Imagine that both Lil'Dante and Lil'Vergil absolutely HATE having to share their birthday with the most annoying person on the planet. Imagine that on their eighth birthday, they both blow out their candles wishing they would NEVER have to share their birthday again. Now imagine on their ninth birthday... they both wish they could take that birthday wish back.

It is just as critically important for the Netflix DMC anime to properly portray Vergil (he's going to be there, of course he is) as it is to portray Dante. Their whole shtick is that one is cool by acting uncool and the other is uncool by repeatedly causing mass disasters in an effort to be seen as cool

Dante doesn't smoke. He exclusively eats pizza and ice cream. He gets stabbed twice a week. He unironically says "Woohoo! Yeeha! Watcha!" All the women in his life keep attacking him and then take all of his money, with the exception of Patty, who got rich and decorated Devil May Cry in balloons and ribbons and then stole Dante's ice cream anyway. His nephew kicked him into a statue and impaled him with his own sword when they first met.

Vergil is a grown-ass man running around with a katana cutting down everything but his mommy issues. He loses every fight. He uses hair gel despite not even living in human society. He attacked his dad's enemy to prove he was just as good and they kicked his ass. He made up his own overpowered self-insert devilsona because he kept losing to Dante and then it kicked his ass. His humansona looks like if Kylo Ren googled what emo was. He killed millions of people for a fruit that makes you stronger and then Dante kicked his ass. And then his son kicked his ass. He has never paid child support. He answered Dante's statement of "You cut off your own son's arm for this?" with "My son means nothing to me" and then gets surprised when told that Nero is his son, implying he's cut so many arms off that his son being Nero never even entered his mind. His own doppleganger summon occasionally dances outside of his control, making him die of cringe.

Meanwhile, Nero, left unsupported by both his father and his uncle for most of his life, got out of a cult, married his love, runs a soup kitchen, has a stable job, can actually hire a mechanic to help out, and owns a car, but somehow he's the loser in the family.

All of this happened only because it's typical for Beetlejuice. Like objectively he wouldn't miss such an opportunity 🚬

Bonus

Look, listen, on one hand I can understand why Alastor wasn't included in any of the hotel's group bonding activities, I mean of course it's Alastor we're talking about, but on the other hand I am not exagerating when I say I would sell my soul to have him do trust falls or go to club with the others

Alastor did the gay hand so much already, I have trouble believing that nobody realized yet.

who taught his great depression ass this slang 😭😭😭

top 10 celebrities who didn’t age well

[!! do not repost !!]

ok so i randomly decided to get back into the fandom lmaoo

i didnt rlly put a lot of thought into the black lord design, it was mainly just for fun and an art refresher

(also ive forgotten half of the lore)

when ghostsoap meet reaper76

WIP!!

So i thought abt it and like, i cant unsee it now. Gabe and Jack as Aziraphale and Crowley, youre welcome reaper76 nation.

Everyone always talks about how if they suddenly woke up as Batman for some time, they'd either kill every villain and end crime or kill the JL and become some type of overlord, but wanna know what i'd do?

I would pull up Clark Kent in my contacts, tell him I am an extremely incompetent person stuck in Bruce's body, that I have trouble keeping myself alive while going up the stairs, and that I have the deductive skills of a wet paper bag. I never managed to solve a single riddle without Google and patterns are invisible to my eyes.

Then I'd kiss Alfred on the cheek, text every contact I have that I love them and promptly fuck off in my private jet to the Caribbean enjoying the rest of my life as a billionaire in a 5 starts resort, cuz fuck Gotham it's past saving anyway. That life probably won't be long cuz I'll have a cardiac arrest the moment someone points a gun at me in my first assassination attempt.

me 95% of the time when unconventional pet names are used in fics: ew that’s awkward, please don’t do it again

me when dick (and sometimes jason) call tim baby bird in batfam fics: oh wow that is adorable, please do it a million more times

I just think this is very funny

Jason being canonically a red head just makes so much sense??

Like, back when I started reading fics and didn't know anything about comics, I always imagined him as a blond because, let's be real, that boy does NOT have dark-hair energy, no matter how hard he tries.

But him being a goddam ginger? That just fits on a spiritual level

✨️And it broke, agian...✨️

Exactly the same thing happened yesterday, with exactly the same longfic.

How have I still not learned my lesson about downloading?

shameless moments but make it the batfamily