood. there was not much i could do - only to hold you close (i did get my clothes dirty) and properly bath you in hot waters (the bath-tab still smells). i picked out the insects of your badly infected wounds and i combed your fur gently. your teeth - all lost, as if you were biting to hard onto bones and flesh and chains.
still, you remain. a creature, godly, for what your survival has been a miracle indeed.
what man did betray you? someone asked
i hide my gaze and answer: i did
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โHow my tinder date helped me write a Harvard application essayโ
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i am still at war with English language.
sometimes it fires with a single mistake,
sometimes with my mother apologizing for not speaking good enough English.
the city of my heart is breaking and i know that it will be hard to build it up again.
sometimes i fire back with yet another English book read and understood,
sometimes with an essay graded 90%.
โ hello!
โ hello!
sometimes we are at peace:
when me and my friend greet each other. we go through with many stories, and i try to use some words, found in an English book. translated or not after, i use them and i feel powerful. my friend does the same thing.
she comes over to my house, and we drink our tea.
my mother comes down.
she apologizes.
and at that moment i know i am losing again.
me and my friend say our goodbyes.
and
i know its not my language
i know its not hers either
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in no universe i desire to be cold-hearted and callous
for myself to be solid
i wish to melt in your arms
to cover you up in skin and bones
to keep you warm
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โyou can always learn how to sewโ@someonedeartome
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the story of my favorite stuffed animal being eaten by a dog. she found her way back to me!
โEvery thing that you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form.โ
โ Franz Kafka
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