let’s celebrate earth day by being kind to the planet and killing ourselves 🍄🍃

Sorry, I think I accidentally sacrificed your friends and family and the love of your life in order to make the moon eclipse the sun forever and ever. I hope I didn't inconvenience you. Do you want a cookie?

Too bad this beautiful soul wronged me. I now hold his brother for ransom in the dungeon beneath my forest castle. I lured him into the dark pit of the forest with my song. And he cannot live without him. He can have him back if he only… sends bomb threats to civilians on my behalf. How did they wrong me exactly? Well, they exist. It’s disgusting, I know. But his stupid brother would rather remain my prisoner when he cries “no, do the right thing, brother!” Well, he won’t be saying that after I lock him in a room with every painfully tropey generic kid’s movie I can think of playing back to back until he finally shuts his trap and lets him be my reluctant henchman.

um yeah I pull bitches. pull bitches into my dark realm of terrors

I’m an evil siren and a failgirl. I would come. I get so lonely 🥺

I want to host my own evil convention where all the dark wizards, tyrants, cannibals, despots, mad scientists, vengeful engineers, and failboys/failgirls can get together and do fun stuff like sack racing and flencing live cops. But I'm afraid nobody will show up. I refuse to create evil dashcon.

the only facism i tolerate is ecofacism

would you like me to lure them with my song and make them go missing?

ngl everyone the chosen one and their merry band of misfit friends are fucking up my empire

One thing about me is that I love to peddle dangerous conspiracy theories that harm society because I'm so quirky like that

Shoot, did I accidentally crush an orphanage with my dark insectoid tendrils? I'm so sorry! Ugh, my autism and clinical anxiety really frazzles my brain sometimes.