Sometimes when I make a post, it's just to put a thought out into the world that I can't share with anyone in my personal life (mind you, usually not very serious topics because I avoid being vulnerable as a coping mechanism against myself). Today's share is definitely in the category of not being a big issue, but no one in my life is gonna understand me on the level I'd like to discuss this... BUT CAN I JUST SAY the new IU MV with Kim Taehyung "Love Wins All" has me screaming/SOBBING/throwing up. I know a lot of the fanbase feels the same. This MV is so emotional in ways I can't even explain, while also knowing EXACTLY where these feelings are coming from. My body was not ready for this masterpiece. The lyrics. The singing. Everything. I could go on and on about all the symbolism I perceive. And I KNOW Taehyung played a big part in the storyboarding of how it played out, you can see it everywhere. And anyone else notice all the references to BTS music videos in there??? I was losing my mind.

Overall: 10/10 MV, the world was blessed

Lately an old memory has come to haunt me with a vengeance, sending me into waves of relentless cringing and I gotta put this out to the world to laugh at me. But several years ago I attempted the "dating app" and one person's bio included something about iKON, and my asian ass thinking brain immediately was like, "ah! The kpop group! Wasn't expecting that!" And I think I might've commented on that and they never responded because (come to find out much later) they were referring to a skiing pass... UGH! And even worse is that while waiting for a potential reply, I proceeded to listen to all of iKON's music history to refresh, and BOI that does +100 mental damage to me. *siiiiiiiigh* I'm just gonna blame whoever named the ski pass cuz how dare they do me dirty like this. This is damage for LIFE. They should cover my therapy bills

The fact that the movie title 'Everything Everywhere All at Once' isn't about ADHD/Autism is a travesty. The title perfectly captures the experience

I can understand why the feeling of clothes on my body and riding my moped to work are entirely overwhelming, but why is it that my unshaved legs (together with those other things) is what sets me over the edge?

I cannot express the pure and utter delight upon discovering that the fancy Apple product boxes smell like apples inside. The elation my senses received at this subtle, yet punny, detail is cause enough to tempt me into purchasing an Apple product. The designer behind this idea will receive a marriage proposal via mail should I ever find them. And that is a threat

Something about a wallet full of cash makes me wanna shake my ass

Some people be reading romance novels/webtoons/manhuas/manga, and watching romance dramas-- and declare how unrealistic the stories are when the leads fall in love so quickly-- as if they didn't just see some hottie in public that morning and instantly create an extensive internal romance fantasy story between them

Sometimes after making the most decadent and SCRUMPTIOUS grilled cheese sandwich, nothing else in the world seems to matter. Bliss is all I know, and I can in fact do that hard thing

A bitch can't die until her work is done.... *Sigh*

Not me thinking about the jjk ending 'Stand in the Darkness' cuz THIS song... this song is the true theme of the whole series. Across the board, hands down, I don't make the rules.

If Gege chooses to go the route of only Itadori surviving (which would make jjk a well done tragedy), remember this song *ugly sobbing*

My car accident cherry has been popped, and damn, it doesn't feel fantastic. I know the human species has managed to glamorize or fetishize nearly everything, but I hope car crashes hasn't debuted yet

As the saying goes, "the couples that stare together stay together" Example A being: Shallan+Adolin from the Stormlight series

Who they staring at together? Obviously Kaladin.

When Lil Nas X said "I wanna fuck the ones I envy" he was being fucking for real

I hate when my mind comes up with some really good lines that I'm either;

A) not currently writing a story where they'd fit into

Or

B) NEVER in a scenario that I could use it (*sigh*)

Today in the shower, the humorous line my mind came up with was,

"Sorry, while you were taking names and kicking ass, I was taking names AND taking ass."

When it comes to love (despite what loved ones may tell me), I find it to be unobtainable to me because I do not think anyone will truly ever love me. The real me. They may be charmed in the beginning, but over time they will either be turned off or only see me as friendship material. They won't be in love for the long haul.

Some have asked if that's a matter of whether I truly love myself (to which I know I battle with accepting myself on many occasions) but while talking with myself, I realize, on my own I am perfectly happy and enjoy spending time alone with myself. I like myself and think I'm hilarious and beautiful. Yes, there are things I find displeasing and want to change, but that's not me not loving myself, that's simple viewing my self and my interactions with the world around me realistically and change being a constant.

And it occurs to me that the times I do not love myself is when I am thinking about how other people (often specific individuals) perceive me as. And in those cases, I cringe and find myself deplorable.

So for me, finding love will in large part be a matter of finding someone I trust when they tell me they love me. Trusting that when my shortcomings are on display, I won't be abandoned. Reconciliation between me and the free-will of perception of me by others.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

Do you need a permit to drive a hearse? I just feel like having your casual car be a hearse would be the ultimate goth power move, ya know?

Waking up and looking into the mirror to see your face has broken out in horrific randomness while you were catching some Z's was an audacious move when you were entrusting it to beauty sleep