Dear Mom & Dad (But mostly Mom)

What the Freak! I get 1 measly piercing and its the end of the world as we know it! Like cool your jets. I'm 26. Which means I'm grown as hell (even though I still rent a room from you) and can make my own decisions. Even if it's something tereible like dying my hair yellow. I felt like so sue me. I'm not burning down your house, doing drugs or stealing. I'm not even using YOUR money.

The old days are over, no one cares if my nose has a tiny fake diamond in it. So here are the new rules.

1. Your child is NOT your spouse they don't need to check in with you every hour, or even every minute, past 18.

2. Think twice before posting something on their social media site. We will delete that comment. They don't have an account because of you. They just added you so you wouldn't complain about it.

3. Don't wish ill upon them. You guys teach us to be nice and treat people how we want to be treated... but we do ONE thing and it's "now watch you break your neck." WTF!?

4. We are NOT your friends. You can't tell us everything and we DON'T want to know everything. So don't get mad when we don't want to listen.

5. Don't baby us. Most normal adults hate that crap! We're not 5. That ship has sailed. Let us go and grow up. If you keey torturing us with your doubt and nostalgia we WILL resent you. Not because we don't love you, but because you gave us no choice.

6. We WILL mess up. If we learn something from it. Let it be. Dont say I told you so, cause we start playing the "Mother Knows Best" song (from tangled) in our heads. Which doesn't have you coming out as a hero to us.

Me right now. Feeling like I'm settling for what maybe possibly could work out down the line... I will wait for THE ONE, not the kind of sort of might be's.

Old Pain, New Forgiveness

When I was screaming out for help Nobody came to my rescue So I developed thicker skin Hiding all the residue

Cuz I guess mom was tired And the siblings were grown They ask why I’m anti-social Cuz I feel so alone

Yea I guess I did want to Be different, an individual But my outlook lacked foresight So my desires became criminal

Thought to be insignificant I couldn’t tell them how I really felt Always running off on my own I just wanted to lose myself

I exude confidence But really I’m so scared Cuz the family sheltered then left me In this world unprepared

I was my only teacher No wonder I have a hard time And when I fail myself Who should pay for the crime

Now I’m an adult With tough choices to make Feeling lost Lord Please take this plate

All these choices get harder I desire your help But I won’t even seek your face In the end I’m torturing myself

Just want to make it to my goal But I don’t know after that How to solve the need To be, where my family’s at

So I’m lost praying for direction But first I need release In forgiving the givers of pain My heart healed will bring peace

Untitled

Drifting out like two streams Side by side we make our journey Quietly passing time shallow gurglings Masquerading like we're so deep We move so close but never meet Never joining our focused flow To become one And still become more We barely talk and when we do It's only topics you chose Politics, music and school Never a whisper of a confession from you So one day I flew the coupe I chose to come away from you Done with your petty ramblings I deny my heart and hide the truth In my weakness I reach out You reassure me of some doubt "I really miss you" breaks my heart So I decide to work it out Now I'm back to the same thing Your will your way your words I'm as patient as a saint But my heart can be absurd You don't show your feelings But I don't understand that If you want to hang on to me Your heart and your mouth must make contact Where is the progress We digress I'm obsessed With this mess If you don't speak Or won't say What you feel I won't stay I need more then sporadic karaoke And occasional I miss you's I need full cooperation To work through all of our issues

"Family: the people you WISH you could discard like a bad friend. "

Me- C.S

"Feeling like a battered wife, ready to tuck my tail and run. Secretly, away from you, thinking what have I done."

Me

No Flowers In The Woods (Snippet)

I feel poisoned Like you spit venom at my vine I'm withering In the pain you left behind Is this how you treat people Make them believe they're wrong Hatefully speak to me Break me down from being strong I guess I should've known better I guess I should've understood There's no place for flowers In this neighborhood You just wanna tare me down You wanna step across my body While I'm splayed across the floor You tell me not to make a sound But I'm counting the breaths Till I can scream "No More" I guess I should've known better I guess I should've understood There's no place for flowers In this neck of the woods

Love?

Gosh I really think I love him. I've only been in love once, and that was one sided, so it doesn't really count. Then my second boyfriend... that was almost love if it wasn't for the sexual tension that poisoned my mind. I can't say that I've had much experience in the way of mutual adoration. I usually get myself caught up in feelings for someone who won't give me two shakes. Those one-sided relationships hurt the most. I guess a REAL relationship is all I ever really want. Now I find myself looking at my current nameless relationship and I wonder if I hold on to it for comfort or if I am willing to carry it all the way. Why am I attracted to this boy. Is it the British accent, the curl of his hair, his smile, maybe his intellect, or maybe because he's one of the worst singers I've heard but I love to hear him sing. I enjoy just laying around his room or hanging onto him at any time. Being away from him is painful. After knowing what his hug feels like and the way his head feels resting on the small of my back. Even without having slept with him or kissed him on the lips, I feel emptier now than before. I feel more and more like a piece of me is missing now that I am not within a BART train's reach of him. Like I left more than belongings back home, and I feel the need to go back and retrieve that piece of me. Though I can't tell him all these things because I don't know how he'll react, I find myself holding on to hope for us. Planning a future for my love to reside in.

This Relationship Enigma

You, catch me on my better days Even though it's me seeking you out You catch me I didn't even know I was falling Maybe I already fell And you picked me up Wiped my tears And reassured me that I never did What is this Is it my need to find someone That pulls me into your orbit Because I don't want to be alone Left without a kiss Or without a touch That hollow feeling That you can sometimes fill up You give me security So I treat you like a backup plan If Thor never comes You're my man I use the extra time Between you making up your mind To leave myself available for someone new While making myself still available for you In reality I don't wanna hurt you But your avoidance of the truth Highlights your youth And maybe you're too young for me Maybe I'm too old for you Maybe I need more than you could ever do And that's what hurts the most That I might actually have to let you go Instead of waiting for you to mature Because, of your feelings, I've never been quite sure

My Philosophy on Men

My Uncle heard about the last guy I was talking to. Well he heard he was white. I corrected him and said British- American. He didn't care. He said all he wants me to do "Is find a good, college educated, Christian, Black man." Then he cushions his words with "I'm not racist my great grandfather was white." So what's the deal then? Obviously there is a stigma against white males and brown women. My uncle and I are very light in skin tone, and I sometimes wonder (as it pertains to light skinned black people) if they feel a sense of superiority because of their skin tone. I'm not saying all of us are like that, there have been too many hurtful names I have been called in my young life, but what is the deal? I have been told I can't have too long/ strict a list as it pertains to narrowing down a perspective mate; and yet I find skin color to be a strict rule. I really don't care what color my boyfriend or future husband will be. God knows I can find hotness in any shade. I just require him to be smart family oriented christian with a sense of humor and an ok singing voice. I don't think its that hard. If I wanted to be extremely picky I could say I want an Indian man 6'3 with light eyes, long flowing hair, muscular, with a gorgeous smile with a perfectly warm British accent and a voice like Robin Thicke... Yeeeeeeaaaaa. That's extremely hot to me. Even though that's alluring to me I realize my guy doesn't have to be extremely sexy as long as I can just look at him and be warmed and attracted to his personality. I don't need all the bells and whistles.... but some bells and some whistles would be nice. I want love built on deeper things than skin tone.

Shooting Hearts

You give me a fever

I think I caught a cold

My desires for you run deep

They never get old

Cuz just when I thought I was done

Waiting for your hand

You smile with your eyes

And now my grounds turned into quicksand

{ Chorus}

Ohhhh

There you go

Shooting hearts with your arrows

Hearts with your arrows

Oh Ohh

There you go

All us girls are just  like sparrows

And you kills us with your arrows

Thousands of miles between us

My feelings for you never die

Something keeps on burning

Kindling my fire from the inside

You're my romeo

Will I love you till death do us part

Or will you strike me down

Because you detonated a grenade in my heart

Chorus x2

Original Song by: Sassy Yuhaeng aka Cynthia S

Drunken Fool

I will never party like a rockstar Or get drunk off my backseat You throwin up for hours Yea... that's frickin nasty I really just don't get You say it's all for fun Till you're on your knees Praying God please, bowing to the porcelain son You can be mad at me I'm just sayin it's kind of ridiculous Early morning drunk texts to your ex Cuz you got smashed off 3/5ths of this It would've helped if you passed math in school But I guess that was too much to ask You were drunk your entire senior year I wonder how you even passed

Slow Down

I think I dreamed of you

At least I wanted to

Find you, in between krispy kremes

And moments of "I do"

Maybe it's just when I close my eyes

I hear your voice in my head

The low timber and rumble

That could pull me down in your bed

I feel like I'm moving so fast

My mind wants to tell me slow down

But you get me, when you give that half smile

And my heart just wants to go now

There's no doubt

I've never felt quite like this

I know that you're not talking

But all I can hear is your lips

I don't wanna be a fiend on the scene

Yea that really takes some know how

So I'll just take my heart back off my sleeve

Cuz I feel like I should go now

Seriously funny and true. I dance and I am used to "strapping" the girls down. I usually wear a full coverage bra, 1 or 2 sports bras, and a fricken unitard; because double D's can be CRAY!

Some Idiot/How Sports Bras Work (by JennaMarbles)

Emotional Baggage

Day 4: Meaning Behind Tumblr Name

I'm not fluent in any language but American English, but I dabble in a few sayings from Hindi, Spanish and Korean... Anyway I also love being EXTREMELY different when it comes to my style. Plus my nickname is Sassy amongst a certain community of people. My name is literally "Sassy Fashion".

Day 2: 10 Likes & Dislikes

Likes:

Guys with long hair

Swimming (I can live in a pool)

Guys with nice butts

Ryan Gosling

Thor

Sun Flower Seeds

Gum

Nail Polish and Mani's

Shopping

Being held captive (in arms or eyes) by someone who gets me, and wants to be with me regardless of sex

Dislikes:

Thirsty (desperate) females

Fake Lying ho's

Shy guys

People who take too long to do basic stuff

People who talk to me like I'm dumb

The popularity "Hierarchy" in general ( I don't give a fuq who is dating who and who is the Queen B. I bow to no one!)

Negative people

Not having money

Math

Not being in control